Ozoneraser

Hi Jeannette,
I thank you with my heart and soul, for the fantastic comment you posted:) Like you, a few other readers expressed the desire to connect with a main character/the protagonist/A hero. The protagonist in this story is the President of United states. And as you know, he cannot jump into story earlier unless the stage is set for his total involvement. He enters in ch.4 and slowly takes control of the story as we proceed from ch.5 through ch.7, by then all diplomatic efforts go fruitless, and Washington,white house including first lady become victims. He then takes things on to himself and act as the central character till the end of the story. Ch.14. Also as you see my chapters are very big. Ozoneraser is complete,edited several times (Thanks to the authonomy readers,like you, who made it possible) and ready with approximately 84000 words.

Thank you once again for your involved reading:)

venkatarama
Ozoneraser

Fascinating story! :-) Great writing. Love how you move through conversations. It seems to make your story live. It jumps into the plot with both feet, and doesnt let you off. :-) I loved the way you connected us so well to that first little family that disappeared, though, and wondered at their disappearance, who would be your hero, your protagonist- the one character or little group of characters that you would focus on. But after that, your story seemed to explode into action everywhere, and I kind of got lost as to who to focus on. I like to connect to people. I also kind of got bogged down in all the detail when the town goes crazy with everyone disappearing, till the helicopter disappears, then the plot seems to start moving again. I think in a movie, it would go faster (see Im already seeing this as a movie), it just seemed to kind of get bogged down there on a written page --for me. :-)
I love your sweet little children personalities. they add a lot of reality and light to what could be a very dark story. It makes it into the kind of book that will be widely read.
I have no edits. You really have a gift for words and putting action onto a page. :-)
As a reader, the only thing I would suggest, is to trim it down somehow. Write up an outline, of where your plot is going, and who your main characters are, focus on them, and trim the rest.
just something to think about. good luck! I'll keep you on watch to make sure you make that desk!
Jeannette Singleton

I read a lot of science fiction, and many of those books turn out to be thrillers too. Sci-fi by its very nature is exciting. But the amount of really great sci-fi books written post-Asimov is pretty minuscule. So thank God for Ozoneraser. Not only does it hit all the right spots to tantalize sci-fi lovers, but it does what all great sci-fi does: delivers a message in the midst of the adventure. Ozoneraser might just change the world, and it certainly will refresh the genre which has become increasingly cookie-cutter as of late.

Beyond being just a good sci-fi tale, author Venkatarama S. Dandibhotla is an amazing storyteller. His characters pop to life off the page. They are not the wooden, one dimensional archetypes found in many fantasy tales. They act and even talk like real people faced with extraordinary circumstances.

I have no doubt that Ozoneraser will delight and enthrall the sci-fi crowd, and should probably win over quite a few converts to the genre as well. It deserves to be published, and I expect it will be the first of many stories we will be treated to by Dandibhotla. I look forward to reading them.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

My heart is still raceing reading this book. It was like I was watching a horrible film take place and I could do nothing to stop it. It thrilled me to the point that I missed three classes ha ha. I was so ingrossed in it that I even missed my bus home and had to walk....but it was so WORTH IT!

Ozoneraser is a book truly deserving its postion on the ED; I read it a few months ago and I am happy to return to Venkatarama's book again as it is extremely well-written with a gripping plot and ample hooks to keep the reader turning the pages.
Top stars from me and wishing you lots of luck.

Maria (Georgina's Family)

Okay...I'm going to have really bad dreams tonight. This basically scared the crap out of me. I think what makes it so frightening is that it wasn't over the top sci-fi...it was so real and human and then this terrible thing happens and everything spins out of control. Sort of like the movie "The blob" from the 1950s for the modern era. I don't even usually like sci-fi but this is more like a disaster film in book form. Very well written and believeable. I have not shelf space but will star and put on my WL.
All the best,
Sheri Emery / Crazy Quilt

Venkatarama, congratulations!!
Best,
Ron Graves

I don't write scifi, but I do read a lot of it. Your book is well written and has a good oace. Five stars and I am backing it fornow.

