This is the dysfunctional premature baby I birthed the years following my suicide attempt. Waking up in to a life that just got harder.
This act not only changed my life and the lives of those around me but forced me to come face to face with a mental illness I had for decades and never treated.
The night I took 120 sleeping pills I felt alone and after surviving I felt ashamed. My story takes away the misconceptions of the act of suicide and becomes a story about trying to find yourself when you thought the worst thing that could happen to you was death.
Two years ago I thought I was done, that I had nothing else to write and then more real life shit kept happening. This preemie baby was suddenly no longer about the suicide attempt, it became a story about my father's Parkinson's diagnosis, my sister moving away, my inability to get a job after graduation, my father's job loss. Helping a parent cope with Parkinson's is not as easy as Michael J Fox makes it look. What started out at as an outlet to help me cope with the aftermath of my attempt became a book I know will help others cope. You will just have to read the chapter's I have submitted below to see for yourself.