Book Jacket

 

rank 1045
word count 127052
date submitted 16.07.2010
date updated 26.03.2012
genres: Literary Fiction, Thriller, Romance...
classification: moderate
complete

Apostle

Lacey Crowe

How do you draw any existing humanity from a murderer? What—if not a taste of their own medicine— could make a homicidal sociopath repent?

 

The final death in a family that had been dwindled down to two by the abuse of alcohol and lack of love has turned Beth into a young drifter. A guitar, a voice and the clothes on her back are all that accompany her on her aimless search for something better than thievery and vagrancy. This search leads her into a partnership with a homicidal sociopath.

Immortality has been the focus of Benji’s life since the ill-grieved death of his mother. Too many people have died as a statistic to shortly after become nameless and forgotten. Death is his art and murder in obscure ways is his life. With his prodigy he hopes to secure an eternal name for his victims.

But then Beth disappears.

She tastes the physical karma of her actions while Benji reaps the emotional toll that comes with the disappearance and presumed death of a loved one.

Apostle is a literary thriller, told by characters you hate to love and introduces a man not so unlike them whom you will love to hate. It is a story of lessons learned, a depiction of the art of manipulation and a dark illustration of the strength of love.

 
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tags

betrayal, fiction, revenge, romance, thriller

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131 comments

 

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Chapters

60

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Calling Rape

Benji's heels skidded back and his toes lifted as he stumbled under my push. But he remained standing, a mocking statue of my decreased strength. And so I pushed him again, harder. This time he fell over the arm of the couch. His legs flopped over until he was sitting upright and staring at me.

I was aware of my chest rising and falling in deep, visible and audible breaths. I was aware of my eyes burning and the skin on my face heating as though the sun were directly above me. I was not aware of the bursting cry that would come out of me as I slapped him across the face.

A fresh, red print of my hand marked his cheek. He brought his hand up and felt the result of my slap with his fingers, staring at me continually with a content look. Without the need of words, a smile or a nod, that face told me what he wanted to say. That he deserved that.

The tears were out again and my hands were shaking with the fear and disgust I felt for what I'd just done.

"I don't care what you do with your life,” I said.

Benji opened his mouth to speak.

 I don't care,” I said louder. I just want to be in it."

"Come here," he said.

I obeyed him. But once I was directly in front of him I didn’t have a clue what to do. I just stood there, looking down at him, confused and insulted. He reached up and wrapped his hand to the back of my neck. He pulled me down and kissed me.

His hands held my face. My fingers were in his hair and I felt the heat of his passion pushing out through his scalp.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said.

I smiled as his fingers curled under the hem of my shirt and he lifted it over my head. His hands pushed against my hipbones so that I shifted back. He lifted me and I flipped over, feeling the cushion of the couch wrap my shoulder blades.

I remembered my scar. I remembered how it had turned him off before and I refused to let Kyle take this moment away from me again. So I brought my hand up and curled it around the KW. 

Benji noticed. He moved down to kiss my scar shielding fingers. With one brush of his hand, he swept mine away and left the giant, distorted KW exposed. He leaned down and kissed my scar.

 

The couch became our bed that night, though we never slept. His naked body became my blanket, one of his arms tucked under my shoulders and the other beneath his head. I rested against his chest while his fingers swam up and down my spine. I listened to his voice buzzing though his body to my ear. We talked all night.

The exhaustion was great enough to put both of us to sleep, yet we remained awake. There were long moments of silence in which I listened to his even heartbeat. And then there were long moments of conversation in which I listened to his tired, whispering voice.

"You could write," I suggested.

"Write what?"

"Anything. You're a good writer."

"Maybe."

Benji had been taking more jobs than usual. He didn’t have any victims to rob extra cash from. But Benji hated working and I could tell it was wearing him down.

The one good thing was that there really wasn't any rush. The house was paid off, as was his truck. And Sam and I were bringing in more than a decent amount of money. She could polish off a painting in three hours, depending on its size and complexity. Most of the time I spent not much more than a half hour posing for her. Therefore we had a lot of art in the bank and a lot of cash coming in.

"I have an idea," Benji whispered into my hair.

"What?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why?"

"If I can pull it off, I'd like it to be a surprise."

"I hate surprises."

“You suck.”

I lifted my head and planted a kiss on his lips.

"So, is this a good surprise?" I asked.

"I hope so."

"Okay.”

I owe you a lot, you know,” he said. “I think you deserve everything you want. And I'll stay for as long as you want me to."

    “Please don’t—”

"And I really do want to stay. I love you."

 

 

I'd come five months out of hell by the time April came around. I was twenty years old and had become a product of the rich men's dreams. I hung over their beds and taunted their wives. I inflicted insecurity and sexual curiosity in the rich women's eyes. Five months from escaping death and I'd become a star.

