Book Jacket

 

rank 5919
word count 12848
date submitted 08.02.2011
date updated 12.03.2014
genres: Fiction, Science Fiction, Fantasy, ...
classification: universal
incomplete

Eadric

Robert Musselle

Eadric was an ordinary man… until the Vikings arrived.
James was an ordinary man… until Eadric arrived.

 

A Viking invasion, a curse set, a legacy begun.

In the 11th century a naïve band of farmers are called to arms to fight the imminent fret of the invading Vikings. Under prepared and over powered the ragtag gang of would be warriors quickly succumb and life as they know it is changed forever. A curse, set upon them by a Viking warlock, changes the course of their live and the lives of their ancestors from that day forward.

In the 21st Century James is about to discover that the beast within him is no longer just a metaphor.

Eadric was an ordinary man… until the Vikings arrived.
James was an ordinary man… until Eadric arrived.

 
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tags

, beast, beasts, cursed, danes, dragon, fiction, inflicted, legend, manifest great, monsters, mythical, norse, shapeshifters, tenage, true-nature, vik...

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11 comments

 

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Ruth Hannah wrote 1136 days ago

You pitch is great! It really grabbed my attention.
This is a really interesting well written book. That is easy to read.
You have great characters!!
Ruthx
(A New Day)

Cariad wrote 1139 days ago

Okay. I've read chapters 1,2, and 3 and also chapter 6. I think the pitch is interesting as I said - it attracted me to the book, and I think the story idea is a good one for the intended audience. The glimpses into both the past and the later date is one I enjoy, and also quite popular with the younger readers I know at school.

I did hit on a good few bits of punctuation etc. that stopped my read, and I offer them here since they are the sort of thing I find useful when people read mine - things I've missed, or am a bit shaky on. As I always say, I am just one reader, but if you are looking for such details and not just an overview, then I'll give them here:

Chapter 2 I think - can't check back without losing this post. - '...basics that were needed for survival, the main item....' I feel needs a full stop rather than a comma - '..basics that were needed for survival. The main item..'

livestock - one word.

Capital G for God/Gods, and here you need an apostrophe 'God's wrath...'
'...married my wife at the age of fifteen, this may seem odd....' I think again needs a full stop. after fifteen, rather than a comma.
I think there's a misplaced comma in '..she would, prepare food, ... etc.' - 'She would prepare food,.. etc..
unless you preface the list with a : 'she would:... etc.
'...hard days labour...' - hard day's labour..'
'... expected to pull they're weight...' - should be 'expected to pull their weight...'
further on - 'into London' rather than 'onto London'
'supicious of the new king, he was not held in..' again, a full stop after king, rather than a comma?
'...I held that strength of believe....' - should be strength of belief..
You mention the vikings -' every one built like oxen..' - singular - every one built like an ox. If you are talking about all of them - all built like oxen... but each singular one would be ox.
blood thirsty - one word. bloodthirsty.
You have a few places where I think you need a full stop rather than a comma - something to look out for.

You also mentioned the 'tragic and suspicious death of Osric' - I wanted to know what, how, why it was tragic, why suspicious?

chapter 3 near the end you have - 'I saw from the corner of my eye, the glint of there weapons....' - should be 'their weapons...'

Generally I like the story, but I felt I'd have liked to know him and his people better, more intimately. You tell us a lot of what he does and where he is, and about his wife etc. but we don't get any dialogue, or to see him in his daily life, to get to know him, to hear him talk, to get to know what he's like by his speech and actions and I think we need to, in order to care about him because we feel we know him.

I like the start where he mentions how most people want to find the secret to eternal life, but he doesn't - he wants to end it. This immediately makes us wish to know why this is, as it's so contrary to natural instincts. You have a good story idea here, full of history and vikings and all that good stuff. I feel you need to have a bit of an edit re the things I picked up, and some comma use, to make the read better and do the story justice. I will be reading on to see how it develops especially with the modern day parts that I've not really got to yet.

I hope the things I mentioned are useful - I don't want it to read like a great list of mistakes - but we all have those, and I like people to point them out to me. As ever, you can take or leave what anyone says, and I think you have a promising story here when done.
Cariad
STONES.

Cariad wrote 1140 days ago

Stumbled on this as I was going to bed. Like the pitch, like the style on a brief read. Will watchlist and read and comment tomorrow.
Cariad
STONES.

Matt Clarkson wrote 1143 days ago

Very interesting read.

Fleck wrote 1147 days ago

Not something I’m normally interested in but a gripping read none the less, fascinating storey line backed with detailed graphical character really brings this book to life! Looking forward to the next one – A*

Jarman wrote 1149 days ago

I was really drawn in to this book straight away, haven't had time to read it all, but will keep coming back until I do. Very intriguing, great stuff.

Adelais wrote 1165 days ago

An interesting story- should be told in slightly more detail. There are several misspellings; hoard should be spelt horde and principle principal. I assume that the kings Alric and Olric are fictional, although they bear some ressemblance to Ethelred the Unready and Edward the Martyr respectively.

Lynne Ellison

The Green Bronze Mirror []

Hi

Thank you for your feed back, I have written very little previously and so appreciate all feed back so as to improve my work, I have written another 40000 so far and once I have edited them appropriately I will upload them, if you are interested in reading any further. I shall amend the spelling errors, thank you for pointing them out, I have searched the documents over and over but still miss some.
Thank you for taking the time to read my work
Best regards
Rob

Lynne Ellison wrote 1166 days ago

An interesting story- should be told in slightly more detail. There are several misspellings; hoard should be spelt horde and principle principal. I assume that the kings Alric and Olric are fictional, although they bear some ressemblance to Ethelred the Unready and Edward the Martyr respectively.

Lynne Ellison

The Green Bronze Mirror

faymus03 wrote 1167 days ago

Absolutely love this book so far! The storyline is original, interesting and definately makes me want to see more of this book. Really enjoying the characters too as they genuine and believable, especially james! Hope to see more of this book very soon!

SusieGulick wrote 1168 days ago

:) will comment on your book as soon as I have read it :)

kmms wrote 1168 days ago

i love this book so far!! its not my normal genre as a 30 year old woman but after stumbling across this little gem i'm totally hooked. the style of writing/ language is very easy and comfortable to read. i easily found myself trotting through the snippy chapters totally engrossed in eadrics world. lovely job and i look forward to reading more from robert musselle!

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