Book Jacket

 

rank 2740
word count 10028
date submitted 30.06.2010
date updated 02.01.2013
genres: Fiction, Young Adult, Popular Cultu...
classification: moderate
incomplete

Rounding Third

Renee Gravelle

Rounding Third blurs the line between cliches like "Be your best self" and hard truths of exclusion. Good will and humor create success--but whose?

 

Rounding Third is the story of Marisol, a young Latina newcomer to a small community who struggles to find her niche as a volunteer softball coach and paid art teacher.

During the three years of the story, she acquires a series of intangible successes that ease the gradual destruction of a more tangible but elusive success.

The consequences of “thinking like a woman,” as one character accuses, in a community that professes coziness while subtly excluding the wrong people, force Marisol to adjust her goals and dreams. Though she sees herself as an insider, she is continuously pushed back by those who persist in viewing her as an outsider.

Her unique coaching style works for the team goofballs, seasoned players, and newcomers, but it annoys some of the community stalwarts—the real insiders.

Navigating a world that seems to be filled with allies or enemies challenges Marisol to preserve her sense of self-worth within a community of people whose complexities resist such dichotomization.

This is a portion of the complete (102K) novel.

 
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tags

gay women, latinas, softball, softball players, sports fiction, women in sports

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13 comments

 

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lionel25 wrote 1348 days ago

Renee, your first chapter is a smooth, enjoyable read. I can't fault anything in that section.

Happy to back your work.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

lizjrnm wrote 1354 days ago

Awesome! As a female coach for many years I can so relate to your journey! Easy to back - well written and unique! Backed

Liz
The Cheech Room

Benjamin Dancer wrote 1365 days ago

I had the chance to read all of what's here. Other folks have pointed out your strong and weak points. Let me just say I appreciated the time you let us spend with the characters. I backed the book some time ago, when I first saw it and wanted to come back today and say thanks and leave a message in your in box. Good luck!

Benjamin Dancer

A Knight wrote 1368 days ago

Fresh, appealing, and vivid right from the start. You pull us in effortlessly with rich descriptions and excellent characterisation. I particularly like the level of detail, engaging without blurring the reader's enjoyment of the story.

Shelved with pleasure earlier today :)
Abi xxx

Barry Wenlock wrote 1383 days ago

Hi renee, I liked your tale of the building of a female ball team. I did notice a few small nits, so I hope it's helpful to tell you.
1. four-leafed clover repeated twice in a paragraph.
2.bleachers repeated five times in close proximity.
3. bleachers repeated again 3 more times.
I liked meeting the team, discovering something of their characters and aspirations. Great, the way she got the job, too -- very casual.
I know nothing about baseball, but I enjoyed your story.
Backed with pleasure,
Barr,
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Mr. Nom de Plume wrote 1386 days ago

An interesting storyline featuring softball and coaching coupled with wonderful character development makes this work have a great future. Backed

Su Dan wrote 1387 days ago

a lovely written story. good flow, with some interesting sentences. l wish you well with this; could do well; on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

Elizabeth Wolfe wrote 1388 days ago

Hi Renee, You have an excellent pitch. But I would break it into paragraphs for easier reading. I find that a long paragraph (anyone's, not just yours) loses my attention by the end. Also, you have a lot of quotes in your pitch. I don't think you need any of them. I would recommend taking them out. Otherwise, I like the content. You list comedy as a genre, but there isn't anything comic in your pitch, so I'd add something to spice it up a bit. Very nice job! BACKED -Elizabeth Wolfe (Memories of Glory)

soutexmex wrote 1390 days ago

Welcome aboard, Renee. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. I'm a bit of a pitch doctor, having read thousands of pitches in my time on this website, so I want to share my insight here with you. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. The short pitch TELLS instead of SHOWS. The long pitch needs to be broken down into smaller paragraphs so it reads faster. Perhaps end it with a question. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year and have the most commented book on the website, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

SusieGulick wrote 1392 days ago

Dear Renee, I got so excited when I saw that you had backed, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not." :) Thanks so very much. :) Since I have already backed your 2 books, I will put your book on my watchlist. Could you please take a moment to back my completed unedited memoir version, "Tell Me True Love Stories?" I'd be ever so grateful. :) Thank you. :) Love, Susie :)
authonomy quote: "Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."
Here is the response I received from authonomy concerning backing:
When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved."

Burgio wrote 1392 days ago

THREE STRIKES
I like stories about ordinary people from small towns who do ordinary things like coach softball (no vampires, no demons) so your pitch jumped out at me. You have a mix of good characters here; Marisol’s struggle to adjust to the community rings true. On top of that you have an engaging writing style: fresh and clear. Makes this a good read. I’m adding it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

name falied moderation wrote 1392 days ago

Dear Renee,
Funny, clever, original, well crafted and so good...Just a thought for your long pitch, and that is to put paras in. This is the first read your potential publisher may have of your work and it could give the impression of being too long, it is not but the more interest you get the better. And this book deserves the interest. CONGRATS on a good read.
BACKED by me for sure.....My book is a different genre but crossing over gave me the opportunity to comment and back your talent. Please take the time to comment on mine so I may improve my skill, and if you feel so back it.

Best of luck
Denise
The Letter

SusieGulick wrote 1392 days ago

Dear Renee, I love your story of being accepted in a new town or school - perseverence paid off. :) You have nice crisp paragraphs & dialogue & a wonderful story. :) We've already backed each other's 1st books. :) Thank you. Could you please take a moment to back my 2nd memoir book? Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

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