Book Jacket

 

rank 108
word count 67248
date submitted 31.08.2010
date updated 31.03.2014
genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Fantasy,...
classification: adult
incomplete

Out Of Orleans

Lee J. Pedesclaux

The ultimate battle for the soul of a boy to man's life, and a final surprising outcome.

 

This is a brutal assault about a boy to man's life. The potential influences the protagonist meets along the way that should mold his young life. There's a bitter sweet relationship between Jacques and the other characters. Then "KABOOM", an enslaving addiction that stares at you square in the face.

The military training, conspiracies and failed attempt to build a warrior during the The Cold War. There's a darkness that beckons you inside of it evoking empathy, shock and horror. This is not a story for the faint of heart! As the story unfolds it has a thought provoking balanced and odd spiritual illumination that should keep you immersed in the pages. "Out Of Orleans" explores certain areas of life that are not commonly talked about in todays polite society.

**Comments**
"Surely a masterpiece of literary fiction. Bravo!"
"This is a well written and exciting book, you do it in a way that makes us want to keep reading no matter what!"
"Interesting read"
"WOW I see bestseller. Amazing book really grabs and takes hold of you. I Really like the writing style. I really hope to see this book on the shelves."

 
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tags

7th ward, action, addiction, air force, art, boy to mans life, catholic, cold war, conspiracies, contemporary, crime, dark, death, deception, demons, ...

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120 comments

 

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Lee J. P. wrote 245 days ago

Clive, thank you for the awesome review! I'm going back to school so haven't been on much. I really appreciate your taking the time to post this. Wishing you great success with your work. Thanks, Lee

Deep and fascinating story with shades of classical mysticism allied to a riveting plot. Out of Orleans dares to cover those often forbidden realms that lessor writers steer away from. Illumination and insight are just two nouns which can be applied to this work without reservation. Though needing a little editing attention, it is an excellent read which deserves high stars and WL. Bookshelf contender when complete.

Clive Radford
Doghouse Blues

Software wrote 254 days ago

Deep and fascinating story with shades of classical mysticism allied to a riveting plot. Out of Orleans dares to cover those often forbidden realms that lessor writers steer away from. Illumination and insight are just two nouns which can be applied to this work without reservation. Though needing a little editing attention, it is an excellent read which deserves high stars and WL. Bookshelf contender when complete.

Clive Radford
Doghouse Blues

Seringapatam wrote 490 days ago

Yes I have to agree with a few people here, the dreaded edit. I paid a fortune to get mine done and its still not fully done. It does distract from a good story though. Well done and good luck with it.
Sean Connolly British Army on the Rampage (B.A.O.R)

LionEagle wrote 554 days ago

Lee, I was talking to my brother-in-law and your name came up. You went to school with him. Then I searched the internet by chance to see if I found your name and up pops this site. Man, so you into writing now. I am not surprised. You were very creative while we were in grammar school. Well, I need to read your book. It seems interesting. I'll get back. Leon

Lee J. P. wrote 576 days ago

Thanks Abby and please know that your comment is appreciated. Will work on it more... 1 Love~

This is a good book, but the grammatical errors make it hard to get through. Even just in the pitch - it should be "man's life." That's the first sentence of the book, with it having an error readers will be adverse to reading more. Although, in later chapters it does get better, like someone else is writing, but the grammatical errors stay the same, so it links back to the writer of earlier chapters.

Get some editing done on this. You can do it yourself. "Self Editing for Fiction Writers" is a good place to start.

Abby

Abby Vandiver wrote 577 days ago

This is a good book, but the grammatical errors make it hard to get through. Even just in the pitch - it should be "man's life." That's the first sentence of the book, with it having an error readers will be adverse to reading more. Although, in later chapters it does get better, like someone else is writing, but the grammatical errors stay the same, so it links back to the writer of earlier chapters.

Get some editing done on this. You can do it yourself. "Self Editing for Fiction Writers" is a good place to start.