The people of French River and its surrounding communities knew me by name. Advertisements for Sam's upcoming auctions and art shows were in the form of Bloody Beth posters and were adhered to shop windows and hydro poles. I would be walking by and people would be staring at the poster. They’d get to watch my live reflection strut behind them. They would whirl around and point and whisper and some would try to strike up a conversation with me.

I can't say that I hated the attention. But I wouldn't say that I enjoyed it either. I think that everybody at some point in life wishes that they could be invisible. I would have to leave the town that I'd come to love in order to feel unimportant again.

One particular day of my new celebrity sticks out the most in my mind. I'd stopped looking in the direction of ogling people to avoid having to answer the same three questions again.

"How did you fall into this line of work?"

"Do you ever feel uncomfortable posing in these positions?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

But in my tactic to keep my eyes away from the admirers and critics, I almost didn't see her. From down the street she looked like just another girl entranced by the poster with a frown and wide eyes. I'd seen the teenage girls make this face often. But as I neared, she became familiar to me.

She spotted me coming and there was no way of avoiding eye contact. Her brown eyes locked onto me and we both immediately froze.

Her dark hair was grown down almost to her shoulders. She was wearing a short, jean jacket and a gray t-shirt. Beneath the thin fabric I could see a bright, crimson swimsuit. There was a large white print on the belly of it. It read, 'LIFE GUARD'.

I wanted to ask her so many questions. Did she know that I had survived? Did she know that Sandra had not? Why did she save us?

Sarah just stood there in a paralytic state. I knew that I couldn't ask her these questions. But I wanted to thank her. So I smiled, nodded slightly, and continued walking.

I’m not sure but I thought I could feel her smiling behind my back.

 

 

So they'll still talk about me when I die

Entry April 12, 2002

 

I can sit here and write about how I did it for her. I could try to convince myself that she deserved exactly what she wanted and what she wanted was to be with me. But that would be a lie. That would be calling rape to a victim more than willing.

Somehow she accepts me. After all I have done, she still wants me. She is the only one who knows the real me. And she loves me.

What was I trying to prove? What emotion was I trying to avoid? I know I’m still a monster, I know that. People don’t change that easily. Sociopaths don’t change. I still don't care about people. I only care about her.

But for her I am willing. I can start fresh. I can pretend to be normal with her. Now is a better time than ever for that. In the eyes of every potential victim, I see her.

Cold baths might become my best friend. I might start playing with fire again like I did when I was a teenager battling my urge to kill. I can satiate myself somehow.

I will always be a killer. But I won’t kill again.

 

 

 

Chapters

60

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Alonwi Carrovella wrote 635 days ago

Wow. Just read the final chapter and bawled like a little bitch. That was one hell of a ride you took me on, Lacey. It began with fear and revulsion, developed into morbid curiosity, blossomed into fascination and slowly became a sort of forbidden love for what should not be, by rights, something adored. I have sat in the dark, my heart pounding, listening to mysterious whispers and praying Benji isn't after me, I've smiled as I watched the love ignite and flare, awakening two young and confused people, I've cheered as blood is spilt, I wept bitter tears of anguish as a psychopath was maimed and raped by another, feeling that karma was a bitch and whilst realizing her punishment was only fate's retribution, still feeling she was greatly wronged, and at last, I cried and felt my heart implode as a man refused to change his ways, maybe frightened about loosing the one thing that has defined him all along, I can't be sure. I feel bereft. You've ended my secret world, my twisted and confusing haven. I've honestly never read anything as special as your book. Thank you so, so, so, so much for uploading your work here and sharing your secret land full of seductive darkness. I am, and will ever be, your adoring fan. I look forward to reading more of your work and have to comment, once again, that I feel somewhat empty now the journey is over.

Regards, admiration and love,
Bragitta Shay

Alonwi Carrovella wrote 848 days ago

Your story is spellbinding. I started a while ago and haven’t been able to read it until now which killed me! When I start reading your writing I literally forget I have to do things like sleep and wake up early in the morning and that I can’t actually sit in one spot reading all day because my mom would kill me. The thing that got me was there were so few mistakes in your writing that I noticed. When I read my work, I notice LOADS. Yours is so professional and fluent that the chapters fly by.

Your story line is somewhat disturbing, or at least it should be, but I’ve found myself cheering Beth on as she murders and maims and I feel elated as Benji paints his canvas red.

I’ve found myself looking at people and imagining how I’d kill them. I hope I don’t sound like a complete nut case.

You’ve managed to take a taboo and somehow make it seem glamorous and exciting and strangely fun and artistic. I’ve just finished chapter 15 and all I can say is I’ve gotta read it all! In your pitch you mention a “homicidal sociopath” but I LOVE your characters!

I’m in love with Beth. Absolutely taken by Benji and infuriated by the singing girl in the red dress. I want to run her through with Beth’s medieval gold hilted sword and watch her eyes loll as blood streams from the corner of her mouth. I want so badly for Benji and Beth to end up together and Miss Red Dress is fucking it all up!!!!!

