The Gods who fell from the Sky

The Gods who fell from the Sky by Dick Dawson.
Thank you for sharing your personal story. You show a lot of courage and determination. A celebration of the mountains you have had to climb. Excellently recounted.

What a great opening - recounting the flight over Africa - a sense of exhilleration and freedom is conveyed.
My heart sank as the aircraft ran out of fuel - this would rank amongst my worst nightmares.

I inhaled deeply when Penny had her first accident and recoilled in horror when she fell over the stairs.
Returning to the original journey from the prologue was well crafted.

This is an amazing, fast paced, emotional rollercoaster.

High stars from me.
Sheena

Some edits

It was the 1st July?
even at this early hour ) as you haven't said the hour- this - would read better.
sank. In other words we were lost.
happen, we were so busy

Chapter one
of England, but could find nothing
on the planet, " he said check this throughout

This story starts with an exciting and scary prologue. It's well written and edited – I didn't spot any typos, but there are a view things that I'll point out in a minute.
It's so very sad with the bad luck that Penny had and then to die. This is always more heartfelt in a real story than fiction. It was quite a shock so near the beginning.
The only confusion I found was when you mentioned what your mother had said and in chapter 3 the passage from your father's diary. The line of quote began with “ - quotation marks, but I wasn't sure where they ended. I had to reread it to work out when it went back to you the narrator. The same with your mother's part.
There was another sentence with missing quotations near the beginning – Oh no God, don't do that to me again. The quotation marks are the only thing that made this story a little difficult to flow. It's an easy thing to solve with a little bit of editing.
It's a really interesting memoir/biography that I would be happy to have on a real book shelf.
High stars and I'll put it on my shelf in a few weeks time.
Take care, Jes.x

Loved reading your story, I lived in Knowles Hotel in Fort Jameson when I was a little girl, before starting school in the UK. My grandmother and her husband Mr Knowles owned it and upon their deaths it belonged to my father John Burwood. I don't remember anything about those years but do have some ivory and wood carvings which belonged to my folks as a reminder of Africa. If you read this I would love to hear from you!
Thank-you Heather Keel (Burwood)

Chapter 1 to 5

I love the title. Your story is a tough one, full of challenges that you meet with vigour and courage: your Wife Penny's accidents, your boyhood ploughing accident, the loss of your leg, other difficulties and sporting achievements, all met without saying "I can't".

I like the way you depict the love and support for each other within your family, both in your childhood with your parents and in your adult years with your wife and children.You describe the vitality of Africa very well and although all that I read is fascinating, I think I am most enchanted by your adventures in Africa...a continent unknown to me but which you paint as exotic and colourful.

Thank you for sharing your story. I have given it a high star rating and wish you good luck with it.
Cherry
The Girl from Ithaca

Real life stories are always far better than fiction. TGwfftS joins this genre as a worthy addition. Highly confessional with no holds barred, this biography is an extremely frank and honest account. Set against an African and English backdrop beginning in the 1940's and covering whats looks like the next 60 years, author George Richard Mawson paints a series of vivid pictures about family tragedies and challenges that are both heart rendering and engaging. Much of TGwfftS is not for the feint-hearted. It is turgid, stark and often near to brutal in its honest transcription. High stars and WL'ed. Bookshelf candidate when complete.

Clive Radford
Doghouse Blues

Interesting tale. The way you wrote the time is fascinating. An 'h' between the numbers.

Anyway, I was hooked from the stupid police arrest you for allegedly pushing your wife from the car. I would tell him to F-off too

Max stars but still reading

I have loved reading your book and your story is very inspiring. Living in Africa is a dream that many would envy, so sad about Penny. Lovely read 6 stars

Cathy

Dear George,

Being a huge fan of true life stories, I was happy to a look at your touching, inspiring book. I loved the interesting details related to living in Africa, but even more I loved the soul in this piece. All that you have endured (and witnessed Penny enduring) is a testament to the strength of your character. I loved how you cared for her every step of the way, even in the not-so-pleasant tasks. Your story is balanced with little touches of humor, such as: "the only sober landlord on the planet" mixed with many tender moments, such as the yorkies and cat snuggling with Penny as if they knew. Wishing you every success with this moving memoir.

All the very best,
Faith Rose
Now To Him

George: What a marvelous, fascinating true story! It made me want to move to Africa! (of course, it doesn't take much to make me want to do that as I've always loved to travel and live in other countries as I did when I was in the Peace Corps and lived in the Philippines).

