Book Jacket

 

rank 1038
word count 127052
date submitted 16.07.2010
date updated 26.03.2012
genres: Literary Fiction, Thriller, Romance...
classification: moderate
complete

Apostle

Lacey Crowe

How do you draw any existing humanity from a murderer? What—if not a taste of their own medicine— could make a homicidal sociopath repent?

 

The final death in a family that had been dwindled down to two by the abuse of alcohol and lack of love has turned Beth into a young drifter. A guitar, a voice and the clothes on her back are all that accompany her on her aimless search for something better than thievery and vagrancy. This search leads her into a partnership with a homicidal sociopath.

Immortality has been the focus of Benji’s life since the ill-grieved death of his mother. Too many people have died as a statistic to shortly after become nameless and forgotten. Death is his art and murder in obscure ways is his life. With his prodigy he hopes to secure an eternal name for his victims.

But then Beth disappears.

She tastes the physical karma of her actions while Benji reaps the emotional toll that comes with the disappearance and presumed death of a loved one.

Apostle is a literary thriller, told by characters you hate to love and introduces a man not so unlike them whom you will love to hate. It is a story of lessons learned, a depiction of the art of manipulation and a dark illustration of the strength of love.

 
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tags

betrayal, fiction, revenge, romance, thriller

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131 comments

 

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Chapters

44

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Birthday Present

So they'll still talk about me when I die

Entry November 25, 2002

 

I'd locked the door so that no one could disturb me. Evidently, that didn't work. Sam rapped at the door and threatened to break it down several times before I finally shouted at her.

"Fuck off!" I screamed.

"No!" she said. “Benji, you need to get out of there now. We have to go to the police."

I turned the light to my bedside clock on for the first time in… well, I don't know how long. It shone green, haunting numbers at me that indicated it was three o'clock in the morning. Of the date I wasn't sure.

"Go home and go to bed," I said. "It's late."

That's when she turned into a monster. Sam's fists morphed into massive balls of thunder and continually crashed against the door. If I didn't open it I'm certain she would’ve eventually knocked it down.

"Open the fucking door!" she screamed.

Her voice was like a distant mouse with lungs clogged in rain from the storm.

I covered my eyes with the palm of my hand as I opened the door. As soon as Sam was inside, I shut it behind her to sit in the darkness again. I plopped back down on the bed and let her rant while I stuffed my face in the pillow.

"You're just going to give up?" she said angrily. "That knife didn't prove anything. We don't even know if she was ever there, Benji."

"She would’ve at least called to say that she wasn't coming back. She wouldn't do this to me. No matter how mad she was."

"I agree," she said.

She sat on the edge of my bed. I know this only because I felt the corner by my feet droop down, my face still in the pillow. She sighed again and put her hand on my calf.

"That's why I think that we need to call the police now. She could be really hurt somewhere."

As much as my mind wanted to shut down and roll along the lonely, black highway to maniac city—and as much as my body wanted to remain in a voluntary paralytic state—I knew that she was right. Reluctantly, I pulled the metal chain from the stem of my bedside lamp and the light loomed dimly over half of Sam's face.

Her eyes were puffy and red and the skin beneath them sagged like she too hadn't slept. With the glint of light I saw a pool of sadness glistening over her brown eyes. She wiped her cheek with her wrist as a tear fell.

"They have the tools to find her,” she said. “We don’t.”

In the time I'd spent lying in a depression, masochistically attempting to recall Beth's voice through the remembrance of songs, I found that moment the hardest. Looking at Sam and seeing what the absence of Beth could bring made me ache. She thought and felt just as I did. For a moment, Sam and I were the same person.

"I can't hear her voice," I blurted out. "I've tried. I imagine all the songs she sings but I can't hear her."

I knew how ridiculous I sounded. But Sam didn't seem taken aback by it. There was no confusion over her face after my foolish confession. She didn’t look at me like I was pathetic, which is how I felt. Her jaw clenched and her chin dimpled as more tears erupted in her eyes.

"I think of the Etta James songs she sang,” I continued. “And no matter how often I've heard Beth sing it, I hear Etta James."

Sam wiped her eyes with both wrists this time and I heard the sobs coming from her chest, muffled and suffocated as she tried to hold them in.

"She loved Etta James," I said.

Sam's head shot up and she frowned at me.

"Please don't talk about her like she's dead.”

“I think she is.”

 

 

 

Day 13: A Lovely Challenge

 

 

"It is now the twenty-sixth of November," Kyle said.

 He marked it with his finger through the mildew on the mirror.

"The stroke of midnight," he added.

It was the first thing he'd actually said to me since he entered the shower room, saving his breath from the fight he'd just had with his sister.

"You said you didn't want to wash her!" Sarah had screamed. "You said that I could do it!"

"Well, she's clean isn't she?" he said.

"I was taking care of her! You said you wouldn't come in here!"

On and on they screamed and cursed at each other over my body, which had pruned and paled in the water. 

Sarah left in a huff, shooting a quick glance at me with eyes that repented both failure and recent lies. I scorned her internally for looking at me that way, justifying that her intentions were not kind of heart as her face was attempting to lead me to believe.

"You know, I'd planned to kill you on the thirteenth day," Kyle said.

I quickly thought back to when Benji brought Megan home. It was the thirteenth. But it was early morning when they captured me. It was the fourteenth. I looked to the mirror and eyed the slowly disappearing numbers behind Kyle's head. Today was the twenty-sixth. This was my thirteenth day in hell.

