A Buccaneer

I've been reading "A Buccaneer" and I love the storytelling. It's been a long time since I last read historical fiction. The Plague makes the world so very empty and sad . . . curious that Henry wanted to become a soldier after Christina died. Is he looking for a new way to get killed? His meeting and time with Josephine was fun. I haven't yet reached the part where Henry becomes a pirate, but I'm still reading on . . .

Strachan, an amazing read. Very well researched and interesting content. Excellently narrated.
High stars and backed
Sheena
The Popish Plot

Well written, well researched, interesting historical context.
HIGH STARS for A Bucaneer!!

-Trenor
THE LORDS OF INVENTION
(any constructive thoughts or ratings would be greatly appreciated)

Strachan. I have to ask you... Where the heck did this come from??? Very impressive. The topic for your story is as equally impressive too. Its really well written and so clever. I can critique this, but I can tell you that I enjoyed it that much, I will be returning to read some more. talk about hooked, doesnt even come into it and its not often I break my three chapter rule, but this came close. So well done and I will be watching for this one. At least a 5 star rating from me.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you?? Many thanks. Sean.

Hi Strachan,

I promised you to get back to you on your book. I've just read a bit of the first chapter and I find your first sentences intriguing and enticing.

Good luck on this!

Charlotte Luxhoej

Hi Strachan,
your novel captures the flavour of the era although, personally, I found the attempt to mimik the language of the day somewhat irritating. I discovered several inconsistencies in punctuation spacing or commas and other editing. Neverthless, the flow of events is straightforward. Although I didnt finish the book, perhaps your linear narrative form could benefit from other perspectives and detailled historical footnotes.
Simon

This is impressively written. Clearly well researched, and your language is convincing for the period without being overdone. I was gripped by the beginning of the story, and by the end of chapter one I could see why your main character became who he did. Very clever, and well done.

Jackie
Toxic

Hi Strachan,

I just had to read A Buccaneer - it has been on my WL for some time waiting for me to find the time to settle down with it - I wanted to read more than just the usual 2-3 chapters and was not disappointed. (I'm also writing pirate books in the same period - The first part of An Ill Wind is on this site and my second, 'Dead Reckoning' actually starts with the same raid on Panama City, although from the PoV of a child living in the city.)

I really like the language you use; you evoke a great sense of the time period and don't overdo the archaic vocabulary - well done, this is a hard balance to achieve and you have executed your chosen style extremely well.
I liked the description of Christina and the devastation of the plague- very moving and I'm starting to empathise with Henry. You paint a convincing picture of Henry's motivations for becoming a plagueman and the grim realities of the job.
The gun battle on meeting the Buccaneers was well-done and exciting, and I loved your description of Morgan as well as the detail of the trek over the Panamanian Isthmus.
The only thing I wasn't so sure about was starting a book of action and adventure with so much backstory - I wonder if this could come in later, or maybe 'show' the first part in a prologue, rather than start off the book with telling your reader about the events of 1646? Just a thought.

On the whole, this does need a bit of minor copy editing (eg there's often a space before a comma etc), but that doesn't take anything away from the story. This is well-researched, powerful and moving with evocative imagery and plenty of action - a great pirate book, very true to history and I've thoroughly enjoyed what I've read - I wish you luck with it!

I would be very interested to hear what you think about An Ill Wind at some point if you have time:
http://authonomy.com/books/48436/an-ill-wind/
Thank you
Karen

Hi Strachan,
I always fantasize to escape from the present. Sometimes into past and some other times into future. You have created an environment where I could easily settle into 17th century. Great writing style. Highly starred and watch-listed. The first sentence of long pitch is a repetition of what we already know from short pitch. please try to edit this part if you feel the same. Good luck with ' A Buccaneer'

Venkatarama
Ozoneraser

You've definitely captured the voice of the time. It reminded me of Henry Fielding or Samuel Richardson. I understand what some other reviewers are saying about preferring to start in an action scene rather than being given background story. However, you've employed the style that was common in the era that you're writing about. I admire that you've done such a great job of that and I understand the choice. I do however think it's a risky choice, because modern audiences are conditioned to want action right from the start.

All and all though, well done.

