Book Jacket

 

rank 4974
word count 64289
date submitted 15.05.2011
date updated 20.07.2011
genres: Fiction, Romance, Historical Fictio...
classification: moderate
complete

Becoming a Lady

Margaret Fleming

It's not easy becoming a lady. Especially when starting from rock bottom, as Katy is discovering. She needs assistance, but who can she trust?

 

Aberdeenshire, Autumn 1878.

Katy dreams of leaving the inn near the harbour. The expensive lessons learning how to walk and talk are wasted, as she waits tables fending off abusive and rowdy punters.

George admires Katy from afar. If she only had money not just looks. His paltry bank balance is a source of constant irritation. Marrying well seems his only hope. But is there an easy way to get rich and win Katy? Will she go along with the plan?

Henry has all the money he needs but a demanding family who would have it all for themselves. Despising the curse of being wanted only for his financial assets, he must always pay for others to realise their ambitions. But what about his own? He dreams of exacting revenge on those who love only his money, but is that really enough?

For Katy to realise her ambition and escape the drudgery of her life, she must find an escape route. With the family-run Inn sinking lower and lower, the possibility of getting out is evermore distant. How can she break away? And if she does, what unknown complications lie ahead?

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19th century, aberdeen, adversity, atmospheric, attraction, betrayal, character driven, classes, easy read, family relationships, happy ending, head o...

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Henry Cranston paced the drawing room, dressed in his best suit, adjusting his high collar slightly as he passed the mirror. He had very little desire to meet the man. He did however have a an overwhelming yearning to escape from the continual nagging of his mother and sister and this seemed the only way to accomplish it peacefully.

‘Do sit down, Henry,’ snapped his mother, ‘you’re wearing away the carpet.’

He ignored her. His eyes chanced upon Arabella, his young niece. She looked white. Perhaps she expected him to descend upon the young man like a hungry lion, or throw him from house.

He was on the verge of speaking a word of comfort when his sister piped up.

‘Oh Henry, sit down now. You’re making us dizzy, there’s no need to pace so. Mr Darroch is a highly respectable young man, your apprehension is getting on our nerves, sit down and behave like a man, not a baby.’

‘A what, you…’

The door opened, an argument was averted.

‘Mr Neil Darroch,’ announced the footman.

He entered, visibly shaking, like a man being led to the gallows. Henry wondered what stories the women had spread about him to make the young man look so anxious.

He waited until his mother and sister had poured greetings and compliments all over the poor soul. The cautious reunion between the betrothed couple struck him as a little forced, a gentle smile returned with a faint blush. Perhaps it was his presence that prevented a more animated show of affection, even a kiss of the hand would have seemed in order.

Henry paced a little more, wondering when the clucking would stop. He felt quite invisible, a strange condition considering the weight they had all put on this meeting. Once again he realised it was only his money that made him important, without it he would disappear. He was a man of no significance, no distinction, he had bought everything he needed but earned nothing other than cold hard riches.

Finally done with her cooing over the new arrival, Mrs Cranston introduced her son. Henry shook hands with Mr Darroch, he could still feel a slight tremble. The man seemed somewhat meek. For his niece however, that would suit terribly well, she was one of the most insipid creatures he’d ever come across. Her temperament lacked any sensation whatsoever, she moved liked a statue on wheels, gliding serenely, hardly moving a limb. When she spoke it was monotonous, her conversation was dull and languid, she never smiled or frowned, slight changes in the colour of her complexion were the only indication that she was a living creature, not simply a talking figurine.

His mother and Prudence were talking, Mr Darroch was listening very attentively, sitting upright and nodding vigorously, laughing on cue and sympathising if necessary. It was an interesting spectacle. He did not enter into the conversation himself, there was no point. Listening for anything vaguely amusing in their talk was tiresome enough as he was wholly turned off by the dull chat about people he didn’t know or care for and even more so by the constant compliments and admiration bestowed on Mr Darroch.

He wondered if they would ever get to the point, or if there even was a point. Had they primed the poor boy to beg for a hand out? Or advised him to ask subtly, using excuses like how it would enable them to marry straight away. Or were they just whittling the afternoon away trying to make Mr Darroch seem irresistible so that Henry would simply stand up at the end of the day and announce that he’d been so taken with Mr Darroch that he was going to bestow his niece with a whopping dowry and pack them off to be married straight away. That would be the easiest option, he knew however, no mater how much he gave her, it would never be enough. Not if he settled on the figure. If the ladies themselves were allowed to choose, he knew they would ask too much, it would be completely unreasonable. Mr Darroch was a man of business, he had the right to earn his own fortune. Giving him a huge sum now would do nothing but render him a lazy and indolent, not something Henry wanted for his niece. It may seem the easy option now but it did nothing for society, he did not approve, it made Neil Darroch little more than a worthless charity case, though the sums involved were considerably more. He wondered how much Mr Darroch would dare ask, if he would ever have the nerve to speak at all. If the request came from that quarter it was likely to be more modest and the women couldn’t blame Henry for being stingy or grudging, he would merely be fulfilling the man’s request.

