Book Jacket

 

rank 1647
word count 40851
date submitted 25.07.2010
date updated 09.08.2012
genres: Fiction, Science Fiction, Horror, Y...
classification: moderate
incomplete

Pieces of me

Erika Weisbuch

"Something happened to Martin. He has scars. Not fall off your bike scars, but scars that make you lose your breath at first sight."

 


"Something happened to Martin. He has scars. Not fall off your bike scars, but scars that make you lose your breath at first sight."

Sane people are very cogent of the difference between living and death, who might guess there is something else?

Sophie Mueller expected her senior year at Wentworth Academy to come and go in the blink of an eye. It's when Martin Neumann arrives at school in late September, that Sophie's eyes are opened.

Martin has secrets: secrets that become obvious to Sophie. Secrets that once learned, can't be forgotten. Too soon Sophie may learn that for all the secrets she thinks she knows, there are more buried under the surface.

There are always pieces; pieces lost, pieces found, and pieces picked up along the way. Sophie and Martin find each other, but know not where the pieces may fall?

 
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tags

coming of age, frankenstein, mary shelley, reanimation, zombie

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45 comments

 

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fletcherkovich wrote 1356 days ago

Erika-

Great Paradox.
I admit this book has a very strong inquiry about life, its purpose and where it leads us. Every angle of this book is full of psychological substance that would encourage the reader to keep reading and dig out the mystery that covers it. The opening scene beautifully draws a stable foundation of the book’s aim and the way the author describes the introduction really leaves a good picture that symbolizes the nature of contradictions in life. Good intentions. Characters are manipulated well together with great dialogues. The plot is weaved together with the substantial thematic emphasis. I believed that your book just deserves the praise and the claps. I appreciate reading a high quality product of literature. BACKED.
Good luck to you and your writing career.

FLETCH
STORIES FROM A LEAKING MIND

andrew skaife wrote 1365 days ago

You are a gifted writer and someone who obviously has the eye for human relationships that most gloss over in a rush to find the entrails of their plot as if they are afraid it will slip beyond their reach.

"Am I in love or insane? Is there much difference between those two points?" Is a fantastic and yet subtle aspect.

You have a wry and equally subtle sense of humour that scours through your work wonderfully. This is a perceptively written treatise on teenage psyche and relationships.

One thought is that mid way through the first chapter a lot of the paragraphs begin "I"; maybe too many. ALso a typo half way through the first chapter: "I gather (ed?) my books and stood up."

I like the stylistic strength you have as well: "It seemed once the Headmistress left that the room warmed up a few degrees and had a bit more oxygen," Is discrete and yet pucnhes a hole. In fact, the quote you chose for your pitch was a well chosen one and highlights that style. Martin's scars remind me of Moby Dick a little.

Overall the developing relationship is astutely and acutely written in a wonderful style and with great skill and talent.

BACKED

fletcherkovich wrote 1356 days ago

Erika-

Great Paradox.
I admit this book has a very strong inquiry about life, its purpose and where it leads us. Every angle of this book is full of psychological substance that would encourage the reader to keep reading and dig out the mystery that covers it. The opening scene beautifully draws a stable foundation of the book’s aim and the way the author describes the introduction really leaves a good picture that symbolizes the nature of contradictions in life. Good intentions. Characters are manipulated well together with great dialogues. The plot is weaved together with the substantial thematic emphasis. I believed that your book just deserves the praise and the claps. I appreciate reading a high quality product of literature. BACKED.
Good luck to you and your writing career.

FLETCH
STORIES FROM A LEAKING MIND

Jayne Lind wrote 1356 days ago

Very good writing - great dialogue and a refreshing premise. I know this will appeal to lots of YA readers - hope it's published. Good luck! Jayne (If you haven't yet looked at The President's Wife is on Prozac - please do.)

Rakhi wrote 1356 days ago

I enjoyed your writing very much. The plot is wonderful, and you written it with wit, humor and a unique style.
Backed earlier.
Rakhi (Sir William...)

bcournoyer wrote 1357 days ago

wow i love what I have read so far and I am WL this to read more and i will most definately back it!

Brittany Cournoyer
Finding Sam & Taking Risks

CarolinaAl wrote 1358 days ago

This is a well written story. Thought provoking plot. Very believable characters and vivid scenes. Convincing dialogue. Backed.

