Book Jacket

 

rank 5001
word count 13761
date submitted 26.10.2010
date updated 03.11.2010
genres: Non-fiction, History, Harper True L...
classification: moderate
incomplete

Balkanized at Sunrise

Joe Tripician

The true and hilarious story of how a science-fiction author was hired to keep Croatia's president from a war crimes indictment.

 

In the immediate aftermath of the bloody Balkan wars of the 90s, a penniless science-fiction author was hired to write the official biography of Croatia's President, Franjo Tudjman.

In an effort to keep Tudjman out of the War Crimes Tribunal in The Hague, the Croatian government hired Joe Tripician, the author of "The Official Alien Abductee's Handbook", to pen a state-sanctioned biography for US consumption. The biography, far from a whitewashed piece of propaganda, became a darkly comic and sadly tragic tale of deception, danger, death and desire, where guilt abounds, but responsibility remains elusive.

"Balkanized at Sunrise" is the true story of how Joe navigated between toadying government aides, lying politicians, harassed dissident journalists, and Croatian and Bosnian women looking for a quick visa. It's a fascinating memoir of political, moral, and sexual proportions.

Available in paperback from Lulu.com
and in digital format from: Amazon Kindle, Barnes & Noble, Sony, Kobo, Diesel, Scribd, and Smashwords.

 
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tags

balkan war, balkans, banned book, bosnia war, censorship, croatia, dark tourism, espionage, former yugoslavia, franjo tudjman, history, humor, interna...

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40 comments

 

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Back to School

CHAPTER THREE

“Back to School”

 

 

“Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.” Confucius

 

“What is your name again?  I never heard of you.  Are you with the university?”  Yale professor Ivo Banac is widely known as a leading Croatian historian, and part-time politician.  After I hire George, I reach out to the notoriously prickly professor by phone for another point of view.

“No, Professor, I’m a commercial author looking to hire a researcher for my book about Tudjman.  Would you be interested in the assignment?”

“Are you a historian?”

“I've done some research—”

“Do you speak Croatian?”

“Well, I’ve picked up a few phrases—”

“Have you ever been to Croatia?”

“Ah—No, but— I’m going there next week.”

“What kind of book is this going to be?  Because you sound like a dilettante with no idea of the history of the Balkans, let alone the regional, ethnic, and cultural variances.  Who is publishing this so-called book?”

“HarperCollins.”

“Who is your editor?”

“I’m working with Jakov Sedlar – at the Croatian consulate.”

His voice crackles through the phone.  “Sedlar?  That rank propagandist?” 

“Oh, you know Jakov?”  I try to counter his obduracy with headstrong cheeriness.

“I don’t know who you are, but you are miserably unqualified to write any book on the Balkans.  And if Mr. Sedlar is in any way involved with this amateur undertaking, this book will most certainly be a total embarrassment and you will become an international laughingstock.”  He hangs up with no cheeriness at all.

 

There, that was the encouragement I was looking for.

 

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boskolon wrote 252 days ago

A hilarious story well told. I bought three copies to give to friends before I found it here.
Many stars.
b.

Kaimaparamban wrote 887 days ago

Balkan atmosphere, whether it may be politics or not is will be an interesting treat for readers. For some years news from this place is disturbing world. If you make a genuine approachment to the theme, it will be a good creation.

Joy J. Kaimaparamban
The Wildfire

Light Between Shadows wrote 912 days ago

This was an entertaining and enlightening read, especially because I am familiar with the place and players. Bought and read your book -- and would have ended it in a different place -- not with the letters, etc. keeping those as footnotes. Also suggest, if you are thinking that you might want to find a publisher for this, that you tell us more of your story because you come across as an appealing character - wise guy but self-deprecating in a nice way. Also because don't you find that the general population is not overly interested in that fascinating, strange part of the world? Best of luck to you and hope you read and comment on my own Balkan-tale.
Best,
Tricia