I love the way you developed the relationship between Beth and Benji [how he buys “Bloody Beth for her too! Aaw!] and the journey Beth takes to becoming a highly loveable though psychopathic murderer. I like the way Benji is so caring towards Beth. It humanizes him. And the way Beth is able to form a friendship with Sam also lightens her character. It goes towards making them both even more endearing.

I sympathize with Beth because of what Benji awakened within her, rather than made her. A part of me wants to dislike him for this but, although Beth was led into it, she seems to enjoy it, so my resentment towards Benji lessens.

I still can’t get over how you’ve made what should be villains, heroes, and what should be victims, prey. I found my mindset changing completely and I actually began to share in Beth and Benji’s weird high.

Psychologically, emotionally, The Apostle pulls strings. I think this would make a brilliant movie! For the first time since Sweeny Todd, I find myself rooting for the murderers. And I must say that was largely due to Johnny Depp starring in the movie and well I think I love Benji more so DAMN! All I can say is I take my hat off to you! If I had it my way, you’d be a famous, published author and I’d have a first edition, autographed copy of your book and I’d be the official President of your fan club. As it is, I have no doubts that several of these things shall come to pass very soon.

Some of my favourite phrases in The Apostle:
*“Black heart blushes gray for” – LOVE It!
*“I’m a fucking ninja!” - =) [ha ha! Me too! Lol]
*“I’m sure even my bare ass would have blushed red” – LOVE IT!
*End of chapter 8 – “Within the following forty-eight hours I would commit my first murder” – what a hook!!!!! Brilliant!
*“I know only that a feeling has arisen inside of me that I’ve never felt before. Like a wave is washing through my lungs and drowning me; a strange flutter that makes me feel like I’m at a complete loss for words. And above all, I feel an immense urge to protect her from everything.” – this is so beautiful!
*“Thank you, Ian, for lending your body to me.” ha ha ha! Love it =)
*“Ya. Not you. I love ya like I would love a dog if I had one.” Love it!
*“The stink...was capable of inducing projectile vomit” – brilliant!
*“He watched over me like my own personal, dark angel.” I WANT ONE!


I’d wish you luck but you don’t need it.

All the best,
Bragitta Shay
“REGENESIS”
“The Prophecy”

lisawb wrote 984 days ago

From the title down to the finest detail on the cover to the print, this has quality. The writing ooze's suspense, horror and psychological depths. The atmosphere creeps out of the book and chills. The characters are brimming with personality, and the traumatic death of the Mother is threaded in with expertise and skill. The descriptions are concise yet powerful and the writing tight. This is clever writing as the book entices the reader to relate to the killers, and stirs up a turmoil of emotions. A book that ticks all the boxes a thriller should have and introduces additional concepts.

Backed and admired.

Lisa

Laura Freeman wrote 974 days ago

Oh my God! I just read this all the way through. What a cast of complex characters! It amazes me how you can make Benji and Beth, a pair of serial killers, so lovable. This is art at its best. I wish I had half the talent you have, sister. In reading this book, I experienced every emotion possible. I hear you're working on a couple of other books, and if that's true, I cannot wait to read them. You're just plain amazing, Lacey. Backed for sure!

Laura Freeman
Writers on the Storm

Daniel Manning wrote 980 days ago

A very complex story between a serial killer and a young hobo as they confront some home truths about each other. Benji was planning to leave the campsite, but he encounters Beth Holland a passing transient with beautiful features. There is nothing to be gained by killing her because he can't draw any power from someone, who is vacant and empty on the inside. The two have a lot in common, each exhibiting a taste for power inwardly, outwardly adoring each others looks, abhoring the conduct and behaviour of the other, until Beth expresss an interest in the power.
Great story as rationale seems to flitter away like someone had incensed a herd of buffalo to go on a stampede through the campsite.
Composition was faultless neither hurried or rushed, like it is so unnecessary to accelerate the process of writing just to reach a climax, when the real craft and skill is to prolong the writing into a substantial story.
Backed with pleasure.
Daniel Manning.
No Compatibility.

Angelos Alves wrote 419 days ago

Some sick shit but I like it. Nice.

Angelos Alves wrote 419 days ago

Some sick shit but I like it. Nice.

