Book Jacket

 

rank 315
word count 114666
date submitted 24.02.2011
date updated 06.03.2011
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Science Fiction
classification: moderate
complete

The Roswell Protocols

Allan Burd

A spaceship crashes and we'll do anything to capture it. But so will Russia, Canada, and Japan. The covert battle begins... but beware the survivors!

 

Inside the Cheyenne Mountain Complex, an object is detected on radar rapidly descending to earth. Just moments before impact, it vanishes, crash landing somewhere other than originally predicted. Where? No one knows. But the ripple effects are felt worldwide.

In a mountain chalet, an innocent children’s book author is about to be frightened to the very core of her soul.

In the Kremlin, a war hero is once again summoned to serve his country.

In Japan, a determined general sets a daring plan into motion.

In California, an expert in kinesics, the science of body movement, is about to be put to the test.

In Canada, the RAF takes to the skies. In Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, an order is given—Initiate the Roswell Protocols.

The race is on. A covert battle for the possession of advanced technology has begun. The winning country will be the sole superpower on the planet. But somewhere, on the crashed alien vessel, surviviors lurk. Are any of them truly prepared for what they’ll find . . .

 
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tags

action, adventure, alien, aliens, covert, military, ops, spaceship, thriller, ufo

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63 comments

 

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Tom Kendall wrote 1133 days ago

Have read Chapter 1 only so far. This is a great read. I just wish it was a proper book. I hate reading from a screen, I do not find it relaxing. This is well written, at a good steady pace, and draws the reader in. Backed and five stars.

dloganw wrote 1134 days ago

Hi Allan, Just finished the first six 'authonomy chapters' and am completely hooked. I will definitely read the balance. You provide great detail of the various locations in the book, most of which I'm familiar with. I've been to Moscow several times, lived in Tokyo two years and went to Stanford (Palo Alto). Enjoy reading scenes in places I know when the describtions are excellent. This is definitely the kind of book I would purchase to read. Good luck with it. I've not only backed it but given it a six star rating.

David Alden wrote 102 days ago

Loving this, Allan. Backing, high starring, the works. A brisk yet very informative pace. Like the transition from prologue to story, two different writing styles that play perfectly.

Like the character intros...real people, real situations...all to culminate, I'm sure. Trust me, I could read a bunch of characters talking UFOs all day...like the fact I can relate to the ones you've created.

Can't wait to get deeper into this!

David Alden
Polaris 10 Short Stories

Ry Guyiam wrote 173 days ago

At the Kremlin so far, good plot can't wait to read the rest.

Ry Guyiam wrote 173 days ago

At the Kremlin so far, good plot can't wait to read the rest.

Brian Bandell wrote 656 days ago

The Roswell Protocols has been recognized as one of the favorite Authonomy books of Brian Bandell, author of science fiction thriller Mute from Silver Leaf Books.

Here are my thoughts on The Roswell Protocols and the other elite level books by emerging authors.

http://brianbandell.blogspot.com/2012/06/my-favorite-books-from-emerging-authors.html

Brian Bandell
Mute

Natasha Vloyski wrote 844 days ago

BEST OF LUCK...Couldn't wait to get to the part about the spacecraft--the reader still doesn't get to lay eyes on it. I'll check this out later when its rewritten.

Natasha Vloyski wrote 844 days ago

Ch 10, 11, 12 Still too much information. Make the words and dialogue count. When this gets to the editors desk and it will if the author does a rewrite and pares it down, he'll be happy that he cut out half of this. As others have said already, show it-don't tell it.

Natasha Vloyski wrote 844 days ago

I think this would be better if we had two or three characters that the reader could identify with and invest in-such as the first three characters introduced in the book and then the other characters introduced along the way are just part of the ensemble. In other words, we- the reader- do not have to have extensive personal information about the minor characters if they appear only for a short time and are connected to the overall plot. The Japanese, the Russian are in the cast but not primary characters so therefore we need to know only how they are involved in the overall plot. Just my opinion...I could be wrong...but,

The author has done his research and we are skillfully put 'into' the scene. Used judiciously, this descriptive work heightens the suspensee. Still too wordy....

