ROUGH JUSTICE

Daer Dean,

You have a strong story and it is even more intriguing because you are an Olympic medalist, and have cerebral palsy and epilepsy.

The style is readable and what I like in particular is the 'voice' which is really approachable.

I read the family history in the first chapter like reading a history of ordinary British people. The way it's written with affection and pride makes it likable. I thought it was a nice way to lead readers into your biography.

Now, the second chapter dives right into the shocking bit of the story and the pace changes. It is in my opinion though I always think that too much "!" marks and capital letters actually weaken the impact. I also think it might be more effective to shorten the chapter, and tame down the outcries of anger. I am a believer that the "chilly silence" brings out more horror than the constant screams, which may numb the senses. I am only talking about the impact and effect here although your outcry of anger is totally understandable.

It is another idea and you can ignore it but have you heard of a Japanese TV drama series called "Oshin"? It was broadcasted every morning for just 15 min. but it always makes you want to know the continuation. Oshin is a little girl who just suffers and suffers and suffers but lives straight and strong (and no wonder it became a grand hit in the third world and the countries like Cuba). Why I mentioned this, is because your life story seems to be full of events and lots of unexpected challenges, and yet you have come this far - winning bronze medal, and writing up a book, fighting for your case in the court. So I thought you have stories enough to make many short and continuous dramas to keep readers turn pages, if you do it tactically.
It is not a fiction like Oshin (although it is also based on someone's bio) but won't you think about it?

R

I've read through all 10 chapters you currently have set up.

I don't believe you need anyone, especially me, to tell you that you could use some editing here and there. Personally, I don't even feel that it's important to set out for a first draft.

What got me here was that everything you wrote had a stark realism to it, something that hits on every possible nerve and angle. I like the fact that your story is raw and unfinished, it makes it seem a lot more human.

Also, I am wondering if you've ever experienced an aura just prior to having petit mals. It probably isn't that important in terms of your book, but I've been with a woman that has a cortical displasia in the left-frontal cortex for the past 6 years or so, she always seems to be able to 'feel out' just before she has one. Like running water without the wetness, from what she describes.

I hope that you get the chance to polish this up. In the meantime, here's a 5.

Rough Justice by Dean Kelly.

Foreword. Putting a foreword in a manuscript is a very good way to set out and setup what your story is about and of course how and where it originated. When it´s an autobiography, giving the background on the author, the reader has a certain sense of knowing and understanding the author.

Judoman takes it one step further in his foreword as he gives credit and tributes to the many people who helped shape events in his life and eventually filled in the gaps for him to write such a story as Rough Justice.

In the setup the characters are well placed, however they do need some rounding off. A little more research on those time periods in London and Scotland will be an added bonus to the manuscript. Weave the history of those time periods a little more around the characters and the story will simply flow.

When writing about the birth of yourself, which is not always easy from a man´s point of view, put yourself in the position your mother was in at the time. We need to see the sensitivities. Busses coming and going takes something away from the sensitivity that the reader needs to feel. Don´t put words in capitals for effect. Write it so that your readers will get the sense of the injustices done to you and your family. (Remember, even today many women cannot afford medical assistance while giving birth and are suffering the same indignation and heartache as your mother.)

The difference with your story is you overcame the obstacles of injustice and are here to tell the story and I believe you have taken action in the high court, although I have not gotten to that part of the story.

As I read the story I get a sense of mixed emotions of sadness, friendship and love. However, I feel like I´m reading a story about someone looking into the life of another.

Judoman the story is there, it´s your story. Tell us about your childhood with Paul. Remember it´s a manuscript and there are no restriction on length, so the canvass is all yours, use it.

My suggestion would be to elaborate more circumstances surrounding your characters. Most of your characters are real and form an important time and bond in your life, so tell us about them so that we can share in your story.

I think you just need to let go sometimes and be Dean for the sensitive parts and Judoman for the tough parts.

You will have to see to the layout, go over your story again and see where you can elaborate more on the important characters in your life. I would suggest you do that before you look to self publish.

Best of luck with Rough Justice.

Okay, this is amazing! So sad yet so compelling, the bond of a truly loving family with little more than each other. I can't help but leave yet another comment. This is a work that has truly touched me! I have NEVER read something this amazing! You are a trooper and a gifted fighter from what I've read.