JD Revene wrote 1359 days ago

Erika,

Promising pitch (not sure you need the quotation marks around the short pitch, but that's really a matter of preference).

Into the work proper. There's a strong narrative voice, which is easy to relate too. In a couple of places I wonder about the mix of tense, for example:

since Bex saw at some much needed French tutoring [past tense], I am left alone . . .[present tense]


The early interaction between Martin and Sophie is good. I like the way she blabbers.

And a lot of the details in description are great (the oval tables, complete with school guide extract).

There is perhaps an overbalance of narrative to action and dialogue, especially when the narrative becomes more distant. I'm most engaged when it's most clearly in Sophie's voice.

The last line of the last, but one paragraph is great--I'd be tempted to end the chapter there and not bother with the transitional summary that follows.

Chapter two is more active than the first, with more dialogue and less straight narrative.

Your writing is strong and clear and I've enjoyed reading as much as I have.

Backed.

Wilma1 wrote 1359 days ago

Good cover good pitch. You gave us a good account of life on campus and the illegal use of cooking equipment. I really got into this when Sophie starts talking about her Nan. It brought reality to the story and also was something I could relate to. Martin who is destined to become a love interest wears these strange scars. Ok so next question… how did he get them? I’ll just have to read on.

Wilma1
Knowing Liam Riley – I hope you can spare a moment to take a look

Wilma1 wrote 1359 days ago

Good cover good pitch. You gave us a good account of life on campus and the illegal use of cooking equipment. I really got into this when Sophie starts talking about her Nan. It brought reality to the story and also was something I could relate to. Martin who is destined to become a love interest wears these strange scars. Ok so next question… how did he get them? I’ll just have to read on.

Wilma1
Knowing Liam Riley – I hope you can spare a moment to take a look

Barry Wenlock wrote 1359 days ago

Wow, erika, this is something a bit special. Bravo.
Backed with pleasure, Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Chris S wrote 1360 days ago

I'm sure your first sentence will resonate with all Authonomists. Backed, for your quirky enigmatic opening.
CS

Telegraph wrote 1360 days ago

I enjoyed your writing style you have the ability to craft diolouge as if the charcters are sitting across the table from us. C W

Niobrara Kardnova wrote 1361 days ago

A very bizarre tale and well told. Your short pitch and the phrase "chewy center of the social strata" from your long pitch are clear evidence that you can write. The opening chapter gave me a clear picture of the "near-sighted" Sophie and a feel for The Went. The internal monologue was good--brought out the impulsive instincts followed by insecurities teenagers feel. I was surprised Sophie seemed obsessed with Martin's height but mentioned the scars only secondarily. After the opening chapters I skipped ahead to see where this was going. Loved the end of chapter twelve--"Pieces of him are (Jewish). Other than checking the spelling of Mengele, no strong suggestions for change. I found this to be a good mix of horror and romance, and the strangeness of the story should play well with YA readers. Backed.
Niobrara Kardnova (Family Irregulars)

ccb1 wrote 1361 days ago

Backed! Just the type of book teens love.
CC Brown
Dark Side

KW wrote 1362 days ago

"Sophie, I have a bad feeling about him." Well, he's electric at least. "I tried to focus on him, but find myself wondering if all this electricity is bad for me?" What a strange story. Martin isn't your average fellow and Sophie is, well, Sophie. "I am freaking, this is insane --- he's dead and what does it make me if I am in love with a dead person?" I'll be back to read more when I get a little more time. Backed for now.

lizjrnm wrote 1363 days ago

This is a wonderful read so far! Realistic characterizations and spot on dialogue! It is really refreshing to come across a Young adult book that doesn't rely on vampires and ghouls to drive the plot - just real life people and situations - I think publishers probably feel that way as well these days! Backed 100%

Liz
The Cheech Room

Erika wrote 1363 days ago

Hi Erika
I love the first person POV narrative here - you've made it really engaging. Be careful not to start too many paragraphs with 'I' though as once I spotted it, it detracted me from the story a little. The interaction between the characters is good though and you convey the thoughts and emotions well.
DP Walker
Five Dares



DP,

Thank you for the feedback and backing. I will be sure to check out your book. I am looking at the "I" population in the first chapter and making some edits.

I look forward to reading.

