The Case of The Saladin Ruby

Your use of short paragraphs and crisp dialogue keeps the pace of your story flowing well. You have done a good job in capturing the essence of not only the time period and of this genre as well. Your character development of Jonny and Adam is excellent and you have a nice descriptive writng style. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

ADAM TERRY / Raymond Terry

First of all, before I say anything I want to make it clear that I am a Sherlock Holmes freak! I've read everything Doyle ever penned, listened to every episode of The New Adventures of SH on XM Radio's Imagination Theatre by Jim French and his wonderful cast. Ironically, I think SH is best depicted by Jon Patrick Lowery in that capacity. I would have loved to see him play Holmes in film. I can't believe they chose that idiot Robert Downey Jr to play the role in the recent movie. What an insult to the institution of Doyle. They also made the mistake of not including / seeking counsel from M J Elliot, whom I consider the world's most knowledgeable information source on the character Sherlock Holmes.

Raymond Terry attempts to fill some mighty big shoes here. Essentially, one does not have to directly mimick every detail of Doyle's characters, nor attempt to be Doyle. In notes below, Mr. Scaife was honest in his opinion of dissention in comparison to other's remarks. Assuming Scaife is an Englishman / scholar with vast knowledge of Holmes / Doyle, as he claims, I can understand why he might have made the claim he did and the direction of his critique. In contrast however, I disagree with him. I would reference the aforementioned Jim French and M J Elliott once again. They too, have strayed somewhat at times in episodes of the radio program they write / dramatize. Just as many of the actors who have portrayed SH through the years have been different, so can be authors who attempt to keep this wonderful character alive and well in the imaginations of readers. I think Doyle would have approved of Raymond Terry's depiction personally. Then again, I didn't know the chap.

I think characterization is strong here. From the onset, no Watson means no Strand and that establishes that this will be different. It's okay though. Different is good. Why simply copycat the method previously used? Expand! Terry does that without sacrificing the essence of the character of SH. Bravo! Creativity is the key here.

I would much rather look into the plot as it presented by Terry himself. Even Mr. Scaife acknowledges the quality of the writing / story. His problem is with characterization. With all due respect to him, Mr. Terry brought the events to America for a reason....comfort zone. To me, this eliminates his need to replicate the flavor as Doyle would have done, yet, allows him the open door to do exactly as he has done here. And I think he has done it well.

Terry writes like a thriller writer should. He places his details in clear format, describing his scenes with crafty, well thought prowess. I've not read his other works yet so I am going simply on the result of having read this. I think he captures the essence of his characters very well using accurate language of the times and detailing his descriptions with clever wording. I see a flow that is reminiscent of a wise author here, knowing he is using terms many readers may not be familiar with, he serves them clearly and has chosen phrases and dialogue carefully so as to 'keep' the reader. Outstanding. I wonder how many notice this crafty trait. It is as if he knows when to simplify and he moves in and out with precision.

I think young readers will be enticed to become familiar with SH because of this. By not duplicating the presentation of characters, Terry establishes an identity for himself as a 'new wave' SH writer and again, I think Mr. Doyle would approve. Anything that is worthy of being labeled good writing as it is applied to SH takes one more step in helping to keep the character alive through the ages.

The New York scenery in masterful for the times. Terry utilizes a brilliant understanding of slang English. He is not repetitive, as some are when writing what they are not familiar with, making it clear he has done his homework and no doubt read a great deal of SH himself.

The plot is masterful. I've read a few of Doyle's own stories that were not set up as well. There were, at times, places where I feel some basic things could be addressed that have nothing to do with whether the characterization is accurate or not. While dialogue is strong, I feel it is a bit light, making some scenes narrative heavy. I assume it is because of Terry's intention to outline these scenes carefully. There was a time or two where I felt the character could have fulfilled that purpose where narrative was 'telling' me the story. I won;t go back and pick, I simply observed that in a 'few' places. One example: Just above this box, at the end of the chapter. "Now there was a new day dawning." or "...oh that heavenly smell that reeked of lemon verbana etc,..." These are author opinion / desriptions unless the character is saying it in dialogue.

The words ( so, was, has, and ) could be lessened with some editing work. Just my opinion. I know Terry makes it clear he isn;t interested in puncuation critique and I respect that but there were no commas used in dialogue preceding names. It was distracting to me....just saying.

All in all, this is very good work. Bold and captivating as far as I am concerned. It displays Terry's brave sense as an author to tackle a tall project which I admire very much. I've done nothing more than fantasize about writing SH stories. I wouldn't dare. Then again, I might now, with permission after seeing him do it. Bravo, Mr. Terry.....Bravo!

6 stars for this piece. Intricate plot. Great characterization in this stand-alone SH thriller. Good writing, crafty, clever and delivered so as to be recieved by a wide array of readership.

I am no Sherlock Holmes expert, but I think you've captured the flavor very well. Whether it emulates the original properly for afficionados or not, I think you have a wonderful style and I wish you well with this. It promises to be a great story.

THE CASE OF THE SALADIN RUBY
Raymond Terry

Oh what a delight. I am so eager to read this new adventure you have written. I will be in awe of anyone that can capture the essence of the fabled Sherlock Holmes. He is one of my favorite characters in the history of storytelling.

I will communicate my admiration to you, which is certain to flower, upon reading this novel of yours.

Sincerely,

Mary Enck

I thought I was the only Holmes fanatic. This book and the comments here prove me wrong and that Holmes is a legendary character that will live as long as English, (British & American) lives. I didn't care much for the Robeert Dowqny Holmes either. That what Hollywood has become. The only familiar things between a book and the movie made from a book is the title. Sometimes they even change that. They change the characters all the time. If he is white they make him black. If he from Brooklyn, they make him British. There is a new Holmes TV show coming out here in the USA. Doctor is an Asian-American women. Does that make sense? When the They did a movie of a friend's which I thought was a very good book. I don't know why they paid him for the rights. It was a completely different movie that the book was and went straight to DVD. They don't know why!!!!!\
I know the major studios were abusive at times, but they said that if actors started making their own movies the movie industry fall to a lot self made movies which would be like self published books. They were right.
Forgive my rambling. I too wrote a Sherlock Holmes story, but mine was a short story that is out to magazines.
However, I kept it in London, (although I live in Florida) and kept all the characters. If it is taken by a magazine, I'll know it worked. I think your book captures the spirit of Sherlock Holmes and bring it into the American culture, though at a different time. There are enough Sherlock Holmes out there andso many more mystery lovers that I think your book will do well.. I am giving it five stars. Unfortunately I'm full on my book shelf. They should have ten spaces for a blog site that has over five thousand books trying to get on shelves.

Fan fiction, whereby an author is inspired by another work of literature, is to this reader already an established genre. Jane Austen has inspired so many adaptations of her work – from film and television drama to Pride and Prejudice for Zombies that I regard what you’’ve done with the Sherlock Holmes story as a perfectly legitimate form of self-expression. It is not my intention to compare your work with that of the original author as I judge any adaptation on its own merits.

This is well-written and the familiarity with the setting conveys a strong sense of place and time. It really does, to this reader, seem to have captured the New York of the late 19th century. This is well-written although I do think that the dialogue, particularly in Chapter Three could do with a polish. It feels expository and could do with more sub-text but as I see that this is a work in progress I am sure that this could easily be fixed in a rewrite.

Overall, you have done a good job and I wish you luck with it.
Alison (Lambert Nagle)
Revolution Earth

THE CASE OF THE SALADIN RUBY
RAYMOND TERRY
Hullo Raymond. What a great start. If you haven't please take a look at Sherlock Holmes for Dummies, it is quite informative. You have touched on jolly old England on the edge of the semi-violent subculture of the New York City of that time.Well, still can be a bit violent today but not in the same way. The only thing that came to my attention was when the servant girl answered, 'Mam'. The correct spelling is ma'am and it is easy to overlook. you are starred and will be shelved as soon as possible.Please take a peek at my non-fiction and thank you for that. LLL

Not sure playing on your name and subject matter are wise... just my POV some works should just be left in their originality.

Being up to speed with authors is great and important but not on par...

However, you may shed light on something I cant see...

HUH?

Not sure playing on your name and subject matter are wise... just my POV some works should just be left in their originality.

Being up to speed with authors is great and important but not on par...

However, you may shed light on something I cant see...

Hi Raymond,

I love your creative take on the Sherlock Holmes series, breathing new life into a classic set of characters and plot scheme. It's clear you have researched the period, accurately representing the culture and language in the piece. Well done and best of luck (stars headed your way)!

