Book Jacket

 

rank 5000
word count 13761
date submitted 26.10.2010
date updated 03.11.2010
genres: Non-fiction, History, Harper True L...
classification: moderate
incomplete

Balkanized at Sunrise

Joe Tripician

The true and hilarious story of how a science-fiction author was hired to keep Croatia's president from a war crimes indictment.

 

In the immediate aftermath of the bloody Balkan wars of the 90s, a penniless science-fiction author was hired to write the official biography of Croatia's President, Franjo Tudjman.

In an effort to keep Tudjman out of the War Crimes Tribunal in The Hague, the Croatian government hired Joe Tripician, the author of "The Official Alien Abductee's Handbook", to pen a state-sanctioned biography for US consumption. The biography, far from a whitewashed piece of propaganda, became a darkly comic and sadly tragic tale of deception, danger, death and desire, where guilt abounds, but responsibility remains elusive.

"Balkanized at Sunrise" is the true story of how Joe navigated between toadying government aides, lying politicians, harassed dissident journalists, and Croatian and Bosnian women looking for a quick visa. It's a fascinating memoir of political, moral, and sexual proportions.

Available in paperback from Lulu.com
and in digital format from: Amazon Kindle, Barnes & Noble, Sony, Kobo, Diesel, Scribd, and Smashwords.

 
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tags

balkan war, balkans, banned book, bosnia war, censorship, croatia, dark tourism, espionage, former yugoslavia, franjo tudjman, history, humor, interna...

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In Tito’s Shadow

CHAPTER SEVEN

“In Tito’s Shadow”

 

 

“Why should I be a minority in your country, when you can be a minority in mine?”  – Modern Balkan expression

 

The ride to the Presidential Residence is scenic.  The winding road is carved into a meticulously maintained forest and leads upwards to a hill with an understated stone sculpture.  It resembles a nature conservatory, only with armed plain-clothed security, metal detectors, and overly costumed Palace Guards, decked out in red and gold, with bayoneted rifles and fez-like hats: like a low-budget version of the Buckingham Palace Guard.  The estate was one of Tito’s many residences built in the Cold War early-’60s style familiar to anyone who’s seen a James Bond film or visited the UN.  There are, of course, no red stars, but there is one bust of Tito placed alone and unattended in the foyer.

Through security, we enter the main hall, “where many heads of state were entertained,” I’m told.  It boasts a parquet floor, one baby grand piano, 18-foot ceilings, and a plush carpet the entire 54-foot length of the hall.  A small reception table now holds a compact make-up kit for the President’s TV appearance.

A flurry of aides and the ubiquitous security men mill around for an hour before he makes his appearance.  Most, except the security, begin to get the breathless jitters one sees in underlings forever concerned about their jobs. 

And then Franjo Tudjman enters, relaxed and smiling wearily at the make-up lady, comically annoyed at having to undergo another TV interview.  He is a man of 76, with a rigid back and expressive hands.  He speaks without once unclenching his teeth, and always through the right side of his mouth, somewhere between a stroke victim and W.C. Fields.

His emotions are all on the surface.  He is passionate about his country, and short-tempered with all criticism.  He is a man completely made of politics.  To every question, personal or political, he answers in terms of historical forces and allegiances: fascism, communism, and everything and everybody in between who may be the enemy of Croatian nationalism.  It’s a familiar rap to anyone acquainted with his beliefs, and one that informs every single action since his run for the presidency.  Other opinions and facts are simply not addressed or acknowledged.  It’s a single-mindedness befitting a military man, but questionable for a head of state. 

Only the day before this interview, October 6, 1997, a deal is announced in which 10 Bosnian Croat war crimes suspects “voluntarily” surrender to The Hague.  This announcement is followed by the release of a $40 million credit to Croatia by the International Monetary Fund, an amount much less than my literary advance. 

I decide to test his anger with a few of the questions. 