Abby

Lee J. P. wrote 582 days ago

Thanks Katherine! I really appreciate your time, comments and support! 1 Love~

Hi Lee, What an ebullient narrator, catching me with the ordeals of a war veteran and his aware opinions. I had to read on, owing to his sayings that were either right or felt right. Yet he doesn't feel right back in the U.S., and the happenings at his house are told with the same forthright attitude of his politics. This is unusual, told with fervor, and the pace with the vividness of real life. I liked how the experience of war affected or was even prolonged in the back-home environment. Flows well and captures. Shelved - Katherine

klouholmes wrote 585 days ago

Hi Lee, What an ebullient narrator, catching me with the ordeals of a war veteran and his aware opinions. I had to read on, owing to his sayings that were either right or felt right. Yet he doesn't feel right back in the U.S., and the happenings at his house are told with the same forthright attitude of his politics. This is unusual, told with fervor, and the pace with the vividness of real life. I liked how the experience of war affected or was even prolonged in the back-home environment. Flows well and captures. Shelved - Katherine

Lee J. P. wrote 588 days ago

Thanks Jesamine. I've been aware that I need a good editor and can't afford one presently. I don't jhave the skill set to do it either = ( Will let you know once it gets sorted out and thanks for your time... 1 Love~

You have a really great story going on here, but you're going to struggle to an agent, or anyone, to get past the first chapter because it needs a bloody good edit.
You describe things well and have the imagination to write a good story. Let me know when you're sorted it out and I'll take another look.
Jesamine.

Lee J. P. wrote 593 days ago

Thanks so much for your time and comment... I really appreciate it! Thanks 1 Love~

WOW I see bestseller. Amazing book really grabs and takes hold of you. I Really like the writing style. I really hope to see this book on the shelves.

pondboy89 wrote 594 days ago

WOW I see bestseller. Amazing book really grabs and takes hold of you. I Really like the writing style. I really hope to see this book on the shelves.

Lee J. P. wrote 599 days ago

Thanks James. I have been told that it holds promise, and is need of some serious editing... I really would appreciate you shelving it and perhaps backing it if you'd do that for me. I'm getting ready to do some serious cooking today so I'll check back later. Thanks 1 Love~

and

Came back to read chapter 1 and so glad I did. There are some typos and formatting issues but content wise it was very good, from the political rant at the beginning to the drug fuelled escapades of Jacques this shows quite a spectrum of topics.
This kind of lifetime story, from growing up in New Orleans, the period as a businessman and drug dealer on the side, and then into military service and finally sitting at the window in a VA hospital, not only makes a great book but would make a great movie in the American Gangster vein.
Very interesting opening that just needs a bit of tidying up.
James

J C Michael wrote 599 days ago

Came back to read chapter 1 and so glad I did. There are some typos and formatting issues but content wise it was very good, from the political rant at the beginning to the drug fuelled escapades of Jacques this shows quite a spectrum of topics.
This kind of lifetime story, from growing up in New Orleans, the period as a businessman and drug dealer on the side, and then into military service and finally sitting at the window in a VA hospital, not only makes a great book but would make a great movie in the American Gangster vein.
Very interesting opening that just needs a bit of tidying up.
James

Lee J. P. wrote 647 days ago

Thanks for your review "Wanttobeawriter" and yes I will take your suggestion. I've been out of the loop taking care of my Mom's transition in to assisted living. It's going on six weeks here... I'm waiting on a new key board that should arrive today (YAY). And I am considering a professional editor prior to getting to the the ED. Again, thank you for taking the time to review and comment on my work. I really appreciate you! 1 Love~

OUT OF ORLEANS
This is a story with a dramatic beginning: first the narrator relating how he’s been in a veteran’s hospital for 28 years; then the story of Jacques. I like the “inside” feel to the way you explain how to cook cocaine; makes a reader feel as if they’re being let in on something maybe they shouldn’t know. Going back in the next chapter and describing Jacques’ childhood is a good way to justify how he arrived at the point he’s at in life. A small thing: I had trouble in the beginning deciding if Jacques was the same person as the narrator. Is there a way to make that clearer? Either way, this is a good read. I’m starring it highly and adding it to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Wanttobeawriter wrote 652 days ago

OUT OF ORLEANS
This is a story with a dramatic beginning: first the narrator relating how he’s been in a veteran’s hospital for 28 years; then the story of Jacques. I like the “inside” feel to the way you explain how to cook cocaine; makes a reader feel as if they’re being let in on something maybe they shouldn’t know. Going back in the next chapter and describing Jacques’ childhood is a good way to justify how he arrived at the point he’s at in life. A small thing: I had trouble in the beginning deciding if Jacques was the same person as the narrator. Is there a way to make that clearer? Either way, this is a good read. I’m starring it highly and adding it to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Lee J. P. wrote 713 days ago

Kim, thanks for that insightful comment. I seriously need a professional editor and my work needs all the help that it can get. Again, Thanks Lee J.

You have an unusual and distinct way of writing. There were a lot of punctuation errors and some text where there were no speech marks and yet it was speech but these things are easily remedied. I enjoyed the very beginning of the book when the veteran is looking out of the window and suggests that the institution he is in is a secret. I would suggest that you elaborate on this before you go into the main story to build up to what is to come. Best of luck with Out of Orleans.

Kim (Pain)

Kim Padgett-Clarke wrote 713 days ago

You have an unusual and distinct way of writing. There were a lot of punctuation errors and some text where there were no speech marks and yet it was speech but these things are easily remedied. I enjoyed the very beginning of the book when the veteran is looking out of the window and suggests that the institution he is in is a secret. I would suggest that you elaborate on this before you go into the main story to build up to what is to come. Best of luck with Out of Orleans.

Kim (Pain)

Lee J. P. wrote 719 days ago

Thank you ever so much for your comment! I really appreciate your support and hope that you can assist me in making it to the E.D. Thanks! 1 Love~

fascinating story!

patio wrote 719 days ago

fascinating story!

Shelby Z. wrote 733 days ago

You open this very well. It draws readers in.
The realistic part adds more interest to the beginning with a pull that not many people may know.
Your words flow well in the development of your story.
Good work!

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. When you have time, please take a look at my pirate adventure Driving Winds.

Lee J. P. wrote 736 days ago

Thanks so much Adeel, I really appreciate your time and comment. Sincerely, Lee J. 1 Love~

A nice, descriptive and well written book. Your writing style is very impressive, dialogue are realistic with vivid charachters and narrative is at great pace. Highly rated.

Adeel wrote 736 days ago

A nice, descriptive and well written book. Your writing style is very impressive, dialogue are realistic with vivid charachters and narrative is at great pace. Highly rated.

Lee J. P. wrote 810 days ago

Wow! Thanks for the support and awesome words! I really appreciate you! 1 Love~

Words jumped right off the page......grabbed ahold of me...... and didn't let go until the last word was read..... In your face...........honest.... gut wrenching.....message of experience, strength and hope....
LOVED IT!! I want MORE... :-)

Lee J. P. wrote 810 days ago

Thanks Lynn, I really appreciate the support! And if you think of it return bi-weekly, that would be so awesome! 1 Love~~~~~~~

You have an awesome way of sharing your thought ~ Keep up the great work my friend.

blondieko4u wrote 810 days ago

Words jumped right off the page......grabbed ahold of me...... and didn't let go until the last word was read..... In your face...........honest.... gut wrenching.....message of experience, strength and hope....
LOVED IT!! I want MORE... :-)

LynnT wrote 810 days ago

You have an awesome way of sharing your thoughts ~ Keep up the great work my friend.

LynnT wrote 810 days ago

You have an awesome way of sharing your thought ~ Keep up the great work my friend.

Lee J. P. wrote 836 days ago

Thanks Andrew! I've got a new project that I'm working on and have to give this more attention! 1 Love~

KEEP DRIVING THIS BABY.....NOT FAR AWAY?

andrew DOYLE wrote 838 days ago

KEEP DRIVING THIS BABY.....NOT FAR AWAY?

