End Time Gentlemen

A great multi-strand disaster story complete with incompetent, reluctant hero and inevitable destruction.
Great read, very funny and very well written.

Hi Dave,

This is a brilliant work - thoroughly well crafted, with convincing characters, dialogue and wit. This is seething with interest and it kept me reading beyond where I intended to stop. Well done. Normally I like to make a few points, but I genuinely come up short with this.

High stars indeed,

Joseph Sale

-Wolf Rising

Deliciously cynical and carved with a razor sharp wit.
Love it.

This has made my night. :)

I laughed out loud reading the last four words of the first chapter. Well done!

So clever! I love MAB and although I hoped for something to save the Earth, the end was the justice the Earth had hoped for. Great read!

Being a fan of Terry Pratchett, Douglas Adams, Neil Gaiman, and Monty Python, naturally I am now a fan of David Loftus. Absolutely fell on the floor laughing.

This had me from the first line. Wonderful work.

Hi Dave,

This is a brilliant work - thoroughly well crafted, with convincing characters, dialogue and wit. This is seething with interest and it kept me reading beyond where I intended to stop. Well done. Normally I like to make a few points, but I genuinely come up short with this.

High stars indeed,

Joseph Sale

-Wolf Rising

This is great! The descriptions are first class and the people are drawn with humour and cynicism, which makes this so much better than the usual books of this genre. This is clever and witty and I liked it very much.
High stars.
Andrea
The de Amerley Affair

Dave

Just read the first couple of chapters, and you've got me. I love the scene in the observatory; Olburn is such a monumental arse, and I appreciate the mother's roar of disgruntlement. I'll be adding this to my bookshelf and reading more.

Marnie

Back for a few more chapters after my initial stumble-upon a couple of days ago. All I can say is this is really too good for this place. It's brilliant. I have only read the first five chapters but unless the wheels come off later you have achieved something remarkable.

Today is my first actual day on authonomy (I signed up in November but was dormant til yesterday). I am not otherwise a forum participater. A few souls reached out immediately, which was kind, and (I am guessing) a particular strategy. I looked at what I was asked to view and thought, hmm. Maybe this is not the place for me. (I may have transgressed a local code by saying that, but it's true). The point is, however, that I just read your first chapter - largely because you have the word "Gentleman" in your title - and I will add this to my bookshelf (if I understand, that's the best thing you can do for people here?). This is really very good work and I hold things to a high standard. I am relieved to have found you.

Funny and provoking. You know how to keep the reader right where you want them. This is such a brilliant read and you have achieved something that a lot of established authors fail to do. I congratulate you on a fantastic read. You must push and push this book all the way to the top.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or a watch list. Happy New Year.

Read the first chapter but my brain refuses to take much in, curse of being a Mum of 2, completely exhausted and hard to concentrate, but on my watchlist, I will be back when the kids are sleeping!!

I'm not a huge reader but . Must say after reading the first chapters I'm totally loving a completely refreshing, gorgeously descriptive original story. Congratulations are in order for delivering such a humorous thought provoking read ! I will defiantly read more and continue to leave comments. Best of luck !!!!

A great multi-strand disaster story complete with incompetent, reluctant hero and inevitable destruction.
Great read, very funny and very well written.

Oh I love this and will definitely be backing it, and reading the rest! This made me laugh out loud. It's a tad whacky, which I love - a bit like a sci fi Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! I love that the opening chapters are from different characters' points of view, and find it amusing, intriguing and very well written. Can't wait to read more.

Really enjoying this so far, very funny and well written. Will most certainly be reading more- it's nice to see some comedy on this site for a change. Highly rated.

This is great fun disaster book.

The hapless Phil, the common man with more interest in a cookery show than the potential end of the earth and the astronomer who, for all intent and purposes, snatches the asteroid’s discovery from a small child.
This plays with subtlety and interweaves stories from various protagonists, flicking from one to another and always moving the story along.

