Book Jacket

 

rank 1300
word count 51379
date submitted 28.06.2011
date updated 08.10.2011
genres: Historical Fiction, Science Fiction...
classification: moderate
incomplete

The Demon's Door Bolt; a Tale of End-Time Panic as a Prelude to the Total Absence of EVERYTHING

A.J. Campbell

Hell's Gates are open, and Daemon prepares for Armageddon. World leaders consider it rumor, and only a bumbling Magus and handicapped warriors can save Earth.

 

The Earth's Door Bolt in Hyperboria has been breeched. The year is 499, the gates of Hell are open as Daemon prepares to conceive the Antichrist and bring his minions to the Upperworld. The major empires-- Rome and Persia-- believe the opening of Hell's gate is a fantastic rumor. Only Prester John and his Grail Warriors are left to fight the Prince of Darkness.

But there's a slight problem. Prester John panics and resurrects five handicapped warriors. The sixth warrior is chained to the Rock of Prometheus, and the prophesized seventh warrior has yet to be found.

The water-clock is running dry! Can the Grail Warriors and steppe barbarians "kill" ten million dead guys and save the World? Maybe... with a little help from Mungo the Obvious, the Machina ex Deus, plus Raphael Jabar and his twenty-seventh Thirteenth Yurt.

The Demon's Door Bolt is complete at 99K (give or take a small k)
If you need more chapters, contact me.

 
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tags

demons, flying gryphons, handicapped warriors, shrinking cosmos, sun tzu, swords, the avars, the devil, uther pendragon

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Chapters

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Chapter 16: A Little Too Auspicious

 

Thunder began to abate as rain slowed to a drizzle. Within Prester John’s yurt water dripped from their clothes as Galen stuffed scavenged wood to the central hearth. The machine-woman almost stood within the fire itself, her teeth chattering audibly. Everyone else stood shoulder to shoulder, for little room remained within an enclosure filled with chests. Women glanced to one another, and Galen caught his uncle’s eye; for no-one knew what to think upon this night. The Prester was dumbfounded! Again! Only hours before he had spoken with a mysterious man claiming to be a scribe, yet John believed he was none other than the Archangel Raphael. Was this another being from a Thirteenth Yurt arriving from the far side of the cosmos? Some folk considered them an illusion, like the Magyar sentry, but the Magus had seen otherwise. He knew the experience was real enough—crude naphtha clung to his boots.

Subdued light within the yurt could not hide the machine-woman’s features, her blue eyes—no less blue than a clear night’s sky—and likewise the metalic blued limbs. Vishpala believed they were a sign, the color of sacredness, affixed upon a woman not from this transitory earth but sent by good gods divine. She is from an unknown future, perhaps here to help us.

Galen studied the woman’s arms, the joints double-cogged. They are artificial, moved by machinamentum. Yet she is living flesh. At his side, Vishpala broke silence, her thoughts returning to the hard-nosed world, “She is freezing and needs a blanket.”

“Yes, of course!” returned the Magus, thinking of Raphael’s statement—“sent by the Master himself”—while Uther grabbed a bed-roll, handing it to her.

The woman nodded, wrapping the doubled blanket around her body. She surveyed the men, looked straight at Prester John, and asked, “You are their leader, the brother of Kriegor?”

“Yes I am,” he acknowledged, “My name is Prester John. And you are?”

Valeriana, Librarian of Antioch,” and she corrected herself, “Former librarian.” She held her hands before the hearth as if flesh, and continued, “Now they call me the Blue Bitch. Appropriate, I think.She raised her arms, “These are strengthened by a truss hinged over my shoulder blades,” and she patted an upper leg, “I have a metallic hip replacement.”

Yet your body is flesh?” inquired Vishpala, “Let us move to the fire’s warmth.” She sat, inviting the woman to do likewise. Warriors dropped to sit cross-legged around the hearth, including Sun Tzu, while Prester John and Uther sat with legs tucked to one side.

Valeriana crouched to the warmth for a moment, leaned back, and unwrapped the blanket to tap her body, “This is armor, a shell hinged at the crotch,” and she fingered one of the latches at her shoulders, “They unsnap. I remove it while inactive and before sleeping.

“Then you are human,” affirmed the Prester.

She gave a hard smile, “Yes, where it counts. My brain moves my limbs, just as it always did. They’re reconstructions by a team of scientific men,” eyeing Prester John, “You are a Magus, perhaps familiar with their work—Archimedes, Herophilus, Erasistratus, Democritus, and Galen the physician,” and she leaned to the fire again, “I’m not accustomed to dampness. You obviously know where I come from.

“The men you mention went to Hades centuries ago,” surmised Galen.

