Book Jacket

 

rank 2379
word count 29844
date submitted 25.06.2010
date updated 01.10.2010
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Romance, Religio...
classification: moderate
incomplete

King Solomon's '13' (Revised w/ New Chapter 1)

Sammy Sutton

Anthropologist PhD, Antonio Dominguez stumbles upon 3,000-year-old scrolls authored by King Solomon. The Scrolls unlock the Hidden Truths to saving Humanity from cataclysmic.

 

Antonio and Amanda's encounter with the ancient treasure submerges them in a deadly adventure spanning Science and Spirituality, bridging the gaps of Political and Cultural Truths throughout the History. Understanding forces them to face Personal Demons. Present issues of Race and Immigration come into focus as The Scrolls demand an evaluation of America's Purpose.

The Doctor and Mystic, race against the Doomsday Clock, eluding OPERA and their cyber-claws of Oppression. Opera's effort keeps the U.S. Economic Struggles at stake. The enemy’s Deadly Influence forces the Smoky Romance on a trek to scrutinize the Theories.

The upbeat Journey masters facts of the 2012 Disaster Scenario with the growth of Individual Strength through Struggle and Relationships. Our Heroes represent the essential Dichotomy of Science and Spirit in a perilous Conquest for Truth and the Monatomic State. They receive a unique glance through the window of Death.

Antonio and Amanda’s quest rattles with adversity, and action. Humor and instinct weaves them through the threads of a fast-paced labyrinth with the vigor of a 20’s and wisdom of a 40’s something.

 
rate the book

to rate this book please Register or Login

 

tags

2012, action, adventure, alchemy, ancient, anthropology, apocalypse, archaeology, awakening, biblical, biblical spiritual, christion, computers, consp...

on 23 watchlists

177 comments

 

To leave comments on this or any book please Register or Login

subscribe to comments for this book
Laurence Howard wrote 1366 days ago

Enthralled, entranced and engrossed. I have read all the chapters you have uploaded and eager to read more. I was gripped from the very beginning. I could almost experience Antonio's vision of Amanda and feel his longing to be with her. It was that incredible and skillful development of their relationship that had me hooked. The scientific and mystical aspect was intriguing and was written authoritatively. You know your subject very well. But the romance was captivating. Pure love ready to erupt into a passion that only you can portray and describe. The translation of the scrolls, the threat that their relationship will pose to OPERA and the bounds of Amanda's mystic knowledge are yet to unfold. This will be a best seller. I can feel it in my bones. There are many things to admire about your work but the sensitivity, craftmanship and imagination you use to show how the two main characters grow and evolve had me riveted to the screen. It's almost 1 o' clock and I'm exhausted but elated from having read your book. I know this will be a great success for you. Well done! Backed without hesitation.
Laurence Winchester, The Cross of Goa

Pia wrote 1194 days ago

Sammy, you're not active here, but you vote still counts. Please check my message to you. Thanks, Pia

scargirl wrote 1245 days ago

just using this opportunity to back good books again.
j

Eunice Attwood wrote 1258 days ago

I have backed you well written book previously, so have given you five stars. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

MadalineX wrote 1271 days ago

Before reading King Solomon’s ‘13’ I was unsure of how I would react to a yet another book about the end of the world. The thing that blew me away was that this book is not only a different perspective on ‘the end of the world’ but it isn’t even the main focus of the story. There is so much else going on that takes attention away and keeps the reader turning pages. One can’t help but want to read on simply to see what happens to Antonio and Amanda. Excellent read, obviously well researched, and brilliant storyline.
****I had read this book before the ‘revised chapter 1’ was added and I think it was exactly the introduction the story needed!

