Book Jacket

 

rank 4974
word count 64289
date submitted 15.05.2011
date updated 20.07.2011
genres: Fiction, Romance, Historical Fictio...
classification: moderate
complete

Becoming a Lady

Margaret Fleming

It's not easy becoming a lady. Especially when starting from rock bottom, as Katy is discovering. She needs assistance, but who can she trust?

 

Aberdeenshire, Autumn 1878.

Katy dreams of leaving the inn near the harbour. The expensive lessons learning how to walk and talk are wasted, as she waits tables fending off abusive and rowdy punters.

George admires Katy from afar. If she only had money not just looks. His paltry bank balance is a source of constant irritation. Marrying well seems his only hope. But is there an easy way to get rich and win Katy? Will she go along with the plan?

Henry has all the money he needs but a demanding family who would have it all for themselves. Despising the curse of being wanted only for his financial assets, he must always pay for others to realise their ambitions. But what about his own? He dreams of exacting revenge on those who love only his money, but is that really enough?

For Katy to realise her ambition and escape the drudgery of her life, she must find an escape route. With the family-run Inn sinking lower and lower, the possibility of getting out is evermore distant. How can she break away? And if she does, what unknown complications lie ahead?

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19th century, aberdeen, adversity, atmospheric, attraction, betrayal, character driven, classes, easy read, family relationships, happy ending, head o...

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The two children were rolling on the grass laughing and squealing with delight. Juliet Colquhoun watched a little apprehensively, the young nurse stood a few steps ahead, charged with the care of the perambulator.

‘This is normal, I suppose,’ Juliet asked her.

‘Oh ay, Madam, they do it all the time, it’s good for them, you know how annoying they are when they’re stuck in all day.’

‘I wonder that it’s quite ladylike for Elizabeth to join in so.’

‘Look about madam, lots of girls are doing the same, she’ll still grow into a fine lady if you let her be a child today. I’m sure you frolicked about the same when you were a girl.’

‘No, I don’t think so. My sister, Frances, is only two years older than Elizabeth and I don’t recall my mother allowing her to behave in such a way.’

‘Ay but they’re country folk madam. Much more room for them to go about in, you’ve got to allow the weans in the city the chance to roam free, you don’t want them to be sickly from being stuck indoors.’

‘No, I certainly don’t want that, but…’

She did not continue, only wondered how easily the garments would wash. She was glad it was something she wouldn’t have to do personally. She also felt a great deal of relief that her mother wasn’t witness to this, she could imagine her disapproval.

‘Hello!’

She looked up from the frolicking duo at the sound of a male voice. Recognising the ruddy, cheerful face of Mr Neil Darroch, she smiled and waved.

‘good afternoon to you,’ he said, tipping his hat, ‘what a change in the weather, I thought I’d walk this way to see if there was any damage done to this beautiful park in those terrible winds last night.’

‘Yes indeed,’ said Juliet, looking round to see for herself, ‘it doesn’t look too bad.’

‘No,’ he agreed, ‘I see a few bent saplings back there but nothing too serious. I hope our mutual connections at Tharstaine have been equally fortunate. That great estate is very exposed, I feel certain they must’ve suffered some loss.’

‘Yes, I had not thought on that. You’re probably right. I should write to mother later, though if there is anything to report I expect she’ll have written me already.’

‘And have you met the new Mrs Cranston?’ inquired Neil.

‘No, not yet. This is my first day out, since my confinement. I may have the strength to travel there soon, though I thought my uncle Henry might have had the courtesy to bring her to visit me, after all my condition dictates that I am unable to make an early visit.’

‘My brother and I are hoping to travel there soon also, to meet the lady and to finalise the wedding plans.’

‘Oh good, I am so glad you are doing it so correctly. You heard I suppose about the ridiculous fashion in which my uncle married this woman, his last minute imposition on my Archie, it seems so very underhand.’

Juliet walked a little along the path as she spoke, moving out of earshot of the nurse.