Alonwi Carrovella wrote 635 days ago

Wow. Just read the final chapter and bawled like a little bitch. That was one hell of a ride you took me on, Lacey. It began with fear and revulsion, developed into morbid curiosity, blossomed into fascination and slowly became a sort of forbidden love for what should not be, by rights, something adored. I have sat in the dark, my heart pounding, listening to mysterious whispers and praying Benji isn't after me, I've smiled as I watched the love ignite and flare, awakening two young and confused people, I've cheered as blood is spilt, I wept bitter tears of anguish as a psychopath was maimed and raped by another, feeling that karma was a bitch and whilst realizing her punishment was only fate's retribution, still feeling she was greatly wronged, and at last, I cried and felt my heart implode as a man refused to change his ways, maybe frightened about loosing the one thing that has defined him all along, I can't be sure. I feel bereft. You've ended my secret world, my twisted and confusing haven. I've honestly never read anything as special as your book. Thank you so, so, so, so much for uploading your work here and sharing your secret land full of seductive darkness. I am, and will ever be, your adoring fan. I look forward to reading more of your work and have to comment, once again, that I feel somewhat empty now the journey is over.

Regards, admiration and love,
Bragitta Shay

Alonwi Carrovella wrote 654 days ago

Wait, WHAT?!?!? PLEASE don't tell me chapter 36 is it??????????????????? Seriously??? PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE upload more!!! The first thing I did when I realised my new phone let me read books on Authonomy, was recommence my reading of Apostle. And now I feel bereft. So once again, though I've really overused this word, PLEASE upload more!!!!

EltopiaAuthor wrote 819 days ago

Gosh, I am sorry, but I am just not likely to back this story, even though I think it has been revised and improved since the last time I reviewed it. If you were to ask me why, I would have to say something intangilbe, such as, "I don't like the feeling I get from reading it." I am sorry I cannot be more specific than that. Perhaps you will find a differnt audience for the book. It seems you certainly have put a lot of effort into it. I wish you well. FEL

EltopiaAuthor wrote 819 days ago

Gosh, I am sorry, but I am just not likely to back this story, even though I think it has been revised and improved since the last time I reviewed it. If you were to ask me why, I would have to say something intangilbe, such as, "I don't like the feeling I get from reading it." I am sorry I cannot be more specific than that. Perhaps you will find a differnt audience for the book. It seems you certainly have put a lot of effort into it. I wish you well. FEL

Ivan Amberlake wrote 825 days ago

Lacey,

At a certain point I even decided to check if it was Fiction, and ‘phew!’, yes it is. You write like a maniac! This is so engrossing that I can’t stop reading “Apostle”. Thriller is one of my most favourite genres, and you’ve created a hell of a stunner here.

Heart thumping wildly, stars strewn copiuously with great pleasure.

Ivan
The Beholder

LD Hilley II wrote 840 days ago

Hauntingly brilliant!!!

Leonard D. Hilley II
Predators of Darkness

Alonwi Carrovella wrote 848 days ago

Your story is spellbinding. I started a while ago and haven’t been able to read it until now which killed me! When I start reading your writing I literally forget I have to do things like sleep and wake up early in the morning and that I can’t actually sit in one spot reading all day because my mom would kill me. The thing that got me was there were so few mistakes in your writing that I noticed. When I read my work, I notice LOADS. Yours is so professional and fluent that the chapters fly by.

Your story line is somewhat disturbing, or at least it should be, but I’ve found myself cheering Beth on as she murders and maims and I feel elated as Benji paints his canvas red.

I’ve found myself looking at people and imagining how I’d kill them. I hope I don’t sound like a complete nut case.

You’ve managed to take a taboo and somehow make it seem glamorous and exciting and strangely fun and artistic. I’ve just finished chapter 15 and all I can say is I’ve gotta read it all! In your pitch you mention a “homicidal sociopath” but I LOVE your characters!

I’m in love with Beth. Absolutely taken by Benji and infuriated by the singing girl in the red dress. I want to run her through with Beth’s medieval gold hilted sword and watch her eyes loll as blood streams from the corner of her mouth. I want so badly for Benji and Beth to end up together and Miss Red Dress is fucking it all up!!!!!

I love the way you developed the relationship between Beth and Benji [how he buys “Bloody Beth for her too! Aaw!] and the journey Beth takes to becoming a highly loveable though psychopathic murderer. I like the way Benji is so caring towards Beth. It humanizes him. And the way Beth is able to form a friendship with Sam also lightens her character. It goes towards making them both even more endearing.

I sympathize with Beth because of what Benji awakened within her, rather than made her. A part of me wants to dislike him for this but, although Beth was led into it, she seems to enjoy it, so my resentment towards Benji lessens.

I still can’t get over how you’ve made what should be villains, heroes, and what should be victims, prey. I found my mindset changing completely and I actually began to share in Beth and Benji’s weird high.

Psychologically, emotionally, The Apostle pulls strings. I think this would make a brilliant movie! For the first time since Sweeny Todd, I find myself rooting for the murderers. And I must say that was largely due to Johnny Depp starring in the movie and well I think I love Benji more so DAMN! All I can say is I take my hat off to you! If I had it my way, you’d be a famous, published author and I’d have a first edition, autographed copy of your book and I’d be the official President of your fan club. As it is, I have no doubts that several of these things shall come to pass very soon.

