Book Jacket

 

rank 2345
word count 24631
date submitted 25.11.2010
date updated 03.04.2012
genres: Fiction, Horror, Biography, Religio...
classification: adult
incomplete

Book Of Trinity

A.J. Ryder

Poltergeist activity, demonic possession and an Anglican Exorcism that went horribly wrong ...

 

Taken from documentation written at the time, this novel - set between 1988 and 1993 - revolves around one woman’s struggle against poltergeist activity, demonic possession and ultimate Exorcism at her home in the small Buckinghamshire village of Slapton.

It is unknown how the demonic spirit came to be at the cottage, but its presence resulted in a battle ensuing between God and Satan as they waged war for souls.

Finding herself caught in the middle and desperate for salvation from the evil spirit and ghosts which resided with her, Joanna turned to the Church for help, only to discover that the Exorcist appointed for the task would be less than accommodating.
_________________________________________________

The following formats are now available to purchase at Amazon
and other outlets:
* Paperback (from £6.99 / $11.84)
* Kindle (from £1.14 / $ 1.90)
_________________________________________________

I have only put the first 10 chapters on here. There are 26 chapters (92k words) in total.

 
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tags

, 1990s, age, angels, christian, church, clairvoyant, demonic, demons, devil, dreams, evil, exorcism, exorcist, ghosts, god, haunting, new, paranormal...

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63 comments

 

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newwriter2010 wrote 1200 days ago

Absolutely brilliant, your account of true events in prose. Couldn't stop once I started and enjoyed it thoroughly all the way through. Your representation of the characters and the woman's struggle was superb. I have recommended the piece to some of my friends who enjoy a good horror story.

Good Luck

S.M. Koz wrote 278 days ago

OK, creepy! I can't believe Jo let her husband convince her to move in there! I love a good ghost story and this one hooked me with the first chapter.

I'm going to take a look at your book on Amazon!
Shannon (S.M. Koz)
Pangalax

BlazeEyes wrote 573 days ago

This is my kind of book, although I found it hard to keep up with the head-swapping. Perhaps you should stick with one character for the entire chapter and then move on. Personal preference, of course, I just found this hard to understand. It struck me like a script for TV series of sorts.
There are a few grammatical errors when you use speech:
"Hello again." The woman greeted him. This should be: "Hello, again," the woman greeted him. When using speech and then going on to say who said it, use a comma at the end of the speech, because although the sentense is finished for the character, it is not for the line. An exception would be: "Hello again." The woman waved in greeting. Because you have not directly said who said the line, but the second part makes it clear that it is the woman saying it.
I think I will continue with this novel and rate highly. Best of luck :)
If you could, I would very much like it if you could review my story and give me some feedback? Thanks :)

Blaze
"A Shifter's Tale"

David Olawoyin wrote 651 days ago

Can’t recall encountering a book like yours on Authonomy, or anywhere else for that matter, the closest that comes to mind being Peretti’s THE OATH. Nevertheless, it naturally brought memories of the movie THE EXORCIST. Your premise is a truly strong one and you pitch it quite well, albeit with room for improvement. Your book is a promising one and you write with the conviction of someone who has a story to tell. The areas I personally felt you might need to work on are punctuation, wordiness and prose, especially regarding sentence structure and overall composition. You can tighten and sharpen your prose by taking out some redundant phrases and restructuring some sentences. Let us consider a few instances. In your pitch, you write: “Taken from documentation written at the time, this novel - set between 1988 and 1993 - revolves around one woman’s struggle against poltergeist activity…” That’s a bit convoluted and I feel you could simplify and tighten it by writing something like: “Based on documentations between 1988 and 1993, this novel revolves around one woman’s struggle against poltergeist activity…” Again you say: “Finding herself caught in the middle and desperate for….” It might suffice to say: “Caught in the middle and desperate for salvation…” Coming to the book itself, you write: “Keeping with the flow of the crowd he ambled from store to store…” I might sharpen that by saying: “Flowing with the crowd, he ambled from store to store…” Notice also the comma inserted. You might also want to make sure that your paragraphs are transitionally consistent and seamlessly merge (you can let me know if you need an illustration). Moreover, I noticed that your book is tagged as both fiction and biography. I am not sure how well you can pull that off. I guess the note in your pitch would suffice for the true-life element of the story. I was caught in a similar dilemma when I attempted to similarly draw in science fiction readers to my non-fiction book, eventually settling for a word along that line in the overview. All said, your book is a promising one and I hope to be able to put it on my shelf here soon. Thanks for the offering, and for your continuous backing of THE EVOLUTION OF ETERNITY. Best wishes and blessings always.

