Book Jacket

 

rank 5873
word count 22610
date submitted 13.12.2010
date updated 06.01.2011
genres: Fiction, Crime
classification: moderate
incomplete

Cows in the Valley

Christa Martin

A South African tale of murder incorporating sex, drugs, political subversion, financial controversy, cultural differences and farm violence, narrated in a dry, dark comedy style.

 

Carson Mhlongo believes his new post at the tail end of his career as a cop will be a quiet little intermission before he can take his retirement and spend the rest of the time he has left with his wife and children. When Buddy Larringer, Belland's most despised property owner, goes missing, Mhlongo sets out to solve another farm murder case. But somehow, things don't add up. There's the missing cattle belonging to old BB, the illegal rose nursery, the corrupt councilman and the toy-boy lover, which could all be mixed up in Larringer's disappearance. He hasn't even found a body yet, and the white folk in the tiny little farming valley of Belland are getting stranger and stranger the closer he looks. Under the quiet pastoral facade of this South African community, Mhlongo discovers chaos and mayhem to rival his days as a cop in the apartheid-era townships.

 
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tags

dark humour, farm, murder, mystery, south africa

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8 comments

 

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Chapters

11

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Chapter Eleven

For the fiftieth time that morning, Sheila turned in the doorway from the tiny kitchen to the even tinier bathroom and caught her hair in the sticky fly paper hanging from the ceiling not far above. She had reminded herself many times to move the paper which hung by a drawing pin and was half-full of flies after only two days. However, as anyone will testify, those little immediate tasks which would take a minute to do always end up at the back of an ever-lengthening queue and eventually never get done.

This was unlike Sheila, who prided herself on her efficiency as a home maker and a wife, as Jack's more conscientious half, and her children's ever-present conscience. She hadn't been quite able to collect herself together since the move, though. The cottage, which was small, cosy and neat at first had become undersized, cramped and full of dust after a couple of days. Sheila had already discovered several species of spider and far too many cockroaches for her taste. Flying pests were also numerous and varied. Somewhere near the house was a damp spot that spawned thousands of noisy and vicious little mosquitoes every day. As much as she killed them every night with DOOM and coils and swatters, so they returned the next night, their numbers swelled and feeling famished. The flies were also a pain. They were brazen in their approach to perching and no amount of high-frequency hand-waving could convince them to move along once they had decided to buzz around something, be it a face, a cup of tea, a pot of cooking dinner or toes.  

Sheila stalked outside and took a few long, deep breaths of the morning air. The humidity of summer had abated and the day, shorter and cooler, were creeping toward the winter months. There was a crispness to the air that hinted of wood fires and hot chocolate and books under blankets. The chill air bit the back of her throat as she breathed, and Sheila felt some of her tension smooth away. The freshness of the air in this valley had always done something to lift Sheila’s mood.

Behind her in the field, a cow mooed and a new calf called back in miniature. Sheila was not a petty woman. She had always took pride in the fact that she had always been mature in her dealings, never sinking to meanness and retaliation. But just this once, she thought she’d allow herself to have a little fun. She thought the cows would be safe enough wandering around Belland, but it would give Larringer a headache nonetheless, the effort of rounding up and counting heads, looking for strays. What he was doing with a herd of cattle was beyond Sheila, in any case. He certainly didn’t even appear to aspire to be a farmer. Well, he would discover soon enough the niggly details of keeping cows right next door to her. Sheila smiled and opened the gate.

The cows, at first uninterested, soon discovered the last of the summer kikuyu that grew along the driveway, as yet untouched by anything but the brush cutter. It was sweet and thick, and it drew them on down the long and meandering driveway, one step at a time.

Sheila smiled again, thinking how easy it would be to do every day, turned and headed back into the tiny cottage.  


 

Chapters

11

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Christa Martin wrote 859 days ago

Thanks, Marj, for the insightful comments. I will take your point into consideration when my editing process picks up pace. For now I'm still trying to find the time to finish it off!
I appreciate the support and hope that once I have completed the manuscript you will give me your opinion once again on the finished product.

M. A. McRae. wrote 864 days ago

You write very competently. It's an unusual way to tell a story, from a distant and quite analytical viewpoint, with a distinct tone of irony. eg. Ch3, 'despite all the courtship that happened, they were married anyway.
It sometimes changes, eg in ch 3, when you move to a much closer perspective on your character, BB.
I can see this shaping to be a good story, with plenty of twists and turns, but wonder if you have chosen the best way to present it. While I am sure it will have its admirers, and I do agree it's a good story, the conventional manner of storytelling of choosing a sympathetic character to be your main character, and sticking largely to that person's viewpoint, tends to be more popular.
As always, take all reviews as only one person's opinion.
Polished, no typos that I found, a good story to be backed. Marj.

markwoodburn wrote 884 days ago

A slow buildup whilst characters are formed. I like how you try to steer clear of stereotypes; just keeping on the right side of realism. Have a problem with the town's name: sounds too much like "Bell-end" which has a much different meaning! I will back this book as I feel it will be worthwhile seeing where it goes. Starred also. Regards, Mark.

markwoodburn wrote 884 days ago

Hi Christa, I am working my way through this on my watchlist at the moment. So far I like what I see. Interesting seeing first hand how Saffer is now. I have friends still there but only communcate through Facebook. Once I read through it I will let you know. Regards, Mark

Bradley Haynes wrote 895 days ago

Your writing shows great depth of research and complexity of structure and plot. The characters have strong psychological profiles able to lead the story and engage readers. This has the promise of a rewarding read.
Regards
Bradley Haynes (Tricia)

Christa Martin wrote 916 days ago

Hi Susie, and thanks for taking the time to comment. I did make an honest effort to read your memoirs, but I cannot convince myself to back it, as it is not within my genre of interest. I appreciate your backing, but I do not believe that backing a book simply because its author backed mine does any good for either text, or this site. I wish you every success with your memoirs.

SusieGulick wrote 916 days ago

Dear Christa, I love that your are telling of South Africa & Detective Carson solving crimes, as your pitch portrays. :) Your tight dialogue & paragraphs, not to mention all of the excitement at every level, moved me right through chapter 15 & I was happy to see that Carson was totally diligent & "always led by example." Most thankful, I am after reading your story, that I don't live there with all of the bad happening & that even in gang-infested Santa Ana California, none of this has affected me in my 70 years of life. :) Thank you for helping me to feel what you were feeling, as you wrote your story. :) I have read, commented on, & put your book on my watchlist to read & to also at least 24-hour back when space opens on my bookshelf. :) I have also gold ******-rated your book :) - could you please ****** & back my memoirs/testimony book, in return? :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. every ******-ing & at least 24-hour backing moves our books up the authonomy lists :)
None of this comment is copy/pasted & is written arduously my best from my heart. :)

SusieGulick wrote 918 days ago

:) I will comment on your book after I have read it - read & commented on 2 days later :)

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