Book Jacket

 

rank 5908
word count 17072
date submitted 27.11.2010
date updated 28.11.2010
genres: Fiction, Science Fiction, Fantasy, ...
classification: universal
incomplete

The D'war'en Heir (Book 2)

Frank Calcagno, Jr.

The Tales of the Antares Rangers continues with Book 2, The D'war'en Heir. The crew must find food and encounter an unexpected alien race.

 


In their desperate search for food, Peter and the crew enter a star system hoping to find a habitable planet. But the living ship, now called Perry, becomes lost once again and jumps into a system displaying little likelihood of developing an Earthlike world.

Without enough food to travel to another star, they explore the system they are in on the off chance of finding a living world. Surprisingly, a perfect homeworld is found. Adding to the mysteries, the planet is populated by a feudal-level race. At first they decide not to interfere with the civilization and try to collect the food they need by themselves for their long journey home. But the task proves insurmountable for five young adults after days of effort produce scant results. Hoping the natives will help them, they make contact with the population and befriend Alffinnr, the heir to the D’war’en throne.

The enigmas continue to build when they learn that the language of the D’war’en has roots in common with Old Earth. But that is just the start of the mysteries as more puzzles are revealed. The D’war’en seem friendly enough, but are they truly what they appear to be?

 
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tags

alien races, exoplanets, spaceflight

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2 comments

 

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M. A. McRae. wrote 1184 days ago

An exciting story, full of action, with well differentiated characters. You have also set the scene for Book 3.
Well done.

CarolinaAl wrote 1230 days ago

I read you first chapter.

General comments: An interesting start to what is no doubt a clever adventure. Awesome world building. Credible characters. Vivid, atmospheric descriptions. Up to the intoduction of Henrietta, there was not much tension and the pacing seemed slow. After that, the pacing and tension picked up.

Specific comments on chapter one:
1) There are a lot of characters intoduced at the beginning of this chapter and a fair amount of backstory. There is a noticable lack of forward movement of the story in that section. By the time Stiles was introduced, I was growing impatient for the story to begin moving forward.
2) 'Are we the same people that started the trip?' 'That' should be 'who.'
3) ' ... they still had not made it out of the woods' is cliche.
4) ' ... and pay them back for all they had done if it was the last thing he did' is cliche.
5) ' ... it was the only game in town' is cliche.
6) Good end of chapter hook.

I hope this critique helps you polish your all important first chapter. These are just my opinions. Use what works for you and discard the rest.

Happy holidays.

Al

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