Book Jacket

 

rank 466
word count 76174
date submitted 16.06.2011
date updated 21.06.2011
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Comedy
classification: moderate
complete

Beast versus Beast

Peter Spadoni

A down-on-his-luck television writer creates a hit reality show where animals fight each other, but finds the success dangerously bittersweet.

 

When a washed-up screenwriter’s latest reality show turns out to be a dud, his employer hands him a difficult ultimatum: come up with a new program that will smash ratings, or be out on the street. Tony Perri writes for one of the future’s biggest Hollywood studios. Faced with the impossible task of creating a new show that will catapult the soon-to-be bankrupt network back onto center stage, Perri devises the idea of a show where ferocious animals from world over will fight one another. Lion versus bear. Crocodile versus shark. Nothing, it seems, is off limits. So off to Cambodia where infamy awaits in what is the next biggest hit on TV: Beast versus Beast. While animal rights groups protest in disgust, the network and its inner circle grows more powerful, and the ratings climb. But as the profits soar and the moral standards decline, Perri soon finds that insanity has a price.

 
rate the book

to rate this book please Register or Login

 

tags

reality television, satire, spoof, thriller

on 42 watchlists

48 comments

 

To leave comments on this or any book please Register or Login

subscribe to comments for this book
Maximus Prime wrote 682 days ago

Hilarious! What a great read!

hk2011 wrote 684 days ago

A fantastic read - original, funny, satirical...recommended!

Iva P. wrote 699 days ago

Good premise and not so far in time from the current reality shows and the growing demise of good taste. I read six chapters so far and found them well-written, Will come back for more. I'll definiely put this on my shelf during the next clean up.

Iva Polansky
Fame and Infamy

ClaireLyman wrote 700 days ago

I lile the premise of this very much. I also like the satirical edge - and the best satire pushes things just a tiny bit past reality to show how ridiculous reality is. I think the Filipino pirate - complete with kickbacks from the Filipino government in response to ads - is a great example of this. There are also some great touches - the show bizishness of being told your job is secure, only to be told five minutes later that you're fired or you're a worthless, talentless slimeball, no offense intended

Couple of nits: I think someone has said this before, but I would be put right off by the 'dickhead' comment at the beginning. It might be that you're wanting to establish voice and characterisation, but you're in danger of losing some readers who otherwise might love the book. I do like the way you start, it reminds me of Then We Came to The End, but I might phrase it differently - 'It was far from the best of times.' something like that - ppl will most likely get the reference even if you change the phrasing a bit - and I woulddo away with 'to paraphrase' altogether. Let the reader feel they are being clever and working it out all by themesleves.

Tiny details - if this guy is only pushing 50, would he really have a wrinkled old face? Or maybe that's the perspective of the narrator?
I also think that 'you know better than I do' might be more natural in dialogue, even if 'you know better than I' is more pleasing to a limguist's eye. I'm also not a fan of semi colons in dialogue - they just seem to add a layer of unnatural formality. (I'm a big fan of them elsewhere, though!)

Those are small quibbles, though. This feels like Studio 60 meets Then We Came To The End - a tv show and a book, both of which I hugely enjoyed. I'd like to see what HC make of it, and hope it continues to do well on this site.

thrutheblackhole wrote 703 days ago

A good main character voice. I think the first chapter was very good, but chapter two lost me. It throws a lot of history all at once when I'm looking for what happened next.
Like the dialogue, it keeps things going and tells about the characters.

spender wrote 704 days ago

Boy, Peter, am I glad I turned down that offer to work in Hollywood!! Great book (what I've read so far) and very happy to back it. All the best, Simon.
Siimon Broom, Julie & Me.

tamamushi wrote 710 days ago

I was happy to back this book. The concept of reality TV gone nuts recalls King's Running Man and The Long Walk, both stories I highly enjoyed. The satirical approach your story has taken so far, from what I've read, is different though and makes it stand on its own.

twosleeps wrote 713 days ago

Absolutely hilarious stuff. Can't wait to read more.

MarieG wrote 722 days ago

Hi Peter

Great start to your book and I particularly enjoyed the dialogue. I'll definitely be back to find out if Tony manages to come up with the goods.