You would think that this realization would bring fear with it, but it didn't. I was relieved that I might finally meet my demise. But he quickly shattered my relief.

"But, as luck would have it, my birthday is in two days," he said.

He limped toward me. I felt myself backing away, sliding along the wet floor with my heels digging into the pools and slipping beneath me. With every inch I backed away, he gained two on me. The pain in my side hindered my movements and my breath. I stopped and glowered at him as he continued toward me. Where was I planning on going anyway? I was already backed into a corner I couldn't ever get out of. There was no escaping. I knew that.

"So I thought I would keep you for another couple of days," he said.

He shrugged and twisted his mouth in an uneven smirk. His tongue came out and circled his mouth, the tip white. His bottom lip turned purple and tucked under his sharp teeth as he bit into it and eyed my body.

"You'll be a beautiful gift for me," he said.

He sucked a deep breath in, smelling the honeydew of the air and closing his eyes. He knelt down in front of me with an exhale. He dropped his crutch and put a supporting hand on the floor tiles. His knuckles were curled up, fingers like the legs of a spider so that his palm wouldn't slip. His other hand found its way to my knee and he smiled as he bent down and kissed my calf.

"I don't care what you do anymore," I said. "I don’t care."

His lips brushed against the side of my leg and he rested his chin on my knee. When he looked up, his eyes mocked a lost child and he pouted his disgusting, purple lips. My palms impulsively pushed into the floor behind my back and my stomach muscles clenched on my ribs.

It hurt to breath. It hurt to talk. It hurt to move. I couldn't even let myself feel any repulsion because cowering and contracting pained me too.

"You don't care if I touch you...," he traced his fingertips down to the middle of my thigh, "here?"

I stared at him with dead eyes.

"What about here?" he asked, trailing his fingers up to my hipbone.

I clenched my jaw and winced in pain as I closed my eyes. I brought them back to meet his with a fierceness that I could feel being channelled through me.

"Here?" he said, touching my pelvic bone.

I shook my head and held back the tears that were burning behind my eyes and threatening to explode out.

"You must care if I touch you here," he said, feeling my chest.

"I don't care what you do," I said in an even voice.

He laughed and twisted his mouth as though he were chewing something. I thought that the inside of his mouth must be torn to shreds. He closed his eyes tightly and his nose curled up to his eyebrows in an ugly crinkle as he lifted himself to his knees. Sitting on his feet for support, he placed both his hands on my inner thighs and spread my legs apart. Then his hands swam down the tops of my legs to my hips and he lifted himself over me, planting his palms on the floor beside my head.

His chin touched mine and I turned my head to the side as he ran his pointed nose along my neck, up and over my ear to my hair. Suddenly the freshness went away from my locks and in an instant my hair was filthy again.

He kissed my cheek and then brought his lips over to meet mine. 

"You don't care if I do this," he whispered.

He brought a fist up and down quickly, punching my broken ribs. A crunch of bones echoed against the walls of the hollow room.

I screamed and brought my teeth down over his bottom lip, feeling the tips of my enamel meet as I chomped right through.

"Fuck!" he screamed.

 He spit blood into my face and fell down on top of me as his arms gave out. His hands slithered along the tiles. His body plopped up and back down several times before he could push himself all the way up to his knees. Then he took his cane and raised it in both hands high above his head like a sword.

He screamed as he brought it down over my shoulder both in agony and laboriously. I cringed, determined to hold my cries in to betray him of that satisfaction. He sucked in a breath and raised it up again, his smile concealed in red that dripped down his chin and swam over his neck.

"Motherfucker!" he shouted as it brought it down again, this time whacking the scar that he branded on my chest.

Another blow met my broken ribs and another cracked down on the side of my forehead while the walls echoed his sacrilegious hollers.  

"Fucking bitch!” he screamed. Motherfucker!" 

And a number of incoherent curses followed.

He finally stopped, dropped the crutch and fell back to sit on his feet, clenching his back with his hands like a old man would to stand after a long period of sitting. Tears were streaming down his face, which was more than he could say for me. My cheeks were dry, though the fire in my throat and behind my eyes warned me that a flood would soon break loose from the dam.

The room grew silent except for Kyle's breaths. This was both taunting and satisfying. I was glad that he was maimed, but I was also envious of the breaths he was able to fill his lungs with while mine were so short and painful.

His broken and repulsive voice sliced through the silence and my head spun in dizziness at his first words.

"I think I love you," he said, following it with a short laugh. "Really, I think I do."

I didn't say anything. I had no intention of wasting my breath on him when it pained me so much to push one word out. What would I say anyway? I love you too? Not even close. I would say, "I think I loathe you. Really, I absolutely do." Maybe I would’ve said that. 

"You have no idea how many girls I've done this to," he breathed. "Not one of them put up a fight like you."

I didn't like that he was praising me. It only meant that the satisfaction of my defeat was greater than all of the others. He'd succeeded above his own expectations for himself. I was a lovely challenge that he concurred.

"It's a shame I didn't meet you before I tried to kill you," he laughed. "Maybe you could’ve joined us. You would’ve been a great addition."

I watched his eyes travel down to my stomach and I instinctively covered it with my arms.

"Can I ask you a question?" he said, smiling. "What would you do if I let you go or you escaped or something?"

The familiarity of this was way too painful to handle.

His grin stretched across his face, half of his lips up higher than the other half and caked in quickly drying blood.

"What would you do with our baby?" he asked.