Erika

soutexmex wrote 1363 days ago

Erika: I jumped in at Chapter 6 and it works for me. Think you have your YA genre down perfectly. My niggles are the pitches. The short pitch just needs be rewritten outright. The long pitch should drop that last paragraph. You wanna sell this story, not tell it in the fashion that you have. But good, solid, writing. BACKED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

DP Walker wrote 1363 days ago

Hi Erika
I love the first person POV narrative here - you've made it really engaging. Be careful not to start too many paragraphs with 'I' though as once I spotted it, it detracted me from the story a little. The interaction between the characters is good though and you convey the thoughts and emotions well.
DP Walker
Five Dares

Cariad wrote 1364 days ago

Brilliant voice - I like this narrator at once. Intimate and conspiratorial tone. What you need in a book is to be caught by that voice and pulled right into their world, and you certainly do that here. Only one comment - VERY long first chapter, but that's just me, I say that a lot.
Watchlisted for a space to come up.
Polly
STONES.

Owen Quinn wrote 1364 days ago

Delightful story about coming of age and self discovery plus the added we don't really know other people despite what we think. Trust and honesty are rare commodities and here they are big themes. backed with pleasure.

Marija F.Sullivan wrote 1364 days ago

Wonderful, enjoyable chick lit. Backed with best wishes, M
- Weekend Chimney Sweep
- Sarajevo Walls of Fate

Bocri wrote 1364 days ago

26 July 2010
The practice of 'soliloquy' is an optimum ploy to convey thoughts, opinions, emotions and a raft of other emotions, reactions etc to the reader. The narrator in (the creator of) Pieces of Me is competent and fluent and needs only a few short paragraphs to make herself known to us. The prose fairly 'prattles' along -- this does not detract from the flow of the story but rather skilfully consolidates and adds detail to our 'visual' of Sophie. This facility with words to achieve this degree of portrayal is enviable. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run

yasmin esack wrote 1364 days ago

Super!

Backed

johnjoch wrote 1365 days ago

I like your writing style and your dialouge, as for the story it is getting to an exciting pitch by the end of the first chapter. I am backing this because I feel it will make the top of this site and make a great book. Regards JohnJ

Katy Christie wrote 1365 days ago

This is good stuff and you seem to have got everything right. My only criticism is a very long first chapter - but then I have a short attention span. Actually, it's a difficutly reading from the sceen. You have set up a very intriguing start to this novel; setting and dramatisation are good, as is your dialogue and your descriptive quality. I'd like to read more - a good sign - and I'm happy to back this.
Katy Christie
No Man No Cry

memphisgirl wrote 1365 days ago

You are quite skillful at rendering time, place, character, the ordinary. There's a guy on this site who could use your advice on writing sex scenes. In chapter two, no actual sex takes place, but the couple lays the groundwork for what they anticipate will become a physical relationship. Your ability to walk us through Sophie's first love and mingle it with the bitterness of Martin's "situation" is quite magical and extraordinary. Backed with confidence.
Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

Caroline Hartman wrote 1365 days ago

Erika,
Your writing is superb, well-lubricated, and so sweet. Somehow you just ease in little tidbits of information and it all fits like an interlocking vault. Sophie and Martin--I feel such saddness looming. I wish I could read more. You write beautifully. You've captured their youth,their timidity, their angst. I'm sure they are about to grow--whether or not they will like what that growth brings, I don't know. Best of luck.
Caroline
KC Hart
Summer Rose

MyLuckyChicken wrote 1365 days ago

Erika,
I am backing this book based on reading the first Chapter and wanting to read more! So far the characters are interesting, plot intriguing, I can't wait to read on!

Kathy :)

andrew skaife wrote 1365 days ago

You are a gifted writer and someone who obviously has the eye for human relationships that most gloss over in a rush to find the entrails of their plot as if they are afraid it will slip beyond their reach.

"Am I in love or insane? Is there much difference between those two points?" Is a fantastic and yet subtle aspect.

You have a wry and equally subtle sense of humour that scours through your work wonderfully. This is a perceptively written treatise on teenage psyche and relationships.

One thought is that mid way through the first chapter a lot of the paragraphs begin "I"; maybe too many. ALso a typo half way through the first chapter: "I gather (ed?) my books and stood up."

I like the stylistic strength you have as well: "It seemed once the Headmistress left that the room warmed up a few degrees and had a bit more oxygen," Is discrete and yet pucnhes a hole. In fact, the quote you chose for your pitch was a well chosen one and highlights that style. Martin's scars remind me of Moby Dick a little.