Regards
Marie

mostSleptOn wrote 722 days ago

LoL when I read it I knew you would catch hell for the Dickens remark. In my humble opinion editor's desk material. Polished, nice fluid dialogue. Superb.

eloravelle wrote 723 days ago

I like the way the character thinks to himself. Or his dialogue to himself. I like the feel of this story spanning out. The way you put the quotes andthe prologue and the pitch together. It tells us as readers whats going to happen. But we have to sit through the ride and enjoy it. I must say so far I am. This story is very creative and I am very interested to keep on reading and see what happens.

mcbunk wrote 724 days ago

"Reprehensible" - PETA

Susann wrote 724 days ago

Although this is not the type of book that interests me, I feel that it is well written and thought out. Your characters and meaning comes alive and the book should do well.
Susann

Tonia Marlowe wrote 726 days ago

I have very little to say that hasn't already been said, Peter. I repeat that you are certainly causing a sensation here!

Original, yes. Funny, yes. Well edited, yes. Good cover, yes. Do I want to keep reading, yes! And that's what it's all about, isn't it. Keeping the reader sufficiently engrossed to want to know *what happens next*. I'll be back to read more.

My only very slight criticism - the first paragraph where you refer to Dickens as a dickhead - that jarred badly with me and I'm pretty sure it would not get past an editor. A minor point perhaps but coming at the beginning ...




davesealey wrote 728 days ago

Very cool stuff indeed, I love the narrative voice, it's very strong and really grabs you by the throat. As for the subject matter, the dreck of modern television is a perfect carcass to tear strips out of. Highly original modern story-telling. If you get a chance, check out my book "No Excuse Bruce - The Spark of Life." It's got a similar sort of "post-noir" tone :)

missyfleming_22 wrote 728 days ago

This is awesome Peter, you've brought us an original plot and I'm loving it. It's clever and witty and just flat out hilarious. We're so obsessed with our reality shows and I see this as being very marketable. The manuscript is very polished too, pacing is perfect for me and this kind of book. I think you've got something that a lot of people are going to go crazy over.

I'll get you up on the shelf as soon as I can! Starred for now and eager to keep reading.
Missy

Crispy wrote 728 days ago

Hi Peter
A brilliant idea...though you just have to hope that in the real world this does not get taken up as a great idea, by one of the dodgy channels in the high 100's on Freeview!

This had me laughing from the beginning. Snappy dialogue and a fast pace. Starred and soon to be on my shelf.

Perhaps you would take a look at Marking Time, a satire about the UK Education system and an otter.

Good luck
Crispy

P.s the comment below rings true, Simon Cowell would pick up Marriage of Fire!

president wrote 729 days ago
president wrote 729 days ago

Loved it! reality shows are getting more and more bizarre - it won't be long before someone really pitches this idea. Great idea, Peter! Looking forward to the sequel!

Jim Darcy wrote 730 days ago

Most unusual read for a long time :)

Su Dan wrote 730 days ago

great idea, written with perfect pace, narrative, dialogue, and skill. this is on my watchlist...
6 stars******
read SEASONS...

Green H wrote 730 days ago

I am enjoying the read and will continue when i get chance ...so far so good. I am sure when i continue my read i will understand your title much better. I have noticed in your last received comment from Sarah that she mentioned about the 'versus' and i thought the same thing when i saw it. I personally think "vs" will look best. Otherwise i will keep you posted on what my thoughts are.
In the meantime please read some of my work when you have time. I still have a lot to change and some extra work to add, but i am sure you will get the feel as it is currently put out.

