The Elemental Warrior

Good first chapter. Mr Thorn scared the living daylights out of me! Good descriptive writing. Suggest you remove the mass of blank space at the start, just to make the format look tidier. I will put you on my watch list for now. Have rated your book .Lindsey J.

This is full of suspense and action, with characters and situations any young person could relate to. I loved the way Jack dealt with the Doxy brothers, while Helen promises to be a brilliant sidekick. The shift of POV to the evil Mr. Thorn in Chapter 5 was very well timed. I've read to the end of Ch 6 so far and can't wait to find out what the mysterious symbols are. It's a story that makes you want to keep on reading - which is probably the best property any book can have.

nice hook at the end of the last chapter. Great suspense throughout, and well written, strongly and directly. It moves quickly, especially the prologue, but probably just quick enough for its intended audience. Jack is a great MC, with whom any child who has moved home will relate. This would make a wonderful children's book! Great work!

Best of luck,

Selena Hallahan - 'With Teeth'

Nicely done...the writing is confident and direct with few errors of any import. There seems to be a strong Sci-fi influence, especially HGWells so I don't know just how original this is...will back soon!
Stay well
Stewart

Dear Daniel, I love the suspense when Ted, the old guard went down into the pit :) - great intrigue. :) The party & the letter on the bed with the parcel with medals was a great plus in chapter 29. :) Great fantasy!! :) Your pitch was beckoning & your tight paragraphs & dialogue made for a good read. :) Hope you'll write many more books. :) I've read, backed, & commented on your book :) - could you please take just a moment to back my memoirs book? :) Thanks so very much :) - I'm 19 from the editor's desk & every backing moves me closer. :) Love, Susie :)

"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved," quote from athonomy. :)

Thanks Liz - I've just added The Cheech Room to my watch list (haven't figured out the bookshelf thing yet!) and will leave feedback very soon.
Cheers,
Dan

Hi Andrew - thanks for the feedback. I haven't had much time to look around the site yet (thus the late-night reply!) but will certainly take a read through your work.
Cheers,
Dan

Oh wow, this is brilliant, tense, scary and compelling. Backed.

THE ELEMENTAL WARRIOR,

This really has it all. A really idea with Jack and his magical powers, a friendly and approachable hero and Helen, who comes to Jack's rescue when it makes a mess of everything. Despite the unlikliness of the pair they make a remarkable duo and together they have the most amazing and exciting adventures.
Well written, nice characters that are sympathic and best of all exciting and fun for ALL ages.
Backed
Faith
The Assassins Village

:) comment to follow - read & commented on 1 day later :)

An intriguing storyline done with talented writing. Easy to back.

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

You have written a very interesting and unique storyline, which I do like, and created a most memorable main character in Jack. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing ensures that your fantasy thriller will appeal to the YA audience. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning