THE MIST

Intriguing, riveting, fast paced. The dialogue seems very easy, despite this often being specifically staged. There is a constant feeling of concealed panic; the swan on the surface. This is not a genre I read often but it has certainly pulled in and made me want to read on. Many stars!

One small criticism is the font...but suspect that is something to do with Authonomy and not you.

Thanks also for backing Marking Time. I'd really like to hear what you think of it, if you have time.

All the best
Crispy

This is pretty interesting. I never thought that a thriller could convince me of true happenings like "The Mist". I love the graphic details in your book. I can see why it's under the genre of Non-Fiction. Very real impact and imagery.

With Love & Best Of Wishes
A.D. Reid

I have no words how to explain how much i like this!
Just Brilliant!

Everything about this was first class. The drama, the action, Tanya, the Pakistani language (which gave the scene reality), the murder...fab. I was on the edge of my seat. I rarely read more than chapter or two, because the person who pops into a book shop or looks at the first few pages of an ebook (called 'look inside') makes a decision based on that. So do I. I would buy this based on the amazing first chapter.
WL and book shelf soon
Andrea
The de Amerley Affair
I'd appreciate a return read if you have the time.

Reading this story is like reading John Le Carre, but a woman's version. This is really gripping from the start, and I found it an easy reading with a perfect flow. The conversations about Muslims in Pakistan, general conception of 'the others' about Muslims, etc. made me feel like I was there on the table with them and listening real voice. The characters are convincing, and somehow I found Ahmed enchanting.
One comment though it is really minor, I think most Arabs today drink tea more than coffee even though (arabica) coffee is supposed to originate from Arabia.
I've just read four chapters and I am looking forward to come back and read more when I have more time.

R

The Mist: Nagwa Malik
A woman running for her life!
Her pursuer is hot on her tracks!
This story begins with a great "kick start" opener!
As I begin to read The Mist, I see there is a good story developing here and good writing too. At the same time, to be honest, I see room for some good editing as well, that will really take this to a more professional level.
I'm reading some other comments here that are "short and sweet", to only say "nice" things. I do believe these are always sincerely appreciated. At the same time, I would say it's been equally appreciated by me, when I've had positive critiques by some good folks here on authonomy, that have helped me see some of the habits I've developed and errors in my script which I am so close to that I can't see them. I think every writer knows what I mean.
Well, everyone likes to hear nice things, of course, but when there are some obvious errors, does the writer want the readers to not notice them, or simply gloss over them, or not point them out, for fear of.....? Well, I think the author will be better served on a site like this, to have any kind of issues brought to their attention.
That being said, beginning with the first paragraph in long pitch, "intelligence agency" is used four times. If I were the editor, this wouldn't pass. Also, the word "the" is typed in twice in a row. Your long and short pitch are the first thing the potential reader sees regarding your story. With obvious errors like this, the reader might wonder if the writer was in a hurry, or if they simply did not edit their work before posting it. I recommend cleaning this up.
Over all, my recommendation is to take this story and give it a good clean up. To be more helpful, here are some specific things I see as the reader/editor:
First paragraph:
In the first sentence, I'd drop the last three words, "...on the road". I feels cluttered to me, as I already see that she is running on a road. The next sentence begins with "Running". Since the reader already knows she is running, I wonder if the sentence needs to repeat the fact. A couple sentences later, "running" is used again. (Suddenly she shifted to cross the road, running by the border of the park." I wonder if there is another word that will express this act just as well, such as "gliding", "moving", "jogging", etc.
In adjoining sentences, there are "black grills" and "iron grills". Might want to consider using different words somewhere here...
The MC "notes" things twice in this paragraph. (...noting the garbage cans... &...she quickly noted the chart..) When words are used more than once in a paragraph....even repeated in two adjoining paragraphs, this is a no-no in my opinion.
"The footsteps were faint, but resuming volume." I think I understand the intention of the author here but question whether "resume" is the right word, verses something like, "increasing in volume."
I'd recommend being careful with the adverbs: suddenly, quickly, hurriedly. There are many more.... I recommend looking at every adverb and deciding if the reader already understands if something is sudden, quick, etc.
Last sentence in first paragraph: "She skipped into the queue and neatly stumbled into the bus." This sentence caught my attention as I wonder how one "neatly" stumbles ... and maybe if the author meant to say, "nearly stumbled".
Second paragraph:
"The owner of the black boots was also clad in black." This sentence caused me to pause, and wonder, was the woman in the first paragraph clad in black? Or....is the author just saying that this person is wearing black boots to match the rest of his attire? I had to re-read the first paragraph to be sure. Black is used twice here as well, and maybe not a problem, but I wonder if the sentence can be improved upon.
Most importantly in this paragraph, is that we find, "under the light", "his skin, light,", and, "His eyes were light." So, a whole lot of "light" going on in a very short paragraph. This needs attention, imo.
Third paragraph:
The second sentence uses the word, "towards", twice. I might suggest something different.
Sentences two, three and four, all have, "the street". I believe that any editor will see this as problematic and see a need to rewrite it so that it's not delivered with such redundancy, making the flow easier as the reader follows the movements of the MC.
Lastly, I see the use of the word fag. I understand this slang term for cigarette, but wonder if "smoke" might work better as many younger readers will misunderstand it as a negative word for a gay person. This is more just my own opinion so it can be easily rejected.
When the dialogue begins, the use of a language that many readers will not understand, is interesting...it brings some character and color to the story, so long as the reader can understand the general intention while not really understanding the words.
Those are just a few things that have caught my attention in the first few paragraphs. There is more in the dialogue which also needs work.
Again, I want to say this work as a whole has great promise, while still needing some improvement with editing.
Nagwa Malik has been very gracious in shelving my book, Isles End, a number of times. I do hope my honestly won't dissuade her from continuing her support. I could have much more easily kept my comments to something exclusively "nice", but that would not have been as helpful, I think....so I want to encourage her to take what she has here and work on improving it to the point where it will be what it deserves to be.... Her very best.
Sincerely,
Joe / Isles End :o)

