Book Jacket

 

rank 2671
word count 119149
date submitted 08.11.2010
date updated 08.11.2010
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Fantasy, Young A...
classification: universal
complete

FALLEN ANGELS

Candace Isenhwoer

Orphans, reaching 18, manifest powers and discover they are the last remnant of the Legacy of Fallen Angels created at the beginning of time.

 

Six orphans, reaching the age of eighteen, begin to manifest powers and discover they are the last remnant of the Legacy of Fallen Angels created at the beginning of time. With the world on the brink of Armaggedon, and their lives on the line, they must navigate a supernatural world of underground cities, fight against Legions of Black Angels, battle armies of Demons of Shadow, join forces with vampires, and eventually save the world. In the midst of the darkness, they find that light still shines, love is still possible, and dreams can mean everything.

 
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tags

adventure, angels, antichrist, armaggedon, battles, darkness, demons, dreams, evil, fallen angels, fantasy, good, horror, light, love, love triangle, ...

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Chapters

16

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Chapter Fifteen

 

 

“We’ll take my car. It goes faster,” David said. The hotel doors slid open and a burst of hot air flowed over my face.

     “Maybe we should take two cars.” I hesitated and came to a stand-still.

    David halted. “Shayne, we stick together from here on out. Understand? And we’re taking my car. Trust me.”

    I glanced at my Audi, biting my lower lip. Wow. I didn’t pay attention when I was parking. The car sat in its slot all crooked. I sighed, it was still beautiful. “Will I see my car again?”

    “No. But if you thought you were rich before…well, you have no idea how rich you are now. You can buy fifty more. Heck, I’ll buy you fifty cars if you’ll just get in mine so we can get out of here.” David was speaking quickly, he was almost demanding.

    I turned away, observing the setting sun. The moon was already glowing in the sky. A warm breeze kicked up and fluttered my hair. My heart started racing. “Okay. Where’s your car?”

    “Over there.” David pointed to the edge of the hotel parking lot.

    “What is that thing?” It looked like an alien car and it was very, very pretty. Shiny silver. Lots of curves.

    “An Aston Martin Vanquish. Now let’s go.” He grabbed my arm and tugged lightly. My feet felt sluggish as I followed behind him.

    David’s sports car was better than a limo. Way better. Suddenly, I wanted to climb inside it. I picked up my pace and when David popped the door open I ducked under his arm and crawled into the seat. It was pretty low to the ground. The interior was covered in rich red leather and smelled faintly of men’s cologne.

David traveled in style. And I could already tell he traveled pretty quickly. I shook myself. What was wrong with me? How could I be distracted by a car at a moment like this? David shut the door. The engine revved to life.

“Seat belt.” David nodded to the buckle at my side.

Before I buckled my belt, I pulled my mother’s letter and my parent’s photo out of my back pocket. I stuffed them under the seat with my money bible and then slapped my belt into place. “Okay. Ready.”

We drove in silence until the sun was well below the horizon and the sky was darkening to a deep navy. The highway we were traveling on had no street lights and outside the windows was a pitch black darkness that offered no relief from my jumble of thoughts. The car’s headlights cast a focused yellow glow on the road before us, revealing only a short stretch of oil-stained concrete and bright yellow and white lines that separated the traffic lanes.

I couldn’t bring myself to speak to David. I still had no idea what I would say. Here I was, driving with a stranger and I didn’t even know where we were going. I was frightened to talk to him because I was afraid of what he might tell me.

My hands twisted in my lap as I forced myself to keep breathing. I was eighteen. I was an adult. I should be in control, but I had never felt more like a child.

A chill ran up my back and David glanced at me before adjusting the air conditioning to its lowest level. I knew I should say thank you or at least acknowledge his attention to my discomfort, but I just couldn’t bring myself to respond.

“Are you ready to talk some more?” he asked, spraying the windshield with fluid and turning on the wipers to remove a splattered bug. His face tilted to peer at me and I shivered as I met his eyes.

I turned away immediately and looked out the window.

“So what’s your story anyway?” David kept his eyes focused on the road. “You know—your life story. What was it like growing up?”

“Well, it sucked,” I snapped.

“That bad?”

“Yeah—that bad.” 