I warn any ready not to scan read but to actually absorb it. There’s some great observation here and is delivered expertly. Dialog first rate and well delivered prose.

Great line, ‘Life is a faulty product that needed recalling’. I loved the argument about the guy who actually discovered the asteroid too, great character stuff. So too the guy who thought shooting his rifle into the sky might bring the asteroid down.

Many thanks for posting this I genuinely hope it gets into print.

Tornbridge
The Washington Adventure

Well done, a good read.

The dialogue in this is very good. I love the roundabout with the mother and the Hoax. It is quite telling, enjoyable and flows well. I must admit, the first chapter confused me and I still don't know the reason for it or what it means. I almost stopped reading. But Chapter Two was really good. I didn't quite know for sure if the second siting was indeed a hoax or not. Maybe you could make that clearer. You write well.

Good job.

Abby

Ah! Yes, the humour was intentional. I now see comedy listed in the genre section. Lovely book.

Hi,

I have just come across your book on the site and I really like it. You are at this stage probably fed up reading all the comments. 417 well 418 after this one. I will keep it short. Your descriptive writing is a joy to read......the tips of the ferns twitched in the breeze....not just the ferns but the tips of the ferns.....lovely description.
Like a ladybird hitting a juggernaut.....again lovely description. Why can't I think of these things in my writing?
For me there is a tinge of humour interspersed throughout the chapters. I'm not sure if that is intentional on your part but I'm picking up on it. For example, Olburn had a captive audience as he explains all about astronomy and then as he finishes up, as if taking it all down a notch, he casually reminds the people about the gift shop on the ground floor.

Highly starred.

If by chance you get to read some of the chapters of my book I would be honoured.
"The bed next to mine"

Love the humor in the book. It has my interest and I will be reading more. Supporting my wife, Faith Rose and her book. "Now to Him."

I have started reading your book. Backing and rating very high for now. I will try to comment more when done with the reading.

Dave, I found you on the Forum as KOLRO with the silly lovely thread "Stupid ideas for films." I fall for those threads - opportunity to be playful and silly and creative, just for the fun of it.
And so I am happy to visit your book and finding the same imprint on this book that i find in your posts on the thread: intelligence,intelligence, precise and witty descriptions, and a voice i trust immediately - after the first sentence! - that you are an artist and not only a writer. It flows through you, you are not boringly serious and over-telling/describing. there is a rhythm and a flow that i love.
And you make it come so alive that i see crystal clear details, like in a movie.
I thought about Evelyn Waugh when i read.:-)
Leelah Saachi

END TIME
This is a clever story: a scientist who is hard to believe has just reported a massive asteroid (or fasteroid) is about to strike the earth. Olburn is an interesting character in the way he steals the fanfare away from the small boy who actually discovered the asteroid. The place where it will hit – Turkmenistan – is an interesting setting: a country no one cares much about except for the people who live there and will be crushed. It takes a while to discover what Phil’s role in the story will be, but that’s good. Kept me reading, wondering why he was introduced first. Aside from good characters, your subtle sense of humor is a big plus for this story. I’m starring this highly and adding it to my shelf. Mark/Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Yummy!
This is one of the few books on this site that I've seen that NEEDS to be published! Please take a look at mine. I'd be friggin tickled purple if you had any suggestions.
Allison
Heavenly Rejects
PS: you must read Christopher Moore.

Olburn is horrible and funny and I want to keep reading.

You are one razor sharp silver tongued devil! I particularly liked "a gritty kebab turning slowly on its spit."
Best of luck with this!
Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

Ha, ha Phil Pratt. (Brat Pitt) very short chapter.

Douglas Adams meets terry Pratchett. Brilliant. This'll be backed once I get off an iPad and onto a real computer.

I live the sarky computer, sort of like Hal after a night on tequila. Loved the terminator anne Asimov refs. All good. Gets going, has enough happening so you keep interested.

Please send me a PDF of the whole thing... I need some holiday reading.... Thanks.

