Book Jacket

 

rank 820
word count 43410
date submitted 10.02.2011
date updated 03.01.2013
genres: Fiction, Romance, Fantasy
classification: adult
complete

Isa.Bella

Cheryl Deetjen Thuente

Young Isabella discovers a set of magical nesting dolls in a dingy old thrift shop. The dolls drive her to search for love and approval.

 

The magic in a set of nesting dolls goes untapped for generations. The fate of them looks dismal until a young girl, Isabella (Isa) finds them in the bottom of an old cardboard box. Notes and wishes that she stashes in the hollow outer dolls are attempts to release the magic she knows they hold, but she carries the core doll, Bella, with her everywhere to overcome a growing sense of inadequacy as she faces her first crush, first kiss and first love. Isa is a distracted girl growing up though, and the dolls are lost or forgotten from time to time. She finds herself observing life from the sidelines, unable to live for herself. It's as if every decision depends on someone else to show her the way before she can take action. She feels unworthy when those people move on with their own lives. As life throws challenges her way, Isa finds the dolls to help her get through. Blessings to some feel like insurmountable obstacles to Isa as her life plays out amidst hoarding and indecision. She has to break through the hollow shells of her own world to learn to take responsibility and finally love herself.

 
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tags

fiction, growing up, nesting dolls

on 13 watchlists

18 comments

 

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FRAN MACILVEY wrote 853 days ago

Dear Cheryl

There is a dream-like quality in your writing, which is rewarding and refreshing.

However, I do feel that for the magical aspects of your story to come alive - and I know they can - you need to give your writing a thorough, ruthless edit for syntax, grammar and smoothness. There are jolts in the writing as well as some loss of meaning, which sit uneasily within this fairy tale. If you find pruning difficult, perhaps you could find someone to help you. The brush up and polish would be worth it!

All the best

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped" :-)

cheryl deeten thuente wrote 872 days ago

thanks tammy! congratulations on moving in to the top five! well-deserved....
thank you for your feedback on isa.bella.... i appreciate the editing notations and also your commentary on my book.

Hi Cheryl,
Plein-air – I’m not sure what this means?
There are some speech marks before “Catherine screamed as she… - which I don’t think are in the right place?
“What kind of life would that have been to properly raise a child?” not meaning to speak aloud – I’m wondering if it should be “What kind of life would that have been to properly raise a child?” she said, not meaning to speak aloud.
I LOVE this first chapter! It’s such a beautiful tale. It’s a little rough in places but I think that adds to the charm. I’m hoping that we hear more about Obeah though, did he ever find another love or did he die lonely and heartbroken?
Happily backed and will read more when I can :-)
Tammy Robinson

kiwigirl2011 wrote 874 days ago

Hi Cheryl,
Plein-air – I’m not sure what this means?
There are some speech marks before “Catherine screamed as she… - which I don’t think are in the right place?
“What kind of life would that have been to properly raise a child?” not meaning to speak aloud – I’m wondering if it should be “What kind of life would that have been to properly raise a child?” she said, not meaning to speak aloud.
I LOVE this first chapter! It’s such a beautiful tale. It’s a little rough in places but I think that adds to the charm. I’m hoping that we hear more about Obeah though, did he ever find another love or did he die lonely and heartbroken?
Happily backed and will read more when I can :-)
Tammy Robinson

cheryl deeten thuente wrote 886 days ago

karen.... thanks so much for your support... i appreciate your sharing your reactions to isa.bella. i am half way through your book right now and am very intrigued. i will post again when i'm finished....

