Bad Bishop

Bravo! This work is both highly literate and quite entertaining. The research is impeccable - the history, literature, and languages that enliven the narrative are correctly yet interestingly deployed. Where the estimable Harriet Goodchild sees echoes of Eco I find Italo Calvino - especially his "If on a Winter's Night a Traveller..." - and Borges. But, like her, I confess baldfaced surprise that a subgenre so thoroughly encumbered with subpar schlock is here very well represented. The characters are very real, the pacing superb, and the diction inviting. Other than the occasional punctuational errors (especially the failure to use semicolons before independent clauses) and malapropisms ("loaned" instead of "lent" in chapter 2 was quite jarring in the midst of such fine writing), this is a book to savor. I will back this just as soon as some current inmate of my bookshelf is released on its own recognizance.

--James David Audlin
"Rats Live on no Evil Star", etc.

Oh I did enjoy this. And that's five words I never thought I'd write about a vampire novel! Just shows how stupid any prejudice is!

This is a clever, complicated, compelling read. With writing, the devil (or god if you prefer) is in the detail and the details here are wonderful. What's more they are kept in their proper places, servants not masters of the story - you've clearly done an immense amount of research for this but at no point do you whack me over the head with it. I can relax into your writing and let this gorgeous, complicated story unwind over the evening. The writing is what makes it, sometimes subtle, sometimes sumptuous, a patterning of colours and characters. And the books: books within books, a homage no doubt to Eco, and to the seductive qualities of fine ideas set down in fine prose. That is what is left in my mind the day after the end of reading - the desire of a reader for a book, to hold and to devour.

I'm raving. I'll stop. But please, post more!

Best wishes, Harriet

Recommended to me by Beval, and she's got it spot on for my taste. I read 4 chapters at random, and consider this to be head and shoulders above 80 % of the works on this site. Literate, leisurely, even graceful, with the lightest touches of humour. Am not a fan of the vampire novel in general but this is so very different. Also a period of history less often touched on in fiction. BACKED without hesitation.

Bad Bishop - This is an intelligent, well written work and the story has an hypnotic quality much like the characters moving in it, who are well drawn with an economy of words. The Vampire Chronicles - eat your heart out - Anna Rice has just lost her crown.

Child - Atramentus Speaks

I just want to say how excellent this piece of historical fiction is. The prologue captures the reader's attention immediately as it allows the plot to unfold through this mysterious assasination. Historical elements spring out from every page and help the reader aqcuire a good feel of the life in those times. The style of writing fits perfectly the period, which is something you don't get in a great deal of already published books. It appears to me that Amarante will prove to be the character through which the reader can further get into the book and as such she is becoming my favourite. The fantasy element, at least so far and concerning vampires, is tonned down, which for me at least is great because you tend to forget about it and focus more on the plot and the elements of human nature that are universal. Congradulations for proving that a vampire story can be written cleverly and with respect to the reader, while avoiding cliches (as Cariad indicated). Long research, at least in my eyes, is more rewarding and more effective than long chats with imaginary friends that some published writers seem to have. I look forward to reading some more.
Best regards
Magus

Now this is what the literary critics would call a book. Wow. So clever and although someone had already mentioned it, outstanding amount of research well before you started writing. Not my genre, not my style as I like really simple Lay-mans terms prose, but I have to say very very good writing. I dont think I have to be wishing you luck neither as this is going to be doing very well without my well wishes. Loved it.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you?? Many thanks. Sean

Not my usual genre, but I was drawn in, hook, line and sinker. That says it all. Brilliant!
Andrea
The de Amerley Affair

I read to 6, very taken with Amarante.myou have just the right balance between text and dialogue for the prose to run smoothly and keeping interest. It was easy to be drawn into 12 th century Spain. You have done a good job. However, I balk at three quotes to begin. They add little to your tale. Backed.
Lara
A Relative Invasion

If this book was edited and the prose condensed, it would read better.
The storyline however is terriffic and story is what counts!

I had many complaints about the book as I read yet, I continued to read. I found I wasn't skipping any paragraphs as I usually do or skipping over chapters. It held my attention and while it was not exciting, or tense I kept turning the page. Perhaps you learned some magic from those old parchments and scrolls in that library!

