A Mother In Israel

I enjoyed reading your first chapter, if enjoyed is a suitable word for the harrowing experience Maacah endures.
Maacah looks for forgiveness from her newborn for the hardships of life that will be inevitable in her young daughter's life because she is a girl.....very sad, really.
This chapter is very well written. There is heart and soul in the emotions of those involved, Maacah and the midwives.
The background knowledge of the religions of the peoples is well presented. Maacah believes in the one true God and not in false idols. She asks that this God protects her daughter.
Reumah is nice. It is good that Deborah has a mother figure and is loved by this person.
When God appeared to Deborah I didn't think that she would be believed.
Very sad that Reumah is to be sold as a slave again. Harrowing scene with her departure. Poor Deborah.

Well done with this book. Highly enjoyable. Lots of stars for it.
Alice.

I found A Mother in Israel to be quite fascinating in terms of its insight and depth of understanding of the scriptures and their impact on the central characters in the story, particularly Deborah. It must be difficult to construct a historical fiction based on the bible without resorting to paraphrasing events and accounts already transcribed in the Old Testament, but author Jessica Goforth has accomplished an engaging story free from directly lifting text from the bible. High stars and Wl'ed.

Clive Radford
Doghouse Blues

I am so glad someone wrote about Deborah!
Thanks Roslyn
"I Am" Through the Ages

A lot of emotion and mixture of religious concepts and social expectation.
Very sad though awakening situation, that a woman is blamed and treated low for giving birth to a baby girl.
Debrah's effection to her husband and appreciation of having him as a husband,is very emotional.
Then very amusing of her interaction with the lord.
A long and big book. Contains a lots of emotion, secrecy and deception.
I read some of it earlier in the year then some more more now.
Well written, good book.

Jessica,
I love biblical stories and yours didn't disappoint, even though i have only read the first three chapters. I have a couple of observations, please do with them as you wish.
In chapter two:
"Eliab's first wife died during the rain season after Deborah's birth."
I noted in chapter one, Maacah was Eliab's third wife. In the above sentence, did you mean Eliab's number one wife? Or, Eliab's favourite wife?
"She weeded, built fires, and carded wood." Should it be carted wood?
Overall, a wonderful read, even the interaction between Deborah and the Lord is well portrayed.
High stars and on my shelf.
Cheers.
Adria

A compelling novel - it really brings the Bible verses to life. Very well written with authentic sounding dialogue. Backed with pleasure.

Meg Wearing
A Shamrock On The Verandah

I found your book on the site and thought I'd like it, as I write biblical historical fiction also. I see you are a very accomplished writer, and have little if not any errors, and your writing is so very touching. Right away, I could feel for Maacah and little Deborah. It took no time getting into the story, and it has such a lovely feel to it. I can't tell you anything I didn't like about it, as the plot is wonderful, and the dialogue and characters very real to the time. I give you high stars for this.

Kara
A Gate Called Beautiful

I have only read chapter one so far as chap 2 wouldn't upload.
Liked the opening scene as it pulled me straight in to the story. This was very sad, especially the fact that Maacah believed she had failed her husband because she had given birth to a daughter (Deborah).
We are left with the question in our minds - 'what will happen to Deborah' as her mother lies dying. This adds some suspense very early on which keeps the reader's interest.
The rest of this chapter is nicely written and flows well. More suspense at the end 'It was time for another lesson, and for another judge,'

I will be back to read chap 2 when I can upload it.

High stars and wishing you all the best with this.
Debbie
'Speedy McCready'

MOTHER IN ISRAEL
This is a story with a dramatic beginning: a mother who has just given birth is clearly dying. Lays a good foundation for suspense as to what will happen to the baby; also lets you include the back story. Good setup. Reumah is a pleasant addition to the story; brings some sunlight into Deborah’s life. It’s hard to imagine what life was like when only a few could read; especially a woman. It’s interesting to see when Deborah learns that, she acquires power. And then the Lord speaks to her . . . I like this story a lot. I think you portray the time period well. You have a good main character in Deborah. I’m starring this and adding it to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

I'm enjoying the way you're imagining and fleshing out this story of Deborah. So far I've read only the first two chapters, but I intend to read more. You create situations that make us care for (or worry about) the characters.

The only critique I would make is that it seems that the writer's maxim "Show, not tell" is maybe a challenge for you. (It's a challenge for me, which might be why I notice it in others.) I think the second chapter does a better job of "showing," but there's still quite a bit of "telling" going on. I admit it's tough to incorporate cultural and Biblical explanations in the story without taking time to flat-out EXPLAIN them, but I think the story would be stronger if you could find a way to do that.

On a more technical note--you might want to change your designation in the third paragraph of chapter two, where you talk about "Eliab's first wife"--presumably you mean his primary wife after the one you mention in chapter one who died after their first year of marriage or whatever it was. But it was a little confusing and took me a minute to work that out, taking me out of the story.

I do enjoy watching the relationship being built between Deborah and Reumah, and feel concern about the outcome.

Whenever I get a chance to come back and read more, I'll be sure to comment again.

Hi Jessica,

I had forgotten that I had read some of your book a very long time ago. It was a pleasure to get back into it. I read chapter four which is filled with great ridicule and sadness for Deborah. Her story is written with a lot of strong emotion that really pulled at my heartstrings.

You did such a wonderful job building up Deborah’s relationship with Reumah. It really stung to see them separated. Do Biblical scholars think that Deborah was only ten when she started prophesying? Is that age normal for male prophets as well, or was Deborah simply a very unique voice for God? Your story really got me thinking.