Some of my favourite phrases in The Apostle:
*“Black heart blushes gray for” – LOVE It!
*“I’m a fucking ninja!” - =) [ha ha! Me too! Lol]
*“I’m sure even my bare ass would have blushed red” – LOVE IT!
*End of chapter 8 – “Within the following forty-eight hours I would commit my first murder” – what a hook!!!!! Brilliant!
*“I know only that a feeling has arisen inside of me that I’ve never felt before. Like a wave is washing through my lungs and drowning me; a strange flutter that makes me feel like I’m at a complete loss for words. And above all, I feel an immense urge to protect her from everything.” – this is so beautiful!
*“Thank you, Ian, for lending your body to me.” ha ha ha! Love it =)
*“Ya. Not you. I love ya like I would love a dog if I had one.” Love it!
*“The stink...was capable of inducing projectile vomit” – brilliant!
*“He watched over me like my own personal, dark angel.” I WANT ONE!


I’d wish you luck but you don’t need it.

All the best,
Bragitta Shay
“REGENESIS”
“The Prophecy”

Alonwi Carrovella wrote 848 days ago

Your story is spellbinding. I started a while ago and haven’t been able to read it until now which killed me! When I start reading your writing I literally forget I have to do things like sleep and wake up early in the morning and that I can’t actually sit in one spot reading all day because my mom would kill me. The thing that got me was there were so few mistakes in your writing that I noticed. When I read my work, I notice LOADS. Yours is so professional and fluent that the chapters fly by.

Your story line is somewhat disturbing, or at least it should be, but I’ve found myself cheering Beth on as she murders and maims and I feel elated as Benji paints his canvas red.

I’ve found myself looking at people and imagining how I’d kill them. I hope I don’t sound like a complete nut case.

You’ve managed to take a taboo and somehow make it seem glamorous and exciting and strangely fun and artistic. I’ve just finished chapter 15 and all I can say is I’ve gotta read it all! In your pitch you mention a “homicidal sociopath” but I LOVE your characters!

I’m in love with Beth. Absolutely taken by Benji and infuriated by the singing girl in the red dress. I want to run her through with Beth’s medieval gold hilted sword and watch her eyes loll as blood streams from the corner of her mouth. I want so badly for Benji and Beth to end up together and Miss Red Dress is fucking it all up!!!!!

I love the way you developed the relationship between Beth and Benji [how he buys “Bloody Beth for her too! Aaw!] and the journey Beth takes to becoming a highly loveable though psychopathic murderer. I like the way Benji is so caring towards Beth. It humanizes him. And the way Beth is able to form a friendship with Sam also lightens her character. It goes towards making them both even more endearing.

I sympathize with Beth because of what Benji awakened within her, rather than made her. A part of me wants to dislike him for this but, although Beth was led into it, she seems to enjoy it, so my resentment towards Benji lessens.

I still can’t get over how you’ve made what should be villains, heroes, and what should be victims, prey. I found my mindset changing completely and I actually began to share in Beth and Benji’s weird high.

Psychologically, emotionally, The Apostle pulls strings. I think this would make a brilliant movie! For the first time since Sweeny Todd, I find myself rooting for the murderers. And I must say that was largely due to Johnny Depp starring in the movie and well I think I love Benji more so DAMN! All I can say is I take my hat off to you! If I had it my way, you’d be a famous, published author and I’d have a first edition, autographed copy of your book and I’d be the official President of your fan club. As it is, I have no doubts that several of these things shall come to pass very soon.

Some of my favourite phrases in The Apostle:
*“Black heart blushes gray for” – LOVE It!
*“I’m a fucking ninja!” - =) [ha ha! Me too! Lol]
*“I’m sure even my bare ass would have blushed red” – LOVE IT!
*End of chapter 8 – “Within the following forty-eight hours I would commit my first murder” – what a hook!!!!! Brilliant!
*“I know only that a feeling has arisen inside of me that I’ve never felt before. Like a wave is washing through my lungs and drowning me; a strange flutter that makes me feel like I’m at a complete loss for words. And above all, I feel an immense urge to protect her from everything.” – this is so beautiful!
*“Thank you, Ian, for lending your body to me.” ha ha ha! Love it =)
*“Ya. Not you. I love ya like I would love a dog if I had one.” Love it!
*“The stink...was capable of inducing projectile vomit” – brilliant!
*“He watched over me like my own personal, dark angel.” I WANT ONE!


I’d wish you luck but you don’t need it.