There are some errors with grammar. The sentence that includes "father's, mother's and husband's" is grammatically incorrect. You only need to show the possessive on the last word - so it would be "father, mother, and husband's." Punctuation marks go inside of quotation marks. The words are repetitive, which would be helped by some editing.

What a surprise that this is a vampire story. And to that point you should work on your pitch. It does nothing to draw the reader in or have him understand what the story is about. You can do that without giving away that it's a vampire tale. You don't want people to miss out on the story by passing it by.

Still haven't the faintest idea what the first scene is about unless vampires' heads have to be severed.

Even though I found it repetitive, with grammatical problems I am going to give this six stars. Something I wouldn't do with those problems. But it is true that your excessive descriptions and long narrative, which are problematic to me, do have a purpose.

Bravo! Great job.

Abby

This is a beautifully written very intelligent book. The research behind the work seems so thorough and yet we are not stumbling over unnecessary period detail. The initial gory murder scene is well described. After such a hook I had to read on.This is not a light airplane read but a book to enjoy slowly curled up in an arm chair. I needed to pay attention as the material is quite erudite, which surprised me compared to the simple title. How refreshing to come across a vampire novel with such attention to historical detail. Perhaps some of the paragraphs appear a little too long and daunting for some? Otherwise I have nothing but praise for this excellent read.

Bad Bishop was recommended to me, and I in turn recommend Bad Bishop to all who want to become completely lost in a book of extraordinary excellence. The in-depth research blends effortlessly into this historical mystery, but never overpowers the story. My regret is that I must read it on a computer, rather than curled up in chair. Backed and 6 stars.
Rosalind Barden
American Witch

BAD BISHOP
I like this kind of story which takes a reader back to a more simpler time. Your descriptions of settings and characters’ clothing are excellent. It’s obvious you’ve done a lot of research in order to be able to write this. I’m adding it to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President.

I’ve been meaning to read your work ever since I saw someone (TB, perhaps?) extolling its virtue in the forums. I have not been disappointed. You write beautifully, with great confidence and skill, and you have clearly done a great deal of scholarly research.

Your opening passages offer a writer’s lesson on beginning with some action and then providing appropriate background information. The narration you offer about Aramante offers tantalizing clues about the title and has me wondering what her story has to do with the earlier scene. You write in a language that seems at once modern yet appropriate to the time.

When I read other works, I find myself wondering if the details will matter later on. As I read your writing, I felt certain that each and every detail, Aramante’s abilities with language, Kyrus’s origins, Atreus’s ability to read the one language Aramante could not, all would be vital to the complete understanding of the novel.

I don’t have your many gifts, but I do have an eye for random typos. You have ‘farther’ where you want ‘father.’

I read two chapters and will surely stop by to read more. With any luck that will be well before this remarkable work is published.

~AudreyB
Forgiveness Fits

this has the taste of a real epic. your writing style is natural, and easy to follow, unlike some books of this nature...very well done...
on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

Dark and smouldering, I thoroughly enjoy your writing - a well polished work.

Cyrus

Very enjoyable, I would be very surprised if this work did not reach the Editor's desk - I will have no hesitation in recommending this book to my Authonomy friends. Thank you and good luck.

Cyrus

Beautifully crafted, intelligent and clearly a subject of which you know much. This is my kind of book and although I have only just dipped into it, I will continue to read. This is an era I really enjoy reading about and therefore was hooked straight away.

Some quite long sentences in places but this does not detract from the pace.
Minor point - Fez is South of Toledo.

Great stuff!

regards

Cyrus

Hello , a fascinating and very interesting milieu - Moorish Spain - very little mentioned in world literature , but a very good choice , I think. I can see your kinship to Umberto Eco . Watchlisted and starred . Would you be able to look at the first chapter of my novel ' A Buccaneer' , which is set amongst Pirates in the 17th century , with best wishes from Strachan Gordon

Hello I . Soldatos -
book-- Bad Bishop--

read the first four chapters this morning and scan read some more deeper down.

It was a comment made to you by K Gleeson that caught my eye, and feel if he says a book is good,
it's good--so. I,m in for the read.

you have a very eye catching cover here and it's well ranked and will progress further; that's for sure.

I found the names of the characters to be most suited and researched well, or if it's totally fantasy on your
part, that's brilliant.

the story flows along in a wonderful literary style, and certainly captures to atmosphere of the time.