Superbly written, it is good to see that there are still some great science fiction writers out there.

Hmm, I think I'm going to buck against the trend here. This is an assured write, and you clearly have something to say, but the way he is saying it doesn't quite gel for me. I'm going to back this book because I think it will profit from the comments of the ED.

At rock bottom, I think it suffers from the problem of many ensemble disaster movies, that its characterisations are too fleeting and superficial for us to care all that deeply about their fate. You have made valiant efforts to rectify this with Sgt Malcolm and his family, but the style of the book almost militates against it. I wonder whether you might have been better served to start a little more slowly, with introductory vignettes for all of your upcoming characters immediately following the Prologue - the Sergeant being sent out to pick up supplies for the party, the newscrew scanning the wavebands (and it might have worked better if the newscrew from the prologue then turned out to be Calvin and his crew), the ambulance crew getting ready for work, Shannon and her mum preparing to go to school. The Prologue hooks us and drags us in, and I had then expected a slower build - in truth I expected the scene from the Prologue to be the final set piece of the book, not the first, but that's just by-the-by). That way, when the disaster begins to unfold we already know and have started to care about these characters. But then, whaddo I know?

A few more detailed points from the first 2 chapters:

Ch1
Para 2 should be in the pluperfect (ie. it needs ‘had’s – eg: Darryl Malcom had spent all his life etc. Until 2 weeks ago he’d lived outside the caves etc...
Similarly, ‘... and spent the rest of the drive dreaming about the souvenirs he’d brought back etc...’
Since you’re using al-Qaeda, I’m not sure you need the infodump in Section 2. We all know what happened on 9/11 and what followed. If this was a truly fictional terror group, I’d need this info, as it isn’t, I don’t.
CH2
‘This is a war hero here, and we need to save this hero...’ lacks the impact you want. Try something like: “That man’s a war hero, and we’re damn well gonna save him!” Also, cut out all extraneous info from this para and make the sentences punchier – you need to give it more urgency.
Don’t like the prologue being repeated in Ch.2. It doesn’t feel right. You’d do better to have Darryl notice a news copter and think some acerbic thought about vultures. We’d all recognise what it was.
Typo when Calvin disappears. I expect it should be ‘toppled his torso out the window...’

Hope you get to the ED. I think it will really help this book.
M?

I'm grateful of the privilege to read this work by Venkatarama S. Dandibholta. My good sir, you know exactly how to keep the reader captivated and mersmerised like a charmed snake. I couldn't believe the fun I had in reading this book.

I can't quite put into words the experience. But all I can say that you will get 6/6 stars and a backing from me.

Great story:). I like the free flow of language and Sci-Fi setting.

Highly starred.

I read the first chapter and am already hooked on this book! I can't wait to read more.. From the start it drew me in and I'm curious to see what happens!

I read a lot of science fiction, and many of those books turn out to be thrillers too. Sci-fi by its very nature is exciting. But the amount of really great sci-fi books written post-Asimov is pretty minuscule. So thank God for Ozoneraser. Not only does it hit all the right spots to tantalize sci-fi lovers, but it does what all great sci-fi does: delivers a message in the midst of the adventure. Ozoneraser might just change the world, and it certainly will refresh the genre which has become increasingly cookie-cutter as of late.

Beyond being just a good sci-fi tale, author Venkatarama S. Dandibhotla is an amazing storyteller. His characters pop to life off the page. They are not the wooden, one dimensional archetypes found in many fantasy tales. They act and even talk like real people faced with extraordinary circumstances.

