Book Jacket

 

rank 444
word count 28332
date submitted 29.06.2010
date updated 11.12.2013
genres: Biography
classification: universal
incomplete

ROUGH JUSTICE

DEAN KELLY

Rough Justice is my autobiography - medical negligence at birth and a cover up followed by a legal struggle.

 

Dean John Kelly was born on 5th February 1965. He was born at home in Luton, England by a his GP Dr Bastible.

Because of Doctors Bastibles medical negligence Dean's mother was told that her son AND FIRST BORN would die that evening, the family sent for a priest to administer the LAST RITES.

I do not pretend to have always been a good lad or the boy next door - I have had some nasty run in's with som "Dodgy" people - one who would leave well alone after a fight in a Luton pub, so my mates had him kidnapped, bungled into the back of a car and dumped in France - It's a long walk home apparently.

I luckily enough survived the horendous birth, where I suffered cerebal palsy and epilepsy. This is my story about life growing up, going to a special school were I was abused, by one of the staff a woman who sexually abused me, my life as a successful accountant, husband and BRITISH JUDO BRONZE MEDALIST in 2009. I hope you enjoy my journey.

 
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tags

abusive, corrupt, corupt establishment, moving, sad, true life stories, true liffe story, violent

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100 comments

 

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Acinorev wrote 57 days ago

Hi Dean, I have just read chapter seven, of your remarkable story. My God! How many more places are there like, Lady Zia Werhner. These places are legalised havens for paedophiles and sadist. I don’t know how you survived it and came through it still sane. Remarkably, you even have a sense of humour; that humour shows in your writing, and you need it. It balances your understandably anger. I have just noticed that my communications with you have been erased and I can’t send you a message it’s been blocked? Someone might have put in a complaint about something that we discussed? Anyway still big hugs from me. Kylla.

Acinorev wrote 60 days ago

Hi Dean, thank you for your praise and encouragement. Like you, I try to be honest, and keep my story simple, because in a way I am writing about my partners experiences; dressed up as fiction. As they say.
(Only the names and places have been change folks.)
I am hoping that the simplicity of my story telling will make up for my lack of writing skills. At least, it will be easy to read; nothing heavy or too pretentious. I am not educated enough to be pretentious LOL. My big concern is in order to explain that it is possible for a small man to have good sex. I have had to go into detail about sexual techniques. So it has gone over the line and will only be judged as a pornographic piece of writing. When it is complete, it will be a romance story too. Anyway that is a long way off, and very few books get published. At least, we get some of our stories read on autonomy.
Reading about the hardship in your life, especially in your childhood, I find it remarkable that even though it made you tough; because you had to be to survive. You have retained so much compassion for others. You obviously have got on with your life, and enjoy being you. I will read more of your amazing autobiography, and will put it on my shelf as soon as a space becomes available. I thank you once again for your encouraging words just when I was getting disheartened. I will now complete my story and be proud of achieving it. I thank you, and all the friends that I have made on here. Big hug from me. Kylla.

Sarah Breske wrote 171 days ago

Wow! This is quite an unbelievable story of your real life struggles. It was very hard to read some parts but I became emotionally invested early on. This is a truly remarkable story and I hope you'll be able to share it with the world.


SB
The Rezempia Challenge

cok24 wrote 229 days ago

Dean, my mum recommended your book. It is a tough read.
5 stars
Colin

evermoore wrote 255 days ago

Dean...Seven was most difficult for me to read...I don't know how you survived that monster. All those poor children left with no option but to enter her room of torture. If there is a hell, she will surely be there for what she forced such innocent children to endure. Thank God you also shared Lil. I'm so very happy to know you have her love in your life...and know she's equally as blessed having you.
Linda

evermoore wrote 256 days ago

Dean...I've read the first six chapters and will finish when home this evening. I just wanted to say your book...your young life...is powerfully shared. Your family...from your Gramma's life forward, is told with a frankness that allows me to both ache for her and cheer her on for escaping the hand she'd been dealt. Your 'temper' from the age of five also made me cheer...because so often we allow ourselves to be the victim. You were young and raw...but over time, would have honed that into a more manageable way of dealing with such cruelty. When you saved the girls scarf I wanted to hug you. You are gallant as well, from an early age. Your return to the school...I commend you for that. But your reaction to the physiotherapy room was so telling. Sometimes the atrocities we suffer, always linger...returning full force to bring it all back. I commend you for the sharing of this...and leave you with highest stars and a promise to return.
Linda

Steve Hawgood wrote 256 days ago

Dean - the read. I decided to stay up and kept reading. I've no literary training nor ever published so feel free to deal with these comments as you wish.

I'll be honest with my comments and want to start with one after reading your bio page. You are not unique - you are someone who has lived a life, but there are many more like you in the military and elsewhere. Not sure why some people become over achievers, but you do have a story to tell though and are in compeition with all those others.