Natasha Vloyski wrote 844 days ago

Ch 4 could be condensed into one paragraph and it would still tell the reader what the action is, what part the general plays etc. Ch 5 Again the writer has all the skills; ability to use good descriptive language but just gets wordy. A person's paranoia and anxiety can be described in a intense, exciting moment, and not drawn out. Ch 6 Same comments. Actually, the story is unfolding slowly but steadily.

Natasha Vloyski wrote 844 days ago

Ch 2 The last third is much like the first two sections; the author needs to cut away extra material and reduce this all down to one scene, with very concentrated dialogue. I say make the words count to keep the reader intrigued and following along.

Natasha Vloyski wrote 844 days ago

Ch 2 The last third is much like the first two sections; the author needs to cut away extra material and reduce this all down to one scene, with very concentrated dialogue. I say make the words count to keep the reader intrigued and following along.

Natasha Vloyski wrote 845 days ago

Poor Lisa. We are bored with her a third of the way into this section. This issue of a gift and chocolates and dieting and sweatsuits-blah....blah....blah. Make this two paragraphs and it would fly. You have the ability to be descriptive you just go overboard into extraneous areas that just do not carry the story along.

Natasha Vloyski wrote 845 days ago

So are we looking at Chapter 2 and 3? Well - Part 2- Lots of description that doesn't really lend itself to improving the scene of the woman and her background. Better if it were condensed, And why do all women in novels have to be beautiful? That doesn't give them character. Yes, she has flaws- or at least the author tries to downplay her perfection by giving her some 'mental problems'. Let's hope there is a reason for this- everything has to have a point- a connection to the theme of the story. There are some darn good descriptions IF there weren't so many of them. Also some oddly worded phrases that irritate the senses. I say all of this because I think that an editor would take a blue pen to this- weed out about a third of it and it would make it great. Just my opinion.....

Natasha Vloyski wrote 845 days ago

First chapter is dense material, which means that there is a lot of information, lots of second-by-second action, bit dry, which tends to slow down any suspense that is being built rather than intensify it. However, it is style of writing that can be successful and many would not agree with me. What I noticed was a certain professionalism, the writing was crisp and intelligent. That puts you at the top of the list in my book. I will continue to read as the concept is intriguing and I rarely give up on a story unless it's awful.. P.S. I love Preston and Child novels. I also like unusual concepts that are not way,way far out. That would put half of Steven Kings books on my shelf.
Backed and supported.

jsault2003 wrote 890 days ago

You’ve developed some good dialogue and the nature of the conflict is crystal clear from the beginning.

I detect a power-packed opening that promises to attract and hold the reader’s attention.

I do have some concerns:

A.M. and P.M. are usually written as a.m. and p.m. (Chicago Manual of Style, 15th edition, p. 391)

Be careful with the telling as opposed to showing. You’ve already established the routine and the “sigh” you showed gives the impression of boredom.

“…replied the MP.” Attribution is usually written as …the MP replied (said, etc).

Two minutes later he and (comma between “later” and “he”)

Charlie anxiously watched the doors open sluggishly, then close menacingly behind him as the bus made its way inside. Too many adverbs cloud the impact of action verbs.

-apogee reading at eighty miles and heading down.” Wouldn’t the location, speed, and direction be a little more technical than this?

I would suggest not qualifying Charlie’s credentials right after he has advised the object has changed course. This has the effect of eroding the suspense.

The tension grew palpable….show the tension in the actions of the people involved (papers snatched from the hands of airmen) or by the tone and sharpness of orders issued (“Move your ass, Jones!”). Your storyline, writing skill, and the genre you’re writing in will attract some well-educated readers. Make them put their minds to work by partnering with you to figure some things out.