The idea that Obeah's magic dolls have come into the posession of the young Isa many years later is intriguing and a little scary. Isa is concentrating too much on her wishes, and as the story unfolds you get a feeling of unease as Isa becomes a bit obsessed with Bella while concentrating less and less on her real world. An interesting idea which draws the reader in. Well written and well executed in the way it shows that magic can be dangerous.
highly starred and shelved
Karen 19
The Way Things Are

karen 19 wrote 887 days ago

The idea that Obeah's magic dolls have come into the posession of the young Isa many years later is intriguing and a little scary. Isa is concentrating too much on her wishes, and as the story unfolds you get a feeling of unease as Isa becomes a bit obsessed with Bella while concentrating less and less on her real world. An interesting idea which draws the reader in. Well written and well executed in the way it shows that magic can be dangerous.
highly starred and shelved
Karen 19
The Way Things Are

cheryl deeten thuente wrote 1131 days ago

thanks phyllis! your comments are so much appreciated.... i will be happy to look at your stories... cheryl

Hello Cheryl, This is a heart-warmingly charming story, well written and described. I have read the first two chapters and would like to read more. It is therefore going on my Watchlist. I wish you every good luck with this, it deserves it.
I would be grateful if you could take a look at either of my two stories please: PAPER DREAMS or A PASSING STORM.

Best wishes to you
Phyllis

Phyllis Burton wrote 1131 days ago

Hello Cheryl, This is a heart-warmingly charming story, well written and described. I have read the first two chapters and would like to read more. It is therefore going on my Watchlist. I wish you every good luck with this, it deserves it.
I would be grateful if you could take a look at either of my two stories please: PAPER DREAMS or A PASSING STORM.

Best wishes to you
Phyllis

sorr79 wrote 1134 days ago
hawkskan wrote 1145 days ago

Very creative. I really enjoy the way your writing provokes my imagination to create the images you describe. It's genuine and thought provoking.

Su Dan wrote 1153 days ago

concise writting make this a very good read...good flow and narrative show off your skills; on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

tnicol wrote 1154 days ago

This is beautifully written Cheryl. I can see the cabin, the lake, the waterfall, and feel the woodsman's broken heart in your words. And I'm only through the first chapter. It's awesome. T...

cheryl deeten thuente wrote 1156 days ago

thanks so much, bea.... i appreciate your support.... it is much appreciated!

Cheryl,
I popped by to have a read and . . . Good heavens! Your first chapter is absolutely fascinating. I will place it on my WL. But I've read enough to feel generous about sprinkling some brilliant stars your way. My brother, John Campbell, told me of your work. Thank you for your support, and I wish you well here at Authonomy. I see you've climbed nicely already.
Cheers!
Bea

Bea Ware wrote 1158 days ago

Cheryl,
I popped by to have a read and . . . Good heavens! Your first chapter is absolutely fascinating. I will place it on my WL. But I've read enough to feel generous about sprinkling some brilliant stars your way. My brother, John Campbell, told me of your work. Thank you for your support, and I wish you well here at Authonomy. I see you've climbed nicely already.
Cheers!
Bea

missyfleming_22 wrote 1159 days ago

I like your narrative voice in this, it's young and energetic which fits perfectly with your target audience and the subject matter. You've got an awesome idea here for a story. I have a couple sets of nesting dolls and there is something about them that fascinates me, maybe they do have some kind of magic. Great characters and after three chapters, I see a lot of promise in this. (I'm not very good at editing and looking for things to critique, I come at it as a reader instead. This reader enjoyed.) I'm really intrigued to see how this develops. Good luck iwth it.

I've starred you for now and I'll put your book on my shelf when I get a space in the next week or so. It deserves it, in my opinion!

Missy

cheryl deeten thuente wrote 1161 days ago

thanks so much! i am enjoying your book immensely. i appreciate your patience as i learn to navigate this site.... cheryl

SusieGulick wrote 1162 days ago

:) I will comment on your book as soon as I have read it :) - let me know. :) Love, Susie :)

Walden Carrington wrote 1162 days ago

Cheryl,
Isa.Bella is an enthralling novel with a very imaginative plot. I love Isa's magical discovery and how she finds treasure in some old dolls. This is sure to enchant young readers of the fantasy genre. Rated with six stars for a very original storyline.

Walden Carrington
Titanic: Rose Dawson's Story

Nigel Fields wrote 1162 days ago

Hi Cheryl,
Very polished writing, and in my opinion, this earns 6 stars.
Cheers!
John B Campbell

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