That's when the threat of my tears was worst. I could feel my nostrils flaring in and out as I tried to hold my sobs. I found myself choking.

Our baby? I hadn't even thought of that. Probably because I was certain I wouldn't live to have the baby anyway even if he had impregnated me.

"I'd murder it," I said, pushing it out in almost a whisper. "I would never let that thing out of me alive."

He laughed as he struggled to his feet, the crutch slipping along the wet floor. 

"So there's absolutely no point in keeping you alive then," he said.

Like that was ever a possibility.

The sudden sound of large feet scampering like a stampede down the hallway silenced him. I propped myself up onto my elbows and both of our heads turned to the door of the shower room as it flung open and crashed against the inside wall.

Tanya stood in the doorway panting and holding her stomach, a pool of blood erupting from between her fingers.

"What the fuck!" Kyle shouted and hurriedly limped over to her. "What the fuck happened?"

She tried to talk but instead she coughed out blood as more screaming and pattering feet were echoing from the hallway. Multiple voices overlapped each other so that I couldn't tell whose lips were projecting the shrieks. I would have guessed that a crowd of about thirty had disrupted the building, that's how incoherent and hostile the shouts were.

Kyle looked from me and back to Tanya, who was like a demon fountain continually spitting out blood. His face flushed with red and he stomped out into the hallway in complete animosity.

Tanya fell against the door and looked at me like a dying friend would to a saviour. She opened her mouth and coughed one sentence out.

"Somebody released your girl."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapters

44

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Alonwi Carrovella wrote 633 days ago

Wow. Just read the final chapter and bawled like a little bitch. That was one hell of a ride you took me on, Lacey. It began with fear and revulsion, developed into morbid curiosity, blossomed into fascination and slowly became a sort of forbidden love for what should not be, by rights, something adored. I have sat in the dark, my heart pounding, listening to mysterious whispers and praying Benji isn't after me, I've smiled as I watched the love ignite and flare, awakening two young and confused people, I've cheered as blood is spilt, I wept bitter tears of anguish as a psychopath was maimed and raped by another, feeling that karma was a bitch and whilst realizing her punishment was only fate's retribution, still feeling she was greatly wronged, and at last, I cried and felt my heart implode as a man refused to change his ways, maybe frightened about loosing the one thing that has defined him all along, I can't be sure. I feel bereft. You've ended my secret world, my twisted and confusing haven. I've honestly never read anything as special as your book. Thank you so, so, so, so much for uploading your work here and sharing your secret land full of seductive darkness. I am, and will ever be, your adoring fan. I look forward to reading more of your work and have to comment, once again, that I feel somewhat empty now the journey is over.

Regards, admiration and love,
Bragitta Shay

Alonwi Carrovella wrote 847 days ago

Your story is spellbinding. I started a while ago and haven’t been able to read it until now which killed me! When I start reading your writing I literally forget I have to do things like sleep and wake up early in the morning and that I can’t actually sit in one spot reading all day because my mom would kill me. The thing that got me was there were so few mistakes in your writing that I noticed. When I read my work, I notice LOADS. Yours is so professional and fluent that the chapters fly by.

Your story line is somewhat disturbing, or at least it should be, but I’ve found myself cheering Beth on as she murders and maims and I feel elated as Benji paints his canvas red.

I’ve found myself looking at people and imagining how I’d kill them. I hope I don’t sound like a complete nut case.

You’ve managed to take a taboo and somehow make it seem glamorous and exciting and strangely fun and artistic. I’ve just finished chapter 15 and all I can say is I’ve gotta read it all! In your pitch you mention a “homicidal sociopath” but I LOVE your characters!

I’m in love with Beth. Absolutely taken by Benji and infuriated by the singing girl in the red dress. I want to run her through with Beth’s medieval gold hilted sword and watch her eyes loll as blood streams from the corner of her mouth. I want so badly for Benji and Beth to end up together and Miss Red Dress is fucking it all up!!!!!

I love the way you developed the relationship between Beth and Benji [how he buys “Bloody Beth for her too! Aaw!] and the journey Beth takes to becoming a highly loveable though psychopathic murderer. I like the way Benji is so caring towards Beth. It humanizes him. And the way Beth is able to form a friendship with Sam also lightens her character. It goes towards making them both even more endearing.

I sympathize with Beth because of what Benji awakened within her, rather than made her. A part of me wants to dislike him for this but, although Beth was led into it, she seems to enjoy it, so my resentment towards Benji lessens.

I still can’t get over how you’ve made what should be villains, heroes, and what should be victims, prey. I found my mindset changing completely and I actually began to share in Beth and Benji’s weird high.

Psychologically, emotionally, The Apostle pulls strings. I think this would make a brilliant movie! For the first time since Sweeny Todd, I find myself rooting for the murderers. And I must say that was largely due to Johnny Depp starring in the movie and well I think I love Benji more so DAMN! All I can say is I take my hat off to you! If I had it my way, you’d be a famous, published author and I’d have a first edition, autographed copy of your book and I’d be the official President of your fan club. As it is, I have no doubts that several of these things shall come to pass very soon.