David’s eyes flashed with understanding and then he turned his concentration back to the road. “What was it like living with Mrs. Jenkins?”

I sighed. “Actually, Mrs. Jenkins wasn’t that bad. She just wasn’t…warm.”

“What was high school like? I missed out on that one. I was…homeschooled.”

I rolled my eyes. “It was a nightmare. I don’t particularly wish to relive it.”

“Well, isn’t there anything you’ll miss?”

I rubbed my aching head. “There was one girl I was close to. Her name was Tara. She was only at the Jenkins farm for a little over a year before she turned eighteen. She wasn’t like the other foster kids. I mean, she was tough like the rest. But she wasn’t vicious or mean. She didn’t steal people’s stuff or pull nasty pranks. She was actually nice, even though she could easily whip the snot out of boys twice her size. Anyway, she was my friend.” My only friend. “After school, we’d go dumpster diving. We’d find all kinds of cool stuff like tabloid magazines, discarded make-up that wasn’t really empty. Sometimes, we’d find whole trash bags full of tossed out clothes. I always wondered why people didn’t donate them to Goodwill or something. But as long as they fit, we didn’t let them go to waste.”

My eyes flicked to David. I flinched. His mouth was ajar and his eyes were wide like I had just told him I came to this planet by way of Pluto. I gulped.

“Anyway…” I wondered if I should continue. Until this moment, I hadn’t realized how much I craved conversation with another human being. I didn’t realize how deep that craving went until I started talking to someone who actually wanted to listen. For some reason, every word that left my mouth made me feel like a bumbling idiot. I shrugged. Maybe I was out of practice. “So we hid everything in this…” Stolen. “…trunk that we buried in the cow pastures. And it was all ours.”

“Uh…but, did you have anything that was your own?”

“I had these three books no seemed to care about. At least, they never got stolen. Anything else I owned was always gone as soon as I got it…” Dang, these books were stolen, too. I started listing them off on my fingers. “Gone with the Wind.” Stolen from the library. “Pride and Prejudice.” Stolen from school. “And Piercing the Darkness…”

Oh crap. That one was stolen from a church. I winced.

And then I remembered what that book was about.

Whoa. My most favorite book of the three was about Angels and demons. How…strange. I wondered what David would think of me if I told him I was a thief. It’s not like it was a habit, but I already had three strikes against me. Doesn’t that make me a thief? Could you be expelled from being an Angel if you stole from a church?

“Tell me where we’re going.” I demanded, eager to switch subjects. I shifted in my seat, rigid against the door in order to provide the most possible space between us. The reality of my situation was freaking me out.

“There’s a separate world that exists here on Earth, below ground. We’re going to one of the underworld cities that our biggest allies call home.” David gave me a side-look. “Have you ever been to Natural Bridge Caverns outside San Antonio?”

I stared at him with raised eyebrows. His question caught me off guard. “No…Mrs. Jenkins didn’t have the money or the time to take us places, even if she wanted to, which I doubt she did. She was always saying that all of us kids were ungrateful swine and we didn’t deserve the food we ate…Did my parents ever go to this underground city?”

David ran a hand through his waves of brown hair and was about to respond, when the car swerved violently and the shape of a body appeared out of nowhere and smashed into the windshield where the bug had splattered only moments before. The tires started squealing and I shrieked as my body thrashed against the seat belt.

David let out a yell as he fought to control the vehicle, now threatening to settle into a tailspin. A loud ripple of noise signaled we had crossed traffic lanes and were teetering on the rough pavement of the far shoulder.

I grasped the door handle tightly with one hand. Even with a firm hold on the door, my body smacked into the hard covering before throwing itself into the dashboard as the car jerked in new movement. Through the windshield, I made out a set of boots that were attached to the black shape riding the glass in front of me.

A deep thump sounded as the front of the car indented and the black silhouette of a body wearing a pair of boots suddenly jumped from its position on the hood. Its motion was fluid and strong even as the vehicle yanked hard to the right. The heavy sounds of movement on the ceiling above me sent razors of adrenaline and fear through my soul. Someone was on the roof!

“What’s happening?!” I screamed.

Before David could answer me, my head slammed into the window beside me as the car found its center of gravity. Then David hit the brakes.