Jim Heter wrote 1290 days ago

Sammy, I just read your new Chapter 1. It answers all the questions I had earlier about the story. On that score, thanks for posting it! Unfortunately, I think it is too much for a prologue. It reads more like a story outline than a prophecy. As a reader, I'd now be reading more to find out how you are going to pull it off, rather than being drawn into the unfolding narrative. I think you are going to have to figure out a way to chop out about 90% of it, and leave just enough hints to set the scene and tantalize your readers without giving away so much of what is to come. Jim

mariahj24 wrote 1293 days ago

This is a unique and interesting read. Your plot seems to thicken with every sentence, keeping the reader actively involved. The writing flows well and makes you want to keep coming back for more. Very nice work you have here. Thank you for sharing it. Mariah

philip john wrote 1295 days ago

Very original in its premise. Very well written, too. No time to read more than the first few chapters right now but I have noted it as something to watch out for later.

Best wishes Philip John

mscynthia wrote 1299 days ago

Hi Sammy,

Your description of Antonio Dominguez finding the ancient scrolls was very effective. Everything about it, from the vision of the older man, to being left with a void after the disappearance of Amanda Messenger, were surreal.

This has all the makings of a grand adventure -- all surrounding the scrolls of King Solomon.

Just from the archeological standpoint of this novel- it's a very interesting read. Throw in the impending romance between Antonio and Amanda and it makes this even more intriguing. Shelved.

Cynthia
Sharing Short Stories

Meg1800s wrote 1309 days ago

Hi Sammy, thank you so much for backing "Daniel's Garden" ~ I appreciate it!

Love that you put me right in the middle of the action from the get-go. I like dialogue-heavy beginnings and this one is great. I'm instantly intriguied and want to know who these two guys are, since they're obviously watching Antonio. But from where? Why? Those are great questions and create page-turners so your reader wants to find out!

You've set up a great scene for a first chapter by introducing Antonio, his slight rebellion from his family, his love of adventure (symbolized by the car), his single status (foreshadowing he'll get a girl by the end of the book), and his friendship with Max.

The writing is good, a bit jerky and not quite making sense at times. Read your stuff aloud and fill in the textual gaps - shouldn't be too hard. You've already got a great foundation here.

Good luck with your story!

~ Meg, author of "Daniel's Garden"

lionel25 wrote 1310 days ago

Sammy, I liked the narrative and true-to-life dialogue in your opening chapter. This has the makings of a solid read.

Backed with pleasure.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Jim Heter wrote 1310 days ago

Sammy, I read it all, including most of the previous comments. You have a great story line and great characters. I mean, outstandingly so. I really like the idea of an anthropologist, who can encompass both scientific and spiritual viewpoints. But I think you need to fire your professional editor and take a hard look at your pacing. Some bits seem overdrawn, some are underdone. For example, Amanda's Jungian soul-searching began to feel more like it was coming from you than from her. On the other side, the idea that Solomon's scrolls might somehow have ended up in New Mexico suggests a cross between Sitchin and the Book of Mormon, whereas your reader might assume Antonio would be Catholic. Too obscure a notion to leave unjustified for so long. You want to draw your reader in and lead him forward, not distract and confuse him with apparent contradictions that make him question your premise, or on the other hand give too much explanation where it doesn't advance the plot. (Don't know how much you read of The Lamia, but I recognize both temptations and probably need to heed my own advice.) Also, you use a device of frequently alternating viewpoints. I think it works, but it interrupts the flow when the reader has to stop and figure out, okay, who are we now. I suppose it would be less literate to keep saying Antonio thought and Amanda thought, but I'll bet you are smart enough to spot where that is needed and do it more subtly. One more thing: your device of the spies in the sky is good in the way it adds to the tension, but I wonder at your making them sound like thugs. If they sounded smarter they might feel like a more serious threat. But then, this could all make good sense as the action unfolds. I hope this is helpful. Jim

RoyalT wrote 1316 days ago

Hi Sammy,
You have quite a writing style! The short sound bites keep the action going, maybe at times almost "jerky", though. I wonder if more details about what your protagonists are thinking and what they see around them might add more realism.

Your 200 word summary included suspense and intrigue, but I believe overdoes it. Too many statements like "Opera's effort keeps the U.S. Economic Struggles at stake." give me a feeling of incoherence, not being able to understand the message.

This kind of spirituality writing is something new for me.
Best wishes,
- Royal

StaKC wrote 1317 days ago

Great novel. Like your writing style, and your dialogue is wonderfully natural, something that isn't always easy. Your plot is interesting and your pacing keeps everything flowing and keeps a reader reading. Good luck.