regards
green h
through green's eyes

Sarah Alexandra George wrote 730 days ago

Review: Beast versus Beast

Peter,
First of all, I think you should change the title from 'Beast versus Beast' to 'Beast v Beast' or 'Beast vs. Beast', it just seems snappier and more dramatic. A title is very important when people are trawling through lists of books, especially when there is no cover art. You want to catch them straight away, entice them into wanting to find out more about your book.
I'm not sure whether you have ever read any Ben Elton (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chart_Throb) but this is definitely of a very similar genre. You share the same themes - conjectures about the future, criticisms on society and the way it is headed and a subtle moral message. Ben Elton's work was described by a critic for The Independent as being "...too in your face, too ambitious and ultimately too obvious to be very funny, or actually very original. However, it will still sell shed-loads." Ben Elton is incredibly famous, which helps him promote his books, however you need to make sure you don’t fall into these pits.
When you take a reader into a different world (in the future), you need to make the world believable in order for them to feel relaxed in the novel. I found quite a few issues that need to be addressed. There isn’t enough explanation about what exactly has happened to America. We get a very brief summary, which perhaps should be drawn out into a longer, more ongoing commentary. You also need to give us a plausible reason for why America has become a violence loving, prude nation. Readers won’t accept every whim of the author with no good basis for doing so. You are losing out on a coherent backdrop by wasting your time describing his hometown in Canada which really isn’t relevant at all. Have him coming from a hillbilly town in the States, you don’t need to go into detail. We already have Cambodia, Sudan and many other countries mentioned without going to Canada as well. I know you are from Canada, but bite the bullet and get rid of it.
I also found the MC’s personality a little inconsistent. He worries about sleeping with the Ice Princess as she has a boyfriend, but has no qualms sending an innocent man to his death. Such a distorted imbalance of the current morals needs to be further explained. I think this ties in with further describing the setting in America. Another thing that bothered me was his qualms with killing the animal activist and the local meth dealer when earlier on in the novel he proposed hobo-hunting as a good show. I don’t really see how these differ. The discomfort he feels about General Leng’s homicidal background also doesn’t ring true given Tony’s past ideas. I think you need to make the MC a little more consistent.
I found Zod to be just a bit too unbelievable, more a monster than a man. His storyline is also not really sufficiently wrapped up. He is accused of spiking the water supply with the drug but we aren’t really properly told of his motives and why he isn’t held to account for his actions. Although I did appreciate the introduction of Sean as he helped the readers understand Zod better. Finally I also found Schurer a bit odd. He comes across as an old man, who although strict is also fair and just. He is the kindest to Perri when Perri is pitching his ideas. However he then was quite happy to send Perri in to face the grizzly. I could understand if Pompanella did, but not Schurer.
My final criticism is the slightly obsessed reliance on drugs for the storyline. I know that they are in Cambodia where drugs are cheap and often used by foreigners, but I found the nonstop use of drugs getting old very quickly. Not only are all the animals drugged up to their eyeballs but so are the characters. Despite being a total psycho, I still found the notion of Zod putting magic mushrooms in Perris’ drink just downright random. Cut it back a bit.
Having highlighted my issues with the book, I’ll point out that all in all I do think this is a very well written novel, with a tense storyline that keeps the reader glued to the page. Having just used a terribly clichéd term, I should point out that though you have had some comments suggesting you tone down the clichés, I totally disagree. You are writing from the point of view of Perri, writer devoid of any talent, who has probably never read a serious book in his life. It makes perfect sense that he would talk in clichés. I also like the allegory between the dog-eat-dog fight and the dog-eat dog professional environment they are in.
I think the themes addressed in the book are important and very current. We are living in a society that is increasingly addicted to reality TV and this problem does need to be highlighted (think of the humans in Wall E). Like someone said below, I too can imagine Simon Cowell championing something like Who Wants to Marry a Filipino Pirate! The idea behind Marriage of Fire is hilarious and points out just how ridiculous TV series are becoming. However, the main people to blame are those who watch all these shows. Having said that, I can easily imagine 99% of men wanting to watch Beast vs. Beast. Speculations as to which of two dangerous animals would win in a fight are a very common topic of conversation among men. One which for some reason can keep them entertained for curiously long periods of time. However, despite not being male, I still found the premise for this novel very original and I greatly enjoyed the story. I also disagree with the idea that this novel would not appeal to people who love animals. I absolutely adore animals, but was quite capable of separating a work of fiction from reality. Especially since that work of fiction was a criticism of the show and the increasing love of violence in the West. Anyone who says they couldn’t stomach the fight scenes really needs to grow some balls. There are much more explicit murder novels, yet you don’t hear of readers saying they can’t read them because they love humans too much! I was very amused by the law that no harm can befall dogs. Though it secretly made me happy, it does perfectly capture the inconsistent and often hypocritical ideas put forward by Western authorities.
I am glad that you finished the novel with Tony returning to the company. Given the insights into his personality that we gleaned throughout the book, it wouldn’t have made sense for him to suddenly become a rational being. It is also perhaps the most damning part of the book. Here’s a man who was literally thrown into a cage to die and he then goes back to work for the very people who tried to kill him! It’s just too ridiculously funny.
I don’t think this will ever be a great work of literature. It is not the genre that holds it back, as dystopian fiction has given birth to some of the most famous novels in history – Animal Farm, 1984 and Brave New World, to name just a few. However, the scope of this novel is too narrow, the agenda too obvious and the language is too popular to allow it to soar to those heights. Having said that, I suspect you are aware of this and never intended it to be more than a very entertaining, yet also meaningful work. I think that if you accept the constructive criticisms provided to you from the other users and rework it accordingly, you will come out with a very strong, funny yet serious novel that will no doubt delight the masses. And who knows, maybe one day it will ‘sell shed-loads’!