I have no doubt that Ozoneraser will delight and enthrall the sci-fi crowd, and should probably win over quite a few converts to the genre as well. It deserves to be published, and I expect it will be the first of many stories we will be treated to by Dandibhotla. I look forward to reading them.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

This is awesome!!! :D

You are an excellent writer! You grabl the reader's attention and drag them along ebbing and flowing with the story. I was the same as everyone else, drawn in and reading with page turning excitement. God blessed you with the ability to tell such a dramatic story! It must've taken you a long time to write. Great job!
Elizabeth Kathleen
"If Children are Cheaper by the Dozen, Can I Get a Discount on Six?"

Hello Venkatarama,
Ozoneraser is thrilling and griping with such a force that it consistently keeps you on the edge. The story starts with a bang of a teaser and feel of a hero and then for while it keeps you expecting and waiting for something to happen. When ‘it’ happens, it completely consumes you. A well deserving book to reach ED, wish you all the very best and hope to see it on a book stand sometime soon.
Himani
She Was

Ozoneraser

Hi Venkatarama,

I've had a read through several chapters. Imaginative and intriguing, lots of eye-catching science fiction here, although not necessarily my cup of tea. My suggestions for developments are around forward-facing plot and back story, at the moment I think the early phases your story are slowed down by introductions of back story, one through the device of the celebratory news broadcast about Daryl's service record, second all of the stuff about how he met his wife and what she's like. Those blocks of exposition made the narrative drag, my suggestion would be you make a more careful assessment of where those bits of information might go and edit the hell out of them, give the reader as little as possible, enough to orientate them but not so much as they lose the momentum. A grand achievement though Venkatarama, best of luck with your writing endeavours :)

Best wishes

Andrew W

Hi Jeannette,
I thank you with my heart and soul, for the fantastic comment you posted:) Like you, a few other readers expressed the desire to connect with a main character/the protagonist/A hero. The protagonist in this story is the President of United states. And as you know, he cannot jump into story earlier unless the stage is set for his total involvement. He enters in ch.4 and slowly takes control of the story as we proceed from ch.5 through ch.7, by then all diplomatic efforts go fruitless, and Washington,white house including first lady become victims. He then takes things on to himself and act as the central character till the end of the story. Ch.14. Also as you see my chapters are very big. Ozoneraser is complete,edited several times (Thanks to the authonomy readers,like you, who made it possible) and ready with approximately 84000 words.

Thank you once again for your involved reading:)

venkatarama
Ozoneraser

Fascinating story! :-) Great writing. Love how you move through conversations. It seems to make your story live. It jumps into the plot with both feet, and doesnt let you off. :-) I loved the way you connected us so well to that first little family that disappeared, though, and wondered at their disappearance, who would be your hero, your protagonist- the one character or little group of characters that you would focus on. But after that, your story seemed to explode into action everywhere, and I kind of got lost as to who to focus on. I like to connect to people. I also kind of got bogged down in all the detail when the town goes crazy with everyone disappearing, till the helicopter disappears, then the plot seems to start moving again. I think in a movie, it would go faster (see Im already seeing this as a movie), it just seemed to kind of get bogged down there on a written page --for me. :-)
I love your sweet little children personalities. they add a lot of reality and light to what could be a very dark story. It makes it into the kind of book that will be widely read.
I have no edits. You really have a gift for words and putting action onto a page. :-)
As a reader, the only thing I would suggest, is to trim it down somehow. Write up an outline, of where your plot is going, and who your main characters are, focus on them, and trim the rest.
just something to think about. good luck! I'll keep you on watch to make sure you make that desk!
Jeannette Singleton

This is a fast-paced thriller that kept me on the edge of my seat. I particularly liked the technological advances discussed here. Many things going on and a lot to think about. Gave it a six star and will back!