Hi
Sorry it has taken me so long to get my comments to you. I enjoyed this - the opening paragraph is well written and draws the reader in, really whets the appetite. Your main character has a strong, convincing voice and you do not slip from his characteristc speech and phrases at all as far as I can see. There is a sentence in para 8 'many of its...losing side' that doesn't scan and the sense is a bit mixed up in the last line of para 9, perhaps consider changing it to 'such was to be the way i would always repay his love'. On the whole this first chapter has a lot of good authentic description that conveys a sense of the time and the place using a lot of relevant detail. You have obviously researched well. I would just say, however, that there is a lot of telling rather than showing. You could lift the chapter by adding some dialogue and describing the actual events as they are happening rather than telling the reader in retrospect. hope you don't mind me suggesting this - but you can see the difference in chapter 2, when you do use dialogue. This chapter is riveting and the dialogue is extrmely well written.
I do love the character's voice and the detail and history of this, so I'll keep this on my WL and will put it on my bookshelf soon.
High stars too!

If I could offer a mild criticism - it's a common pitfall in novels to begin by going backwards instead of forwards. By beginning with first person present tense and immediately shifting to the past, you wrong-foot the reader, who is expecting to be carried forwards into the plot. Engagement comes from involvement rather than being told.

Better to begin with a scene from the narrator's present - sucking the reader in with location, voice and personality - and drip-feeding the backstory later. The danger of immediate flashback is that the author takes over and ends up telling the reader a load of stuff rather than letting the action unfold. It's summarising rather than narrative.

A film might begin like this (a montage sequence as the titles roll), but a novel needs to drop the reader right into the action. This is the action before the action. It's entertaining, but it's not the main event.

Forgive my pedantry. I teach MA Novel at a university.

Hi Strachon,

I have just read the first chapter of 'A Buccaneer,' and loved the style in which you write. It conjures up the period well without resorting to too much detail like I seem to have.

I found the character of Christina very appealing.

In the first chapter you write 'King Charles I was restored to the throne,' which must be a mistake as you mean Charles II.

I intend to read some more,

Carol

Dear Mr. Gordon,

Have just read the first 2 ch's of “A Buccaneer”. Very well written, and your research is impeccable. The plot is intriguing, and moves along at a steady pace. Your details all seem original, in that they are not the ones that historical novelists of the period usually use. You definitely have a sense of the time, and don't drag in modern attitudes. As for short crits, I am using a copy of your MS I took down almost 2 months ago, so you may have corrected them since, but I'll give a few from ch 1, anyway.

**** “Pelham.I” – – should have space after period.
**** “King Charles 11” – – should be “King Charles II”.
**** “...engaged in sowing on the other side of the room...” – – I think you meant “sewing”. You do this twice in 3 paragraphs.
**** “...she told me of her childhood in the country, but she was out early to milk cows...” – – “but” seems wrong. Use either “when” or some other conjunctive.
**** “...she deprecated herself in telling it that my heart was...” – – I would have a comma after “it”.
**** “But the I...” – – should be “then”. Also, the whole six-line paragraph is one run-on sentence, with bad punctuation throughout.
**** “She did not wish it, but our intimacy...” – – another run-on sentence
**** “...I longed to lay with she...” – – should be “lie with her but...”
**** 2 more badly run-on sentence a short while later.
**** “...descended into heaven and felt...” – – comma should be after “heaven”, and do you mean “ascended”?

If you haven't done so recently, you might proof-read your MS again, carefully. I will read on. 6 stars for now, and maybe a shelf later.

Regards,
Egon R. Tausch
A Voice In Rama: Slaughter of the Innocents

Hi Strachan
Sorry to take so long to get back to you. I've had a look at your book and as a result it's been added to my watchlist and starred. Don't quite know what happened as I intended to mark it five star but somehow its ended up four! Very well written and researched. Reading some of the scenes, which are so vivid, almost makes you feel as though you are witnessing the events taking place, especially the plague scenes! As I'm writing this it occurs to me that I should be backing your book so that's what I'm just about to do! Good luck with 'A Buccaneer'.
Regards Henry Woodstock

I've just read the first two chapters of Buccaneer. The story moves forward and is well-paced, and its strength for me is that it is told exclusively from the point of view of the main character. If the rest of the book continues at the same pace and from the same point of view I believe it could be a success.