Francene Stanley wrote 1319 days ago

The novel is well written, with no obvious digressions that will turn the reader away.

Intriguing. I don't know what's going on with the other voices of Berg and Verdi. Right, down to nitty gritties. The inciting incident is falling into the cavern and being contacted. Yet other things haven't been established. What does he want to accomplish? There is slight groundwork laide between him and his brother. Not sure about conflict. There's definately a shiver of impending unknown with the woman he loves and the wise man who needs help.

I'd start with 'At the summit. That's the inciting incident. You nearly lost me at the beginning. I almost turned away, but scrolled down to find anything that would interest me. Instantly, she left him incomplete. Do you need instantly? Sounds better without it.

lj reads wrote 1320 days ago

You certainly have a way of writing. Also, well researched. I wouldn't change a thing.

Herschel Shirley wrote 1324 days ago

Strange story but well written. Backed.

Sarah King wrote 1325 days ago

An exciting premise draws the reader in. You then follow with satifying action and dialogue from the start. An action adventure well told.

Suzalex wrote 1327 days ago

Nice work. Love the plot.
Should it be: must'a hit his head?
Thanks for the comment and backing.
Backing this one with pleasure.

Suz

toussaint wrote 1328 days ago

King Solomon’s 13

[return backing ☼☼☼☼☼]

This has all the elements: the mysterious scrolls which can save the earth, the visions in the cave and Amanda Messenger turning out to be his future poker opponent and the imminent love story. Factor in the mysterious surveillance and you have a multidimensional thriller on your hands. Be careful of continuity nits, however. Antonio falls into a cave at the summit of a volcano and survives a fall to the very bottom. Later we are told it is only 15 feet. Then he seems to have conveniently packed a backpack with a rope and flashlight in it. Both appear to come from nowhere in the actual narrative. It is also suspending disbelief a bit far to have an ancient Hebrew settlement in the USA but, yet, the story has to come from somewhere, why not! The opening with the car purchase stands a bit at odds with the rest. Maybe it could be reconsidered. Nothing wrong with having something extraneous to the main storyline to carry the reader through the first few paragraphs, but it could have more oomph. Maybe some hint of difficulties back at the university troubling him? Taking a jaunt to take his mind off things? That would at least introduce some backstory whilst driving the reader through the first few pages. As it stands the opening looks like it’s a story about a car, not the mysterious scrolls he eventually finds.

Well written and well paced, good storyline. Backed. Apologies for taking so long to respond.

Jake Rowan wrote 1331 days ago

I found the first chapter a little confusing, though on re-reading, I now get it. For me the scene lacked suspense, he drove to a mountain, fell down a cave, had some visions and found some scrolls. I think you need to work on making the scene more exciting and suspenseful as I don't feel compelled to continue. Interesting premise.

sjwilling wrote 1331 days ago

Interesting, fascinating and confusing. Ugh, I've been up way to long to read stuff like this. I'll pop back later when I can think more clearly. At the moment all the sudden scene changes are losing me. I need coffee lol

S.J.

Duncan Watt wrote 1333 days ago

Hi Sammy ...

An original piece of work. Good solid writing with a strong plot. Good characters that interact well together. 'Backed'. Regards ... Duncan.

Lulubanks wrote 1334 days ago

Absorbing...this is absolutely gripping...

wespollet wrote 1337 days ago

Hi Sammy, Its a bangup job on your revision. I like it and I back it. Harold Alvin(ICON)Wesley

flower girl wrote 1342 days ago

Well researched, tightly written, captivating from the start. Backed.

Lucy Heath wrote 1348 days ago

Hi Sammy,
Very tightly written and shaping up to be a great adventure. Backed.
Lucy

meemers wrote 1348 days ago

Awesome and backed! This is going on my keepers list which is getting longer every day. I am so impressed with all the great work on this site.

all the best
Sue
Fate's Chastening

Frank James wrote 1349 days ago

To Sammy Sutton

I've read most of what you posted nd it's obvious you have burnt the midnight oil in researching. Well done, I've no problem backing it.

