THE WRITE IN

I read this in one-sitting,
I thoroughly enjoyed it, and what is better - I would buy it.
Your writing is clear, your characters are believeable, and you clearly understand the current pulse beat of the political arena.
Nicely done.

I backed 'The Write In' on the strength of the idea for this story and the way E.M. Delaney has presented Lester Moore. I say that because many people have for so long perpetuated stereotypes of truck drivers that are demeaning where my experience has shown me that truck drivers are some of the best people I have ever met. Oh sure, there are a few bad apples, just as might be found anywhere in America and I won't claim different, but on the whole truck drivers are salt of the earth. Lester is such a man. His finances are upside down, his family life is a mess yet he does his job without complaint. He is even learning to use a computer.

In fact truck drivers like Lester Moore work twice as many hours as most Americans for half as much money and they do that every day under some of the worst conditions you can possibly imagine. Invariably they deal with rain, snow, bad traffic, and road destruction, constriction or construction as you may characterize it. They also have to handle foul tempered, or sometimes even stupid dispatchers, insane HOS regulations, unrealistic delivery schedules and cops with a perpetual hard on for the largest piece of equipment on the road. Truck Drivers are America and if you have read the bumper sticker you will realize that 'if you own it, a truck brought it'.

It is therefore refreshing to read a story about such a man who without pretense finds himself in the middle of a political storm when all he wants is a better life for everyone, a life without interference from grasping avaricious politicians or rationalist guidance from the largest government on earth.

(As an aside, it was just such rationalist policy from the government of Alameda California that allowed police and firefighters to stand idly by yesterday and watch a man drown while they did nothing. Officially they were not trained in water rescues. I wonder if the woman who went into the bay unaided was so trained? I'd be willing to bet that she simply saw a person in need and responded as a real human being would. Regrettably the man did die in spite of her efforts. Thank you unnamed lady. You are a true American.)

If you like a good read, then stay with 'The Write in'. It is bound to be a hit and I see it as a best seller. One thing I can assure you all is that when the polls open for the 2012 election I shall proudly stand in line with many other like minded Americans to Write In...Lester Moore, for President. RT

The Write In by E M Delaney

The main character in this book drives the story. I've read very few books where I felt like I knew the character as well as I know Les Moore. The author has made him human and I like that alot. He seems like a guy who could live in the neighborhood but displays the attitude and ability to embark upon the unique quest he aspires to easily. There is certainly something very special about Les Moore. I'd actually vote for the guy to be the president if he was real.

Mr. Delaney uses such down to earth dialogue that just feels real. He describes things the way a person who is very well traveled would. The love story between Les and Deborah is amazingly realistic. Their meeting, the development of the relationship and the realistic way they are, all give the story great appeal. I liked the fact that they are two very normal people thrust into a very abnormal situation.

I have to say my biggest reservation about the story was the premise being so unbelievable. A truck driver running for president(?) After reading it I found all apprehension eliminated as the story introduces a very plausible suggestion for how it all could actually happen. In this day and age of overnight successes and the power of the internet I wouldn't be surprised to see a rise in write-in candidates in the future.

The Write-In is a fantastic book. Very different, quite entertaining and well-written. The 'underdog' theme makes the reader root for the MC and identify with him. The book flap piece / the pitch I guess is right on the money and I woulod buy this book on an airport rack in a minute. I could also see this story becoming a movie quite easily.

Oh Emmett, I finally got around to finishing this segment. You deserve the giant steps your story is making toward the ED. I believe you've captured the American spirit in Les Moore. Here is an ordinary man who rises like a Phoenix out of the ashes of the mess our politicans have made.and steps forward, reluctantly, to save us. His basic intelligence, his goodness, his honesty shine through to give us a hero. And, boy oh boy, does your fictional country and probably our real country need a hero just like Les Moore. He's the perfect man at the perfect moment in time. Emmett, can you wave a magic wand and make him real? We need him here and now. You are on my shelf for the duration.
Caroline

Holy macerelli by joe I think you've got your self s best seller so many best sellers in this website wish I can think of one

I just read HarperCollins Wrote; find a better publisher. Sure it could use a little work, but a good editor could help, not hinder that. This guy must have been in a bad mood, or is an intern that is working his way up from the mail room. The real talent wouldn't be on this amateur site, they would be where the money is. Don't listen to this undergrad and do what needs done.

I have only read a few chapters, but this story is amazing so far. I will spend weeks reading books I love-- on paper. Be sure to let us know when it is available in print. I can't read on the screen, even the e readers. I would really love to finish this book. I will check out your newest book soon.

Emmett,
I read your novel as suggested. It's a little after the fact, but I couldn't help but read the critique by Harper Collins. I found the novel very publishable. Reading Harper Collins, I get the impression that what aspiring writers see and a real life editor sees are two different things, a wide gulf. I think getting to the Editors desk doesn't guarantee a thing. I hope your novel is published. It takes patience. Maybe finding the right publisher. I don't think a British publisher will want a book about young football players.
David

Hi Emmett,

I'm sorry to be getting back to you with some feedback of my own only now. I have taken a look at all three of your books and this is one I like the most. What a lot of tremendous and positive feedback you have gotten here! I wish I could return the kind of awesome, helpful review which you have left me, but I'm afraid I'm not skilled enough. Where I fail to provide, I'm certain that some of the many who have left comments must have supplied already. Therefore, I'll just give you my basic personal response to your story.

Chapter 4, when Les does the online survey, is what suddenly picked up my interest. I wish that this chapter could appear a bit sooner as this is where I found myself really paying attention. It's where I felt that I'd like to read on to find out what happens with the survey. I understand how the background before that is needed, with the truck driving award, meeting with Deborah, learning to use the Internet and all, but perhaps this could be shortened in some way?

