The Sandra Pagan Diaries

Jill - this is such a good read. I'm laughing and identifying all over the place! As has been inferred already - this is the 'Dairy of a Provincial Lady' for our time. I'm so envious of this book because I think it's going to be top ;) It's something different and boy do we need something different on here! Good luck with this - it's going in a pink 4x4 onto my shelf right now! Alison

Dear Gill,

Thanks for your comments on BB. Hope you'll feel it's good enough for you to shelve at some point. And I do sincerely hope I won't break your heart with it.

R

Dear Gill,

This is very interesting. And very funny. Bugger is the greatest word in the English language, and you use it wisely.

May I suggest a few changes in the first chapter (totally subjectively, of course). I'd junk paragraphs 1, 2, 3 and 5, and start :

I have been afflicted with mental constipation for long enough and enrol..." Gets the reader straight in. You could then incorporate the cut paras as you go along, and before you go to the one hour on the Monday.

I'm bookshelving this, because it's a lot of fun.

R

Have just finished the third chapter. This reminds me in the best way, of the excellent Diary of a Provincial lady -brought up to date, of course. I think you have a splendid way with words and the admirable ability not to take yourself too seriously. This is one of those bizarre, very original scripts that, if there was the merest smidgeon of justice in the world, would be a Christmas best seller. i'm going to have to read on to find out whatb else your musings alight on- I'm hoping for the I can plan the best birthday party competions and the after-school-activities treadmill. Great stuff. I'm bookshelving this because I'm convinced it's going to zoom up the ratings,
Jak

I really liked the story and enjoyed your writing. This is something I'd buy and read on a rainy afternoon. It had that snuggling up quality to it. I'm sorry I couldn't think of anything more clever to say....it's great.

Missy
Mark of Eternity

I love this. It's wry, poignant and very funny. You have a lovely sharp turn of phrase and couldn't see any issues in the three chapters I read. Well, I'd lose the second 'etc' in the first paragraph, but from that you can see how truly minor any quibble I have with this is. Anyway, thank you for making my morning cup of tea most enjoyable.
BAcked with pleasure
Carl
The Time Hunters

This is a good book of short stories. I didn't read these in any order; just bounced back and forth. I like the idea they're all different; a person can pick and choose one corresponding to their mood of the day. Your writing style is good for short stories; clear and brisk and often very funny; no extra time spent on descriptions, etc. You also know how to save a punch for the ending - the mark of a good story. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Gill, your first two chapters are crazy--crazy good. This has the makings of an entertaining read. Nothing to fault in those two sections.

Backed with pleasure.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Brilliant! SHELVED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get a chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Gill

Well Hampshire Mum.....I am a Middlesex Mum, and I enjoyed the read here......A social bible, well done and good luck with it....

shelved.

I was nodding along as I was spluttering, your everywoman rantings really struck a chord with me, and will with a lot of other women, I suspect. Backed.

Hi, I have read a small portion of your work. I am looking at your writing.... effective intro, whether you slow the story down with too much back story, if your characters come to life quickly, your descriptive powers, the rhythm of your prose, and other features that are genre specific. I have approached your read from the point of view of genre and market – different styles for different minds. I have judged my work to the best of my ability, but punctuation, the over use of !, grammar, spelling, are the remit of my wife so don’t think I have judged these elements at all (I only wish I could – I could leave my wife then).

As your writing is good, I back your book. I don't expect you to back mine, but if you are just in it to climb the charts to get to Ed's desk, and don't want the hassle of reading mine deeply, just back it.

On the other hand, if you would like a more penetrating read, then please look at my novel, Dream Diamond, and leave feedback that isn't a regurgitation of the past few comments without bothering to read it. I get so many clusters of similar comments that one feels utterly worthless and is left wondering if they one is good at writing at all. If you do ask for deeper feedback and have submitted negative criticism, I still will reciprocate honestly, and will not enter a tit-for-tat comment, as I have found happens to me quite often when I get honest (and I can be brutal). Also, I will not rewrite large sections of your work in my style, which I personally find unbelievable that some authors here feel that there is only one way of writing and we all should be the same. I will work with your style, and learn from it. Please state you would like a deeper read on your comment.