Hi, thank you very much for the lovely comment. Much appreciated!

I keep returning to your book because it is a real page turner and very cleverly written!!

I keep returning to your book because it is a real page turner and very cleverly written!!

This is a cool spy story. I think it can be even better if you first clean up a bit on your pitch and synopsis, you seem to repeat the same terms which is not needed. The action, I feel, needs to be tightened even more to hook the reader better. For example the first couple paragraphs in chapter one, the chase to the embassy in London, could be written better in a very compacted way to attract attention - in this case 'less is more'. I would focus less on the details and descriptions, but get into the fear of your MC and the desperation she is experiencing while trying to get to the embasy while being followed.
I hope this helps.
The story has potential and I am backing that potential.
All the best
Kirk

A superb start I enjoyed this. Watch you dont 'jar' the reader too much as it could put some people off. Well done.

Sean

Max stars and supporting comment for crafting this lovely book
Well done

Hi Nagwa, I took a look at Chapter 3, thanks for backing my book. I loved the pitch and the story didn't dissapoint. I want to say something critical but for teh first time I am worried you will turn up at my house with a pistol with a silencer on it... lol I do have a couple of nit piks: '...two bells...' I know what you mean, but wondered if '...two rings...' looked better and would be easier to read? Might seem picky but '... he looked into space. He looked at his watch...' could this be a little smoother? '...he looked into space and then glanced at his watch...' There are several instances of the descriptions being in different tenses, past and present, I made similar mistakes, if you read through the story you will see by changing one word or even a letter you can set the tense so it all reads the same. '...she was taking a shower...' to '...she took a shower...' Don't worry, it can be hard to get it right when you wrote it yourself. I have to say I like that it is topical and very relevant, a lot of people will be able to connect with the characters and a lot of bond type fans will love the 'secret agent' stuff.
Very enjoyable read, highly recommended.

Kindest Regards and Best Wishes
Lenny Banks - Tide and Time: At TheRock.

The Mist by Nagwa Malik
What a thrilling opener! You grabbed me and pulled me into the story.
I do like the idea of mixing languages through your work. it adds a unique touch to it. I also thought your pace for your opener was perfect.
Your writing has good flow and development to it as you unfold the plot and hooks.
The characters don't unfold at first but then they become real to the reader.
Grand work.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Please read my pirate adventure Driving Winds.

An explosive opening, fabulous

further on, I like the foreign dialect. I like learning new languages and so, this is right up my street

Still reading but high stars

What a page turner! Happy to put your work on my shelf. Hope you have a chance to take a look at Dark Side by CC Brown. Good Luck!
61BBboy

This is great, classic spy novel material! Your writing style is just right, with plenty of action and interesting characters. I particularly liked the gate guard for his very human mix of characteristics. It's also refreshing to see such a classic genre with a Pakistani twist. Best of luck with this!
Tod

http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

~The Mist by Nagwa Malik~

The Mist is a fast-paced, furious Crime/Thriller that keeps you wanting more from the get-go. Tanya is a strong, feisty protagonist to whom the reader immediately warms. If you love the short, sharp style of Karl Bruen, then you'll love The Mist!

Highly starred, recommended and WL so I can read more!

Iman xxx

http://www.authonomy.com/books/39355/miss-manners

Here are just a few suggestions:

There is a lot of great narration, but perhaps you can add a little more character/setting description & dialogue?

~Chapter 1~

- 'Suddenly she shifted to cross...' (perhaps start this as a new sentence?)

- 'He seemed lean, but his neck was rather thick[,] like an ex-athlete's.' (remove comma here)

- 'The guard there [lit up a Marlboro].' (Replaced with something like 'lit up a Marlboro' instead of 'having a fag')

- '...he repeated [it] slowly and clearly, as if talking to [the mentally retarded] (Remove 'it' here, then change 'mentally retarded' to something like 'a disobedient child.'

Great spy novel, you wrote this very well! I like how you used an alternative view of the terrorists. I say A++. Highly starred.
Thanks,
Scott

Great spy novel, you wrote this very well! I like how you used an alternative view of the terrorists. I say A++. Highly starred.
Thanks,
Scott

I'm adding you. You have very good creative ideas in your writing! I love spy intrigue! Just starting the BIG work (yours). You're on my WL. Jaye

Najwa,

As promised, here is my return read. I always go over the first chapter and if you want me to read more let me know. I like how you take the reader right into the dialogue. It is great way to involve us in the story right off the bat. I loved that aspect. You also have me intrigued as to what will happen to Tanya. It makes me want to turn the page and keep on reading. A very good sign. I love the line, "ran for her life." It sounds cliche, but it works for the story. I am giving you plenty of stars to help boost the rating! Good luck with everything, this is a promising story!

Best,

Ashley

Hi, thank you very much for the kind gesture, and the advise, although i may explain here that the words i have used below as pinpointed by you were deliberate: writing a novel and writing a script have two basic differences; in scripts we have to be short, crisp and use strong adverbs and throw out the weak ones, however in novel writing the best part is playing with words, alternating between the strong and the weak and adding a new flavour to the already growing language. Thus my choice. About boom, yes i need to fix that and put it separate and in caps. I will definitely try and read your book esp the parts with Pakistan...because i have learnt to becomevery sensitive about alot of misinformation concerning Pakistan, not to mention that many have actually thought of Pakistan as Afghanistan when we are not related by a long stretch except for sharing our borders!!! So yes i shall take a look at your book and i am so glad that you are writing about such stuff. Thank you and take care.

Hello Nagwa! I sought this book out because I'm looking for other books written about Pakistan. And I found one! And one that talks about ISI! Wow. I too have written about Pakistan, and ISI to boot. I've read your first chapter and can't wait to read on to see how our stories compare. I might be biased but I love the idea of this. I've fallen in love with Pakistan--I wrote about Peshawar in particular, and am happy to see others writing about it as well.