In my opinion, “The bogey disappeared from the screen.” Should not be buried in the middle of the sentence where it was placed. “Thirty seconds more passed when suddenly the unthinkable happened.” is the buildup to one important moment. Don’t hesitate here, give it to the reader in a separate paragraph composed of a one-line sentence after ….unthinkable happened.----------The boogey disappeared from the screen. There may be other sentences in the manuscript that deserve a one-line paragraph of their own in order to maximize impact. This is only one method.

The manner in which your prose is written did not inspire me to go on to Chapter 1. In my opinion, it does not have a smooth flow.

Your long pitch has a tremendous amount of potential, that of many nations racing to beat each other to a discovery that could change the course of world history. If you are going to build great expectations, then you have to meet them.

The best thing is that you have listed your book as complete. That suggests you have developed a linear plot (I gather that from what you have written in the Prologue) that proceeds to the climax. You’re done one of the hardest parts, getting from the beginning to the end.

I will pass this on to you, as it was passed on to me. An agent or publisher will only give you from one to five pages to convince them your manuscript is worth them putting more time into it (Noah Lukeman’s The First Five Pages and Jessica Morrell’s Thanks, But This Isn’t for Us). That has to be where your best writing occurs.

Jsault2003, author of Battle against the Beast
http://www.authonomy.com/books/38506/battle-against-the-beast/read-book/#chapter

subra_2k123 wrote 1012 days ago

Very interesting book for a sci fi lover. In fact my friend dloganw asked me to read your book. I backed it and starred it with pleasure.

Sandy Mackay wrote 1060 days ago

Hi Allan, Have read the first three chapters and am very curious about the bogey. Space and alien beings facinate me and your story has me hooked. The characters are well drawn and the locations described beautifully. Will return to read more. Good luck. Sandy.

Graham Jon Don Lench wrote 1064 days ago

Just read the opening chapter.very intriguing and will comment further as I carry on. I love science fiction. Will add to my book shelf and rate.

Graham Lench
The Eighth Day

Intriguing Trails wrote 1069 days ago

The Roswell Protocols
Fiction, Sci-fi 3rd person, multiple

Premise: A spaceship crashes and all the earth's major players are vying for the goods. Great premise, esp for those who believe in Area 51.

Mechanics: Very clean. I didn't see a single mistake.

Plot: After reading through Ch 1, I found the story to be engaging esp about half way through the chapter. IMO, the first 700+ words, (first half of the chapter) do little to ceate suspense or engage the reader. While the 2nd half is compelling and dynamic, the first half almost put me off. It probably isn't fair to judge the whole on just one chapter, but in fact, most publishers will and so will most readers. I'd suggest revising the start. Make every word do a job.

POV. I found several instances where the point of view switches between characters. Though it doesn't bother me and might enrich the story, it is my understanding that publishers take a dim view of this practice.

Pacing: As I mentioned above, the story is extremely slow to start. The second half of Ch 1 is very well paced and engaging.

Overall impression: I think the author has a fantastic premise and is very strong in terms of mechanics. IMO, with a minor revision to enhance the begining of the book, it has the potential to be a very marketable piece with very wide readership.
Rated generously 6* based on the premise, the mechanics and the potential. Backed.
Raechel
Echo

Clive Eaton wrote 1074 days ago

Just read the prologue to start with. You just sense something is about to kick off the moment Charlie Faber clocks in. Very well written with great detail, particularly when the bogey is spotted, that really drew me in. The prologue finishes on a great hook. Why the cover up? I guess I need to read more to find out . . . and I will. Just my kind of book.

Clive
The Pyramid Legacy

Red2u wrote 1082 days ago

Hi Allan: I generally do not read sci-fi but must say i was caught up with the pitch and read the first chapter. Vwery well written. I have rated and WL for further reading.
RED

Clive Eaton wrote 1099 days ago

Reading your full pitch this looks to be my sort of book. I've now put it on my watchlist. Good luck with it.

Clive
The Pyramid Legacy

Helen Rose wrote 1103 days ago

Wow, your book is really great. It's well written and extremely interesting. I'm so glad my friend David asked me to take a look at it.