Your imagery of Africa is the very best part of your story, but I also enjoyed some other parts: your prologue where Nikanya sees a plane crash and thinks it's the gods; your love for your wife Penny, your accidents and Britt's death - all of these are deeply moving. When you left Africa and returned to England, Penny seemed to have such problems - first falling out of a car and then over the balcony! I felt so sorry for her, but also for you as you obviously loved her very much.

I was thrown a little it by your change in voice in the chapter after Penny left in the plane. I thought at first that it was your son David talking but then I realized it was you talking. Is there something you can do to make this a bit clearer right off the bat?

Otherwise I've no suggestions for your lovely story. I think it's written very well - almost lyrical and poetic in its descriptions of Africa and sad and jolting in Penny's, Britt's, and your accidents. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when you lost your artificial foot by sliding down the tunnel, but I can understand so many ladies fainting at that sight!

Outstanding memoir, full of beautiful word pictures, humor, pathos, and love of life. Will you be including photographs in your book once it's published? I hope so as I'd really like to have a copy with photographs! You certainly have my best wishes for publication and please let me know when it's published.

Thank you,
Patricia Laster

What an eventful life you have led! I thought your opening vignette was a great start, and you have loads of interesting anecdotes to share. Your writing is clear and concise. Critique-wise, there are sections of narrative and back story, such as the list of your relations and who is from where, that I would try to weave into the story in other ways -- right now they're just dropped in as a big chunk of information. But other than that, when you are telling stories you do it quite well.
Best of luck with this!
And if you have any interest in children's literature, please come visit the Lost Wink.
Thanks!
Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

Hi George I read chapter 4. This is a beautifully crafted piece, it must have been really rewarding to remember these events and write them down. What your story says is never to give up, and always keep looking for an opportunity but most of all that disability isn't a disability. Congratulations, it's well writtten and easy to read, I am sure it will inspire others.

Kindest Regards and Best Wishes
Lenny Banks - Tide and Time: At The Rock.

You put me in the mind of an eleven-year-old from the initial shock at the accident to your inner struggle with fear not to fall asleep to the setting of the theatre, with visceral descriptions that convey extraordinary intensity and everyone's sheer panic, justifiably so. I'm trying not to be a spoiler for future readers, but I fought tears, being a mom and a grandma. The struggle with reality during recovery is unfathomable, my heart melted within me. As far as the writing, it continues with a good flow, good pace, bringing the reader into your experience, as if witnessing the events firsthand, making a strong emotional connection. George, this is such an amazing account of what happened to you, I'm speechless. Your resilience is already apparent. I'll be reading your story to the last word.
Donna
No Kiss Goodbye

The Gods who fell from the Sky.
By George Richard Mawson.


The book takes the reader back in time to when you left England for Rhodesia in 1946 but you don’t mention who accompanied you on that journey, I just wondered as it would have opened the story up somewhat more.
The same again as you describe meeting up with Penny, born in Kenya, born from British stock who was to become your wife.
A fair amount of detail here but we hear nothing of the wedding day...something very memorable.
I only say this because your story is very open elsewhere and what’s left out would be an important contribution to your past life.
A very loving relationship exists between Penny and yourself, you are clearly made for each other.
You worked very hard at your business, late nights and long journeys to and from home to make it a going concern...It paid off. Good for you, well done.
I was a little concerned after Penny’s accident, I thought the worst and then the second fall, I thought, Oh no! But luckily all goes well for Penny and Heather to visit SA in January.
Good description of the sad scene at the airport as they leave...I felt for you.
It’s a great hook at the end of chapter one.
I shall have to come back to learn more but I have enjoyed it so far.
High stars, George for an interesting read. Well done!!

Kind regards,

Neville. The Secrets of the Forest – The Time Zone.

George, I've just read chapter 1, and I have to say your touching story is quite an emotional roller coaster so far. The poetic introduction sets the tone very well, and then you really grab our attention with Penny's first dramatic accident. And then just when it looks as though everything is going well, it all gets much more complicated. This is a well-written and honest account so far, and I will read more when I can. High stars.
I did notice a missing word towards the end of the chapter, in the para beginning 'I took them to Gatwick..' In the last sentence I think you are missing the word 'to' in 'Oh how I wish I could have caught a glimpse of those events that were about devastate us'.
David
MASTER ACT: a memoir

Now, that's what I would call an adventure -- from the gorgeous Mediterranean area to gazing upon Kilimanjaro to surviving a crashlanding in the jungle without food or water or weapons to natives' scary welcome. What a fantastic story -- and I enjoyed every minute of it. Only had time for a couple of chapters, but I'm captivated and will return to finish it.
Donna
No Kiss Good-bye

I have read all 26 chapters of the book and I liked every single one of them. The story is so easy to read and is very truthful. The life of George Mawson shows how to reach the dream, no matter how hard is to make the impossible things to become possible. George is a wonderful narrator with the emotions so bright and the vivid descriptions of the actions which are fulfilled with fascinating feelings. I'll give six stars.
Laura Podosyan
" The Magic Blanket", " The Teddy Bear with Hedgehog Hair".