Tea came and went as the talk continued, the pattern unvarying. Sipping his tea, Henry wondered if his niece and Mr Darroch had ever managed to talk to one and other alone, how had he proposed?  The opportunity for them to be left in peace for long enough seemed impossible. Henry concluded it was most likely done in a letter, he wondered if they had ever in fact been alone in each other’s company. What a shock it would be after the wedding, would they talk for days on end to release all the things they’d never been permitted to say or would they be silent, unable to find anything to discuss, nobody to supply them with endless tattle to agree or sympathise with.

With winter now upon them, the nights were closing in much faster; the afternoon seemed likely to end in stalemate. Henry’s silence hadn’t been challenged.

‘I should probably get back to town, before nightfall,’ said Neil Darroch, ‘my brother’s expecting me back this evening.’

Mrs Cranston looked vexed, ‘Henry, have you anything to say to him, before he leaves.’

‘Indeed I do,’ said Henry, rubbing his hands together, ‘Mr Darroch, I’ll accompany you back to town. I have business of my own there.’

Mrs Cranston and her daughter exchanged looks of surprise, they knew nothing of this plan but didn’t voice their vexation in front of Mr Darroch.

‘I must change for the journey; I’ll meet you outside in half an hour.’

No time was wasted in retrieving his greatcoat, his bag was already packed. Pleading the necessity for haste, he left his mother and sister dumbfounded as he headed for the main door.

He arrived outside at half past three. Neil was waiting, his horse in hand. His own brougham was brought up seconds later.

‘We’ll take my carriage if you don’t mind, to the city,’ said Henry, ‘my man will ride your horse, you can take reclaim him when we arrive. We can talk better this way.’

If he objected, there was nothing he could do. Saying nothing, he allowed his horse to be taken by the manservant.

They boarded the carriage moments later. Neil Darroch seemed struck by a vow of silence.

Sheepskin rugs covered the seats but they didn’t completely exclude the cold. Henry rubbed his gloved hands on his legs attempting to increase their warmth.

‘I have no objection to you marrying my niece,’ said Henry, without preamble. It was time to get to the point, ‘when do you propose the event takes place?’

‘Well sir,’ said Neil, a slight tremor in his voice, ‘there’s a difficulty with that.’

‘I thought there might be,’ said Henry, ‘a financial difficulty I suppose? One that can only be overcome if I endow my niece with a substantial dowry or an allowance perhaps.’

‘Please, I don’t wish it to appear that I’m only after her money.’

‘Good,’ said Henry, ‘because as it stands, she has none.’

‘And that’s fine,’ said Neil, quickly, ‘I want to marry her anyway, for… love.’

He looked extremely embarrassed. The carriage moved off with a lurch.

‘Love? I’m glad you think such a thing is possible.’

‘I do,’ said Neil.

‘Then I admire your conviction, I personally don’t believe in such a thing, but I respect your certainty. So you will marry her as she is?’

‘I will, though the problem won’t go away. My income might increase in time, I certainly hope so but I’d like to be able to keep Arabella in the style that she’s used to, she deserves that and I’m not sure my means will allow it, and… well, I have a brother.’

‘And why is that a problem?’

‘We live in the same house, without each other we couldn’t afford such a grand residence, we’d both have to move. I don’t know if Arabella could cope in such reduced circumstances.’

Henry looked out at the darkening world, sleety rain had started to fall and the trees looked suddenly bare, ghastly long fingers pointing upwards. Icy droplets spattered the carriage windows.

‘Let’s say I was to give my niece the allowance she needs, enough to let you stay in your current abode until you have the means to fund it yourself. Even with that I can’t do anything for your brother. I’m not here to subsidise you and your whole family simply because you wish to marry my niece.’

‘Indeed, I know sir,’ said Neil, ‘and if we marry, I’ll come to some other arrangement with my brother.’

‘That’s your business. Mine is to discover just exactly what you propose a sensible figure for this dowry, you haven’t yet named your price.’

The carriage jolted over some rough ground that shook their bones, Henry wondered if the additional movement had actually been caused by the renewed trembling of Neil Darroch. He waited.