I feel I'd like to have had Les show some more concern for matters in his country and problems people experience before the connection with the survey is made (just some of his emotions shown), which would have made me feel closer to him and find him more appealing as a protagonist at the start. Just something a bit more to his general air of "a humble, ordinary man". His excellent answer to the survey shows first signs of a hidden brilliance and potential to me, but some more hints of this before that would be great, I feel. It would help to draw in any reader like me who lean towards fantasy and don't easily get into literary fiction with protagonists who totally appear to be "average" in every aspect. From the pitch I could know that this must gradually get exciting, but for me the first three chapters still took some effort to stick around, mainly 'cause it just gave off the average vibe so much. I feel that this could translate into slight dullness if not careful. Just a hint at an unseen, more passionate side of the protagonist (maybe one which he doesn't realise himself, such as his concern for others, justice or whatever. He can still be reluctant later.), just a taste of it even for a moment, might serve as a little promise of what's to come.

I normally don't read a lot of this kind of fiction either, but I really liked chapter 4 (Deborah turning out to be rich is kind of unexpected and makes it more interesting) and from this I think I might like to read on. Many others here certainly have and seem to have loved it, and I can definitely see the appeal in your storyline.

I truly wish you the best,

Cloey

PS From his answer, Les has my vote for being president, too. :)

Hello, just wanted to comment a bit on your chapter in your book. Great plot I will say, got that by reading your pitch, it told me I just had to read this. Also, unless your a truck driver, know a truck driver, or have a family member that is a truck driver, then good research on truck drivers. I'm not sure the general public knows about thier log books for thier drive time. And if that award letter was fictionalized, it look very professional and realistic. Great way to sell this chapter and make the reader want to keep going. On another note, just wanted to pass you some information that has been passed on to me by a literary agent that I was going to do business with but parted ways. What he said however, did make sense, but it's something that is minor, when your picked up for publication the publishing house will take care of it. However his point is the more you do to edit your novel the less the publishing house is going to charge you for editing. His term was word economy. Meaning, if you can get your point stated in a sentence using two words, just use the two words and can the rest. The principle is to keep the reader reading verses to make the reader start skimming through your work. Point in your story where I think of his advice is you have a few places where you have Tom and Les talking and you added like Tom said or Les said. Those are two words that can be eleminated since at that point of the story we know Its just them two standing there talking. Unless of course you change the rotation of then speaking or you wanted the reader to know that Tom said something sarcastically. Well hope my advice will help out, it looks like your book is doing well on this site and I am also going to back your work to help you get there faster. If you ever get the chance please see if you could take a look at my novel Angel. I just have the prologue and two chapters uploaded. My pitch is horrible and I plan to redo that soon. But if you have the chance please look over my novel. I do have a habit of over looking easy mistakes, maybe you could pinpoint some.



Thank You, and have fun.

Terrill L. Davis

I enjoyed chapter 1 and will come back to read more. I like the description of the camaraderie between the drivers and the description makes me feel like I am there with them. Your pitch caught my attention as it could really happen if you weren't careful. I like Les and want to read more about him when I get through the owed reads list I have.

I really enjoyed the book,would love to read the ending.
Warren Bishop

I'm going to write little comments as I go along here. I have to say from the opening three paragraphs I had a very slight, oh-stop-feeding-me-backstory-about-the-main-guy kind of itch, in the back of my skull. I think jumping into the dialouge, which you handle really well I have to say, and feeding these things in later perhaps would be better.

And too, how important is that one of the first things I need to know about this guy is that he's owned his own truck for 15 years? I'd say that's fairly insignificant stuff that can come back in a lull in the plot and he's reflecting back on his life or something, if ever. I'd say too that usually what hooks me on to a book real early is either the strength of the prose, ie the voice, or an amusing/shocking/thoughtful scene, not back story. I say this sort of hating myself for it because I know there are exceptions and--gulp--I do the same damn thing in my book. My only excuse for doing so is that it's in first person and hopefully the voice is compelling enough to pull you through, maybe not, maybe you'll read it some day and decide yay or nay.

In either case, the more I'll read of yours the more I'll comment. I hope you'll message me if you want to argue the merits of your opening :)

OK, I'll bite. I've read the review. Overwhelmingly I am wondering on which side of the pond it was written.

OK, the manuscript needs some work. What book doesn't? Take the new Testament. You know they have four gospels incorporated where the whole story could be told with one. Who edited that anyways and what is the Bible's genre anyhow? I see history, religion, lifestyle issues, etc. Talk about your cross genre. The Bible ain't easy to pigeonhole either.

This reviewer would probably have the crucifixion on page one. Fill in with all that historical crap later. Action is what sells. If it bleeds, it leads, I believe the newsies say. After all, ( 'Such diversity would make the...' (book) '...very difficult to pitch...').

Well so what? Does everything written have to fit an exact 'pigeonhole'? Why? In fact I endeavor to say that an average 'life' contains daily elements that 'swing uncertainly between political, comedy, romance and thriller. without sitting particularly comfortably within any (one) of these genres.

' Hello! That's called life over here on this planet and Les Moore lives it the way many of us do, on the fly and shooting from the hip. We stomp out fires when they flare up and if it has been a good week we maybe have time for a beer.

I have read all 21 posted chapters without any difficulty in following the story, plot or tone. Yes, Lester Moore is a little two dimensional and bland, as are many 'real' people but by chapter twenty-one he is starting to get with the program. In fact Les is starting to come across as a man who is very difficult to steamroller as Jack Allen finds out.

Additionally I do not see Les as the right wing freako that the reviewer finds. Nowhere, in any of the material written does Les espouse anything that would cotton to becoming a 'mouthpiece for conservative ideology. In fact I see the opposite without a descent into the morass of liberal utopianism. No, Lester Moore is 'one of us.' He is imperfect, shy when someone forces him center stage and he is true to the manners and mannerisms that have seen him through life. He is not slick, nor would the groundswell of support have been forthcoming were he. The United States is, after all, a nation of whiskey drummers and bible salesmen. We all grow up reveling in the fruits of marketing pogroms,slimy PR campaigns and propagandist hucksterisms of every single sort, and every one of us can spot a phony.

