Your Will

Katherine,
I’ve read chapters eight through fifteen. I think this is really amazing how you can take a person’s walk with Jesus from the beginning and open up her thoughts and the changes in her so slowly. God’s revelations come to her and she listens, using God to help her change. By your story, I know you are close to Jesus and want others to know of his love and salvation also. The book gives so many ways we can be closer to Jesus and help others to know him.

The story begins to change when Katherine and her daughter begin to dream dreams, so in tune with the end times. Lauren is being filled with God’s wisdom. I love how God loves the youth!

When our walk becomes closer to God, we have a falling out with people as Lauren and Katherine were finding, yet, they found it is worth their loss with ‘fitting in with the world’ when Jesus fills it with so much more.

When they had the ‘egg in the budgie cage’ incident, this showed them God does make use of us in many different ways. And this is so true.

I think your story is very well written and in these chapters didn’t see anything I would change. What a beautiful story this is. Kara

Katherine,
I’m surprised I didn’t read your story sooner, but am so glad to be looking at it, as the writing is good. I read through your first seven chapters, taking it through Katherine and Lauren's experiences in learning about God through the radio and then accepting Christ and lastly learning from their convicted hearts. I am enjoying the plot and enjoy the emotional voice you carry through it. I like how your book describes what it feels like to be a new Christian and how a person’s heart blossoms from Christ living in them.

I saw only a few sentences you might consider changing.

Ch. 1
The film at Notre Dame though, had talked at the very end…
This sentence might be worded a bit differently. ‘I heard words at the end of the film at Notre Dame, which were easy to miss, because Lauren had fallen asleep on my lap…

‘They remembered that pigeon more than most of the famous sites in France.’ I would change the structure of this sentence to something like…
Out of all the famous sites in France, it was the pigeon they would remember most.
Ch. 2
…took her away from church when she (was) seventeen or so.
Ch. 4
In time, she came to know more about God, what He (wanted), and even things…

I am interested in seeing where this story goes, so will continue reading and comment again. Lovely story!

Kara
A Gate Called Beautiful

Katherine...You took me on a journey of faith. I can see the time and effort you've put into sharing this tale and commend you for sharing it. I hope others find the same smile in their heart as I have.
God bless..
Linda
Daniel Simmons Journey
and
Children Walking with Jesus

Katherine,

Love the opening. Because I love poetry. Need time to read more so will stick it on my watchlist.

Keith
Peppermint

i suppose if ever there was a need for end-times books. it is now. your writing style is easy to follow. just wondered why you didn't use caps in the title. and maybe, since your opening chapter is like a memoir, you could count it as a foreword or prelogue.
j
what every woman should know

Dear Katherine, I have read the first three chapters of your book, and I like the easy way you explain your growing understanding of the gospel. I like the thoughts expressed in your pitch, though I think it would benefit from being reworded a bit.

Your first chapter is basically a journal entry, and that is exactly what it sounds like. However, as the beginning of a book, I think you need to reword it to give it a stronger pace and make the pigeon story tighter, to attract more readers. Chapters 2 and 3 I enjoyed and I can see that your book would help many people who are searching for the truth, by telling your own story instead of preaching at them.

Kerrie Price
THE GOD PLEASERS 40 day Study Guide

Great Thoughts! You have some inspiring provoking dialogue of seeking the life and faith found in Jesus. Hope all goes well with your writing. Remember December Gold. I appreciate your support. God's blessings.

Hi Naomi. Thanks very much for your comments, you're right, of course and I've edited ch 12. It's a bit better for now as I work on other parts of vessels, but I'd appreciate your taking another look at it.
Shifting from my journal to vessels has been a transformation process in itself, and as God leads me, I am editing. I researched something from a dream the other night and en route came across something else that jumped out at me. "Make a sentence interesting. Don't just say "He carried his green bag." Isn't God amazing?
The Lord is leading me (and you to me) so thank you for your help.
God bless you,
Katherine
of vessels

Hi Katherine,

Thanks again for backing Whither Thou Goest. Sorry it’s taken me so long to get to Vessels. So behind!

Your pitch is fine, but I think you could punch it up a little. You’ve got some passive voice, your verbs are low key, and the sentence construction is pretty conversational. To change it up, consider using shorter sentences and conveying the story arc with short sentences and active verbs. Something like (and I haven’t read the story yet so I’m making this stuff up):

It started with a single decision. Katherine, along with her 11 year old daughter, gave her heart to Jesus. She stopped smoking. Committed to the truth. Refused to gossip. Katherine’s friends are concerned, and then offended . . .