Noted you like Frank McCourt - a good example of someone else who lived a difficult life.

I dont usually like quotes and ackowledgements at the start of a book. It should stand on its own merits but in your case it add s a rough flavour even before we open it.

Chapter 1 - that opening works and there's very much a hint of Frank MCourt there, as well as Frank Collins (recommend you read his book), with the birth into a family so dominated by alcohol. It's very much a bleak picture you're painting, with women the only apparent hope - and thats what will keep the reader turning the pages - how does one escape this life to achieve what you have.

You've written this with your own knowledge. There are places where you need to consider how much does the reader know about Luton or Scottish politics - what does being a Celtic supporter mean - I know but an American may not. The read is good but this can be fleshed out still further.

Chapter 2 - I'm not going to mention typos throughout as you know editing is needed but a semi-colon between knife and nobody would help. With a decent editor all that can be picked up quickly.

Overall this reads well. The whole 1960's giving birth experience, with an alcoholic doctor is what the reader wants. Keep this fluid and dont be diverted with your need for Justice here - perhaps later. Trust the reader's intelligence to question him and you can go into detail later with a Chapter on the court case. It's interesting but you stopped us half way through your mother giving birth and its you we want to see.

That last paragraph is excellent.

Chapter 3 - short and sharp - I like it. You've let us empathise with your parents - tell us all the details of how difficult life was but also keep that glimmer of hope for your reader.

Chapter 4 - this starts well - you need to keep the story flowing and we want to see how your environment impacted on you - the nature versus argument. Paul is a part of that clearly so let him grow slowly - you divert us away by telling us about Paul today. Stay with the story here and later bring Pauls success in.

Chapter 5 - back to you and education - good. I will say I'd like to read more about your relationship with your Gran - she had an impact on you - Grans often do. Read this yourself - Frank McCourt told each memory slowly - you rush into it. The anecdote about having an epileptic fit and being stuffed in an ice bath should be there in full detail - were these priests or nuns, were you dressed or undressed. It's all this that makes Dean Kelly who he is today and the reader wants it all.

Dont tell me they are sick sadistic bastards - show me - tell me the tales so I can believe it for myself. This is a powerful part of your life and it needs more detail - Paul should be in there but at that age - dont divert to lager drinking with two fat birds.

Chapter 6 - you've 3 parts to this. The visit back to the school, the memories and your anger. Cut away the anger and tell the story - trust your readers emotions - we'll get angry if you tell it slowly and clearly. We want to know your inner feelings of course so we can connect to you.

Now use these anecdotes to show us your childhood. The return to the school comes later and shows us you have grown.

Chapter 7 - same again. Cut your anger away and tell the story - let us get angry. You rush through places i want more - who was Gary and what happened that you remember him so well. Tell us one memory at a time in detail - you rush us through it all too quickly. I want to know.

A section on cerebral palsy is important and again needs more detail. I'm puzzled how someone who has that can become a judo champion. Your drive and determination are there - tell us more about the medical condition and then how you ignored all that. It's there - I want more.

You then jump to you today and the whole sense of being who you are Judo brings. Its a nice read but needs putting back further. I'm still with you at school and want to follow that through and see you grow at school. Was this when you started judo?

Chapter 8 and back to you growing up - good. You briefly jump to today's news - not needed. Tell me about you and this counsel estate while you are at primary school.

Loads in this Chapter to enjoy but it needs to be you growing. Again the adult experiences come later perhaps after you leave school. Sex and booze arent primary school events.

Chapter 9 - this is what we want here. ( year old you and your memories. Great stuff.

It then jumps to the court case. This is an angle I didnt expect and it adds to the human side of you. Again good but again later - i can see youve marked it as Chapters 19 and 20.

Lillian - I want more on her - thats two Chapters - write it all - you went from an angry young man taking on the world to allow romance in. Worth three Chapters at least.

Dean - read everything you've got loaded up here. You've a story to tell and one that if presented correctly people would read. That needs two things and you know them both - hard work and luck.

You need to sit down and break your life into sections - perhaps birth to first time at school. Then primary, then senior school. From there the impact of leaving school. For each section put in the memories that fit that time in your life. At the moment it jumps around instead of flowing naturally as you grow. I'm not sure how much more you have but there's still a lot more you can write on. Like Frank McCourt tell us what happened in more detail. Sometimes you rush past events in a few lines that Id like to see whole sections on.

You may benefit from reading books by men whove been through interesting lives and see how they structured their story. Baptism by Fire Frank Collins is one and Legionairre by Simon Murray another. Both can be bought on Aamazon.

Overall you've something there. You have lived a life people want to know about and if I've one criticism its that you haent told us enough. Cut away the anger, write your memories and let our own emotions respond. Much of the work you can do yourself to put some order in this. You need a break for someone to help with editing, and then you also need a break to find an agent who will push this. I trust that makes sense. Best. Steve.




Mysteryauthor wrote 266 days ago

first of all, to all the other people who have commented, the little errors DON'T matter. None of us are perfect and the whole point of websites like this is for people who AREN'T authors to share their work. So little mistakes that can be easily fixed do not affect the story or the 'flow'. I have read published books with mistakes in. I'm sure we are all able to understand what is being said.
Rant over!

This story deserves to be shouted on the streets because people are oblivious to some peoples treatment of children with disabilities. I will back this book for as long as you have it on this website.

I personally love the way you write. I think it is like your best friend telling you a story. it feels more personal.
well done to you It must have been very hard to write all this down and share it with people you don't know. it made me angry reading at the things you went through and saw in that school and the behaviour of the doctors.

this is a MUST READ! you have done a great job my friend!

SJ

Michelle Richardson wrote 267 days ago

Dean, I really enjoyed the first two chapters. And I especially liked the end of chapter two! It is so terrible to think this treatment goes on ( and still gets swept under carpets, even now). You write very well, and I'm sure your old English teacher would be very proud.
Take care
Michelle -43 Primrose Avenue
High stars

Kate Steele wrote 267 days ago

Dean
I have read four chapters of your book. A visceral, relentless honesty fills every line of every page (and then shouts at us in deafening capitals). I guess it is your defiant rage, your need to put right an injustice, that powers your narrative. The gentler moments, when they come, are therefore all the more poignant. Thank God also, for the humour - I love it when you ask your friend if he enjoys fighting and he answers you with a smile! This is not an easy read: you spare us none of the pain, physical or mental, of a small child. In spite of errors (which, as has been said by others, can be dealt with) you paint a vivid, absorbing picture of your struggle. There are many memorable sentences. With good editing you will achieve a great book that may help others.
I value honesty - perhaps above all other qualities -in literature and art.
(On a personal level, I also have suffered at the hands of doctors and their 'wall of silence', have also raged against what cannot be repaired. But I have also had many advantages in my life and am grateful for many blessings.
Kate Steele, Is That All There Is?

Sheena Macleod wrote 297 days ago

Rough Justice by Dean Kelly
I noticed this was autobiographical and was interested in reading your fascinating account. Great attention to detail. What a warm-hearted family, I immediately liked your parents and grandmother. You provide humour - I laughed at the nickname 'sailor' and the reason behind this. The wall of silence after your birth- as everyone closed ranks- is, unfortunately, seen in many situations. Fortunately, this is less possible now- although it still occurs in some areas.
The hardest part is that it was all so unnecessary- the initial anger must have been immense. I know I would have been, but then comes acceptance. I am glad that you have found peace in your life, and found Lil to share it with. You have survived , despite the odds, and you come over as a fighter.
You have achieved a lot already and I hope you have success with your book. The work requires editing, but nothing a good editor will not sort out.
Sheena
The Popish Plot

AudreyB wrote 314 days ago

Hi, there--I'm shamelessly visiting your book because I'm hopeful you'll have a look at mine (=:

I loved the descriptions and phrasing you used in the first chapter. I have relatives much like yours in my background; my paternal grandfather left his wife on her own with three small children. She lived with her parents and took in laundry and knitting to get by. You give these relatives such tremendous personality.

I intended to stop after reading two chapters, but this story is so engrossing that I'll continue on and edit this comment as needed.

Bless you for getting that child's scarf. I really liked the way you let us see her frustration and showed us the heartless way her teacher reacted.

Chapter 7 is the most moving by far.

Just opening my comment one last time to say this is one of the most interesting and unusual true-life stories I've read here on Authonomy.

Obviously, you have some editing issues. Find someone who lives nearby who can give your whole document a good going-over. This story is remarkable and shouldn't be hidden behind all these typos and errors. Once you have a tidy manuscript you should be blanketing local agents with this gem of a story.

~AudreyB
Steadfast

KAlexopoulos wrote 381 days ago

I've read through all 10 chapters you currently have set up.

I don't believe you need anyone, especially me, to tell you that you could use some editing here and there. Personally, I don't even feel that it's important to set out for a first draft.

What got me here was that everything you wrote had a stark realism to it, something that hits on every possible nerve and angle. I like the fact that your story is raw and unfinished, it makes it seem a lot more human.

Also, I am wondering if you've ever experienced an aura just prior to having petit mals. It probably isn't that important in terms of your book, but I've been with a woman that has a cortical displasia in the left-frontal cortex for the past 6 years or so, she always seems to be able to 'feel out' just before she has one. Like running water without the wetness, from what she describes.

I hope that you get the chance to polish this up. In the meantime, here's a 5.