Deb

ADAM TERRY / Raymond Terry

First of all, before I say anything I want to make it clear that I am a Sherlock Holmes freak! I've read everything Doyle ever penned, listened to every episode of The New Adventures of SH on XM Radio's Imagination Theatre by Jim French and his wonderful cast. Ironically, I think SH is best depicted by Jon Patrick Lowery in that capacity. I would have loved to see him play Holmes in film. I can't believe they chose that idiot Robert Downey Jr to play the role in the recent movie. What an insult to the institution of Doyle. They also made the mistake of not including / seeking counsel from M J Elliot, whom I consider the world's most knowledgeable information source on the character Sherlock Holmes.

Raymond Terry attempts to fill some mighty big shoes here. Essentially, one does not have to directly mimick every detail of Doyle's characters, nor attempt to be Doyle. In notes below, Mr. Scaife was honest in his opinion of dissention in comparison to other's remarks. Assuming Scaife is an Englishman / scholar with vast knowledge of Holmes / Doyle, as he claims, I can understand why he might have made the claim he did and the direction of his critique. In contrast however, I disagree with him. I would reference the aforementioned Jim French and M J Elliott once again. They too, have strayed somewhat at times in episodes of the radio program they write / dramatize. Just as many of the actors who have portrayed SH through the years have been different, so can be authors who attempt to keep this wonderful character alive and well in the imaginations of readers. I think Doyle would have approved of Raymond Terry's depiction personally. Then again, I didn't know the chap.

I think characterization is strong here. From the onset, no Watson means no Strand and that establishes that this will be different. It's okay though. Different is good. Why simply copycat the method previously used? Expand! Terry does that without sacrificing the essence of the character of SH. Bravo! Creativity is the key here.

I would much rather look into the plot as it presented by Terry himself. Even Mr. Scaife acknowledges the quality of the writing / story. His problem is with characterization. With all due respect to him, Mr. Terry brought the events to America for a reason....comfort zone. To me, this eliminates his need to replicate the flavor as Doyle would have done, yet, allows him the open door to do exactly as he has done here. And I think he has done it well.

Terry writes like a thriller writer should. He places his details in clear format, describing his scenes with crafty, well thought prowess. I've not read his other works yet so I am going simply on the result of having read this. I think he captures the essence of his characters very well using accurate language of the times and detailing his descriptions with clever wording. I see a flow that is reminiscent of a wise author here, knowing he is using terms many readers may not be familiar with, he serves them clearly and has chosen phrases and dialogue carefully so as to 'keep' the reader. Outstanding. I wonder how many notice this crafty trait. It is as if he knows when to simplify and he moves in and out with precision.

I think young readers will be enticed to become familiar with SH because of this. By not duplicating the presentation of characters, Terry establishes an identity for himself as a 'new wave' SH writer and again, I think Mr. Doyle would approve. Anything that is worthy of being labeled good writing as it is applied to SH takes one more step in helping to keep the character alive through the ages.

The New York scenery in masterful for the times. Terry utilizes a brilliant understanding of slang English. He is not repetitive, as some are when writing what they are not familiar with, making it clear he has done his homework and no doubt read a great deal of SH himself.

The plot is masterful. I've read a few of Doyle's own stories that were not set up as well. There were, at times, places where I feel some basic things could be addressed that have nothing to do with whether the characterization is accurate or not. While dialogue is strong, I feel it is a bit light, making some scenes narrative heavy. I assume it is because of Terry's intention to outline these scenes carefully. There was a time or two where I felt the character could have fulfilled that purpose where narrative was 'telling' me the story. I won;t go back and pick, I simply observed that in a 'few' places. One example: Just above this box, at the end of the chapter. "Now there was a new day dawning." or "...oh that heavenly smell that reeked of lemon verbana etc,..." These are author opinion / desriptions unless the character is saying it in dialogue.

The words ( so, was, has, and ) could be lessened with some editing work. Just my opinion. I know Terry makes it clear he isn;t interested in puncuation critique and I respect that but there were no commas used in dialogue preceding names. It was distracting to me....just saying.

All in all, this is very good work. Bold and captivating as far as I am concerned. It displays Terry's brave sense as an author to tackle a tall project which I admire very much. I've done nothing more than fantasize about writing SH stories. I wouldn't dare. Then again, I might now, with permission after seeing him do it. Bravo, Mr. Terry.....Bravo!