Dianna Lanser wrote 748 days ago

A.J.

I just read through chapter six of Book of Trinity. I must say, it was really intriguing and a bit unnerving. When I was in college (years ago!) I read Amityville horror a true story about a haunted house. It creeped me out so much I had to stop reading. But the house had the same effect on it owner as it is having on Jon.

You are a very talented writer, unfolding the story just as it happens. The dream scenes are especially well-done - visually clear and detailed, evoking a lot of suspense and dread.

I was so caught up in the story that I forgot to look for things that I might offer as constructive criticism. Well, I didn’t see anything that was glaring. In fact, I thought what I read was very clean and smooth flowing.

I’m curious to see how the rose-quartz crystals will come into play. And I hope Jon and Joanna get out of the house before it tears their marriage apart. There are so many intricacies to this story that keep the reader moving forward to find the answers. You have done well to create a lot of intrigue and interest. Highly starred!

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

scargirl wrote 749 days ago

compelling...
j
what every woman should know

jlbwye wrote 768 days ago

Book of Trinity. Wow! That's certainly an attention-getting pitch. Sorry I've taken so long to get to you.
I take notes as I read, but dont pretend to be an expert. I tend to notice nits - hope you dont mind.

Ch.1. The first sentence of the second paragraph jars slightly. Perhaps deleting the phrase 'despite not knowing...' would improve the flow, and you could say he ambled aimlessly - or something like that?
You start two consequent paragraphs with 'As' (and it's not usually a good idea to start with a preposition anyway).
There are certain unnecessary words, which impede the flow of your story: suddenly, also, certainly, slightly, just, also, began to.
Dont you mean Jon smiled tiredly back at the man?
You certainly know how to develope a plot and create suspense. I am getting more drawn into your story, despite the nits.
If you search and examined all your adverbs (the -ly words) I'm sure you'll find many you could safely delete, thereby actually strengthening the meaning you wish to convey. Such as 'She felt drained by the visit and the atmosphere of the place made her feel uneasy.'

Ch.2. You say 'she could not help but think' tywice in one paragraph! (Where Joanna reamined silent).
Perhaps you are labouring the point a bit, about her misgivings? You've already described them well enough.
That's one weird dream.

Ch.3. You've created the cummy atmosphere around Pete well.
And your description of Paul's drive through the countryside is well done. I've not been to that part of the world, but found myself taking in every detail.

Ch.4. That's a surprise turn around for Jon.
Just one more chapter...

Ch.5. And Wow! That dream again..

This is an enthralling story. Perhaps I have an affinity to horror, after all. You have a fair amount of editing to do, but we all have to do it, and it will be worth it in the end.

Thankyou for your support of mine.
Jane (Breath of Africa).

Bill Carrigan wrote 785 days ago

Alex, our mutual admiration of PASCUAL'S BIRTHDAY led me to your own novel, and I've read five chapters with fascination. Your character drawing, particularly of impressionable Joanna, leads seamlessly into supernatural realms and haunting incidents, be they real or phantoms of her imagination. I haven't read anything so disturbing in this genre since Henry James's TURN OF THE SCREW. I'll try to finish the chapters you've shown in a few days.

Meanwhile, I invite you to read a few chapters of my novel THE DOCTOR OF SUMMITVILLE. While this edgy love story is straight realism, I feel that you'll appreciate what I've tried to do. My heroine, a vulnerable, non-English-speaking orphan girl, is in bondage to her abusive uncle; and a young doctor, just starting his practice in a small town, risks his life and career to free her. Your comments, and of course your support if you truly like the work, would be deeply appreciated. --Best of luck with BOOK OF TRINITY, Bill

Wanttobeawriter wrote 811 days ago

BOOK OF TRINITY
This is an interesting story. I liked the way you began with Paul admiring the crystal. When the seller says he’s sure to need it in the future, it introduces an ominous tone to this. That’s repeated nicely when Joanna feels the bad vibs in the house. I was surprised she didn’t oppose buying the house more; maybe have some particular reason she had to move to Stapton; otherwise I’m not sure she’d buy a house that had such a bad feeling about it. Either way, this is a good read. I’m adding it to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

ScottTrimas wrote 820 days ago

Wow, what a great plot! It sound like a very interesting book. I can't wait to read it
Thanks,
Scott

A G Chaudhuri wrote 864 days ago

Dear Alex,

Here’s what I think of ‘Book of Trinity’.