Beautiful_Writer_Babe17 wrote 422 days ago

Okay, this is amazing! So sad yet so compelling, the bond of a truly loving family with little more than each other. I can't help but leave yet another comment. This is a work that has truly touched me! I have NEVER read something this amazing! You are a trooper and a gifted fighter from what I've read.

High, high praises,
Nichole

Beautiful_Writer_Babe17 wrote 423 days ago

The first two chapters of your story have brought tears to my eyes dean. I hate that doctor and feel for your mother. Three days of labor and no help, what was that doctor on!? You are truly amazing in your own right and you give a new meaning to the term miracle child. With CP and Epilepsy you have conquered quite a lot. In short this is an amazing work of literature and I commend you for putting your story out there. It will surely be an inspiration to any of those who have the honor of reading it
High praises-
Nichole

Beautiful_Writer_Babe17 wrote 426 days ago

I love this so far dean! I can visualize all the happenings and feel every emotion. Not to mention I can relate to it personally. I was born with CP as well. You truly have talent
-Nichole

Seringapatam wrote 429 days ago

Dean, This is exactly what I would like to read and is not too unlike to my own book. You tell it so well with a very good narrative that makes me want to read on and on even though I know I have to put it down and get on with some work. the reason for this is easy. You have not only got a brilliant flow going on here but you describe so well without even knowing it and it matches the pace and flow of not only this storyline but also in this genre and thats where I can see you writing for a long time. So well done and I score this high.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you? Many thanks. Sean

Janet/Helen wrote 429 days ago

Rough Justice. Chapters 1 to 5.

An autobiography written in such a way that minor typos or spelling errors cease to be of any importance at all. You explain your life in such a graphic and honest way - I am sure no reader will be able to, or want to, avoid getting pulled into your life in these early chapters. Your anger - expressed so openly- through the opening chapters is not only understandable, I think it's remarkable that you controlled yourself to the extent that you did. Very well done for writing this - I've only had time for five chapters but will return to read the rest very shortly.
6 stars and onto my watchlist. Janet

Janet/Helen
The Stranger In My Life

zap wrote 430 days ago

Hi Dean,

I read 1-8, and found it a fascinating story, narrated with a very human voice. You tell it how it is, without any niceties being employed as cover-up. I find your worldview valid and thought-provoking.

You also manage to put a lot of passion into your writing, something which brings home the power and strength of your personality, and reflects the energy and sheer bloodymindedness which seems to have driven the engine, and allowed you to collect those special judo-honours alongside a huge amount of personal success in life.
I thought the sentence "I have found peace in my life" is very touching, and I wish you additional fulfillment through your writing. Backed.

Ame
Wolfmother

LCF Quartet wrote 432 days ago

This is a great book and Dean Kelly knows how to express his emotions. I keep coming back for inspiration.
Thanks for sharing, Dean.
Lucette- Ten Deep Footprints

zap wrote 519 days ago

Hi Dean,

After meeting you in the forums a couple of times, I thought I'd come and check out your book. Although I was pleased to find that this deals with my favourite subject - childbirth, I was also upset for you to find how wrong it all went. Unfortunately, your birth was not the happy event it should have been. The emotions and thoughts which usually accompany a birth still come flowing from the pages even after all these years and the story seems so fresh and up front, as if it had happened recently . . . which makes this a very touching read.

I liked the writing for its unconventional approach and its immediacy. I shall back your book in a couple of days.

Ame

carol jefferies wrote 522 days ago

Hi Dean,

Thank you for your very moving account of your life in 'Rough Justice.' The overwhelming feeling that writing about your birth and childhood evokes is one of great anger.

You certainly come from a very strong, supportive family. The 1960's brought a new 'fashion' for home deliveries, until sadly the rate of stillbirths and birth trauma increased so women were encouraged to deliver babies once more in hospital. GP's have and still do get paid by the government to provide antenatal care to a pregnant woman, even if care is shared with a hospital where she is seen antenatally and delivered, and even if the community midwife delivers the baby.

I would have liked to have more description about Doctor Bastible. Why did he stick to his decision about delivering you at home in spite of substantial risk to both mother and child?

I thought you described your primary school well, and I especially liked how you wrote about its distinctive smell.

I am so glad that you have a loving wife, and a good, life-long friend in Paul. Congratulations that you have achieved so much in Judo, and that it has become a way of dealing with your anger.

As a former midwife, who is also now disabled with stubborn doctors, I would like to speak to you further about your delivery.

Take Care,

Carol

LCF Quartet wrote 522 days ago

Hi Dean,
I just read Chapter 7 and I think it's one of the most dynamic chapters, as it's full of sincerity and you've reflected your inner world in a strong manner. Thanks for sharing. Your story is full of vibe, feelings and analysis of life which draws me in like a magnet.