I think 'The Write In' is a damn good story with legs and I am still writing in Lester Moore for President. Raymond Terry/RT

Sorry HarperCollins, but I think you're wrong. Perfectly polished it's not, but the story is still a good read. I'd still buy it to find out how it ends.

OK, I'll bite. I've read the review. Overwhelmingly I am wondering on which side of the pond it was written.

OK, the manuscript needs some work. What book doesn't? Take the new Testament. You know they have four gospels incorporated where the whole story could be told with one. Who edited that anyways and what is the Bible's genre anyhow? I see history, religion, lifestyle issues, etc. Talk about your cross genre. The Bible ain't easy to pigeonhole either.

This reviewer would probably have the crucifixion on page one. Fill in with all that historical crap later. Action is what sells. If it bleeds, it leads, I believe the newsies say. After all, ( 'Such diversity would make the...' (book) '...very difficult to pitch...').

Well so what? Does everything written have to fit an exact 'pigeonhole'? Why? In fact I endeavor to say that an average 'life' contains daily elements that 'swing uncertainly between political, comedy, romance and thriller. without sitting particularly comfortably within any (one) of these genres.

' Hello! That's called life over here on this planet and Les Moore lives it the way many of us do, on the fly and shooting from the hip. We stomp out fires when they flare up and if it has been a good week we maybe have time for a beer.

I have read all 21 posted chapters without any difficulty in following the story, plot or tone. Yes, Lester Moore is a little two dimensional and bland, as are many 'real' people but by chapter twenty-one he is starting to get with the program. In fact Les is starting to come across as a man who is very difficult to steamroller as Jack Allen finds out.

Additionally I do not see Les as the right wing freako that the reviewer finds. Nowhere, in any of the material written does Les espouse anything that would cotton to becoming a 'mouthpiece for conservative ideology. In fact I see the opposite without a descent into the morass of liberal utopianism. No, Lester Moore is 'one of us.' He is imperfect, shy when someone forces him center stage and he is true to the manners and mannerisms that have seen him through life. He is not slick, nor would the groundswell of support have been forthcoming were he. The United States is, after all, a nation of whiskey drummers and bible salesmen. We all grow up reveling in the fruits of marketing pogroms,slimy PR campaigns and propagandist hucksterisms of every single sort, and every one of us can spot a phony.

I think 'The Write In' is a damn good story with legs and I am still writing in Lester Moore for President. Raymond Terry/RT

I think you need to tidy it up a bit, such as at the very beginning, you have the character congratulated on "winning a prize" but you dont say what the prize is?

Just little niggles like that. But I think the book taps into American's current disillusionament with its electoral system and the fact it gets run by those with the money.

Great Plot and narrative

Dear Emmett,

Finished reading you book, it is very well written and deserves to be on the editors desk. A very enjoyable read.

All the best Eddie

Read the first six chapters and enjoyed the story so far very much. Well written and a very interesting idea. I can see why it has obtained such wide and well merited support. I'm in no doubt it will hang on to its ED slot and could very well be published some day. All the best with it!

This is a great plot and narrative

Just read 2 and 3 and it's probably only worth saying Good Luck seeing you are #2. That said if you have to wait for your review and are polishing my take is you should hurry things a long a bit and condense the Laptop stuff in Ch2, get to the personal reveals a bit quicker. The line "Doris told her at 11 I was not her father" was the sentence of Chapter 3 for me, I was starting to skim a bit before I got to that.

Great plot indeed, It must reach market soon.

I've read up to chapter 6 and it has been fun building up. It's well written, but very American with the usual ball-breaking ex-wife, the easy going hero and the prospect of the 'little man' making good.
Quite amusing his early struggles with a PC, though I still think he picked it up too quickly!
The culture of long-distance drivers seems well researched or even experienced by the writer?
The easy writing style means you can chew up the chapters before you know it and all in all so far it looks an enjoyable read.
Can see a film...John Goodman as Les?
Starred, regards, Mark

There is such a warmth to your writing. I thoroughly enjoyed this. Well done.

I'll definitely be backing this when I can! I'm loving your story, and I love the issues you bring up. We're on the same page. I was just loving it. It's always nice to see someone else with some common sense. ;) I read five chaps, and I didn't see any errors--you write very well. The storyline is awesome--fluid and humorous. I'll be coming back for more. I sincerely wish you the best!
If you have the time and inclination, would you mind commenting on Revelation and Revolution? I'm really working hard on it, and I'm trying to get as many opinions as possible.
God bless, and have a wonderful day!

--Shieldmaiden

Hi Its a great plot. I will read it.

It seems a great plot; worth reading. I backed it and rated. Soon, I will read.

I read this in one-sitting,
I thoroughly enjoyed it, and what is better - I would buy it.
Your writing is clear, your characters are believeable, and you clearly understand the current pulse beat of the political arena.
Nicely done.

Hi EM! This is one of the most polished pieces of work I have seen on authonomy - no wonder you're up there on the ed desk! Congratulations, and good work. I was so excited when Les won driver of the year - it's the little awesome fun bits like that that makes a work attractive - and your style is easy to read. You have obviously listened to criticism and tweaked your work to make it easy to read. Thanks for sharing, top rating!!

-The Write-in-

(Based on what I’ve read so far, which is chapters 1-11)

Wow, talk about a feel-good book! This must be one of the most heartwarming novels I’ve ever read. My spirits have not been great of late so I’ve kept returning to The Write-in over the last couple of days and it honestly has been something of a tonic.

The reason for this is the main character, Les Moore. The big draw of the novel is that you get to spend time in the company of such an unassuming, honest and gentle man. He has a way of dealing with people and of seeing things that really make you root for him. In short, he has a good heart. I can’t say I agree with all his political positions but I know if I were to debate them with him he’d let me have my say and wouldn’t make an argument of it.

The other characters are well-drawn too and add a lot of colour to the story. Deborah is great as a potential love interest, and I’m betting her cash comes into play when the presidential race gets going…. All the other truckers, people in diners and random folk that Les meets on his travels help to build a real landscape of a story. There’s something of the road trip in The Write-in that makes you feel you’re discovering America. I did feel the lefty newspaper guys out to stitch up Les may have been a bit over the top as villains but that probably, check that – certainly – is influenced by my own political leanings, as apathetic as those leanings may be.

The dialogue is great throughout. You really get a sense of the characters in their speech and there plain and honest way Les converses adds to his charm.

The plot is excellently woven in. No need to rush things, everything is well-paced and builds, builds builds…. I have to stop reading now as a headache is cutting a valley down my forehead but I shall return when I can. Things are getting very interesting….

Some chapter by chapter notes….

Chapter 1:
-Very good opening. Les is well-characterised in his conversation with his mate and in the dignified way he handles Yogi on the radio.
-A switch in POV! OMG! Didn’t you know everyone is incapable of following that? It’s absolutely impossible. I’m amazed my head didn’t explode ;-)
-There was a sentence in there about someone going to law school that left me a bit confused. At the time, I couldn’t tell who had gone to law school: Les? His colleague? Les’s kid? The colleague’s kid?

Chapter 2:
-More very good, gentle characterization – this time of both Les and Deborah. There is an innocence to Les’s lack of PC skills and Deborah is instantly set up as kind, intelligent and ballsy in the way she helps him.
-Deborah is described as ‘a blonde-headed woman’ and then straight after we hear about her ‘blonde, shoulder-length hair’. Might be worth cutting/replacing of those ‘blondes’ to avoid the repetition.
- There’s a part where Les says ‘Please, come in,’ where I thought she was already in his cab. Not so?

Chapter 3:
-The development of the relationship between Les and Deborah is skillfully mixed with Les’s backstory, which leaves us rooting for him even more.
-There’s a part where we hear Les understands Deborah better than the previous night when she had been dishing out instructions too fast. I can’t say I had the feeling at the time that her instructions were too fast for Les tough.

Chapter 4:
-The competition entry is a very good plot device and the way it’s handled, with the entry time coming so close to the wire, makes it gripping as well. Very good chapter.
-A nit-pick in that Les’s e-mail to Deborah has a lot of typing errors but the competition entry that he writes straight afterwards is flawless. This doesn’t seem to fit.
-Good backstory on Deborah and her husband.
-Typo: ‘she might to receive a mail from a fellow.’

Chapter 5:
.-The phone call with Doris is another very good piece of characterization in showing that, although he’s a nice guy, Les won’t be pushed around.
-The ‘he replied sarcastically’ tag after Les’s speech seems unnecessary as his tone is clear.
-Les’s comments on the immigration issue show him to have a sober view of things and a sense of fairness.

Chapter 6:
-Very good all round. I liked the way Les found out about the article. Not much more to add….

Chapter 7:
-The call from the news network really sets things going. We get a sense of the plot taking over and Les falling further into something beyond his control. Excellent stuff.
-Typo: ‘more prospective on the issues than I could.’ Should be ‘perspective’.
-Les’s familiarity with the iPhone seems at odds with t´his earlier inability to work the laptop.
-‘Please thank Larry for me,’ he responded sarcastically. Again, the tone is clear so the tag isn’t necessary.

Chapter 8:
-Good set-up of conflict, danger ahead for Les.
-‘Jack Allen was exactly this example.’ A bit unwieldy, this sentence. Something like ‘Jack Allen was one such man,’ would run more smoothly.
-Typo: ‘I found out that he is Long Beach California.’
-‘Besides, she got her news from the Internet, having like many that lose their spouses early become a surfer by day and night to occupy her time.’ This sentence really needs some parenthetical commas to make things more understandable for the reader. Like so:
‘Besides, she got her news from the Internet, having, like many that lose their spouses early, become a surfer by day and night to occupy her time.’
-The same issue with ‘But, like many in the world had given up.’ Should be: ‘But, like many in the world, had given up.’
-Excellent backstory on Deborah.

Chapter 9:
-Excellent plot-thickening and the radio voice is very well executed.
-‘What a strange day this has been?’ There should be no question mark here.

Chapter 10:
-No need for me to take any notes here. Excellent stuff throughout.

Chapter 11:
-More great characterization in Deborah’s interaction with her son.
-The website comments were an excellent device to get more of Les’s Character in.


This is an immensely readable, well-writing and uplifting piece of fiction. It strikes me an eminently marketable so I’ll be extremely interested to see what HarperCollins has to say about it. Golden business opportunity right here, guys!

Best of luck with it,

Ross

Like the pink drumming bunny, this book just keeps on going. Congratulations Emmett. #2 is a marvelous achievement. C

Congratulations on getting into the top 5! The Write In has been on my watch list for several weeks, but I thought it was about time I dipped into it.

Lester Moore is an appealing and believable everyman. He's not getting rich, but he likes his job and is good at it; it seems his only reward is a laptop computer and a bonus. He's got health and money problems, like most of us these days. It will be easy for the average reader to relate to him. The way he and the other truckers talk seems true to life, and by riding along with him, we learn a lot about the life of a trucker on the road. I was charmed that he called for computer help on the CB. It's exactly like going on an internet forum!

You could improve the pace of the story by tightening the prose in the early chapters. Some easy and painless ways to do this: 1. don't tell the reader that Lester noticed something. Let the something happen and Lester react. It's his point of view, so the noticing is implied. 2. limit the use of passive voice, which tends to be wordier than active. 3. make dialogue do double or triple duty: advancing the plot, revealing character, and foreshadowing events to come. Harder and more painful is reducing exposition and backstory. You need to know it all, but the reader probably only needs some of it, and not that much in chapter 1. Get into the story, show Lester doing things and meeting people, and fill in information as needed. (His conversation with Deborah at breakfast is a good example of how to do this naturally). Repeat things only if they are truly important.

I noted just a few edits for correction in the three chapters I read:

Ch 1
"I bet your enjoying . . ." You want you're

. . . those who complemented him . . . you want complimented

. . . hear this now?, delete the comma

thanhe needs a space

. . . he said to himself amusingly. A chuckle followed. "Amusingly" isn't quite right. Maybe something like, . . . he said to himseld with an amused chuckle.

X-wife should be ex-wife

Ch 2

"Yes, it is. Les . . . You need a close quote before Les

"Les smiled. My dad used to say that . . ." The opening quote wandered. It needs to be before My

There was something awfully luring about Deborah Lester's presence. You want alluring, I think.

Throughout, you are occasionally missing the space required after a line of dialogue and the whatever comes next, but that will be easy to fix.

You've got a great and timely idea hear, and I hope it continues to get attention.

Karen Eisenbrey
CRANE'S WAY
TIME SQUARED

I backed 'The Write In' on the strength of the idea for this story and the way E.M. Delaney has presented Lester Moore. I say that because many people have for so long perpetuated stereotypes of truck drivers that are demeaning where my experience has shown me that truck drivers are some of the best people I have ever met. Oh sure, there are a few bad apples, just as might be found anywhere in America and I won't claim different, but on the whole truck drivers are salt of the earth. Lester is such a man. His finances are upside down, his family life is a mess yet he does his job without complaint. He is even learning to use a computer.

In fact truck drivers like Lester Moore work twice as many hours as most Americans for half as much money and they do that every day under some of the worst conditions you can possibly imagine. Invariably they deal with rain, snow, bad traffic, and road destruction, constriction or construction as you may characterize it. They also have to handle foul tempered, or sometimes even stupid dispatchers, insane HOS regulations, unrealistic delivery schedules and cops with a perpetual hard on for the largest piece of equipment on the road. Truck Drivers are America and if you have read the bumper sticker you will realize that 'if you own it, a truck brought it'.

It is therefore refreshing to read a story about such a man who without pretense finds himself in the middle of a political storm when all he wants is a better life for everyone, a life without interference from grasping avaricious politicians or rationalist guidance from the largest government on earth.

(As an aside, it was just such rationalist policy from the government of Alameda California that allowed police and firefighters to stand idly by yesterday and watch a man drown while they did nothing. Officially they were not trained in water rescues. I wonder if the woman who went into the bay unaided was so trained? I'd be willing to bet that she simply saw a person in need and responded as a real human being would. Regrettably the man did die in spite of her efforts. Thank you unnamed lady. You are a true American.)

If you like a good read, then stay with 'The Write in'. It is bound to be a hit and I see it as a best seller. One thing I can assure you all is that when the polls open for the 2012 election I shall proudly stand in line with many other like minded Americans to Write In...Lester Moore, for President. RT

Gee, I'm almost scared to read this one, looks like if I do, I may have to knock someone else off my shelf!! Congrats on being up there at number 2!!!! I'll be reading your work soon. :)

One of the few books on Authonomy of which I felt compelled to read every line. Brilliant. Can't say much more!

EM, How sad am I that this is all that is posted. I read this non-stop. Not only is your MC Lovable, passionate and a poster-child for the american dream, but he his captivating and draws you into his life from the second his words are typed across these pages.

You are so talented, your writing is effortless, your character development is flawless. You almost have us believing this guy is our neighbor. There was a time in our county when men like this were the norm and not the obsolete. This is a story full of hope and promise. It is a reminder of what's truly important, yet forgotten, and a testament to the golden rule, love thy neighbor as thy self...

I love your style, humor, and sarcasim, it's just enough.

Your pace is perfect and I think Les could be a beloved fictional character. I can't wait to see where you take Les, and I love the way you expose the modern with the old ways. Being 50 and a writer, I feel just like Les when it comes to techno stuff, give me back my pen and typewriter anyday.

I truly believe this is a WINNER in every sense of the word. You show family values, human passion, and the cracks in our society all under one title...BRAVO Backed with complete enthusiasim Patricia aka Columbia Layers of the Heart Starred and backed with gusto.......

The Write In

Interesting and compelling story with lucid characters surrounded by innovative framework. Great work, E.M. This should be on its way to the Editor's Desk.
Backed and starred.

JC

The Write In

By Emmett Delaney

Chap 1: good start - strong, almost aggressively bold delivery.
3rd para, wouldn’t mind a comma after friends (,) was a welcome break.

Straight-away into vernacular like pheromone. If you know, like that instant familiarity, then you’re fine. Heat, dust, sun in the windscreen, clear cut, male, grip, hurt, work, tired, all swallowed in that manly, trucker way, and he never wins. Will that change?

The name Daily worries me slightly. Give us our daily- Not that it matters particularly.

‘...said tom, ‘making reference’ to a medium sized ....’ clunky, how about, nodding to?

Quite like the apparent ingeniousness of Les, his integrity. You painted an awkward soul in a trucker’s skin. Watch out for the X wife, she might end up in the files. Ex is fine.

Firs impression: hear those tyres on the road, stacks of true grit, suffering, heart history and an almost touching distrust of modern technology, which suggests an ultimate mastery of the world: regular guy is the one everyone trusts, because he is everyone.

Well stitched together, some clunky bits and Marlboro Country takes, but nothing that a few tweaks wouldn’t sort out.
All very blokey and convincing, not my glass of tea, but will read on.

Chap 2: learned about the issues in previous one, need to know if he’s going to get his show 'off' the road.
Nice female voice, like her. Overall, v good dialogue, even though it is totally alien to me, and appallingly drawling to the ear. I’d get rid of italics; the context ought to serve the emphasis, also the exclamation marks.
The exchange over the radio is quite amusing, altho isn’t there such a thing as radio protocol? Good device, tho, us not seeing her and going through the intrigue with big boy Les until we do.

You don’t need the 'colour' black (black is a colour, altho some would contest that as it is a lack of one ) as in last chap of computer, or colour hazel in this. Hazel green eyes, is good. ‘Magnificently coloured’ Hair is magnificent, isn’t it? Stunning for eyes, perhaps?
When Deborah shakes his hand and stares this stranger in the eyes, she is evaluating her safety. You could say that more crisply. Staring at him, gauging etc, and use a new line for her intro and his thoughts? Presume this meeting has future is significance.
Have there been problems for women in those parts? She’s very wary.