However, I did find myself skipping sentences along the way that didn't move the story forward or seemed irrelevant. And, alhough effective overall, I think that these chapters need to be tightened, and the syntax and grammar need to be corrected.

Best of luck with the book!
Harris
http://authonomy.com/books/46331/irina-s-eye/

BUCCANEER
This is a good story. I like the way you begin this by describing Henry’s background rather than beginning with him already at sea. Gives him great depth as a character. The description of what the plague was like was very interesting. Imagine living in that time and under those conditions? I like your writing style also. It’s hard to know how much description to include in historical fiction and I think you nail it; enough your reader knows what things look like; not so much you bog down your story. I’m starring this and adding it to my shelf. Mark/Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Beautifully written. A very engaging story.

First of all, thank you very much for taking the time to read and comment on my City of Refuge. I greatly appreciate it!

As for your work, wow! I was immediately hooked by the first few paragraphs and I continued reading for several chapters before I stopped. You have crafted a very real, exciting tale. It is rich with detail (the descriptions of death at the hands of The Plague were restrained and heart rending at the same time), with great fight scenes (I jumped ahead to chapter 16 after I read the first few), and you have a mastery of the time period in which the story is set.

Highly starred and on my watch list to be shelved soon.

I read a few chapters of your book and found it enjoyable. I like period literature and I thought you potrayed this time in history extremely well. Your characters are well defined and you have a strong storyline. I highly starred your book and will recommend it to my friends. Crayton

I actually only read this because I felt it fair to return the favor. I don't mean that as an insult in the least - I mean it's not my usual genre, which you know because you've seen my work. Nonetheless, I was pleasantly surprised and will probably read more of it later. For now, I have read the first chapter.

What I love the most (keep in mind, I haven't gotten into the real plot yet) is the wording, on two accounts. First, it fits the time period. Second, I adore the use of unusual words here and there. Something above a junior high reading level. Even better, a word I might actually have to look up. And there were. I suspect that you have made good use of a thesaurus.

Now, after the love fest: there are some grammar issues which you could deal with easily without detracting from the essence of the piece. Here are my suggestions:

1) Spacing. The space bar should be hit twice after a period, once after a comma. The spacing issues are abundant, which is why I didn't cite them specifically.

2) "engaged in sowing" and "she laid down her sowing" sowing is planting (sow seed) sewing is with needle and thread (The stitches in her sewing were small and neat.)

3) "It informed me with a passionate desire to instruct her" Unless I am missing something, the word informed is out of place. Suggestions: "It infused me with a passionate desire to instruct her" or, for a more generic term, "It filled me with a desire to instruct her" I like the first better and believe it would fit much better in your piece.

So those are my nit-picky suggestions. I am new here so if I am offending anyone, someone will tell me to shut up. (Go ahead, feel free...) But, as I said, I did enjoy the reading, and coming from someone who reads nothing but sappy girly stuff lately, that's high praise!

I have only read so far into this but I can tell straight away that it is a good yarn, written with some style. Just the right amount of dialogue, too. Could perhaps do with a bit of tidying up here and there. Sometimes a capital letter for 'father', sometimes a small letter. Commas before 'but'. That sort of thing. Minor quibbles but the sort of correction which could be made so easily in any rewrite. None of it detracts from an excellent piece of writing.

Best wishes John Philip

great first chapter! very easy to read, I began the first line and had suddenly finished the chapter in minutes. authentic, very well written, if I weren't reading it on the internet I'd imagine it had actually been written by a buccaneer in the 17th century! now let me read on....

After ch. 1--Intriguing! You tell enough of a story in the first chapter to draw a person in, but not too much that said person becomes bored. An era I personally don't know much about, so the historical aspect is something I enjoy and look forward to seeing as I continue reading. One suggestion: The first chapter has no dialogue, and that makes it a little hard to keep reading, as it invites the reader to skim paragraphs, looking for some real action, speech, something besides straight paragraphs. Just my thoughts. :)

Shannon

'A Buccaneer' is a truly authentic account of 17th century Britain and Europe, with carefully researched details that paint vivid images to readers like a movie. It is not at all surprising to know that you’re a history teacher, because only someone with such knowledge and great interest in history can write this piece. I have only one tiny suggestion of having some dialogue in the first chapter, but it’s just my personal view.