High, high praises,
Nichole

The first two chapters of your story have brought tears to my eyes dean. I hate that doctor and feel for your mother. Three days of labor and no help, what was that doctor on!? You are truly amazing in your own right and you give a new meaning to the term miracle child. With CP and Epilepsy you have conquered quite a lot. In short this is an amazing work of literature and I commend you for putting your story out there. It will surely be an inspiration to any of those who have the honor of reading it
High praises-
Nichole

I love this so far dean! I can visualize all the happenings and feel every emotion. Not to mention I can relate to it personally. I was born with CP as well. You truly have talent
-Nichole

Dean, I read all you posted, 1 - 10, and to say that I was blown away by your story would be an understatement. I had a tear in my eye at one point, and in the next breath I was laughing out loud (the part about being put in the ice-bath and being the cleanest kid on the Estate. Hilarious AND heartbreaking).You're a funny guy and no mistake. The legal parts of your autobiography made my blood boil, as we all know that you need big money to hire the best lawyers. Money makes the world go round. And as for the medical profession sticking together: they always have. My family has experience of it. But you rose above adversity to become a strong, confident person. Lesser personalities would have been ground down by the system. Hurray for heroes like you Dean! And I think this book would make a brilliant Guy Ritchie film, with all the stuff you got up to in your youth. On my WL and highly-starred. Bravo.
Jane x

Dean, This is exactly what I would like to read and is not too unlike to my own book. You tell it so well with a very good narrative that makes me want to read on and on even though I know I have to put it down and get on with some work. the reason for this is easy. You have not only got a brilliant flow going on here but you describe so well without even knowing it and it matches the pace and flow of not only this storyline but also in this genre and thats where I can see you writing for a long time. So well done and I score this high.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you? Many thanks. Sean

Rough Justice. Chapters 1 to 5.

An autobiography written in such a way that minor typos or spelling errors cease to be of any importance at all. You explain your life in such a graphic and honest way - I am sure no reader will be able to, or want to, avoid getting pulled into your life in these early chapters. Your anger - expressed so openly- through the opening chapters is not only understandable, I think it's remarkable that you controlled yourself to the extent that you did. Very well done for writing this - I've only had time for five chapters but will return to read the rest very shortly.
6 stars and onto my watchlist. Janet

Janet/Helen
The Stranger In My Life

Hi Dean,

I read 1-8, and found it a fascinating story, narrated with a very human voice. You tell it how it is, without any niceties being employed as cover-up. I find your worldview valid and thought-provoking.

You also manage to put a lot of passion into your writing, something which brings home the power and strength of your personality, and reflects the energy and sheer bloodymindedness which seems to have driven the engine, and allowed you to collect those special judo-honours alongside a huge amount of personal success in life.
I thought the sentence "I have found peace in my life" is very touching, and I wish you additional fulfillment through your writing. Backed.

Ame
Wolfmother

This is a great book and Dean Kelly knows how to express his emotions. I keep coming back for inspiration.
Thanks for sharing, Dean.
Lucette- Ten Deep Footprints

Hi Dean,

After meeting you in the forums a couple of times, I thought I'd come and check out your book. Although I was pleased to find that this deals with my favourite subject - childbirth, I was also upset for you to find how wrong it all went. Unfortunately, your birth was not the happy event it should have been. The emotions and thoughts which usually accompany a birth still come flowing from the pages even after all these years and the story seems so fresh and up front, as if it had happened recently . . . which makes this a very touching read.

I liked the writing for its unconventional approach and its immediacy. I shall back your book in a couple of days.

Ame

Hi Dean,

Thank you for your very moving account of your life in 'Rough Justice.' The overwhelming feeling that writing about your birth and childhood evokes is one of great anger.

You certainly come from a very strong, supportive family. The 1960's brought a new 'fashion' for home deliveries, until sadly the rate of stillbirths and birth trauma increased so women were encouraged to deliver babies once more in hospital. GP's have and still do get paid by the government to provide antenatal care to a pregnant woman, even if care is shared with a hospital where she is seen antenatally and delivered, and even if the community midwife delivers the baby.

I would have liked to have more description about Doctor Bastible. Why did he stick to his decision about delivering you at home in spite of substantial risk to both mother and child?

I thought you described your primary school well, and I especially liked how you wrote about its distinctive smell.

I am so glad that you have a loving wife, and a good, life-long friend in Paul. Congratulations that you have achieved so much in Judo, and that it has become a way of dealing with your anger.

As a former midwife, who is also now disabled with stubborn doctors, I would like to speak to you further about your delivery.

Take Care,

Carol

Hi Dean,
I just read Chapter 7 and I think it's one of the most dynamic chapters, as it's full of sincerity and you've reflected your inner world in a strong manner. Thanks for sharing. Your story is full of vibe, feelings and analysis of life which draws me in like a magnet.

Stay well for now,
Lucette- Ten Deep Footprints

Dean,

I stumbled across your book and simply had to read and comment. As others have stated, you write from the heart and with incredible passion. I've given you 6 stars and will put this on my shelf soon, I promise! And I cannot wait to read more - even though I've used about ten tissues so far!

Best wishes,

Dani

Hi Dean,
Just finished reading up to chp 4 - and first of all I want to say that I think this has great potential. You have a story to tell, and do so in a style that feels completely from the heart and brings a sense of immediacy to your narrative. I liked the acknowledgments - it gives us a bit of insight in to who you are now, before the story takes us back to how 'it all began'. I think for this site, it might be an idea to put them in their own seperate chapter with a heading, but it's not essential.

I see most of the comments mention grammar issues, and I did notice them, but I set that aside to just get into the story. All you need is a copy-editor to work with to sort out those details.

What really grabbed me about this is that at no point did I ever feel any kind of self-pity in this - you write in a clear, strong voice - and your undertandable anger at that particular doctor and his colleague comes through with passion.

I loved the details of your grandparents - the good and the bad - there was a great deal I could identify with here (I have working-class Irish background, and some of your relatives sound alot like some of mine!).

Helen McAvoy sounds like a remarkable woman, it was no small thing back in those days for a woman to decide to leave her husband and go it alone, even if he was an alcoholic abuser. She must have been a really strong, determined lady.
Patrick Kelly reminds me of both my great uncles - both Patricks (Uncle Paddys - lol).

Your parents deserve nothing but respect for the way in which they coped - these days it's hard for people to understand how things were back then, even though it's not that long ago. I remember my own grandparents and parents never, ever even thought of questioning the wisdom and authority of someone like a doctor, or a priest. They were 'authority', and given far more respect than they often deserved.

Chapter 4 gave a bit of 'light relief', depicting the beginnings of your friendship with Paul (and Barry) and how that helped you to be and feel normal - looking forward to reading more about the two of you.

Overall, this is really good stuff - it's actually quite heart-wrenching, but you write it in such a matter-of-fact way. Keep going until you get it published - with an editor to work with to whip things into to shape, I can see it happening..

I'll keep reading, because I'd like to see how you've handled all this, and because after just 4 chp's of a biography I think it's too soon to comment on things like over-all structure. (I say this because I was wondering if you should rather save the references to the court case for later in the book, but have to wait and see how you've structured the later chapters.)

wishing you all the best with this
Kim
The Seventh Gate

Nowadays it is unethical NOT to report doctors and nurses. It's called whistleblowing and we are encouraged to do it. Fortunately I've not needed to but I've heard some stories. I've read the first two chapters. At first I thought why would anyone be interested in reading somebody's life story? I read an old man's once and it was really waffly and boring. I didn't get past the first page. With yours, I will be definitely be reading til the end. Well done.

reviewed chap 3 - some edits needed and i'd be happy to make some suggestions as well... but this chapter warmed and broke my heart at the same time...
i wish i had more to offer, but i'm not very knowledgeable on the subject of non-fiction

sorry,
Jaclyn
It Never Happened

CWOG'd first chap

This is a bit daunting... I really enjoy your pitch so I know a little bit about what's to come and I'm anxious to read more. I will make two suggestions thus far.
1. put your acknowledgements in it's own chapter at the very end of the book. I know they normally go at the front, but scrolling through it all looking for a start might deter people from continuing on
2. end your chapters with a big punch. I like that this would be a good place to stop... but if you end on a "duh duh duhhhh" moment, that encourages readers to continue to the next chapter...

having that said, this strategy might not work for a non-fiction... it's just something to think about i guess.

will read more later!

Jaclyn
It Never Happened
My Life Without Me

Hi Dean,
I just finished reading Chapter 4-5-6, and I'm glad to see that you keep your narratives as dynamic as possible.