Stay well for now,
Lucette- Ten Deep Footprints

dlawrence wrote 523 days ago

Dean,

I stumbled across your book and simply had to read and comment. As others have stated, you write from the heart and with incredible passion. I've given you 6 stars and will put this on my shelf soon, I promise! And I cannot wait to read more - even though I've used about ten tissues so far!

Best wishes,

Dani

K E Shaw wrote 524 days ago

Hi Dean,
Just finished reading up to chp 4 - and first of all I want to say that I think this has great potential. You have a story to tell, and do so in a style that feels completely from the heart and brings a sense of immediacy to your narrative. I liked the acknowledgments - it gives us a bit of insight in to who you are now, before the story takes us back to how 'it all began'. I think for this site, it might be an idea to put them in their own seperate chapter with a heading, but it's not essential.

I see most of the comments mention grammar issues, and I did notice them, but I set that aside to just get into the story. All you need is a copy-editor to work with to sort out those details.

What really grabbed me about this is that at no point did I ever feel any kind of self-pity in this - you write in a clear, strong voice - and your undertandable anger at that particular doctor and his colleague comes through with passion.

I loved the details of your grandparents - the good and the bad - there was a great deal I could identify with here (I have working-class Irish background, and some of your relatives sound alot like some of mine!).

Helen McAvoy sounds like a remarkable woman, it was no small thing back in those days for a woman to decide to leave her husband and go it alone, even if he was an alcoholic abuser. She must have been a really strong, determined lady.
Patrick Kelly reminds me of both my great uncles - both Patricks (Uncle Paddys - lol).

Your parents deserve nothing but respect for the way in which they coped - these days it's hard for people to understand how things were back then, even though it's not that long ago. I remember my own grandparents and parents never, ever even thought of questioning the wisdom and authority of someone like a doctor, or a priest. They were 'authority', and given far more respect than they often deserved.

Chapter 4 gave a bit of 'light relief', depicting the beginnings of your friendship with Paul (and Barry) and how that helped you to be and feel normal - looking forward to reading more about the two of you.

Overall, this is really good stuff - it's actually quite heart-wrenching, but you write it in such a matter-of-fact way. Keep going until you get it published - with an editor to work with to whip things into to shape, I can see it happening..

I'll keep reading, because I'd like to see how you've handled all this, and because after just 4 chp's of a biography I think it's too soon to comment on things like over-all structure. (I say this because I was wondering if you should rather save the references to the court case for later in the book, but have to wait and see how you've structured the later chapters.)

wishing you all the best with this
Kim
The Seventh Gate

EHarkin wrote 528 days ago

Nowadays it is unethical NOT to report doctors and nurses. It's called whistleblowing and we are encouraged to do it. Fortunately I've not needed to but I've heard some stories. I've read the first two chapters. At first I thought why would anyone be interested in reading somebody's life story? I read an old man's once and it was really waffly and boring. I didn't get past the first page. With yours, I will be definitely be reading til the end. Well done.

Jaclyn Aurore wrote 542 days ago

reviewed chap 3 - some edits needed and i'd be happy to make some suggestions as well... but this chapter warmed and broke my heart at the same time...
i wish i had more to offer, but i'm not very knowledgeable on the subject of non-fiction

sorry,
Jaclyn
It Never Happened

Jaclyn Aurore wrote 549 days ago

CWOG'd first chap

This is a bit daunting... I really enjoy your pitch so I know a little bit about what's to come and I'm anxious to read more. I will make two suggestions thus far.
1. put your acknowledgements in it's own chapter at the very end of the book. I know they normally go at the front, but scrolling through it all looking for a start might deter people from continuing on
2. end your chapters with a big punch. I like that this would be a good place to stop... but if you end on a "duh duh duhhhh" moment, that encourages readers to continue to the next chapter...

having that said, this strategy might not work for a non-fiction... it's just something to think about i guess.

will read more later!

Jaclyn
It Never Happened
My Life Without Me

LCF Quartet wrote 556 days ago

Hi Dean,
I just finished reading Chapter 4-5-6, and I'm glad to see that you keep your narratives as dynamic as possible.

You've introduced Paul, your cousin and other people around you (including their parents) to help us visualize your surroundings and the circumstances.

I like the way you describe your feelings and 6 stars remain!
Best wishes,
Lucette- Ten Deep Footprints

Jane Mauret wrote 559 days ago

Hello, Dean
First a few technical issues.
I think you say somewhere you weren’t good at English but for your book to progress, you really need to get an English expert to fix up the errors because they are really detracting greatly from your writing. It just makes it that much harder to concentrate on the interesting story when errors pepper the page so much.
Examples:
Odd things like a capital on Ten.
best at- working (hyphens attached to words).
Commas missing quite often.
That fine by me = that was fine by me (?)
His lose not mine = his loss not mine.
Newly born = newly-born
Nor pay for by him = nor paid for by him
Watch using all capitals for a whole sentence. Better to use italics for emphasis.
60’s = 1960s
Rivitters = rivetters?
Relivately = relatively
I am wondering why your spell-checker did not show up misspellings like this?