Some of my favourite phrases in The Apostle:
*“Black heart blushes gray for” – LOVE It!
*“I’m a fucking ninja!” - =) [ha ha! Me too! Lol]
*“I’m sure even my bare ass would have blushed red” – LOVE IT!
*End of chapter 8 – “Within the following forty-eight hours I would commit my first murder” – what a hook!!!!! Brilliant!
*“I know only that a feeling has arisen inside of me that I’ve never felt before. Like a wave is washing through my lungs and drowning me; a strange flutter that makes me feel like I’m at a complete loss for words. And above all, I feel an immense urge to protect her from everything.” – this is so beautiful!
*“Thank you, Ian, for lending your body to me.” ha ha ha! Love it =)
*“Ya. Not you. I love ya like I would love a dog if I had one.” Love it!
*“The stink...was capable of inducing projectile vomit” – brilliant!
*“He watched over me like my own personal, dark angel.” I WANT ONE!


I’d wish you luck but you don’t need it.

All the best,
Bragitta Shay
“REGENESIS”
“The Prophecy”

lisawb wrote 982 days ago

From the title down to the finest detail on the cover to the print, this has quality. The writing ooze's suspense, horror and psychological depths. The atmosphere creeps out of the book and chills. The characters are brimming with personality, and the traumatic death of the Mother is threaded in with expertise and skill. The descriptions are concise yet powerful and the writing tight. This is clever writing as the book entices the reader to relate to the killers, and stirs up a turmoil of emotions. A book that ticks all the boxes a thriller should have and introduces additional concepts.

Backed and admired.

Lisa

Laura Freeman wrote 973 days ago

Oh my God! I just read this all the way through. What a cast of complex characters! It amazes me how you can make Benji and Beth, a pair of serial killers, so lovable. This is art at its best. I wish I had half the talent you have, sister. In reading this book, I experienced every emotion possible. I hear you're working on a couple of other books, and if that's true, I cannot wait to read them. You're just plain amazing, Lacey. Backed for sure!

Laura Freeman
Writers on the Storm

Daniel Manning wrote 979 days ago

A very complex story between a serial killer and a young hobo as they confront some home truths about each other. Benji was planning to leave the campsite, but he encounters Beth Holland a passing transient with beautiful features. There is nothing to be gained by killing her because he can't draw any power from someone, who is vacant and empty on the inside. The two have a lot in common, each exhibiting a taste for power inwardly, outwardly adoring each others looks, abhoring the conduct and behaviour of the other, until Beth expresss an interest in the power.
Great story as rationale seems to flitter away like someone had incensed a herd of buffalo to go on a stampede through the campsite.
Composition was faultless neither hurried or rushed, like it is so unnecessary to accelerate the process of writing just to reach a climax, when the real craft and skill is to prolong the writing into a substantial story.
Backed with pleasure.
Daniel Manning.
No Compatibility.

Angelos Alves wrote 418 days ago

Some sick shit but I like it. Nice.

Angelos Alves wrote 418 days ago

Some sick shit but I like it. Nice.

Alonwi Carrovella wrote 633 days ago

Wow. Just read the final chapter and bawled like a little bitch. That was one hell of a ride you took me on, Lacey. It began with fear and revulsion, developed into morbid curiosity, blossomed into fascination and slowly became a sort of forbidden love for what should not be, by rights, something adored. I have sat in the dark, my heart pounding, listening to mysterious whispers and praying Benji isn't after me, I've smiled as I watched the love ignite and flare, awakening two young and confused people, I've cheered as blood is spilt, I wept bitter tears of anguish as a psychopath was maimed and raped by another, feeling that karma was a bitch and whilst realizing her punishment was only fate's retribution, still feeling she was greatly wronged, and at last, I cried and felt my heart implode as a man refused to change his ways, maybe frightened about loosing the one thing that has defined him all along, I can't be sure. I feel bereft. You've ended my secret world, my twisted and confusing haven. I've honestly never read anything as special as your book. Thank you so, so, so, so much for uploading your work here and sharing your secret land full of seductive darkness. I am, and will ever be, your adoring fan. I look forward to reading more of your work and have to comment, once again, that I feel somewhat empty now the journey is over.

Regards, admiration and love,
Bragitta Shay

Alonwi Carrovella wrote 653 days ago

Wait, WHAT?!?!? PLEASE don't tell me chapter 36 is it??????????????????? Seriously??? PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE upload more!!! The first thing I did when I realised my new phone let me read books on Authonomy, was recommence my reading of Apostle. And now I feel bereft. So once again, though I've really overused this word, PLEASE upload more!!!!

EltopiaAuthor wrote 818 days ago

Gosh, I am sorry, but I am just not likely to back this story, even though I think it has been revised and improved since the last time I reviewed it. If you were to ask me why, I would have to say something intangilbe, such as, "I don't like the feeling I get from reading it." I am sorry I cannot be more specific than that. Perhaps you will find a differnt audience for the book. It seems you certainly have put a lot of effort into it. I wish you well. FEL

EltopiaAuthor wrote 818 days ago

Gosh, I am sorry, but I am just not likely to back this story, even though I think it has been revised and improved since the last time I reviewed it. If you were to ask me why, I would have to say something intangilbe, such as, "I don't like the feeling I get from reading it." I am sorry I cannot be more specific than that. Perhaps you will find a differnt audience for the book. It seems you certainly have put a lot of effort into it. I wish you well. FEL

Ivan Amberlake wrote 824 days ago

Lacey,

At a certain point I even decided to check if it was Fiction, and ‘phew!’, yes it is. You write like a maniac! This is so engrossing that I can’t stop reading “Apostle”. Thriller is one of my most favourite genres, and you’ve created a hell of a stunner here.

Heart thumping wildly, stars strewn copiuously with great pleasure.

Ivan
The Beholder

LD Hilley II wrote 838 days ago

Hauntingly brilliant!!!

