LIZZIE

Great atmosphere - I really felt involved with the characters. I read the first 3 chapter and could easily have read on so I've added it to my w/list and will add it to my shelf next week. Your level of research must have been good as it feels so authentic. I love the Victorian era so I was so glad your writing did it justice!
Brilliant!
Sarah
PS - if you get the chance, please return the read for 'Song of the Siren'. Thank you :) x

Haunting and atmospheric - the characters of Lizzie and Annie Greenlee are so real they almost leap of the page. It's brilliant how you capture the reader very quickly, with the girls at the grave side. It was very tragic as they watched their parents lowered into the ground for a pauper's burial. Very sad. Lizzie though, is a strong young girl and I feel will do her best at being both a mother and sister to young Annie. You've indeed painted a true-to-life vivid picture of the plight of the children living rough under the bridge and having daily to beg and steal just to eat to survive. I wonder though what's to become of Lizzie singing in those public houses. I can't wait to find out though what their paths in life entail.
I've read three chapters and will continue reading this fantastic story until the end. (then I'll be left sad, wanting more, I know!)
Realistic dialogue, good length sentence structure and a nice tight narrative that doesn't over-explain, just reveals enough to make you want to turn the page. I think you've done a lot of research to write Lizzie - and it shows because you capture the times so well. Outstanding story telling, Kate, and very good writing. I hope this ends like a Catherine Cookson period drama!
Loads of stars - and shelved.
All the best, Connie x
Sinners

Think I've read a bit of this before, but really enjoyed reading more of it. I think this sort of book is always popular with young readers - it reminds me a bit of one I read as a child about some children alone in the civil war, and there's another set in the time of the plague - the historical setting always appeals, there's something about reading about children in another time, battling against the odds. I'm giving you some stars and carrying on reading.
Cariad.

Sad and cold story!
There is a great style with this book. A deepness that fills the pages.
It is one that you want to cry through.
Written with an amazing depth of feeling through it,

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Please take a look at my pirate adventure Driving Winds.

This book is right up my street! I've read many, many books like this one and I have to say, it's well up there with the best of them. Your descriptions are vivid, you've captured the time period perfectly and it is believable and well constructed. Your characters and dialogue are also spot on. I didn't notice any typos at all and think you have a good chance of this going far. Highly starred and on my WL for a well-deserved place on my shelf very soon. All the best with this and well done.

Hi Kate,
I have finally found time to have aread of your book. I really got involved with the story and enjoyed it very much. At first, I found it a little bit too busy painting the picture of victorian London. I think it would have been nice to let the picture emerge a little more slowly through Lizzie's eyes rather than the writer's eyes. All in all I found it to be a really good read and wish you the best of luck with it. Lots of stars - Carole

Really enjoyed reading the start of your book. You have managed to make the reader sympathise with the main character and paint a wonderful picture of her sorry existence.
Great stuff and good luck with the book!

A simple writing style, that adds a lot of flavor to the images and characters you have created. It is a fascinating story with darkness and happiness from what I see somewhat intertwined. Your pitch created a good first hook and chapter 1 didn't disappoint. It will be interesting to see where this leads to. I wish you the best of luck on getting to the editor's desk.

Auna June
Catalaysia: The Curse of Five

Very sad story, Kate, but a marvellous evocation of Dickension London. I really feel for these two girls, too, which is a good sign (caring for characters is so important). You might consider breaking up some of the longer paras (e.g. the one starting 'The men inside' - break at 'Cheering loudly..' and 'She went back outside..') and also breaking your rather long first chapter in two (suggest at 'The days passed...') but this is otherwise a very impressive piece of work. Six-starring you, and will return to read more.

Joe Kovacs
Rupee Millionaires

(one small suggest: I think 'Punch' should have a small 'p')

Hi Kate,

I loved the first couple of chapters of this. It is so well told. I liked the darkness of the story rather than a sugary re-creation of Victorian Times. This would sell so well and I could imagine it being read in classrooms.

I haven't got any criticism. Backed and starred. I loved it.