I flew forward, my seat belt cutting into my neck. Above me, the ceiling started to cave as something beat against it like thunder.

Whatever was on the windshield was now on the ceiling. This freak of nature was still present on the roof of the car despite the fact that my secured safety belt was barely holding me in place. My heart exploded in mind-blowing terror as I realized that whatever was on the roof was trying to get into the car!

Like rockets appearing in the black night, a set of motorcycles slid into my side view. I whipped my head around to gape out the window, wincing as the roof of the car hammered above my head.

There were four motorcycles flanking us, two on either side. The men crouched low on the bikes and wore no helmets. They showed no signs of worry as they rode beside a vehicle fighting to maintain control.

Hysteria overtook me and I started to hyperventilate.

David let off the brakes and slammed the accelerator as a ripping noise cut through the car. I managed to slide my eyes up towards the sound as the force of a quick acceleration pressed me back against the head rest, causing my head to bounce.

Above me, the ceiling was caving in, the fabric was ripped and giving way to the metal underneath, as it too began to tear apart. For a moment, the motorcycles slid behind us and out of view. David stepped hard on the gas as the engine whined and rumbled with strength.

I cut my terrified eyes to David. The veins in his neck jumped, his jaw was set like stone, and in his aqua blue eyes was a horror that was severely contagious.

He’s scared. Oh my god! He’s scared.

Thwack! 

Glass shot through the car as a baseball bat smashed through the back window sending a million shattered pieces flying at the back of my neck. I screeched.

I’m going to die.

Suddenly, a motorcycle was racing right beside my window. Its driver was completely composed as if he drove like this every day. The remaining three motorcycles began to position themselves around the back half of the car, until they surrounded the three rear sides.

“Shayne!” David screamed. “The glove compartment! Get the gun!

Before I could move, he jerked the wheel to the left, throwing me around the car like a child’s bouncy ball. Without bothering to see if the motorcycles survived David’s maneuver, I flung open the glove box and spotted the small black handle of the gun, partially buried beneath a pile of papers. I tried to steady myself and yank it out as the car jerked back and forth.

Gun in hand, I fumbled with the buttons that secured the spongy casement. I let out a yelp of frustration as I failed to unlatch the case and nearly lost my hold on the weapon.

A strong surge of light began to illuminate the car from behind, leaving the gun in darkness while everything else was lit up with blinding light. I turned around to see what was happening just as the ceiling emitted an ear-splitting sound that announced it was nearly compromised.

Behind us, four Hummer SUVs had joined the motorcycles. They began to swerve left and right as the motorcycles moved around evasively. Next to the small motor bikes, the Hummers were like giants eager to stomp on annoying little ants. Just as I realized the Hummers were working to remove the motorcycles and help us escape, I let out a shrill cry—a hand reached down to snatch my head and pull me into the air by my long blond hair.

Thump!

I was dizzy and numb. My scalp felt like it was pulling apart. The side of my head ached with a dull pain I couldn’t seem to register as my own. I forced myself to blink my eyes and focus, breaking through the shimmery blackness that was impairing my sight.

    Clear vision returning, I realized my head was nearly out of the car. The road was whizzing below me, the air cutting through my body, and the trees bordering the highway were solidifying into a blurry wall of blackened green. My right leg—stuck in the safety belt—was the only thing holding me inside. I looked up at the thick arm attached to my head and moved my gaze to the face above me. I started into neon red eyes.

    I screamed and screamed and screamed.

    My foot slipped loose of the seatbelt and quicker than time itself I was out of the car and in the hands of my attacker. A callous, jeering grin spread across his face. Pointy pearly white fangs protruded from his mouth.

    My lungs contracted, the forthcoming waves of screams were stifled. I felt my face drain of color; I could literally feel my blood as it rushed away.

    Out of the sky another black figure crashed onto the roof of the car. A flash of movement passed closed to my face. I squeezed my eyes shut against deathly fear, the sounds of dangerous speed surging around me. Something jerked me flat on the roof, slashing my cheek on the sharp edge of ripped metal. The cold fingers on my arm slackened and feeling rushed to my arm.