Leonard D. Hilley II
Predators of Darkness

Alonwi Carrovella wrote 847 days ago

Your story is spellbinding. I started a while ago and haven’t been able to read it until now which killed me! When I start reading your writing I literally forget I have to do things like sleep and wake up early in the morning and that I can’t actually sit in one spot reading all day because my mom would kill me. The thing that got me was there were so few mistakes in your writing that I noticed. When I read my work, I notice LOADS. Yours is so professional and fluent that the chapters fly by.

Your story line is somewhat disturbing, or at least it should be, but I’ve found myself cheering Beth on as she murders and maims and I feel elated as Benji paints his canvas red.

I’ve found myself looking at people and imagining how I’d kill them. I hope I don’t sound like a complete nut case.

You’ve managed to take a taboo and somehow make it seem glamorous and exciting and strangely fun and artistic. I’ve just finished chapter 15 and all I can say is I’ve gotta read it all! In your pitch you mention a “homicidal sociopath” but I LOVE your characters!

I’m in love with Beth. Absolutely taken by Benji and infuriated by the singing girl in the red dress. I want to run her through with Beth’s medieval gold hilted sword and watch her eyes loll as blood streams from the corner of her mouth. I want so badly for Benji and Beth to end up together and Miss Red Dress is fucking it all up!!!!!

I love the way you developed the relationship between Beth and Benji [how he buys “Bloody Beth for her too! Aaw!] and the journey Beth takes to becoming a highly loveable though psychopathic murderer. I like the way Benji is so caring towards Beth. It humanizes him. And the way Beth is able to form a friendship with Sam also lightens her character. It goes towards making them both even more endearing.

I sympathize with Beth because of what Benji awakened within her, rather than made her. A part of me wants to dislike him for this but, although Beth was led into it, she seems to enjoy it, so my resentment towards Benji lessens.

I still can’t get over how you’ve made what should be villains, heroes, and what should be victims, prey. I found my mindset changing completely and I actually began to share in Beth and Benji’s weird high.

Psychologically, emotionally, The Apostle pulls strings. I think this would make a brilliant movie! For the first time since Sweeny Todd, I find myself rooting for the murderers. And I must say that was largely due to Johnny Depp starring in the movie and well I think I love Benji more so DAMN! All I can say is I take my hat off to you! If I had it my way, you’d be a famous, published author and I’d have a first edition, autographed copy of your book and I’d be the official President of your fan club. As it is, I have no doubts that several of these things shall come to pass very soon.

Some of my favourite phrases in The Apostle:
*“Black heart blushes gray for” – LOVE It!
*“I’m a fucking ninja!” - =) [ha ha! Me too! Lol]
*“I’m sure even my bare ass would have blushed red” – LOVE IT!
*End of chapter 8 – “Within the following forty-eight hours I would commit my first murder” – what a hook!!!!! Brilliant!
*“I know only that a feeling has arisen inside of me that I’ve never felt before. Like a wave is washing through my lungs and drowning me; a strange flutter that makes me feel like I’m at a complete loss for words. And above all, I feel an immense urge to protect her from everything.” – this is so beautiful!
*“Thank you, Ian, for lending your body to me.” ha ha ha! Love it =)
*“Ya. Not you. I love ya like I would love a dog if I had one.” Love it!
*“The stink...was capable of inducing projectile vomit” – brilliant!
*“He watched over me like my own personal, dark angel.” I WANT ONE!


I’d wish you luck but you don’t need it.

All the best,
Bragitta Shay
“REGENESIS”
“The Prophecy”

Alonwi Carrovella wrote 847 days ago

Your story is spellbinding. I started a while ago and haven’t been able to read it until now which killed me! When I start reading your writing I literally forget I have to do things like sleep and wake up early in the morning and that I can’t actually sit in one spot reading all day because my mom would kill me. The thing that got me was there were so few mistakes in your writing that I noticed. When I read my work, I notice LOADS. Yours is so professional and fluent that the chapters fly by.

Your story line is somewhat disturbing, or at least it should be, but I’ve found myself cheering Beth on as she murders and maims and I feel elated as Benji paints his canvas red.

I’ve found myself looking at people and imagining how I’d kill them. I hope I don’t sound like a complete nut case.

You’ve managed to take a taboo and somehow make it seem glamorous and exciting and strangely fun and artistic. I’ve just finished chapter 15 and all I can say is I’ve gotta read it all! In your pitch you mention a “homicidal sociopath” but I LOVE your characters!

I’m in love with Beth. Absolutely taken by Benji and infuriated by the singing girl in the red dress. I want to run her through with Beth’s medieval gold hilted sword and watch her eyes loll as blood streams from the corner of her mouth. I want so badly for Benji and Beth to end up together and Miss Red Dress is fucking it all up!!!!!

I love the way you developed the relationship between Beth and Benji [how he buys “Bloody Beth for her too! Aaw!] and the journey Beth takes to becoming a highly loveable though psychopathic murderer. I like the way Benji is so caring towards Beth. It humanizes him. And the way Beth is able to form a friendship with Sam also lightens her character. It goes towards making them both even more endearing.

I sympathize with Beth because of what Benji awakened within her, rather than made her. A part of me wants to dislike him for this but, although Beth was led into it, she seems to enjoy it, so my resentment towards Benji lessens.

I still can’t get over how you’ve made what should be villains, heroes, and what should be victims, prey. I found my mindset changing completely and I actually began to share in Beth and Benji’s weird high.