It’s obviously a fictionalised account of true events. I can see that the book has been classified as both Fiction and Harper True Life. If I were you, I’d stick with just Fiction. That would ease a lot of my problems as far as creative liberty is concerned, and also make things easier for the reader. While the short pitch is fine, you can lay out a nice and hard-hitting teaser in the long pitch and just add ‘Inspired by a true story’ at the end. That would suffice. Additionally, you can start off with an author’s note containing in brief the real life experiences that the novel is based on.

I’ve read the first three chapters and believe that you’ve quite effectively set the stage for the horror and mayhem that is to follow. The characters are real, dialogue is authentic and you’ve handled the multiple POVs really well. Apart from a few typos and misspellings, I could find no other errors worth pointing out. The writing flows at a beautiful pace and is quite easy to follow. The sinister aura of gloom and doom is quite reminiscent of other classic works in this genre. With a little more dramatisation, the appeal of this story would improve immensely. Well done, 6 stars.

Best regards,
AGC

Pete A wrote 891 days ago

Book Of Trinity

Short pitch: little unsure about this. Whilst it says what sorts of things to expect it’s not focussed exactly. Do you agree? Is there a victim? Who or what IS the focus of the tale?

Long pitch: Is it a novel? If it is it’s not ‘taken from documentation,’ or it would be some sort of biography or historical report. You sometimes see, often in the blurb on films, ‘Based on a true story.’ Maybe this is what you could say. It gives you free rein to ‘interpret’ events any way you need in order to give the book an appropriate structure. It’s important because otherwise nobody will know how to market it. The final of these three paragraphs is the best. I would rewrite this pitch, using that para as the basis, ramp it up a little.

Main text: Right off we get that ‘reporting’ style that a reader expects from a documentary account. Other than minute typos and that sort of thing, I saw no major problem with the way you write. The text flows along nicely. Your dialogues seemed convincing to me. The multiple POV approach is handled well. It has the advantage of slowly building a complete picture and sets for the reader, not only the scene of the coming action but also a feeling of tension building. My one concern was that maybe you should start with the MC. As they say, start where the story starts. The reader likes to know who to follow through the plot.

Sue50 wrote 925 days ago

Quite a page turner! Pleasure to place your work on my shelf. Hope you have a chance to take a look at another paranormal thriller, Dark Side by CC Brown. Good luck.
Sue50

Philthy wrote 947 days ago

Hi Alex,

Good stuff! You have great flow as a writer, and know how to write dialogue, which is absolutely refreshing.

Some small things I notice that I hope might be helpful (but it's all my humble opinions):


I think the second paragraph should be combined with the first.

Delete “So” in the second paragraph

Delete “As the twenty-two year old (should be “twenty-two-year-old”)
If you want to let us know he’s 22, you can do that in the first sentence by saying “the twenty-two-year-old psychic” (we already know he’s a man)

“This was an unusual occurrence” can be “This was unusual”

You do a little too much telling rather than showing. For instance, rather than telling us the trader is male, describe what he looks like and maybe his manner, which can tell us a lot about how he’s receiving the MC’s saying he doesn’t like the stone.

“pay today” there should not be a semicolon there. Just a simple comma will do.

The biggest thing is the description. There's a lot more opportunity for it and I think it can really strengthen things. Also, while the first part is a good hook, I think the lure of the stone could even be played up a bit more. Just a thought. This has a LOT of promise. High star ratings for sure.

Good luck with this. I look forward to seeing it climb the ranks.