Reading on, blimey, more bloke than he.
Slinging her hair to the side, with a toss of her head, she stepped .... is better than 2 shes, altho a bit tarty.

I suppose you do need this explaining of the computer and the ‘uh huh’, ‘neat o’, ‘yup’.
Nods, raising and eyebrow in acknowledgement, even, or else the dialogue becomes like a farmyard.

It is well done, right enough but a tad protracted. I get the picture, computer illiterate meets fluent speaker, humbled, and he fancies the teacher.
Ooow, yuckie: eyes with personality, and they not only hypnotise, they lock. Come off it, Emmett, you don’t need the clichés. You write fluidly enough. You’ve got trouble with the female characterisation, and need to fancy them yourself? Yeah, I fall in love with mine all the time.
Sorry, that is an outrageous assumption. Forgive?
What do you mean, he says, ‘Oh, God, she’s caught him staring’? How could he fail to, poor sod? She’s been pinning them on him since they first met, with hypnotic, locking and magnificent hazel green colour intensity.
Yikes, she’s after Les. I know the sort, she’ll control him, force him to do things against his better judgement - a blonde Lady Macbeth, who knows a down-on-his-luck-sucker, when she sees one.

And she can operate on two hours sleep, if necessary. Oh, yeah, can Lester, I wonder? She’ll kill him.

Cultured? How so? And then we have the sizing up, like cattle. Can we leave that to later, like when we can have a longer more leisured view of this ‘magnificent’ specimen?

End of. Phew, we’ve met Deborah and learned how to master a computer. I liked this wonderfully eighties - altho it isn’t – a period piece in a genuine setting, delightfully summoning up a lonely, gauche middle-aged man, alongside a competent female of dubious intent. You can’t help but feel for Lester, even if he’s unable, yet, to feel (for) himself.

Chap 3: Yes, he couldn’t sleep, and played out his fascination on a new device.
I can see that Deb has given him the key to Pandora’s Box, facilitating the foray into the political arena. Makes sense.

She calls him. Good.
‘Bright teeth’ worries me. Christ, then we have ‘choppers’. Emmett, for pity’s sake, keep to the poet for a while longer, she’s turning into a rabid dog by the sentence.

Second thoughts about Debs MO, but you don’t need her to say sorry, apologetically, it boils the cabbage twice, so to speak. Offered her hand, rather than 'extended' it, like a lead.

End. Nice, but not all happiness with your descriptions of his new infatuation. He seems to lurch about, and the narrative seems quite awkward in parts, considering his newborn feelings, which are quite tender.


Chap 4: I suppose it is necessary to have the broken speech emails, to demonstrate the lack of competence, okay.
Owner Operator who owns his truck. Well he would.

Getting a bit strange around here. Our ‘umble Lester, all of a sudden, when confronted by the generic question, what would you do if-- is in command of a computer, good vocabulary, a steady hand and an eloquent and alien estimation of his abilities. He is a trucker possessed.
Ending with the coy, ‘I’m just an average truck drive, so I don’t much’ – Oh, come off it, you’ve just been enlightened in a way that some spend months in caves or deserts waiting for.
Then he reverts to clod-like self-doubt, and I want to kick him in his shins, altho they'd be so tough, he wouldn't feel it.

Down page, we see Deborah and her mom; seems quite sweet and completely innocent. Regret imputing her with dastardly intent.
What’s with the ‘Deborah Marie Canfield?’
Reader imagines: Mama, hands on hips, wiping her mouth with a white pinny, ‘Weylll a doo de-clayer’. Gone With the Wind style, or whatever.
Learn about Deb’s former relationships, and tragedies.

‘You are still only a young woman, baby.’ Give over, this is her mother.

Leapfrogged to Chap 11. Wrong about Deborah, we haven’t really developed that much in the relationship department, and are deep in Write Ins. Les is doing very well with his keyboard skills, considering Deb looked into his eyes and thru to his soul only four days ago. Now the lass is tearfully submitting her support to the erstwhile plonker-cum hero?
Will the big man she taught, remember her?

Les writes, ‘Well, Mick things are moving pretty fast.’ Telling me they are. Do things happen with such speed in America? I recall the film, ‘Being There,’ which wasn’t that good, had a similar idea, but slightly more surreal.

I’m leaving it here, but have scanned the concluding chapters, well the ones you have up anyway.
My impression is that it is a good story, with possibly a bitter-sweet ending and some rather nasty elements – met a character called Battle.
You seem as a writer to know your characters, the dreams they reach for and weakness they succumb to. I detect a battle between the brutish and the poetic voices in this characterisation, so am not always sure what kind of story this is or writing it is; literary? Uncertain.
It is almost like you are biting at the leash, waiting for a chance to rush into a riotous blood bath of the ruthless, heartless world of politics, but then at the last moment remember some decorum and turn another side to the reader, which you are unable to sustain - against your nature.
The style is straight talking but rather brash, a rough diamond, perhaps.
The dialogue throughout is believable, but then becomes corny. In fact, you’ll have to make a concerted effort not to be corny. The concept as a whole is not unusual - there’re 'poor sod makes good' tales aplenty, but maybe he doesn’t make good. I don’t know. May be a fat trucker makes good with lovely lady, and he’s as reviled as if he had got the top job.
There are some dirty dealings afoot, methinks, and for the page turning to find out how and why, it is an easy, if in places, wincing read. So in sum, the book does work, I get on okay with Lester, and want the best for him and am interested in the outcome. The language can put me off, tho.
Not my glass of tea, but good luck.

Thanks,
Billie

Great concept! I love the subtle humor you weave throughout the story too. I'm not an English major or a critic, but I enjoyed it. And that's all I want out of a book.