Best,
Patty
The Greek Maiden and the English Lord

Fascinating story! :-) Great writing. Love how you move through conversations. It seems to make your story live. It jumps into the plot with both feet, and doesnt let you off. :-) I loved the way you connected us so well to that first little family that disappeared, though, and wondered at their disappearance, who would be your hero, your protagonist- the one character or little group of characters that you would focus on. But after that, your story seemed to explode into action everywhere, and I kind of got lost as to who to focus on. I like to connect to people. I also kind of got bogged down in all the detail when the town goes crazy with everyone disappearing, till the helicopter disappears, then the plot seems to start moving again. I think in a movie, it would go faster (see Im already seeing this as a movie), it just seemed to kind of get bogged down there on a written page --for me. :-)
I love your sweet little children personalities. they add a lot of reality and light to what could be a very dark story. It makes it into the kind of book that will be widely read.
I have no edits. You really have a gift for words and putting action onto a page. :-)
As a reader, the only thing I would suggest, is to trim it down somehow. Write up an outline, of where your plot is going, and who your main characters are, focus on them, and trim the rest.
just something to think about. good luck! I'll keep you on watch to make sure you make that desk!
Jeannette Singleton

Loved it - it's going on my bookshelf

Loved it - it's going on my bookshelf

Super gripping story with a very interesting plot.
Actually, I was confused a bit in the first chapter because facts and fictional political happenings on the 911-Afghan war issues are mixed. But then, the main story was so exciting, I had to continue reading. I was literally sucked into the story by the time I was in Chapter 2. I know now why this is ranking so high.

There is a high-lighted spot in Chap 3.

My suggestion would be to make the Afghan war veteran having a bit more complex feeling toward being back home. He could be an all-American, happy-to-be-finally-home father, but making him more complex would make the story more compelling, I think.

The other suggestion is to post more chapters. Some of us may want to read more!

R

Ozoneraser is a book truly deserving its postion on the ED; I read it a few months ago and I am happy to return to Venkatarama's book again as it is extremely well-written with a gripping plot and ample hooks to keep the reader turning the pages.
Top stars from me and wishing you lots of luck.

Maria (Georgina's Family)

Dear Venkatarama,
The idea of your book is very promising. You came up with a scenario that no one else tackled before. Catastrophes that the humanity suffers is a loved theme by many but how one presents it make a difference, and it seems to me that you made your own difference. The only minor criticism that I can offer is the use of the extensive dialogues. Perhaps some description in between will help of how the reader views the characters. Highly starred and backed. Good luck.
Maria
Midday Drawing

This reads at a quick pace, as it should. I like the time and place given when setting up a scene. Gives the domestic situation a military feel. I like the switch from military man talk to mammy and daughter sweet talk. It works great at breaking up the information.
We all know Tom Cruz will want to play Darryl. We also know, as much as you want to, you won't refuse.
Darryl has a long fight ahead, now it's personal!
High stars with my very best wishes, Olive.

Crikey, this reminded me of 24 with Jack Bauer in. It was fast paced the way you introduced each character and set the scenes. It felt like you were moving chess pieces into place before the 'big move' so to speak.

The writing was pretty clean, although i did notice a few missing commas etc, but i dont think that these are ever a massive issue to be honest.

I'm not into sci-fi if i'm honest, but I have read quite a bit, and form what i've read of your- you do it well. it's very uniqe - although when I first started readin it seemed quite cliche but then the entire first chapter was wrote like thta, and jumped from scene to scene. This could have failed miserably. But it didnt. For me as a reader, it worked.

High stars, well done, and good luck.

Kind regards

Claire C Riley
Limerence

My heart is still raceing reading this book. It was like I was watching a horrible film take place and I could do nothing to stop it. It thrilled me to the point that I missed three classes ha ha. I was so ingrossed in it that I even missed my bus home and had to walk....but it was so WORTH IT!

Okay, Jesu, this is a pretty exciting tale and I'm not that into sci-fi. My only negative is that there is a little too much information on the terror war in chapter one. Characterization is great and it is a thriller. Can't wait to finish but I'm happy to support your work. Catryntx/The missing ones

Ozoneraser is serious fun! Action packed with a great story to boot. It reminded me of Langoliers, but with a more modern feel. Loved it. High stars and backed!

