The Nazi Conspiracy

Hooked from the minute I saw the title= you now have a new fan. Perfect.

I love the chatty, confiding first person narrative of this which makes Caleb friendly and attractive. He's intelligent and makes a good MC but not fulfilling his promise which makes him one of us or so we like to think.
There's an ironic tone and the dialogue is excellent. It's a fascinating read. But let's be honest - given the title and pitch I don't think it could possibly fail. Hope not. Backed. Lynn

Hi Scott
Wow, this one is good too! I wasn't sure if it would be a bit far fetched at first, but you've managed to make an adventurous plot very credible. You've obviously done some good research as well as working hard on the writing itself. Fantastic stuff.
DP Walker
Five Dares

You have created a most interesting and compelling plot and I really like the way you tie in important historical events - The Cuban Missle Crisis and Kennedy's assassination. I also like your use of the first person narrative as it helps to keep the pace of your book flowing nicely. You did an excellent job in developing Caleb's character and your descriptive writing makes your story a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Hi Scott I have your book on my WL and space on my shelf if you would like to do a swap and put my book on your shelf "The Royal Navy & Me"

HI Scott,

This is terrific. I love "what if" kinds of books. (Check out Philip Roth's The Plot Against America if you haven't already read it.) You had me from the get-go, and your pitch is really well-done too. I think this is eminently publishable.

A few small points re: editing. Check out your word choices - some of them aren't quite right: multitude of art work, wearily when I'm pretty sure you meant warily, disinterested for uninterested. Also the secretary "lounged lazily" - is redundant, as lounging is a lazy behavior. A smart writing teacher once advised to avoid adverbs as much as possible - instead, describe the action. So I think you just need to go back and do a little housekeeping. Also, small point - would Barbara really kiss George in front of a stranger?

You've got a winner here. Highly starred and watch listed for now.

And I do hope you'll check out Animal Cracker and consider it for your shelf. If you're the dog lover you appear to be (what a cute pooch), I think you'll love it.

All best,
Andi Brown
Animal Cracker

Fascinating writing! Congratulations and my very best wishes. Jedward (French Roast and Lingerie)
http://www.jedoliver.embarqspace.com/

The Nazi Conspiracy.
I've just completed a reread of your most recent draft. Caleb is a likeable MC who's overwhelmed by events. One moment he's got a boring job and then "John Smith" walks through the door. Suddenly Caleb's in a lot more danger than he ever thought possible. The way he's amazed and hardly believes what is happening, makes it more credible to us, because Caleb's reaction seems reasonable and I think most of us would have reacted in a similar way.
I was feeling very uneasy when Caleb met the President; I wasn't at all sure President Bush was being straight with him, even though he was friendly. Nothing was put in writing and he wouldn't tell Caleb where or why he was being sent so secretly and so quickly. And why was Caleb chosen to go? Hadn't they got someone who was trained? It felt very suspicious to me. Was it because Caleb's young, fresh out of college, well-meaning and perhaps easily duped? The President had even got him fired from his job! Politics is a very dirty game, but if I was Caleb, I wouldn't have voted for him at the next election!
It feels more ominous when Caleb meets Sully and Sully realises Caleb knows nothing, can't speak Spanish and has had no training or preparation. The task (whatever it is) is clearly going to be a lot more dangerous than Pres. Bush had let on and Caleb wants to back out of it. He's restrained by Sully, so he's forced to go on.
As soon as we meet The Committee, the action moves into top gear and rarely slows down, as Caleb has to grow up very quickly. He makes mistakes and is very scared, but he's a quick learner and begins to fit in with the rest of the team . Moving from Castro's mansion to Saddam's palace in Iraq, you weave historical facts such as the Cuban Missile Crisis, with intriguing possibilities of what might have happened. Cleverly, you join Hitler and Nazi gold with Castro, South Africa and Saddam Hussein!
There's also betrayal and many tense moments, but I thought we had finished meeting "famous" personalities, until Caleb and his team meet another notorious character as they chase after the gold. Nice one!
The meeting in the middle of the deserted border town between Mickey and the Hamas group, with Caleb and his team as captives of the third group, is especially tense. When the shots are fired by the unknown gunman , it feels almost like an old western as the men are picked off. Very atmospheric.
Like the way you brought Kuwait into the adventure and the reasons for the start of the first Gulf War!
Enjoyable thriller, with a few mind games to ponder, as well as historical what ifs and some theology too. Yes, the ideas about Hitler are far-fetched, but for the purposes of the story you make them feel credible and convincing. Your characters feel well-rounded too and I was willing Caleb on to find the gold and get back to Katie safely.
There are just a few nit picks that I noticed (not many) and I'll send them to you in a separate email.
Many thanks for a fun read.
Cherry G.
The Girl From Ithaca

As someone previously commented, the title grabbed me instantly. Someone else commented that it was a little bland, which i have to disagree with. It's just the sort of title that is attention-grabbing for anyone and everyone who is a fan of reading this type of novel, indeed to anyone and everyone i should imagine.

I've read the first three chapters so far. Just a couple of things i felt were a minus. Chapter One starts by plunging the reader almost straight into what is happening, within the first couple of paragraphs. Although that is great to capture the reader immediately, i felt it was more like a few pages in rather than a few paragraphs because nothing was established. The other thing was when Caleb leaves the White House after meeting with the President and sees his car but doesn't know it's his car immediately, i felt that it wasn't quite a natural reaction. Maybe that's being a little picky.

Anyway, i think you've certainly got something here. When i've read more i'll rate and everything else. You might want to have a read of my novel, 'Chameleon', only three chapters at the moment. All the best, Chris.

Jack Higgins made a fortune out of stuff like this, so no reason why you can't either! This is fun to read and must have been fun to write. Is the title a working one? A bit bland; maybe needs worked on to jump out at you. Starred. Regards, Mark.

A taut, exciting thriller that resets the players on the world's stage. Well done.

I thought this was a fun read, an innocent on a journey he has no idea where it's going or why he's actually there. I took the chapters I read as tongue-in-cheek with an over the top premise. Loved some of your descriptions such as "looked like a fullback forced to wear nice suit for a fancy party" and description of the places he's landed. Back story with Hoover's group the committee was well laid out. I recognize real historic events here that lend to some reality.

Your main character has a nice voice. Pay attention to what others have noticed about grammar.

I was drawn in by your cover and title. Have done a lot of research on WW II. This a playful what if?

Well done Scott another cleverly crafted novel I read Framed and now Nazi Conspiracy. You have proved you are not a one hit wonder but a force to be reconed with. You have an elegant and easy writing style and bring us into the deapth of your story with very little effort. Once you have this published I'm going to buy it for my husband.
Sue mackender
KNOWING LIAM RILEY - I hope you can spare a moment to take a peek

Hi Scott,

I really enjoyed the beginning and the way Caleb gets the job offer. The idea that Hitler survived is not a new one, but you've given it a new twist. My only criticism is that a little more action and a little less talking would move the story on a bit faster - I needed the explanations quick so I could move on to the action. But it's only a small quibble. Backed with pleasure.

Ali
The Fireghost

Talented writing with an intriguing storyline makes this easy to back!

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

Hi Scott,
In appreciation of your work as Stampman Orphans tabulator, I thought I'd review your book. Since I've already reviewed and backed Framed, I read what you've posted of The Nazi Conspiracy. These are my thoughts.

Caleb makes a great narrator. He has the persona of an Iowa rube--perhaps the reason he was picked for the mission was Bush's misconception that he would be easy to fool--and as such he allows you to explain things to the reader when his naive nature must take time to mull over and come to terms with each twist in this convoluted political plot. His inexperience also allows you to interject humor into the story, as in the scene where he must parachute into Iraq, and his youth allows you to explain to your younger readers some of the historical events you so skillfully weave into the conspiracy.

I'm uncertain yet how much of this conspiracy will turn out to be real--it sounds rather far-fetched, and as I conclude chapter 19, I suspect you may be heading in the direction of Bush playing The Committee for fools in order to launch his Gulf Invasion--like father, like son? No WMDs, no NAZI's, no gold. Too bad, too late.

Some of my favorite parts were: The tunnels beneath Ames to preserve military secrets--every university seems to have these, and they are always intriguing; the clues the reader can try to unravel as (s)he goes--the lucky numbers, the rhymes, etc.; the descriptions of Baghdad; Sully's "Don't worry about it"s--sorry to see him pass.

Some concerns: Has Bush Junior ruined the market for the book? It might be hard to relate to a conspiracy involving Iraq after what we did and didn't find and do there in the last invasion. When did you write this? Just after The Gulf War, or were you prescient in that regard?

Anyway, the story was carefully crafted and really held my attention. It took an ominous turn with the "A" found by Sully's body and the move toward Kuwait. My curiosity is still piqued. Shelved for certain.
Niobrara Kardnova (Family Irregulars)

Very interesting read so far. Hooked.
Brynn

You've given us a tense thriller with edgy characters and vivid settings. Smooth dialogue. Confident narrative. Razor sharp writing. Backed.

THE NAZI CONSPIRACY
I'm thinking Caleb might be losely based on yourself? The name Scott, the scientific, logical approach to working out problems and did you go to the same university? Mind you, I'm not so sure you were suddenly ushered away from a mundane, boring job to meet the President of the United States!
All very mysterios and the hapless Caleb is as confused as the reader. Feeling overwhelmed, he walks with President Bush in the White House gardens. His reaction feels realistic, he is too dumbfounded and shocked to do anything but go along with it all, hardly able to believe it is happening.
I enjoyed the description of the White House (having never been there!) and George Bush Senior eating a meal with wife, Barbara. The secret service men felt appropriately sinister. Caleb struggles to take in what Bush revealsand still can't understand where he comes in. I'm thinking the same thing. What has Caleb to do with Hitler's double, the truth behind the Cuban Missile Crisis and the shooting of JF Kennedy?
When Bush asks Caleb to do something for him, I've got severe misgivings. Caleb isn't too happy either, but how do you say no to a president? This task of "snooping." Hmmmm ...very vague. Bush isn't telling him much, won't put anything in writing and gives him no chance to think about it. Is Caleb to be used as a scapegoat, to get the blame for something that the US doesn't want to be linked to if it goes wrong?
With no history of working for secret service, his sudden walk out of his job, an unaccounted for wad of money in his bank account, no chance to talk to friends (though luckily he does sneak in a quick call to his girlfriend) and his distinctive car abandoned at the airport carpark...it looks like the President's men have made sure Caleb's departure (on a fake passport) will appear suspicious if investigated. If he fails in whatever task he is being asked to perform, will Bush deny all knowledge of him?
With no chance to back out or collect his clothes, Caleb is whisked away through the airport and meets the mysterious Sully. Still with no idea of where he is going or what he has to do, Sully and Caleb travel to Mexico and then go on to Cuba, posing as Mexicans. Sully quickly briefs him on the word play codewords and the elite group called The Committee. This all sounds a lot more dangerous and demanding than George Bush implied and in a state of panic, Caleb thinks of making a run for it, but is stopped by Sully. He has no choice. He's trapped in whatever scheme the president has concoted. It is feeling more sinister all the time (and Hangar 13 wasn't a good omen!)
Suddenly he finds he's a member of the Committee and meets Tank and the others. With hardly time to take a breath, he's on a mission to find information in Castro's old home.
I'm sure there's more to the Committee than is revealed at first and Caleb doesn't really trust Sully and his team, but he's in a foreign country with a false passport and Cuba isn't well disposed to Americans. He'll have to stick with them and try his best with this first misssion.
Intriguing, sinister and full of interesting twists to history, this makes a promising thriller. Caleb is a likeable MC, with a friendly and appealing voice. He's intelligent and interested in learning, but he's not arrogant or conceited. He's an ordinary guy stuck in an extraordinary situation. You've planned this well.
A few minor nits:
Chapter One: When the agent reveals his name as "John Smith" , Caleb thinks " ...I seriously doubted that was his real name. It seemed a bit too...ordinary." Do you need to add this? I think the reader will get the implication.
"just" you use this word frequently and most of the time I think sentence would be more effective without it. Eg. "I [just] shrugged.." and " I could ['just] imagine the rumours.." "I gave up and [just] enjoyed the scenery..."

Chapter Two:
"He waived Agent Smith away.." waived should be waved.
When you write "lit on fire" it seems a bit strange, but maybe only because I'm a Brit. Should it be "set on fire" or perhaps "lit the fire"?
Caleb reveals where he went to university twice (in Chapter 1 and then in Chapter 2) Maybe one removed?
Sometimes you write hangar and sometimes hanger.
There's a repeat of the ringing Katie paragraph ..at end of Chapter 2 and then at end of Chapter 3.
I think there's a bit more editting needed yet but it's an exciting story which is fast paced and full of intrigue. BACKED.
Cherry

Hi Scott,
Very interesting work - I kind of felt all along that Hitler must have a double and that he loved life too much to die...so your story spins a web of intrigue based on information that is yet to be verified; did Hitler live at all? That has been an everlasting question, sought many times over and yet with nothing ever resolved unlike the one that dwelled with Eichmann. You certainly picked on an intriguing idea and wove a yarn of intrigue - very nice!

The Nazi Conspiracy is written well with a beat that blends nicely for a thriller read.

Shelved!

Romilla
Forgetting Sally

Scott
This revolves round a highly improbable conspiracy but is well-written and has a clear storyline, both of which make for easy reading. Backed.
Regards
William.

A metal polisher turning secret agent? Highly improbable yet enjoyable. Deserves backing.

Iva P.
Fame and Infamy

Although I found the dialogue a little - just a little - stilted at times, the rest of your writing is very good and flows well. I do like the premise of this story and you forced me to read a second chapter (see my profile) - so that has to be a good thing.
Katy Christie
No Man No Cry

Hooked from the moment I read the pitch. Good luck!
Backed with pleasure!!

Melissa Nielsen
The Guardian and the Book of Souls

great pitch backed your book

Why not begin with the dialogue instead and then fill the reader in on the other details as the narrative progresses...I think it would be more attention-grabbing that way...just my opinion. A few issues with grammar but nothing to detract from a good story...well done!
Cheers
Stewart

BTW: did SMERSH actually exist or did Fleming make it up?

It did actually exist. Fleming took a real group and fictionalized it.

The Nazi Conspiracy.

Crafty plotting, and strong, yet understated narration. Irony in the subterranean text makes the reader complicit in an off-take on everything from conspiracy writing to politics to bureaucratic and technocratic bumbling. President Bush’s unsuitability comes into focus without a single opinion by the narrator.

The dialogues are appropriate.The choice of first person narration by an average guy with tongue-in-cheek wit getting sucked into a high stakes game reveals thoughtful craftsmanship.

Descriptions of locale do not shift focus from the flow of the story.

When you have a minute to spare, you might want to take a look at some of the punctuation.

BTW: did SMERSH actually exist or did Fleming make it up?

Backed with pleasure, and thank you for a delightful read.

Azam Gill
“Blasphemy!”

what a horrible, and a fascinating one. after a time on my watchlist l will back...
read SEASONS...

Stampman Review

From a style point of view this is written well, reads well, is fast paced and flows, apart from the spattering of obvious typos (Ch. 2 "What am I HEAR for..." etc).

Caleb makes an attractive MC: detached, ironic intelligent, but if he is so intelligent why does he go through with all this malarkey? Which leads me on to the crunch point, as far as I am concerned.....

I would be lying if I said I have read all of it, but I have read quite a few chapters and skim-read quite a few of the others, and I am still not certain what I am reading. It is either a serious thriller with a preposterous premise or a glorious piss-take full of irony. It could well be that I am suffering from a surfeit of authonomy this evening, but I'm still not sure which this is. Personally, I would respect it more if it was the latter, but other readers don't seem to take this viewpoint, so it may be just me: I confess that I am not a natural thriller reader.

J.S.Watts
A DARKER MOON

thoroughly enjoying your book at present. Please check 'the compulsive traveller' a real life tale of travel, drama, surprises and humour. Thanks Mike Thonger

Hi Scott,

I have backed your book because I was hooked by the pitch, loved the introduction and read on. Love a good thriller and this fits the bill.

How much more I read depends on time and commitment.

Enjoy everything and good luck.

Rusty Bernard
Psychiatric Evaluation

Fine pitch and hellishly imaginative idea. First person narrative is quite daunting to me but the colloquial style of your protagonist and the happy-go-lucky frame of mind he has carries it well.

Excellent point made. Who actually knows what secret service id looks like, for that matter the FBI, CIA or even those cheeky chappies at car parks!

I'm not sure I would get involed, even for $100,000. And further more, pilots with no last name would shake me to the ground!

The thought of meeting George Bush would make me laugh; would he actually gibber or would he just sit in the corner on an old tyre, scratching himself?

You have a very involved plot and although I am not great with American history (or just history in general, in fact last night's kind of fuzzy, come to think of it) but I have a hunch you have done your research well; it certainly comes over that way.

BACKED. You have a promising plot, an easy writing style and a subtle sense of humour. I think you will do well here. God luck. Cheers.

Hi Scott

Great snappy crunchy writing, with a humorous style and a sympathetic main character. And of course it's a great premise. I likes it! Backed.

Nicole (Chosen)

Interesting writing it from a 1st person perspective. I find that almost impossible although when it works it works well.
I wasn't particularly drawn in by your hero although I did like the funnies. I think, and please remember that my opinion is only that, that he could do with a little more development to give a more well rounded view of him. Obviously speaking through him in the first person allows you the opportunity to define him using his own words and actions but that was possibly a little too subtle for me.
Worth backing and worth a watchlist and a return visit when I have more time.

All the best and good luck with it,

Ian

Thanks. I just wish Authonomy would approve it... :(

Apparently my complaining worked! Or something did anyway. The cover appears!

What a brilliant pitch. The prose didn't disappoint either. Nice use of first person and an excellent pace make this a very engaging read indeed. You write so effortlessly and it is eminently accessible. Just a cracking read and I would see no punctuation/grammar issues in the three chapters I read.
backed
Carl
The Time hunters
x

Hi Scott! I love your new cover!

Thanks. I just wish Authonomy would approve it... :(

I'm not really into the whole espionage/secret service thing...publishers and Hollywood had flogged this one to death!
Good luck
Stewart
PS: Return backing please

An intriguing story to say the least and very good.
Noticed one error ch.2 Par.3 .........and we had toured "the White House".:- missing capital 'T'.
This is great stuff, well written with excellent characters. Should do nicely in the book shop's.
Certainly back it.SHELVED.

regard's,

Neville (The Secrets Of The Forest) pleased if you could take a look.

You have created a most interesting and compelling plot and I really like the way you tie in important historical events - The Cuban Missle Crisis and Kennedy's assassination. I also like your use of the first person narrative as it helps to keep the pace of your book flowing nicely. You did an excellent job in developing Caleb's character and your descriptive writing makes your story a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Hooked from the minute I saw the title= you now have a new fan. Perfect.

Hi Scott
Wow, this one is good too! I wasn't sure if it would be a bit far fetched at first, but you've managed to make an adventurous plot very credible. You've obviously done some good research as well as working hard on the writing itself. Fantastic stuff.
DP Walker
Five Dares

Backed.

I love conspiracy theories and this one is so classic. Yeah, what if Hitler didn't really commit suicide and escaped? I agree with Lynn, I like the first-person narrative since it gets us into the head of Caleb immediately and pulls us along. "Sir, you'll need to come with us," and so we go. You set the time period well. I like the cute touch of having Bush 41 and Barbara eating lunch in the Oval Office. So, Hitler died during the Cuban Missile Crisis? I love the conspiracy that the crisis was a ruse set up by both the Soviets and the Americans to capture Hitler. "True, but sometimes deception is necessary." Ah, so Evan, Hitler's son, was able to pull the strings after Hitler got knocked off by the Americans in 1962. I have a lot of questions and want to know why Caleb is contacted to join in the Committee. Does he look like Evan? Once the World Cup is not so prevalent, I'll be back to read more. Backed for now.

I love the chatty, confiding first person narrative of this which makes Caleb friendly and attractive. He's intelligent and makes a good MC but not fulfilling his promise which makes him one of us or so we like to think.
There's an ironic tone and the dialogue is excellent. It's a fascinating read. But let's be honest - given the title and pitch I don't think it could possibly fail. Hope not. Backed. Lynn

Hi Scott, A different type of Novel based on a dictator. The mystery surrounding the basement wall and the killing of Sully makes a mysterious plot. I like it and I BACKyour book. Harold Alvin(ICON)Wesley

it’s a preposterous notion

Yes, it certainly is. But that's what made it fun to write... :)

Only nit is where he says that his picture was taken the day before, when in fact it should have been taken a short time earlier.

Good catch, Pollux. Thanks! In an earlier draft, I had him leaving the next day, but decided to speed up the timeline.

- Scott

Well, it’s a preposterous notion, but it got me through the first four chapters in no time – well written. Only nit is where he says that his picture was taken the day before, when in fact it should have been taken a short time earlier. Anyway, good luck.

Pollux

Hi Scott, I read two chapters and enjoyed them. Agent Smith is quite a shock as he informs Caleb that GW wants a word with him. And what a word. Eva and Adolf not dead, or not at that time anyway -- but assassinated in Cuba after the soviets and USA combine efforts to kill him. Castro killing Kennedy in revenge for killing Hitler. This is great alternative history and a real hook to read more.
One thought was that i still don't know why caleb was chosen for the job.
Backed with pleasure,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

The one thing I would query is your use of 'SMERSH.'

SMERSH is actually a real organisation that was also used in James Bond.

PS, I do hope you're getting a better book-cover ASAP.

I've uploaded a different cover, which was deemed unacceptable by Authonomy (probably because it had a swastika on an Iraqi flag), so I've uploaded another cover which I suppose is being processed still...

Thanks for your thoughts.

Impeccably written in 1st person, and a well thought out story. While not an expert, you appear to have done the research needed for background. The one thing I would query is your use of 'SMERSH.' I thought that was just a James Bond term, which if I'm right, might be questionable with regard to Copyright. (It could of course, be the real name of the organisation. I wouldn't know.) Action sequences later in the story are good. Backed with confidence. Marj.
PS, I do hope you're getting a better book-cover ASAP.

This reminds me of an Austin Powers movie, nice tongue in cheek humour. Backed.