Now, I am not going to be able to focus on your book holistically. I haven't the time to read entire books. Your overall plot structure, your ability to weave mystery or give a great ending, or the way you drag in the middle is really not in the design of this site. What I suggest is that you find someone whose comments you trust, become there friend, and see if they will swap books and ask for analysis of longer portions. Eh, maybe form cluster writer's circles within authonomy.

You may wonder what prompted this approach. Quite frankly, I haven't the time to spend months, reading everyday, all day, to reach an editor who, from past data, in all probability will not accept my book for publication. I could write another book in the process. Secondly, I have put so much effort into the work of others who quite obviously only paid scant attention to mine, and given some fit-all comment that means absolutely sod all. If you don’t like my system, then message me, telling me why: I am just trying this system out, by opening 5 pages of the book chart simultaneously, selecting a book from each, reading it, and posting this if I think the book worthy (If I have nothing good to say, I never comment anyway).

So, here is my gift to you. You are BACKED because you deserve to backed. You have honed your craft to at least not make an agent quiver. Whether you book has the exceptional quality to put it above the hundreds of other great writers here, I cannot say without a deeper read, and even then, don’t deem myself worthy enough to judge. Reciprocate if you want, no worries if you don’t.


BACKED.

ps... smiling at some of this by the way

So basically, I am positive I have read this.
It is great.
Some of the things you say struck such a deep chord that I laughed out loud.
Backed.
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

Hello Jill, I have to back this: it is great, and don't we all suffer from mental constipation? Your reflections are very amusing. I always say that having children makes you mindless and it isn't until they grow up that you suddenly become you again. And then other problems arise - like their lack of money. SHELVED. Good luck . I am going away for a few days and fully intend to read more on my return.

Phyllis Burton
A Passing Storm (If you could just have a peek at my story, it would be appreciated)

Hello Jill, I have to back this: it is great, and don't we all suffer from mental constipation? Your reflections are very amusing. I always say that having children makes you mindless and it isn't until they grow up that you suddenly become you again. And then other problems arise - like their lack of money. SHELVED. Good luck . I am going away for a few days and fully intend to read more on my return.

Phyllis Burton
A Passing Storm (If you could just have a peek at my story, it would be appreciated)

As I said in my message, I'm a (lapsed) blogger so i like the terse, staccato style of this and its self-deprecating humour. Does a blog a novel make? I dunno.... A few have succeeded but I tend to agree with Urania that you might be even better pulling this together as a novel.... Then again, that kind of wrecks the disjointed joy of it.... Ah, I dunno - but I do like it and am happy to back it.
Jane
WALKER

Jill, I came across this by accident, and I'm glad I did. This is downright funny, very well written, and although it's preently in diary type format, I think you could make it into a great novel. You have the words, the wit, the humour (albeit very English and there's nowt wrong with that) and a sparkling stylish heroine. (Yourself). Just give her a plot and transform the whole thing into a hilarious novel. In this format, yes, it works - and I think maybe light relief in the true life category of desperate tales of childhood, etc that rule the roost is definitely to be applauded. But if you have the time and th inclination, tighten it up, make a plot/novel out of it, and you'll have a great success there. Shelved.

Hi Gill,

I'm still chuckling as I write this - I jumped around from chapter 1, to 13, 19, then 24 to 26 - I love the short, diary entries and the rapid-fire pacing. Given that I'm a 44 year old mother of three, there was much here that rang true for me. Shelved with a knowing grin!

~Traci

hilarious compendum of scattered thoughts on family life , this is a book full of fun and hunour, wayward insights, surprises and laughs on every page .

"i must look like somehing verging on the incontinent norma desmond" at the campsite, after the french couple have been bonking in the showers, hilarious .

the style is light and breezy, it packs a punch, and is full of quirky asides .

shelved, and wishing you well with this .

freddie
("honour")

Gill,

The title of your first chapter made me chuckle. Then I read on and giggled some more. By the end of Chapter 2, I had a few laughs out loud. Your humorous, carefree writing style is a breath of fresh air. I am amused by some of your phrases, like, "postal confession." LOVE IT!!!