Jessica, you are a very gifted writer and an articulate proclaimer of God’s word in your own right. The scenes you paint are imaginable, the relationships seem authentic, and your knowledge of Biblical times is very impressive - you really bring it to life. A bump to highest stars!

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

Chapter 3:

I love your description of the LORD's voice, so strong and wild, reverberating even through the ground, then softer and gentle. Perfect description of God, so all-encompassing, mercy and justice by turns. Deborah's fears ring true, but also her courage in bearing witness to her family. She shows more courage than many people twice her years.

Two thoughts I had. 1) it would be nice to know how old Deborah is by now, and 2) since you give information about the background idolatry here through Reumah's words to Deborah you may not need so much background "telling" in chapter 1. It's always better to weave the background into the story like you have here in chapter 3, in my opinion. Just something to think about as you're editing and revising.

This is a wonderful story, and I'm giving it 6 stars! I hope you'll continue to promote it and get it published, because it's excellent!

Chapter 2: Beautiful writing, and a wonderful character unfolding in both Deborah and Reumah! I love the simple elegance of your wording, not pretentious, just bringing the message across clearly. Such nice touches, like Deborah seeing the fear in Reumah's eyes like that in the sheep's eyes when attacked by a lioness. It's perfect! We care about Deborah already, and it makes us want to read more. We rejoice in her happiness and love Reumah, and the foreboding at the very end makes us want to read further even though we're afraid what will happen to intrude on their happiness.

Hi Jessica, you backed my book, A War Within, a while ago and I realized I had yet to come by and read and comment on yours! Sorry for the oversight, and here I am now to make up for lost time.

Chapter 1 really drew me in with Maacah's heartbreaking story, and already we are worried for the baby Deborah. How will she live and grow up in such a hostile environment? The rest of the chapter was familiar from Bible reading, but also necessary background for the reader. I like the way you end the chapter with a strong statement that pulls the reader into chapter 2. I'll keep reading. :)

Jessica Goforth,

Is that really your last name? Perhaps you are a prophetess too! I had only time to read the first three chapters of your wonderful book. So I promise to come back. What I did read, captured me right away. Your story is direct and moves along at good pace, keeping the reader moving forward. Descriptions of setting and character are concise, not bogging the reader down. With efficient words, you drum up my emotion and compassion for the the young girl, Deborah. This is a very fine work. Highly Starred!

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

Dear Jessica,
I read "A Mother in Israel" and was amazed at your masterful prose style and beautiful storytelling. You capture the essence of ancient Israelite-Near Eastern culture and create such believable and sympathetic characters in Deborah and Reumah. Truly an exceptional book. I read it with an eye to catching some "mistake" that a Gentile would make especially with regard to Jewish law, but I could not find any. As an Orthodox Jew, and I can honestly say that you wrote this book with tremendous sensitivity and beauty and respect towards the Jewish religion. The only critique I could give you would be to not use Hashem's holy name "Y--------h", instead write, "Yud Kay Vav Kay" and for "Elohim" you can instead write "Elokim". Instead of "El Shaddai" you can write "Kel Shakkai" Once you print holy names in a book, the book takes on the status of sheimos and can't be read in a bathroom or thrown in the garbage; it would have to be buried.
Overall, truly outstanding job!
Best,
Sophie Schiller

Hi, Jessica - I agree with previous reviewers who note that the story of Deborah is worth telling. I like all the details you add to the 2 chapters we already have in the Bible. Perhaps a bit more about clothing and the people would help the reader 'see' Deborah's time.

Two grammar nits:
None of them knew what lie ahead….should be lay.
Deborah lie under the stars at top of upload 12 – should be lay.

Best of luck
~Audrey

I'll be back to read and comment, but I'm happy to back another Christian's book, especially one that's historical fiction like mine!

All the best, and God bless,

Nathan Maki - A War Within

This is a well done story of Deborah's life. Watch the overuse of commas, however. I'll give two examples of what seems to be overuse:
Chapter Two
Sixth paragraph: not sure that it needs a comma between “into herself, and stopped bringing treasures..”
Seventh paragraph: “quiet, and thoughtful” - no comma needed
Also on Chapter One, the break between Deborah's birth and the rest of the chapter seems a bit awkward. This contains good information, but perhaps could have been in italics (if that's possible), or made a new chapter. Overall, I like the story - it pulls in facts and weaves a tale of a young girl's life - one who grows to become an amazing strong woman of the Bible. Thanks for sharing.

I think this is really well written. I very much enjoy historical fiction and I was eager to read a story about Deborah as I feel she is not written about or explained as often or with as much detail as she should be. She is a fascinating biblical character and from what I have read so far, you do her justice.

I would have liked a bit more description of the people - what they looked like - what they wore. But otherwise I thought that it was very well done.

All the best,

Rena

Jessica,

This is an excellent book. I think many young adults, especially women, will greatly enjoy reading it. I shouldn’t admit it, but I’m a middle-aged, male math teacher and I really enjoyed reading it!

A few very minor suggestions:

1. In chapter 4, in the fourth paragraph from the end, you write, “At last one day she was so hungry she could no longer bear it, and she ate a small piece of barley bread. Her strength eventually returned to her, and she resumed her duties.” The transition from not eating to resuming duties seems to occur a little too quickly for me.

2. In chapter 5, Deborah goes “into the grove of olive trees to urinate.” For me, the word “urinate” has a modern ring to it. I might use something like the phrase used in I Samuel 24:3, NIV: “Saul went in to relieve himself.”

This is minor nitpicking – go with what you think is best. Overall, the book is written extremely well. You have my backing.

Thanks,
David Bortress – I Will Help You Speak