Some of the dialog seems a bit clunky at times (relax!), and there are some word choices I have recommended changes for. I've made some of the same minor crits that others have, and listed them below.
"find out the smell" (could be 'pinpoint the odor.')

"noticed the green cloth carefully" (I'd delete carefully)

Boom might be better in all caps.

...as if to remove or fix her shoe...(could be 'pretending to fix her shoe.')

...exclaimed realistically. (could be 'shouted' or just exclaimed.)

...walked rapidly...(could be 'dashed' or 'trotted')

...shut it closed firmly...(could be 'slammed it.'

...looking at him severely.....(could be 'glaring at him.')


Use stronger verbs instead of weak verbs and weak adjectives (ly words). A thesaurus should help with that. Other than that, and they are easy fixes, you have a real winner. I've highly rated it for the topic alone, and have watchlisted it. (Fix some of the very easy problems below and you'll be on my shelf in a heartbeat!) I would love for you to take a look at my book, The Zero Line, especially for your opinion on the Pakistani sections. All the best of luck to you with this, Nagwa. Jean Kinkade

Hello Nagwa! I sought this book out because I'm looking for other books written about Pakistan. And I found one! And one that talks about ISI! Wow. I too have written about Pakistan, and ISI to boot. I've read your first chapter and can't wait to read on to see how our stories compare. I might be biased but I love the idea of this. I've fallen in love with Pakistan--I wrote about Peshawar in particular, and am happy to see others writing about it as well.

Some of the dialog seems a bit clunky at times (relax!), and there are some word choices I have recommended changes for. I've made some of the same minor crits that others have, and listed them below.
"find out the smell" (could be 'pinpoint the odor.')

"noticed the green cloth carefully" (I'd delete carefully)

Boom might be better in all caps.

...as if to remove or fix her shoe...(could be 'pretending to fix her shoe.')

...exclaimed realistically. (could be 'shouted' or just exclaimed.)

...walked rapidly...(could be 'dashed' or 'trotted')

...shut it closed firmly...(could be 'slammed it.'

...looking at him severely.....(could be 'glaring at him.')


Use stronger verbs instead of weak verbs and weak adjectives. A thesaurus should help with that. Other than that, and they are easy fixes, you have a real winner. I've highly rated it for the topic alone, and have watchlisted it. (Fix some of the very easy problems below and you'll be on my shelf in a heartbeat!) I would love for you to take a look at my book, The Zero Line, especially for your opinion on the Pakistani sections. All the best of luck to you with this, Nagwa. Jean Kinkade

Nagwa,

I started reading your Opus and thought I would give you my cent and half:

Some Minor/Minorest/Minormost stylistic points:

you need some description of Tanya at the start to create an image in the reader

"suddenly, she shifted...."
the suddenly is unnecessary, for your prose, through it's phase, is showing it

"Scanning it...
again unnecessary....

in the first paragraph I would have liked some body language descriptions in between the action, to play the role of close ups
i.e. "the lock got stuck, her face cringed,the pommels all corrugated, she kept moving"
like that

"he was European, maybe English"
don't say that...give a clue so that the reader sees a European, without you having to mention it
"the Burberry coat tight, his face white as snow, etc
there, a European without the name.

many people in this site are going to tell you you need to translate those passages. Don't.
Leave it as that.

Boom!
in a line of it's own

"It wasn't long....
now that the hook is over...take your time and establish place
You no longer need to rush through.

"It was night...
Again throughout this paragraph some body language in between.
The reader is with her; body language is needed to keep that connection going
like you do later on: "she counted with her breath"

"a well furnished....
this does not create a mental picture, which is what description is all about

"He looked like a banker"
same problem as the Englishman

"he seemed embarrassed..."
too abstract, instead: "his cheeks red, his eyes squinting"
there, embarrassed

"seemed to be engrossed"
same problem

"Tanya walked rapidly...."