Lee J. P. wrote 891 days ago

Thanks Rhonn! Hope that all is well in the DTX! 1 Love~

Congrat's Lee...
Wishing you much success ALWAYS!
Rhonn R. Dallas/Ft. Worth TX

Rhonn64 wrote 891 days ago

Congrat's Lee...
Wishing you much success ALWAYS!
Rhonn R. Dallas/Ft. Worth TX

Lee J. P. wrote 894 days ago

Thanks Towanna and I have the same wish... 1 Love~

Although I have not read the entire book yet, I will as it really has grabbed me. Based on the first chapter, this book should be put in the stores so folks can feel the real honesty in the pages. I will continue to send my opinion, as I continue to read this. Towanna (Seattle52)

seattle52 wrote 894 days ago

Although I have not read the entire book yet, I will as it really has grabbed me. Based on the first chapter, this book should be put in the stores so folks can feel the real honesty in the pages. I will continue to send my opinion, as I continue to read this. Towanna (Seattle52)

Lee J. P. wrote 918 days ago

Right On! And I look forward to your input... Thanks

Hi Lee thanks for introducing me to the site...I'm looking forward to reading the book...I will chat with you soon.
Smiles,
Melinda

Melinda P wrote 918 days ago

Hi Lee thanks for introducing me to the site...I'm looking forward to reading the book...I will chat with you soon.
Smiles,
Melinda

Lee J. P. wrote 946 days ago

chuckling... Been too busy deleting chapters and just got finished and posted Chap 37! I've got the rest read to take it to 41 and it's finished. Marketing will be the effort of the days ahead. Thanks for checking on me and I love the new cover... 1 Love~

159 C'mon Lee think marketing?

andrew DOYLE wrote 946 days ago

159 C'mon Lee think marketing?

Lee J. P. wrote 959 days ago

Thanks ever so much and I've made some initial changes based on your suggestions. I wish that I had the time right now to work it all out... Personal message me if you want the details of "Now"! Thanks again and I really appreciate your support. 1 Love~

Hi Lee

Sorry for the delay in returning the read. Ok so your pitch, for me I found it hard to read in one block and would maybe look a splitting into paragraphs so it's easier on the eye. Also, 'affect' should be 'effect'

Ok so your firs chapter, a couple of things I noted. Of course this is all only my opinion and I don't tend to read heavy lit fic so it could just be that I'm missing the point with some, if that's the case then i do apologise...

'this place is or people like me who got lost or who became homeless' - I'd remove the second 'who' as it feels a touch repetitive. 

'did you know that one in every three homeless (I would put 'person' here instead of people) in America are (I'd use 'is' instead of are) a veteran?'

The spelling out of 1982 I stumbled over, but that may just be down to style.

You have a lot of 'that' sprinkled in there, just a heads up. The punctuation is, to me, a little off but again, I know the rules are sometimes applied differently in this genre. 

The intro I liked. It was like a long, rambling thought but I'm a little confused so far with how this links in with Jacques. Maybe it'll get clearer as I read on.

The bit about Marabina (lovely name btw) I felt that the 'beautiful, witty and stunning' felt a bit repetitive because of the 'stunning'. To me, this is the same a beautiful, if a little more potent and personally I didn't think you needed both.

He started smoking weed when he was 10. You say 'one year before he separated from active duty' for some reason it read to me like the one year before was when he was 9??

The intro of Trace, you have Jacques say to him not to talk about his mum like that, but I don't recall Jacques mum being mentioned...

Looking into the kitchen - who's looking into the kitchen? Wife beater?? What is that? An article of clothing? Maybe a US/UK lost in translation thing...

Some of the narrative is telling us about dialogue taking place, personally I'd prefer to read it as dialogue, but thats just me.

He is wondering if these two women are the pigs - to me this felt as if he was expecting the police to arrive?

Ok, so Jacques is a bit of a lamo. He has it all but he's coming across as a self centred, arrogant drug dependant good for nothing. I'm guessing by your last sentence he's soon going to be learning a lesson...

Chapter 2

All most - should be almost 

All ways - should be always

So, this is the young Jacques. 

The narrative here feels much, much better and fits the age of Jacques perfectly in terms of the disjointed sentences. 

A man of colour? I don't like that. Though I guess it's probably inkeeping with the time period.

The bit about the woman touching his hair was very nicely done. Hard to believe that stuff still goes on today.

This chapter is, I felt, much easier to read than the first and by showing us his childhood you've made me begin to think a bit better about him. I did think that maybe he'd come from money in the first chapter so it was nice to see that the opposite was true.