Okay...I'm going to have really bad dreams tonight. This basically scared the crap out of me. I think what makes it so frightening is that it wasn't over the top sci-fi...it was so real and human and then this terrible thing happens and everything spins out of control. Sort of like the movie "The blob" from the 1950s for the modern era. I don't even usually like sci-fi but this is more like a disaster film in book form. Very well written and believeable. I have not shelf space but will star and put on my WL.
All the best,
Sheri Emery / Crazy Quilt

Venkatarama - an entertaining read - full of drama and mystery. Great effort! Backed. CW- Bad Night For Animals

I read the first chapter and was impressed by the way the story builds. First you're given a slice of life at home for a family in the future. The gentle comings and goings of household activities, conversations; and clever and imaginative glimpses of future home appliance technology. Then their world begins to to shatter - or in this case, disintegrate!

The writing is skillful and punchy and you feel completely confident that the futuristic technologies and events to come are plausible and well thought through. I sense a great futuristic-apocalyptic thriller unfolding!

High Stars and on my WL.
Goliath Stokes
WOOCHAN - The Thrill of Losing

Hi Venkatarama,
I've just read the first chapter and can say that it isn't so easy to stop. It hooks you starting from Prologue and the more you read, the deeper that hook goes into your flash. I like the dynamic development of events, the tension you've managed to create and maintain throughout the story, your vivid characters: Darryl, Brittany their kitty Kathy... The dialogues are very natural, all the story is smooth and polished.
High stars and my WL for now and hope to back later.
Valentine But
Escape

I watch sci-fi rather than read it. BSG anyone!! But, lacking the time at the moment to read it in its entirety, I decided to peruse it to get a feel for it. Not being a sci-fi reader, I was impressed and pleased at how easily the futuristic details were added. I didn't feel confused, lost, or overwhelmed. I went page to page telling myself that I would just skim it for now and read it more later, but I kept reading more anyway. The dialogue is well written and pulled me in. Creating good fiction is a beautiful gift in itself, so I doubly admire those creators of science fiction and fantasy that not only bring characters and their lives to life, but entire worlds!

Fantastic start. Intelligent, exciting and very tense. I can't say much more as it's ranking speaks for itself. I have backed and starred and hope it stays in the top 5 and makes it to the Ed's desk.
Good luck.
Graham Lench
The Eighth Day

Read the prologue and first chapter and loved it. Tense, exciting and intriguing. I love this sort of doomsday sci fi scenario, plus it is very intelligently written. This would make a great movie as I have never read anything like this.
I have starred and placed on my bookshelf and hope it stays where its ranked to make it to the Editors desk.
Any feedback on mine would be greatly appreciated.
Good luck with this
Graham Lench
The Eighth day

I only have had time to read the first chapter this morning, but I can honestly say you have me hooked. Not only are you able to show a strong grasp of technology and politics from the start, but you also craft a world that I can immediately see in my mind. Your characterizations are sharp and you show a family that has heart.

That's a very strong first chapter, in my opinion. I'm tossing you on my bookshelf to aid in your goal to be on the ED by the end of the month. Good luck!

I have read the first chapter of this and really enjoyed what I have read. Loads of drama and action that pulled me straight in.
I like the way you break the events by times of day or night - it works really well.
The story builds really well with a good pace. I liked Brittany's backstory and the scene with her and her daughter pretending to be a cat. It makes the scene when they start to disappear all the more shocking.
Great last line about Darryl seeing his wife's wedding ring 'an empty circle oddly misplaced from his wife's finger.'
This has a highly-polished feel to it and I can imagine it making a great opening to a film.

Highly starred and well-deserving of getting to the desk.
Debbie

I haven't read a ton of sci-fi thrillers, but this was recommended to me recently, and I'm quite glad I gave it a try. There's a great mix of the real and the futuristic, along with a high level of detail. The story's quite engaging, as well, and feels very timely to me. I thought it was very well-written, and my only changes would be really minor (like I might change a line to: “set up for (a) news exclusive.” and I might have cut a word here or there, such as “about” from “in about their 20s”).
Excellent work, and high stars.