It's the sort of read that one could sit beside a crackling fire in winter and savour.

i give it my six stars with pleasure and wish you luck with it-

tom bye-
'from hugs to kisses'
oblige please and glance at mine and comment and star or back if you like it, thanks

Prodigious levels of research and a strong storyline are always a recommendation. The writing is sharp; a well conceived and cleverly plotted novel. Excellent. You even made me forget my aversion to the subject of vampires and fantasy themes as their presence here is merely as part of a greater piece of work and the story is strong enough to retain the reader's attention even in areas where they may have had doubts. Strongly recommended for historical accuracy, vibrant characterisation and writing that suits both the genre and the period in which the story evolves. Backed with admiration.
Jake

Oh wow! This is an amazing start to a book and incredibly gripping. Love the historical detail in it :) Can't wait to read more!

Not my usual genre but recommended by 'mickeyblueeyes' and I'm hooked. This is wonderfully written with a great sense of place. I am completely taken with the story and will definitely read all you have uploaded here - my only concern is, I may never learn the outcome... unless you have the full and .... :D

Let me know if it ever gets published.

Jess

I've read the first few chapters and found this extremely well written and deeply engaging, especially for someone who enjoys historical fiction of this time period. With vivid descriptions you create a real sense of the time period and paint a wonderful character in Amarante. As a historican of women's history I do enjoy strong female characters that show there were some educated women in that time period. I love that she is fluent in so many languages.

The care and and approach you take in the work though strays into the literary quite often and has undertones of Umberto Eco. I wonder if you intend it for the literary market or mainstream. The pitch gives nothing away and agents would probably have you scrap it entirely for today's market. I understand that there is vampirism to come and I can only imagine from the manner in which you write that it will be handled differently from the plethora of poorly written vampire novels that dominate the YA market. One element that you might consider if you want to pitch this to a more mainstream market and not the literary market is to perhaps start with chapter 2 and then weave the backstory that is all chapter 1 into the story, rather than to begin with no real action for a whole chapter. Most agents and publishers like the plot to move along from the first.

That aside I found your writing very pollished in the two chapters and in the prologue. There was only one sentence that you might consider reworking slightly, if only that it sticks out from what is otherwise highly polished. In the prologue you write "It had been necessary it be done and so he had done it," which appears somewhat awkward and might work a bit better to be worded something like "he'd done what was necessary."
An enjoyable read. Kristin

To be completely honest - and there's little point in being anything else hereabouts - if I'd known that this was a novel about vampires when I looked at the pitch, I wouldn't have touched it with a bargepole. Not my thing at all, you see. But you sneakily drew us all in by not mentioning that in your pitch. (I know it's one of your tags, but I'm new to this, and didn't actually look at that first off.) So on I went. Of course, it took only a couple of chapters for me to cotton on, and by then I was sufficiently impressed by aspects of your writing to push on. Then I had another minor crisis when I discovered that the book was longer than War and Peace: well, not quite, but it's a long time to spend with a vampire against one's will.

So what do I think?

First - you can write.
Second - you can probably write even better...if...

Do all vampire books have sentences in Latin - and Greek - with no translation? I published an academic, non-fiction book once, and left some Latin and Greek untranslated. Result? I was accused of pedantry (???!) and pretentiousness. Just a thought.

Too much detail in early descriptions of characters for my taste: and if the reader needs a dictionary to get through a paragraph, (all those bits of dress!) he's likely to maintain a residual resentment against the author. Not that I will, of course.

But...for a chap with little interest in vampires (Sherlock Holmes's adventure with one is his least successful story in my view) I found myself reading on...and on.

I play chess, and I've been known to win on occasion. But without a board in front of me I couldn't follow the progress of the first game - and since we didn't know the position of the pieces when that started, neither I imagine could anyone else. And the second game - well, my question is, what, if anything, did it do to prosecute the story?

But to end on a positive note: I think your opening is terrific, and if you then somehow started the main narrative with chapter three, even a reluctant reader such as myself would be hooked.

As it is, I'll read on. Somewhere in there, there's an interesting writer fighting to get out: and, for all I know, a first-class story-teller.
All the same, remember the one-word writer's poem : Edit.