    My eyes popped wide to see a new attacker on the roof as he backhanded the one who snatched me from the car and sent him sprawling into the air. He disappeared from sight as he plummeted to the road below. A frosty hand slammed me back on my stomach; my chin shimmered with pain as it struck the roof. Stunned for a moment at the sight of death in action, I paused before facing the new threat holding me steady on top of the car.

    He too had red eyes and fangs. I struggled hard and for a moment I was nearly free. I tried to slip through the roof, amazed I was able to move at all while consumed by such freezing fear, but he was too quick and had me in his grasp before I could get my head below the roof line. In a whoosh, we were off the car and in the air. I steeled myself for death, waiting for the moment when I’d hit the concrete and shatter into a mush of guts and broken bones.

    The rush of air around me continued and I forced my eyes open and saw that we were flying. Behind us, five other dark figures moved through the sky, zooming toward us. Tiny dots of neon red appeared like headlights in the black shapes chasing our tail.

    I kicked and screamed and tried to break free from the rock solid hold of my enemy. In a moment of clarity I peered down and realized we were extremely high in the sky, higher than a ten story building. If I broke free, I would fall to my death.

    Death would be better, my mind offered.

    “Stop! Do not struggle! Or you will die!” A voice spoke into my ear.

    Instantly, I obeyed. I didn’t stop moving because he told me to. I stopped because the breath that touched my ear was ice cold.

    “Put me down!” I yelped, eager to reason my way back to the Earth.

    Butterflies beat their wings in a powerful symphony as a quick turn in the air sent us spiraling downwards. My stomach seemed to disappear completely. As we neared the tips of the trees lining the sides of the highway, my attacker adjusted his flight so that we were now gliding parallel to the ground.

    And like a bump on a rollercoaster ride, we were into the trees. My nails scratched at his leather jacket as I tried to stay latched to the man’s chest. I clamped my eyes shut as we wove through husky tree trunks moving faster than David’s sports car and the Hummers we had left behind.

    I felt a hard slap on my back and shrieked as we jerked up and rocketed towards the stars. We were moving too fast. My cheeks began to concave as the man holding me gained even more speed, unnatural speed.

    “Humph.” He sputtered, his icy breath startling me even in the midst of my terror.

    I glanced to the left. Another figure was flying right beside us, his red eyes bright and fearsome. His white fangs seemed to glow in the moonlight. He was holding a dagger carved from sharpened wood.

    I don’t want to die.

    Suddenly I felt the gun in my hand.

    Had I been holding the gun this entire time?

    The casement was gone in the wind. I found the safety lever on the side and flipped it up, fumbling the gun to secure position so I could point and shoot.

    Who should I shoot?

    It seemed easy enough to decide. I wasn’t going to shoot the person I needed to keep me alive. I aimed at the man with the dagger, and before I could give myself time to think, I fired. The bullet missed.

    The man holding me jerked his head around, his red eyes flashing ire.

    I waited, frozen.

    “Shoot him.” He spoke clearly into the torrent of wind.

    I leaned over the man’s shoulder, aimed at the figure closest to us, and fired. A loud pop crackled in the air. The smell of bitter gun powder inflamed my nose. The man with the dagger stopped cold in flight and disappeared from sight. Shocked, I looked to the man who was holding me. He smirked and picked up speed.

    “Please put me down,” I begged, hoping he somehow liked me, now that I had spared him an injury of some sort.

    “No,” he responded in a harrowing voice. “But we are about to descend. And you will be safe.”

    Descend? Oh god, oh god…

    We fell like we were jumping out of a plane without a parachute. Below us, I could see a black hole in the ground, surrounded by the tops of trees. As we moved closer to the earth another figure appeared. He swerved into our side, his elbow smashing my left temple.

    A potent pain bombarded me. Blackness clouded my vision. The sound of my heart beating was amplified in my head, filling my ears, pounding slower and slower. I felt as if I was fading and then I was lost to the world.

 

Chapters

16

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MadHatter wrote 1249 days ago

Really like the start that I have read, a little confusing in places but that might be just me! I like the way you are leaving things out and not telling the whole story straight away adds so much more to the suspense! I also like the way Shayne starts out, not privelliged or anything.
The cover is lovley as well, I like the way the angel isn't entirley easy to see.