I love how you lightheartedly approach the soul searching lessons in your book. You have a Nora Ephron quality to your writing. We can never have enough writing talents like Nora, and women can never have too many pairs of shoes.

Backed with laughter,
Janine
MY KIND OF CRAZY

The Sandra Pagan Diaries

That deprecating honest humor that appeals to so many. Real. Some parts of this piece felt a little too close to home. I think you just need to connect things a bit more and you'll be off and running. Good luck On my shelf. C.P

I'm sure lots of parents will identify with your thoughts, actions , joys and sorrows as a mother, and I certainly did (as a single parent), but as you say in your pitch, these are random writings, and I'm afraid that's how they felt on reading. To get anywhere near good enough for publishing, the whole thing needs to be shaken up, heavily edited, and purged of excess. But it's a good idea, and I wish you luck with it. Best wishes, Tony.

This is a fabulous start:

“For some time - at least 25 years - yes at least - I've had the desire to delve deeper, to conjecture upon life and its deeper mysteries; asking the poignant, though rather obvious questions, who am I? What is the meaning of life? How many pairs of shoes is it reasonable to have? Etc, etc.
Now let me say from the onset that I do not set myself apart, there are, of course, numerous Macaronis who aspire likewise. What do we share in common? NO TIME TO DO SO !!! Then there are the Emperors who appear quite happy in oblivion - 'I drive an Audi, therefore I am' - sussed, no worries.”

This has to have immediate appeal to all who have thought thus.

It is also very funny:

“In my line of work I am often told I am a 'wise woman'. This immediately brings to mind some toothless crone living in a swamp awaiting a visit from Blackadder.”

Try this:

“Now my two friends are both gorgeous, intelligent and well travelled.... My learned friends suggested that a "Rabbit" would be the cure-all for all associated stresses of life. Hilarity ensued when I said I didn't like things kept in cages and it would only add to the stress factor as I would be the only one who cleaned it out....”

This author is a born raconteur:

“Ah yes, the Porsche Boxter,... In the summer months they are largely inhabited by ageing men in the ubiquitous baseball cap and Oakleys, accompanied by much younger blondes clad in Max Mara and Gucci, that the wife doesn't know about. She's stuck on the M5 in the 4WD with the kids, (one in pink),visiting her mother.

And me? Well this Macaroni got seriously shafted by the French, which would sound quite exciting but for the fact I'm talking financially. Bugger.... bought a Renault Megane Scenic on a 'special deal' which turned out to be more expensive than the debt of an African nation. However it's got two things going for it......
1) It's not pink.
2)It's practical. (Now I know I'm old....bugger).”

And tells it as it is. This is not Bridget Jones but she is just as funny:

“There comes a time in every woman’s life when the gods appear to be kind. In your late forties you suddenly feel vital, able to take on the world! Post-children your hormones make one last bid for youth and delude you into feeling fit, attractive and confident again. Enraptured with newfound zest you take up running....
Over the little bridges and on toward ‘The Trout’ I suddenly got the desire for a large brandy but felt sure there’d be a sign saying ‘No Dripping Joggers’. Finally, with the storm at its height we reach the safety of my chum’s aged Golf. As we head back through Itchen Stoke the windscreen wipers decide to pack up, so we now have a touch of Ellen McCarthy in the Southern Ocean about us!...
They’ll be sorry when I’m fit and gorgeous thought I, reaching for a chocolate croissant”

A must read. Thoroughly enjoyable. Backed.

You are writing to a very large market here: every married woman over 35, especially if they have a family they are trying to hold together. I look at my wife of 28 years, watch her juggling a job and the home life, always not enough time, never giving herself a break (even when I persuade her, after much talk, to let things go), and I just KNOW that she would love this book. You speak to her in her voice and her context. She, and other women, would find vindication and identification for their lives here...and also, in an odd way, fulfillment. My wife would probably tell you (except on certain days) that she does consider herself fulfilled -- just that there is not enough time! Shelved, of course.