However, all that aside, you really are a natural storyteller and that is a tremendous asset, especially when writing from our own lives.
Many people have stories to tell but they don’t know how to put them across (which is why so many celebrities have ghost-writers and such).
You also have a sense of (black) humour, eg:
“only so many pairs of old shoes and old clothes a household can burn in the fire”
“luxury on an extended holiday”
Sailor’s nickname funny little story; such tidbits add greatly to characters and the book’s appeal overall.
It is always good to read about how people have succeeded in life after very inauspicious beginnings.
I really urge you to get the errors fixed up since you are competing with so many other books which have been edited for grammar and punctuation. I think people would be interested in your story but no agent or editor will bother much past the first couple of paragraphs because of mistakes.
I hope you see I am positive about your book’s worth.
Best of luck and bye for now.
Jane Mauret
MALDIVES MUSLIMS ME

Kathie Bondar wrote 559 days ago

Hello Dean
You have a compelling story to tell, and you should take some creative writing curses to tell it.
All the best, Kathie Bondar

Kathie Bondar wrote 559 days ago

Hello Dean
You have a compelling story to tell, and you should take some creative writing curses to tell it.
All the best, Kathie Bondar

tarasimone wrote 561 days ago

Dean, I read your whole manuscript over the last couple of days. I think you have an interesting story to tell. That said, as a reader, there are a few things I think could improve it quite a bit.

I found the language of Rough Justice easy to read and easy to understand. Some sectsion were very well written and others not so much. There were a lot of spelling, grammatical and punctuation errors that need attention.

It seems there may have been some errors while uploading, as the order of chapters seems out, and one of the chapters appears to be there three times. Having everything in chronological order would be nice. Seems to be a rather large chunk missing from almost teens to later adult life.

The writing in capitals I think should be changed. Either just to normals text, or perhaps italicised.

Through each chapter you often give your thoughts and feelings on what it is like to look back on it now, I think that could be better as a summary at the end of each chapter, and perhaps this will help you make sure you're not repeating sentiments too often.

Overall, I found this an interesting read, and I wish you all the best as you continue to write and share your story. I hope that you are able to come to peace with your rough start in life.

Tara
Wife to Brett Adams, Dark Matter

LCF Quartet wrote 563 days ago

Hi Dean,
The more I read the more I respect and love Margaret and James Kelly...great parents, and strong people with hope.
Your writing is honest and comes from the heart, as I'm glad to see that each chapter is written with emotions and you've successfully reflected them on the pages.

Best wishes,
Lucette- Ten Deep Footprints

MSio wrote 567 days ago

Very intriguing life, and although you endured a lot you made it. It is worth to tell it, and encourage people who go through the same circumstances. I am almost certain that everyone knows someone who is disable. You have courage, a lot of it, and you went back to visit the school that you hated so much. Keep going you have a life that puts all of us to shame for complaining about little things in life. There are few typos, and, my opinion, good start so keep it chronological. Utilize commas and periods as well. For example the very first sentence, I made few minor changes with the necessary commas “It was a cold 3rd of February 1965 night, the wind was doing its best to rearrange the curtains, the floor was cold, the walls were cold and damp, and the occupants of 90 Runfold Avenue were freezing. It was the kind of cold that got inside the morrow of the bones chilling every fiber of your being.” High stars of an extraordinary story. I will give you more feedback in the near future if you wish.
Maria
Midday Drawing

MSio wrote 567 days ago

Very intriguing life, and although you endured a lot you made it. It is worth to tell it, and encourage people who go through the same circumstances. I am almost certain that everyone knows someone who is disable. You have courage, a lot of it, and you went back to visit the school that you hated so much. Keep going you have a life that puts all of us to shame for complaining about little things in life. There are few typos, and, my opinion, good start so keep it chronological. Utilize commas and periods as well. For example the very first sentence, I made few minor changes with the necessary commas “It was a cold 3rd of February 1965 night, the wind was doing its best to rearrange the curtains, the floor was cold, the walls were cold and damp, and the occupants of 90 Runfold Avenue were freezing. It was the kind of cold that got inside the morrow of the bones chilling every fiber of your being.” High stars of an extraordinary story. I will give you more feedback in the near future if you wish.
Maria
Midday Drawing

ShirleyGrace wrote 577 days ago

Dean: Realclub review
As one Kelly to another...I read your work some time ago and was impressed with your strength and piss and vinegar. (a familiar old saying) Seems to be you have been through hell and back and lived to tell the tale. I gave you high stars then and I give them to you now. I love the humor and the nerve you have to tell it.
The best of luck
Shirley Grace

LCF Quartet wrote 580 days ago

Hi Dean,
I just read the acknowledgements part and the first chapter to have an overall feel of ROUGH JUSTICE, and I have to say that I got hooked in immediately with your vibrant descriptions and sincere first person voice.