I'm having to read off my phone as my net is down so I can't really read much more than this, and sorry of my message is written weird.

Silva

silvachilla wrote 961 days ago

Hi Lee

Sorry for the delay in returning the read. Ok so your pitch, for me I found it hard to read in one block and would maybe look a splitting into paragraphs so it's easier on the eye. Also, 'affect' should be 'effect'

Ok so your firs chapter, a couple of things I noted. Of course this is all only my opinion and I don't tend to read heavy lit fic so it could just be that I'm missing the point with some, if that's the case then i do apologise...

'this place is or people like me who got lost or who became homeless' - I'd remove the second 'who' as it feels a touch repetitive. 

'did you know that one in every three homeless (I would put 'person' here instead of people) in America are (I'd use 'is' instead of are) a veteran?'

The spelling out of 1982 I stumbled over, but that may just be down to style.

You have a lot of 'that' sprinkled in there, just a heads up. The punctuation is, to me, a little off but again, I know the rules are sometimes applied differently in this genre. 

The intro I liked. It was like a long, rambling thought but I'm a little confused so far with how this links in with Jacques. Maybe it'll get clearer as I read on.

The bit about Marabina (lovely name btw) I felt that the 'beautiful, witty and stunning' felt a bit repetitive because of the 'stunning'. To me, this is the same a beautiful, if a little more potent and personally I didn't think you needed both.

He started smoking weed when he was 10. You say 'one year before he separated from active duty' for some reason it read to me like the one year before was when he was 9??

The intro of Trace, you have Jacques say to him not to talk about his mum like that, but I don't recall Jacques mum being mentioned...

Looking into the kitchen - who's looking into the kitchen? Wife beater?? What is that? An article of clothing? Maybe a US/UK lost in translation thing...

Some of the narrative is telling us about dialogue taking place, personally I'd prefer to read it as dialogue, but thats just me.

He is wondering if these two women are the pigs - to me this felt as if he was expecting the police to arrive?

Ok, so Jacques is a bit of a lamo. He has it all but he's coming across as a self centred, arrogant drug dependant good for nothing. I'm guessing by your last sentence he's soon going to be learning a lesson...

Chapter 2

All most - should be almost 

All ways - should be always

So, this is the young Jacques. 

The narrative here feels much, much better and fits the age of Jacques perfectly in terms of the disjointed sentences. 

A man of colour? I don't like that. Though I guess it's probably inkeeping with the time period.

The bit about the woman touching his hair was very nicely done. Hard to believe that stuff still goes on today.

This chapter is, I felt, much easier to read than the first and by showing us his childhood you've made me begin to think a bit better about him. I did think that maybe he'd come from money in the first chapter so it was nice to see that the opposite was true.

I'm having to read off my phone as my net is down so I can't really read much more than this, and sorry of my message is written weird.

Silva

Lee J. P. wrote 967 days ago

Thank you Strachan. I've wrote mostly about being out of New Orleans and will be happy to look at your work... I wish you great success in your efforts.

Very assured and ,of course , New Orleans is a great setting for a novel , perhaps very underutilised, in fact ,when you think about it ,creative work with the city as background is quite limited which seems strange , I can only think of Clint Eastwood's 'Tightrope'. Are you a native of the city ? I enjoyed reading the first chapter of your book - I wonder if you would have the time to take a look at the first chapter of mine called 'A Buccaneer' and is set amongst Pirates in the 17th century , with best wishes , Strachan Gordon

strachan gordon wrote 968 days ago

Very assured and ,of course , New Orleans is a great setting for a novel , perhaps very underutilised, in fact ,when you think about it ,creative work with the city as background is quite limited which seems strange , I can only think of Clint Eastwood's 'Tightrope'. Are you a native of the city ? I enjoyed reading the first chapter of your book - I wonder if you would have the time to take a look at the first chapter of mine called 'A Buccaneer' and is set amongst Pirates in the 17th century , with best wishes , Strachan Gordon

Lee J. P. wrote 986 days ago

Thanks and I will continue to work on it!

183 slowly but surely...

Andrew David Doyle

andrew DOYLE wrote 986 days ago

183 slowly but surely...