Phil
(Deshay of the Woods)

Michael Croucher wrote 988 days ago

A very skillful opening scene; I could feel the clutter of booths, and hear the hawkers as the mc approached the tarot reader, very vivid. A quick and compelling hook, great opening chapters. I'm in, looking forward to reading on. Rated highly.
Michael Croucher (Bravo's Veil

Intriguing Trails wrote 1011 days ago

Book of Trinity,
fiction? or true life?
3rd person - multiple POV

The pitch - both short and long are well written and inviting

Premise - are there ghosts or evil spirits? A woman is trapped in a war between good and evil.

The POV shifts are done with Chapter breaks, so there isn't any head-hopping.

The plot is fairly well supported, though it isn't readily evident in the first chapter. There is a bit of foreshadowing with the magic and stones.

Pacing IMO It is a little slow to start, but by the end of Ch 1, it becomes quite engaging.

One small thing I noticed, the dialog is broken with the tags such as "Paul smiled" and "the woman greeted him" (since she said hello, the greeting is already understood).

I hope this helps.
Raechel
Echo

Intriguing Trails wrote 1011 days ago

Book of Trinity,
fiction? or true life?
3rd person - multiple POV

The pitch - both short and long are well written and inviting

Premise - are there ghosts or evil spirits? A woman is trapped in a war between good and evil.

The POV shifts are done with Chapter breaks, so there isn't any head-hopping.

The plot is fairly well supported, though it isn't readily evident in the first chapter. There is a bit of foreshadowing with the magic and stones.

Pacing IMO It is a little slow to start, but by the end of Ch 1, it becomes quite engaging.

One small thing I noticed, the dialog is broken with the tags such as "Paul smiled" and "the woman greeted him" (since she said hello, the greeting is already understood).

I hope this helps.
Raechel
Echo

Weaver Reads wrote 1032 days ago

Very good first chapter Alex! Sucks you in to continue reading more. That's always a good sign! :) I am curious where this will go so will continue happily. It's freaking me out already! :)

JoeDPalermo wrote 1050 days ago

A J Ryder.

Very interesting and informative work. I will back it. I have been looking for stories about demonic possessions and the like for information. I do not bleieve in tarot cards and crystal reading, but I know others do. From information I have gathered so far, use of those things can open the door to demonic possession. So I found your work very useful in writing the novel I am writing. It s sequel to Jamie 7 and is called Demon Wars. I have a portion of Jamie 7 posted on this site. You might want to take a look at. I really should upload a new version because Jamie 7 has been edited. I guess I will do that soon.

In any case, very good and informative writing.

Keep Smiling
Joseph D Palermo

Tom Bye wrote 1062 days ago

Hello A.J.Ryder 'Book of Trinity.

Read this wonderful book of yours last- night before going to bed,
And what a time to read it, i began to wonder if my house was haunted, all those creatures in your book had come to haunt me, as i thought about them.; The devil; ghosts and of course, things that go bump in the night.

Love the cover of the book and the name is so apt , you got that in one, pitch makes one want to read.

And there i was, possessed by something or other as i read the pages at a fast rate, its full of intrigue and suspense . i still have the scene where she wakes up in bed after a dream to see that figure moving around the bed, hand out to take her away. The scene is still in my minds eye, as is also. the village of Slapton beside the canal, very descriptive and well suited to the story line.

As one of the top talent spotters on site' Curious turtle' says its a wonderful read. i have to concur with his opinions, because it is,

When published, it is just waiting for a film to happen. that quaint village, cottage . canal , the scene is set

good luck with it .

if you have time to glance at mine it too is riddled with banshees, devils , and of course my favorite angel
'Nimberley Nobody' please do and comment or back. obliged thanks

tom bye ' from hugs to kisses'

Tom Bye wrote 1062 days ago

Hello A.J.Ryder 'Book of Trinity.

Read this wonderful book of yours last- night before going to bed,
And what a time to read it, i began to wonder if my house was haunted, all those creatures in your book had come to haunt me, as i thought about them.; The devil; ghosts and of course, things that go bump in the night.

Love the cover of the book and the name is so apt , you got that in one, pitch makes one want to read.

And there i was, possessed by something or other as i read the pages at a fast rate, its full of intrigue and suspense . i still have the scene where she wakes up in bed after a dream to see that figure moving around the bed, hand out to take her away. The scene is still in my minds eye, as is also. the village of Slapton beside the canal, very descriptive and well suited to the story line.