Overall the developing relationship is astutely and acutely written in a wonderful style and with great skill and talent.

BACKED

Becca wrote 1365 days ago

I love everything about this. If I saw it in a store I would purchase a copy and I don't say that lightly because i'm a veyr picky purchaser. A great story, great premise, I even liked the cover and title! It needs some polish still, but I'll leave the for some nit pickers to tackle. Good luck with this. I'm sure it will do well.

xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

Despinas1 wrote 1365 days ago

Dear Ericka, Pieces of Me is an awesome novel, Having skimmed through the first chapter, I felt intrigued, wanting to dive into the story. Had I seen this book in a bookstore I would buy it from its synopsis alone.
Congrats on posting it, I'm sure it will do well on this site.
Backed with utmost pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

lynn clayton wrote 1365 days ago

Your writing is so persuasive, you've made Martin seem like the most desirable thing on two legs. But there's something dangerous about him, I feel, and it's not only the scars.
Really excellent writing on every level and skillful characterisation delivered with a light touch - Nana, for instance, whom we learn about in bits and pieces as we go along, rather like life.
Very best for this. Backed, Lynn

Erika wrote 1365 days ago

'...that make you LOSE your breath.' Loose is to make looser, to free.

JMC



Oh, no! A dreaded typo on my first day (live)! Fixed...

Rusty Bernard wrote 1365 days ago

Hi Erika,

secrets, secrets always appeal to a young audience, they will love this.

I have backed your book because I was hooked by the pitch, loved the introduction and read on. How much more I read depends on time and commitment.

Enjoy everything and good luck.

Rusty Bernard
The Mental Pause

Erika wrote 1365 days ago

'...that make you LOSE your breath.' Loose is to make looser, to free.

JMC



Oh, no! A dreaded typo on my first day (live)! Fixed...

Erika wrote 1365 days ago

'...that make you LOSE your breath.' Loose is to make looser, to free.

JMC



Oh, no! A dreaded typo on my first day (live)! Fixed...

Jack Hughes wrote 1365 days ago

An excellent story Erika. You have strong voice and your characters have life and depth. Backed with pleasure. Best of luck.

Jack Hughes
Dawn of Shadows

Burgio wrote 1365 days ago

PIECES
This is a good coming of age story. You have a good character in Sophie. She’s likable in the beginning and becomes even more likable when she befriends Martin. He makes a good contrast to her. The idea of setting this in a private school works well. A small thing: Your pitch should read “lose your breath”, not “loose your breath”. I’m adding this to my shelf. If you have a moment, would you look at mine (Grain of Salt)? I’m in 8th place but only holding on by my teeth. Burgio

JMCornwell wrote 1365 days ago

'...that make you LOSE your breath.' Loose is to make looser, to free.

JMC

Neville wrote 1365 days ago

A lot going for this book but I need to read more later.
Have backed it on the Pitch which is very good.
SHELVED.

regard's,

Neville (The Secrets Of The Forest) would be pleased if you get the time to take a look.

name falied moderation wrote 1365 days ago

Dear Erika
The book cover is a gem , so liked it, and your short pitch is great. I do like a long pitch but yours is so well crafted it did it for me, I just wanted to read on great pitch for sure, certainly one of the most effective on site. Cover and pitches are my pet thingy. anyways I have not read all your work but will comment more later but for now
BACKED BY ME FOR SURE
If you would take a look at my book and back it that would be soooo great. if not that is OK also
VERY best of luck
Denise
The Letter

Jilli wrote 1365 days ago

Just read the first three chapters and feel that I have to read more, I want to know what's going to happen. It's very descriptive and keeps the reader interested. like it.

PATRICK BARRETT wrote 1365 days ago

Very interesting read for a young audience. There is a lot of potential here. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Lanson wrote 1365 days ago

Any book starring an old Alfa Spider is ok with me. And then I read on. I want to read the whole thing!

SusieGulick wrote 1365 days ago

Dear Erika, I love how you put me with you in the story as if I was really there - my heart goes out to Martin. :) We've all be hurt somehow & love heals all. :) Good for Sophie & her compassion & sensitivity. :) Great write. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Could you please take a moment to back my 2 memoir books? Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."
backed :)
Love, Susie :)

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