The key stylistic problem throughout is that you are writing in a very compressed manner.
That creates a speed of action without you having to mention it (i.e. walked rapidly, etc).
For, it is invoked through the phasing/compression
Instead, stick to pure description for, the more compressed you write, the more concrete and precise the imagery has to be, in order for the reader to stay with the character.
The reader has to be inserted in the mind's eye of you character for this fast phase to work.
You do that by inserting body descriptions throughout the plotting.
The faster you go, the more you need to do that

Don't touch anything on the dialogue for, is working as it should

Let me know if that helps,

david

I think you have a lot of work to do. Robust editing is required here.

Hi, thank you for your comments...much appreciated. Will try to figure out what to do with the pitch changes...

Hi Nagwa,
I really like this kind of book and am reading with interest!
I have to agree with Susanna.K.James about the lastparagraph of you pitch. I've lived in the Middle East, so I understand where you are coming from, but you can get the point across better.
First, you say: "She is on a two-fold mission: to expose the truth behind the war..."
Which war? You should say this earlier in your pitch.
Last paragraph, maybe something like (but put it earlier in your pitch):
"Tanya might surprise many readers. She's Muslim, she's a patriot and she's anti-terrorist: committed to peace and stability.
Your current next-to-last paragraph could then be the last paragraph, but needs a teaser as a final sentence.
I hope my comments are OK!
I have BACKED your book!
Duane

Hi Nagwa,
I really like this kind of book and am reading with interest!
I have to agree with Susanna.K.James about the lastparagraph of you pitch. I've lived in the Middle East, so I understand where you are coming from, but you can get the point across better.
First, you say: "She is on a two-fold mission: to expose the truth behind the war..."
Which war? You should say this earlier in your pitch.
Last paragraph, maybe something like (but put it earlier in your pitch):
"Tanya might surprise many readers. She's Muslim, she's a patriot and she's anti-terrorist: committed to peace and stability.
Your current next-to-last paragraph could then be the last paragraph, but needs a teaser as a final sentence.
I hope my comments are OK!
I have BACKED your book!
Duane

Hi Nagwa

Here is the long promised return read. I am sorry it has taken me so long but I have had a frantic time at work recently.

I enjoyed your pitch - although I do not understand what a 'black ops agent' actually does. However, I think you should drop the last paragraph of the pitch. I, and others, may sympathise with what you are trying to do but nobody likes to be told that they are about to be 'educated' when they pick up a work of fiction. It puts people off. If you succeed in teaching your readers something, then that is a bonus but you will have to be subtle about it. Also you need to be wary about using the phrase 'common man' - I am a woman - as are the majority of fiction readers.

The opening of your book is exciting as Tanya is chased across the streets of London. However, you give us too much unnecessary information about garbage cans and grills which slows down the pace of the narrative and intrudes into the action. I also doubt that she would have paused to read the bus timetable - I think you need to drop that bit. I was unclear about whether or not, her pursuer followed her onto the bus?

When she is in the ambassadors office you need to start a new paragraph for the line: 'She quickly jumped through the window...' I think you also need to describe this in more detail and explain how she managed to fall down several storeys and not hurt herself. I am beginning to think that Tanya has superhuman powers.

You continue to give us every little detail about what she does - including switching on her computer. Much of this is unnecessary and would benefit from a good edit.

You shifted away from Tanya's point of view with the paragraph beginning 'The next day the police were removing the cordon...' This was authorial intrusion and it jarred a bit.

During your second description about Tanya being followed, again you give us too much information about the route she followed and the shops she passed. This slows down the pace during a section which should be quite exciting and detracts from our surprise when she neatly murders her follower. How did he find her again, by the way? This was never explained.

Overall, I think you have probably got the basis of an exciting spy thriller here Nagwa, however, I have to confess that apart from running around London trying to give people the slip, I am a bit confused about what Tanya's role in the secret service actually is? She does not seem to have a mission or a purpose.

Anyway, I will rate this highly and I sincerely wish you all the best with it.

Susanna
'Catching the Eagle'

hi...thanks that was indded a typing error, it was past tense! i didnt notice it. thank you. and will try and do the change now on the green surface too. thank you very much for your kind comments.

Hi Nagwa,
….The green surface came off rather difficultly…
Needs to be (The green surface came off with some difficulty)?
…He smiled and gestured at the bottle he’s placed… (He’d) past tense speech.
If you use 'he's' then you need to change to..'smiles' , 'gestures' and a bit more after that.
This is a great book, full of intrigue , mystery and suspense.
Characters are good, especially, Tania, who makes an excellent contribution to your book.
A fast moving thriller that holds its own in the world of spying, compelling storyline, unique.
Due to errors with the site, I was unable to read on past ch.3 but will try again later.
Pleased to star rate your book on what I have read so far though. Great stuff!!
Will be back.

Kind regards,

Neville. THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST - SERIES.

Hi Nagwa,
….The green surface came off rather difficultly…
Needs to be (The green surface came off with some difficulty)?
…He smiled and gestured at the bottle he’s placed… (He’d) past tense speech.
If you use 'he's' then you need to change to..'smiles' , 'gestures' and a bit more after that.
This is a great book, full of intrigue , mystery and suspense.
Characters are good, especially, Tania, who makes an excellent contribution to your book.
A fast moving thriller that holds its own in the world of spying, compelling storyline, unique.
Due to errors with the site, I was unable to read on past ch.3 but will try again later.
Pleased to star rate your book on what I have read so far though. Great stuff!!
Will be back.

Kind regards,

Neville. THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST - SERIES.

Hi, once more thank you so much for taking all the time and care to go through my book and give me some honest feedback, that is always appreciated. Well, i am a native english speaker, but you are write, i am not British...it's really weird but although i was not born in Pakistan my family shifted here almost 20years ago, and out the window went my original birth english language to be replaced by the colonial collq used in Pakistan...as a result my english has become a mixture of american, british, african and Asian colloq...but i like to mess around with it when writing...as you noted it gives a unique flavour that one is typically not used to...i enjoy it. But in other places i do need proof reading as it is very difficult to edit one's own work.
About the cover..hmm,i know but i cant seem to find any cover that does indeed justify my book. So i am afraid i will for the moment have to overlook that aspect...

This is a wonderfully exciting tale which I plan to list on my profile page - a complete book to come back to at greater leisure. Very good and to be backed.
Problems: My guess is that you're not a native speaker of English, as in places, there are misused words and awkward phrasing. eg. 'came off rather difficultly' and 'it seemed he was surveilling it.' You need a proof-reader to pick these up, as often they can seem like a logical construction, but yet sound very wrong to an English ear. In other places, there is some imaginative use of words that maybe a native English speaker would not have thought of. eg. 'they wouldn't stop until the person ended up a wasteland, a nothing.' So there is good as well as bad in that respect.
One last thing: You really should organise yourself a book-cover. Your book deserves the respect. It is also a part of marketing. You don't want your book confused with too many others with the same generic book-cover.
I'm looking forward to having the leisure to read your complete book. Marj.

This is a wonderfully exciting tale which I plan to list on my profile page - a complete book to come back to at greater leisure. Very good and to be backed.
Problems: My guess is that you're not a native speaker of English, as in places, there are misused words and awkward phrasing. eg. 'came off rather difficultly' and 'it seemed he was surveilling it.' You need a proof-reader to pick these up, as often they can seem like a logical construction, but yet sound very wrong to an English ear. In other places, there is some imaginative use of words that maybe a native English speaker would not have thought of. eg. 'they wouldn't stop until the person ended up a wasteland, a nothing.' So there is good as well as bad in that respect.
One last thing: You really should organise yourself a book-cover. Your book deserves the respect. It is also a part of marketing. You don't want your book confused with too many others with the same generic book-cover.
I'm looking forward to having the leisure to read your complete book. Marj.

I'm sorry to see that you are falling victim of the "Yes" people

You can't neatly stumble

You must go for a run Nagwa, do as your character has, distance and speed, see what you can hear whilst running. Then write it.

How amazing, you are, Nagwa!! :) Thank you so very much for again backing my memoirs/testimony book? :) May God richly bless you. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. I just looked to see if I had ******-ed both of your books & they are ******-rated (6 gold ******'s) :) - could you please ****** mine, too. :) Every ****** -ing & at least 24 hour backing moves our books closer to the editor's desk :) I want to ask you if you could please keep my book on your bookshelf as long as possible because I'm 7 from the editor's desk & trying to be in the top 5 to be chosen, the end of December :) - I had a mini-stroke Nov. 10 with slurred speech for an hour & numbness of tongue still & over 20 smaller ones where I couldn't speak since & I"d sure like to cross the finish line of the editor's desk after 9 months trying on authonomy. :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me :) - I have lost 3 sisters to strokes & my last sister, Mary had 2 heart attacks earlier this year.

eh voila! enfin tout le monde j'ai finalement complete mon livre! that is to say the process of uploading it...and my God was it hours of butt stinging process for weeks on end even months since the day i uploaded the tihng...please please all of you do read it all and enjoy it while i relax and take off from the online committee until i am ready to struggle on uploading my first book placed here Life makes a Novel...enjoy! and thank you all so much

i must thank all of you once more...especially you susie and Andrew and Denise...best of luck to you all....and to me right now while i try uploading more of my book! Take care

Dear Nagwa
I just wanted to make comment on your amazing book cover which drew me to your book. I am pumped to read it. Your short pitch really is good and this was the second prompt I had to step further into the world of your book. I have a suggestion for the long pitch and that is to put a para in. This maybe the first read your potential publisher will have of your book and it could give the impression of being a little long, though it is not..and so far your book deserves the read. I am very excited to get really into it.
I have placed this book on my WL ....Best of luck
Would you review my book, different genre, but please comment. thanks
Denise
The Letter
please take the time to comment and back my book

Thank you ever so much for such a compliment. i hope to be able to upload all the chapters so that you can have a complete read.

this is agony i mean i have spent one and a half hour trying to upload my chapters as this novel is actually complete...but everytime an error comes up...what is wrong with this site?

You have written a very interesting and unique storyline, which I do like, and created a most memorable main character in Tanya. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing makes your thriller a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Dear Nagwa
I just wanted to make comment on your amazing book cover which drew me to your book. I am pumped to read it. Your short pitch really is good and this was the second prompt I had to step further into the world of your book. I have a suggestion for the long pitch and that is to put a para in. This maybe the first read your potential publisher will have of your book and it could give the impression of being a little long, though it is not..and so far your book deserves the read. I am very excited to get really into it.
I have placed this book on my WL ....Best of luck
Would you review my book, different genre, but please comment. thanks
Denise
The Letter
please take the time to comment and back my book

Dear Nagwa, I love that you have told me all of this secret service activity :) - I had no idea :) - WOW! :) Totally amazing. :) Your pitch was totally concise, so that I wasn't confused as to the activity of your heroine. :) All I can say is that it's unbelievable what goes on undercover :) - I'm so thankful that I'm not a part of it :) - I'd be scared to death. :) Crisp dialogue & paragraphs made for a really quick read. :) Great write!! I've backed both of your books :) - I'd love if you'd back my memoirs book. :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

As usual my problem arises that i do not have chapter divisions in my novel, but have had to divide them in order to upload the material... so please ignore any slight errors you may not regarding the ending or size of the chapters. It is a novel to be read as one continuous piece. Thank you very much in advance for your comments, i may not be very active in checking my work simply because of net problems on my end, but please do not take it otherwise.
thank you very much

:) comment to follow - read & commented on 3 hours later :)