Farrold Saxon wrote 1256 days ago

This is a long way from my preferred genres, but your writing style is original, concise and exciting. Even the prologue is engaging. Five stars from me.

Farrold Saxon (Where-Stand-All)

SusieGulick wrote 1257 days ago

You are totally fantastic, Candace! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my memoirs book? :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. I just looked to make sure that I had ****** 'd your book :) - could you please make sure you've ****** 'd mine, too? :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart, because I am 14 from the top of the editor's desk & every ****** 'ing & backing moves our books closer. :) Love, Susie :)

hillybilly wrote 1257 days ago

Hey Candace. So I read your book. All the way through...haha...doesn't happen often. I love the action scenes...the big car chase was awesome. I liked all your characters, especially Cash. I'm usually not into love triangles, but the Shayne-David-Phinn thing was sort of twisted and interesting. The end with the whole fourth of july on the lake battle it out...seriously, that should be in a movie. I can't believe the last line of the book. Best last line ever. Have you written the sequel yet? so cool. I'll back you and I give you ten thumbs up.

Aidan2002 wrote 1257 days ago

This shows promise,yet in its narration is missing something vital in creating a truly dark atmosphere. Showing more would put the reader more into the pages bringing out a more menacing feel. Also watch your choice of words. Black wings faded into being. Faded means dissapearing, try Shimmered. I hope this helps. In no way am I an expert so disregard my comments if you wish. Best of luck Aidan.

SusieGulick wrote 1258 days ago

Dear Candace, I love that as I read your pitch, I thought of, "we wrestle not against flesh & blood, but against principalities..." Eph. 6:12, & then, I read your verse before your prologue & it was the same one. :) I smiled ear to ear & told my husband, "right one!" :) Isn't Jesus amazing? :) I am so thankful that your book is complete because most on authonomy aren't & it's hard to comment on "incomplete" books, so I smiled again, when I saw "complete." And what an ending: "doomed." :) Lucien was an excellent name, too. :) I have read & commented on your book & put it on my watchlist to back when I get space on my bookshelf. :) I have also ****** 'd you book :) - could you please ****** & back my memoirs book? :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart, because every ****** 'ing & backing moves us closer to the editor's desk. :) Love, Susie :)

blueboy wrote 1258 days ago

You need a more active voice in your prologue. Writing it from the demon’s perspective would make it more sinister and impactful. Narrating it so completely, as you do, makes the whole affair a bit too melodramatic for true demonic-ness. lol and ultimately gives a rather detached feeling to the read.

Chapter one and two are rather interesting, and kept me reading--however, I noticed that you tend to use too many adjectives. Work on your intuition for what needs to be there to push your plot forward, and what does not. As I’m sure you know, a publisher will only give you so many words to tell your story in --don’t waste them on details that can be insinuated into the narrative. Write as economically as possible for flow and to save you count. For example, just say “I pushed the curtain back.”

“I lifted my left hand” does two things you should try to avoid. First, it dissects your scenes down. Try to think of your scenes more holistically. This will make the read less choppy and save on your word count. You should not dissect your scenes down to the mechanics of each individual body movement because this is going to prove way to tedious, and makes the read choppy. Say what the character is doing and let the reader imagine the moti0ns of the body. Don’t try to describe everything your character does. Also, this example shows details that are not needed: “left” is not needed here unless it is intrinsic to the plot. I other words, unless it is really going to be critical to the story later on that it was specifically the” left’ hand and not the “right” hand, then it really does not matter which hand the character used to move the curtain. See what I mean. A combination of unneeded details and dissecting your scenes can make for an awkward read if left to run amok. So be mindful of it. All and all, a very promising read. I loved you story, and the character building. Loved it, and I hope this feedback is helpful to you.

Please read some of my book then you have time and let me know what you think.


blueboy

SusieGulick wrote 1258 days ago

:) comment to follow - read & commented on 8 hours later :)

abipenfold wrote 1258 days ago

fallen angels,
this is very good. i have a feeling that this will go very far on this website. you've captivated me on the synopsis and chapter one so far, so i will have to read lots more when i get more time. backed with pleasure.
congrats,
abi

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