6 stars for this piece. Intricate plot. Great characterization in this stand-alone SH thriller. Good writing, crafty, clever and delivered so as to be recieved by a wide array of readership.

hi Raymond,
As always you have delivered a rivetting experience, with so many interesting strands keeping the reader's interest. The story brims with multi-faceted characters set against a backdrop of American city-life in New York over a century ago. And while gangs are roaming the streets you lead us into different scenes, private as well as public, while thrilling us with delicate information, and even have us play Sherlock Holmes ourselves, when trying to unravel the snippets.

I like the cover, but feel that the title could benefit from a link to the image, i.e. Adam Doyle's Duchess, or similar, to entice someone in passing to stop and pick it up. At the moment the title is stark, and lacks excitement, while the story itself has capricious elements and kept my interest all the way through chap1. The hook at the end is such, that I cannot help but read on. (I found the scene numbering helpful when orientating myself.) The plot is well-crafted, and the pace seems just right when following the diverse happenings.

The language is exquisite, and descriptions are detailed. In Central Park I would have liked to smell a couple of things, while the squirrell is a clever stroke and leads away nicely. Every character has their own agenda, all lively and believable, while the change in POV is smoothly carried out.
Claire seems a luscious dame, and the stolen/replaced jewellery made me be 100% on her side. How awful to find her prized possessions turn out as glass-fakes!!!! You're weaving a tangled tale, with Karl being a right sleeze-ball. And some of the others are not much better, while you always manage to place them in the box where they belong. A colourful lot, definitely.
One of my favourite bits of dry humour was Frau Breit and 'die Ohrfeige'. In one sentence the whole scene comes alive with just a few words, brilliant. This shows special skill, and is an example of the way the characters are shown as non-stereotype. Difficult when you've got a perfect template in Sherlock Holmes to work to. I think you've pulled it off. Backed. Will read more.

Adam Doyle is a well researched piece. The first scene set in 1889 in New York City finds Adam restless, unable to sleep. Excellent scenes of a fire and ‘raining’ bodies, and Adam races off to find answers. I think this is extremely well written and grips the reader from the start. But he finds Johnny Curtain on the streets, doing what he does best—enjoying the nightlife and lying through his teeth. The characters are believable, instantly likeable or hate-able, and the voice is distinctive of the period. In scene three, Holmes is feeling sick and desperate to keep himself out of the limelight. He is on holiday. This alone gives a visual of the man that we usually ‘see’ in tweeds. But we all know it won’t be long before Sherlock Holmes is involved in a case. How could such an important character be on holiday and not invited to solve such a case as this? The dialogue all the way through is pertinent to the time—I can easily hear it. Watson’s suggestion of a holiday in the Americas and his comment about ‘no crime to involve you’ cracked me up. Claire Wertheimer, married to an effeminate fop (nice use of the language), is an interesting character. Her jewels are remarkable enough to attract the interest of thieves and she trips down to Tiffany’s where she is known by Solomon Breslov. This is a great scene which gets the heart pounding because somehow we know something is wrong. The pace increases and we find out her jewelry has been tampered with. This is not one of the Barker Street irregulars, or the footprints of a gigantic hound, or Watson you idiot someone’s stolen our tent, no, this is a curioser incident (is there such a word?) and I thoroughly enjoyed it. By Jove, it’s a cracking piece! Claire ~ Chasing Pharaohs.

Had a look through this and though some of the comments appear negative it looks like you had a good time writing this and it reminds me of the "The Alienist" for its period setting. But if you will forgive me it does appear like a "Yank's " view of the Great British 'tec and that's where the problems lie. Watson should be with him from the start also as Holmes is just not Holmes without Watson doddering about. Still, its pretty well done and there is a feeling of real love of the subject and that shines through. There is enough pretentious twaddle on this site as it is and at least you have written from the heart, which is for me, the best way. Starred, regards, Mark

Raymond: do apologize for this spam comment but I did BACK your book. Though my book is currently on the Ed's Desk, I can still use your comments on my book before the end of this month. Thanks - cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

you have taken on a large task here. l don't if you thought of using the diary style of watson in the originals? maybe it was best not to do that. you write well and your own style works...it could have been a disaster if it didn't- you have done very well...on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

I am sorry to disagree with the other comments but, having centered much of my degree and part of a doctoral thesis on crime fiction and Doyle in particular, I would have to say that beyond the name there is not much in the way of Holmesian facade here. I have studied all four of the Holmes books and all of the Strand short stories, in detail and repeatedly. I have also studied all of Doyle's other works, including his Lost World stories and the wider theses and commentaries he made on the possible existence of Fairies, Ghosts and paranormal activity.

The narrative you have penned is a fine one and the dialogue apposite to the times. I know nothing much of American history so there you have probably got it spot on, as far as I can say.

The officer of the New York police department is solid and a useful foil for a Holmes character and teh events that you have set forth make for the openings of a damned good crime thriller. Your style and structure is interesting and replete with detail and dialogue to carry the narrative wonderfully for any good reader.

As far as Holmes; he was never seen to use a Meerschaum pipe, he used cherrywood in the main, retreiving his tobacca from the toe of an Indian slipper; the Meerschaum came about as a result of the stage actor, William Gillette, who wanted his hands free and found the Meerschaum as a useful way to do this, also the huge bulb was more visible to those in the cheap seats.

Flavour of the times, definately. Well written and thoroughly enjoyable? Yes. Flavour of the Holmesian character and storyline? No. Sorry to disappoint.


he never wore a deerstalker, that came out of a drawing by Sidney Paget (often whom disappointed Doyle) who illustrated 537 frames for Doyle's Strand magazine stories and later his books. Also the profile of Holmes was largely taken as self portrait of Paget himself.

Holme never said 'elementary my dear Watson' (it came about as a result of Basil Rathbone's somewhat spurious improvisation; similarly 'the game is afoot' et al.

ADAM DOYLE
This is an interesting story. I haven’t read a Sherlock Holmes mystery in years but from what I remember you’ve effectively captured the flavor of his mysteries. Transporting him to New York gave the story an updated look. I really have no idea, but is an author allowed to “adopt” a character like Sherlock Holmes and write a story about him this way? Rather than create an original master detective? Either way, I’m happy to add this to my shelf. If you have a moment, would you look at mine (Grain of Salt)? I’m in 4th place but only holding on by my teeth. Burgio

Hi Raymond, Although I’ve mostly followed Sherlock Holmes in film, I love jewelry and painting mysteries. The introduction to Adam is humorous while the landscape of that side of New York gave good atmosphere. The language also convinced of the time. One sentence confused: “Looking back that running was an aspect….” The fire was well-executed except it seemed that he left the painting in it? Liked how Sherlock was being written about and real at the same time – and I found him convincing too. It feels vivid and an entertaining addition to that genre. Easily shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Hello RAymond and just loved your classic book cover, loved it. Definitely would pick this up. then the short pitch, and I thought Ahhhh Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is back from the dead? answer no. I would have liked to see or is he????? after this statement. anyways your long pitch made up for this as it is very well crafted and I am going to carry on reading to see if this lives up to it all . I have a feeling it will BEST of luck

Denise
The Letter

Adam Doyle

Raymond Terry

A pleasure placing this on my shelf Raymond - this new adventure of Sherlock Holmes. Conan Doyle used to be a favourite of mine in my younger days - loved Hound of the Baskervilles and you make me want to go look for it among my treasures of books to have another read! I remember too using, quite freely I might add, "Elementary, my dear Watson" and feeling very prood of myself when I thought a friend or sibling was being daft! Oh, the vanities of youth. Thanks for those memories!! After reading The Second Coming of Walter Clements, I am sure this will be a good one too Raymond. However, I don't want to zip through with lightning speed merely a few paragraphs as this will not do your book justice, so I'll put off reading and commenting at length for now until I have more time to spare on your writing. I like how you write of course based on my reading of Walter Clements, so I am looking forward with bated breath to coming back to read this one as well.
Best wishes,
Zan

Your use of short paragraphs and crisp dialogue keeps the pace of your story flowing well. You have done a good job in capturing the essence of not only the time period and of this genre as well. Your character development of Jonny and Adam is excellent and you have a nice descriptive writng style. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

I am no Sherlock Holmes expert, but I think you've captured the flavor very well. Whether it emulates the original properly for afficionados or not, I think you have a wonderful style and I wish you well with this. It promises to be a great story.

Hi Raymond,

difficult to do but I think you have pulled it off. Arthur CD will be well pleased, if he is logged on the celestial Authonomy page.
Backed with pleasure.

Phil
Danny Murphy.

Dear Raymond (emissary of Sherlock Holmes in the present :), I love your new story - it's wonderful - in New York, now less - with Watson, of course - & in play form. :) How about writing another one? :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :)
Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"...authonomy quote.
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs.
backed :)
Love, Susie :)