‘I did hear, I thought it somewhat odd. I always thought him a man of strong character and sound principles. This hasty marriage does seem unlikely.’

Juliet sighed, ‘one doesn’t like to jump to erroneous conclusions, especially as the woman in question is unknown to me, but it’s hard not to suspect the worst in such a case. I only hope my uncle realises what a difficult position he’s placed us in, I do feel extremely foolish not knowing anything about the affair. I’ve already been asked on several occasions about it and what should I say? It’s really too vexing. I hope it hasn’t affected your opinion of Arabella.’

Neil blushed slightly, ‘no indeed, nothing should change my opinion on that score.’

‘Well, that’s a blessing at least. And how is your brother? I used to see much of him at parties in town but as I’ve been out of society for a while I haven’t seen him for an age.’

‘He’s…’ Neil hesitated, Juliet saw something was troubling him.

‘He’s not ill?’ she asked.

‘No, but he’s much depressed, I’ve never seen him in such low spirits. I think it’s partly my fault. My marriage will mean much upheaval and change for him, I don’t think he is bearing it well, it makes it very hard for me.’

‘Indeed,’ said Juliet, her tone soothing, ‘but he will be fine, I always thought he would make quite a spectacular marriage, he is blessed with fine looks and he always talks so very amusingly.’

Neil hesitated once more, ‘I think he hopes to pay addresses to your sister, Miranda. Do you think your mother would be conducive to that?’

‘I see no reason why not, I believe she always liked him. I had no idea my sister was of any interest to him, is this a new scheme?’

‘No, no, I think he’s admired her for some time, he thought she was perhaps a little young.’

‘She is young, but then I was married at 17 and so was my mother, so that in itself shouldn’t be a problem. I merely wonder… does he wish to profit from my uncle’s generosity, as you and Arabella have?’

Neil shifted uneasily, ‘I’m sure I don’t know.’

‘I just wonder if my uncle’s new wife will cause problems. Arabella has written to me about her several times. She says his wife is like a guard dog, she defends his money even more than he does himself. If he wishes to make a good impression, I think he should seek to impress her rather than my uncle. If Arabella is to be believed my uncle has become a doting fool in his wife’s presence. She needs only command and he obeys on bended knee.’

Neil took a deep breath, ‘indeed, she sounds like a paragon to be reckoned with. I shall relay this information to my brother and I thank you for relating it to me so frankly and generously.’

They exchanged farewells and Neil made his way towards the park gate. The information he’d received did little to cheer him. The only part that suggested any hope was that it was the new wife that seemed now in control of the Cranston fortune, that at least would please George. His famed charm could surely break down the defences of any woman. Neil didn’t find much comfort in this however, the idea of his brother marrying an unsuspecting young girl filled him with sorrow. If only he had the courage to prevent it. He may then save the girl but what of George. His brother had his faults, but what man didn’t. He couldn’t abandon him, it was impossible, it was a base betrayal of the promise he’d made to his dying mother to take care of George. A betrayal of a brother he’d grown up with and shared memories that couldn’t be replaced or removed without pain and grief.

The feelings of joy and anticipation that should accompany his impending nuptials were stained by those of uncertainly and worry.

 

Chapters

30

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Sophy wrote 450 days ago

Hi Margaret,
I've read the first 3 chapters, and like it so far. You have great introductions to the chapters - makes the reader 'there' with the character without endless descriptions of scenery. It is easy to see it through the action. If you're after constructive feedback, here's my thoughts:
Generally - some of your sentences are very long, perhaps putting in a full stop where there is a comma might help - eg 2nd last sentence of chapter 1.

chapter 2 - referring to his breakfast as the 'fair' - should spell 'fare' - occurs twice in this chapter.
'half and hour ago' ought to be 'half an hour ago.
Esther's language is not always consistent - she mixes educated speech with colloquial terms - but this might be intentional, and maybe it's just me, so don't worry too much!

chapter 3 - 'spoons drooping on the best china' - perhaps 'dropping' as it is referring to the clinking noise they make. Some sentences need tightening up again, or cutting in half.

Keen to read more - let me know if you would prefer not to have feedback like this, it is all little stuff. I do like your story and the setting is great.

good luck with it,
regards, Sophy

Bucephalus wrote 503 days ago

Hi Margaret
I liked the construct of this story, and the sheer energy of your writing style. As a personal observation I would suggest tightening the final paragraph a little.
best regards
Steve

Carol Ritten Smith wrote 672 days ago

Hi Margaret. I'm enjoying your book and I've decided to rate it high and pop it on to my bookshelf. I'm curious as to how you got to number eight hundred-something when you have so few backings. What number did you start with? I'm still trying to figure out Authonomy's ranking system. Best wishes with "Becoming a Lady." Carol

auntie_hen wrote 695 days ago

I love historical fiction. I like this as it is set in a different location. too many are set in London, this is interesting. I like the characters and find them enagaging and interesting. I will read more soon.

Carol Ritten Smith wrote 709 days ago

Hi Margaret. Becoming a Lady is definitely my kind of story. I love historical novels of this era. You described the atmosphere of the inn so well, I was right there. You certainly utilized the senses: noisy banter... tankards clanged... thick air... pinching fingers. Your dialogue is strong and the rude remarks made by the boors in the inn really add to the atmosphere. I often critique as I read each chapter, so here goes Chapter one. In Canada we spell lightening, lightning. My old dictionary, printed in Great Britain, spells it that way, too, so maybe you'd better spell check that word. Also, I'm a stickler for grammar. The second paragraph has run on sentences. My published friend told me that his editor wanted more short and to-the-point sentences for ease of reading and comprehension. When I write, my sentences are never longer than what I could read aloud in one breath. I felt light-headed reading your forty-nine word sentence/paragraph. This is how I might rewrite it. 'Kate cursed as her hands slammed the tabletop and the tray of drinks slipped from her fingers. Its contents flowed freely across the table and dripped over the edge. The man leapt to his feet, snarling . . .' I've separated your one-sentence paragraph into three sentences, but you could make it into two if you kept the comma between 'fingers' and 'its'. But you definitely need to break it into two. Please realize I am only offering suggestions and you can disregard any or all of what I say. My intentions are to bring out the best in fellow writers. Believe me, I've had plenty of advice and hard critiques over the many years I've written. I wish you the best and will continue reading about Kate and the mysterious gentleman. Carol

sweet honey wrote 712 days ago

Vivid description of an inn in the first chapter. We meet Katy, a girl who wants better for herself, and is neither timid nor shy. Me thinks she'll do well for herself. Might the wet stranger seeking board in her father's inn be the one to make her dreams come true? Perhaps not. We can only find out one way.

AnneEvans wrote 720 days ago

only read the first chapter so far, but you do a good job of getting the reader interested up front. I'm interested in reading the rest.

Jacoba wrote 729 days ago

Hi,
I read all your chapters and this is really good. Well written with a nice easy flow making the reader immersed in your story. I liked all the characters they are all complex in their own way and I like the way you have tied them together. I feel a clever plot unfolding already at this early stage. I have a feeling Katy's casual feisty attitude is going to turn a few heads and attract attention. Possibly from both bachelor patrons??? I think I'm gunning for the poor rich lord who has to contend with a house full of women. I'd like to see his demeanour change and perhaps be happy.
If you post anymore let me know, I'd like to read on.
Well done,
Star rated and watchlisted for now,
Cheers Jacoba

Su Dan wrote 733 days ago

a well written piece; great flow, easy to read, and enjoyable...l shall back...
read SEASONS...

senyah nala wrote 734 days ago

Margaret (BECOMING A LADY)

This is not my normal sort of read, but browsing the site your pitch for the book sounded interesting and I read three chapters.
It is a pleasant story and well written. Your writing is very descriptive and you make it easy for the reader to imagine being there. I also like the way you have of getting right into the feelings of your characters.
I trust Katy will eventually achieve what she wants.
I'm sure your book will appeal to many. It's going on my shelf. All the best.

Al

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