To Sammy Sutton (King Soloman's '13' Revisited.

Bobbee wrote 1351 days ago

Hi Sammy,

I liked your premise and your characters. One small thing, I thought that the constant use of the word "Baby" was out of character for the Prof. ,and found it grating. (not just being sexist). Shelved.
Bobbee
Kali's Daughters

alison woodward wrote 1351 days ago

wow this is good, the writting and the characters are great, a job well done, backed

alison

caribe wrote 1352 days ago

Well done -- an imaginative tale with engaging characters. It's obvious you had fun writing it.

jennrose77 wrote 1352 days ago

I am enjoying your story and will back it... One quick comment... You have a tendency to slip into the passive. You can make things more powerful by removing some of your 'were's' and 'was's'

a few examples.....
'Antonio was swimming' becomes 'Antonio swam'
'his thoughts were racing' becomes 'his thoughts raced'
'he was now trembling' becomes 'he now trembled'

Cheers and good luck, Jennifer

Stephanie225 wrote 1354 days ago

I read the first part of Chapter 1.
I thought it was an interesting beginning-Curious about the scrolls, the cave vision, and why men are tailing him.
Some parts seem tangential right now and could wait until later so your story moves a little faster. (ie the father, the poker talk, you could also spend less time comparing him to his brother.)
Some other nitpicks:
“Is that right?” (regarding the onstar call back) Maybe is that so?
Antonio found intrigued in the …..Antonio was intrigued, Antonio felt intrigued
Found in exodus, the Chapter 20 version (maybe a dash?)
He decided to call Jose later to brag… Maybe- He couldn’t resist bragging to his brother when he had ordered it.
Pay associated with poker? Or he made enough to afford to play high-stakes poker, etc.
Max was a terrific guy, but often annoying making him a real pain at times.-could be phrased better.
Waking from his trance…best way to describe his ride?
Without words, her feelings revealed to him (grammar or phrasing issue)
The moment left him believing, he was incomplete without her (no comma needed)

Miss Wells wrote 1354 days ago

An impressive depth of conception to this - a vigorous intelligence and an imagination pulsing with vitality are clearly at work. Prose is lean and crisp with nice lyrical flourishes. Antonio quickly comes alive as a character. Old stones that still have a song to sing is a compelling theme. There’s the sense that the working concept of time as a linear event will be turned on its head. Novels about any kind of haunting are generally fascinating and this looks like a good ‘un. Impressed with the research that's obviously gone into it too.

Miss Wells wrote 1354 days ago

An impressive depth of conception to this - a vigorous intelligence and an imagination pulsing with vitality are clearly at work. Prose is lean and crisp with nice lyrical flourishes. Antonio quickly comes alive as a character. Old stones that still have a song to sing is a compelling theme. There’s the sense that the working concept of time as a linear event will be turned on its head. Novels about any kind of haunting are generally fascinating and this looks like a good ‘un. Impressed with the research that's obviously gone into it too.

Eileen Kay wrote 1354 days ago

Good pace. Nice thriller feel, right away. Clear crisp writing style, no fat, nice and lean.

The description of him, his dad and brother effectively sets up the notion that meeting a woman may throw him totally off-balance, which will be fun to watch.

Comparisons to Indian Jones spring to mind, i.e. it’s a thriller with a sense of wit, and the potential for mysticism and magic and fantasy. (Was Indiana Jones after something to do with the 10 commandants, too? If so, I hope you planted some pastiche satire along the way, or some little hints of homage, at least an in-joke?)

It’s good to know he and Amanda are destined. They can both be as reluctant as they like, while we readers enjoy wondering just exactly how they get together.

Small question - I may have read this too quickly – I thought Maria was a maid or cleaner or housekeeper, so why does he kiss her cheek? Is she his partner? If I missed this, sorry, but that threw me off momentarily. If she is the motherly housekeeper, I somehow missed that, or her age, or something. Could be me.