Mike
Arrival of the Ageless
What, the Elf?

Hi Venkatarama; I have read your first two chapters.

There is a lot to digest here and I read over two days to try and take it all in. At first I thought this cybertech, sculpted around a particular family. Then a military piece seemed more appropriate. Finally, after reading the President's very powerful speech, I thought thriller. The head and tail of this is that you have melded a number of genres together in a very well crafted sci-fi novel.

This has all the ingredients to firstly snare then blow the mind of the reader. There is so much going on that you can quickly become engulfed by it. This is far from easy to do but you manage it with apparent ease.

My only thought was if it was possible to incorporate the Presidential piece into the pitch for really dramatic effect, (just a thought for you.)

Good luck at the desk and highly starred
RMA
The Snow Lily

Hi Venkatarama,
As you know, I read all you've posted on the site so far, but just checked in to leave you a recent comment. If I were you, I would upload --at least-- 4 more chapters of Ozoneraser, before I reach the desk. You didn't ask, but still, take my advice on that.
Best wishes,
Lucette- Ten Deep Footprints

Enchanting... Quite kindred to THE EVOLUTION OF ETERNITY. If this book were out there, I'd definitely like to pick it up. Pity not much time to read online presently.

So comforting to know that I am back in my own military genre......This is so well written that it had me right in the middle of the story from the word go. You tell your story so well with timely descriptions and you keep me as an ex military man liking the book so much. Outstanding book. Publish Publis Publish please.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R.) Please consider me for a read or Watch List wont you? Happy New Year. Sean

Gems
Prologue - The reporter getting the girl's name wrong. [I could imagine this happening.]

"Oh... my... god...He just disappeared! ..... Something crazy is happening." [ A great ending to the prologue.-----
-----------------------
Chapter one I like the way you have split the day up and said what happens at different times.------
---------------------------------
3.45 PM There is a sense of euphoria for Valentine's day and the MC is introduced. He is very likable, and the reader can think ' poor man, he thinks life could not be better - but what a terrible shock he is to get.'

Chapter one paints a vivid picture of family life. The tv report about the final end to the conflict with al-Jihad is superb. The scene where Kathy is playing up about bedtime, is a familiar one to parents. The 'ordinaryness' contrasts strongly with hers and her mother's disappearance.
-----------------
Chapter Two - The atmosphere has changed completely as the search starts. The 'diary' approach continues to work well, and helps break down the chapters. I think anything else I could say has already been said, but I could see your book being a best seller in the Sci-Fl section. Well done!

Hi Gillian, Thank you so much for your constructive suggestions. I will implement some of them in next edit.
As for dreadful/ direful I think direful is most appropriate as it means dread due to a magnanimous cause( like a living in a haunted building is dreadful. The news about the outbreak of a pandemic are direful.).
here is the definition:
direful - definition of direful by the Free Online Dictionary, Thesaurus ...
www.thefreedictionary.com/direful
Adj. 1. direful - causing fear or dread or terror; "the awful war"; "an awful risk"; "dire news"; "a career or vengeance so direful that London was shocked"; "the ...
The long pitch, I go with you. It should be shortened. Once again thank you for your interest on Ozoneraser
venkatarama
Your pitch looks good, but I think it could be shorter. I could not find ' direful' in the Collins Scrabble Dictionary, which does not just have British English. It is a word that might be used informally in speech. While one of your characters might say it, I think it spoils an otherwise serious and dignified pitch. I would replace 'direful' with 'dire' or 'dreadful.'

The next bit I have bracketed does not need to be said. To me it is obvious that the only man who can save the world must be the most powerful leader.