Balepy wrote 913 days ago

Joe - Balcanized at Sunrise is an absolute hoot! Great writing, funny and all the more so as it is true - backed with enthusiasm by Balepy (Freckles the Fawn)

briantodd wrote 916 days ago

Dear Joe

This is a fascinating and entertaining read. You start off like an updated Raymond Chandler character and the reader knows in seconds that this book is going to be as good as the enticing pitch sounds. You really have a great story to tell here and I guess only the ten years plus since the events you portray allows you to tell it now. Any subject, even ethnic cleansing and other activities of war criminals, can be treated with humour, but an author has to be careful to avoid veering off the fine line required into bad taste and you manage this hazard well. You deploy an evenhanded approach in your portayal of the conflict. I enjoyed most the phone calls and interviews and project arrangement shenanigans with your cast of characters as you embark on this mission. Getting these witnesses to take you (and the reader) through the most important events and questions to do with the complicated matter of balkan history and the most recent ethnic and religious conflict is well handled. I was worried about the amount of information you put in that first chapter. It is considered, balanced and informative but in the wrong place there. It stands uneasily against your admission that you barely knew what you were letting yourself in for and only got involved because you were broke. However your honesty shines through and I particularly liked the line about feeling like a blundering american from a Graham Greene novel as well as Prof. Ivos summary of you as 'miserably unqualified to write a book about the balkans'. You leave us still delving into the murky and complex recent past of the main participants in Zagreb. You are about to meet your personal 'deep throat' the 'priest'. I'll be eavesdropping on what he has got to say. I feel already that I know more about the last two decades of this tragedy than I learned from everything else I have ever read on the subject. I hope you continue to tell it as well and that you show that you managed to follow the advice of that old Yukoslav proverb you so aptly quote 'Tell the truth and run.'

regards

Brian

Andy M. Potter wrote 921 days ago

Joe, immediately engaging. i'm hooked: politics, adventure, blondes, wry humour ;)
what i really like, though, is the writing itself. strong narrative voice. no quibbles, and i usually have a few picky comments.
starred and on my shelf.
best, andy

Sandra Davidson wrote 930 days ago

Joe,
I thoroughly enjoyed and backed your book. It's always a nice surprize to start reading a new book and find that the writing is good, the voice fresh, and the story a nice easy, breezy read. I will go back and finish reading it now.
Sandra Davidson - COLD MOON RISING - now a kindle book with new title - BORROWED TROUBLE and THE CRYING MADONNA newly uploaded to authonomy

Edward E G wrote 931 days ago

Your narration has a sort of "Kid stays in the Picture," feel. My only thought would be to involve more of you're senses (smell,taste etc.) to drraw the reader in. Backed

name falied moderation wrote 933 days ago

Dear Joe
I truly wish you the best of luck with this book of yours. I have not read it all will do so. Just wanted to give you the encouragement....I will rate it when I find out more about this new system

Denise
The Letter

joetrip wrote 933 days ago

Thanks, Missy. I appreciate your comments.

I've really enjoyed this book! You've got a great writing style. All the elements are here for an enjoyable read.I had to go back and check a couple times to see if this were really and truly non-fiction because it read like a thriller. That is hard to do! I don't know much about that part of the world, and haven't read much either so this entertained me in a couple different ways. I think your strength is dialogue, it's nice and natural and reads easily.

Love the first Groucho Marx quote!

I've made it to chatper 4 and will finish what you have posted. This has been sitting on my watchlist for a couple days. I might not have room for you on my shelf but I will someday! Nice job with this and good luck.

Missy
Mark of Eternity

missyfleming_22 wrote 933 days ago

I've really enjoyed this book! You've got a great writing style. All the elements are here for an enjoyable read.I had to go back and check a couple times to see if this were really and truly non-fiction because it read like a thriller. That is hard to do! I don't know much about that part of the world, and haven't read much either so this entertained me in a couple different ways. I think your strength is dialogue, it's nice and natural and reads easily.

Love the first Groucho Marx quote!

I've made it to chatper 4 and will finish what you have posted. This has been sitting on my watchlist for a couple days. I might not have room for you on my shelf but I will someday! Nice job with this and good luck.

Missy
Mark of Eternity

joetrip wrote 933 days ago

I've gone the self-pub route on this one. The paperback is available on Lulu.com, the ebook is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Sony, Smashwords, Kobo, Diesel & Scribd. More info at joetrip.com


Ebook

What an amazing story, Joe. Written with great clarity and humour - I just wonder why this is on Authonomy and not blasting its way through the publication process. Shelved.

Keefieboy wrote 933 days ago

What an amazing story, Joe. Written with great clarity and humour - I just wonder why this is on Authonomy and not blasting its way through the publication process. Shelved.

Gefordson wrote 934 days ago

I think this book has huge potential. There are so many things to like about it. The dialogue is great - reminded me a bit of 'Kiss, kiss, bang,bang', that kind of smart one liner come back, combined with hard boiled men in a hard boiled world.
I don't mind the scene shifting - my one concern is the tone shifting. When you introduce Jakov (very Simpsons) - the short bit of exposition beginning 'Jakov Stedlar was then ..' - there's a feeling of the gears grating. You're such a good writer I think this could have been handled with your usual deft touch.
Good luck with this. Should be a real winner.
Gefordson
Nothing you can do.

vivalasbradleys wrote 934 days ago

This is quite well done. I especially dig on the dialog -- why is it real dialog is always better than fictional? -- and the fact it's a true story that reads like a novel. I've read two chapters and plan on more.

A few typos here and there (watch your punctuation). Also, in the first chapter you mention “Jakov’s massive frame is larger than his toothy smile…” You may want to rewrite that as most peoples’ frames are larger than their smiles. I know what you were getting at but perhaps you might want to re-word that.

Anyway, nicely done.

Lenore wrote 934 days ago

On my real shelf at home, I am currently reading Geraldine Brooks' "People of the Book" about the former Yugoslavia, so I considered it serendipity to find your book. I'm fascinated with the stories behind the headlines and was hooked to your story within the first chapter, not only because of what happened but also because, as a former journalist, I enjoyed the challenge to maintain ethical standards but also pay the bills. I admit wondering why you made use of all those divisions and assumed you found it useful rather than find segues. Such a fascinating story. Thank you.
Lenore
Surviving the Seaweed

SusieGulick wrote 935 days ago

Dear Joe, I love that you got inside his head to find the truth :) - forgot what chapter that was in. :) Your pitch is amazing that it's true & that there really was a coverup of theevil of the past president in Crotia :) - amazing! :) Totally amazing!! :) KInda scary, though. :) I'd sure not want to have your job. :) I've backed your book :) - could you please take just a moment to back my memoirs book? :) Thank you so very much :) - I'm 19 away from the editor's desk & every backing moves me closer. :) Love, Susie :)

"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved," quote from authonomy. :)

fh wrote 935 days ago

BALKANIZED AT SUNRISE
This is a surprise. Humourous and full of action - not what I expected at all. A good sound and well worthy read.
Faith
The Assassins Village

joetrip wrote 935 days ago

Stewart,
I did do more with her -- just not on the page ;)

Good fun indeed...I think you could have done more with (!) the ex-porn starlette during the barbecue!
Backed
Stewart

joetrip wrote 935 days ago

Yasmin, you are too kind. Many thanks.

You are a masterful writer! You know how to connect to the reader and keep the reader gasping for the next page. This has a beyond fascinating theme and you are definitely ahead of the writers' pack,

Great job and congratulations

Backed
the mind setter

joetrip wrote 935 days ago

Thanks. I will check it out.

What fun. Backed. Have you ever read Yellow Blue Tibia, by Adam Roberts? ... 'in 1945, Stalin calls together writers of science fiction in order to ...' Loved that one, too.