Tracey

Lizzie by Kate Grimes: I was hooked from the start of this wonderful book which captures the Victorian period so well. I read to chapter 9 not wanting it to end.

Poignant pictures of poverty, of a little girl abandoned by her sister and life on the streets. Loss of friends builds great emotion and moves the plot forward. I can see the pieman and those delicious pies and read each chapter feverishly hoping Lizzie would always find something to eat and somewhere warm to sleep.

Your characters are easily likeable and we care for them from the start. Its easily to see how this book will draw a merciful audicence especially those who remember the famous Dr of the time that mentored and restored young children, offering them shelter and a chance for work.

Very well done. Claire ~ Chasing Pharaohs.

Hi Katie

Here is your long-promised return review. I loved your opening chapter and was hooked from the first paragraph with the fabulous description of the lonely yew standing like a sentinel over the graves.

This is an excellent story, really well told. I felt totally immersed in the period and am already worrying about the characters and what will happen to them in the future. Well done. Backed and highly starred.

Susanna
'The Missing Heiress'

First, do you know that on your bio page that your email is like trying to escape and fly away? Or maybe it's just my screen that is messing with the page.

Jeeze, what a sad start. Her whole family died. "You serial killer of words." :) I always wanted to use that quote. My very first kid reader of my book (he was 9 at the time) said that about my book because well many of the characters die by the end of mine. Anyway for a book to make me sad is a huge accomplishment. It means you have created good characters and set them up perfectly so we become emotional when something bad happens or good. So congrats on that.

I love your description of their new home outside and the town. Again, this is a very sad piece you got here.

Joey, the other homeless kid, stands out. I love him and he adds a different flavor to the tone. 6 stars. But what I would consider is that you split the chapter in two. It's a bit long. But it's up to you. I just wanted to bring it to your attention. I have a list of 5-8 books to back soon and hopefully after I can get you up here.

well written and touching story...your narrative is descriptive and makes the book a very readable book...
l shall back...
read SEASONS...

Hello Kate
COVER: I like.
SHORT PITCH: Ok but somewhat generic.
LONG PITCH: This grabbed me more but still somehow generic.
TEXT:
I enjoyed reading chapter 1. The graveyard scene was an excellent atmospheric opening. Some choice turns of phrase here and there (ie. “an indifferent finality”) captured my attention.
The scene with the landlord was underdeveloped IMO. Obviously you wish him to be heartless, but it is surprising that no one would say “Can’t this wait? We have just gotten back from a funeral!” A bit more fleshing out of him I think is needed.
This is my main gripe about the chapter: everything seems to happen too quickly. Within a few paragraphs, they are kicked out by the landlord, walk the streets, live in a railway arch, then go to Spitalfields. I think the narrative could be improved by being slowed down and each detail expanded upon. For instance we are told in passing that Annie has a beautiful voice but we could hear her singing say earlier at the funeral or under the arches and someone else could remark on its beauty.
I’m not sure about the constant h-dropping in the dialogue. That could come across as an annoying cliché after a while.
I hope you find some of this useful. Good luck.
Daniel
‘Headless’

My first impression from your opening paragraphs was you're a gifted writer. What a haunting image you create right away as the girls stand over their family's grave. Your descriptions throughout this opening chapter are spot on and easy to visualize.

I love the setting and premise. I was hooked the second I realized when and where they were.

It's also great that you've dropped your reader right into the middle of the conflict. Your characters who have lost their family and have nowhere to go are instantly sympathetic. By the end of the chapter, you had me worrying about them. Well done!

Their struggle for survival on the street makes for a fascinating read. The events that occur and the dialogue feels realistic, and it's well-written.

Suggestions: It has become a bit of cliché to start with a funeral. I like how you present it, though, so I wouldn't recommend changing it unless you feel compelled. Though they're often good choices, this is heavy on the adjectives, especially early on. I'd comb through this and see if you can trim those that are less effective. How about: "The men inside ogled Annie."

Typos: May be a cultural thing, but "passersby" isn't hyphenated. Make sure your punctuation goes inside the quotation. "Mmm, yes," said Lizzie... You're missing a period after, "She sobbed herself to sleep." Other than that, this is very well edited.