Vixen Vex wrote 730 days ago

How original!

Sue Matthews wrote 730 days ago

Please message me next month for a spot on my shelf!

Amy Leigh wrote 731 days ago

After watching you tear up the charts, I had to take a look. Very funny stuff. Keep it up - you're on my bookshelf and watchlist right now!

Jannypeacock wrote 731 days ago

This is so funny, almost peed myself - and I usually have excellent bladder control.
Loved every word I read. It's impossible to find time around here to read all the books, but I think I'll be coming back until I have finished this.

greyowlskater wrote 732 days ago

This is a funny, raw, clever satire written with youthful energy. Tony Perri is an anti-hero, a likable, hypocritical schmuck living in a TV dystopia. You hate Tony, and yet you have to cheer for him. The novel moves briskly. I read it one sitting. And just when you think that the novel becomes formulaic, Spadoni conceives a brilliant ending. The epilogue points to a sequel. This is a great send-up of TV reality shows. Not for animal lovers or sanctimonious followers of conventional morality.

kategrimes@live.co.uk wrote 732 days ago

Well. Peter, what can I say. It's a great book; Brutal and realistic, and I felt compelled to read more, but I must admit to feeling sick at the thought of a t.v show wanting to make money out of something so cruel. I'm an animal-lover, and so I don't think I'd buy a book like that, but I do admire your skill. It would work for me if the animals were man-made robots, in today's technical age they could be fantastically real and the audience need never know. I suppose man's lust for blood is an age- old thing, but it's not my cup of tea. Sorry. I have backed the book anyway and it's on w.l.

Kate Grimes -LIZZIE - CUPPA TALES - TALES OF WILLOW GREEN - ANNIE

tommyboy wrote 732 days ago

I joined this site because my dad, who is a long-time member here, recommended a few books to me. This was one of them.

I don't really know how to describe it - sort of like "Fight Club" meets "The Running Man", but really, really funny. I highly recommend it!

churchillw wrote 732 days ago

This is a great book must get the market

churchillw wrote 732 days ago

This is a great book must get the market

churchillw wrote 732 days ago

This is a great book must get the market

midropes wrote 732 days ago

Love it! Haven't eaten meat in the past 20 years, but this hasn't changed my ability to read. I'm also not into serial killing, but can read books about murder and crime. You're a funny funny man can't wait to read on!

katjay wrote 732 days ago

This is clever and funny. Tony is a great MC, dialogue is spot on and the premise is brilliant. What more can I say? I've starred and watchlisted Beast versus Beast and will ask my compadre, gacojo, to back you tomorrow as I don't have room on my shelf for a day or two.Will be reading more.
Kat x (Hens from Hell)
ps Marriage of Fire sounds like something Simon Cowell would definitely buy up!

mcbunk wrote 732 days ago

I think that the cliches are part and parcel to the character. If you've ever spent any time in LA, you know that it is a that city is a cliche unto itself. I mean look at the crappy summer lineup on NBC or TERRIBLE movies like "the Green Lantern". If you write crap like that, I can only assume you are a cliche ridden, egotistical ass, much like Spadoni's main character, Perri.

mcbunk wrote 732 days ago

I think that the cliches are part and parcel to the character. If you've ever spent any time in LA, you know that it is a that city is a cliche unto itself. I mean look at the crappy summer lineup on NBC or TERRIBLE movies like "the Green Lantern". If you write crap like that, I can only assume you are a cliche ridden, egotistical ass, much like Spadoni's main character, Perri.

