HIS KINGDOM COME

This New Testament novel has been self-published through WestBow Press. I am hoping for a traditional publisher to discover it and pick it up. I've deleted several of the last chapters because the book is now being sold in the marketplace in hardcover, softcover, and e-book formats. I'd appreciate any feedback or reviews. Thanks!

This is absolutely riveting and a great depiction. I'm no bible scholar but I presume that any dialogue that Jesus is speaking is found in the Bible. Correct. You are an excellent writer.

-Twhit

Dear Margaret

I have been fascinated by your book over the last few days and am enjoying your unique perspective of the Jesus story. My book, a historical fiction, set in the twelfth century, has a christian theme within it. In fact in the next chapter which I will be posting by the end of the week several of my characters discuss the origin of their respective faiths and the nature of Jesus.I would be grateful for your comments, particularly any grave errors of fact that I may have inadvertently commited. I am rather in awe of your command of the Jesus' story, and abilty to present it in a fresh way, while I know I have only been superficial in my treatment of it. Good luck with your book.

regards

Brian

Hey, Margaret, enjoying your work. :-) I love history, I love Christianity. You've a good structure, your sentences are consistent, and you flow your journey path well.

sincerely,
jim
jack & charmian london

You have written a very interesting and unique biblical storyline, which I do like, and I also like your use of the first person narrative voice. This adds a certain authenticity to the unfolding events. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

I hope there is a demand for books of this nature because it needs to be read.
Beautifully written with a very original if centuries old storyline and meticulous research, I'm glad to have read some of it.
I don't edit, simply comment as to the quality of the writing and the time and effort spent on it.
Backed with pleasure. Margaret.

Okay, fist thing, someone said the chapters are too long…BS. They encompass a certain time and/or action. The narration flows well (though I would recommend a little more “showing” and less “telling”). The dialogue moves the story along.
Ch 2 is all narration and flashback…could you change that? Try internal dialogue.
Ch 3 is much better…gets the reader involved.
Ch 4 and 5 are what you need…there reader sees, hears, is stepping into history.
Using fist person narrator is both easy and demanding. The POV belongs to only one character and must be like a movie camera.
I think you’ve got a great story…a little buffing and it will shine.
Backed.

I can't tell you how well-timed and encouraging your comments are to me today. The literary agent I wanted and have waited to hear from declined the book saying that biblical fiction is very hard to find a publisher for. She said the beginning didn't draw her in enough. If you were drawn in, as was a book editor, who gave the work a thorough diagonistic critique (and who used to be the senior editor doing fiction at a well-known Christian publishing house) maybe it's actually good. I am looking into self-publishing. I did the same with GOD IN SANDALS

Hi Margaret, Your story telling is remarkable. I like how the perspective is that of Jesus' brother. Characters come to life and so much is revealed so effortlessly.
Backed with pleasure and thanks, Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

I can't tell you how well-timed and encouraging your comments are to me today. The literary agent I wanted and have waited to hear from declined the book saying that biblical fiction is very hard to find a publisher for. She said the beginning didn't draw her in enough. If you were drawn in, as was a book editor, who gave the work a thorough diagonistic critique (and who used to be the senior editor doing fiction at a well-known Christian publishing house) maybe it's actually good. I am looking into self-publishing. I did the same with GOD IN SANDALS

Hi Margaret, Your story telling is remarkable. I like how the perspective is that of Jesus' brother. Characters come to life and so much is revealed so effortlessly.
Backed with pleasure and thanks, Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Hi Margaret, Your story telling is remarkable. I like how the perspective is that of Jesus' brother. Characters come to life and so much is revealed so effortlessly.
Backed with pleasure and thanks, Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Good writing, intruiging premise, GREAT opening, didn't read much but hope to come back later. From what I saw, I am impressed. Backed.

Please take a look at Finding Little Big Foot when you have time. Thanks, and best wishes with this impressive book!

HIS KINGDOM COME
This is both an interesting and a novel idea for a story. I like the way you tell this in first person from a brother’s standpoint; really lets a reader get an inside look at what the first days of the new church must have looked like. I think you’ll find a wide audience for this among people who are disillusioned by their present church and will appreciate a reminder that being a Christian was not always well accepted. I’m happy to add it to my shelf. If you have a moment, would you look at mine (Grain of Salt)? I’m in 3rd place but only holding on by my teeth. Burgio

Dear Margaret, I love that you have lifted God up by your story - what great scriptures. :) God bless you 100 fold back for taking the time to rightly divide the Word of Truth. I have already backed your book :) - hope you'll take a moment to back my 2 memoir/testimony books. :) Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

Dear Margaret
It is so inspiring to read His Kingdom Come, written with so much passion and love for Christ. I've backed this novel because I too feel the same connection to that passion, and look forward to reading it and returning with further comments.
Backed with utmost pleasure
Congratulations on posting it, may it bring you the success it deserves and its message conveyed to all with blessings.
Helen
The Last Dream