You've introduced Paul, your cousin and other people around you (including their parents) to help us visualize your surroundings and the circumstances.

I like the way you describe your feelings and 6 stars remain!
Best wishes,
Lucette- Ten Deep Footprints

Hello, Dean
First a few technical issues.
I think you say somewhere you weren’t good at English but for your book to progress, you really need to get an English expert to fix up the errors because they are really detracting greatly from your writing. It just makes it that much harder to concentrate on the interesting story when errors pepper the page so much.
Examples:
Odd things like a capital on Ten.
best at- working (hyphens attached to words).
Commas missing quite often.
That fine by me = that was fine by me (?)
His lose not mine = his loss not mine.
Newly born = newly-born
Nor pay for by him = nor paid for by him
Watch using all capitals for a whole sentence. Better to use italics for emphasis.
60’s = 1960s
Rivitters = rivetters?
Relivately = relatively
I am wondering why your spell-checker did not show up misspellings like this?

However, all that aside, you really are a natural storyteller and that is a tremendous asset, especially when writing from our own lives.
Many people have stories to tell but they don’t know how to put them across (which is why so many celebrities have ghost-writers and such).
You also have a sense of (black) humour, eg:
“only so many pairs of old shoes and old clothes a household can burn in the fire”
“luxury on an extended holiday”
Sailor’s nickname funny little story; such tidbits add greatly to characters and the book’s appeal overall.
It is always good to read about how people have succeeded in life after very inauspicious beginnings.
I really urge you to get the errors fixed up since you are competing with so many other books which have been edited for grammar and punctuation. I think people would be interested in your story but no agent or editor will bother much past the first couple of paragraphs because of mistakes.
I hope you see I am positive about your book’s worth.
Best of luck and bye for now.
Jane Mauret
MALDIVES MUSLIMS ME

Hello Dean
You have a compelling story to tell, and you should take some creative writing curses to tell it.
All the best, Kathie Bondar

Hello Dean
You have a compelling story to tell, and you should take some creative writing curses to tell it.
All the best, Kathie Bondar

Dean, I read your whole manuscript over the last couple of days. I think you have an interesting story to tell. That said, as a reader, there are a few things I think could improve it quite a bit.

I found the language of Rough Justice easy to read and easy to understand. Some sectsion were very well written and others not so much. There were a lot of spelling, grammatical and punctuation errors that need attention.

It seems there may have been some errors while uploading, as the order of chapters seems out, and one of the chapters appears to be there three times. Having everything in chronological order would be nice. Seems to be a rather large chunk missing from almost teens to later adult life.

The writing in capitals I think should be changed. Either just to normals text, or perhaps italicised.

Through each chapter you often give your thoughts and feelings on what it is like to look back on it now, I think that could be better as a summary at the end of each chapter, and perhaps this will help you make sure you're not repeating sentiments too often.

Overall, I found this an interesting read, and I wish you all the best as you continue to write and share your story. I hope that you are able to come to peace with your rough start in life.

Tara
Wife to Brett Adams, Dark Matter

Hi Dean,
The more I read the more I respect and love Margaret and James Kelly...great parents, and strong people with hope.
Your writing is honest and comes from the heart, as I'm glad to see that each chapter is written with emotions and you've successfully reflected them on the pages.

Best wishes,
Lucette- Ten Deep Footprints

Very intriguing life, and although you endured a lot you made it. It is worth to tell it, and encourage people who go through the same circumstances. I am almost certain that everyone knows someone who is disable. You have courage, a lot of it, and you went back to visit the school that you hated so much. Keep going you have a life that puts all of us to shame for complaining about little things in life. There are few typos, and, my opinion, good start so keep it chronological. Utilize commas and periods as well. For example the very first sentence, I made few minor changes with the necessary commas “It was a cold 3rd of February 1965 night, the wind was doing its best to rearrange the curtains, the floor was cold, the walls were cold and damp, and the occupants of 90 Runfold Avenue were freezing. It was the kind of cold that got inside the morrow of the bones chilling every fiber of your being.” High stars of an extraordinary story. I will give you more feedback in the near future if you wish.
Maria
Midday Drawing

Very intriguing life, and although you endured a lot you made it. It is worth to tell it, and encourage people who go through the same circumstances. I am almost certain that everyone knows someone who is disable. You have courage, a lot of it, and you went back to visit the school that you hated so much. Keep going you have a life that puts all of us to shame for complaining about little things in life. There are few typos, and, my opinion, good start so keep it chronological. Utilize commas and periods as well. For example the very first sentence, I made few minor changes with the necessary commas “It was a cold 3rd of February 1965 night, the wind was doing its best to rearrange the curtains, the floor was cold, the walls were cold and damp, and the occupants of 90 Runfold Avenue were freezing. It was the kind of cold that got inside the morrow of the bones chilling every fiber of your being.” High stars of an extraordinary story. I will give you more feedback in the near future if you wish.
Maria
Midday Drawing

Dean: Realclub review
As one Kelly to another...I read your work some time ago and was impressed with your strength and piss and vinegar. (a familiar old saying) Seems to be you have been through hell and back and lived to tell the tale. I gave you high stars then and I give them to you now. I love the humor and the nerve you have to tell it.
The best of luck
Shirley Grace

Hi Dean,
I just read the acknowledgements part and the first chapter to have an overall feel of ROUGH JUSTICE, and I have to say that I got hooked in immediately with your vibrant descriptions and sincere first person voice.

The acknowledgement part at the beginning was good but please correct STUBBORNNESS (with a double n). These minor issues unfortunately become big issues when you present your book to a seasoned agent.

The first chapter flows well, I liked your sense of giving some back-story of your mother and father in the '60's as well. Your narrative possesses a smooth structure and it's good that you started it with a chronological scale, since the day of your birth. I liked the authencity of your plot and the realism you injected into it, saying things the way they are -which adds a good quality and reads well.

High stars and you're in my WL for further comments,
Best wishes,
Lucette Cohen Fins - Ten Deep Footprints

Wow. This is well written, captivating, heartbreaking and inspiring. You truly are amazing, both as a man and as a writer.

Dean
I have read the first few chapters of your book and was captivated. Your story is heart-warming and heart-breaking. It is lightened by your wonderful sense of humour. I admire your strength in facing the extraordinary difficulties you have faced, but most of all, I admire your honestly. You do not pretend to be a perfect person, you admit your faults and readers can relate to you because of that.
There are quite a lot of punctuation and grammatical errors in these chapters and I think it would be worth having someone help you edit your work so that the book reaches its full potential. This is a story that needs to be heard
Best of luck with it.
Kirstie

Dean, have just read the first 3 chapters, and I am very moved by your incredible story. The most tragic thing of all, it seems to me, is that your mother was deprived of the help she was fully entitled to, and as a result of this negligence by the doctors' concerned, you were born disabled.
From day one, you have had to struggle to survive, but survive you did, and one of the most touching things about the way you have written your account of family and personal struggles is that you do so with not only a desire to see justice done, but with a cheeky sense of humour. Your spirit really shines through.
I love your title by the way, and think it encapsulates your story perfectly. I'm giving this high stars, and look forward to reading more soon.
David
MASTER ACT: a memoir

Dean,

Your story is both heart-breaking and uplifting. Heart-breaking, because the disabilities you were born with need not have happened and uplifting in the way you chose to battle against all the odds. You show true courage and a determined spirit that many of us are fortunate enough never to have to do.

I found the 'thank you's' at the beginning both informative and extremely moving. You had a lot of 'good' people around you as you grew up, offering support.

There is some classic humour on these pages - You point out that your parents were a perfect couple because they were both CELTIC FC supporters. I won't write everything that made me smile here but the humour was a good balance with so many sad facts. Youe write with honesty and you pull-no-punches (probably not the best phrase, given that you pulled a lot of punches in your life!). But I think you know what I mean.

I have read to chapter 6 and hope you get justice in the end.

A great read and story that deserves to be told. Some typos and grammer that need looking at but they really don't take anything from the story. YOUR story.

Thank you for sharing it.