JimmyMcNugs wrote 732 days ago

Excellent Work Mr. Spadoni!

I look forward to reading more by you!

J.Kinkade wrote 733 days ago

This is brilliant. Nothing wrong at all with this first chapter. Dialogue is perfect. Dry humor is over the top. The pacing is just right. Highly rated for now and watchlisted until next week when I back it with pleasure. JKinkade

J.Kinkade wrote 733 days ago

This is brilliant. Nothing wrong at all with this first chapter. Dialogue is perfect. Dry humor is over the top. The pacing is just right. Highly rated for now and watchlisted until next week when I back it with pleasure. JKinkade

scrowder wrote 733 days ago

In response to the previous poster's comment - I agree that it can feel a little cliched in terms of the expressions he uses (it gets better as the book goes on). However, I feel that is kind of the writer's point - it's sort of an extension of the character (he is a hopeless writer himself). But I see what you mean.

I also think that if you are a vegetarian, this might not be the book for you. While the character ultimately changes (I don't want to give too much away here), it might be a little too subtle (too little too late maybe?)

Either way, a good, solid read, and lots of laughs.

PenInHand wrote 733 days ago

Wow, pretty interesting premise. I only read the first chapter, because as somebody who has not eaten meat in the past five years, I don't think I could feel any sympathy for your main character. I also feel like, although you have a pretty strong voice, you spoil it by constantly using cliched expressions. Dog-eat-dog, old horse, etc. make editors run for cover.

Jenni Hall wrote 733 days ago

You´re doing rather well. Good luck.

scrowder wrote 733 days ago

I just finished your book. Great read!! Making sure to recommend it to my friends.

Sylvia Johnson wrote 733 days ago

This is a really interesting read. And while it's not something that I'd normally check out (my tastes are more Nicolas Sparks than Carl Hiaasen), there's just something sooo tempting about your idea. I'll give you this much: it's hugely original! You, sir, must have a darkly twisted sense of humor.

I've just finished the first third and can't stop (though I do have to go to work!). I can't wait to see how you tie it all in.

Sarah Alexandra George wrote 733 days ago

Glad to see you upoaded the book - will try and read it as soon as I have a spare moment! :)

Andi Brown wrote 733 days ago

You had me at dickhead. Oh, wait, that's a falsehood. You had me when you dared to put Cicero and Goldwyn on the same page for the first time ever. I laughed out loud, and then laughed some more. One of the best show-biz sendups I haven't finished reading yet. Bravo, sir!

I am giving you six stars, a rarity for me, and putting you on my watch list until some space opens up on my shelf.
Andi
P.S. I think I'm a little bit in love with you.

mcbunk wrote 733 days ago

Simply put: This book is absolutely hilarious.

The characters are well-developed, unique, and ultimately funny. On numerous occasions while reading this, I found myself laughing out loud. So much so, that my flatmate had to come check on me to see what I was laughing at (as he could hear no TV on). I enjoyed that there was an element of familiarity in this story. I know personally that I have joked around with my buddies about which animal would win in a fight against another animal (ie. lion vs. tiger, elephant vs. hippo, etc) and I know that I've heard people (guys) talking about this on the tube.

But while this is a funny story, the story runs deeper than just a few laughs. Throughout this brilliant satire makes you reflect on a lot of the social ills that affect America and more generally the West. For instance, Spadoni offers an insightful social commentary on the exceptionally lame reality-tv phenomena that has gripped the United States for the past decade (ie. survivor, the ultimate game, etc.) and America's obsession with (ultra)violence. But while offering such a stinging critique, Spadoni presents it in a very amusing way.

I strongly recommend this book. Even with 75,000 words, I still managed to read it in just a few hours, because I could not stop! 6 out of 6 stars!!! Good work!

1