Since most readers comment on the beginning, I like to go later in the book. I’m beginning with Chapter 12.

You are a talented writer with a knack for dialogue: “They forgot to put in a tongue…That’s hilarious.”

However, you do your work a disservice – setting readers aback – with punctuation and grammar mistakes, and the confusing organization. I’m not sure what you’re going for with the multiple fonts and colors, but I think it’s working to your disadvantage. The text actually appears less readable and “user friendly,” and I think editors won’t want to spend the additional money to print that way.

Your narrative has a lot of passive voice, which distances the reader and detracts from the story. Passive voice is when the subject of the sentence is the recipient of the action: The cats were chased by the dogs. The dogs in this sentence were the ones acting, but the cats are the subject. More powerful and immediate: The dogs chased the cats. You’ve got lots of passive voice: “dreams came,” “Lauren had not been exposed,” “It was fantastic that they could…”

I see a lot of “telling” instead of “showing.” Instead of telling us he did this, and then this, because he felt this and thought this, take us into the scene and let us go through it with him beat by beat. Trust the reader to get the point as he follows along with the Lauren and Katherine. If your dialogue, action and interior dialogue are effective, you don’t need to go on to explain the lesson they’re learning or what they’re feeling.

Thanks for sharing -- you have an important message to send and I wish you the very best of luck with this book.

Very powerful first chapter. I love the writing--it is very easy to follow, very engaging and I had a picture in my mind the whole time. Thanks!

Very touching. Very brave. Love it! We don't have enough books like yours. I backed it and am keeping it on my watchlist to read as my bookshelf is on overload right now. If you would return the kindness and peek at my book I would REALLY appreciate it since mine is I guess a Christian paranormal thriller? I have had mixed feelings about the writing of it and what is acceptable and what is human nature. I'm not sure what gnere to call it. Maybe you could help me! Good luck to you! Thanks.
kendra ann ziems / autumn lullaby

Katherine,
AMEN!
Rebecca "Someone Else's Diary"

Katherine, I was finally able to find your book. I am still trying to get mine edited and uploaded (with your kind suggestions) and was only able to read a few chapters. But, being a minister, I find your work compelling. Not many people are able to put their inner feelings out there, especially when it comes to their faith. I commend you and WILL come back and finish it! We ARE in the last days and our Lord is calling up all those that are willing to work in the fields. You have my recomendation! God Speed! David Turner

Thank you Judith. Yes, there are some really inspired and beautiful Christian works on this site; more as each day passes and the Lord Jesus' coming approaches.
God bless you,
Katherine of vessels

Dear Katherine,

I'm glad that you used your writing talents to help bring readers closer to God. There were a few discussions on the forum calling for Christian works. Great job! Starred and on my watchlist.

-Judith B. Shields

Dear Katherine,

I'm glad that you used your writing talents to help bring readers closer to God. There were a few discussions on the forum calling for Christian works. Great job! Starred and on my watchlist.

-Judith B. Shields

Dear Katherine,
I just read your first chapter, and it has drawn me into your story. This is my kind of genre, as my book is all about faith, hope, and the Divine blessings of God. I have to go to work and can't read more right now, but it's on my WL, and it'll be on my shelf as soon as i can put it there. :)
God bless.
Maria x

God bless you too Maria.

Dear Katherine,
I just read your first chapter, and it has drawn me into your story. This is my kind of genre, as my book is all about faith, hope, and the Divine blessings of God. I have to go to work and can't read more right now, but it's on my WL, and it'll be on my shelf as soon as i can put it there. :)
God bless.
Maria x

What a wonderful story. Beautifully told.
Sharon Van Orman

God bless you Tom. vessels continues now in volume 2 with new teachings from God. I'm pleased to witness, just as you are. "Wake Up! Wake Up!" is apt -- lately I find myself wanting to yell it out to people; time is running out, and people are asleep to the truth.
Katherine
of vessels

Such reads are always of interest. I am a committed Christian, but have never experienced the transformative moments I've heard or read from others, from visions, actual visits to heaven and hell, and more. My rebirth came progressively, along a path that was always backed by God, but never realized by me. I wrote about it in a book (Wake Up! Wake Up! The Testimony of a Layman - avail on Amazaon and other book sellers). I relish the opportunity to see therough the eyes of others that which I believe. This is a fine addition to the library of Christian literature. I will read more.
Tom Balderston
The Wonder of Terra

Bless you, if vessels matches your descriptives
it will glorify God. Please read more of it if you can.
Katherine
of vessels

This is an exceptional story with a vital message. Pleasingly visual. Vivid characters. Crisp dialogue. Capitvating pacing. Well tthought out, intriguing storyline. Spellbinding writing. An inspirational read. Backed.

This is an exceptional story with a vital message. Pleasingly visual. Vivid characters. Crisp dialogue. Capitvating pacing. Well tthought out, intriguing storyline. Spellbinding writing. An inspirational read. Backed.

Great premise. This is a lovely story with a wonderful message. We need more like this one. Delighted to back it. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Thanks for backing vessels Beth Anne -- I've room on my
shelf for Denver Down and wondered if, in the midst of
all this--if we might exchange a swap read, or skim...

Katherine
of vessels

Backed as well written and interesting story Beth Anne Good luck to you

God bless you Erwin--your story is one I have witnessed in my own clients as
they came to Christ and experienced God's transforming power in their lives.
The writing style in vessels reflects the journey (from the Mother's perspective)
back to the righteousness God created her in--and toward the end, indeed, even
the font style matches
that of the 11 year old daughter's 'voice' at the beginning of the book -- this was not
intentional; but I marvelled at the Holy Spirit when I noticed it later.
Let's pray for all the people who are addicted to sin in its various
forms--that they be turned toward our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Amen.
Katherine
of vessels

I love how you use the bird as an instrument to enlighten to the main character how tenderly God wants her to handle her relationship with Him and others. This is wonderful. I will continue reading and adding your book to my watch list. The writing style is very interesting as well.

I love how you use the bird as an instrument to enlighten to the main character how tenderly God wants her to handle her relationship with Him and others. This is wonderful. I will continue reading and adding your book to my watch list. The writing style is very interesting as well.

Your story of the duck family was sad--it was kind of you to bury the duck -- some shrug the thought of such things because we think 'someone else will take care of it' -- it's a hard hearted world Kate-- God is softening hearts because HE IS that kind of tender love. It was nice also to hear you'd said My Sweet Lord twice already -- it would be wonderful for me to have you actually read vessels. You may not have time, but if you can squeeze in a chapter now and again, I'm curious to see what would happen, because I know you love 'processes' -- too -- and to be that way, we see the small detail, God bless you,
Katherine
of vessels when you

Katherine
This is very readable and accessible, you write from the heart with a deceptive simplicity and your story is always rooted in the here and now, so that present generations will relate to it. I was very touched by the pigeon story (three of my family saw a duck being run over earlier this year) and the person who did it just drove straight through a family of ducks crossing the road without a backward glance. It was heart-breaking and she did just what your pigeon did. So when I read yours it brought it all back. We moved her to the side of the road (she would have had chicks too), went home for lunch and then returned to bury her in my mum's garden.
Oh, and that's the second mention of My Sweet Lord today :)
Backed
XX

Backed as well written and interesting story Beth Anne Good luck to you

I should have mentioned you're in chapter 16.
God bless you,
Katherine
of vessels

Wow. After looking over 5 chapters of this, my only thought is that you need some serious help. You need to get to the basics - going to the scriptures as the source, and stop viewing things as if you are the chosen one. Think of Josiah, who after finding the Torah in the temple, read it carefully and applied it to him and his nation (2 kings 23-25)

I don't mean this as an insult but as a constructive criticism.

thanks Andrew, you're so kind. Have you said,
I'm a sinner,I ask forgiveness, I ask Jesus to come into my heart?
Do you want to?

Katherine
vessels

An important text covering important themes with a professional and polished finish

BACKED

It's nice to hear from others who
are also being guided,
All the glory to our Lord and King Jesus.

Katherine
vessels

HI KATHERINE ' VESSELS'

Amazing and original true storyas written in journal form as God guides you on your way as in fact he guides all of us. loved the story about the pidgeon in Paris.
and like the comment from Jesus in a later chapter ' don't be anxious'
it's very; good and a compelling read
TOM BYE ' FROM HUGS TO KISSES'
PLEASE read mine if time and back if you like it thanks

Thanks for your wee spot Frank
and God bless you,

Katherine
of vessels

To Katherine Kubica (Vessels)
When I had read just a paragraph or two I reckoned this was not for me, but the more I read the more I liked. This is heavy stuff for your average Joe to soak up. It is very well written and I believe this book will have enormous appeal to other authors and the reading public and for that reason I am BACKING it and have a wee spot on my bookshelf for it.
Frank James (The Contractor)

Thank you for your comment. Please read chapter 16.
God bless you,

Katherine
of vessels

Wow. After looking over 5 chapters of this, my only thought is that you need some serious help. You need to get to the basics - going to the scriptures as the source, and stop viewing things as if you are the chosen one. Think of Josiah, who after finding the Torah in the temple, read it carefully and applied it to him and his nation (2 kings 23-25)

I don't mean this as an insult but as a constructive criticism.