The acknowledgement part at the beginning was good but please correct STUBBORNNESS (with a double n). These minor issues unfortunately become big issues when you present your book to a seasoned agent.

The first chapter flows well, I liked your sense of giving some back-story of your mother and father in the '60's as well. Your narrative possesses a smooth structure and it's good that you started it with a chronological scale, since the day of your birth. I liked the authencity of your plot and the realism you injected into it, saying things the way they are -which adds a good quality and reads well.

High stars and you're in my WL for further comments,
Best wishes,
Lucette Cohen Fins - Ten Deep Footprints



PenInHand wrote 641 days ago

Wow. This is well written, captivating, heartbreaking and inspiring. You truly are amazing, both as a man and as a writer.

Kirstie wrote 676 days ago

Dean
I have read the first few chapters of your book and was captivated. Your story is heart-warming and heart-breaking. It is lightened by your wonderful sense of humour. I admire your strength in facing the extraordinary difficulties you have faced, but most of all, I admire your honestly. You do not pretend to be a perfect person, you admit your faults and readers can relate to you because of that.
There are quite a lot of punctuation and grammatical errors in these chapters and I think it would be worth having someone help you edit your work so that the book reaches its full potential. This is a story that needs to be heard
Best of luck with it.
Kirstie

David Price wrote 679 days ago

Dean, have just read the first 3 chapters, and I am very moved by your incredible story. The most tragic thing of all, it seems to me, is that your mother was deprived of the help she was fully entitled to, and as a result of this negligence by the doctors' concerned, you were born disabled.
From day one, you have had to struggle to survive, but survive you did, and one of the most touching things about the way you have written your account of family and personal struggles is that you do so with not only a desire to see justice done, but with a cheeky sense of humour. Your spirit really shines through.
I love your title by the way, and think it encapsulates your story perfectly. I'm giving this high stars, and look forward to reading more soon.
David
MASTER ACT: a memoir

Debbie R wrote 684 days ago

Dean,

Your story is both heart-breaking and uplifting. Heart-breaking, because the disabilities you were born with need not have happened and uplifting in the way you chose to battle against all the odds. You show true courage and a determined spirit that many of us are fortunate enough never to have to do.

I found the 'thank you's' at the beginning both informative and extremely moving. You had a lot of 'good' people around you as you grew up, offering support.

There is some classic humour on these pages - You point out that your parents were a perfect couple because they were both CELTIC FC supporters. I won't write everything that made me smile here but the humour was a good balance with so many sad facts. Youe write with honesty and you pull-no-punches (probably not the best phrase, given that you pulled a lot of punches in your life!). But I think you know what I mean.

I have read to chapter 6 and hope you get justice in the end.

A great read and story that deserves to be told. Some typos and grammer that need looking at but they really don't take anything from the story. YOUR story.

Thank you for sharing it.

Top stars and wishing you all the very best with it.
Debbie

RaineyC wrote 684 days ago

What a story, Dean! I commend your courage and strength. It is an amazing achievement to write this. You have a certain flair for expression, and this has potential to be worked into a commercial product, but it needs a lot of work and strong editing. You repeat yourself often and also over-explain at times (repeating the same thing in different words). Lots of sentences need reconstruction and ther are typos, grammatical errors etc. All of those can be fixed with editing. Also, the use of capital letters is ill-advised. Avoid them completely other than for the beginning of the first word in a sentence or a name. And although I admire you for acknowledging so lovingly all those you care for, the Dedication is far too long and will put many readers off reading further.
That said, what you have achieved is truly impressive, and I salute you for exposing these ugly truths about the medical profession and the justice system. I agree completely that these things need to be revealed. Stories like yours must be told. For that reason, I hope you can revise it and have it edited so that it reaches publishable standard. Perhaps Harper True Life will take it up, as they have the writing staff to do that for you. I suggest you contact Harper True Life. They have a separate website on which you can give them a summary of your story.
Best of luck with it.
RaineyC
The Pencil Case (also an expose of injustice)

Emma.L.H. wrote 686 days ago

Wow, Dean, this is a gripping read. It was sometimes hard to remember that this isn't fiction and I felt almost guilty for enjoying it because this is actually your life. You've done a great job with your descriptions and your overall narrative voice is very smooth and enjoyable. This could do with a good edit but even so, it didn't distract me and I found myself reading far more than I intended. There are some great one-liners throughout: The description of James McAvoy being called 'Sailor' because he was always pissed and Luxury being on an extended holiday - witty and very cleverly written. All the very best with this and I take my hat off to you for having the courage to document what you've been through because I don't think I'll ever be able to do it. Highly starred, well done.