Still six out of six stars though. I hope you keep up the good work and have it published one day.

Uyen Roland
Alcoholic Rice

Hi Stachan,
This is fascinating reading, literally. I started out with the intent to to read one or two chapters, but continued with a few more. I am impressed with your attention for details. I deliberately read the text on the Netherlands to see how you would fare there, and I like it, not only because of the flattering words, but also the subtle insertion of a few Dutch expressions, in the old spelling of those days. A book like this could be used as a history textbook.
Best, Peter

A Buccaneer by Strachan Gordon
Hello, Strachan
I loved words like ‘rapscallions’ – it is not often these days we hear such language which is so colourful.
The following sentence: There should either be a semi-colon or full-stop after misfortune. My mother died could be one sentence. Then begin again with “When I returned … “
Actually, “After her funeral, her manner towards me changed” – you might need to differentiate that you are speaking here of Christina, and not of your mother, because as written, this is kind of what it sounds like!
“But the (sic) I was visited by a misfortune,my mother died and when I returned to London after attending her funeral,her manner towards me changed.”
Then we have the same thing about commas/semi-colons later: “I was suddenly called to Bude to attend my father who was ailing,he needed someone who was to govern his affairs and lay things in order, a tumour having appeared in his throat which was slowly suffocating him.”
This occurs at other times and because of that, you may like to think about going through and fixing these ‘spatial’ errors as it takes away from the merit of your work.
For some reason, words were pressed right up against commas and full-stops which is illustrated by the bit that I have copied in below. It shows up best in Word, but here is an example para:
My name is Henry Pelham.I was born a gentleman.I became a scholar,but
circumstances decreed that I become a plunderer and murderer.In short I became a
Buccaneer.I fell from grace.Let me tell you my story.

I am fascinated that you are able to retain the speaking style of the period so effortlessly, which of course, adds a great deal of authenticity to the piece.
I can already picture this as a film for some reason, starring Russell Crowe or similar!
I sincerely hope this goes well for you.
Jane Mauret
UGLY IN PARADISE

Strachan,

Good opening chapter. It reads like a voice over to the start of a movie. Well written and easy to follow. Not really my cup of tea when it comes to books but I'm happy to return a comment and rating.

I would maybe review the paragraph starting with 'Many a time.' There seems to be a jump from past to present tense which does not read so well. Otherwise no problem with grammar or style.

All the very best with this book!
Eddie

I have just read the first chapter and it is very easy to read and flows rather smoothly. I imagine that you slow down the pace in the next chapters as it seems to go quickly through the first part of the main character's life. Which makes sense to me as that is not what your story is centered on. I've backed it and starred it as well.

-Leah

I've just read the first two chapters. I've seen that others have commented on the punctuaton, typos, and the like, so I won't. I like your main character, writing style, and plot. I've come across so much fantasy on this website, and it's nice to see something else! However, the writing isn't as polished as it could be. I think that if you went through it and made the corrections that people before me have suggested, the reading would flow much more and people would be more inclined to read on.
Jessica

Wow! I just finished reading the rest of your chapters. Sorry it took so long getting to it. I usually finish the reads I start, but somehow this one got taken off my WL, and I missed the rest of it. Henry sure led a full life, and escaped death many times before finally making it back to his home again. Your historical work in so many aspects of this time period was so very well researched. I've researched the black plague times, the 1600's, the shores of America and what it was like on the ships during these times for a book I wrote (off the site), and your descriptions were spot on. I felt for Henry, always being within grasp of a new beginning, only to have it stolen away from him again. It didn't always work well for him with the women in his life, and yet I was glad to see the happy ending with Dona Teresa after so much difficulties. I enjoyed this immensely!

Kara
A Gate Called Beautiful

Thanks for reading Big Girl Lost. I've read your first chapter (I can't load chapter 2 for some reason) and I found it compelling. You have created a very strong lead character, I feel like I understand his behaviour and where it's come from, and you describe his love for Christina well - I could sense his deep passion. It does need some tidying up, but I definitely want to read more about what happens to Henry Pelham.