. The results are { direful!!} With the perpetrators buoyed by the success of their trial-run, the hopes of survival lie with one man,{ arguably the most powerful leader in the world.} The journey of the relentless effort to save humanity, the decisions and sacrifices made by the President of the United States in the endeavor is what ‘Ozoneraser’ is all about.
---------------

In the sentence below, you need to say something like: any resemblance { to actual persons and incidents} is purely coincidental. For a better idea of how to say it, look at the disclaimer in a published book.


Everything that is part of Ozoneraser is fictitious and any resemblance is purely coincidental.

Your pitch looks good, but I think it could be shorter. I could not find ' direful' in the Collins Scrabble Dictionary, which does not just have British English. It is a word that might be used informally in speech. While one of your characters might say it, I think it spoils an otherwise serious and dignified pitch. I would replace 'direful' with 'dire' or 'dreadful.'

The next bit I have bracketed does not need to be said. To me it is obvious that the only man who can save the world must be the most powerful leader.


. The results are { direful!!} With the perpetrators buoyed by the success of their trial-run, the hopes of survival lie with one man,{ arguably the most powerful leader in the world.} The journey of the relentless effort to save humanity, the decisions and sacrifices made by the President of the United States in the endeavor is what ‘Ozoneraser’ is all about.
---------------

In the sentence below, you need to say something like: any resemblance { to actual persons and incidents} is purely coincidental. For a better idea of how to say it, look at the disclaimer in a published book.


Everything that is part of Ozoneraser is fictitious and any resemblance is purely coincidental.

Great read. On the shelf.

OK, I read chapter 1. Great start. The only thing I wondered about was what was the date of the prologue? Are we supposed to not know? I assume it's in the future sometime, is that right? maybe you don't want us to know how far ahead, but I would have like some indication, esp. since there is date and time to the rest of the sections. Maybe you could title the prologue "some time in the not too distant futrue". At least then the reader would know this is a flash forward.

I found Darryl and Brittney both to be believable, and likable characters. The story at the end was quite riveting, and by the time I got to the last few moments where the daughter and wife were disappearing, I was hooked. I only suggest that maybe you get to that point sooner. I did start to maybe skip read a bit until I got to "the good stuff", as it were. And the good stuff was really, really good! =D

Now, I admit, this isn't really my genre of choice for reading, so maybe take part of what I say with a grain of salt. Maybe men, and those who read this genre would find the military stuff and high tech stuff more interesting than me! (thought I can't wait for a self driving car!!) ;-)

Honestly, the writing is outstanding, and even for me, toward the end of this chapter I was 100% engaged. I see this is got a high approval rating already. So, I think it deserves to make the ED desk for the sake of this genre's fans! so, I'll give it 6 stars and put it on my book shelf!

Way to go!
Carrie
Letting Go

Ozoneraser

I’ve been supporting this book (on and off) for quite a while. What more can I say? It’s a good read and the grammar is good. The Prologue is an excellent start to the book!

Highly starred and good luck when you reach the editors.

Charles Knightley
The Secret of Netley Abbey

EXCITING PREMISE EXECUTED IN THE SAME STYLE AS MANY LOW BUDGET THRILLERS, OZONERASER READS MORE LIKE A SCREENPLAY AND LESS LIKE A NOVEL. BUT THAT’S FINE. ALTHOUGH THE NARRATIVE LACKS DESCRIPTION, THE DIALOGUE IS OFTEN LAME AND THE RESEARCH MAY NOT BE ABOVE CIRCUMSPECTION, THE AUTHOR DOES HAVE A KNACK FOR SUSPENSE AND EASY THRILLS; A FACT THAT’LL MAKE THIS WORK POPULAR WITH MANY. APPARENTLY THE WRITING BEARS THE TOUCH OF SOMEONE OTHER THAN THE MEMBER/AUTHOR WHO’S NAME APPEARS IN THE CREDITS, SOMEONE WHO IS SLIGHTLY MORE PROFICIENT IN THE LANGUAGE. ADDING TO THE APPEAL ARE THE DRAMA AND THE ENTIRE HISTORY THAT LIE BEHIND THIS BOOK AND ITS AUTHOR; TOO MANY QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN RAISED, FOR EXAMPLE – WHY DOES IT CONTINUE TO SLIP OFF THE EDITOR’S DESK IN SPITE OF HAVING A WHOPPING 333 BACKERS, MORE THAN ANY OTHER BOOK IN THE SHORT SWEET HISTORY OF AUTHONOMY? WHY DOES ONE GET THE UNMISTAKABLE FEELING THAT THE POOR AUTHOR IS BEING PENALISED TIME AND TIME AGAIN FOR BRINGING WITH HIM AN ENTIRE SUBCONTINENT OF MEAT PUPPETS WHEN AUTHONOMY CLEARLY ENCOURAGES THAT PRACTICE BY ASKING MEMBERS TO CALL IN THE SUPPORT OF FRIENDS AND RELATIVES? WHY CAN’T THE SITE AND ITS MEMBERS BE MORE CHARITABLE AND HELP THIS BOOK REACH ITS GOAL?