Top stars and wishing you all the very best with it.
Debbie

What a story, Dean! I commend your courage and strength. It is an amazing achievement to write this. You have a certain flair for expression, and this has potential to be worked into a commercial product, but it needs a lot of work and strong editing. You repeat yourself often and also over-explain at times (repeating the same thing in different words). Lots of sentences need reconstruction and ther are typos, grammatical errors etc. All of those can be fixed with editing. Also, the use of capital letters is ill-advised. Avoid them completely other than for the beginning of the first word in a sentence or a name. And although I admire you for acknowledging so lovingly all those you care for, the Dedication is far too long and will put many readers off reading further.
That said, what you have achieved is truly impressive, and I salute you for exposing these ugly truths about the medical profession and the justice system. I agree completely that these things need to be revealed. Stories like yours must be told. For that reason, I hope you can revise it and have it edited so that it reaches publishable standard. Perhaps Harper True Life will take it up, as they have the writing staff to do that for you. I suggest you contact Harper True Life. They have a separate website on which you can give them a summary of your story.
Best of luck with it.
RaineyC
The Pencil Case (also an expose of injustice)

Wow, Dean, this is a gripping read. It was sometimes hard to remember that this isn't fiction and I felt almost guilty for enjoying it because this is actually your life. You've done a great job with your descriptions and your overall narrative voice is very smooth and enjoyable. This could do with a good edit but even so, it didn't distract me and I found myself reading far more than I intended. There are some great one-liners throughout: The description of James McAvoy being called 'Sailor' because he was always pissed and Luxury being on an extended holiday - witty and very cleverly written. All the very best with this and I take my hat off to you for having the courage to document what you've been through because I don't think I'll ever be able to do it. Highly starred, well done.

Here goes with chapter two.
You obviously have a flair for writing, the text gives just enough imformation regarding the birth and how badly your mother was treated. i found it easy to follow and for the most part the words flowed well.
Here are my points
1) Watch the typos.
2) There are sentences that need restructured, look back over story and add in full stops and coma's wherever nessisary.
3) Have to mention the capitals, your writing is powerful enough without the capitals (same goes for exclamation marks.
4) Sometimes you can be repetetive, for example you mention your mothers height a couple of times. Instead of actually saying it you could say something like "Her tiny frame made childbirth difficult".
I hope this helps, I really enjoyed reading this.

You are so brave to have written this. It takes a lot of courage to write your story, and I want to thank you for sharing it with me. You did something I could never do: relive nightmares of your past. That takes so much heart. I like how you conveyed your emotions. I think this was great and I am so sorry about things you have dealt with.

But you had people there to love you and carry you on, and that is so important.

Great story!

Made me cry!

Many stars!

Racheal

Hi Dean,

I read chapter 4 & 5. You recount an interesting and troubled childhood, it is interesting to me that through all the suffering you do pay credit to those who were supportive and caring (they do exist). Not wanting to offend; some of the swearing feels unessasary, it makes you appear angry and aggressive, when I am sure you just want to communicate your experience. I found it very interesting and I wish you good luck with it, you are a strong person who has overcome a great deal and I am sure others will find direction in your work and experience.

Kind Regards and Best Wishes

Lenny Banks
Tiide and Time: At the Rock

Dean,

I had to read "Rough Justice", as it is your autobiography. I saw a few word choice errors in the first chapter, but easily remedied.
I love that you have made so much of your life, as you had many hurdles from birth.
Your story is a wonderful reminder that no matter what circumstances we are dealt with in life, there are wonderful people such as yourself that overcome.

Thank you for sharing your story.

Morgan H xx

Dean, after reading every chapter of Rough Justice I have come to the conclusion that you are a one hell of a survivor! You certainly didn't have an easy time coming into this world, but you one of the lucky ones, Dean - you came from strong stock, Granddad Patrick Kelly being one. It was lovely to read how close you both were, and Mrs McAvoy, your Grandma.
Now she sounded a wonderful woman, full of wisdom, teaching you for endless hours how to talk and walk when you were a small lad. She wasn't going to let cerebal palsy get in the way of her grandson going on to live a fulfilled life, in which you now have with your beautiful wife, Lil, by your side. Sounds like you've got a marriage made in heaven.

I especially enjoyed reading about you and Paul's friendship from the time you were both nippers and that even today you're still like brothers. Lovely! Mind, I did laugh about you giving those kids who'd poked fun of you a bashing.
I felt sorry for you hiding under the seat on the school bus feeling embarrassed that the bullies, if they saw you, would pick on you and call you names. Oh, it must have been terrible for you.
Epilepsy : how could those teaches put you in a cold bath after having a seizure? How cruel. And that horrible physiotherapist abusing you like that. Just terrible. No wonder your childhood's affected you growing up - made you very angry on times, which then got you into lots of fights. I think even today you're probably still fighting the demons and all because you were unlucky to get Dr Bastible to deliver you. Never mind wanting him struck off, he should have been strung up by the neck. Destroying a baby's life, what an irresponsible man, with no regard for your mother's life or her newborn. But Dean, you've been very lucky in life though by having devoted parents in James and Margaret.