The Write In

Hi EM

Lester is a great creation, this unlikely and heart-warming tale of accidental success and its considerable down-sides is nicely played. I've been reading it for a few days and what struck me again and again is the three-dimensional nature of your character, Lester drives this book like Owen Meaney drove John Irving's epic. There was much the praise here, much to enjoy, I think you do dialogue particularly well, but I also like the skill of your observational eye in capturing the minutiae in a way that is very far from boring. The only irksome bit I found was the way you derogated the power of that first line by qualifying it immediately, I wonder if you can avoid doing that somehow. It was such a neat beginning, epic, grandiose and like a fable but then to say, well, actually apart from...weakened that power of that first line.

Consummate stuff, very well done and will make it onto my shelf sometime very soon, I wish you the very best of luck

Best wishes
Andrew W
Benevolence

Hello Emmett,

Excellent characterisation accompanied by a compelling tale. Starred.

Best regards,

Clive
The Sounds of Silence

Hello,

Thank you for the read request, I have read up to chapter 5 this morning, I would like to read more but I doubt my boss would appreciate it!

The storyline is fantastic and Lester is a great character! He is very human and trustworthy, very likeable indeed. I really do love the relationshop between Lester and Deborah... and the trucking world..not something I have ever known much about but it's a pleasure to learn!

I think the book has wonderful potential so I have added to my W-L and rated 6*.

Rebecca

The Write In by E M Delaney

The main character in this book drives the story. I've read very few books where I felt like I knew the character as well as I know Les Moore. The author has made him human and I like that alot. He seems like a guy who could live in the neighborhood but displays the attitude and ability to embark upon the unique quest he aspires to easily. There is certainly something very special about Les Moore. I'd actually vote for the guy to be the president if he was real.

Mr. Delaney uses such down to earth dialogue that just feels real. He describes things the way a person who is very well traveled would. The love story between Les and Deborah is amazingly realistic. Their meeting, the development of the relationship and the realistic way they are, all give the story great appeal. I liked the fact that they are two very normal people thrust into a very abnormal situation.

I have to say my biggest reservation about the story was the premise being so unbelievable. A truck driver running for president(?) After reading it I found all apprehension eliminated as the story introduces a very plausible suggestion for how it all could actually happen. In this day and age of overnight successes and the power of the internet I wouldn't be surprised to see a rise in write-in candidates in the future.

The Write-In is a fantastic book. Very different, quite entertaining and well-written. The 'underdog' theme makes the reader root for the MC and identify with him. The book flap piece / the pitch I guess is right on the money and I woulod buy this book on an airport rack in a minute. I could also see this story becoming a movie quite easily.

I enjoyed reading the start of this sweet story. It has a very relaxed pace and a nice simplicity to its story telling. Nice idea, too. And an unusual setting, which makes for an interesting read.
I spotted a few little typos and the like in the 6 chapters that I read, so I’ll send them to you in a message. You might like to fix them before Mr or Ms Ed starts reading it. Good luck with it.

Sorry for not getting back to thiss ooner. My internet has been horrible lately, and it's refusing to load most webpages.

First I would like to say this is a unique story. I found the main character's name amusing, although I'm sure any person in real life with such a name would be tortured throughout their school years.

Second, I would consider changing this sentence, I found it confusing :
After all, he'd been an Owner-Operator, leased to them for fifteen years following another twenty as company driver.

With a little work, you'll be ready for the editors desk. i wish you the best of luck.

Nice job. Vivid characters, well defined, and a fun and original setup. You've really got something here, and I'm eager to read more.

And now, I hope you'll take a look at mine.
If Carl Hiaasen and The Office had a baby, it might look something like ANIMAL CRACKER.
Can a bunch of smart, sassy women get the goods on their boss at Boston’s venerable Animal Protection Agency? Hal Mason is Brad-Pitt handsome, with a Harvard professor wife and an adorable but shiftless son who wins the heart of Diane Salvi, the organization’s new communications director and the book’s narrator.

The malapropping, narcissistic Hal, famous for his animal-themed ties and jokes, has managed to earn the adulation of the organization’s board of directors and the scorn of his staff. When his negligence leads to the dogshit literally hitting the fan, Diane and her reporter roommate Genie set out to dig up some dirt on him, with a little help from friends in the office.

There's never a bad time for a fun read in which the good guys (or gals) wreak vengeance on a conniving boss who deserves no less.

Thank you for considering ANIMAL CRACKER.
Best,
Andi

Nice job. Vivid characters, well defined, and a fun and original setup. You've really got something here, and I'm eager to read more.

And now, I hope you'll take a look at mine.
If Carl Hiaasen and The Office had a baby, it might look something like ANIMAL CRACKER.
Can a bunch of smart, sassy women get the goods on their boss at Boston’s venerable Animal Protection Agency? Hal Mason is Brad-Pitt handsome, with a Harvard professor wife and an adorable but shiftless son who wins the heart of Diane Salvi, the organization’s new communications director and the book’s narrator.

The malapropping, narcissistic Hal, famous for his animal-themed ties and jokes, has managed to earn the adulation of the organization’s board of directors and the scorn of his staff. When his negligence leads to the dogshit literally hitting the fan, Diane and her reporter roommate Genie set out to dig up some dirt on him, with a little help from friends in the office.

There's never a bad time for a fun read in which the good guys (or gals) wreak vengeance on a conniving boss who deserves no less.

Thank you for considering ANIMAL CRACKER.
Best,
Andi

Nice job. Vivid characters, well defined, and a fun and original setup. You've really got something here, and I'm eager to read more.

And now, I hope you'll take a look at mine.
If Carl Hiaasen and The Office had a baby, it might look something like ANIMAL CRACKER.
Can a bunch of smart, sassy women get the goods on their boss at Boston’s venerable Animal Protection Agency? Hal Mason is Brad-Pitt handsome, with a Harvard professor wife and an adorable but shiftless son who wins the heart of Diane Salvi, the organization’s new communications director and the book’s narrator.

The malapropping, narcissistic Hal, famous for his animal-themed ties and jokes, has managed to earn the adulation of the organization’s board of directors and the scorn of his staff. When his negligence leads to the dogshit literally hitting the fan, Diane and her reporter roommate Genie set out to dig up some dirt on him, with a little help from friends in the office.