“But you are alive, I can tell,” blurted Vishpala, still fascinated by the woman’s limbs, “And your arms and legs are perfect, like works of art.”

Valeriana’s half smile vanished, “Courtesy of Bishop Flavian and his henchmen. They are replacements sculpted by Praxiteles and move by solar and atomic energia.”

“Atomic?” quizzed Sun Tzu.

She tried to explain, not entirely sure herself, “Atoms are the smallest particles, objects that cannot be divided further. They are equidistant and surrounded by a void. But if disturbed by an outside source, they collide and produce energia. Everything is made of atoms compounded into different structures, from the hardest to the most fluid—close-locking as in rock and metal, or looser, such as flesh and water.”

The Serican remained puzzled, “But how are they disturbed?”

    “From a power capsule with double chambers. Small amounts of energia are produced as negative pulses. These flow through wires—the most conductive being gold—and travel to the positive side of the capsule. As the pulses travel, they disrupt atoms and cause a response, because the atoms cannot realign themselves quick enough. They hit each other with ever greater force, producing larger amounts of energia through controlled reaction, and the speed of it is instantaneous.

Prester John sat amazed, silent. Atomic energia? He was a Magus and alchemist, yet never had he known of such powers. This woman was incredibly intelligent, perhaps more so than himself, a person who descended to Hell and came back unique. She held secrets beyond those of any other person! Yet he could only wonder, “Why are you here?”

She acknowledged them all as she spoke, “I could use some decent food. Only those sitting here know what I am,” and she held out her hands, “The others believe they saw an apparition, a blue spirit. If I had decent clothes and a different helmet, I would like to live as normal a life as I might,” then pinning the Magus straight in the eye, “Why did I come? You know the prophecies of John the Divine? Then know I am the seventh star you have waited for.”

And thus they talked into the night, as dragons stilled and the rain ceased. Valeriana told them all she knew of the impending attack. Sometime around midnight, they decided a few hours of sleep would be beneficial, if possible. Temporarily Valeriana would rest in the women’s yurt, but Prester John promised that upon the morrow he would split women’s quarters into pairs, claiming he would move to a command tent yet to be built. He just babbled on, all exited, describing the things he needed—buckets and spigots for collecting pine pitch, more buckets for raw naphtha, blacksmiths to create the spigots, mud-brick kilns to fire clay pots and amphorae, and basket weavers to create large saddlebags. All of these things he deemed incredibly important as the warriors eyed him with trepidation. What was he talking about? Naphtha? Pine Pitch? Amphorae?

Later that night in the womens yurt, sleep eluded Vishpala and perhaps the other three. She had watched Valeriana remove her armored shell, stripped down to a tight-fitting cotton liner. Around its edges, she could see the scars. Ekhida had gasped, and Amanirena turned her back, perhaps repulsed. Steel appendages attached to a human body produced repugnance; for Valeriana appeared non-human, a dark product of a grisly experiment. Such a beautiful face and pristine hair that swept to mid-back. Yet never would a man touch or even look at her without revulsion. Valeriana was a virgin and would remain one.

Vishpala arose, stoking the hearth with three pieces of wood, to again crawl under her blanket. She listened to the machine-woman’s breathing, not the long breaths of sleep but quieter. How could this woman repose softly, innocently with eyes closed, and drift off to dreamland. No. Valeriana had countless ghosts tucked in her past; and at this very moment, now that the rain ceased, the supreme ghost—Daemon, her former master—would be screaming in anger. Valeriana lived a nightmare. And nothing would change for her until the demon was vanquished. Once again, Vishpala rolled upon her side, yet she could not close her eyes. She knew about iron appendages, ugly barriers between reality and happiness.

Galen’s yurt stood a few paces away, not far from the women or his uncle. Once again the hearth died to embers as he rolled to his side beneath the blankets. He was unsure of the machine woman’s intent. She might be sincere or planted within the Grail camp by Daemon as a spy. His uncle appeared not to suspect it; yet the Prester was too trusting, a man living in partial fantasy. The blunt fact hidden in a great title—Ruler of the Seven Hidden Kingdoms—was a lordship over nothing but dirt. The “kingdoms were “hidden” within a huge swath of saw-grass and desert extending from the Great Wall to the Black Sea. They equaled an empire in size. Prester John “allowed” nomadic tribes to live within them, the Ughars, Avars, and Ephthalites, yet he gifted them with “subsidies,” monetary stipends to keep them under check and presumably “loyal.” What need had they for a Palace of Knowledge or a garden housing pear trees? The Seven Kingdoms were in equilibrium yet constantly changing with tribes moving here and there in search of pasture-land. Other than a comfy palace, an extensive library, and an overly-large mirror, the Kingdoms were theoretical, an old family tradition of assumed importance. Fortunate for his uncle, the tribes respected the historical position of the Magi.