“Mr. President, yesterday Croatia agreed that its war criminals will surrender themselves to The Hague.  Do you see war crimes as an unavoidable part of war?  It was reported that when you learned about the death camps in Bosnia in 1993 you expressed no surprise, saying that that others had camps as well.”

He grimaces: is it the blinding TV lights or anger toward my question?

“I do not think it would be correct to speak about a people who voluntarily go to The Hague Tribunal as war criminals,” he speaks through his interpreter, “because according to any national or international law – they have been indicted, but nobody is guilty until proven so.”  Tudjman pauses.  Moments later the interpreter pauses.  I start to ask a follow-up, when Tudjman continues.  “I definitely am in favor and support investigation of all such cases, but again, let me repeat, I am not in favor of regarding in the same terms those who caused the aggression, who caused all these tragedies, who jeopardized both the existence of Croatia and the life of its citizens, and those people who during various operations could not curb, could not control their feelings of revenge, their wishes to retaliate.” 

The tone of his response is filled with such finality that I wonder if our interview is over before it even begins.

I plow on with my next question.  “Mr. President, there are critics who claim your political party has replaced the communists as a one-party regime, in which your appointees dominate the economy, and in which the main media are under strict control.”

He bows his head, laughs, then, responds, as if placating a baby who had wet the carpet.  “Well, I know that you are well intentioned, so I will try to answer some of these questions.  First of all, let me claim that there are more democratic rights being granted in this country that in any Western country.”  He coughs, swallows, and continues like a patient with a bad taste of medicine on his tongue.  “And I can also claim with full responsibility that I personally, and the Croatian government, have less influence, less impact on TV, than is the case in your own country, the United States.”

“But when I spoke recently with Mate Granic, your foreign minister, he told me, off the record, that your government ‘quite frankly has more control of the TV media than the press.’”  

In that split second, Tudjman turns angry, huffing and shrugging his shoulders like a turkey in a cockfight.

“Mate, Mate, Mate …”  Although his foreign minister is not in the room, I can only imagine how he is now feeling the cold hands of Tudjman slapping his face in disapproval.  Then Tudjman falls silent.

“Mr. President, is that the end of our interview?”

That is the end of our interview.

He leaves immediately.  Seconds after he’s gone, the crew all has a good laugh, and everyone is grabbing heavy drinks from the kitchen.  It is 11:30 a.m.  They’re imagining how the old man will chew out Mate Granic, this poor, liberal cabinet official – the Little Monk, as he is nicknamed – who was once considered to be next in line when Tudjman dies.  I hope I didn’t just change the course of international politics.  I’d better book my return ticket.

 

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7

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boskolon wrote 256 days ago

A hilarious story well told. I bought three copies to give to friends before I found it here.
Many stars.
b.

Kaimaparamban wrote 890 days ago

Balkan atmosphere, whether it may be politics or not is will be an interesting treat for readers. For some years news from this place is disturbing world. If you make a genuine approachment to the theme, it will be a good creation.

Joy J. Kaimaparamban
The Wildfire

Light Between Shadows wrote 916 days ago

This was an entertaining and enlightening read, especially because I am familiar with the place and players. Bought and read your book -- and would have ended it in a different place -- not with the letters, etc. keeping those as footnotes. Also suggest, if you are thinking that you might want to find a publisher for this, that you tell us more of your story because you come across as an appealing character - wise guy but self-deprecating in a nice way. Also because don't you find that the general population is not overly interested in that fascinating, strange part of the world? Best of luck to you and hope you read and comment on my own Balkan-tale.
Best,
Tricia