Lianne La Borde - Big Girl Lost

This is a very competent and convincing pastiche of seventeenth century prose style - others have already mentioned Defoe and Sterne - and you have also kept the detachment of the protagonist which is typical of the period. I have read a few chapters and I expect it's going to turn into something of a romp - though the tone may change later. I must agree with the remarks about punctuation, typos and grammar - well worth tidying them up, as it will make for a much better read. Going on my watchlist with four stars.
Victoria Miles
ABSALOM

I had time today to read your first chapter, and was drawn right into the interesting plot, loving what you have created! I think the mood of the story was bitterness from his childhood, and yet he is struggling with these dark feelings as he acts them out in ways that only hurt him more. (which is what a lot of us do) I think you have a good story here and I really enjoyed reading this much of it today.

Kara
A Gate Called Beautiful

Strachan, I have read several chapters of your book and liked it. I read with pitiful interest the accounting of the Plague. What a horrific time and you related the disaster, depression and despair very well. I must say my favorite character, so far, is the preacher Neems. You've written a character in him I truly enjoy in him. I shall read the rest to see what becomes of him.
God bless!!
Elizabeth Kathleen
"If Children are Cheaper by the Dozen, Can I Get a Discount on Six?"

A Buccaneer.

Chapter 1.

Not going to comment on punctuation as it seems to me, some as erudite as the author would not have done this by mistake. Perhaps you are emulating a style of the period?
'Such was the way I was always to repay his love.' I think this little sentence encapsulates the character of the MC.
'sowing' to sow seed - sewing, to use a needle. Not sure if this 'sowing' is used in the context of the period, but it does seem odd.
'descended into heaven..' Heaven is always thought of as being high above, so ascending would be more appropriate.

A good strong voice in the prose, reminds me a little of Daniel Defoe or perhaps Tristram Shandy. Although this was mainly telling rather than showing, I thought it worked well. In just one chapter, one that kept my interest, the reader knows all the salient point's about the MC's family history and disappointments suffered together with giving a reader a very good indication of Henry's personality.
Will read further before committing myself, but have given high stars and put the Buccaneer on my watchlist.

The Buccaneer is good writing because it wears so many hats - it's an exciting piece of writing. Yes, others have shown where edits are needed, but those do not take away from the pleasure of reading this beautiful and believable, wonderful and sometimes frightening story. This novel has that strange, brilliant quality of uniqueness that defies the usual cookie-cutter historical fiction. Best to you Strachan.
Jenny

I agree with Christopher. I think this story has a lot of potential. I read up to chapter two but thought chapter two launched us into it more. Chapter one talks about his love for this singer, and I understand that that is a major motivation for him, but even for a man who is going to go on to become a bucaneer, its hard to believe he would be talking about this one girl for that length of time. I think it could at the very least be shortened. Other that, I thought his decision to take up the duties of a plagueman were quite unique. You don't see that in a lot of stories. I liek the fele of him working from this low level to a life of piracy; It seems interesting. All in all, a very good start.

Hi Strachan!

Well, the opening paragraph contains a strong hook, which is a great start. You might like to see if you can remove a few of the opening 'I's/Mys etc and vary sentence construction a little.

The storyline in the first chapter is compelling. You successfully build sympathy for your character and give strong reason for the bad behaviour we are to expect from him in future chapters.

The greatest weakness, in my opinion, is your telling rather than showing style. What I mean by this is that you tell us about scenes that occurred in Henry's life, but don't describe them as they happen in such a way that the reader can feel that they're really there. The most obvious part of this problem is the lack of dialogue. The reader is told what is spoken between the characters, but the exact words are never given in speech marks in such a way that the reader can feel they are eavesdropping on a conversation. The only small piece of dialogue I remember is a boy talking about Christina's singing when she herself was a child, and that's told past-perfect.

I feel that there is a lot in this chapter and that it could be spread out into several interesting 'shown' chapters with more settings (especially the smells, tastes and touch of this smelly period in history), some of the actual words spoken between characters given, and the characters physical descriptions shown. Dialogue would also remind your reader about who is narrating this story. The only use of the name Henry is within the opening paragraph, and believe you me readers will have forgotten the name of your mc by the end of the chapter unless some other characters shout out, 'Oi, Henry!' every now and again. Also, the emotions involved will be stronger if Dad is saying, 'Oh, where is my little Henry?' as he pops his clogs, rather than having the reader told he was 'in the agony of death crying for me.' Basically, show the emotions, show us what he cries.