There's never a bad time for a fun read in which the good guys (or gals) wreak vengeance on a conniving boss who deserves no less.

Thank you for considering ANIMAL CRACKER.
Best,
Andi

You are back on my watch list for when I have a space. I hope you will reciprocate. Cheers, Eunice.

The Stampman’s Orphans Group review. (part two)
The Write In
Hello again Emmett.

Chapter 5 - Another insight into Lester’s world of quiet dignity in the face of bossy ex-wives and alimony. Well written.
I like this a lot - pointing out some serious issues in a conversation between average working guys - things I suspect that will become important later on. Really good, and extremely enjoyable reading.
It’s probably a UK American thing this, but the word unordinary threw me. Inordinately seems to sound better to these across the Atlantic ears. Absolutely no reason for you to change it of course, but I thought I’d mention it in passing.


Chapter 6 - I’m beginning to see how important Les’ job is in the shaping of the book. Very clever story planning. The revelation that he is in effect the talking point of the nation is both funny and exhilarating at the same time.

Chapter 7 - The next phase of the story is moving along really well now. I don’t know much about American politics but I believe in the plausibility of an ordinary man getting an opportunity like this - his slice of the American dream. It works brilliantly well as far as I’m concerned.
The only thing I could point out as a slight negative in this chapter is the amount of times now that the dialogue moves along via the phone. Due to Lester’s location and it’s still only chapter seven of course. It is unusual and serves as a novelty at the beginning, but too much long distance interaction might not be so good for the book overall.

Chapter 8 - The cynical world of the mass media is closing in now and the story jumps up a notch here I think. How will Les deal with this vastly new world he’s thrust into? We’re moving on now. (Just a thought, but not sure there needs to be as much info about Deborah’s property and finances - at this stage it creates a huge gulf between the millionairess and the trucker and makes a possible relationship seem rather implausible. I do apologise, but it was a feeling I couldn’t shake off.)
Good ending to the chapter with the old lady and the young photographer. I love the tempo of the piece. You certainly know how to pace yourself Emmett.

Typos; only one I found.
- just as walked out of the door.

I wish you all the best with your review, which is almost certainly on it’s way now. I’ll keep The Write In on my shelf until you do.
All the very best.

JJ.

Hi Emmett. I'm really enjoying the 'Write In'. I'm a housewife in the UK so it was brilliant to be 1out on the road in the USA with Les Moore in his Kenworth. The terminology and dialogue are convincing, as is your characterisation. Les is an honest and likeable character. I'm definitely reading going to be reading 'moore'! You're a man who has the Midas touch, with an amazing imagination and a great story to tell. Kind regards, Kat

The Stampman’s Orphans Group review.
The Write In

Hi Emmett.

The critique below is from the reader in me and not the writer, so I’ll start from the very beginning and share my feelings as I get deeper into the book.

First up - because of the setting in chapter one, I thought it might have a kind of languorous ‘lets introduce the characters’ feel to it - but on the contrary, I found myself into the story almost immediately. Les and his work buddies have regular Joe written all over them, (almost smell the engine oil on Lester’s clothes) and no matter what side of the pond the reader is on, the guys are easy to relate to (owing to the very laid-back dialogue you use - not wooden as I see from a recent comment). Intriguing from the off, imagining how such an ordinary man is going to cope with the giddy heights described in the pitch.

The exchange between Les and Deborah in the truck is really quite charming - Lester and Lester, I loved that bit - establishes a bond right away, and reinforces the goodness of the man’s nature.

Chapter three had a similar feel to the previous one, felt the dialog was good - consistent between them. I know truckers know how to put in the hours and his interest in Deborah might add to his excitement, but it occurred to me that he was very animated for someone who hadn’t slept all night though.

Chapter four, and we begin to get into the business end of the novel - and Deborah does have feelings for the big guy. It’s all shaping up very nicely Emmett, The Write In has a marvellous feel-good element - this occurs almost immediately into reading. Lester - you’ve just got to love the guy… very down to earth American hero - like a modern day Mr Smith (as in ‘Mr Smith Goes to Washington’).

Couple of minor things;

- chapter two, you described Deborah as the blonde headed woman, and in the very next paragraph gave a description of her blonde hair once more. As I say, very minor, but thought it worth pointing out.

Typos
- thanhe
- she might to ‘receive’
- to he ar from you.

Hopefully this is of some help Emmett. I will be back tomorrow with some more.

JJ.

I only comment as a reader and I comment as I read so it tends to be a bit “gut reaction” type of thing. I hope that’s okay for you.

I see that you have tried very hard with the dialogue to make it “natural” but at times the flow is just feels to me slightly wooden.

Parts of it are a bit “wordy” I know we all struggle to cut out unnecessary words but I do think this could benefit from a bit of a pruning. For example “The man was calling out his CB radio handle, or pseudonym, used by most drivers as a nickname.” Most of this is unnecessary; nearly everyone knows about CB Handles and especially if they are interested in a book about Truckers.

Then again “Yes it is Yogi, What’s up with you today?” Only my very humble opinion but something more like “Yogi, What’s up – come on back” is more natural. And again “I appreciate it Yogi. You probably should have won it this time though.” For me a more natural response would be something like. “Thanks Yogi. Shoulda been you though.”

I am already drawn to your main character, he feels convincing and “real” and the relationship between himself and his friend comes over as genuine.

I loved the bit about him trying to open the computer and I know that happens because my dad did the very same thing with his first one. You really need to prune some of this it is in danger of becoming boring at times. (I am not trying to be offensive but I think you have to acknowledge that although Les doesn’t know about computers most of your readers will and so you can cut this down quite a lot).

I will rate this and wish you the very best of luck with it. Your characters are very convincing and it is a fascinating world that they inhabit but I’m afraid that I feel it needs quite a bit of tightening up as my interest is wandering. I will leave you on my list and try to come back later.