North

What Jane said. Utterly gripping stuff. Clever writing, intriguing characters, baffling, tricksy plot and intertexuality.

Is there more? And can I read it? I know that, had I found this in a bookshop, I'd have bought it, had I been able to stop reading long enough to do so. Please, sir, can I have some more?

Paul,
I just dipped into this to see, and couldn’t stop until I’d read all you uploaded. Now I am wondering why it is where it is after so long. You must have taken the book down for more than a year. I really hope you get it going again, this is excellent writing, I found hardly anything to pick up on.
I loved the prologue, as someone who hates the cold and the winter, this counts as a horror story for me.
Just one stylistic comment; the last line of the prologue sounds a bit abrupt as if the last part of the phrase needs another verb.

First chapter, love the T.S. Elliot allusion at the beginning.
I found it a bit confusing at first to follow your chapter headings, but the story is tremendous, beautifully well-written, unerring dialogue and each word in the right place. Both strands of the story are gripping, Lucas and Flynn (excellent dialogue here), and Marcus and the Dragon. The sci fi parts are intelligible to even a numbskull like me, so you must be doing something right there too.

Chapter 10 the hot cider turns into beer.

That’s all I noticed.

You need to get this book advertised a bit. I’ve put it on the fantasy library thread of the forum; you might get some readers that way. Sorry I can’t give more criticism, but this is too good. All I can do is put it on my watch list for now, though it deserves shelf space, and give it six stars.
Best of luck
Jane

HI,
Very well written. The plot is very clever.
All the best.
Backed.

S. Vinay kumar.
the ark and the aroma of peril

What a facinating read. Very intriging and with polished charcters and diolouge. C W

Good old murder mystery with a brilliant twist, the aristocrats murder plus the asylum reminds me of Victorian london and that problem people disappeared into these places, some said they were the places the most dangerous secrets lived. This whole realm is well painted for the reader and even the cover evokes an other worldliness that could be the near future but not, if that makes sense. By placing the characters and the murder here, you have given what could be a tired old formula a kick in the nuts and made it interesting again.

31 July 2010
With prose that is almost lyrically, certainly graphic and visual, North signals that it is to be an enthralling story. The opening description of the bitterly cold locale and driving winds masterfully conveys to the reader the barrenness of the setting. The dialogue is realistic and credible, in Flynn's place I would have said the same thing, and the sterility of the location, marvellously created with top drawer prose, does not extend to the characters who are already three dimensional. This novel has 'it'. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run

Paul: I jumped in on Chapter 15 and the writing works. What needs to be edited are those pitches. Both of them do not display your writing ability to its best. BACKED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Yes. The first wind chases and corrals. Water vapor freezes. Rivers run, men sift cold air. Doesn't get any better than this.

Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

Wow - what a gifted imagination you have and the talent for putting it into words! Well crafted and polished so far and easy to see this published.

Backed with pleasure.

Liz
The Cheech Room

An interesting story with well developed characters. Awesome world building. Vivid writing. Backed.

An atmospheric journey to Bethlehem Hospital with great description of the weather and excellent dialogue between Flynn and Lucas. Plenty of suspense in the finding of the head and an enticing hook to ch 2.
I wondered if ch 1 wouldn't be better incorporated into ch2 so that we get to the action quicker? Just a thought. Backed. Lynn

NORTH
This is a story that should appeal to both fantasy and horror readers (when they find the parts of bodies, it’s really scary). You have a good balance between dialogue and description; makes this easy to read and gives it a nice feeling of always moving forward. I’m adding it to my shelf. If you have a moment, would you look at mine (Grain of Salt)? I’m in 8th place but only holding on by my teeth. Burgio

You have crafted a most interesting, unique and compelling storyline. I do like it. And I also like the characters Flynn, Lucas and Marcus. Your use of short paragraphs and crisp dialogue keeps your story flowing at a rapid pace. All of this coupled with your imaginative writing makes your fantasy a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Hi Paul, Good action story and especially because the dialogue is concise and reflects the tense situation, always furthering the mystery of the asylum. Lucas and Flynn almost going back and then entering the asylum, the dark person who called to them, and then the lights coming on – this is exciting stuff! I liked how I was gradually being acquainted with their individual personalities through the search for a door. Good momentum! Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Brilliant...... Absolutely Brilliant. I'm actually quite lost for words, so let me just say a few to reinforce my admiration for this piece "North". Loved it.
Backed with pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

Dear Paul
I would like to commend you on your pitch the long one as this is what grabbed me first. I have started the read and really gotten into you writing quite easily. I have not read it all but will and comment later when finished. however I do wish to support your fast climb to the top and you are well on your way.
BACKED BY ME FOR SURE
If you would take a look at my book and back it that would be soooo great. if not that is OK also
VERY best of luck
Denise
The Letter

fast paced it certainly is. Check your plurals and negatives in that first line (cold winds are plural, the first of them referes to a multiple in description only and not noun formation- it should be they etc.)

You give a good account of a terrible environment that could test the metel of the ingigeonous Innuit.

BACKED

This mesmerizes. Well executed.

Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

Awesome!

Backed with pleasure

Please excuse the brevity of this comment but I am still getting used to the site and it seems to take me an age to be able to get around to everyone who I believe has writing that should be backed. I will back you now and return with comments as soon as things settle down with the constant backings and messages. Thanx

This is a very good read, sharp, snappy and evocative. Your MC's, Lucas and Flinn, quickly establish themselves with the reader. Description is good but watch how many times you use the word 'cold'. Only crit - for me chapter 3 is not needed. It adds nothing except a bit of confusion. Just a thought.
Jim Darcy
The Firelord's Crown

Dear Paul, I love your ending - would you go to sleep? :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Could you please take a moment to back my 2 memoir books? Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."
backed :)
Love, Susie :)