I took your advice and randomly selected chapters from the Sandra Pagan Diaries - actually the mouse chose them. I love your tongue-in-cheek musings and asked my wife for her views. She said this would make a good in-flight read where you have to keep putting it down because of the ministrations of the cabin crew. No complicated plot to follow and some well written thoughts that lift the spirit. Makes a lovely change. Backed.

Wonderful reading. Still on my shelf.
You have a fabulous self deprecating humour that grabs the reader
and leads her or him into a lotta laughs.
Congratulations!.......Mikey ...........The Free

Gill, this is refreshingly innovative and delightful. Great job - as far as finding a publisher, I'm not sure it will be easy since it takes intelligence to comprehend all the layers of your writing.

Gill, Wow, an Erma Bombeck in an English Voice. This is funny and entertaining. Loved the lizard story in ch25 and the line: The husband has a similar escape route known as "Well I didn't know, no one told me." I'm a husband and I use that one all the time. Thanks for the fun read.
Steve Ward
Test Pilot's Daughter: Revenge

Hello Gill,

This is a very insightful book that I would recommend not only to mothers raising a family, but also to the fathers and persons involved in family affairs whether as relatives, older siblings or family friends. Well written and very captivating with witty lines.

All the best.

Janvier (Flash of the Sun)

Gill
Some very random thoughts in here. I like the questio of whether the mea ning of life is being a sex toy and having hair pulled out by an Eastern European lady.
The writing is pretty good although I favour less (or no) parenthesis and ditto exclamation marks! :-)
Your work is amusing and well worth developing. This could be a BJ Diary type if you give it structure and a plot. Have a go it could be fun.
Good luck with your writing. It's shelved.
Chris (I Dare You)

Sandra, this is one of the most enchanting books I've read for a long time, on Authonomy or anywhere else. Hope it's a huge success for you. backed.
Lynn

Hi Gill, 'Mary Poppins on speed' made a great picture in my mind, and I like your very true observations. Shelved! Agneta

You have all the fragments here Gill, begin to put them together like a broken platter and you will have something very amusing. The roots in a blog are obvious but I am not sure whether this would succeed in book form. May I suggest something? Read my 'Shakespeares Cuthbert ' and Morvens 'Quest' they are both on here. They will give you different ideas of how your sense of humour can be used. You have a good eye for the absurd and a great turn of phrase. All you need now is the method which suits you, good luck. On my shelf Patrick Barrett (Shakespeares Cuthbert)

Hi there,
I have popped in on this before but now I'm back to leave a comment ;-) This really appeals to me, you have a great premise and I can say that I am a mum in the unravelling sweater! Some of your observations made me laugh and so much of what you say is true. This is well written, it's witty and fun. I hope to be able to dip into this regularly, it's that kind of book. On my revolving shelf!
Bests,
AnnabelleP
(Adelaide Short)

Hi Gill.

You hook the reader right away with your kind tone and humorous views on man's eternal quest. One of your funniest lines is the reference to searching for the "answer" on line- and to watch out for the term, "initiation ceremony." I too order the books and receive the weekly flyers but avoid initiation ceremonies. Good theme for the brain- constipated, enema. You are on target when stating that as soon as one acquires knowledge, one must decompress for a while, effectively returning to the less desireable habits from brain overload. Great recommendation that it is better to travel than reach the destination. Clever comic relief when discussing such a deep issue - the wee/bush episodes. (Do no boys go during the school day?) Your humor intensifies with cars. Very funny about getting shafted financially and great fun to appreciate a car because it is not pink and is practical. You can write.

On my shelf. Great work.

Janet Marie - Spirit Prisoners.

Bwa-ha-ha! This reads like a well-toned and yet anarchic stand-up comic routine. In fact I could see you on the stage of the Comedy Store. The Hungarian? Brilliant. The school run? You could do a book on that alone. What a breath of fresh air this wise woman is.

This is a lot of fun, Gill, and very cleverly done.

Shelved after reading the first five chapters.