But, you have a great set-up first chapter. Well done.
Best wishes and have a backing, from
Eileen Kardos
(The Noodle Trail)

Eileen Kay wrote 1355 days ago

Hi there, I have a few spare minutes and read your pitch (will get the first chapter in dues course...) i like the ingredients, to be sure, even though i don’t usually read stuff like this.
I do not know if you want comments, but I think I’d take the first two paragraphs of the pitch and combine them into one, as some of the info is repeated. For example, Question: does “saving us” mean... saving the planet? The species? These characters? Aha, it’s answered in the second paragraph. I’d condense all that, and then you have some room for some other element, if you want.
Great name, Amanda Messanger! I like her already.
So, i hope to return.....
Best wishes from
Eileen Kardos
(The Noodle Trail)

A.M. Alexander wrote 1356 days ago

Oh, By the way - BACKED! This is the coolest book in decades

A.M. Alexander wrote 1356 days ago

I love this story! I was hooked within a few pages. It's so controversial and has excellent roots parallel to science fiction, in that all this stuff exists in the world around us. Excellent research and a very unique style that kept me turning the pages.
I can't wait to read more! It's eye opening, an epic adventure to say the least.

Linda Lou wrote 1356 days ago

Hullo Sammy. quick observation, 'lie scattered thoughtout the landscape', lie should be past tense; laid. 'her ass was his' , gee this comment seems so out of place and doesn't seem at all like what your MC/PhD would say. otherwise this is enticing connection between the historical findings already made and those yet to be found. Very good. Already shelved and backed.
Please take a look at my book if you have not and thanks for that.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

John Connor wrote 1357 days ago

Took me a while, so my apologies for not commenting earlier.

However. Very impressive opening, and you maintain the style throughout the material so far (a very good talent.) The action/pace is about right (though as it is incomplete, it's hard to tell if the balance is right throughout) and there is enough hooks to keep the reader turning the pages.

Read and enjoyed - backed with pleasure.

Crowel wrote 1358 days ago

This isn't really my type of read but you have good style and I like your dialogue. Backed.

Lacey

Bonzo147 wrote 1358 days ago

Thanx Sammy...and good luck to you with King Solomon's '13'...a smart piece of workmanship...backed
ASC
Violet Hiccup

Jodi Louise Nicholls wrote 1358 days ago

Hello Sammy,

You have a great first draft here, and a good hook to keep the readers reading. I must say it needs some editing. I would suggest focusing on 'smoothing' your writing so it adds flow. I had to re-read a few lines to keep myself ahead of what was happening. We all have things we need to change so I hope you see this as positive, I really think you have something here.

Kind regards,

Jodi.
xEvalesco-x

rab14 wrote 1359 days ago

There is scope here for a good thriller and you have obviously taken care to reasearch the subject. I like the way the story is moving but feel that it needs to be tightened up. A good edit should address this issue and one which will make the story stand out. I'm sure a second draft will get you there so I'm backing it for its potential. Good luck K.J.

Steve_Caddell wrote 1359 days ago

Hey Sammi, not a subject I would be instantly drawn to but after reading a few short paragraphs Im forced to read on some more. I like the way the narrative switches between Antonio and whoever is watching him (unless Ive totally miss read it all). I'm going to read on some more.

Well done !

DDickson wrote 1360 days ago

Hello – Just so that you know, I tend to comment as I read, as if I was thinking aloud, and I don’t crit grammar etc. because there are plenty of people who are much better qualified that I on this site. If I have read your book and commented it is because I enjoyed it and truly believe it has value and so I don’t often make negative comments. The exception is if you have specifically asked me to read and then I believe that you deserve an honest opinion.

King Solomon’s 13 – Return Read

I am wondering why you have the background at the start and then pretty well repeat the same information not far into the first chapter.

In the paragraph describing the fall on the ledge you might want to take a look at the first sentence it didn’t read quite right.

On the one hand this captured my attention but I do believe that there is some tightening up to do. The scene with the ancient priest didn’t see vivid enough to me and there is a phrase just after “surmising his bones were intact” do you actually do that “surmise” that you haven’t broken anything. Surely you would be more likely to test your limbs for pain and rotate your joints for movement. Please accept these comments as they are meant, simply my thoughts as a reader.

I have found your work enjoyable in the most part and the premise is fascinating. You obviously either have a knowledge of the subject or have done a great deal of research which gives this story a real feel of reality.

How did he know that the vision had been telling him about the discovery of the scrolls, I think that if you are going to make that statement it is a bit of a cheat not to explain how he knows.

The para beginning “the hour and a half home was an eternity” again I wonder if you would want to revisit that as it doesn’t really read smoothly to me.

I think that this is definitely worth the work to polish it, the story holds the promise of great excitement and intrigue. I will back this because I feel that once you have edited and polished it you will have something very good – Diane



hajp49 wrote 1361 days ago

This is an interesting read, very current. It fits right in with the National Treasure thrillers and Da Vinci code. Makes me want to do my own research in this geographic area. Well done. Backed.

H. Schaefer 'Tales of Brave Ulysses'

Shakat wrote 1362 days ago

Hi Sammy! Thanks for your comment on Stand! I took a quick look at your hook and got drawn in... just for wondering how jews got to a place in New Mexico over 1000years ago and still had ties to King Solomon. I tend to take notes as I read... and I'll paste them here. These are just my musings, to be used or discarded as you see fit. Most of it is grammar, but the errors did mean I didn't get far. I just have trouble reading over mistakes usually.

"Antonia did as he was instructed, he already used the system on his SUV"
Swap that , for a . else it's a comma splice

"The idea remaining in the back of his mind, planning to consider it when he was ready to stay home reducing his trips overseas." I THINK there are too many verbs ending in 'ing'. I just don't understand this sentence.

"Hidden Mountain was a magnet pulling him, as if he were metal." the 'as if he was metal' is implied by the magnet. You don't need it.

General comment: I'm a little baffled by the tenses in the Mountain details. Some of this is in the past ("On his first visit to the University, he found himself at Hidden mountain." Maybe he HAD found himself...") but then not? LIke "Another stone depicts a solar eclipse" Now we're in present... but the story is in past (He WAS taking his Raven black beauty..." (and why was Raven Black Beauty capitalized?)

Raven Black Beauty has become Black Raven Beauty?

So he plays poker... good to have a game face! It's probably a very picky point, but could you say '...and doing damn good with his poker PLAYING' when he was in the States." Just the first time. "Poker play" is a bit too much lingo for someone (like me!) who doesn't play. I thought it could mean anything.

"Max, shouted." No need for the ,

"Many players, including him, tried to keep..." I'm a little unclear on who 'him' is here. Max or Antonio?

"He looked around, "Okay Raven, the road is outs. Can you dance?" he bellowed as he stomped it."
period after 'around' and I'd drop the quotes around 'stoimped it;'./

"Stones surrounding one of the coined dugouts he was skeptical about the supposed use for the military. Who in the hell would the enemy be? Standing near he pondered the idea."
Sorry... I lost it. Firstly, I think you need a , after 'dugouts' to make the sentence flow correctly. Secondly Military? What military? Who's using hte moutnain? I must have missed something?

"Turning taking a couple of steps without warning, the place he was standing on..." Again, missing commas. After turning (otherwise you are turning taking and I don't know what that is) and one after steps, else he's taking a couple of steps without warning, and since he's alone, I don't know who he would have warned.

I'm sure you can give more with the fall. It felt very factual. Need a bit more drama there! He just fell in a hole! How far? Was he surprised? Panicked? Something?

That's as far as I got for now. You've got a facinating premise, and great potential for an epic adventure. Best of luck! I hope some of these comments help polish King Solomon's 13 to the editor's desk!

Shakat
Stand

Ron Mitchell wrote 1362 days ago

I thought this to be a very intriguing storyline. I will have to reread your story because I may have missed why you have 13 tribes of Israel. If I am reading you right the characters discover a 13th tribe of Israel, however, the implication you leave the reader early on is that there are 13 tribes which contradicts Biblical scholarship from the actual Hebrew writings. This is just a note. Overall, the story has a good flow and holds the reader's interest. Please remember December Gold in your reading and comments.