Psychologically, emotionally, The Apostle pulls strings. I think this would make a brilliant movie! For the first time since Sweeny Todd, I find myself rooting for the murderers. And I must say that was largely due to Johnny Depp starring in the movie and well I think I love Benji more so DAMN! All I can say is I take my hat off to you! If I had it my way, you’d be a famous, published author and I’d have a first edition, autographed copy of your book and I’d be the official President of your fan club. As it is, I have no doubts that several of these things shall come to pass very soon.

Some of my favourite phrases in The Apostle:
*“Black heart blushes gray for” – LOVE It!
*“I’m a fucking ninja!” - =) [ha ha! Me too! Lol]
*“I’m sure even my bare ass would have blushed red” – LOVE IT!
*End of chapter 8 – “Within the following forty-eight hours I would commit my first murder” – what a hook!!!!! Brilliant!
*“I know only that a feeling has arisen inside of me that I’ve never felt before. Like a wave is washing through my lungs and drowning me; a strange flutter that makes me feel like I’m at a complete loss for words. And above all, I feel an immense urge to protect her from everything.” – this is so beautiful!
*“Thank you, Ian, for lending your body to me.” ha ha ha! Love it =)
*“Ya. Not you. I love ya like I would love a dog if I had one.” Love it!
*“The stink...was capable of inducing projectile vomit” – brilliant!
*“He watched over me like my own personal, dark angel.” I WANT ONE!


I’d wish you luck but you don’t need it.

All the best,
Bragitta Shay
“REGENESIS”
“The Prophecy”

Andy M. Potter wrote 944 days ago

Hi Lacey, powerful writing. grabbed me instantly. your MC is a great creation: an artist of the blood.
on my shelf.
when i like something, i read more carefully, to try to offer a valid critique. no macro quibbles.
on a very minor editing note, maybe trim a few adverbs/adjectives? not that i do in my own stuff. ;)

e.g., in Lab of the Madman section:
"deeply tucked" - maybe "tucked" is good enough, as the next phrase tells how it is in a santuary, etc.
"miraculously clear day" - does "clear day" tell the reader enough in this context?

great story. very best wishes, andy

Crowel wrote 948 days ago

Lacey,
This is a very intriguing novel. I read your first chapter and was very impressed. The paranoia, mixed with the subtle egotism of Benji makes for a very believable character flirting with insanity. However, I think most people will feel as though they can connect with him. He isn't so far gone that he is unrealistic at all. Very well done.

I did have one comment though. You said that the mother died on the living room floor. Then later said that she died when she pushed the protagonist out of the way and got run over by a backhoe. Was the backhoe in the house?

Otherwise, great job. Backed previously.

Weston Kincade
Invisible Dawn



Haha. No the backhoe was not in the house. It was in a dream.

GuardsMann81 wrote 948 days ago

Lacey,
This is a very intriguing novel. I read your first chapter and was very impressed. The paranoia, mixed with the subtle egotism of Benji makes for a very believable character flirting with insanity. However, I think most people will feel as though they can connect with him. He isn't so far gone that he is unrealistic at all. Very well done.

I did have one comment though. You said that the mother died on the living room floor. Then later said that she died when she pushed the protagonist out of the way and got run over by a backhoe. Was the backhoe in the house?

Otherwise, great job. Backed previously.

Weston Kincade
Invisible Dawn

DMR wrote 961 days ago

Wow - dark, creepy, passionate, fierce.. bone-chilling - these are the words I was thinking as I read the first few chapters - a pleasure to dive into and get into the heads of your main characters - very well done - Backed !
Diane
Good Blood

mturner wrote 963 days ago

this is very dark and has a great deal of depth.

only read chapter 1 so far but it is easy to tell that this is a book that will keep me coming back.

thanks for the talents, i will be back again soon for more

matt

Lara wrote 963 days ago

This is a really good idea for a novel. The diary entries worked very well and I loved the murderer's rationales. You keep the pace in the other chapters and altogether it's an excellent read. Backed
Lara
Good for Him

Phyllis Burton wrote 965 days ago

Hello Lacey, This is a fascinatingly complex read and horrific in its intensity. Well done and good luck.
BACKED.
Phyllis
A PASSING STORM

sirhardbody wrote 968 days ago

Lacey, Apostle is a book that is very well crafted with characters that are vividly crafted.
You use short paragraphs which keeps the pace of your book flowing nicely and your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read. You have a nice pace in revealing Benji and his playground at the Orange Grove campsite of Lake Guntersville. A homicidial sociopath is a difficult personality to track, yours is well done.
This story is really creapy which does what it should. well done.
I am commenting on behalf Larry, he is curretly incarcerated...If you get a chance could you look at my poetry?
Njoy
*moods and expressions

Su Dan wrote 969 days ago

this is written with good pace, and you keep us hooked...on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

minx2minx wrote 972 days ago

Hi Lacey,
What a twist at the end. This has been one fantastic read from the first word right through to the last.
Thank you for posting it all...I can have nightmares forever now lol.
Good luck with all you write.
Lizzie :-)

Laura Freeman wrote 973 days ago

Oh my God! I just read this all the way through. What a cast of complex characters! It amazes me how you can make Benji and Beth, a pair of serial killers, so lovable. This is art at its best. I wish I had half the talent you have, sister. In reading this book, I experienced every emotion possible. I hear you're working on a couple of other books, and if that's true, I cannot wait to read them. You're just plain amazing, Lacey. Backed for sure!

Laura Freeman
Writers on the Storm

Shigley wrote 974 days ago

Lacey -

I can tell you've done great research for this book, and I love the way you've put everything together. I'm sure it will be published!

Backed with pleasure.
Len
The Elijah Factor

name falied moderation wrote 978 days ago

Dear Lacey


It is so good to see that your book was well received. I have already commented and backed your book, and as at times the backing have not shown, i will back your again, just to MAKE SURE.
I do wish you the very best with your writing

Denise
The Letter

J A Humm wrote 978 days ago

Your writing style is neat and to the point, so the narrative flows really well. The only thing I'd say is that the story takes a while to get in to. Perhaps instead of beginning with a backstory ie. an explanation of why the narrator has become this cold-blooded person, consider finding the first bit of action or conflict, starting the story in the middle of it, and then pausing to fill the reader in on the missing information a bit later.

In your pitch, I'd remove the cliche about 'people have become a statistic'. HOW did that ever come about to be a popular phrase? It should be banned. It's ridiculous mainly because quite obviously everyone in a particular cohort is part of the statistic, whether they're the 13% of people who had the thing happen to them or the 87% who didn't. Sorry... the pedantic scientist in me is creeping out... I'll shut it up now.

Good writing nonetheless. I wish you success.

J A Humm
(The Retreat)

Despinas1 wrote 978 days ago

Dear Lacey,
Your work is simply amazing..... Whilst I've not had time to read past the first chapter, I can tell its potential. Backed with pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

SusieGulick wrote 978 days ago

You are totally fantastic, Lacey! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing me memoir book? :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Eveleen wrote 978 days ago

Apostle
A well crafted story
Backed
Eveleen(Turning a new leaf)

Daniel Manning wrote 979 days ago

A very complex story between a serial killer and a young hobo as they confront some home truths about each other. Benji was planning to leave the campsite, but he encounters Beth Holland a passing transient with beautiful features. There is nothing to be gained by killing her because he can't draw any power from someone, who is vacant and empty on the inside. The two have a lot in common, each exhibiting a taste for power inwardly, outwardly adoring each others looks, abhoring the conduct and behaviour of the other, until Beth expresss an interest in the power.
Great story as rationale seems to flitter away like someone had incensed a herd of buffalo to go on a stampede through the campsite.
Composition was faultless neither hurried or rushed, like it is so unnecessary to accelerate the process of writing just to reach a climax, when the real craft and skill is to prolong the writing into a substantial story.
Backed with pleasure.
Daniel Manning.
No Compatibility.

edwardlsmith wrote 979 days ago

First of all, great cover! I love the style and dictation. Gruesome details of a person's psyche remains one of my most favorite things about books. I love to see the breakdown of a character or the way a character acts based on his or hers emotional stability. I cant wait to read more.

minx2minx wrote 979 days ago

Hi Lacey,
just done reading the rest of what you have here...awesome, brilliant...I want to buy this book when it's published.
Keeping you on my WL to see if you add more chapters.
All the best.
Lizzie Scott :-)

Crowel wrote 980 days ago

Wow, this really is addictive. I love prologues and yours certainly give a taste of what is to come - murder and torture, though I don't know if "prologue" is the correct title for it as you returning to it at the end of the first chapter. I really wish I had more time. I've only read the prologue and chapter one, but I want to know more. What a monster! "I would love to be a surgeon Slicing through flesh and fat and plahing with vital organs...." Backed without hesitation. Lynne, Brooklyn Bridge.



Thank you Lynne. Just to clarify... the ending doesn't return to the prologue. It's just a diary entry and if you look closer it's a much earlier one. The entries are written throughout the story.

Lynne wrote 980 days ago

Wow, this really is addictive. I love prologues and yours certainly give a taste of what is to come - murder and torture, though I don't know if "prologue" is the correct title for it as you returning to it at the end of the first chapter. I really wish I had more time. I've only read the prologue and chapter one, but I want to know more. What a monster! "I would love to be a surgeon Slicing through flesh and fat and plahing with vital organs...." Backed without hesitation. Lynne, Brooklyn Bridge.

teremoto wrote 980 days ago

Beth is steaming with attitude due to a tough beginning. This is served up to the reader in a very tightly written narrative with just the right balance of no-nonsense narrative and dialogue. From the pitch and the first few chapters, the plot seems well thought out and constructed to build and intrigue.

Suzalex wrote 980 days ago

Not much I can add to the blow comments. You write as a writer should.
Outstanding.

Suz

Lynne Ellison wrote 981 days ago

very dark tale

Lynne Ellison

The Green Bronze Mirror

Crowel wrote 981 days ago

Hi Lacy, I am a litte confused by the prologue and the length of Chapter one why is it not broken up? Anyhow chapter 36 is great and I like the comments at the start of the chapter. I wish you the very best in your writing endeavors. Harold Alvin(ICON)Wesley



I recently added something to the prologue that made it longer. I'll separate it tonight when I have a better connection. Thanks!

wespollet wrote 981 days ago

Hi Lacy, I am a litte confused by the prologue and the length of Chapter one why is it not broken up? Anyhow chapter 36 is great and I like the comments at the start of the chapter. I wish you the very best in your writing endeavors. Harold Alvin(ICON)Wesley