In summary, great plot, great characters, but narration needs to be more showing and dialogue needs to be used.

Hope this helps a little!

Chris :D

Strachan - Just read the first chapter; will continue tomorrow. Beautiful style and voice, full of flavor and just the right aura, draws the reader right into the era and the story. Agree with previous comments about the punctuation, but that's minor when your storytelling and attention to detail is so rich. this is indeed a winner.
Lynne Heffner Ferrante.

Hi Strachan,

Enjoyed the first chapter very much. i agree with one of the commenters below; your narrative is sharp and well executed. Thank you for the opportunity to read this, my friend. I foresee this doing very well.
Best wishes and good luck!
Richard Langridge.

Strachan, Let's get the petty criticism out of the way first, shall we not? Notice the comma that I just typed between "first" and "shall". Comma must be no space after "first" then one space left before "shall". This is true of all punctuation. I'm compelled to mention this because you mainly got it wrong throughout the entire two chapters that I read. I kept hoping for improvement but no such luck. For such an errudite gentleman as Henry (flawless grammar, perfect time- correct dialogue), I found this jarring. I foud the voice exeptional and was almost immediately propelled back in time and place. What a rare and delightful experience. It could only be be improved by actual time travel; a trip I've not yet taken but still hope for. Looking forward to Henry's buccaneering days and will avidly read on. I'm a newbie here but will try to promote your novel as I, hopefully master the tecnique. Don White

Hello Strachan,

The name James Hogg sprang to mind as I was reading. I loved 'Confessions' and am generally a fan of this tumultuous period in history. I think in historical novels the tone is everything and you've done a good job. The language feels authentic, of the seventeenth century, without being overly difficult to read. It's a tough task requiring skill; to achieve that fine balance, merging the old with the modern. Well done on that score. I like the first person narrative also. It lends intimacy and human connection to a distant time.

It's clear that you know your history well, and here I think is my first queery? I suspect that alot of people who read historical fiction do so precisely becasue they also know a fair bit about the period also? So the skill is to replicate the daily nuances, the day to day mundane stuff that went on in the 17th cen. At times I felt there was too much of the 'big history' dates and events (although that's interesting ) and not enough of the 'small history' (although the plague bit was top notch). e.g) Her face was white......a rictus of death. Nice work there. A bit more of that please!

One more thing. I wasn't sure if this was a deliberate stylisation? You don't seem to put a space between punctuation and the next word?

Also, I got a bit of deja vu when reading the third chpt. I think you've uploaded the chapter twice. At the end of chpt 2.

All in all not a bad piece of work and I enjoyed.

Cheers. Dantes.

What a great voice you have! Have you been channelling the spirits of the past to recreate this fun, moving and thrilling romp? Thoroughly enjoying it!

Very good reading, well done. Rate highly

I really enjoyed the style you chose to write this in. It reminds me a little of Robinson Crusoe.

At times the MC seems a little detached, but I think that is due to the style. His actions do much to tell us what he is thinking and feeling, without having to really say 'woe is me'.

The research you've done really shows and I have no trouble getting a feel for the time.
I look forward to reading more of this when my WL gets cleared up! For now, lots of stars and well done!

April Gray
The Illusion

This book reminds me how well-written books with such great flow makes it so hard to stop reading. It had the feel of an old classic with a modern energy. I could see the story, almost like watching a movie. This is great stuff. I can't wait to read the rest.Congrats!

Nicely narrated in an old-fashion voice that isn't so stilted one would get tired of it. Written in the P.O.V. of the buccaneer, I found myself quite sympathetic to his many plights. This protagonist is fascinating and well drawn and his adventures both on the Continent and in the Caribbean are fascinating.

A lot of good research in this novel. I have had it on my shelf for awhile and will be back to see if you add any more chapters. An excellent read.

Betty K "The Merchant's Dilemma"

Jacqueline is a genuine and engaging character. Storyline continues to flow and the literary research continues. I see how you are fleshing out the supporting characters. Typo's a few but don't take away from the great narrative. I can see the hill side run and almost taste the apples and Norman cheese. Good job again.--JL "The Devil Of Black Bayou"

A very EXCITING and action packed book.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds