Book Jacket

 

rank 5909
word count 22300
date submitted 23.09.2010
date updated 26.09.2010
genres: Fiction, Fantasy, Children's
classification: universal
incomplete

Adventures in Dreams

Simon Carroll

Ruaridh Young gets bullied but his life changes overnight after a nightmare. When he wakes up he discovers his dreams can be real adventures.

 

Adventures in Dreams is a children's fantasy adventure for 9-12 year olds.
Ruaridh Young's life is turned upside down after a nightmare one night about the boy who has been bullying him. When he wakes up he discovers the skinned elbows from the nightmare have actually happened. With the help of his two friends they start to uncover more elements of the nightmare that have come true. Ruaridh goes on to discover that there are other people who have this ability, some good and some bad and embarks on an adventure where everything in his dreams feels like real life. To defeat the evil Phobetor Ruaridh must learn how to use his new found abilities quickly and, bringing his friends along for the ride, adventure through combat zones, space battles and medieval sword fights.
I have uploaded the first 4 chapters but have finished the book i am still checking over the ending though so will wait before uploading the rest.

 
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tags

, adventure, children's fantasy, science fiction

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20 comments

 

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Jim Darcy wrote 1235 days ago

Hello, I am writing to you as someone who has been kind enough to support the Firelord’s Crown in the recent past. Now I need your help once more. I have been on site for nearly 2 years and worked my way up through reading and commenting on books. I have always been uncomfortable with ‘spamming’ and tit-for-tat backings but I do feel able to ask if you could please support Firelord by shelving it for a while over the next month. Under the new system I cannot offer you anything but an immediate * star rating and the promise of whatever support you feel you need; a second reading or comment etc. if you do not feel able to put Firelord back on your shelf, please could you still *rate it for me?
Many, many thanks!
Regards,
Jim Darcy
The Firelord’s Crown

missyfleming_22 wrote 1296 days ago

Simon, this is a fun story! I think your target age group will eat this up! You really capture our imaginations, even us adults. You've got a nice, fluid writing style that is easy to read and follow. My only suggestion would be to shorten up some of the longer paragraphs. It'll help move the story along even better and be a little easier to read for the young 'uns. Otherwise, a really great book so far!

Missy
Mark of Eternity

missyfleming_22 wrote 1296 days ago

Simon, this is a fun story! I think your target age group will eat this up! You really capture our imaginations, even us adults. You've got a nice, fluid writing style that is easy to read and follow. My only suggestion would be to shorten up some of the longer paragraphs. It'll help move the story along even better and be a little easier to read for the young 'uns. Otherwise, a really great book so far!

Missy
Mark of Eternity

Elijah Enyereibe Iwuji wrote 1298 days ago

Drea Simon,

You have written an intelligent, interesting and fascinating story. There's a great mastery in your descriptions and dialogue. Its gripping and grabbing, a page turner. This is actually my cup of tea, for I have a new book, 'The Diary of Dreams'. Skill and talent are combined for this masterpiece. Your word usage and plot is fabulous and captivating. Backed. Goodluck.

Elijah E. Yamslaw (Victims of African Wealth)

Walden Carrington wrote 1299 days ago

Simon,
Adventures in Dreams is a fabulously creative and captivating work of fantasy which is sure to delight young readers of this genre. Backed with pleasure.

lizjrnm wrote 1300 days ago

This is a wonderful book for kids! Talented writing and an imaginative storyline make this easy to back.

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

Elizabeth Wolfe wrote 1300 days ago

Dear Simon,
Your opening chapter is charming. Exactly what older children and younger teens might want to read. You have a well developed sense of dialog. Nice job!

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

Dagura van Acra wrote 1301 days ago

I believe you mean 'ten year old boy's life' and not 'ten year old boys life'.
A good read, especially for children, but please do something to the really long paragraphs you've written. Lengthy books tend to scare young children (I speak from experience).
A few more commas would not go amiss, but this does have a lot of potential.