This is a very strong opening. The writing is compelling, and the story is one I'd love to read more of. Highly rated and recommended!

I read thru the first chapter of Lizzie today. Atmospheric, strong images, characters developing well. I do have one question... how old are the Lizzie and Annie. I originally had the impression that Lizzie was quite young, but the interactions with some of the other (great) characters has me questioning that. thx. I plan to get back into the book soon. David (Climb the Mountain).

I would appreciate if you would check out and back my novel, "Ana Grace - A Heart's Journey". My w/l and b/s are full right now, but I would be willing to back "Lizzie" as soon as I can. Thanks in advance!

Lizzie Kate Grimes
Hello, Kate. I’ve been totally immersed in reading Lizzie today and my head is filled with your evocative images of that long-ago world. This is a beautiful story, peopled with some engaging characters. Just come to the end and felt a wrench when I finally looked away from the screen – and the spell was broken.
Kat x Hens from Hell
ps even though I write chick-lit I still adore the historical genre.

I finished reading your book last night and can truthfully say that I could not put it down. I am so glad that it had a happy ending for Lizzie. You were able to skillfully sweep me into the story to such an extent that I felt Lizzie's pain when she was hungry, I was cold when she was cold, and I felt the sting of the broom on my head, and the pain in my stomach when Sid gave that nasty kick. I cried when old Meg, Alice, and her baby died. I was humiliated when Sid raped Lizzie. Then I felt the love of Joey and the two good doctors. Your books needs to be published!!! How can we get you to the top? I will back you and keep you on my shelf until you reach the editor's desk-that is how much I believe in your work. It truly was a work of art. Now, I have a question. Where did you come up with the story. Did you know someone who suffered like Lizzie? You made the story so real, I was just wondering. Best of luck, Kate. Once again, thank for your kind words for my little book. God bless. Janet

This is one of the best works of historical fiction I've read on this site. My heart goes out to poor Lizzie and the tragedy she's had to endure. She's lost everyone she's ever cared about: her parents, her sister, Dolly, Old Meg. But, she continues to perservere. Her act of honesty in admitting she was about to swipe the old gentleman's wallet in chapter 5 shows real insight to her character, as does the way she takes care of Meg. It's truly inspirational to find a character who is so beaten down, but continues to display strength and honesty in deplorable conditions. This is a book I'll continue to read.

Hi Kate, you are next on my bookshelf, just trying to process my watchlist is an effective way. Could you read a chapter from my book, just one, eg. Menopause and....

I enjoyed how you opened the story, lots of tension right at first. :)

Kate, you are kind - and you seem to have a lot of stuff up there higher by far than mine, which is impressive. I have put Lizzie on the watch list after the first chapter - and I am going to enjoy the read. You have a knack of telling it straight, getting on with it without too many fussy embellishments. Some seem to baulk at that - but I believe that if the reader lacks the imagination to paint in their own backgrounds then the reader is not worth having - and your style does make for a good easy read.
AJB

Hi everyone - I've finally managed to upload the completed copy of LIZZIE. Thanks to all who have backed it so far.

The pitch has me! It is on my WL and next in line for review for the shelf! Looks like this is gonna be a good one! More commentary to follow!

I,m puttting you on my watchlist sweetie.

You have written more than one book which is very, very impressive - it seemed easier jumping out of a burning plane than writing even one book. Of course I have to back this one because I have a grand-daughter with this name. I have read the first chapter and you have a real talent for historical fiction. It feels authentic and well written - will comment when I can read more but it is on my shelf and starred! Henry

Just started reading this and coudn't stop. Keep loading the chapters!

Hi everyone. Sorry Lizzie's been off the site for a day or two. I wanted to upload some more chapters, but for some reason the site wouldn't do it. I've finally managed another four chapters, but what a struggle! Has anyone else had this problem? Thank you all who commented before. Please would you mind doing so again, as I will have lost my ranking.

Thanks. Kate Grimes.