All the best,
Bragitta Shay
“REGENESIS”
“The Prophecy”

Andy M. Potter wrote 946 days ago

Hi Lacey, powerful writing. grabbed me instantly. your MC is a great creation: an artist of the blood.
on my shelf.
when i like something, i read more carefully, to try to offer a valid critique. no macro quibbles.
on a very minor editing note, maybe trim a few adverbs/adjectives? not that i do in my own stuff. ;)

e.g., in Lab of the Madman section:
"deeply tucked" - maybe "tucked" is good enough, as the next phrase tells how it is in a santuary, etc.
"miraculously clear day" - does "clear day" tell the reader enough in this context?

great story. very best wishes, andy

Crowel wrote 950 days ago

Lacey,
This is a very intriguing novel. I read your first chapter and was very impressed. The paranoia, mixed with the subtle egotism of Benji makes for a very believable character flirting with insanity. However, I think most people will feel as though they can connect with him. He isn't so far gone that he is unrealistic at all. Very well done.

I did have one comment though. You said that the mother died on the living room floor. Then later said that she died when she pushed the protagonist out of the way and got run over by a backhoe. Was the backhoe in the house?

Otherwise, great job. Backed previously.

Weston Kincade
Invisible Dawn



Haha. No the backhoe was not in the house. It was in a dream.

GuardsMann81 wrote 950 days ago

Lacey,
This is a very intriguing novel. I read your first chapter and was very impressed. The paranoia, mixed with the subtle egotism of Benji makes for a very believable character flirting with insanity. However, I think most people will feel as though they can connect with him. He isn't so far gone that he is unrealistic at all. Very well done.

I did have one comment though. You said that the mother died on the living room floor. Then later said that she died when she pushed the protagonist out of the way and got run over by a backhoe. Was the backhoe in the house?

Otherwise, great job. Backed previously.

Weston Kincade
Invisible Dawn

DMR wrote 963 days ago

Wow - dark, creepy, passionate, fierce.. bone-chilling - these are the words I was thinking as I read the first few chapters - a pleasure to dive into and get into the heads of your main characters - very well done - Backed !
Diane
Good Blood

mturner wrote 964 days ago

this is very dark and has a great deal of depth.

only read chapter 1 so far but it is easy to tell that this is a book that will keep me coming back.

thanks for the talents, i will be back again soon for more

matt

Lara wrote 965 days ago

This is a really good idea for a novel. The diary entries worked very well and I loved the murderer's rationales. You keep the pace in the other chapters and altogether it's an excellent read. Backed
Lara
Good for Him

Phyllis Burton wrote 966 days ago

Hello Lacey, This is a fascinatingly complex read and horrific in its intensity. Well done and good luck.
BACKED.
Phyllis
A PASSING STORM

sirhardbody wrote 969 days ago

Lacey, Apostle is a book that is very well crafted with characters that are vividly crafted.
You use short paragraphs which keeps the pace of your book flowing nicely and your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read. You have a nice pace in revealing Benji and his playground at the Orange Grove campsite of Lake Guntersville. A homicidial sociopath is a difficult personality to track, yours is well done.
This story is really creapy which does what it should. well done.
I am commenting on behalf Larry, he is curretly incarcerated...If you get a chance could you look at my poetry?
Njoy
*moods and expressions

Su Dan wrote 970 days ago

this is written with good pace, and you keep us hooked...on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

minx2minx wrote 974 days ago

Hi Lacey,
What a twist at the end. This has been one fantastic read from the first word right through to the last.
Thank you for posting it all...I can have nightmares forever now lol.
Good luck with all you write.
Lizzie :-)

Laura Freeman wrote 974 days ago

Oh my God! I just read this all the way through. What a cast of complex characters! It amazes me how you can make Benji and Beth, a pair of serial killers, so lovable. This is art at its best. I wish I had half the talent you have, sister. In reading this book, I experienced every emotion possible. I hear you're working on a couple of other books, and if that's true, I cannot wait to read them. You're just plain amazing, Lacey. Backed for sure!

Laura Freeman
Writers on the Storm

Shigley wrote 976 days ago

Lacey -

I can tell you've done great research for this book, and I love the way you've put everything together. I'm sure it will be published!

Backed with pleasure.
Len
The Elijah Factor

name falied moderation wrote 979 days ago

Dear Lacey


It is so good to see that your book was well received. I have already commented and backed your book, and as at times the backing have not shown, i will back your again, just to MAKE SURE.
I do wish you the very best with your writing

Denise
The Letter

J A Humm wrote 979 days ago

Your writing style is neat and to the point, so the narrative flows really well. The only thing I'd say is that the story takes a while to get in to. Perhaps instead of beginning with a backstory ie. an explanation of why the narrator has become this cold-blooded person, consider finding the first bit of action or conflict, starting the story in the middle of it, and then pausing to fill the reader in on the missing information a bit later.

In your pitch, I'd remove the cliche about 'people have become a statistic'. HOW did that ever come about to be a popular phrase? It should be banned. It's ridiculous mainly because quite obviously everyone in a particular cohort is part of the statistic, whether they're the 13% of people who had the thing happen to them or the 87% who didn't. Sorry... the pedantic scientist in me is creeping out... I'll shut it up now.