Dagura
'Rising Seas'

Barry Wenlock wrote 1301 days ago

Hi Simon, I taught primary aged kids for years and thought the age pitch 9-12 is about right. Year 5 and 6 in UK schools. I'm sure children will really enjoy this -- well, I certainly did and I'm looking forward to more.
Backed.
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Vanessa Darnleigh wrote 1301 days ago

A simple story that should grab your young readers' attention and hold it. I like the way you weave in and out of the narrative, appealing to the 'listener's' own feelings and experiences of life. There are a number of inconsistencies in punctuation and grammar etc which a thorugh edit would quickly sort out.
Best wishes
Stewart

name falied moderation wrote 1301 days ago

Dear Simon


Talent and skill have been shown with this book for sure. I have to wonder on this site at the creations that come from peoples heads and of course the immense talent of those like yourself to animate such colorful characters. I truly wish I had half your talent. I loved your short and long pitch both really sell your book which they are meant too so CONGRATS, and love the way you write. Your ability with words to craft an orginal read is amazing. the characters have decided to take up permanent residence but i will insist they leave soom to go home. ha!

Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK
also
The VERY best of luck to you
BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
Denise
The Letter

Andrew Burans wrote 1302 days ago

You have written a very interesting and unique storyline, which I do like, and created a most memorable main character in Ruaridh. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing ensures that your fantasy will appeal to the childrens audience. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Jedda wrote 1302 days ago

I am all in favour of a book which helps a child to deal with bullying. As other people have suggested you need to edit your chapters and break up the script into paragraphs. Also when you write i it should be I unless it is in the middle of a word.You have used the apostophe to show possession and then forget every now and again. I wish you all the best. Backed, Regards, Anne

SusieGulick wrote 1302 days ago

Dear Simon, I love your young hero's dream & adventures to where he's able to stand against the bullies in his life & has friends to help him. :) That's actually what life's all about. :) I can hardly wait to see how your story ends. :) Your pitch was concise in telling me my adventure & your tight paragraphs & dialogue move your story right along. :) I have backed your book :) - could you please take a moment to back my memoirs book? :) Thanks so very much. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

SusieGulick wrote 1302 days ago

:) comment to follow - read & commented on 1 hour later :)

KW wrote 1302 days ago

This is a cute fantasy for children that involves something akin to astral projection. I like the way you try to teach new vocabulary to the young reader. For example, "theory; which means they do lots of research and then guess what it means because they can't prove it anyway." "Nightmare mum." "You have blood all over your arms." That's hard-core of vivid dreaming, eh? I'm enjoying this so far. Please be a little more careful with your punctuation, though. You have too many sentences that either end with commas or no punctuation at all. Also, you have 'I' written too often 'i' and a few other minor problems that a careful proofreading would eliminate. Apart from that, your writing is a nice blend of description and dialogue. Backed for now.

ickle si wrote 1302 days ago

This has real potential for the targeted age group and it would certainly encourage them to read. There are some mistakes to iron out, In the pitch you repeat 'Nighmare' for Nightmare twice. "Discovers the 'skint' elbows" do you mean 'Skinned' elbows? Skint means short of money. Go through slowly correcting minor points like this and the book will be ideal for its age group, well done. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)


Thank you very much for your positive comment. I have changed skint for skinned, i live near Edniburgh and skint elbow also means skinned elbow, a slang term, so you are right i needed to change it so it is understood everywhere. I have a daughter who is ten and i wanted to target her age group, thank you again for you encouragment.

fh wrote 1302 days ago

ADVENTURE IN DEAMS
For the right market and age group this could do well. However, you really need to spend some time on your grammar, spelling and put in some paragraphs! One solid block of writing makes it hard to read. Saying that, for the right age group - they will enjoy this. Adventure, bullies getting their comeuppance for just starters.
Good luck
Faith
THE ASSASSINS VILLAGE

PATRICK BARRETT wrote 1302 days ago

This has real potential for the targeted age group and it would certainly encourage them to read. There are some mistakes to iron out, In the pitch you repeat 'Nighmare' for Nightmare twice. "Discovers the 'skint' elbows" do you mean 'Skinned' elbows? Skint means short of money. Go through slowly correcting minor points like this and the book will be ideal for its age group, well done. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Despinas1 wrote 1302 days ago

Dear Simon
Adventures in Dreams is amazing work...... A synopsis so powerful I would pay to buy this from a bookstore from it alone.
Backing it with pleasure and will return with further comments once I have read further.
Sincerely
Helen
The Last Dream

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