Galen rolled to his other side, pulling the blanket higher. Only weeks before, he was known as The Horsebreaker. Life was simple then. He could ride in total freedom, not so much physical freedom as it was subjective. Now he had to live up to a standard set not by his uncle but as perceived by the Grail Warriors, a captive of war and his position in it. Absolutely no options. Upon the field of the morrow, he would have the task of avenging his father’s murder, to “kill” his uncle Kriegor, a man already dead.

He had no idea where Czaba was, yet hoping the Magyar would return in the morning. The man’s charge—leader of eight tribes—was his excuse for not becoming a Grail warrior. Strange that only days after Czaba’s refusal, this machine-woman strolls into camp through a thunderstorm and calls herself the seventh, an episode beyond bizarre, worse than a Greek comedy. Never in a million years could a drunken fabulist, even if doped-up on poppies and cannabis, imagine a real breathing machine woman. And atomic energia? You had to consume more mead than a bear could swallow to dream that one up. It even paled Uther!

Ah yes, Uther the famed Roman general and his family sword Tyrfing. Galen was no expert in foreign languages yet he knew the name was Germanic, for they had a god called Tyr. Uther Pendragon had an undisclosed past, just like Valeriana.

And what of his uncle? He wondered about the Prester’s sanity, the man wide-eyed and babbling about alchemic ingredients, claiming they were sitting on a mother-lode of raw oil. Something was amiss, a little too auspicious. He would keep a tight eye on a self-proclaimed Seventh Warrior. Tomorrow will determine which side she’s really on.

Chapters

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Shelby Z. wrote 303 days ago

The Demon's Door Bolt by A.J. Campbell.
This book is very interesting tale and a unique one.
There isn't much to say, but that the book is very well written and the story is well thought out. No flaws in this well crafted story.
Good work.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Please take a look at my pirate adventure Driving Winds.

Mithun Kalaga wrote 363 days ago

Terrific plot...The beginning of the book is quite marvellous!!!

Bryn Hammond wrote 501 days ago

I bought the book on Amazon; I read it in three days; it's glorious and means a lot to me, steppe-freak that I am. I'll say more in other venues. - Bryn

Update: I've written 1184 words of comment, or billet-doux, on Goodreads. Big for these pages? Go see it there, it's a great site.

X the Unknown33 wrote 546 days ago

hey, not sure if u remember me but we had a comment swap agreement . . . uh . . .LMS, i think 'bout 2 months ago.
anyways, i've read 2 chaps and & i'll have 2 be honest with u, its doesn't quite take the cake 4 me, individually.
But how u introduced your story in the PRO was intriguing. Mystical. And these -in lack of a better word- hints of this going to somehow end up an end days story in historical fiction is COOL.
GL Warrior ;)

X

Su Dan wrote 618 days ago

fascinating book, though l must read more...l shall back if l like...
read SEASONS...

Steppe Warrior wrote 666 days ago

Mr. Campbell,

Thanks for stealing the basic premise of the Roadrunner and Coyote. You can look forward to a law-suit.

Most seriously,
Chuck Jones

Steppe Warrior wrote 669 days ago

Really enjoyed reading the first chapter. You set the mood up well and intrigue the reader. I'm not a huge fan of this kind of fantasy writing but this is written really well and very cleanly. I can imagine this doing really well in its genre. I particularly enjoyed the characterisation of the main female character. Good luck with the novel!



Sarah,
I've been away from the internet for 2 days, just getting back. Thanks for backing the Demon's Door Bolt. What I've posted has actually been cleaned up, but in a 5.25 X 8 Createspace format. In the tale, there are actually more female warriors than males. Glad you enjoy. It's not on many bookshelves because I'm not good at huckstering it. I'll get back to your story either tonight or tomorrow.

best,
A.J.

Ariom Dahl wrote 670 days ago

I started looking at several books on the site yesterday, and found this one to be delightfully off beat. Giving you a good star rating and continuing to read. I see previous comments have included the words 'quirky' and 'tongue-in-cheek' and that's how I found it, too. Maybe when you edit you could get rid of a few exclamation marks, but otherwise it reads well, with an individual style.

sarahdalton wrote 672 days ago

Really enjoyed reading the first chapter. You set the mood up well and intrigue the reader. I'm not a huge fan of this kind of fantasy writing but this is written really well and very cleanly. I can imagine this doing really well in its genre. I particularly enjoyed the characterisation of the main female character. Good luck with the novel!