This book opens with a masterly, even scholarly set of chapters which draw in any reader willing to pay attention. It was just my kind of book, full of plausible historical detail and vivid characterisation - until the house of cards collapsed for me at the introduction of vampirism. I missed the tag, but it was a huge disappointment to me as I feel it will tell against your chances of publication. I know vampirism is popular in some circles, mainly young adult, but that range of readers is small. Time slip and even longevity in the 'Flying Dutchman' style I could have accepted by suspension of disbelief, but I feel you are trying to ride too many horses at the same time. As sit is, I shall star well for the quality of the writing, but I shall not shelve the Bad Bishop. (Great title - but again, slightly misleading.)

I did dip into later chapters and the ending, and realised that although you open with Amarante as your main character, building her into a strong and significant role, she has disappeared by the end, and even Kyrus, your second possible main character seems to have been relegated to a more minor role. This distorts the balance of the book, because a reader wants to root for one character throughout, even if s/he may not necessarily approve of all the character does or represents. Within chapters, though, the structure is well shaped, and you can certainly keep the hooks coming while provoking thoughtfulness in your reader's mind.

There is a huge amount that is positive in this book, but I have qualms about its ability to reach print because of your chosen clash and multiplicity of genres. You can write beautifully and effectively, and I would be interested to read other works you have created.

Margaret Woodward : Kilbaddy

T

- Bad Bishop -

(Based on chapters 1-4)

Four chapters in, this is some very tightly wrought, atmospheric and classy historical fiction, full of learning to boot. And it’s nice to revisit a time when vampires weren’t teenagers.

The very start is definitely a hook and draws the reader right into the story with a bit of blood and intrigue. And then we switch to what very much feels like a prologue in the old style of historical fiction, the oldest style even. The start actually reminded me of the beginning of the very first historical novel, Walter Scott’s Waverley, in that the background of the main character is ‘told’ rather than ‘shown’ and done so in what was for me an effective way. I definitely had the sense that I was getting background before I got to the real nitty gritty of the story but the prose is so smooth and elegant that I had every confidence that the author knew what they were doing. And this certainly proved to be the case.

Two typos in the first chapter:
-“But he is to come upstairs until I say so.” Missing “not”.
-“It was clear to Aramante that her farther…”. “father”

The second chapter is where we really get into the story, with Aramante fully formed and her two guests bringing mystery and learning into the story. I’m a sucker for anything to do with languages so the discussion of Latin, Greek, Arabic etc. had me on the hook throughout. The only point I would raise as a query is whether it would perhaps be better to transliterate the Greek rather than have it in the original script. That way the reader, at least the non-Greek speaking reader, can get a fel for the sound of the words and a better feel for the significance of the language in the scene. As it is, they may be a bit shut out by an alien script, perhaps even jarred out of the story a little by it. Just a thought….

Chapter three is very atmospheric. The chess game and the dialogue there are very good. Also there should be some prize for use of the phrase, “a waining gibbous moon”. I had a couple of thoughts while reading that are more questions/observations than crits. I’m not sure about them myself so they should be taken with a pinch of salt:
-The relationship between Aramante and Kyrus, and why she is so at ease with him. I wasn’t sure whether she was under some kind of vampire thrall. If she was, I didn’t really have that clear to me. If not, I wonder a little at her reaction to him.
-Aramante’s asking about Kyrus’ need to drink blood, stay out of the sun etc. Again, just an observation, but I wondered whether this was necessary or at least whether it could/should have been shortened, those aspects of vampire mythology being fairly common knowledge…but then it wouldn’t have been in Aramante’s time…but historical fiction also reflects attitudes/knowledge of the time in which it is written….. Ok, I’m clearly rambling and flip-flopping now. Take my thought process here for what it is – unstructured thinking out loud from a writing novice.

Chapter 4 very much has the sense of ‘Ok, so soon things are really about to get going. The story, the writing, the learning, the intrigue – in short, everything which shines through this – are all on display here. Again, I did wonder a little at Aramante’s reaction to Kyrus, her reaction to him, particularly when she saw him drinking blood. But perhaps this is just me missing something.

I hope there was at least something semi useful/interesting in amongst all my incoherent babbling. Probably not, but I live in hope.

I seem to have been reading a lot of very tight, polished and classy manuscripts of late and this is certainly no exception.