As one of the top talent spotters on site' Curious turtle' says its a wonderful read. i have to concur with his opinions, because it is,

When published, it is just waiting for a film to happen. that quaint village, cottage . canal , the scene is set

good luck with it .

if you have time to glance at mine it too is riddled with banshees, devils , and of course my favorite angel
'Nimberley Nobody' please do and comment or back. obliged thanks

tom bye ' from hugs to kisses'

PCreturned wrote 1066 days ago

Hi again Alex,

Well I finally managed to make enough time to come over and have a good look at your book. Sorry it took a while, but this racing for the desk business takes a lot of time. :(

I'll comment as I read since I find that the easiest way to keep track. I guess I better get started. :) (Sorry in advance for any typos, but my keyboard's a bit knackered. :( )

Chapter 1:

Intriguing intro to Paul. He seems an interesting character. There are just enough hints of strangeness to pique my interest and make me want to read on. + you manage to make me feel a bit sorry for him. I'm rooting for him at this stage.

Jon and Jo seem pretty down on their luck. I get the feeling they've been househunting unsuccessfully for some time. I'm guessing their budget's pretty limited. As a broke, struggling writer, I really sympathise with this couple ;). Strange that Jo obviously feels so uncomfortable when viewing the house. Eerie. Uh oh, by the end of the scene, it looks like Jon's well on the way to buying the place. Why didn't Jo speak up and explain her foreboding. I dread to think what will happen if/when they move in. :(

I was surprised when Paul bought the crystal in the last scene of the chapter. I thought he'd successfully managed to resist its allure. I wonder, will the crystal be crucial in some way in the future. ;)

Chapter 2:

Hmmm I wonder what Lewis and Jo are doing visiting the clairvoyant Geraldine. Fascinating.

I thought the scene with jo's reading was great. Gave me goosebumps. V abrupt. Are they normally like that? Some info seemed vague and easily guessed, but other bits seemed eerily accurate and prophetic. Is geraldine the real deal?

Lewis's reading also wasn't what I expected. Either Geraldine is v good or she's guessing pretty wildly. Only time will tell, I guess. ;)

Chapter 3:

No wonder Jon and Jo wanted to move. Seems like they aren't in the best area :(. Looks like Jo's still worried about the house they'll be moving into, though. She can't put her finger on what the problem is, but we're getting hints Jo can sense something to do with hauntings. Will their new house be haunted? Maybe even in a malevolent way? That could affect her v badly if she has to live there. I hope she'll be OK. :(

Scary dream at the end of the chapter. Is this 1 of the prophetic dreams Jo mentioned earlier? If that's a gift, I'm quite glad I don't have it. :)

Chapter 4:

Fun banter with Jo, jon and Pete. It made me smile. Good timing too. I think you needed a bit of lightness here to lighten the mood for a moment. :)

Hmmm I wonder what strange impulse drives Paul in the next section. Ah it seems he's drawn to Slapton, and in a protective capacity, no less. Looks like your story threads are coming together nicely now. ;)

Very curious reaction from Jon at the end of the chapter. He seemed angry for some reason. Is he under some unseen pressure? Is the house affecting him? Either way, it's ominous. Hmmm food for thought...

OK I need to stop commenting now as I'm out of time for the moment, sadly :(. I'll try and sum up here.

I enjoyed what I read a lot. I think you do a great job of making your characters all feel real and interesting. As a result, I found I really did care about all of them. The descriptions are clear and simple. And the dialogue feels real, bouncing nicely from character to character. I especially like the way you release information little by little. All the hints build up, making me want to read on faster and faster. I know this is a haunted house story, and that things will get more scary and extreme. That knowledge is there, in the back of my head, making me nervous. Cleverly done.

I'm v happily giving this the 6 stars I think it deserves. I just spotted you've already got this published. Congratulations! I wish you the best of luck selling many thousands of copies. :)

Best wishes,

Pete x

Dwayne Kavanagh wrote 1114 days ago

Read the first chapter....(insert swear word here) loved it! Off I go to read more! It looks as though this is already published so there's no point commenting, but send me a link and I 'll buy a copy. That should say enough right there!