Rachelsarah wrote 687 days ago

Here goes with chapter two.
You obviously have a flair for writing, the text gives just enough imformation regarding the birth and how badly your mother was treated. i found it easy to follow and for the most part the words flowed well.
Here are my points
1) Watch the typos.
2) There are sentences that need restructured, look back over story and add in full stops and coma's wherever nessisary.
3) Have to mention the capitals, your writing is powerful enough without the capitals (same goes for exclamation marks.
4) Sometimes you can be repetetive, for example you mention your mothers height a couple of times. Instead of actually saying it you could say something like "Her tiny frame made childbirth difficult".
I hope this helps, I really enjoyed reading this.

Racheal McGillivary wrote 689 days ago

You are so brave to have written this. It takes a lot of courage to write your story, and I want to thank you for sharing it with me. You did something I could never do: relive nightmares of your past. That takes so much heart. I like how you conveyed your emotions. I think this was great and I am so sorry about things you have dealt with.

But you had people there to love you and carry you on, and that is so important.

Great story!

Made me cry!

Many stars!

Racheal

Lenny Banks wrote 689 days ago

Hi Dean,

I read chapter 4 & 5. You recount an interesting and troubled childhood, it is interesting to me that through all the suffering you do pay credit to those who were supportive and caring (they do exist). Not wanting to offend; some of the swearing feels unessasary, it makes you appear angry and aggressive, when I am sure you just want to communicate your experience. I found it very interesting and I wish you good luck with it, you are a strong person who has overcome a great deal and I am sure others will find direction in your work and experience.

Kind Regards and Best Wishes

Lenny Banks
Tiide and Time: At the Rock

Morgan H wrote 692 days ago

Dean,

I had to read "Rough Justice", as it is your autobiography. I saw a few word choice errors in the first chapter, but easily remedied.
I love that you have made so much of your life, as you had many hurdles from birth.
Your story is a wonderful reminder that no matter what circumstances we are dealt with in life, there are wonderful people such as yourself that overcome.

Thank you for sharing your story.

Morgan H xx

Connie King wrote 694 days ago

Dean, after reading every chapter of Rough Justice I have come to the conclusion that you are a one hell of a survivor! You certainly didn't have an easy time coming into this world, but you one of the lucky ones, Dean - you came from strong stock, Granddad Patrick Kelly being one. It was lovely to read how close you both were, and Mrs McAvoy, your Grandma.
Now she sounded a wonderful woman, full of wisdom, teaching you for endless hours how to talk and walk when you were a small lad. She wasn't going to let cerebal palsy get in the way of her grandson going on to live a fulfilled life, in which you now have with your beautiful wife, Lil, by your side. Sounds like you've got a marriage made in heaven.

I especially enjoyed reading about you and Paul's friendship from the time you were both nippers and that even today you're still like brothers. Lovely! Mind, I did laugh about you giving those kids who'd poked fun of you a bashing.
I felt sorry for you hiding under the seat on the school bus feeling embarrassed that the bullies, if they saw you, would pick on you and call you names. Oh, it must have been terrible for you.
Epilepsy : how could those teaches put you in a cold bath after having a seizure? How cruel. And that horrible physiotherapist abusing you like that. Just terrible. No wonder your childhood's affected you growing up - made you very angry on times, which then got you into lots of fights. I think even today you're probably still fighting the demons and all because you were unlucky to get Dr Bastible to deliver you. Never mind wanting him struck off, he should have been strung up by the neck. Destroying a baby's life, what an irresponsible man, with no regard for your mother's life or her newborn. But Dean, you've been very lucky in life though by having devoted parents in James and Margaret.

I don't blame you as a lad kicking off, Dean, I really don't. The appalling way you were treated at that specialist school for children with disabilities was disgusting, but with the help from your family friends and lovely wife, you've turned out a very lovely guy. I wish you health and happiness in life.
Connie xx
Streets Apart

Rachelsarah wrote 703 days ago

I hope that it will be of more help to you to comment on each individual chapter than to give an overall comment so here goes.
I've been drawn in by the first chapter. I found it to be honest and entertaining (ie, what your father said to the pub landlord). I felt I could relate to your early life as we were born into harsh conditions too, and my father delivered milk from an early age in scotland. Also my fathers father sounds very similar to your mothers father. All these points made it more enjoyable for me.
There are two points i would like to go through. I think things to this effect have already been said but there's no harm in repeating them
1) There are typos throughout the story, for example a 't' instead of 'to' and things like that. but its easy to fix that.
2) There are times when you put sentences in capitals. I think you should let the power of the words put your point across instead of using capitals as it can be a bit distracting.

However I liked your style of writing and always admire people who are willing to share their own life through writing.

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