Balepy wrote 917 days ago

Joe - Balcanized at Sunrise is an absolute hoot! Great writing, funny and all the more so as it is true - backed with enthusiasm by Balepy (Freckles the Fawn)

briantodd wrote 919 days ago

Dear Joe

This is a fascinating and entertaining read. You start off like an updated Raymond Chandler character and the reader knows in seconds that this book is going to be as good as the enticing pitch sounds. You really have a great story to tell here and I guess only the ten years plus since the events you portray allows you to tell it now. Any subject, even ethnic cleansing and other activities of war criminals, can be treated with humour, but an author has to be careful to avoid veering off the fine line required into bad taste and you manage this hazard well. You deploy an evenhanded approach in your portayal of the conflict. I enjoyed most the phone calls and interviews and project arrangement shenanigans with your cast of characters as you embark on this mission. Getting these witnesses to take you (and the reader) through the most important events and questions to do with the complicated matter of balkan history and the most recent ethnic and religious conflict is well handled. I was worried about the amount of information you put in that first chapter. It is considered, balanced and informative but in the wrong place there. It stands uneasily against your admission that you barely knew what you were letting yourself in for and only got involved because you were broke. However your honesty shines through and I particularly liked the line about feeling like a blundering american from a Graham Greene novel as well as Prof. Ivos summary of you as 'miserably unqualified to write a book about the balkans'. You leave us still delving into the murky and complex recent past of the main participants in Zagreb. You are about to meet your personal 'deep throat' the 'priest'. I'll be eavesdropping on what he has got to say. I feel already that I know more about the last two decades of this tragedy than I learned from everything else I have ever read on the subject. I hope you continue to tell it as well and that you show that you managed to follow the advice of that old Yukoslav proverb you so aptly quote 'Tell the truth and run.'

regards

Brian

Andy M. Potter wrote 925 days ago

Joe, immediately engaging. i'm hooked: politics, adventure, blondes, wry humour ;)
what i really like, though, is the writing itself. strong narrative voice. no quibbles, and i usually have a few picky comments.
starred and on my shelf.
best, andy

Sandra Davidson wrote 934 days ago

Joe,
I thoroughly enjoyed and backed your book. It's always a nice surprize to start reading a new book and find that the writing is good, the voice fresh, and the story a nice easy, breezy read. I will go back and finish reading it now.
Sandra Davidson - COLD MOON RISING - now a kindle book with new title - BORROWED TROUBLE and THE CRYING MADONNA newly uploaded to authonomy

Edward E G wrote 935 days ago

Your narration has a sort of "Kid stays in the Picture," feel. My only thought would be to involve more of you're senses (smell,taste etc.) to drraw the reader in. Backed

name falied moderation wrote 937 days ago

Dear Joe
I truly wish you the best of luck with this book of yours. I have not read it all will do so. Just wanted to give you the encouragement....I will rate it when I find out more about this new system

Denise
The Letter

joetrip wrote 937 days ago

Thanks, Missy. I appreciate your comments.

I've really enjoyed this book! You've got a great writing style. All the elements are here for an enjoyable read.I had to go back and check a couple times to see if this were really and truly non-fiction because it read like a thriller. That is hard to do! I don't know much about that part of the world, and haven't read much either so this entertained me in a couple different ways. I think your strength is dialogue, it's nice and natural and reads easily.

Love the first Groucho Marx quote!

I've made it to chatper 4 and will finish what you have posted. This has been sitting on my watchlist for a couple days. I might not have room for you on my shelf but I will someday! Nice job with this and good luck.

Missy
Mark of Eternity

missyfleming_22 wrote 937 days ago

I've really enjoyed this book! You've got a great writing style. All the elements are here for an enjoyable read.I had to go back and check a couple times to see if this were really and truly non-fiction because it read like a thriller. That is hard to do! I don't know much about that part of the world, and haven't read much either so this entertained me in a couple different ways. I think your strength is dialogue, it's nice and natural and reads easily.

Love the first Groucho Marx quote!

I've made it to chatper 4 and will finish what you have posted. This has been sitting on my watchlist for a couple days. I might not have room for you on my shelf but I will someday! Nice job with this and good luck.

Missy
Mark of Eternity

joetrip wrote 937 days ago

I've gone the self-pub route on this one. The paperback is available on Lulu.com, the ebook is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Sony, Smashwords, Kobo, Diesel & Scribd. More info at joetrip.com


Ebook

What an amazing story, Joe. Written with great clarity and humour - I just wonder why this is on Authonomy and not blasting its way through the publication process. Shelved.

Keefieboy wrote 937 days ago

What an amazing story, Joe. Written with great clarity and humour - I just wonder why this is on Authonomy and not blasting its way through the publication process. Shelved.

Gefordson wrote 937 days ago

I think this book has huge potential. There are so many things to like about it. The dialogue is great - reminded me a bit of 'Kiss, kiss, bang,bang', that kind of smart one liner come back, combined with hard boiled men in a hard boiled world.
I don't mind the scene shifting - my one concern is the tone shifting. When you introduce Jakov (very Simpsons) - the short bit of exposition beginning 'Jakov Stedlar was then ..' - there's a feeling of the gears grating. You're such a good writer I think this could have been handled with your usual deft touch.
Good luck with this. Should be a real winner.
Gefordson
Nothing you can do.

vivalasbradleys wrote 938 days ago

This is quite well done. I especially dig on the dialog -- why is it real dialog is always better than fictional? -- and the fact it's a true story that reads like a novel. I've read two chapters and plan on more.

A few typos here and there (watch your punctuation). Also, in the first chapter you mention “Jakov’s massive frame is larger than his toothy smile…” You may want to rewrite that as most peoples’ frames are larger than their smiles. I know what you were getting at but perhaps you might want to re-word that.

Anyway, nicely done.

Lenore wrote 938 days ago

On my real shelf at home, I am currently reading Geraldine Brooks' "People of the Book" about the former Yugoslavia, so I considered it serendipity to find your book. I'm fascinated with the stories behind the headlines and was hooked to your story within the first chapter, not only because of what happened but also because, as a former journalist, I enjoyed the challenge to maintain ethical standards but also pay the bills. I admit wondering why you made use of all those divisions and assumed you found it useful rather than find segues. Such a fascinating story. Thank you.
Lenore
Surviving the Seaweed

SusieGulick wrote 939 days ago

Dear Joe, I love that you got inside his head to find the truth :) - forgot what chapter that was in. :) Your pitch is amazing that it's true & that there really was a coverup of theevil of the past president in Crotia :) - amazing! :) Totally amazing!! :) KInda scary, though. :) I'd sure not want to have your job. :) I've backed your book :) - could you please take just a moment to back my memoirs book? :) Thank you so very much :) - I'm 19 away from the editor's desk & every backing moves me closer. :) Love, Susie :)

"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved," quote from authonomy. :)

fh wrote 939 days ago

BALKANIZED AT SUNRISE
This is a surprise. Humourous and full of action - not what I expected at all. A good sound and well worthy read.
Faith
The Assassins Village

joetrip wrote 939 days ago

Stewart,
I did do more with her -- just not on the page ;)

Good fun indeed...I think you could have done more with (!) the ex-porn starlette during the barbecue!
Backed
Stewart

joetrip wrote 939 days ago

Yasmin, you are too kind. Many thanks.

You are a masterful writer! You know how to connect to the reader and keep the reader gasping for the next page. This has a beyond fascinating theme and you are definitely ahead of the writers' pack,

Great job and congratulations

Backed
the mind setter

joetrip wrote 939 days ago

Thanks. I will check it out.

What fun. Backed. Have you ever read Yellow Blue Tibia, by Adam Roberts? ... 'in 1945, Stalin calls together writers of science fiction in order to ...' Loved that one, too.