Cly wrote 982 days ago

Hi Lacey,
Wow . . . this is a gripping beginning, absolutely incredible. I only have one suggestion, that being . . . and I know it's a pain, and I'm probably not one to talk, but the first chapter is a little lengthy, and I'm not suggesting cutting any of the material; I absolutely loved it, but I pop on and off the site to read, and sometimes it's a bit difficult to find my cut-off. But not to worry, I will definately be coming back regardless . . . riveting read, one of the best I have been priviledged enough to come across.
Best of Luck
Cly (Hybrid)

minx2minx wrote 982 days ago

Hi again Lacey,
been so busy with work that I've only now found some time to sit and read, and sadly not got enough time to read all you added. What I have read though is great. I love how this story is progressing and will read the last 3 chapters when I get home tomorrow night...for now though my head needs to meet my pillow and I hope my dreams are about sweeter things than your book lol.
Lizzie Scott :-)

Jehmka wrote 982 days ago

I like the pitch, the cover, and the title. The first person narrative voice sounds very much like a confused teen-aged girl. She is scattered and filled with contradictions. She is obviously ego driven , and uncertain of her feelings (perhaps because she doesn’t understand them.) She seems to be in denial of her uncertainty. She is clearly stubborn, and very angry, and like most confused teen-age girls, her anger is misdirected. She seems to identify with being abnormal (ego,) and prides herself on her lack of compassion. I like it that this is more shown than told. It can be a bit of a challenge sorting out the real from the imagined here, the truth from the ego driven delusions, perhaps too challenging (I struggled,) but this is better than having the subtleties pointed out to you.
I don’t understand the idea of calling that first part a prologue. Why is if not chapter one?
I wonder if there might be a way of making the prologue, and the first chapter a little less confusing without dumbing it down. Perhaps it’s just me.
I dipped into later chapters and found the writing mostly clear and concise, with intelligent word choices and well-structured sentences and paragraphs. It’s a big story… long. Lacey has a good sense of rhythm in her writing. I suspect she’ll do well with it if she persists... and I hope she does.

Backed with pleasure…
Rodney Jones
The Father

lisawb wrote 982 days ago

From the title down to the finest detail on the cover to the print, this has quality. The writing ooze's suspense, horror and psychological depths. The atmosphere creeps out of the book and chills. The characters are brimming with personality, and the traumatic death of the Mother is threaded in with expertise and skill. The descriptions are concise yet powerful and the writing tight. This is clever writing as the book entices the reader to relate to the killers, and stirs up a turmoil of emotions. A book that ticks all the boxes a thriller should have and introduces additional concepts.

Backed and admired.

Lisa

rab14 wrote 984 days ago

getting into the mind of a killer is a difficult concept to grasp but you managed the first chapter with skill. Beth , the society of the disenfranchised, the lab of the madman - each paragraph slowly built up the horror. THe ending of chapter one gives insight into the scope of the killer's depravation. Good Luck K.J. Rabane - According to Olwen.

La Marmonie wrote 985 days ago

Your Prologue is powerful. From what I have read, there is promise of a powerful story. I have put it in my Watch List.

Check out God of the Cocoa, if you have chance. I would be grateful for comments.
Thanks!

Marilyn Rodwell

lj reads wrote 986 days ago

Your writing is very descriptive and detailed. You have a natural talent. I enjoyed reading your book. It's quite lengthy. You have put a lot of long hours into it. I hope it does well!

minx2minx wrote 986 days ago

Think I'm going to let you sit on my shelf so everyone knows...this is one bloody Good Read...done it again though...read all you've downloaded and now need to get some shut eye as have work in a few hours.
Awesome book Lacey
Lizzie :-)

Jayboid wrote 987 days ago

Whoa! Whoa! This is some heavy stuff, girl! Your narrative voice is strong, colloquial, loose. You carry the reader along with your tempo. Eyes the green gray color of the inside of an avocado!!! Indeed... No stilted phraseology here. Your characters could be dragged screaming out of pulp fiction. This is one of the better stories I've read here, or anyplace else. I will bookshelving it tomorrow. I was going to put it on my watchlist tonight and read it tomorrow. But I made the mistake of reading the first two paragraphs... and then I was off. I've got a tight group of four books on my shelf now. They need to stay there until tomorrow. You are GOOD!!!!

Jay Squires
"Eddie and the Boxcar Painter"
"Keeping Score"

scrapper2675 wrote 987 days ago

This is an unbelievable read! Well crafted, well researched, well planned. Cold, methodical, cunning and cruel, your grasp for gripping the reader is superb! I am backing and keeping for a long time! *standing ovation*
Christi Watson
Wonder: Heart of Captivation- A Thief of Life Novel

Cariad wrote 988 days ago

What a chilling voice in the opening. Chilling because it's not overdone or 'obvious.' Chilling because it's so cold and matter of fact. Disturbing. The voice is the thing with this story and it's what carries it. This is first person that works - I shall mention it on the forum thread. Really very accomplished and happily backed by me.
Polly
STONES.

COOKIE GAWAIN wrote 991 days ago

A leisurely style for 1st person, a condescending, down in the nose narrative that pulls the reader in for more. Backed

SueAnn Jackson Land wrote 991 days ago

“Home is a secret I want to keep” sent chills down my spine. I had to keep looking back at your age and tell you that I wish I had written half as well, then. Your descriptive prose is elegant and you falter only with punctuation. You’ve got a really good start here and I have to admit that I’ve read way too many serial killer and vamp stories on Autho… but “Apostle” is enticing. The narrator seems reasonable enough, affable, even. We’ll see.

SueAnn Jackson Land
The Truth About Whales

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