Ollie's Ipod

I've completed the first chapter. I think this will be a very interesting read. The main character has some mystery about him, which leads the reader to know that anything is possible in chapters to come. Thanks for sharing your story. Enjoy your well deserved retirement! I'm backing you with sincere wishes of success. Marie - 'Mud Pies and Spirits' and 'Spirits Never Die'

This is a really good read. You put the reader fully in the picture so that they can think and feel as though it was happening to them. I have only had time to read the first chapter, but want to read more and hopefully will eventually get around to doing so. Backed with peasure.

Your pitch is simple but effective. Great descriptive writing and interesting imagery. You have a natural talent that I hope will just keep on creating these wonderful stories. Backed. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

It just shows that it's usually better to leave things alone. It was good that Ollie took it to the police station. I'm surprised the sergeant told him to take it home. Oh well, let the adventure begin. I'm glad you uploaded the complete text. I can come back and finish it when I get a little time. Backed for now.

written with easy to read language, making it a pleasure...on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

I enjoyed this story as well, though it needs more editing. You need to pay more attention to punctuation, as sometimes there are commas needed that are omitted, even full stops. I liked your character, and am happy to back this enjoyable tale. A few typos, which I'll put in a separate message. Well done, Marj.

The pitch is very good and the premise promises much - very clever, I thought - then the writing is - for me - far to slow. Not so much in narrative as in drammatic style. For example when the looker walks into the classroom, it's an impact moment, and deserves a paragraph on its own. Break up that paragraph and suddenly, the story picks up speed. The sentences are too long and convoluted in places, which means your twelve year old 's voice does not ring true. Hope this helps. The Tails of Willie Gusty.

The prose flows nicely and the characters are well-crafted. Backed.

A modern turn of phrase given to the Blyton themes and structure with the excellent updating you would expect from someone who writes as good as this.

BACKED

Dear Anne
Great writing and very well crafted, original storyline also
your characters seem to have taken up permanent residence in my head, and though I have quite enjoyed them , they do have to go home soon. Loved your writing, and the way you use words to paint such vivid scenes and also your characters. so animated, i do wish I had some of your talent for sure.

if you would find time to COMMENT and BACK my book I would be so happy, if not that is OK also
I wish you the VERY best of luck

Denise
The Letter

Dear Anne, Well, here I am to read & comment on your 2nd book. :) I love your delightful story of Brian & Ollie helping to catch the terrorist gang & I love happy endings. :) Your tight dialogue & paragraphs made for a great read. :) I love happy endings, too. :) I've backed your 2 books :) - could you please take a moment to back my memoir book? :) Thanks so very much. :) Love, Susie :)

Dear Anne

I am reading your writing now will comment later

Denise
The Letter

Dear Anne

I am reading your writing now will comment later

Denise
The Letter

:) comment to follow - read & comment on 3 hours later :)

OLLIE'S IPOD
Oh I enjoyed this! You've written some nice dialogue, with vivid pictures and good imagination where the boys are concerned - especially at school
You have a nice easy style of writing. Very simple to understand especially where you’re going with the story.

I am happy to back this as I think it will do well in the right market and targeted at the right audience. When you have a moment I would be really pleased if you could take a look at my own book; The Assassins Village. I am always pleased when people take the time to comment on my work (and of course delighted when they back it!!) Very good luck on here.
Faith
The Assassins’ Village