Captain Clyde : birth of a superhero?

Your story isn't that bad you but you need to change names. You are using names too close to real wrestling personalities and this would never fly should your book be published. Ex: Victor Kenneth Mac or VKM...Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Ross James, good ol' R.J. = Jim Ross, Good ol' J.R., Stacy Mac=Stephanie McMahon, Jimmy O'Shea The Scottish Warrior=Sheamus The Celtic Warrior. I don't think I have to point these out I'm sure you get it. Just try to be more original...unless this was intentional? I'm a little confused. The whole 'wrestler superhero' thing also kind of reminds me of Owen Hart, but I don't think most people would read this, and think about him, that's probably just me because he was one of my favorite wrestlers growing up. But the fact that he is a pro wrestler who is now a superhero, and a kind of silly, clumsy one, well that was basically the Blue Blazer gimmick that Owen Hart did. Now I'm not trying to be rude or totally knock the story. I think if you make it a bit more original by simply changing the names that would be good. The idea behind the story is entertaining. Oh and I almost forgot...Cole Fergwads the newbie announcer, Michael Cole...but that made me laugh so hard!! I might start referring to Michael Cole as 'Fergwads' now lol!

-J.P.

chapter 1 is chapter 1 then comes chapter 2--it has been split into chapters; the first 4 chapters ( 1 & 2 are up for reading ) 3 & 4 need to editied and chapter 5 is currenlty is in crafting mode while the final chapter(s) are being planned. as for your editng suggestions ...thanks but that is the main reason i need a book/publishing contract so i can get a professional editor then a professional publisher then my book into book shelves then the movie deal then themerchendising deals then my old fund is set and then i can also take care of my ma.
anything else you wish answers for?????
by the way take a look at a harry potter book it too has alot of pages for chapters as well--i looked at a lot of books so i could get a sense of chapter lengths

Hi Jeff,
I really enjoyed reading this, although your first chapter was so long, I only managed half of it in half an hour and had no more time. You might think of shortening it (dividing into two chapters, easily done).
Grant Grabowski is such a great name for a wrestler and he's wonderful character.
We can tell he's a good guy by how he tries to rescue the girl in the water, but unfortunatly he falls in himself and ends up in hospital. Very amusing.
He's not really very tough and 'shakes like a leaf '( I liked that)
Your speech marks are all over the place "Silence" "sit down" Allow me to introduce myself ("Silence! Sit down. Allow me to introduce....and why you are here." ie. all in speech marks, no need to separate silence and sit down).
"If" should be 'If'
I liked the part in the zoo with the monkeys cursing. Excellent.
Enjoyed Jimmy and the tag team and the hose ("suck, kid"). Very funny.

This is a very entertaining and imaginative story, with a superb main character. It needs a little loving kindness but has lots of potential.
Backed with pleasure,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Hi Jeff,
I really enjoyed reading this, although your first chapter was so long, I only managed half of it in half an hour and had no more time. You might think of shortening it (dividing into two chapters, easily done).
Grant Grabowski is such a great name for a wrestler and he's wonderful character.
We can tell he's a good guy by how he tries to rescue the girl in the water, but unfortunatly he falls in himself and ends up in hospital. Very amusing.
He's not really very tough and 'shakes like a leaf '( I liked that)
Your speech marks are all over the place "Silence" "sit down" Allow me to introduce myself ("Silence! Sit down. Allow me to introduce....and why you are here." ie. all in speech marks, no need to separate silence and sit down).
"If" should be 'If'
I liked the part in the zoo with the monkeys cursing. Excellent.
Enjoyed Jimmy and the tag team and the hose ("suck, kid"). Very funny.

This is a very entertaining and imaginative story, with a superb main character. It needs a little loving kindness but has lots of potential.
Backed with pleasure,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

You are totally fantastic, Jeff. :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my 2 memoir books? :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Jeff: good read, bad formatting. You really need to break this MS into multiple chapters or rish alienating the casual reader strolling by. Good writing and pitches. BACKED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Well written and fascinating read.

backed

This is the strangest tale. I had to stop some way through and check the genre because at first I thought it was biography. That's because of the style, very simple and direct and of course in the first person.
The blue chair, the enclosed room, the voice shouting , I thought you were describing a vision until it got to the lycra.
OK, I may be batty, but it's not a mistake I often make about sci-fi. This is a very engaging and plausible read, if I can use the word. This is exactly how someone would feel on becoming a goofy super-hero. Backed. Lynn

Pro wrestling superhero? Gotta love it ;) As a fan of pro wrestling, the fact that you are writing in first person fits very well and the writing style fits to the mind of Grant. Backed for sure.

Dear Jeff
I am really looking forward to seeing a book cover on your work, sure it will be great. The long pitch was the thing that grabbed me...I will carry on reading and will comment later. but till then I want to support your climb to the top, so
BACKED BY ME FOR SURE
If you would take a look at my book , please make ( I hope positive comments) and back it..... that would be much appreciated.... if not that is OK also
VERY best of luck
Denise

CAPTAIN CLYDE
This is an interesting story: an inside look into a pro wrestler’s mind and the entire sport of pro-wrestling. It’s a little rambling in places because the first person narrator doesn’t always stay on topic, but that’s also the charm of the story. I’m adding it to my shelf. If you have a moment, would you look at mine (Grain of Salt)? I’m in 8th place but only holding on by my teeth. Burgio

Backed. Will return with further comments
Helen
The Last Dream

Unique and quirky! Backed with pleasure.

Liz
The Cheech Room

Hi Jeff,

never mind tha errors for the time being. This is a great yarn so just keep on keeping on.

I have backed your book because I was hooked by the pitch, loved the introduction and read on. How much more I read depends on time and commitment.

Enjoy everything and good luck.

Rusty Bernard
The Mental Pause

Hi Jeff,

never mind tha errors for the time being. This is a great yarn so just keep on keeping on.

I have backed your book because I was hooked by the pitch, loved the introduction and read on. How much more I read depends on time and commitment.

Enjoy everything and good luck.

Rusty Bernard
The Mental Pause

Hi Jeff,

never mind tha errors for the time being. This is a great yarn so just keep on keeping on.

I have backed your book because I was hooked by the pitch, loved the introduction and read on. How much more I read depends on time and commitment.

Enjoy everything and good luck.

Rusty Bernard
The Mental Pause

Hi Jeff, your book's very good but there are some errors with missing word's.
I think it needs splitting down into Chapter's as well which you will probably do when editing.
I like the way its going and the story itself.
I back your book. SHELVED.

regard's,

Neville (The Secrets Of The Forest) please take a look if you have the time.

Dear Jeff, I love you wild story - inter-galactic, even - something else. :) I love that it is all in one chapter, too, so that I don't have to wait so long for each page. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) You may want to cut longer paragraphs in 2 or many more for us with short attention spans who tend to miss the middles :) - when you use short paragraphs & dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Could you please take a moment to back my 2 memoir books? Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."
backed :)
Love, Susie :)