To Katherine Kubica (Vessels)
When I had read just a paragraph or two I reckoned this was not for me, but the more I read the more I liked. This is heavy stuff for your average Joe to soak up. It is very well written and I believe this book will have enormous appeal to other authors and the reading public and for that reason I am BACKING it and have a wee spot on my bookshelf for it.
Frank James (The Contractor)

Wow. After looking over 5 chapters of this, my only thought is that you need some serious help. You need to get to the basics - going to the scriptures as the source, and stop viewing things as if you are the chosen one. Think of Josiah, who after finding the Torah in the temple, read it carefully and applied it to him and his nation (2 kings 23-25)

I don't mean this as an insult but as a constructive criticism.

This is a risky attempt, but it works!

Lockjaw

HI KATHERINE ' VESSELS'

Amazing and original true storyas written in journal form as God guides you on your way as in fact he guides all of us. loved the story about the pidgeon in Paris.
and like the comment from Jesus in a later chapter ' don't be anxious'
it's very; good and a compelling read
TOM BYE ' FROM HUGS TO KISSES'
PLEASE read mine if time and back if you like it thanks

I couldn't believe this was a true story as I stared reading it. I like that you use the journal entries, it gives the reader an intimacy of sorts with what is happening. I think regardless of anyone's faith or beliefs they would have a hard time denying if these things happened to them. And regardless, it makes the reader think and wonder about what is happening. I think you've got something here that will touch many and make them take note of what is happening in the world around them. I may not hold your belief but I can recognize something that others will benefit from!

Missy
Mark of Eternity

This looks very interesting. Let me know if you're interested in swapping reads.

D. K. Willis
THE THIEF ON THE CROSS

An important text covering important themes with a professional and polished finish

BACKED

Katherine,
Vessels is an amazing and original work which is a tremendous source of inspiration. Backed with pleasure.

Hi Kathrine, very good pitch. I have backed it and will take a closer look. Please look at you turn if you get the time, god bless, Lynne

Katherine, this is indeed a journal, but it's also full of dramatic moments - at home, in the car, garage, streets of Paris, shops or open air. No preaching. All so natural that the message comes easily. like one's own experiences.
Backed with high regard for your faith, your honesty and your writing skills.
David Grant
"Pompey Chimes".

Katherine,

You have wtitten a profoundly powerful story.


Best to you. Great book.

You true story is very interesting and unique, which I do like, and you bring out the characters of Katherine and Lauren extremely well. Your Christian beliefs and spirituality clearly shine through. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows nicely. All of this along with your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

This is a nice story. Did you mean to leave the title uncapitalized? It would strengthen the long pitch if you broke it into paragraphs...
j

Thought provoking and well written. Backed!

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

Katherine,

To be honest this isn't my thing. However, it's well written.

I can relate to the experience of a parent who's kid has sat an exam and not got the result they wanted, and you capture it well.

Couple of minor nitpicking obsevations:

--your first line of dialogue is preceeded by an em-dash, if this is meant to show hesitation an elipse would be more conventional; and

--the next paragraph was a little hard to follow, I think because you use double quotation marks both for the direct dialogue and the quoted dialogue, some missing commas too, I think it should be punctuated something like:

"Sarah, of course, was the first to run right up to me when I went into the classrom and said, 'Did you get into the challenge program?' She said this with a fake, whiny kind of voice and screwed up her face," Lauren said, imitating Sarah.

Otherwise it reads well.

Backed

Although this is not my genre, it is well written and the reader can feel the "internal tugs of war" that exist in the main characters - as it must with anyone who has faith. "Doubting Thomas" is a historical example of the same. Your own faith clearly comes through in this work. Backed with pleasure. Colin

Backed Vessels. God has truly blessed you with the gift of writing. This is powerful stuff. Happily backing your book!
CC Brown
Dark Side