Good writing nonetheless. I wish you success.

J A Humm
(The Retreat)

Despinas1 wrote 980 days ago

Dear Lacey,
Your work is simply amazing..... Whilst I've not had time to read past the first chapter, I can tell its potential. Backed with pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

SusieGulick wrote 980 days ago

You are totally fantastic, Lacey! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing me memoir book? :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Eveleen wrote 980 days ago

Apostle
A well crafted story
Backed
Eveleen(Turning a new leaf)

Daniel Manning wrote 980 days ago

A very complex story between a serial killer and a young hobo as they confront some home truths about each other. Benji was planning to leave the campsite, but he encounters Beth Holland a passing transient with beautiful features. There is nothing to be gained by killing her because he can't draw any power from someone, who is vacant and empty on the inside. The two have a lot in common, each exhibiting a taste for power inwardly, outwardly adoring each others looks, abhoring the conduct and behaviour of the other, until Beth expresss an interest in the power.
Great story as rationale seems to flitter away like someone had incensed a herd of buffalo to go on a stampede through the campsite.
Composition was faultless neither hurried or rushed, like it is so unnecessary to accelerate the process of writing just to reach a climax, when the real craft and skill is to prolong the writing into a substantial story.
Backed with pleasure.
Daniel Manning.
No Compatibility.

edwardlsmith wrote 980 days ago

First of all, great cover! I love the style and dictation. Gruesome details of a person's psyche remains one of my most favorite things about books. I love to see the breakdown of a character or the way a character acts based on his or hers emotional stability. I cant wait to read more.

minx2minx wrote 981 days ago

Hi Lacey,
just done reading the rest of what you have here...awesome, brilliant...I want to buy this book when it's published.
Keeping you on my WL to see if you add more chapters.
All the best.
Lizzie Scott :-)

Crowel wrote 981 days ago

Wow, this really is addictive. I love prologues and yours certainly give a taste of what is to come - murder and torture, though I don't know if "prologue" is the correct title for it as you returning to it at the end of the first chapter. I really wish I had more time. I've only read the prologue and chapter one, but I want to know more. What a monster! "I would love to be a surgeon Slicing through flesh and fat and plahing with vital organs...." Backed without hesitation. Lynne, Brooklyn Bridge.



Thank you Lynne. Just to clarify... the ending doesn't return to the prologue. It's just a diary entry and if you look closer it's a much earlier one. The entries are written throughout the story.

Lynne wrote 981 days ago

Wow, this really is addictive. I love prologues and yours certainly give a taste of what is to come - murder and torture, though I don't know if "prologue" is the correct title for it as you returning to it at the end of the first chapter. I really wish I had more time. I've only read the prologue and chapter one, but I want to know more. What a monster! "I would love to be a surgeon Slicing through flesh and fat and plahing with vital organs...." Backed without hesitation. Lynne, Brooklyn Bridge.

teremoto wrote 981 days ago

Beth is steaming with attitude due to a tough beginning. This is served up to the reader in a very tightly written narrative with just the right balance of no-nonsense narrative and dialogue. From the pitch and the first few chapters, the plot seems well thought out and constructed to build and intrigue.

Suzalex wrote 982 days ago

Not much I can add to the blow comments. You write as a writer should.
Outstanding.

Suz

Lynne Ellison wrote 983 days ago

very dark tale

Lynne Ellison

The Green Bronze Mirror

Crowel wrote 983 days ago

Hi Lacy, I am a litte confused by the prologue and the length of Chapter one why is it not broken up? Anyhow chapter 36 is great and I like the comments at the start of the chapter. I wish you the very best in your writing endeavors. Harold Alvin(ICON)Wesley



I recently added something to the prologue that made it longer. I'll separate it tonight when I have a better connection. Thanks!

wespollet wrote 983 days ago

Hi Lacy, I am a litte confused by the prologue and the length of Chapter one why is it not broken up? Anyhow chapter 36 is great and I like the comments at the start of the chapter. I wish you the very best in your writing endeavors. Harold Alvin(ICON)Wesley

Cly wrote 983 days ago

Hi Lacey,
Wow . . . this is a gripping beginning, absolutely incredible. I only have one suggestion, that being . . . and I know it's a pain, and I'm probably not one to talk, but the first chapter is a little lengthy, and I'm not suggesting cutting any of the material; I absolutely loved it, but I pop on and off the site to read, and sometimes it's a bit difficult to find my cut-off. But not to worry, I will definately be coming back regardless . . . riveting read, one of the best I have been priviledged enough to come across.
Best of Luck
Cly (Hybrid)

minx2minx wrote 984 days ago

Hi again Lacey,
been so busy with work that I've only now found some time to sit and read, and sadly not got enough time to read all you added. What I have read though is great. I love how this story is progressing and will read the last 3 chapters when I get home tomorrow night...for now though my head needs to meet my pillow and I hope my dreams are about sweeter things than your book lol.
Lizzie Scott :-)

Jehmka wrote 984 days ago

I like the pitch, the cover, and the title. The first person narrative voice sounds very much like a confused teen-aged girl. She is scattered and filled with contradictions. She is obviously ego driven , and uncertain of her feelings (perhaps because she doesn’t understand them.) She seems to be in denial of her uncertainty. She is clearly stubborn, and very angry, and like most confused teen-age girls, her anger is misdirected. She seems to identify with being abnormal (ego,) and prides herself on her lack of compassion. I like it that this is more shown than told. It can be a bit of a challenge sorting out the real from the imagined here, the truth from the ego driven delusions, perhaps too challenging (I struggled,) but this is better than having the subtleties pointed out to you.
I don’t understand the idea of calling that first part a prologue. Why is if not chapter one?
I wonder if there might be a way of making the prologue, and the first chapter a little less confusing without dumbing it down. Perhaps it’s just me.
I dipped into later chapters and found the writing mostly clear and concise, with intelligent word choices and well-structured sentences and paragraphs. It’s a big story… long. Lacey has a good sense of rhythm in her writing. I suspect she’ll do well with it if she persists... and I hope she does.

Backed with pleasure…
Rodney Jones
The Father

lisawb wrote 984 days ago

From the title down to the finest detail on the cover to the print, this has quality. The writing ooze's suspense, horror and psychological depths. The atmosphere creeps out of the book and chills. The characters are brimming with personality, and the traumatic death of the Mother is threaded in with expertise and skill. The descriptions are concise yet powerful and the writing tight. This is clever writing as the book entices the reader to relate to the killers, and stirs up a turmoil of emotions. A book that ticks all the boxes a thriller should have and introduces additional concepts.

Backed and admired.

Lisa

rab14 wrote 985 days ago

getting into the mind of a killer is a difficult concept to grasp but you managed the first chapter with skill. Beth , the society of the disenfranchised, the lab of the madman - each paragraph slowly built up the horror. THe ending of chapter one gives insight into the scope of the killer's depravation. Good Luck K.J. Rabane - According to Olwen.

La Marmonie wrote 986 days ago

Your Prologue is powerful. From what I have read, there is promise of a powerful story. I have put it in my Watch List.

Check out God of the Cocoa, if you have chance. I would be grateful for comments.
Thanks!

Marilyn Rodwell

lj reads wrote 987 days ago

Your writing is very descriptive and detailed. You have a natural talent. I enjoyed reading your book. It's quite lengthy. You have put a lot of long hours into it. I hope it does well!

minx2minx wrote 987 days ago

Think I'm going to let you sit on my shelf so everyone knows...this is one bloody Good Read...done it again though...read all you've downloaded and now need to get some shut eye as have work in a few hours.
Awesome book Lacey
Lizzie :-)

Jayboid wrote 988 days ago

Whoa! Whoa! This is some heavy stuff, girl! Your narrative voice is strong, colloquial, loose. You carry the reader along with your tempo. Eyes the green gray color of the inside of an avocado!!! Indeed... No stilted phraseology here. Your characters could be dragged screaming out of pulp fiction. This is one of the better stories I've read here, or anyplace else. I will bookshelving it tomorrow. I was going to put it on my watchlist tonight and read it tomorrow. But I made the mistake of reading the first two paragraphs... and then I was off. I've got a tight group of four books on my shelf now. They need to stay there until tomorrow. You are GOOD!!!!

Jay Squires
"Eddie and the Boxcar Painter"
"Keeping Score"

scrapper2675 wrote 988 days ago

This is an unbelievable read! Well crafted, well researched, well planned. Cold, methodical, cunning and cruel, your grasp for gripping the reader is superb! I am backing and keeping for a long time! *standing ovation*
Christi Watson
Wonder: Heart of Captivation- A Thief of Life Novel

Cariad wrote 990 days ago

What a chilling voice in the opening. Chilling because it's not overdone or 'obvious.' Chilling because it's so cold and matter of fact. Disturbing. The voice is the thing with this story and it's what carries it. This is first person that works - I shall mention it on the forum thread. Really very accomplished and happily backed by me.
Polly
STONES.

COOKIE GAWAIN wrote 992 days ago

A leisurely style for 1st person, a condescending, down in the nose narrative that pulls the reader in for more. Backed

SueAnn Jackson Land wrote 993 days ago

“Home is a secret I want to keep” sent chills down my spine. I had to keep looking back at your age and tell you that I wish I had written half as well, then. Your descriptive prose is elegant and you falter only with punctuation. You’ve got a really good start here and I have to admit that I’ve read way too many serial killer and vamp stories on Autho… but “Apostle” is enticing. The narrator seems reasonable enough, affable, even. We’ll see.

SueAnn Jackson Land
The Truth About Whales

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