Gilly - you've come a long way..... I am seriously loving your latest work!! Can visualise this frighteningly easily!
Wonderful, as always:-) x

Very poignant, very funny. Were you ever a gangsters moll?

a superb humorous look on life.

why say more when it's not needed-TJ

Very funny with wonderful observations about people in everyday life. When I read, "I drive an audi, therefore I am." I knew I'd love this! Great work. Detailed comments coming to your email!

Cheeky, Post Modern and Very funny.

Not my thing usually, but I enjoyed the first two chapters a lot. Enough for me to want to read more once I get a chance, and certainly enough for it to earn a place on my shelf :-)

Backed.

Gill, what bliss. Read first three chapters and giggled. Lost myself in a very familiar place. You are so refreshing, a breeze to read and I think we all need to allow ourselves to indulge in this sort of stuff. Very English in it's self deprecating nature and use of irony. I possibly agree with Richard P S re where the start should be, but it flows as it is and I was drawn in swiftly. Love the perfect last word of chap one! Going on my shelf and hope you do well with it. Judith

This is great. I love the way it is written as if it is a woman just having a bit of a rant about everything. I can just imagine her in a coffee shop saying all this to her friend. It reads very well and it written in a believable style. I made me laugh a few times, including in the first paragraph which is a great start. By the way on that note - how may pairs of shoes is it reasonable to have? I am going to put this on my shelf. Best of luck with it. Clare

This is great. I love the way it is written as if it is a woman just having a bit of a rant about everything. I can just imagine her in a coffee shop saying all this to her friend. It reads very well and it written in a believable style. I made me laugh a few times, including in the first paragraph which is a great start. By the way on that note - how may pairs of shoes is it reasonable to have? I am going to put this on my shelf. Best of luck with it. Clare

Gill, this was funny. "Rabbit." lol. I can relate on so many levels. I enjoyed your light style and little jabs here and there. The beginning was a little slow, but picked up by mid page so I'm not sure if it's worth mentioning. I'm sure you'll do well since most people want to read something they can relate to and you can definently relate to this. I'm not really good on the line edits, so I'll leave that to the more qualified. Good luck with it. Linda

I've read the first three chapters and despite my miserable mood have found myself smiling at the general musings of a mother. Its a fun read and as the chapters are short it keeps the reader engaged. Easy reading but not totally predictable nor too fantastic to be unbelievable. i'll be visiting the book again.

I've read the first three chapters and despite my miserable mood have found myself smiling at the general musings of a mother. Its a fun read and as the chapters are short it keeps the reader engaged. Easy reading but not totally predictable nor too fantastic to be unbelievable. i'll be visiting the book again.

Jill - this is such a good read. I'm laughing and identifying all over the place! As has been inferred already - this is the 'Dairy of a Provincial Lady' for our time. I'm so envious of this book because I think it's going to be top ;) It's something different and boy do we need something different on here! Good luck with this - it's going in a pink 4x4 onto my shelf right now! Alison

Jill - this is such a good read. I'm laughing and identifying all over the place! As has been inferred already - this is the 'Dairy of a Provincial Lady' for our time. I'm so envious of this book because I think it's going to be top ;) It's something different and boy do we need something different on here! Good luck with this - it's going in a pink 4x4 onto my shelf right now! Alison

Hi Gill
This looks like a book I can identify with! Putting you on my watchlist but I'm sure it will be on my shelf by tomorrow. Good luck with it. Alison (Tales from Under the Awning;To Set My Feet a-Dancing)

Hi Gill
This looks like a book I can identify with! Putting you on my watchlist but I'm sure it will be on my shelf by tomorrow. Good luck with it. Alison (Tales from Under the Awning;To Set My Feet a-Dancing)

hello gill, yes i read your forum have put book on my w/l, will probably be on my bookshelf next week, i have a lot to read so please give me time. if you want you can look at my book avondale women, i can't do a link, tried failed miserably.
julie

Dear Gill,

Thanks for your comments on BB. Hope you'll feel it's good enough for you to shelve at some point. And I do sincerely hope I won't break your heart with it.

R