George,
a return read for our reading swap. Thanks for your support of Mr Unusually's Circus of Dreams.

You have a wonderful writing style, so open and honest but also nostalgic and loving. The way you describe your feelings for your wife and family are breathtaking. I only wish all men were so good at expressing their affection for those around them (so speaks a mother of three sons!!)
I usually find that memoir on Authonomy is generally not as tightly edited as fiction. Plot guides fiction writers to know exactly what is superfluous, but that is much harder in memoir, so well done for writing which feels edited well but is still full of memory, life and love!
6 stars from me,
All the best,
Sharda.

George,

I read the first two chapters of your book with rapt attention. Your story is written with such a positive sounding voice that is hard to fathom all the trama you and your family have experienced. You have a wonderful way of relating a story that compels the reader to move forward. Of course it is the story that drives, but your giftedness is what fuels the vehicle. I almost don’t want to read the rest of your story because I fear for what is in store for Penny and Debra. But know I must find the answer.

I commend you for writing such an uplifting account of a difficult thing. That is itself must be medicine for your soul as well as your readers. Highly starred.

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

Amazing story. I like the origins of the title and the little asides, such as, the children wishing for a white Christmas, things that children will always be doing.

I've no idea about the techniques for writing biography, but the incident at the roundabout in Reading is terrifying, and it’s so well done, I had to read it again to make sure.

Dates would be good in ch1, or years at least.

Ch2 The Luangwa Valley crash is astonishing. I think the success is in that extra detail of a man who dares to look out and record what actually happens to the prop. It’s really quite extraordinary.

An “indaba”, and leopards coming down from the hills is really an incredible insight.

On the first mention of Salisbury, you might have to point out that it’s not Salisbury in the UK.

Well it’s been astonishing to read the first two chapters wondering what’s going to happen next, and I’ve really enjoyed it. Thank you for putting your story on. Best wishes and good luck with this - Ian

this is a story that is hard to imagine. some major turning points that are devastating. worth sharing and i am glad you have done something positive with your pain. these events combined are larger than life, but i don´t get that feeling when i read your long pitch. it is quite dry and needs an injection of speed and a faster pulse...
j
what every woman should know

The Gods who Fell from the Sky.

Your short pitch touches a chord in me - yes, life is what you make it. I am looking forward to getting to know you.
I take notes as I read, but dont pretend to be an expert.

ch.1. What a fantastic opening for your book!
'It was not a good experience and one I could have done without.' Massive understatement, and is this sentence entirely necessary?

I have galloped through the rest of the chapter, utterly absorbed. Coming back for air, I cant help wondering - great as it is - whether that Prologue isnt a bit misplaced? But it does refer to a plane crash, and such events have impacted greatly on your life, so I will reserve judgment.

Ch.2. Back yet again in time. Not always a good idea. But, again, I bide my time.
You have two 'I was born's in that first paragraph.

That's a surprise - is it your mother who is the narrator? But she can scarcely have been born in 1946 -
Would it not be simpler merely to say something like: 'The fuel capacity ... necessitated having to make frequent stops for refuelling.'
Hope you dont mind these nits.
You have beautiful twice in that short paragraph flying over Sardinia.
Do you mean Kisumu - or even Naivasha (beside its lake) when you couldnt land in Nairobi? Seaplanes landed in both places.
And the spelling is 'askaris'.
There are two 'at nights' in the paragraph where leopards came down from the hills.

I am transported back to Africa by the simple easy flow of your words.

I'm wondering if this chapter might be better in the third person ... but it's only a thought, and it's your book.

Ch.3. This must be you, now.
I think you mean you dumped a good amount of vomit in a bowl.
You were a feisty, courageous little fellow.

I have enjoyed reading this part of your story. It flows naturally, and is very interesting.
It needs editing and refining, but we all have to do it, and it is always worth it in the end.

I'll have to read more into the book before venturing to offer an opinion on that wonderful opening.

Jane (Breath of Africa).

brilliant AND true...amazing. the first person works very well... and the fact that it's true...
l will back...
read SEASONS...