Cheers,
Dwayne

billysunday wrote 1133 days ago

Can't believe this is true! Your page-turning account sounds more like a movie. Completely hooked and will continue to read, might even buy on Amazon! 6 stars!

billysunday wrote 1136 days ago

This sounds awesome! Very interesting intro. Love exorcisms. Backed and greatly look forward to reading. If you have time, a return read would be great.
Dina of Halo of the Damned and 33

mongoose wrote 1139 days ago

I've had this on my WL for what seems like aeons...and I was sure I had commented before but it seems not. Sorry. Fascinating story - quite fascinating. I have had strange experiences but nothing quite like this.... Once hung a crystal in a window and it vanished....thin air. What was even stranger though was that it re-appeared, out of nowhere, several weeks later. NO explanation.
One thing - sections labelled 8/9 here seem to repeat - 23rd December 1989 and 12th July 1990 - or am I going a bit strange this morning? Huge HUGE good luck with your Amazon sales.... Janex

Sue50 wrote 1146 days ago

Book of Trinity was recommended by CC Brown author of Dark Side. I read the first two chapters of your book and am happy to say that I will be reading more. Your use of dialogue is moving your story nicely. I'm definitely BACKING. Hope you have a chance to take a look at Dark Side and find a place for it on your shelf. Thanks.
Sue50

curiousturtle wrote 1147 days ago

AJ,

I started reading your Opus and thought I would give you my cent and half:

The first thing that jumps here is the style. Is a moment by moment perception where every moment is a dangling act promising the next to have the same urgency....

..... and that you deliver.

The jewel of the narrative however is the almost exclusive use of dialogue to draw a psychological map of your central character's. The ebbs and flows as they go about reconciling the wishes with the pauses....

......and they do their grace shows.

......for, this is a novel that is "talked" rather than told or shown

....all in a dialogue that is more naturalistic than punchy....

.....more revelatory than action oriented

.....and that what makes this narrative worth reading


Some of my favorites:

"The detached house was remarkable larger.....
This is your best paragraph so far...richly detailed, filled with visual imagery, all of it glued by a nice arch

"take care and God bless you"
I would finish ch 2 with that

Some Minor/Minorest/Minormost points:

I would have liked a bit more of a sense of place at the beginning for, the reader need a place to station the eyes when he is introduced to a plot. The same thing when you changed scenes later on

"negative energies" "full of satisfaction" "Joanna furiously"
I would cut a bit on the emotional labeling
Why?
Because when the writer labels an emotion, the reader reads ...the label
when he uses body language to describe...the reader feels

"precariously" "rickety" "engulfed"
I would also cut a bit on the modifiers
why?
because as Updike said: "the modern reader can fill in the blanks"

for ex: "Hey Jo!" his voice was now full of wonderment
isn't that wonderment implied in the 'Hey Jo'?

Let me know if that helps,

Overall, wonderful

david

ccb1 wrote 1149 days ago

Backed Book of Trinity. A chilling tale. Love the intrigue with the crystal. Went to a fortune teller once, tried to get me to take a crystal away with me. Declined. Glad I did now. Will be back to read more. I am recommending your book to a friend who loves this type of story.
CC Brown

M. A. McRae. wrote 1153 days ago

Some chapters 1988, and some are 1994. I've read 4 chapters, and still don't know whether the Joanna of 1988 is the same character as the Joanna of 1993. And I've yet to see where Paul comes in. It's a matter of taste, not right or wrong, but for me, a more straightforward narrative would be more likely to keep me reading.
Aside from that, the writing is good, and I have a feeling that the story will be appropriately creepy and in time, no doubt, it will become Horror.
A few typos that I'll put in a separate message.
This is a well written story, that a lot of people will enjoy. To be backed, Marj.

kategrimes@live.co.uk wrote 1154 days ago

A gem of a story, Alex, and although not my usual genre, I just had to keep reading once I started. Great stuff. Well deserves to be published and I really hope it happens for you. Good Luck.