Andrew David Doyle

andrew DOYLE wrote 987 days ago

65 bookshelves your getting there.....185 keep at it....

If you noiticed I have little or none of my books on shelves, sad, this may be but The Silent Apostle is doing well, and The Lost Monks of Avalon manuscript is flying around Hollywood screenplay dudes..but there is a cost.... strange how this unfolds.

Take care,

Lee J. P. wrote 1015 days ago

I think that you have some valid points and it'll take me a minute to process what you've written. I sincerely thank you for the thought and time that you put into this comment. I will look into the info that you left me and will check out your work as soon as I can. It may be next Monday as I'm going to be away from the computer this entire weekend. Again, a sincere thanks. Lee

I think your writing just needs a bit of tidying up and cutting down and not being so long winded at times.

And I might suggest to you, that in view of the start about faking medical diagnosis in order to cover up for broken down spies and what they did in the cold war that you check out, the Rosenhan Expt:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosenhan_experiment

This was entirely done without malice and showed you how psychiatrists would make mistakes and refuse to believe sane people that they were pretending, or really mentally ill that they judged sane as they thought they were malingering.

But it is a start to putting doubt in the average readers mind and then you gradually unveil to them that it has actually been done deliberately.

I would you suggest you re-write the book with this plot (discovering of "mistaken" diagnosis, then discovery on investigation of deliberate faking, and then discovering of reason why), as readers like a good detective novel, and also they sometimes dont believe the premise if you give it to them straight out, no matter how true it is.

(There is an old movie adage, "IT may be true but is it beleiveable" about how some real life stories, no matter how true, the audience just wont believe and switches off, due to prejudice or disbelief. Until someone actually appears in the paper, like the unfortunate woman kept for sixteen years.)

I have found out myself how difficult it is to get poeple to "buy into" the idea of the truth, even if you have documentary evidence stamped under oath in a court like I do, and I wondered if you would consider pandering to the reader's prejudices a bit so that they can connect ot your writing at the outset, then you can let them discover the idea of the govt hiding spies in mental hospitals with faked diagnosis, so no-one believes what the govt made them do.

What do you think of this idea.?

I think your writing just needs a bit of tidying up and cutting down and not being so long winded at times.

And I might suggest to you, that in view of the start about faking medical diagnosis in order to cover up for broken down spies and what they did in the cold war that you check out, the Rosenhan Expt:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosenhan_experiment

This was entirely done without malice and showed you how psychiatrists would make mistakes and refuse to believe sane people that they were pretending, or really mentally ill that they judged sane as they thought they were malingering.

But it is a start to putting doubt in the average readers mind and then you gradually unveil to them that it has actually been done deliberately.

I would you suggest you re-write the book with this plot (discovering of "mistaken" diagnosis, then discovery on investigation of deliberate faking, and then discovering of reason why), as readers like a good detective novel, and also they sometimes dont believe the premise if you give it to them straight out, no matter how true it is.

(There is an old movie adage, "IT may be true but is it beleiveable" about how some real life stories, no matter how true, the audience just wont believe and switches off, due to prejudice or disbelief. Until someone actually appears in the paper, like the unfortunate woman kept for sixteen years.)

I have found out myself how difficult it is to get poeple to "buy into" the idea of the truth, even if you have documentary evidence stamped under oath in a court like I do, and I wondered if you would consider pandering to the reader's prejudices a bit so that they can connect ot your writing at the outset, then you can let them discover the idea of the govt hiding spies in mental hospitals with faked diagnosis, so no-one believes what the govt made them do.

What do you think of this idea.?

Lee J. P. wrote 1021 days ago

Thanks Andrew and I will check out the cover art... Wishing you great success with your work. Let me know if I can help in any way. Lee

Hopefully this will fly upwards....well done .

Andrew David Doyle

andrew DOYLE wrote 1021 days ago

Have you seen the dust cover for The Silent Apostle...it really portrays the body of work.

andrew DOYLE wrote 1021 days ago

already had it on my shelf....oops only got one book shelf lol

andrew DOYLE wrote 1021 days ago

Hopefully this will fly upwards....well done .

Andrew David Doyle

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