Eveleen wrote 935 days ago

Balkanized at Sunrise
The Serbs, the Croats, the Muslims, it's very actual writing
Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

Vanessa Darnleigh wrote 936 days ago

Good fun indeed...I think you could have done more with (!) the ex-porn starlette during the barbecue!
Backed
Stewart

yasmin esack wrote 936 days ago

You are a masterful writer! You know how to connect to the reader and keep the reader gasping for the next page. This has a beyond fascinating theme and you are definitely ahead of the writers' pack,

Great job and congratulations

Backed
the mind setter

zenup wrote 936 days ago

What fun. Backed. Have you ever read Yellow Blue Tibia, by Adam Roberts? ... 'in 1945, Stalin calls together writers of science fiction in order to ...' Loved that one, too.

joetrip wrote 936 days ago

and 100% guaranteed true.

This is excellent writing and an intriguing read - amazing it is non-fiction! Backed 100%

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

lizjrnm wrote 936 days ago

This is excellent writing and an intriguing read - amazing it is non-fiction! Backed 100%

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

joetrip wrote 936 days ago

Thank you, K.Z. Hope you like it well enough to get the ebook or paperback. Check out my site: joetrip.com

A lot happens in just a few chapters, fluid read, I have to admit I flipped the pages later to see what saying you chose at the start of every chapter, some were very funny. I wanted to know what will happen next.

what really drew me to the book was that I live next to the Croatian border and have heard a lot about Tuđman, wanted to see what you wrote in ^^

fun read

K.Z. Freeman wrote 936 days ago

A lot happens in just a few chapters, fluid read, I have to admit I flipped the pages later to see what saying you chose at the start of every chapter, some were very funny. I wanted to know what will happen next.

what really drew me to the book was that I live next to the Croatian border and have heard a lot about Tuđman, wanted to see what you wrote in ^^

fun read

joetrip wrote 936 days ago

Thanks very much, Andrew.

Your true story is well written, funny and engaging. You got very lucky with that pick-up line working. Well done. Your smooth flowing writing style coupled with your first person narrative voice is perfect for this genre. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Andrew Burans wrote 936 days ago

Your true story is well written, funny and engaging. You got very lucky with that pick-up line working. Well done. Your smooth flowing writing style coupled with your first person narrative voice is perfect for this genre. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

SusieGulick wrote 936 days ago

:) comment to follow - read & commented on 1 day later :)

joetrip wrote 936 days ago

Patrick, It's a story that is all true, but somehow still feels like someone else's life.

This is a sneaky read. Bosnia has always seemed over complicated to me but you have enticed me in and thoroughly hooked me. The subleties are the key and you are the master of them. I f anyone can "Unravel the Balkan onion" it is you. Patrick Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

joetrip wrote 936 days ago

Thank you, Dan. My first day here, but will do.

Started reading but had to stop. Will come back to read some more as I’m sure I will enjoy it (I’m from the Balkans). Backing it for now, on strength of your voice.
Dan
PS. Please check mine…comment/backing will be appreciated.

joetrip wrote 936 days ago

She did, and still does -- but shall remain nameless...

cute, blonde, great laugh, AND a formal adult film star? wow... this girl has it all. lol


bb

joetrip wrote 936 days ago

Thanks, Jake. Much appreciated.

A very enticing pitch led me into the book and certainly didn't disappoint. A fascinating story, very well presented with lashings of humour. Very readable. Backed with pleasure.
Jake.

Jake Barton wrote 936 days ago

A very enticing pitch led me into the book and certainly didn't disappoint. A fascinating story, very well presented with lashings of humour. Very readable. Backed with pleasure.
Jake.

blueboy wrote 936 days ago

cute, blonde, great laugh, AND a former adult film star? wow... this girl has it all. lol


bb

eurodan49 wrote 936 days ago

Started reading but had to stop. Will come back to read some more as I’m sure I will enjoy it (I’m from the Balkans). Backing it for now, on strength of your voice.
Dan
PS. Please check mine…comment/backing will be appreciated.

PATRICK BARRETT wrote 936 days ago

This is a sneaky read. Bosnia has always seemed over complicated to me but you have enticed me in and thoroughly hooked me. The subleties are the key and you are the master of them. I f anyone can "Unravel the Balkan onion" it is you. Patrick Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

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