Eveleen wrote 939 days ago

Balkanized at Sunrise
The Serbs, the Croats, the Muslims, it's very actual writing
Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

Vanessa Darnleigh wrote 939 days ago

Good fun indeed...I think you could have done more with (!) the ex-porn starlette during the barbecue!
Backed
Stewart

yasmin esack wrote 940 days ago

You are a masterful writer! You know how to connect to the reader and keep the reader gasping for the next page. This has a beyond fascinating theme and you are definitely ahead of the writers' pack,

Great job and congratulations

Backed
the mind setter

zenup wrote 940 days ago

What fun. Backed. Have you ever read Yellow Blue Tibia, by Adam Roberts? ... 'in 1945, Stalin calls together writers of science fiction in order to ...' Loved that one, too.

joetrip wrote 940 days ago

and 100% guaranteed true.

This is excellent writing and an intriguing read - amazing it is non-fiction! Backed 100%

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

lizjrnm wrote 940 days ago

This is excellent writing and an intriguing read - amazing it is non-fiction! Backed 100%

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

joetrip wrote 940 days ago

Thank you, K.Z. Hope you like it well enough to get the ebook or paperback. Check out my site: joetrip.com

A lot happens in just a few chapters, fluid read, I have to admit I flipped the pages later to see what saying you chose at the start of every chapter, some were very funny. I wanted to know what will happen next.

what really drew me to the book was that I live next to the Croatian border and have heard a lot about Tuđman, wanted to see what you wrote in ^^

fun read

K.Z. Freeman wrote 940 days ago

A lot happens in just a few chapters, fluid read, I have to admit I flipped the pages later to see what saying you chose at the start of every chapter, some were very funny. I wanted to know what will happen next.

what really drew me to the book was that I live next to the Croatian border and have heard a lot about Tuđman, wanted to see what you wrote in ^^

fun read

joetrip wrote 940 days ago

Thanks very much, Andrew.

Your true story is well written, funny and engaging. You got very lucky with that pick-up line working. Well done. Your smooth flowing writing style coupled with your first person narrative voice is perfect for this genre. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Andrew Burans wrote 940 days ago

Your true story is well written, funny and engaging. You got very lucky with that pick-up line working. Well done. Your smooth flowing writing style coupled with your first person narrative voice is perfect for this genre. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

SusieGulick wrote 940 days ago

:) comment to follow - read & commented on 1 day later :)

joetrip wrote 940 days ago

Patrick, It's a story that is all true, but somehow still feels like someone else's life.

This is a sneaky read. Bosnia has always seemed over complicated to me but you have enticed me in and thoroughly hooked me. The subleties are the key and you are the master of them. I f anyone can "Unravel the Balkan onion" it is you. Patrick Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

joetrip wrote 940 days ago

Thank you, Dan. My first day here, but will do.

Started reading but had to stop. Will come back to read some more as I’m sure I will enjoy it (I’m from the Balkans). Backing it for now, on strength of your voice.
Dan
PS. Please check mine…comment/backing will be appreciated.

joetrip wrote 940 days ago

She did, and still does -- but shall remain nameless...

cute, blonde, great laugh, AND a formal adult film star? wow... this girl has it all. lol


bb

joetrip wrote 940 days ago

Thanks, Jake. Much appreciated.

A very enticing pitch led me into the book and certainly didn't disappoint. A fascinating story, very well presented with lashings of humour. Very readable. Backed with pleasure.
Jake.

Jake Barton wrote 940 days ago

A very enticing pitch led me into the book and certainly didn't disappoint. A fascinating story, very well presented with lashings of humour. Very readable. Backed with pleasure.
Jake.

blueboy wrote 940 days ago

cute, blonde, great laugh, AND a former adult film star? wow... this girl has it all. lol


bb

eurodan49 wrote 940 days ago

Started reading but had to stop. Will come back to read some more as I’m sure I will enjoy it (I’m from the Balkans). Backing it for now, on strength of your voice.
Dan
PS. Please check mine…comment/backing will be appreciated.

PATRICK BARRETT wrote 940 days ago

This is a sneaky read. Bosnia has always seemed over complicated to me but you have enticed me in and thoroughly hooked me. The subleties are the key and you are the master of them. I f anyone can "Unravel the Balkan onion" it is you. Patrick Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

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