Book Cover Critique

To begin, I honestly love the cover. The amusing mushroom cloud for a head and the posture of what looks like a Charlie Chaplin body is incredibly creative. I could not come up with anything better to relate your book to your cover. The design is eye catching; red being one of the best colors to capture the eyes' attention. Very well done!

Now for a few nit-picky things I see that could make or break your cover. As the image is small please bear with me as I may point out things that may not be there. I see what looks like a faint white outline around your figure. This looks like a bad photoshop if I am seeing it correctly. Defining those lines and getting rid of that white outline should make the cover look more appealing.

I like the style of the title but I find that the colors and the font could be played around more. I enjoy how it resembles a college of letters cut from a magazine (kinda gives me that end of the world feel). Keep it simple like you have it. I just suggest you turn the white letters into more of a yellow like your mushroom cloud head. Color, color, color...it may sound stupid but to keep the same palette of colors consistent throughout is something a professional will ensure he or she does when designing. The author name is good, keep it small and discreet for now.

All in all, great cover, very funny, gives me that underlying feeling of doom and well done. Hope this critique helps.

Brilliant, Love it.

Deliciously cynical and carved with a razor sharp wit.
Love it.

LMAO. This is awesome. I have nothing more constructive to say.

This is great. Backed it.

like it much, star it well, nothing funnier than the end of the world, nothing funnier than people whose ego needs would lead to mankind's ruin being helped by the nitwits who are most the population, nothing funnier than realizing it might be pretty close to the truth and you are a member of team idiot, in the tradition of black humor i think, i read about six chapters, wanted a little more of a straight story line and less biography, but the sketches were always interesting, and will add up to something crazy wonderful i am sure, best wishes

Remarkable prose. Five stars. I can see it in hardcover...back jacket covered in praise.

I absolutely love this book! The opening chapter is brilliant and sets the scene perfectly. The dialogue is cracking and I think you have the rare skill of creating the kind of dry, awkward humour I always love in books by Adams and Pratchett.

Definitely backing this!

Phil

Hi Dave

Will definitively have a nose through this as I have a few spaces on my book shelf and WL. Would you be so kind as to have a quick look at my book - The List. Feel free to leave a comment.
ta very much.

David J Baron

I have read a couple of chapters of this, and perhaps the easiest thing would be to tell you what I like about it.

I enjoy your clever, colourful use of language, which slowed me down.
I like the fact that I was rewarded for slowing down, with a wry, clever story littered with humour and beautifully observed.
I love the pacing.
I enjoyed the realisation your writing is intelligent. You do not patronise your readers by using only words of one or two syllables.

I enjoy this book, so what is happening with it? A sixer from me.

All the best

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped"

Some truly amazing writing, my only slight niggle being there might be too much of it. Maybe a drastic prune would make it more marketable - which is, after all, the goal. I'd love to see it in print, though. On my watchlist, as I don't back unless I have seen the end. I've been disappointed by limp endings before

I'm not even going to mention that comic, literarily valid prose is overwhelmingly overrepresented by UK dudes on this site--since I mention it every single time I start looking through these books, looking for something readable.

It's weird. Although people sometimes glance at your book if it's on Authonomy--if it's published, it might as well be instantly, utterly dead, for most writers (an Authonomy profile vs. an Amazon profile, with no bookstores anymore--at least Authonomy has social networking fueled by a patina of self-interest--you have more hope here than in a bookstore, and I'm still pretty sure no living human has fully read the 15,000 words I uploaded--forget "professionals.)

Most UK agents probably stop reading at "bladder the size of the Hindenburg"--I expect. There's not many "ehh" lines but that's one of them--you might be in love with sentences you've excessively re-read. But I think UK agents just avoid comically-talented males--judging by the evidence of unpublished novels on this site, because they're wildly overrepresented, in the "publishable" unpublished category.

Verveful and reminiscent of great comic writers, though. I know very vaguely of that Turkmenistan character, and he was hilariously Stalinist. Didn't he re-name the days of the week after himself? I like this, anyway, I read like 6 chapters, definitely goes into the "for all I know it's a goddamn masterpiece" file.

So my first reaction was to your Short Pitch. “Every mushroom cloud has a silver lining.” I was laughing out loud on that one. I quickly scanned over and saw that you have this marked as Comedy. Good. I’m excited to start reading!

BUT, before I begin...take any grammar comments(if any) with a grain of salt. I’m new to novel writing, so take what you will from the following.

Chapter 1-

I always scan the first chapter before diving in. It’s not too long. Good. I’m going to be reading two chapters then. Love that first line. Life is kinda selfish, huh? I’m thinking...oh no there are 53 chapters posted...I’m going to be hooked into reading them all! Nothing major to say here. Nice hook at the end. You are giving us some great characterization when you go into his thought process, etc. Usually I’m not a fan of no dialogue, but you make this work. On to Chapter 2.


Chapter 2-

Favorite line: “Just name the asteroid after my fucking kid,” I can just see this woman red in the face yelling at the doctor. I would have liked to read the kid’s reaction to this. So I wouldn’t say this is my usual read. I write for children and I enjoy Fantasy and Historical Fiction. But, I found this fast paced and that it had superb characterizations. Plus, you didn’t overuse exclamation marks. 6 stars from me and I’m making room on my WL for this.

Best,

Ashley

So cool, so hilarious - had to stay up past midnight to find out how the world went down, and the fall was EPIC.

This should be on bookshelves and in bomb shelters everywhere . . . somebody print it, quick!

Just read the first two chapters, and when I have time I'll read a few more.

Initial impressions - I love the opening, fantastic. The dialogue between the mother, son and Olburn in Ch2 seemed a little forced to me. I think this could be cut down a bit.

I'm not sure if this is what you were going for, but I love the whole silliness of academia thing - the fact that he was reinstated after the hoax, etc. Very funny!

Can't fault this ... ingenious and very readable ...

Starred and on my shelf in the next round.

Hey Dave,
I took a look at End Time Gentlemen and I have to say that you are one funny guy/scary statue thingy.
In places you reminded me of me! You had a few one liners there that made me laugh out loud and that doesn't happen very often unless I'm reading something I wrote :p
Obviously I didn't read all 53 chapters (53?!!) I'll leave that to the HC reviewer, but I'm sure that once he/she does he/she will see that this is a great story. :)
Good luck and I hope it makes the ED soon.
Rated with 6 stars.

Christina
Take a Sick Break

Got to hand it to you, Dave, this is extremely well done. I've read up to C4 - tired eyes (yours was the fourth book tonight) I will be back though. I'm enjoying this.

Mick

I just read the first two chapters. It is absolutely brilliant. I am a fan. I like your style of writing and I hate reading from the computer screen but I think I'll have to make an exception in this case. It would be a crime if you're not published. Sadly I have very little constructive to say yet, but I'll read on, you're bound to have at least one typo somewhere....

Best wishes
Mel B

I am thinking of the boy who cried wolf as I finish Ch2. Olborn the alien faker is about to discover this Asteroid thingy? There seems to be a couple of styles here. Straight out comedy mixed with some wordy science. Aurulent is not even in my dictionary. I have not read Hitchhikers but I have seen the series and the film and there are shades here. The Pratt character could be a Dent, (personally I think the name Pratt is now a cliche and I winced when I saw it but it does save on wordy description I suppose.) I am interested where you are going to take Olborn, because he could be end up completely comic, possibly more bumbling than bad, perhaps just opportunist, or even an evil schemer. I have not quite settled on who he is.
It was a smooth read, didn't pick any typos or jarring stuff. For me, (as a single unpublished voice so disregard or regard as you see fi)t, the mother/son telescope scene could trimmed or alternatively the mother and son be given a couple more layers of characterisation. I may well be the moron you need to ignore.
Great start and I'll be continuing onto chapter 3.
Norton