Frank Sabetan wrote 1107 days ago

Dear Allan:
It is my pleasure to read your book. I really appreciate my friend--David recommend your book to me. I just start to read and I believe I will fall in love with your work. Good luck.

Scott S. wrote 1110 days ago

My friend David keeps recommending me to read your book. Once I started to read your book, I got the reason why he did that. Thanks for your nice work.

Rodentus wrote 1111 days ago

Hi Allen. Sci-fi is a hard misstress and little comfort when there is nothing really new in sci-fi. The idea is great,
it tells us what were are not and how far we have yet to come. Go for it

Medium_Al wrote 1111 days ago

Thanks for the kind comments. Quick answer. Initially the Canadian pilots were ordered to shoot down what they thought was either a meteor or space debris that was going to impact in a populated area. They were surprised to spot a glint of sunlight off of something metal when they closed in and the object then "vanished" before they could even get off a shot.

Hi Alan,
I've just read the first 3 chapters. I must say it is well written and realize you have obvious talent. I will read more later at the moment I'm still writing. One thing though. I wonder why the air force decided to attack the flying object before it found out if they were peaceful, or maybe theres a reason given in a further chapter. Still I've decided to back your book and am looking forward to reading more later.

HWelsh wrote 1111 days ago

Hi Alan,
I've just read the first 3 chapters. I must say it is well written and realize you have obvious talent. I will read more later at the moment I'm still writing. One thing though. I wonder why the air force decided to attack the flying object before it found out if they were peaceful, or maybe theres a reason given in a further chapter. Still I've decided to back your book and am looking forward to reading more later.

DLT wrote 1112 days ago

Awesome stuff man! I'll be back to read through more chapters. Wish I could purchase this on a book shelf!

Patrick Brockers wrote 1113 days ago

Hi, Allan:
Nice to read your book. I read David's Mankind's end last week and he recommended me your book. I think I will enjoy reading your book as well.

Patrick Brockers wrote 1113 days ago

Hi, Allan:
Nice to read your book. I read David's Mankind's end last week and he recommended me your book. I think I will enjoy reading your book as well.

Hero Xie wrote 1115 days ago

I like you book very much! Thanks to my friends Gary Xie and David Welch' recommendation I got the chance to know you and your book! Keep going~ I will back up you~!

Gary Xie wrote 1115 days ago

I've read the first three chapters of your book and found it quite interesting. I will read more later but have decided to back it and give it a good star rating. I'm glad my friend David Welch asked me to take a look.

Gideon McLane wrote 1122 days ago

"The Roswell Protocols" - Allan Burd. I read through chapter 3 (2 of Autonomy). Bookshelf for keeping the reader's interest (after a slow beginning). Some thoughts: major suggestion - flip your chapter 1 with your prologue - prologue is a little boring - you need to grab the reader immediately, not talk about how boring the airman's job and environment are to him (and the reader); chapter 1 - ". . . next eight hours..." delete "And he was." - is sentence fragment and redundant; chapter 2 - "Then a thunderclap..." - delete "Then"; "Then the rumbling. . ." - delete "Then"; I noted an overuse of "then" - you might want to check to see how often you use it and when possible delete it or rephrase the sentence. Hope this helps.

Gideon ("Thrill Writer's Remorse")

Roger Lawrence wrote 1126 days ago

I just found this. I like it and will read all you've done. Nice and pacey.

Frank James wrote 1130 days ago

Hi Allan,

I don't have a lot of problem with your work, I think It's a good read, right from the beginning. As is usual with me, if I like it I give it my BACKING and in this case, five stars. I would wish you all the best for the future.

Frank James (The Contractor)

dloganw wrote 1131 days ago

Just finished authonomy chapter 13. This is really a winner, tense and exciting all the way with the promise of more to come. The story line is great and the writing is very accomplished as well. Definitely an ED book within a few months but more important a great read.
David

Winston Chad Emerson wrote 1132 days ago

Strong prologue. The setting and dialogue feel authentic. As I read I get the sense that you're either experienced with this kind of job (watching a radar screen in the middle of the night at some government facility) or you're a writer who knows how to do his research. Either way, I'm able to immediately trust in the narrative. Prologue closes appropriately and leaves me wanting to read on, which is what prologues are all about.

