Book Jacket

 

rank 3692
word count 10389
date submitted 13.06.2011
date updated 14.06.2011
genres: Fiction, Young Adult, Popular Scien...
classification: universal
incomplete

Darwin's Thesis

Rosie Westbourne

After his oceanographic parents are suspiciously killed by the sea, a boy is forced to help his evil Uncle perform research towards world oceanic domination.

 

Darwin is a boy in a precarious position; he sleeps most nights suspended in a hammock on the bottom floor of his parents' laboratory, where an underground wave pool laps beneath him. On a visit to a research site known as Miss May Point, Darwin's parents are killed by a wave as his Uncle Victor stands aside. With their death, something comes alive in Darwin: not a spirit or a wind in his sails, but something less appealing, akin to an intestinal parasite or a toenail fungus. The ocean which Darwin has loved becomes that which he fears most. In close second is his Uncle - where Darwin's days used to contain the joy of observing, annotating, and meditating on the ocean, they now contain fear and vast amounts of technical research and tea-making. Darwin's Uncle is ambitious with the ocean; his goals seem suspiciously similar to "engineering the sea for world domination", a task for which one requires a sizeable amount of information on tides, currents, salinity, etc. Yet the sea does not permit him to obtain the data he needs, leaving Darwin at the brink of a thesis he'd rather leave behind...

 
rate the book

to rate this book please Register or Login

 

tags

evil villains, ocean, science, youthful innocence

on 2 watchlists

5 comments

 

To leave comments on this or any book please Register or Login

subscribe to comments for this book
Kenneth Edward Lim wrote 709 days ago

Rosie,
Your narrative style is powerful, conjuring up imagery dark and brooding setting the tone of the story. Darwin fits right in, his POV introspective, watchful, taking us in measured steps towards what feels like his inevitable destiny. You keep the dialogue sparse, only when needed, allowing the heavy ambiance of the telling to predominate. "Darwin's Thesis" is a compelling read, callling for a deep couch in a quiet setting with no distractions. Thank you so much.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

stephen racket wrote 710 days ago

I read the first couple of chapters and thought this was original and imaginative. The characters are well-drawn and interesting, particularly Uncle Victor, and the writing full of inventive touches. Giving the ocean a personality is a terrific idea. I found the switch from third to first person a little distracting, and some of the sentences were too long for my taste. This has good potential and deserves to do well as it is something a bit different, with no sign of any vampires or werewolves! On my WL for further reading and well-starred. Good luck with this.

Brian Bandell wrote 710 days ago

Chapter one has good characterization and a cliffhanger ending – almost literally. That got me interested in the story.

The paragraph that begins “Most of us feel many things from time to time…” seems out of place. You can remove it and not miss anything. In the next paragraph, remove “I will try.” It’s generally not a good idea to talk directly to the reader in the first person, unless the story is a letter or some guy at a bar telling a story to an audience. So remove the “you might think” stuff in chapter two. I can't name many novels that do this.

I like the way you handled chapter two’s opening with the description of the house and how his life has changed.

You shouldn’t capitalize “uncle” unless it’s part of a proper name like “Uncle Victor.” That said, I find that the interaction between Darwin and Victor is captivating and mysterious.

This is strong writing and I'm happy to back it. It will be interesting to see what genre you pitch this in. It has a teenager as the main character,but it's not written in a young adult style. An audience that enjoys science would like this, but it's not science fiction. I know! It's an environmental thriller. Yes, that's a real genre.

Good luck,

Brian Bandell
Mute

juxtapositron wrote 711 days ago

Thank you so much for your feedback, Susan - new to this so it helps a ton. I am trying to tell this story as if I am an omniscient narrator who is guiding the reader through the tale, sort of as a color commentator, if you will. For this reason, you see the occasional use of first person. Looking back, I do detect some sentences that seem to never end... yikes!

susanbrauner wrote 711 days ago

Hi Rosie, I read two chapters, I liked the first chapter better although I was thrown when you went from third person to first person perspective. Who is telling the story? There was first person paragraph in the second chapter too. You described fear so well, I felt it as I was reading Darwin's fear of the large wave. I think your story is pretty good, but it needs some more editing. There are some very long sentences which need to be chopped up and more conversation would be good. When you do conversation, be sure to make it its own paragraph. Good luck to you.

Susan
The Adventures of Sohi: Mystery of Moon Island

1