I don't blame you as a lad kicking off, Dean, I really don't. The appalling way you were treated at that specialist school for children with disabilities was disgusting, but with the help from your family friends and lovely wife, you've turned out a very lovely guy. I wish you health and happiness in life.
Connie xx
Streets Apart

I hope that it will be of more help to you to comment on each individual chapter than to give an overall comment so here goes.
I've been drawn in by the first chapter. I found it to be honest and entertaining (ie, what your father said to the pub landlord). I felt I could relate to your early life as we were born into harsh conditions too, and my father delivered milk from an early age in scotland. Also my fathers father sounds very similar to your mothers father. All these points made it more enjoyable for me.
There are two points i would like to go through. I think things to this effect have already been said but there's no harm in repeating them
1) There are typos throughout the story, for example a 't' instead of 'to' and things like that. but its easy to fix that.
2) There are times when you put sentences in capitals. I think you should let the power of the words put your point across instead of using capitals as it can be a bit distracting.

However I liked your style of writing and always admire people who are willing to share their own life through writing.

Hi, i actually did not think of the story as this way at all because of its cover, its true not to judge the book by its cover.
A lot in it, to take from it. As i read along, there are things related to peopel i am aware of, but not everything to one person, as it is in yours.

Good luck. Good book.

Hi Dean,

I've been reading your book this weekend and I'm now on chapter 8. Respect to you, mate, this is great and you write with real grit and total honesty. I bet you get a publishing deal out of this. Fair enough, it will need tidying up, but it definitely needs to be heard. My friend's daughter was born with cerebral palsy due to medical negligence and after 23 years of fighting in the courts, they have just been awarded two million in compo. It's all split up between the mother and daughter, and certain amounts have to be used for housing and future care etc, but still, at last they have a result. Someone admitted guilt. I truly hope you have had some success in that area, Dean, and if not, then I hope something comes of this. You are obviously a born fighter, and fighters fight till the death. I have loved reading this and will read more of it. Well done Mate, I hope you feel very proud of it. Lots of love, Julie xxx

I'm back to read more of Rough Justice. We both have been through a lot

Rough justice. There is something special about a disabled person, and you're no exception. I'm particularly drawn by your loving acknowledgement of your family and friends.

Ch.1. Do you want nits?
There are some unnecessary / vague words which spoil the flow of a story, and could be searched out: just,almost, always.

You wouldnt be on this site if you didnt want to get published, and dI've been told that editors abhor exclamation marks, calling them screamers!

There are also some repetitions too close together, which could be easily remedied, like cold, money (Ch.4)
such.
Those were hard times, and you convey the feeling well.

Chs. 2-3. Your mother was tiny!
And yes, people are inclined to put far too much faith and trust in their doctors, who are all human after all - like us.
My - it's a real wonder you survived!

Ch.4. It is very often the case that those suffering the most hardships turn out to be the best people.
My heart goes out to you, hiding under that blanket on your way to school, and I admire your guts and your courage.

Thankyou for the inspiring read.

Jane (Breath of Africa).

your book hit nerves. it resurrected ill-feelings concerning my son who was diagnosed with a lifetime medical condition.

Hi Dean, I saw you pitch and it grabbed my attention because my own parents lost their first baby through medical negligence. It's always fantastic to read about people who manage to overcome the trials that life throws their way and you've certainly had your fair share - more than. I'm sure a good editor or agent could really do something with this and I'll keep my fingers crossed that it happens for you. It's inspiring and these days, we could all do with a bit of that.

All the best
Melanie
La Vie en Rosé

Hi Dean,
Good job on your pitch, I really liked it! I will definitely give this a read (I have a few in front of yours)

Beth Davis
I Never Saw It Coming

Have you seen the film Unleashed? This reminded me of that film a little.

I love true stories particularly those which show triumph against all odds, yes perhaps a little editorially clunky but inspiring and the tweaks can be done later on - thank you for sharing your experience with us I look forward to reading more :)