Book Jacket

 

rank 5848
word count 22610
date submitted 13.12.2010
date updated 06.01.2011
genres: Fiction, Crime
classification: moderate
incomplete

Cows in the Valley

Christa Martin

A South African tale of murder incorporating sex, drugs, political subversion, financial controversy, cultural differences and farm violence, narrated in a dry, dark comedy style.

 

Carson Mhlongo believes his new post at the tail end of his career as a cop will be a quiet little intermission before he can take his retirement and spend the rest of the time he has left with his wife and children. When Buddy Larringer, Belland's most despised property owner, goes missing, Mhlongo sets out to solve another farm murder case. But somehow, things don't add up. There's the missing cattle belonging to old BB, the illegal rose nursery, the corrupt councilman and the toy-boy lover, which could all be mixed up in Larringer's disappearance. He hasn't even found a body yet, and the white folk in the tiny little farming valley of Belland are getting stranger and stranger the closer he looks. Under the quiet pastoral facade of this South African community, Mhlongo discovers chaos and mayhem to rival his days as a cop in the apartheid-era townships.

 
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tags

dark humour, farm, murder, mystery, south africa

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Chapters

1

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Chapter One

He was a tired man. Thirty years of township violence in varying stages of intensity had left him cynical and drained. Carson Mhlongo was almost fifty-five. He had five children and two wives. The first wife he buried in Augustus Cemetery for Policemen and Immediate Family. She had borne him twins before dying from loss of blood, in a hospital near KwaMashu. Carson, only a lowly cadet in the South African Police at the time, had been devastated by the tragedy, and overwhelmed by his new responsibility as a father of not one but two very wriggly and incomprehensible babies; a boy and a girl. Truly, he had been blessed and cursed by his Ancestors, and he was at a loss in every respect.

Carson's mother, MaBhengu, had taken charge of the situation. She had handled the funeral arrangements, kept Carson fed and in clean clothes, and the house tidy, had fed and changed the babies for the first three months of their lives, and then had called her youngest daughter, Jabule, up from her job in the city to stay epulazini and help with the children, much to Jabule's dismay. Jabu enjoyed her job as a domestic worker in a well-off home in the suburbs, and knew she would never be able to find such a comfortable situation again once she had been replaced. Jabu consequently held it against the children that her life as a city girl had been interrupted, and MaBhengu did not fail to notice it.

She made a few enquiries within the community and discovered that one of the elders of her church had a daughter who had been widowed, who was looking for a husband. She was a little older than Carson and not very attractive, but MaBhengu did not believe that any woman would hold the same allure for him that his first wife, Thandiwe, had. So she went about the marriage arrangements, finding the right member of the community to act as marriage mediator, and going through the traditional rituals of enquiring with the woman's parents and offering a token payment during the initial talks. It was all mostly unnecessary, since the woman's first husband had already paid lobola for her and had done all of the rituals and steps of courtship in the correct manner, so she was really not her father's responsibility any more, but MaBhengu, despite being a prominent Christian churchgoer and activist within the church, also desperately wanted this to work out for Carson, and so she sought the blessings of the Ancestors through the proper ways of their people. She was a woman who covered all of her bases.

MaBhengu 's efforts did not go unnoticed by either the Ancestors or the new wife, Zamile, who persevered through Carson's continuous rejection of her as a wife, for the sake of her mother-in-law. She was a mother to the babies and a wife to Carson, and she was a good housekeeper. Carson focused on his career, which consisted of all-night patrols to keep the peace in the Apartheid-era townships. During one of these patrols, Carson was shot in the chest by a child with a home-made weapon. The child turned and fled when he saw the results of his target-practice, and those gang members who had put him up to it followed closely. Carson had been taken to the same hospital his first wife had died in, preparing to meet her. And yet this was not his fate. Carson received a solid dose of O negative and was stable by the time Zamile and MaBhengu arrived. Zamile had cried silently for hours, not saying a word, but holding Carson's hand and keeping her eyes on her lap. 

