The Time of My Death

Knowing the basis of the story as I do, its worth sticking with. Only things I can say is that you need to smarten it up and add in a few more descriptions otherwise readers won't give it the chance it definitely deserves. Conceptually it is a great black comedy so give it a chance with a quick re-work and I can see it flying up the chart.

Regards

Alan

Hello Alexander:

I randomly found and began to read The Time of My Death. I think that, while there is a base side of human nature which temporarily gravitates toward the cynical, that this cannot sustain people over the long run. People are overwhelmed with so many problems and disappointments in their own lives that they ultimately want hope-not just a worldly hope that prays things might get better, but a true hope that is built when they see the obstacles which others have overcome.

The Time of My Death is simply overflowing with anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, resentment and hopelessness-of course lots of f-bombs.

I believe that you have the natural, innate ability to write. The very fact that you are willing to devote many, many hours to writing bears this out; but that your success as a writer is going to come when you seek to use that gift to produce life.

Keep practicing!

Awesome. Six stars for the short pitch alone. I hope to read more, but, um, is your shift key broken? ;-) Jkinkade

a strangely good read, I like the unusual topic. added to W/L. Few spelling/grammar mistakes need rectifying and some of t he longer paragraphs could do with shortening. Well done. Sue 'It's a Dog's Life''