Kate Grimes -LIZZIE -CUPPA TALES - TALES OF WILLOW GREEN

Frank Valentyn wrote 1157 days ago

Having read all you submitted Alex, my impression is of inspired and talented writing, and frankly, I do not commit such an opinion lightly. The evocative description of characters involved, their surroundings and circumstance, idiosyncracies and mannerisms, inter-reactive dialogue, this consistently flows and engages. The overall effect continually draws anticipative attention and (I'm sure) a reader wants more.

With the exception of a few minor grammatic and syntactic faults (one significant one in Chapter Six) this work is excellent and certainly commercially viable. I have not commented on, or listed the few errors as the work has already been published and such would be redundant. A second edition could tidy that.

My congratulations on outstanding work - the biographical background shines through successfully and you have managed to sketch living minds and characters in a way that makes them stand out beyond the page.

Kind Regards,
Frank Valentyn

Ivan Amberlake wrote 1160 days ago

Alex,

“Book of Trinity” is in one of my most favourite genres, so I cannot miss a chance to enjoy your book. So far I’ve read one chapter and immensely enjoyed it. I know it’s just the beginning of the story, but the style you resort to is compelling.

Makes me long for more.

By the way, the title and the cover are simply gorgeous. Thank you for the invitation to come on www.book-of-trinity.com after reading the first 10 chapters.

Ivan
The Beholder

J Lawrence wrote 1167 days ago

How bizarre, I grew up in this town. I am enjoying your writing and intrigued by the story.
J
Verado

Shieldmaiden wrote 1170 days ago

You certainly can write, and very professionally. I think you will do well, especially considering what is popular right now. The narration is very smooth and natural, no mistake. The only thing I want to point out is that in describing the wife's feelings, you always use "uneasy". How about "wary", or "unsettled", at times? Otherwise, you did an excellent job. Bravo! I wish you the best in your literary endeavors!

--Shieldmaiden

TracyJJ wrote 1186 days ago

I am half way through the book and totally hooked......I will not comment on the Grammer or spelling as I think most of this is captured in earlier messages. I can definately see a film being made from this book. Look forward to the official publication when I will be recommending to my family and friends...... and soooooo look forward to the film coming out. Well done and good luck

Benjamin Taylor wrote 1196 days ago

I am looking forward to reading this book although i must admit that i am putting it off a little, as i scare easily and as i live alone and as yet own no crosses with which to ward off satan or anyone else who might feel the need to pop over! i had better get myself an exorcist friend and let you know!!

jm herts wrote 1198 days ago

Based on these first chapters; the book is sensational! cannot wait to read the rest of it.
I can honestly say that the story is gripping and keeps you captivated due to the twists and turns it evokes.
Whilst I tend to read a whole host of literature, the supernatural has not been really one of my favourites - until now!
If this is an example of a contemporary version of the genre; I'm hooked.

Absolutely brilliant.

Funny Woman wrote 1198 days ago

I enjoyed reading your 10 chapters and looking forward to reading the rest. It is very good.

Lenore wrote 1198 days ago

BOOK OF TRINITY
The author has created such an interesting story, I felt I was watching the unfolding of a CBS 48 Hours Drama, complete with fully drawn characters and dialogue that truly enhances the drama and foreboding of a story based on real facts. Readers will be drawn in with the delicately told story, not rushing, but advancing what is to come in a timely fashion to hold readers in tow. Personally, I was also interested technically since my book , although a different genre, was also drawn on real events. Definitely stared and will place on shelf as soon as possible.
Lenore
Surviving the Seaweed

newwriter2010 wrote 1200 days ago

Absolutely brilliant, your account of true events in prose. Couldn't stop once I started and enjoyed it thoroughly all the way through. Your representation of the characters and the woman's struggle was superb. I have recommended the piece to some of my friends who enjoy a good horror story.

Good Luck

Slapton resident wrote 1204 days ago

I was given a link to your website earlier in the week from a member of the Slapton bookclub. Suffice to say, once I started reading BOOK OF TRINITY, I just couldn't stop.

You have a very good way of drawing the reader in and getting them completely immersed in the story you have to tell. The characters are all strong and individual, each complementing the other beautifully as the story unravels. I was particularly impressed by the twist at the end. Trinity #2 maybe ..?

And as for those dreams? Well - they were just the icing on the cake. I particularly enjoyed the game of chess with the devil. Brilliant!

A fascinating story, made all the more interesting because it all happened in the village where I live.

lisawb wrote 1230 days ago

I am a big fan of true stories for the insight they give. This book has entertained, provoked and opened up my mind. I think your presentation is good and I also had a look at your website and thought the hard work had paid off. I regretfully have to make room for other books, but I have backed for a few days and hope your book will find a place on a hard shelf in the bookshops.

Backed with great interest and pleasure, and of course rated.

Lisa

Miss_Fletcher wrote 1230 days ago

How quirky. You write clearly, and it's a smooth read. At no point did I read anything that pulled me out of the story. I found the dialog slightly awkward, but it worked for me.

Paul seems an interesting character. I don't have a solid mental picture of him in my mind, but I want to say Dr Who when I think of him. As for Joanna, I would never step another toe in that house after feeling the darkness. Why was Jon not more aware of what she was feeling? He noted she was pale and that was it....

My only thing was exclamation marks. In my mind when I see an exclamation mark the sentence is remixed into something ... well ... exclamatory. So when I read on and see it was just to convey a cheerful 'hello' it throws me off kilter because I think, well, it was just hello....

I had a snoop around your website with the volume of my iMac whacked to max, so when the music started I jumped out of my skin - I was reading the blurb and it just happened to start as my eyes wandered over the word Satan. Freaked myself out so much I had to turn the light on.

I rated and popped this one my bookshelf to read on at a later date.

Penelope
The Demon Girl

Pat Black wrote 1232 days ago

Hi there - great pitch and cover, you certainly grab the attention. You take your time to build up a bit of an atmosphere, going from the psychic's strange attraction to the market stall crystals and then showing us the couple as they are introduced to, I would guess, what will become the house of horror. It's a fine start and you're a fine, clear writer.

What I would say to you is that you have a couple of typos quite high up in the story which you need to sort out. I don't think for a minute that agents and editors are complete grammar fascists, but I don't think those kind of errors will help your case. The first one is in the first sentence - you refer to him "wondering around" the shops, when I think you mean "wandering". Later, you have him giving a "rye" smile, where I think you mean "wry". Sorry to be a pedant, but I think it's worth fixing.

Best of luck,

Pat

missyfleming_22 wrote 1233 days ago

I'm a big fan of books like this, sometimes it's nice to find a book that just creeps you out and yours did! Mix in a little religion and it makes it even better! There is something going on here that slowly builds, much like I'd imagine it would in real life. It makes the suspense build nicely. I watch a lot of those shows that deal with this kind of thing so I already came into this book expecting to like it. You did not disappoint! I'm not that good at constructive comments, I like to come at a book like a reader, it keeps reading from becoming a job! But needless to say, I got involved quickly and am loving your book. It certainly deserves a spot on my shelf in the next week!

Thanks for this, it's something I would love to curl up with!
Missy
Mark of Eternity

Tom Bye wrote 1235 days ago

HI ALEX 'BOOK OF TRINITY'

I LIKE a book with things that go bump in the night. The cover and pitch grabbed my attention.
and the first chapter did not fail and the story comes across with a definite eree feel about it, making the reader wanting to read on. i got as far as chapter six where Joanna comes face to face with the evil shape or thing and notices her husbands appearance is not up to what it had always been, enjoyed this read, the slow build up in tension is exceptionally well done, creating a great atmosphere.'

TOM BYE ' FROM HUGS TO KISSES'
please glance at mine and if you like it back stare comment accordingly thanks

Fifi Bergere wrote 1239 days ago

Intriguing pitch. I've only had time to read the start but it's confident, assured writing introducing me to a world I know little about. I will read on.

marc henri wrote 1242 days ago

Normally I read three chapters and comment. With your novel I read four, which is testament to how engrossing this is. I was fascinated by Jon's increasing short temper, and Joanna's undesirable impressions of the house. Five stars for now. It's on my watchlist, and I'm looking forward to reading more.

Leigh Michaels wrote 1242 days ago

Nice writing and character development, along with a good mix of narration and dialogue. You will do well with this. Shelved.

A. Zoomer wrote 1242 days ago

Book of Trinity,

Dear Alex,
This is a very interesting story. To make it even better have a friend read it outline to you.
It really helped me.
A Zoomer

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