After that day, Carson and Zamile had begun the tentative process of building a marriage. They discovered, to their delight, that it was not as difficult as they had feared. Zamile was a very clever woman, and mature for her age. Carson could only respect Zamile for her persistence, and day by day, he realised that she was a truly unique and brilliant woman. He could talk to her about his day, as he would talk to a man, and she would understand and empathise, even suggesting novel ways to solve his more common problems.

She had three children, each with a two-year gap, and Carson began to think about a quieter, safer lifestyle. One in which he could enjoy being a husband and a father. It became his ambition. Not power and wealth and political status, which drove almost all of his colleagues, but peace and quiet; a simple and happy life somewhere away from the city.

And he had been given this post, a tiny charge office on the backwaters of the edge of the municipality. The prospect of few men to command and even fewer problems to deal with appealed to Carson, and he looked forward to his new job as much as some old-timers looked forward to retirement, and it was viewed by all his workmates as much the same thing. A man of few words and placid temperament, Carson had simply smiled at the jibes and sideways sympathy of the other officers at his going-away (some called it early funeral) party. His enthusiasm for a gentle ending to his story, with his family in the farmland, was undiminished.

 

Chapters

1

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Christa Martin wrote 831 days ago

Thanks, Marj, for the insightful comments. I will take your point into consideration when my editing process picks up pace. For now I'm still trying to find the time to finish it off!
I appreciate the support and hope that once I have completed the manuscript you will give me your opinion once again on the finished product.

M. A. McRae. wrote 835 days ago

You write very competently. It's an unusual way to tell a story, from a distant and quite analytical viewpoint, with a distinct tone of irony. eg. Ch3, 'despite all the courtship that happened, they were married anyway.
It sometimes changes, eg in ch 3, when you move to a much closer perspective on your character, BB.
I can see this shaping to be a good story, with plenty of twists and turns, but wonder if you have chosen the best way to present it. While I am sure it will have its admirers, and I do agree it's a good story, the conventional manner of storytelling of choosing a sympathetic character to be your main character, and sticking largely to that person's viewpoint, tends to be more popular.
As always, take all reviews as only one person's opinion.
Polished, no typos that I found, a good story to be backed. Marj.

markwoodburn wrote 855 days ago

A slow buildup whilst characters are formed. I like how you try to steer clear of stereotypes; just keeping on the right side of realism. Have a problem with the town's name: sounds too much like "Bell-end" which has a much different meaning! I will back this book as I feel it will be worthwhile seeing where it goes. Starred also. Regards, Mark.

markwoodburn wrote 856 days ago

Hi Christa, I am working my way through this on my watchlist at the moment. So far I like what I see. Interesting seeing first hand how Saffer is now. I have friends still there but only communcate through Facebook. Once I read through it I will let you know. Regards, Mark

Bradley Haynes wrote 867 days ago

Your writing shows great depth of research and complexity of structure and plot. The characters have strong psychological profiles able to lead the story and engage readers. This has the promise of a rewarding read.
Regards
Bradley Haynes (Tricia)

Christa Martin wrote 887 days ago

Hi Susie, and thanks for taking the time to comment. I did make an honest effort to read your memoirs, but I cannot convince myself to back it, as it is not within my genre of interest. I appreciate your backing, but I do not believe that backing a book simply because its author backed mine does any good for either text, or this site. I wish you every success with your memoirs.

SusieGulick wrote 887 days ago

Dear Christa, I love that your are telling of South Africa & Detective Carson solving crimes, as your pitch portrays. :) Your tight dialogue & paragraphs, not to mention all of the excitement at every level, moved me right through chapter 15 & I was happy to see that Carson was totally diligent & "always led by example." Most thankful, I am after reading your story, that I don't live there with all of the bad happening & that even in gang-infested Santa Ana California, none of this has affected me in my 70 years of life. :) Thank you for helping me to feel what you were feeling, as you wrote your story. :) I have read, commented on, & put your book on my watchlist to read & to also at least 24-hour back when space opens on my bookshelf. :) I have also gold ******-rated your book :) - could you please ****** & back my memoirs/testimony book, in return? :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. every ******-ing & at least 24-hour backing moves our books up the authonomy lists :)
None of this comment is copy/pasted & is written arduously my best from my heart. :)

SusieGulick wrote 889 days ago

:) I will comment on your book after I have read it - read & commented on 2 days later :)

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