I’M DOING MY PART, BACKED. GOOD LUCK TO YOU, VENKAT.
HOPE THE NEW YEAR BRINGS AN END TO YOUR STRUGGLES.

Hi Venkatarama,

This is an interesting storyline and a thoughtful take on the near-future. The central concept is very clever.

I liked the build up of suspense towards the end of chapter one which culminates in a strong hook.

As another reviewer has noted, it feels a bit 'thin' at the moment in terms of scene-setting and description, and I think the references to your vision of the near-future need to be blended better within the narrative. At the moment, the story, as good as it is, seems a bit one-dimensional. Until near the end of chapter one, we have fairly low-key dialogue sections mixed with straight-forward descriptions of new technology. And creating those multi-dimensional layers is a must for this genre.

You have a very strong premise here and loads of potential - good luck with your ED.

Best wishes,

Terry

Like I said in my message, Venkatarama, your opening Prologue with a news report gives a succinct and powerful description of events and some back-story. I always enjoy a book that opens with something unexplainable, something that makes the reader do a double-take.

CH1 provides a slower pace to establish the characters and scenes that suggest a future not too far away from present day. Hologrilling, holomenus and miniholovids make up more of the exciting tackle in this book and the dialogue tells us all we need to know without becoming info-dump. The calendaring of events makes this book easy to follow and the visual of Darryl dancing about in his armor when all around him had vanished made this a creepy ending to CH2.

The dispatch relay is well delivered even as they too get caught up in the action as frightening things begin to unfold. It’s hard to put this book down as Calvin is disappearing and Cynthia attempts to land the helicopter. Everything is disintegrating and we meet others trying to escape the same terror. We are given a brief period of time to resonate with new characters before they disappear due to the fast-paced nature of this book although I would prefer to see a weave of central characters so we can follow them through the chaos.

It’s a vivid read with a ton of well researched data cleverly knitted through the story. I give it high stars and imagine Harper Collins will likely request the rest of this manuscript once it reaches the Ed’s desk.

Claire – The Snare of the Fowler.

Hi Mr. Dandibhotla,
Enjoyed reading some of your work. Rated it high stars so far. Seems to me that you have a fertile mind with good believable near-future technology. It seems well edited, although it may be a bit heavy on the dialogue side without enough scene-setting and so on. I also was not sure why the prologue was reintroduced later in Chapter One. Perhaps a typo.
Some other random thoughts: For me, I like the traumatic opening that you've written in the prologue, but I wonder if it too much, too soon. I mean, could we use these earlier chapters to lead up to this and the even bigger crisis of millions dying? You'll need 100 chapters or so for a complete thriller/sci-fi book, or about 100,000 words. Just a thought. I feel you have an excellent grasp of characterization and very good dialogue. If you haven't done this yet, try reading out loud to yourself. You'll find that that trick really helps in particular with dialogue.
Best and greater continued success,
Ron Graves

Here you go backed again to support. Good luck!