Healer's Journey (part one - Chelden Var)

I loved everything about this book! wow! you've really got a voice and a wonderfully unique style of writeing!! :)keep up th awsomeness!! ;)

I enjoyed the two chapters I read. However, I do have a preferential problem with the first person pronoun as you tell your story. There is a place for first person, but I can eventually cause the story to bog down in my opinion. It takes on a form of a biography rather than a fictional tale. Overall though, good story. I wish you the best of luck in your future writing. I would appreciate your support and comments of December Gold.

There is something very intriguing about this and if I was to put my figure on it the almost seesaw effect you have in your writing. Everything’s normal but it’s not. Normal girl is suddenly (what feels mature) confident in an alternate world. There is a lot going on here, I feel there is more around the symbolism and storyline that first meet the eye. When I have time I will come back and do this more justice, sorry I can’t be more constructive. – Good luck

Greta attractive cover, solid pitch that sells the story and writing that puts you in the characters heads and makes you run with them on their jorurney.

Healer's Journey (part one - Chelden Var)
Chris Kaye

Chris,
Backed a few days ago an donly just had the time to read some of this. Very, very nice cover. Pitches were entertaining - "How does it change you: becoming part of a different world, acquiring new talents? How do you cope?" This sounds like a reference to Authonomy - and I think I have acquired new talents - being able to roughly assess pitches and, emerging talents for book reviews!! Sorry for going off tangent - I am enjoying your book very much. Re long pitch - Natalie want to know "Am I with freinds?" and "Where's the nearest bar?" - universal questions, but wondered whether this latter Q is suitable for your target YA audience?? Natalie wasn't quite sure whether she could call it a nightmare or not - again, a question targeting authonomists - is this a nightmare, or not? I love how you write - seems to me this is better tagged for a general audience than YA as I find it nice interpretative writing - mature, highly entertaining, as well as symbolic. I really want to return to read more - really an interesting and provocative start - "My dress is green. The sun is warm. Suddenly I feel very scared." Brilliant end to your opening. Rich indeed and I hope this goes far. No problem backing it.

Coming of age...fluffy girl to woman healer...what an adventure! This book will appeal to most young women. Very nice cover art too. BACKED -Elizabeth Wolfe (Memories of Glory)

Hi Chris, I really enjoyed the way that you presented the fantasy world, not being fooled by a dream but being disturbed by it. And the common idea that you can’t function normally in a dream. The conversation with Colin and his subsequent disappearance along with the next dream is quite fascinating! The narrator voice is also very engaging. A pleasure to shelve – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Thank you so much for the very kind comment. I set off, from the initial concept, to make this book challenging for me. I wanted to explore the character(s) rather than the event(s), and I liked the idea of having a much stronger female prescence than you find in most fantasy. If Alya (and others) work as 'women', it has more to do with the accuracy and believability of their character portrayal, than their gender.
I am trying hard to stay away from the 'mutual backslapping' nature of Authonomy, however I will look at Mark of Eternity very soon, and I look forward to being able to make positive comment on your own masterpiece. I like the pitch: whilst it has some familiar elements, it also hints (again) at something different from the normal.
Will keep in touch. Love and blesings, Chris

Wow, I really have liked what I've been able to read of this. It's nicely written and very interesting. I love that you stray from the usual fantasy books and do something completely different, it works so well. I think you've got a wonderful voice and a great imagination. Keep up the good work, this is going to work perfectly as a series.

Missy
Mark of Eternity

Wow, I really have liked what I've been able to read of this. It's nicely written and very interesting. I love that you stray from the usual fantasy books and do something completely different, it works so well. I think you've got a wonderful voice and a great imagination. Keep up the good work, this is going to work perfectly as a series.

Missy
Mark of Eternity

Hi Chris, this is a well-written and original piece of work. Natalie is such a strong character. How the mind moves.

I had a go at your rather confusing pitch. Ignore as you like, of course. I hope it's useful.

Backed with best wishes,

Barry
Little Krisna and th Bihar Boys

How does becoming part of a different world and acquiring new talents change you? How do you cope?


Look, It's just your everyday fantasy. Girl has dream and ends up in dream world, meets new friends and enemies ... Ho hum.

What's important though? Events happen. Some good, some bad.

What does our reluctant heroine think about it all? How does she change from a 'fluffy' girl, into a confident woman healer? How does she cope?

Natalie has humour, courage, and curiousity ... and she learns. She doesn't care if the dragon prefers white gold to yellow gold, for after all, there are no dragons in her new world. She just wants it to stop chasing her.

From the lightweight Part 1 (Chelden Var), through to the darker Part 3 (Elhorn Kerris), she learns about herself, and discovers new strengths within.

The story centres around the new healer, but this is merely the background to her thoughts, observations and the experiences of the other characters.

I admire the writers that can sketch, in half a page, the complete colour, taste and smell of a strange city. Natalie just wants to know, "Am I with friends?" and probably, "Where's the nearest bar?".

HEALER’S JOURNEY
This is a good book. As the pitch says, unlike the usual fantasy story where a gal wakes up, realizes she’s in an alternative world but doesn’t seem to mind, Natalie is too spunky for that. She wants to know what’s going on. I think you’ll find a wide audience for this among fantasy readers because of her attitude. It makes this an interesting read. I’m adding it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Hi Chris,

If I have given you my backing I have read the pitch, loved it and then at least two chapters of your very fine work.

Then, if you do not help me with my Psychiatric Evaluation it will be partly your fault that I am stressed out and can no longer spend time on this site.

Lots of writers may than suffer breakdowns because of this!!!
RB

hi Chris. I have to be honest, I got rather confused by your pitch. I wanted the story and more details about Natalie. It seemed rather dense and I had to read it twice just to see what your book was really about. Of course, I am rather dense myself so ignore me if you don't agree. Ironically, I found your prose very readable indeed and I would say perfectly pitched to your target audience. Some are going to moan about the jump from third person to first person, but what are rules for if not to be broken. You have a very good story here.
Carl
the Time Hunters

Welcome aboard, Chris. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. I'm a bit of a pitch doctor, having read thousands of pitches in my time on this website, so I want to share my insight here with you. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. The short pitch works. For the long pitch, instead of several questions, end it with one succinct question to pique your casual reader's interest. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year and have the most commented book, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Dear Chris, I love your fantasy - & am glad I'm not there - my tragic situation is bad enough as you'll see in my memoir. Great adventure, your story. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch,which was very well done. :) Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book: When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy. :) Please "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)

Vivid imagery has me baffled as to why this book is ranked so low. Your writing is smooth and flows wonderfully. A book with lots of questions to answer to keep the reader's attention piqued at all times.

Happily shelved
Melxx

Very stimulating and thrilling read. The start up is exceptional and keeps the reader wanting more. very well written and fantastic descriptions. But more than that a lot of readers will identify with this story as it is one that is very in the air. Deams always fascinate as does this tale.

Backed

Why has this not moved? The opening is electric, alive with imagery and weaved into a direct prose. backed with pleasure.

Hi Chris,

Our dreams are our personal conversation with out Higher Self, very interesting book and subject, wish you all the best and will put you on my bookshelf, love & light, Mia x

hi i have read the first 2 chapters..or the introduction and first chapter really...a little different to anything i have read but am sure am going like it..will read some more later and give you a little more on what i think of it.

jose xxxxxxx

I've read the frist three chapters so far amd thoroughly enjoyed them. My criticisms would be that chapter one isnt long enough and I need a little more explanation in the build up to chapter four.
I'm going to read the rest tomorrow.
I like the Colin/Chelden character the best, he's growing on me big time.

Ju x