 

Chapters

6

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Sophy wrote 450 days ago

Hi Margaret,
I've read the first 3 chapters, and like it so far. You have great introductions to the chapters - makes the reader 'there' with the character without endless descriptions of scenery. It is easy to see it through the action. If you're after constructive feedback, here's my thoughts:
Generally - some of your sentences are very long, perhaps putting in a full stop where there is a comma might help - eg 2nd last sentence of chapter 1.

chapter 2 - referring to his breakfast as the 'fair' - should spell 'fare' - occurs twice in this chapter.
'half and hour ago' ought to be 'half an hour ago.
Esther's language is not always consistent - she mixes educated speech with colloquial terms - but this might be intentional, and maybe it's just me, so don't worry too much!

chapter 3 - 'spoons drooping on the best china' - perhaps 'dropping' as it is referring to the clinking noise they make. Some sentences need tightening up again, or cutting in half.

Keen to read more - let me know if you would prefer not to have feedback like this, it is all little stuff. I do like your story and the setting is great.

good luck with it,
regards, Sophy

Bucephalus wrote 503 days ago

Hi Margaret
I liked the construct of this story, and the sheer energy of your writing style. As a personal observation I would suggest tightening the final paragraph a little.
best regards
Steve

Carol Ritten Smith wrote 672 days ago

Hi Margaret. I'm enjoying your book and I've decided to rate it high and pop it on to my bookshelf. I'm curious as to how you got to number eight hundred-something when you have so few backings. What number did you start with? I'm still trying to figure out Authonomy's ranking system. Best wishes with "Becoming a Lady." Carol

auntie_hen wrote 695 days ago

I love historical fiction. I like this as it is set in a different location. too many are set in London, this is interesting. I like the characters and find them enagaging and interesting. I will read more soon.

Carol Ritten Smith wrote 709 days ago

Hi Margaret. Becoming a Lady is definitely my kind of story. I love historical novels of this era. You described the atmosphere of the inn so well, I was right there. You certainly utilized the senses: noisy banter... tankards clanged... thick air... pinching fingers. Your dialogue is strong and the rude remarks made by the boors in the inn really add to the atmosphere. I often critique as I read each chapter, so here goes Chapter one. In Canada we spell lightening, lightning. My old dictionary, printed in Great Britain, spells it that way, too, so maybe you'd better spell check that word. Also, I'm a stickler for grammar. The second paragraph has run on sentences. My published friend told me that his editor wanted more short and to-the-point sentences for ease of reading and comprehension. When I write, my sentences are never longer than what I could read aloud in one breath. I felt light-headed reading your forty-nine word sentence/paragraph. This is how I might rewrite it. 'Kate cursed as her hands slammed the tabletop and the tray of drinks slipped from her fingers. Its contents flowed freely across the table and dripped over the edge. The man leapt to his feet, snarling . . .' I've separated your one-sentence paragraph into three sentences, but you could make it into two if you kept the comma between 'fingers' and 'its'. But you definitely need to break it into two. Please realize I am only offering suggestions and you can disregard any or all of what I say. My intentions are to bring out the best in fellow writers. Believe me, I've had plenty of advice and hard critiques over the many years I've written. I wish you the best and will continue reading about Kate and the mysterious gentleman. Carol

sweet honey wrote 712 days ago

Vivid description of an inn in the first chapter. We meet Katy, a girl who wants better for herself, and is neither timid nor shy. Me thinks she'll do well for herself. Might the wet stranger seeking board in her father's inn be the one to make her dreams come true? Perhaps not. We can only find out one way.

AnneEvans wrote 720 days ago

only read the first chapter so far, but you do a good job of getting the reader interested up front. I'm interested in reading the rest.

Jacoba wrote 729 days ago

Hi,
I read all your chapters and this is really good. Well written with a nice easy flow making the reader immersed in your story. I liked all the characters they are all complex in their own way and I like the way you have tied them together. I feel a clever plot unfolding already at this early stage. I have a feeling Katy's casual feisty attitude is going to turn a few heads and attract attention. Possibly from both bachelor patrons??? I think I'm gunning for the poor rich lord who has to contend with a house full of women. I'd like to see his demeanour change and perhaps be happy.
If you post anymore let me know, I'd like to read on.
Well done,
Star rated and watchlisted for now,
Cheers Jacoba

Su Dan wrote 733 days ago

a well written piece; great flow, easy to read, and enjoyable...l shall back...
read SEASONS...

senyah nala wrote 734 days ago

Margaret (BECOMING A LADY)

This is not my normal sort of read, but browsing the site your pitch for the book sounded interesting and I read three chapters.
It is a pleasant story and well written. Your writing is very descriptive and you make it easy for the reader to imagine being there. I also like the way you have of getting right into the feelings of your characters.
I trust Katy will eventually achieve what she wants.
I'm sure your book will appeal to many. It's going on my shelf. All the best.

Al

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