All the best with it,

Ross

A dark, murderous opening, and a hint at an exotic villain - excellent hooks for a historical drama. The epigrams and the languages make for a heady, erudite reading. The story of Amarante in the first chapter proper is much more about "tell" than "show", but if handled well I never see this as too much of a problem. Fine stuff

P

Bad Bishop
The short pitch bothered me just a little bit. Maybe it needs a hint about the main character…
The long pitch, I presume a quote from inside, is exquisite.
Why three aphorisms? One is fine, a motto for the book; two is OK maybe, three, hmm why stop there?
This introductory piece has too many words for the short, sharp shock you intend. For e.g. why not just: ‘…a tall man with a sword on his hip put his shoulder against the door and gave a single push.’ And ‘…past him onto the room, followed by a man and woman…’
Introitus
The first sentences are wrong. I re-read the first after having read all of those that follow in this chapter and it has just too much of the ‘stilted’ about it. I would put it: Amarante had skin pale and fair but of that creamy tone that, caressed by the sun, would have turned a rich, warm bronze. And I would simplify the third sentence like this: ‘as she had brushed and braided it… All the other sentences are beautiful, although here and there are a word too many at the end of a sentence, or a word missing from the ‘flow’ that I tried to pick up as I read aloud. For e.g.: ‘Amarante grew up surrounded by men of learning and by books’. I think the addition of that ’by’ adds the missing ingredient – but this is my personal reading of course. Erm: ‘even if this were to a daughter and not a son.’
This tiny excess of words appears in the next chapter also. Maybe it is a problem throughout, I haven’t read enough yet, but ‘servants announced to her’ – you just don’t need to her. I’m absolutely sure that such little changes enhance your beautiful writer’s voice. ‘People who speak my mother’s tongue here.’ And cut that ‘here’
Yes, there are bits like this throughout this chapter. For e.g. ‘… ink from my study, she instructed.’ You do not need ‘she instructed’. Do you see how cutting such little bits actually enhances the text? The meaning here, and the speaker’s identity, is fully given by the context. The extra words just aren’t needed.

Right. This is very fine Irene. The research and erudition displayed here are a delight. I love the tone of this work, which I think you have got just right. The minor problems of textual style that I indicate above you will certainly be able to address with little effort. As you read though I hope you will see them from my examples. Mostly I avoid the vampire stuff. There is so much meaningless, trite nonsense. I am as unmoved by young female desire for rape fantasy as I am by the young male need for power fantasy. The notion of living indefinitely to pursue knowledge however is utterly seductive, though terrifying. You create convincing period and place. The descriptions are as lush as the fine fabrics in which you dress your characters. I find it frustrating to have to read a lot on screen but I tried with this because I enjoyed it so much. I would love to hold this in my hands; it has the qualities that I would look forward to visiting each day as I worked through it. Many stars and a backing.

I suddenly find myself with a penchant for vampire stories ... maybe I've been bewitched :D

This is wonderful. I really love how you write .. it has an elegant feel about it and I know you're going to take me to places I wouldn't normally go. I love the idea of Kyrus - what does that say about me?

I am captivated or should that be *charmed* :D

On my shelf when able.

Lynn

Finally got around to commenting on this. I've not made it all the way through, but it really is a lovely read so far. Someone said below that there are a couple of instances of over-used words, and I'd agree with that, but it's really just very minor little niggles. This isn't usually the sort of book I'd go for, but it's so well written that it's almost impossible not to enjoy it. I'll be back for further reading!

Carys

Very well done. Wow. Other people have expressed thier view on this book in words I would use. I would like to see this in print.

Mike.

This is a book I would buy.

I'm enjoying this a lot. It's the type of book that should be read whilst sitting by a crackling fire with a glass of wine! Well done

Excellent, I said I'd look at this some time.

I'm on Chapter 3 (I think). Chess, from reading the text, I think pawns are moving two squares on their first go, but this was not introduced until later (15th Century).

Apart from that, excellent read. I've starred it. I intend to read more.

Exquisite reconstruction of the medieval ambience and learned discourse by a writer who must have historical scholarship in her chromosomes. I loved the way you introduced the paranormal aspect, with Amarante’s gradual realisation in the process of scrutinizing books and manuscripts. At the beginning I was bothered by what I considered a rather cavalier way in which both the central character and the author get into the thick of vampirism; it took me a while to get into your treatment of the theme and see how admirably it fits in the book’s concept. It is precisely this treatment that sets your book apart from the glut of bloodsucker lore that Authonomy finds itself awash in. Still, I would have liked to see a little more emotion when Amarante drinks blood for the first time—give her some goosebumps!

A couple of minor things: After reading several chapters, I still have difficulty seeing any connection to your pitch, the very thing that made me start reading. Also, the two characters chatting without saying anything in the Paris wine house. I know you meant them to introduce some mystery but their tête-à-tête is a bit too cryptic; mystery needn’t mean total obscurity.

Overall, one of the best pieces of historical fiction in Authonomy or outside, with a marvellous twist on a theme that I thought had been beaten to death by platoons of Bram Stocker wannabies.

Too bad they don’t teach Latin in high schools any more!


A.P. Constantin
The Crystal Butterfly Club

I have read four chapters of this and am completely 'charmed' by your writing and your MC - including also the mysterious Kyrus. This is undoubtedly one of the better vampire books on this site (and there are many).

I intend to read all of what you have uploaded here - as time allows - (it will be slow) because I like how you tell a story and I'm immensely impressed by your talent as a writer. I have never been overtly into vampiric literature but this is done with such finesse you have wholeheartedly captured my imagination. I particularly enjoyed their conversations over their challenging chess games and pictured you playing as you wrote - so well described are they.

I really like this.

This has joined the queue for my shelf.

Mick

A pretty impressive pitch too :)

This is an excellent story.
Well-crafted and vivid descriptive prose and engaging narrative prose.
The prologue ( a lot of people hate prologues) was good and hooks well and the pace over all is excellent.
Criticism? Maybe consider removing 'that' from most sentences and avoid using -ly adverbs - to tighten a bit.
Othersiwse, excellent.
Backed

Hi Irene,

You were kind enough to read and back my book, so I'm here to peek at your work. Please don't be offened by any criticism, as I tend to look for things that I can offer constructive thoughts on. And, of course, you can ignore me completely. :)

The 1st thought that occurs to me is to do with your wordcount. 250,000 is a lot, even for fantasy. I think the count may put off prospective agents/pulishers. I've heard the recommended count for fantasy is 100-120k. Feel free to ignore this comment if you already have an agent/publisher since that would obviate the problem. + there is a bright side. You have plenty of room for serious editing, if you need it. :)

OK reading the book now.

1 speech tags: I'd avoid speech tags such as "commanded" or "breathed" for 2 reasons. (i) if such descriptive tags don't perfectly match the dialogue, the tags jar, and if the tags do match the dialogue, they're unneccesary since we already know the information. eg we already know the 1st line of dialogue is a command. (ii) such descriptive speech tags can lead to physical impossibilities eg how do you breathe a word? In either case, I think "said" works better.

2 Occasionally there is a bit of overdescription eg "... did as he had been ordered." We know he does what he's told from the following sentence. + sometimes the action is a little roundabout eg " he put his shoulder up against the door and gave it a single push."

Personally I'd rewrite the 1st paragraph as something like:

'Break it in,' Gratian said.

A tall man with a sword hanging from his hip shoulder-barged the door. The lock burst with a crack, and a large chunk of wood exploded from the door frame. Gratian thrust past him, into the room, followed by two others, a man and a woman.

3 POV. Personally, I'd write this sort of story from a more fixed POV. It's more restrictive, but gains intimacy with your characters. You seem to be writing this in omniscient, which is a perfectly valid choice. I just thought I'd mention my thought on the issue.

4 Dialogue. I'd suggest trying to lead off with dialogue wherever possible. It's faster and easier for the reader that way. eg in the bit "Gratian appeared not to notice..." I'd stick "Who?" just before it.

5 When you introduce Amarante, I felt the story really slowed down due to all the description and backstory. Personally, I'd try and weave that stuff into the story more gradually and subtly to try and keep things moving.

OK I'll stop nitpicking now. I really did enjoy your beginning. I wanted to read on and find out what was going on, but as soon Amarante entered the picture, everything slowed down so much it felt like a different book. There is plenty to enjoy here. The writing is vivid and the story interesting. I just think some editing could really speed the story up and pull the reader in.

I do hope you get this published. It has real potential. Best of luck with it. :)

Pete x

After further reading, I find your book to be a very worthy and captivating story. I've backed your book, and wish you the best of luck.

Tim

A blood thirsty story from the very start.
Would have liked to see more on here as it's coming to the exciting part I feel.
Enjoyed the battle of the chess game it really does heighten the already tension that exists between Kyrus and Amarante.
A fitting book cover, well done.
Excellent and compelling read,I would buy this book.
Pleased to rate it under the new system. RATED.

kind regards,

Neville THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST - THE TIME ZONE.

Bravo! This work is both highly literate and quite entertaining. The research is impeccable - the history, literature, and languages that enliven the narrative are correctly yet interestingly deployed. Where the estimable Harriet Goodchild sees echoes of Eco I find Italo Calvino - especially his "If on a Winter's Night a Traveller..." - and Borges. But, like her, I confess baldfaced surprise that a subgenre so thoroughly encumbered with subpar schlock is here very well represented. The characters are very real, the pacing superb, and the diction inviting. Other than the occasional punctuational errors (especially the failure to use semicolons before independent clauses) and malapropisms ("loaned" instead of "lent" in chapter 2 was quite jarring in the midst of such fine writing), this is a book to savor. I will back this just as soon as some current inmate of my bookshelf is released on its own recognizance.

--James David Audlin
"Rats Live on no Evil Star", etc.

You have taken a segment from the history and converted it into a good fiction. While interpreting history, a writer should have a particular skill to create atmosphere of that age, which included in the history. You have won in it.

Joy J. Kaimaparamban
The Wildfire

This is a masterful bit of storytelling. I like the way the reader is led into thinking this is a straightforward historical novel and then the secret of Kyrus's true nature is revealed. I've only read to the end of chapter 6 so far, but already I fear for Amarante's safety in Mainz. The voice matches the premise and period of the book perfectly. A literary gem.

But I did star you while I was here. :) Go get 'em.
Gerry

Hi. This comment is from Becca Hamilton (ipaintwithwords). She is still without a computer, and sent me this thru her phone to me. So pay no attention to the man behind the curtain:


General impressions:
The quotes at the beginning matched the tone to your writing so well I hadn't even realixed I started reading your story at first. Quite impressive. I loved the whole first scene entirely, and I'd say your writing has a great voice and literary quality, but there were a few snags for me which really might just be your style and didn't defer from my enjoyment on the whole. The POV which seems to be shifting third with occassional omniscience worked for me even tho most writers cannot pull that off, the beginning of the third scene dragged for me. Great content, but for me if that spot were tightened up it would be a more enjoyable read. (I'm but one person!)

There were moments I feared cliche, but you really made the ideas your own and in the end I saw none. I'm not a true fantasy reader, but this is the best written true fantasy novel I've read on this site to date. Great complexities present from the onset and smartly written. I will read more, but I will also back once I have computer access. Please do not feel obligated to return the read--I read this only because its been on my watchlist forever due to the forum raves (deservingly plugged!)

I think that about covers my major likes (and personal dislike) over what I've read so far.


xBeccaX

Ps--if curiosity ever gets the best of you, send me an email and I'll point out the small things that tripped me up in your first chapter (once I get a computer again) but it's really nothing an editor who wants to publish you wouldn't fix themselves if they tripped up on the same things. (Meaning I don't think it's current state would stop a publisher from picking it up). Also, message me in a week, I'll come back and give it stars (star ratings don't work on my phone either. Terribly sorry)

Its been a pleasure reading. I'll keep you on my rotation after initial backing, and will do a forum plug once reading more. All the b
All the best.

I have enjoyed reading Bad Bishop so far. I know it is good when I want to continue reading, with outside forces calling me away unfortunately! I find your book to very well researched and I am impressed at how you are able to capture the realism of setting in a different time bound smoothly together with a creative story. Backed with pleasure.
WJ Stephens
Virtual Crescendo

Have only read the intro and a few paras of the first chapter but already I am intrigued by this work. Beautifully and fluently written. Promise to read more. Happily backed. Ceeds

HI I SOLDATOS' BAD BISHOP
SOME SERIOUS READING IN YOUR BOOK HERE, SO WELL REARCHED AND BRILLIANT WRITING.
ONE OF THE BETTER LITERARY BOOK ON THE SITE. ONE OT CURL UP AGAINST A WARM FIRE AND ENJOY IN SILENCE, READ CHUNKS OF IT AND ENGROSSES IN EVER LI NE
LIKE ' WHEN ROSCIUS LOOKED UP WHEN FEELING A WARM BREATH OF FRESH AIR SLIP INTO THE ROOM AND WHAT DID HE SEE ? yes, a naked woman with long floating hair , i can see the book is full of mystery and written in a dark manner.
backed with pleasure
TOM BYE ' FROM HUGS TO KISSES'
IF Time please look at mine and comment back star if you like it thanks

I have read chapters 1 and 11. What attracted me was the twelfth century setting (having recently finished an MA in this period). And so far, I have enjoyed what I have read. The first chapter is strong: you open with a 'bang' which captures the reader, and then make an about turn, introducing a strong character - giving sufficient background without any hint of dullness. The research seems impeccable, though I wonder if the Latin headings were perhaps overdoing things. Chapter 11 was obviously read out of context, so I have no idea of the story. But it looks like it has move on apace. Perhaps there was a little too much slightly stilted conversation - it read a little like a script in places - but that might be because I did not read it very closely or carefully. Still, you have a good voice, and you write well - and I see that this is already doing well on Authonomy. Ben

Thoroughly engrossing, fluid and delightful, with a feel for the milieu which is engaging but not intrusive. The atmosphere is achieved with a seeming lack of effort that comes from long practice of the craft and scrupulous attention to detail. I have only read the first few chapters, but intend to read all you have posted. Bad Bishop has already earned a place on my shelf.

Do you want any particular feedback?

I hope you don't mind me pointing out a typo:

... for much of the interpretation needed (to) rely on context...

I think it slipped down the page, ending up after: The following evening, as she had resolved

Very good work here. Decent description, good use of sentence structures and dramatic to read.
I take it 'Incipit narratio feliciter velim' means 'I would like to begin this tale happily' or somehing to that effect?

Dagura

The killing and the tattooed killer are intriguing. The story of Amarante that follows ignores the guidelines of not narrating a detailed back-story, but in practice is absorbing and I read it with continued interest until it gradually transformed into action and dialogue with the arrival of the two scholars.

'One can only read old Arabic script if one already knows what is written there', a joke that Kyrus turns into a compliment, a step that eventually leads Amarante to a treatise written by Kyrus of Ulm 177 years before. This fact she rationalises as the two Kyrus being related. The arrival of the book and the comparison of the handwriting negate the logical explanation.

A frisson on finding the note on her pillow, and the short and so-very-clever message. There follows two games of chess that are more courtship than contest - and result in betrothal and conversion. I speculate now on the tattooed man's purpose and his method of killing...

This has a scholarly air to it, like the main characters, but is never dry. It has the quality of a literary work, yet is a supernatural fantasy. It is old fashioned and historical - medieval, gothic, Victorian - and it is that most modern of genres - though this isn't for teenage girls to swoon over (some of the more discerning might). Sinister, moody, intelligent and sexy - Amarante and Kyrus are remarkable attractive and gifted - I can see why this novel has proven so popular here ... backed.

Possible nits: 'the man that [who] had walked in with her'. 'the one that [who] had broken the door' (and a few other places). Not one for repeats, but the following would be more readily understood, 'Many miles away, more miles than any man'. 'right through her scull [skull]'. 'what we have to offer ... and offered it'. In dialogue, have you considered showing the transliteration of the Greek rather than the original (i.e. to give an indication of what is sounds like)?

Many books use ‘the settle the reader in gently then wham them with something shocking’, but this is quite the opposite; murder followed by gentle, almost domestic scenes. More difficult to bring off, but the unease is carried through the following text beautifully.

We are sucked in (pardon the pun) by the main characters. They are beautifully drawn, real people with real motivation and characters we can empathise with.

Your attention to detail makes the scenes come vividly and beautifully alive.

Whilst your attention to place is phenomenal, your attention to period less so. The book opens in one of the most turbulent periods of medieval history for central Europe. The great investiture conflict between Pope and Emperor was nearing conclusion, and this turbulence had swept through central Europe. I would have expected this anarchy to have some impact on them in Mainz. For example The Archbishop had only recently returned from exile for his support of Pope, and its people were very soon to revolt for the release for the next archbishop imprisoned by Emperor.

Some minor points but messaged rather than commented – as they reflect the mores of the reader rather than the book!

Best of luck and thanks for such a good and enjoyable read!
Stephen Lucek.

I thought this was supernatural from the cover but found an engaging read about vampires, you have tried to do something different and fresh in a swamped genre, visual, creepy atmospheric and a solid read