I think your first paragraph needs to go. What you communicate with it - Charlie's boredom with his job - is communicated better in the action and dialogue to follow. Omit the first paragraph and you bring readers immediately into the story.

I'll put this on my watchlist and read another chapter soon. If it continues to intrigue me I'll shelve it soon.

Good stuff.

Winston

Medium_Al wrote 1132 days ago

My book will rise or fall based on its own merit. It's here complete. Feel free to read it if you like. All honesty, constructive commentary is welcome.

Good job with the sock puppets. Put you in the weekly top spot.

The Whistle Blower wrote 1133 days ago

Good job with the sock puppets. Put you in the weekly top spot.

Tom Kendall wrote 1133 days ago

Have read Chapter 1 only so far. This is a great read. I just wish it was a proper book. I hate reading from a screen, I do not find it relaxing. This is well written, at a good steady pace, and draws the reader in. Backed and five stars.

dloganw wrote 1134 days ago

Hi Allan, Just finished the first six 'authonomy chapters' and am completely hooked. I will definitely read the balance. You provide great detail of the various locations in the book, most of which I'm familiar with. I've been to Moscow several times, lived in Tokyo two years and went to Stanford (Palo Alto). Enjoy reading scenes in places I know when the describtions are excellent. This is definitely the kind of book I would purchase to read. Good luck with it. I've not only backed it but given it a six star rating.

Phyllis Burton wrote 1134 days ago

Hello Alan, I have long been a fan of your type of sci-fi story and have been fascinated by the controvercy involved in the Roswell area. This would make a fantastic film - you paint very good pictures in the mind. Although I have only read the first five chapters, I intend to read more...I need to know what happens. In the meantime, I am starring this and will place it on my shelf when there is room.
I would appreciate it if you would take a look at either of my two stories: PAPER DREAMS & A PASSING STORM.
Best wishes to you

Phyllis

lizjrnm wrote 1135 days ago

This is fascinating- it has the sort of pace that grabs you from the get-go and doesn't let up. Shelved and appreciate that you have uploaded the entire novel.

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle
Electric Company

DPMartin wrote 1135 days ago

Fantastic! Your writing is supperb, your characters believable and well-developed. The plot moves along at a very believable progress, and the details you include are interesting and add greatly to the plot. Love where the story is going. Well done. I look forward to reading more.

Debbie Martin
THE TIMID HEART

Jim Heter wrote 1136 days ago

Allan, I finished reading your story. Well done, and quite believable for anyone who is at all into the Roswell Aliens scene (or an old X-files fan). I hadn't encountered the dolphinesque aspect before. Is that part of the mythology or your own conjecture? Makes for a natural sequel, since these aliens should be far more interested in our oceans than our land. Also, there's the matter of blue vs red blood, which you left hanging. Another topic for the sequel? Jim

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Frankie7701 wrote 1136 days ago

Awesome!!!! Very exciting!

leigh roeder wrote 1136 days ago

What a great book!

marajill wrote 1137 days ago

Great Book!!! Couldnt put it down, great suspense, adventure, and thrill.

Tari wrote 1139 days ago

This is such an engaging book with drama, action, mystery and suspense. There's a blip on the radar. What is it?
Charlies is a great character as is Commander Stamford.
Love how they all hold their breath waiting for the bogey. Is it a satellite, a meteor? They all gather round, tension at its highest then the bogey disappears.
But there's the hook at the end of the chapter.
You introduce a new thread straightaway. Along with the excellent pitch, this tells the reader this is going to be a treat. A deeply textured book.
The prose is faultless and flows, gripping the reader. .

Backed with pleasure.

I wish you all the best with this,

Katy.xx.
Phobic Dawn.

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