The Words of Adriel

Hi Josh,

First off, I have never been so into a book, to the point of leaning forward and jumping out of my skin when my phone beeped next to me.

I was right into Blake's world, and in his head. You have given him such a natural voice, and actions. He is a refreshingly sarcastic, life-like character and teenager, and very importantly, a character who I want to see succeed (not just because he has such bad luck). There is so much at stake, and he so enjoyable to read about.

You couldn't have written with a better balance of humour and tension if you tried. I noticed a lot how the tension is rising (and my face is getting closer to the computer screen) and all of a sudden it drops with a thud at one of Blake's comments. I love it. Makes me want to pull my hair out in a really good way (this is just what good suspence does to me haha). Every chapter ending had the same effect on me; you definitely know your way around a cliff hanger! I also laughed out loud to this book, which is very rare for me to do whilst reading. I won't start writing the comments I enjoyed most, just because I'd be re-writing most of Blake's narrative.

The pace was excellent. Your method of continually feeding little bits of information all the time kept me reading and needing to know the answer to all the clues and mystery. Every word served its purpose perfectly, whether it was to rise the tension, humour, or pace.

As you can see, I am trying to articulate just how much I loved The Words of Adriel. This is an extremely clean manuscript, I found no errors with grammar, spelling, consistency - nothing. I cannot fault this book.

I know this book is going to be published one day, and can't wait to have it on my real shelf at home. So glad it's already gotten to the desk!

Well done on a fantastic story :)

- Charlotte Elise.

Oh and the end! WHERE is the sequel!? Way to lull me into a false sense of security!!

I think this is one of the two best books I've read on authonomy, and I enjoyed it more than I have about 85% of the hardcopy/trad. pub. books I've read in the last year.

You have a gripping writing style, a great story, perfect pacing, and just the right levels of humor, tension, mystery, and action. You also have an excellent grasp of the technical aspects of writing. I think it's a great book, and I promise to buy a copy as soon as it comes out. I'm sorry I have to bump another book off my shelf, but I'll just have to be ruthless and do it anyway. : )

J

OMG, this is great! I'm sitting here creeped out! It's 10pm and I just had to turn on a few lights. I just read straight through all 7 chapters. Honestly, I haven't been this sucked into a book on here in a long, long time. There are great books here, don't get me wrong, but this is a cut above the rest. I just wish there were MORE chapters... or maybe not. lol! I'm afraid of what's behind grandma's door. My curiosity is piqued, though. I'm in a turmoil. :) For this kind of book, that's a good thing, though.

I'll tell you what: That first part where it's written in 2nd person really scared me right off. Then, the book went straight into normalcy in the 1st person and very slowly, the tension has been building ever since. The old guy in the retirement home... can we say scaaaaary? The wolves? yikes! The secret door? a mystery (very good). The cute girl? great side story. The parents' profession? makes you wonder if it has anything to do with the book...

To sum it up with one word: Awesome!

This is a great read. I haven't laughed so much over a book for ages. As an inveterate knocker-over of tables and breaker of delicate objects, I really empathised with Blake's uncontrollably destructive curiosity. My (teenage) boys would love this too - it's pitched just right for the young adult market. Some of the events seem a little unlikely - knocking over all the bookshelves in the library? But I remember being a teenager - disasters were never small or partial. When things went wrong - they went all the way wrong!

Your writing style is tight and consistent, not a word wasted. The humour is pitched just right - tension builds up, then the black humour cuts in and moves the story along - I love it. And I really, really want to know what's behind that door, no matter how dark it is.

This definitely deserves publication and I'm very happy to back it. Good luck, Yvonne.

Sneaking onto Authonomy before work is a hard way to get my reading in, but I can discover a few gems to put on my bookshelf. Or, like this story, I can discover the books that I know I want to own and read whenever I want. Over and over. Congratulations on all you've done with this amazing story!!!! Brilliant!!

Joshua it seems we have another medal and a good review from the editor for "The Words Of Adriel". This was one book that while I was reading I wished I had a hardbound copy of for my real shelf. Shall we see it soon enough?

Great job and I can't wait for your next project. I'll have a little more time to write as I cross the Atlantic from Aberdeen, Scotland so look for my other two books to have updates if you get a chance.I'd be honored to have a writer of your great talent review them.--JL "The Devil Of Black Bayou"

Sitting in the northern Nigerian town of Kaduna on the outskirts of the Saheel, I read stories and listened by firelight of the Djinn. One in reference to bathroom etiquette, flatulence, and using a specific hand was quite, well, hilarious. Great concept taking this tale and incorporating it the way you did. The frailty, humor, and clumsiness of the character are so appealing which made me connect with the protagonist. The Djinn are a real menace and since I care about the character this really works well. Good luck with your future success and future novels.

Oh man, this is absolutely excellent! How could anyone put it down? Certainly not a kid! Although it might make it hard to get to sleep, what with the adrenaline! And funny too!
Thanks

Oh man, this is absolutely excellent! How could anyone put it down? Certainly not a kid! Although it might make it hard to get to sleep, what with the adrenaline! And funny too!
Thanks

Grabs you from the start! It was very good and very imaginative.
The moment you start reading you are captured by the gripping story line. writing is fast paced and full of action,
prose is solidly descriptive.
Add to this cracking dialogue, characters that the reader can associate with and finish off with top notch pace that allows the reader to grab their breath in the lulls and power through the high octane adventure which clearly demonstrates how well the author knows his market.
The action starts early and keeps going the entire way through the book.
A witty, action packed, fast moveing story that evolves well with the first person POV, which I really enjoy reading.
Overall, I think it was an amazing book and I would definitley reccomend it. 5 stars!!!!!!

"One thing that I did struggle with occasionally was the language within the book. As a British reader I found everything very American (descriptions, products, places)," says the HarperCollins reviewer.

How dare he write an American book!

"I think that with some editing to adapt certain words and phrases for a British audience the book would have great commercial potential," says the HarperCollins reviewer.

Or, you could leave it as you wrote it because it's your story and there's a bigger market here anyway.

Every once in a while British snobbery rubs me the wrong way.

I loved the voice and tone of this book. Blake is an endearing character, smart mouth and all. I am sure a lot of kids will be able to identify with him.

Your narrative description works very well to paint your storyworld and makes it come alive for me. The dialogue is crisp and flows easily. It seems real and works well with your narrative to reinforce your storytelling.

I am sure your target audience will enjoy this story. Thanks for a nice read. Ray

Congratulations, Joshua. I hope they decide to publish it, since they obviously liked it a lot! ~Gail

Wow, Joshua. Just read your review from HC. The praise they give is the highest I've seen so far on Authonomy! Yay for you!
Noelle

Hi. This is really WELL-WRITTEN, and in my world you can have the most amazing and original plot and the most well-rounded characters but if the writing's c*** then you're on a sticky wicket (as we say in Britain...) Well done. You deserve your top spot.
Julia. ('Jelly-Boy')

Congratulations on such a brilliant review. I'm sure your future will be very bright.

Hi Josh,

I really enjoyed reading the first part of your book. I love the concept - very original. Your writing style flows and nothing obvious jumped out at me. It is a page turner and your characters are likeable. I really, really want to read the rest. It's great too, because I couldn't find any mistakes in there, and I hate mistakes, so the editing is good. Awesome book, I don't know why you're not already published. Good luck!

Hi Josh,

I really enjoyed reading the first part of your book. I love the concept - very original. Your writing style flows and nothing obvious jumped out at me. It is a page turner and your characters are likeable. I really, really want to read the rest. It's great too, because I couldn't find any mistakes in there, and I hate mistakes, so the editing is good. Awesome book, I don't know why you're not already published. Good luck!

This is really cool. LOL. I loved the irony of the young male character. The way he talks and describes things to the audience is very age appropriate. The voice is fantastic. I love the pacing. Not too slow and not too fast. The beginning pulled me in immediately.

Good work.

Dont forget to read my short story "The Extra...Witch Hunt"

Leah

So what happens once you get to the editor's desk?

Josh, i hope you get a chance to read my book, because after reading your first chapter, I think our humor is pretty in sync. I loved the characters and your dialogue flowed very well. I look forward to finishing the remaining chapters you uploaded on here and I can see why you were ranked what you were ranked. Keep up the amazing work.

ive only read the first chapter so far but am loving it.

Hi Josh,

First off, I have never been so into a book, to the point of leaning forward and jumping out of my skin when my phone beeped next to me.

I was right into Blake's world, and in his head. You have given him such a natural voice, and actions. He is a refreshingly sarcastic, life-like character and teenager, and very importantly, a character who I want to see succeed (not just because he has such bad luck). There is so much at stake, and he so enjoyable to read about.

You couldn't have written with a better balance of humour and tension if you tried. I noticed a lot how the tension is rising (and my face is getting closer to the computer screen) and all of a sudden it drops with a thud at one of Blake's comments. I love it. Makes me want to pull my hair out in a really good way (this is just what good suspence does to me haha). Every chapter ending had the same effect on me; you definitely know your way around a cliff hanger! I also laughed out loud to this book, which is very rare for me to do whilst reading. I won't start writing the comments I enjoyed most, just because I'd be re-writing most of Blake's narrative.

The pace was excellent. Your method of continually feeding little bits of information all the time kept me reading and needing to know the answer to all the clues and mystery. Every word served its purpose perfectly, whether it was to rise the tension, humour, or pace.

As you can see, I am trying to articulate just how much I loved The Words of Adriel. This is an extremely clean manuscript, I found no errors with grammar, spelling, consistency - nothing. I cannot fault this book.

I know this book is going to be published one day, and can't wait to have it on my real shelf at home. So glad it's already gotten to the desk!

Well done on a fantastic story :)

- Charlotte Elise.

Oh and the end! WHERE is the sequel!? Way to lull me into a false sense of security!!

Apologies for the late comment, though I notice you no longer really need a long response from me. Congrats on hitting 'the desk.' What struck me most on reading the work was the immediate hook that the reader had tpo protect themselves before they read any further. This, in itself, gets the reader on your side and the remainder does not disappoint. Style, characterisation and storyline, it's all here. Well done.

Great job! I am hooked after only reading two chapters. What I like most about this is the voice of the character. I love the humor. Good luck!
Julie
Emmerick: The Battle Begins

Congrats Josh!
Hope you crack the publishing world with this one. You deserve it you worked really hard on it! xx

Congratulations, Joshua!

This book is a winner all the way around. It's a real page turner and a fun read.

YAY! number one for a whole month. Go You!
jen

This is very good. I really like the dialog it doesn't seem forced it is natural. Very good story telling style and keeps my interest. Keep up the good work.

Joshua,

Very well written, humourous and scary. Your story provokes a lot of curiosity and you make good use of metaphors. Good work and good luck!

BACKED

Ed,
The Imperialists

Hello Joshua,
What a horrid brat Blake is. I find it difficult to have any sympathy for this cheeky character. Being accident-prone could curry favour but I hate precociousness or in his case, a smart-arsed ignoramus motor-mouth.
The basic story premise is an interesting one and it appears as if you might make something of it.
For a children’s book, your paragraphs are too long.
The paragraph (below) made me think you had messed up your punctuation with additional inverted commas:

“Actually, sir, I did learn my lesson.” What’s so great about logic anyway? “Ever since my first school suspended me, I’ve tried really hard to stay out of trouble. I never do anything wrong on purpose. I’m bad luck. Bad things happen to me and people around me.”

It might read better if you made it clearer that ‘What’s so great about logic anyway?’ was thought by Blake.

I cannot evaluate an incomplete work – how am I to know whether the plot develops into anything remotely acceptable? Does character development occur? Is there continuity? Will you ever finish the book?
I hope that you will rate and comment on one or more of my books.
Best wishes, Charles Dyer (Mach100)

Great first chapter! Have only just discovered this winning work late in the day - literally it would seem - as it reaches No 1 on the ED. You don't need anymore votes, but gee - I can't stop reading. This will be a hit with its target audience. It's simultaneously funny, tragic and suspenseful. And the narrative voice is suitably guileless. Blake draws immediate sympathy with his schoolboy sufferings - for which he is never too blame, of course! This is a very smooth read. There is nothing contrived in the setup - the premise you have created is utterly believable. Well done. Well deserved ranking.
j.marie

Not a lot to add that hasn't already been said.
A good read. :)

Sorry to get back at your request so late. Will be back to read more and to give you a better comment. I like it so far though, really gripping.

Sorry to get back at your request so late. Will be back to read more and to give you a better comment. I like it so far though, really gripping.

Wow, I wish I could be more articulate to express everything I am feeling about reading this first chapter but this story and these characters so far, are a breath of fresh air. I feel so bad for Blake and though he isn't my age, I feel connected to him. I love his humor and I feel so bad about his bad luck so far. Love the character descriptions and with the details, I can picture them in my head. That's my biggest gripe with some authors, they don't put in enough details for me to build the scene in my head, almost as if I can make a movie from the words. This is clearly not the case here, you have a way with words that bring readers into the story instantly. So glad I gave this one a chance, normally I am not picky but I wasn't sure this would be my cup of tea. An original, funny and slightly scary story (the beginning gave me chills), okay enough writing, back to the reading. What a great first chapter!

Children's lit is hard to do well, and the fantasy and horror genres are even harder to do well. There are so many Harry Potter knockoffs, a million different vampire books, and so many other variants that it's hard to find something that reads as original, but you've managed to.

From the first few lines I was drawn in. Blake is a smart, sarcastic character, self-aware without managing to seem older than his age. You've created a real person, one that's relatable, but is a little "more" than the rest of us--a few more problems, a few bigger problems, etc, as is necessary for a protagonist. Courtney is also great, sweet and smart, but also unsure. She's a great foil for Blake, if not quite as deeply developed (which I think is fine--she's not the protagonist, and may change after the first seven chapters anyway).

The writing is tight, and, as another person commented, you have a fantastic blend of humor and tension. The tension is never so far away that we forget something terrifying is going on under the surface, but you manage to cut it just enough with the humor that it's not frightening, per se. The only thing that bugged me is the phrase whitey tighties--I'm used to tighty whities, but that's not a big deal. And any awkwardness that I felt with that was offset by the wonderful line ". . . climb down from the cross like a fully reanimated zombie-Jesus." That seemed to sum up Blake's outlook on life so beautifully.

Best of luck!

Absolutely brilliant concept, an instant classic me thinks!

Get in there

Absolutely amazing!! I loved it. You deserve to be #1. Good job!! Lacy

Hope I'm not too late well done dude!

Loved it! I don't do many backings on this site anymore, but I couldn't help but fall for this one. Keep us informed of your progress as it develops.

Yours in Prose,
KayLeigh

wow! what a great book!

The first chapter does an awesome job of piquing your interest. It was not in my scheduld to read a new novel today, but I can see that I should clear my schedule. The budding romance between Bluberry and our protagonist is promising with your vivid descriptions of Mathew's reaction.

The only concern so far is that it doesn't seem to fit the horror genre. I would consider relisting it as suspense.

Looking foward to the next few chapters.
BobbiRaye

Ok wow. I love horror/fantasy so of course I was going to read this. The first part of the first chapter creeped me out enough to make me draw the curtains and shut the door. I love Blake, I just want to hug him (it's my normal reaction to characters i like for some reason, especially awkward, unlucky ones) and I felt so bad for him with the library incident- bookcases that can actually do the domino thing in a public place, let a lone a school, is an accident waiting to happen. I've forced myself to stop reading at the end of chapter 2 given that it's gone midnight and I have an old creaky house and a cat that makes a lot of noise at night, but I do love this, so it's backed and I'm definately going to find time to read on.
Kitty

Joshua,

Finally got here, although I've only got through the first three chapters as time is short. Wanted to comment though so I can come back to it later. I have to say, one of the best I've read on authonomy.

I wasn't too sure when I started reading - the opening ritual was something I wanted to skip over, but I'm 29 so not so much into these things. I could believe a young teen might find it appealing. I loved the humorous tone. I get the feeling Blake's so used to things going wrong it's just funny now - though more in a laugh rather than cry way.

You told me a lot about Blake whilst keeping the story going and I liked it, by the end of chapter 1 I had a good idea what he was about.

I'm a little torn between whether I think his 'voice' is a little older or a little younger than 13 (I'm getting that from comments below, I didn't actually pick up his age in the first three chapter I read, but that could be because I read them over a week.)
In some cases I think he sounds older but I suspect, when you spend your days getting into trouble for things you didn't mean to start you tend to get a more mature outlook on life - like adults, the grind of responsibility (and the guilt of his family moving constantly for him in this case) tends to age people. I don't think he sounds 19, which I read in one of the comments below, maybe 15.
The way he looks at the world feels more immature and there is where I can't decide whether it's perhaps too immature for a 13yo...but maybe the two combined make him just perfectly the right age! I didn't have too much trouble believing his PoV but I do agree that if you know any 13yo (or perhaps someone on authonomy with one???) you might want to ask their opinion.

Other than that the only comment I made was:
Ch2, Para.1 it's the saying is 'set foot' not 'stepped foot'

I don't tend to look for editing corrections, it's only if they leap out at me. I tend to look more at whether the writing flows (in which case you've done most of the editing it requires), the story keeps me interested and whether the character interaction is convincing.

I liked what I read here and i hope you do well with it.

Danielle

Josh.
simply put: SUPERB

The Words of Adriel is gripping through out. I like the pitch and the steady narrative structure.

The character of Blake is well defined and known that I'm sure a lot of readers of his age will relate to and maybe sympathise with. his mischief or 'bad luck' set the whole story in motion that readers will ask themselves what Blake's next 'episode' will be; and they will settle for the worse.

great Job.

I was skeptical that chapter four could be made better, but you've done it. I like the little changes and adding a shed was a good idea. It's been a while since I read it, but I think you added a little more detailing of the wolves, or at least the main one. I like that as well. Only one thing bothered me, and I'm not even sure why, maybe it's nothing, but should "Besides, there's no way you fought off an entire pack of wolves by yourself." still be there? Before, she was watching from afar in the field if I remember correctly, but in this new version, she's with him in the shed, so wouldn't she have seen it? Perhaps you could add that she shut her eyes tightly? Its up to you and whether you do or not, I still think you've done an excellent job! Can't wait to read further!!!

Fantastic, fantastic read. Excellent job, Joshua.

ps-just wanted you to know that I gave your book a 6 star rating. Can't wait to read the whole book!

Hi Joshua, it's Keith again, if this book is complete, put it on Amazon Kindle store and let me know when it's available, RE: The Words of Adriel, I wiill certainly download it. Keith.

Well Joshua, a brilliant opening chapter, I couldn't stop reading and had a good chuckle at the events you wrote of, especially with the Principle. The description was excellent and humour poured from every sentence. This books deserves to do well. I will certainly be going back for more of what is to come. It flows very well and is really easy to follow. I was on the edge of my seat wanting to get to the next funny quip. Very well done and I wish you the best of luck with ths novel. It would make a good movie, and that's only after reading bone chapter. Go for it matey... Keith

I am disappointed and really upset. I want to read more and I can not. I can not wait until your book is published. I was spell bound as I read each word. I could not stop reading. But now I must as there are no more words. I can see why your book is number one. I will buy this book when it is published. Good luck. I can't wait until your next book is written.