Book Jacket

 

rank 2325
word count 17636
date submitted 18.04.2011
date updated 20.02.2012
genres: Fiction, Romance, Popular Culture, ...
classification: moderate
incomplete

NeRoLi

C. E. Wildgoose

Lost in a land of day dream, the accident prone and cynical, Neroli Fisher certainly knows how to find her way into a predicament.

 

Snow tyres, ambulances and erections; there's never a dull day in the life of Neroli! Despite the best intentions of sidestepping ‘inter gender relations’ and high hopes for a quiet life, Neroli soon finds that fate has other plans for her. Follow the antics and experience the absurdity of Neroli's inner world as she discovers the secrets of an elderly neighbour and the tragedy of loves gone awry.

(Parental advisory- contains ‘colourful’ language, sexual reference and scenes of a violent nature- display after 9pm.)

 
rate the book

to rate this book please Register or Login

 

tags

african art, ballet shoes, black cat, comedy, gun crime, violence, warm

on 10 watchlists

11 comments

 

Text Size

Text Colour

Chapters

1

report abuse

Prologue

“I see it in your eyes sometimes” he starts, “it’s like there’s someone else here…” A sorrow she’s never seen before twists through his features. “Like someone’s standing here with us, someone awful, someone so horrifying that for a moment you daren’t even breathe…”

 

He raises the piercing blue of his eyes to hers and clasps her hands tightly into his.

 

“I don’t understand it Neroli” his hands tense around hers “but I want to understand it because I want to understand you…”

Chapters

1

report abuse

To leave comments on this or any book please Register or Login

subscribe to comments for this book
stephen racket wrote 1039 days ago

I read the first couple of chapters and thought this was well-written, sharply-observed and witty. There are some delightful comedic touches (the lice line had me in stitches), and Neroli's meetings with "the cardigan" are hilarious. Full of humorous references to the frustrations of modern life. A good edit would tighten things up, but then we are all in the same boat. Generously starred and on my WL for further reading. Good luck with this.

elmo2 wrote 1048 days ago

nicely done, (i imagine a british accent to that), i like very much how you interweave your desciptions with inner dialogue while moving the story along, possibly a tad bit too descriptive or talky, i finished the first four sections, don't know how it is going to end, that is good, i am going to back it, hope you take a look at either of my pieces "crow diary" or "ghost dance"

Claire_E wrote 1055 days ago

The present tense is an interesting choice of narrative, but I think you making it work. I'm enjoying the story so far and will be following Neroli's progress with interest.

Best of luck.

Claire.

katjay wrote 1066 days ago

Original writing and I love the quirky humour. Neroli is an endearing character and I am hooked on following her antics.I'm positive this will do well - backing and 6 stars.

pete1981 wrote 1068 days ago

A Well thought out character, and very descriptive style of writing, I have really enjoyed reading your book. There where parts where I could not hold in a little chuckle to myself!!
I would love to read more Well done!!!
Backed and 6 stars

Benjamin Gorman wrote 1084 days ago

Neroli is a great character, clearly thought-through and well-crafted. Third person limited was a good choice, I think. We need a bit of distance to marvel at her, but we also need to know her thoughts, because so much of the action is internal. One note though: Before this gets onto a publisher's desk, look over punctuation rules, especially as they pertain to dialogue. You can break the rules if you want, but us unpublished novelists get less leeway on that front. Good luck!

Marcus Woolcott wrote 1090 days ago

After calling me a "merciless critic", I had to read your work, haha. Bear in mind I'm no professional, but I don't like lying to people just to get a good review in return.

I really like Neroli, such an interesting character. if you're not female yourself you have a very good insight into a woman's mind. Which is why this story may work better in the first-person.

The whole scene where she goes through her phone is beautifully written. The heavy detail really works here. That said, there's a lot that could be cut out. her journey to the garage seems irrelevant. I appreciate that it could be there for character development but this can be done quickly and easily later on just with the mention of bald tyres - instantly that says a lot about the character. The mechanic can find a CD in the car, and instantly any interplay between them speaks volumes. Often, the detailing got in the way of the story. At the start, instead of writing about the day, something like "It was a good day for October" tells the reader all they need to know.

The dialogue is great, the pacing is fine and it's interesting - you do find yourself warming to Neroli.

There's definitely something here, and I wish you luck with it.

lizjrnm wrote 1092 days ago

This is colourful indeed! Well done and backed!

Liz
The Cheech Room

vista133 wrote 1093 days ago

Great start, makes me want to read more and find out about this interesting lead. Backed.
If you get a cnahce can you have a look at What Lies Within - if you like it, a backing would be appreciated
Thanks and good luck
Audrey

Su Dan wrote 1093 days ago

effective writting, characters and story; this is on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

Compassionate I wrote 1096 days ago

Good writing style, great narrative. 6 starred and backed.

1