Steppe Warrior wrote 675 days ago


You mentioned something about Buddha debating with the butcher about the price of pig. Is this a reference to some text? I imagine that Buddha being a vegetarian wouldn't do that.



Olefish, thanks for the comment. I have to use the ao voice due to the large number of characters in this story, on Topside, Hell, Heaven, and Purgatory. The voice varies, sometimes distant and close. Sakyamuni was fairly eclectic in his choice of foods, and his last meal included pork... just the opposite tastes from the Judeans. :)

olefish wrote 676 days ago

I like the amalgamation of mythologies here. It is rather creative. Your use of the omni-pov is also well done. I worry a bit about the rambling quality of the narrative. Even though the narrative voice is interesting, it does remove me further away from the characters

You mentioned something about Buddha debating with the butcher about the price of pig. Is this a reference to some text? I imagine that Buddha being a vegetarian wouldn't do that.

Steppe Warrior wrote 679 days ago

Well, A.J., you did a fairly good job on this one.
As always, your friend,
Giovanni Boccaccio

Sorry. Not enough whining. I caught a bigger fish than you did. So there!
Ernest Hemingway

Needs a little more moralizing. Other than that, I'll read into the second paragraph.
As always,
Dante Allegeri

So what if I described a stone house on one page and said it was wooden on another.
I'm more famous than you are. And I have more dust on my boots. Take a hike.
William Faulkner

AntoinetteBergin wrote 682 days ago

This book is wonderful. The author recommended I read Chapter 4, which I did, and it was comical and beautifully written. So I couldn't resist starting over from the beginning. If you could see me, you would see that I am recommending this book as hard as I can. It's quite straining, really, but it's worth it.

Steppe Warrior wrote 687 days ago

Back to you, Al

I've cleaned up the openers, got the dashes in, and dumped the reduntant "sagely." The fifty-pound draw I had wrangled with before, everything else becoming longer and clunkier, so I left it. Barbarian societies delt in commodites, gems and tin, along with breeding and trading horses, and I figured they could weigh things to the ounce.

I know the style is quirky, not English 101, but it flows-- what you called "word building." I'll drive an editor crazy but the reader is better off for it. A lot in this ms is unconventional, including a large number of reversed anacronyms, espressions like "anal retentive" and "manic depressive." You just don't do that in a historical setting. (But you don't place science fiction in the ancient past, either.) At first I worried, but after two or three dozen, the anomalies became hilarious. And not one reader has mentioned they crush the fictional dream.

Thanks for the read; your input is correct and valuable.

A.J.

CarolinaAl wrote 688 days ago

I read your prologue and first chapter.

General comments: An interesting start. Likable main characters. Thought-provoking narrative. Lyrical prose. Clever wit. Awesome world building. Atmospheric. Vivid imagery. Not a lot of tension in what I read so far. Good pacing.

Specific comments on the prologue:
1) You let me know in your message that you occassionally intentionally punctuate narrative preceding dialogue with a comma, so I'll not point those out to you.
2) You also occassionally don't capitalize the first word of narrative sentences following dialogue. With your writing background, I assume that is intentional as well.
3) ' ... when finished it had a fifty pound draw.' This would imply an advanced capacity to measure 'pull' accurately. That's not something I would have expected to find in a bow and arrow society. But, I'll accept this important piece of information as part of your world building.
4) "The symbol represents good fortune. Something you need," she sagely replied. Try to be careful with adverbs. In this case, the dialogue seems wise. As a result, 'sagely' reads redundant to me.

Specific comments on the first chapter:
1) "What if I refuse?" smirked the Horsebreaker. A 'smirk' is a facial expression. You can't 'smirk' dialogue.
2) "I know it carries all the sharp toys you think you need. Put a closing quote mark after 'need.'
3) Hyphenate 'twenty four.'
4) 'He nephew stood puzzled before him.' 'He' should be 'his.'
5) Hyphenate 'self defense.'
6) Excellent end of chapter hook. Who wouldn't turn the page after reading that line?

I hope this critique helps your further polish your all important opening pages. These are just my opinions. Use what works for you and discard the rest.

Have a splendid day.

Al

drbeshears wrote 689 days ago

I started on your book today; have only just begun, but I'm definitely being drawn in. Looking forward to going back in. Thanks - David (Climb the Mountain).

D M Sharples wrote 690 days ago

I like this, it has a quirky style, giving it a casual feel which is juxtaposed to the seriousness of the events the characters are facing. Sometimes I feel as though a sentence here and there isn't quite correct, but at the same time I don't know whether I'm right in thinking so or whether it's intentional.

The humour is subtle at times, blatent at others and always welcome.

I feel I would benefit greatly from having a much better knowledge of Asian history, as some of the references are lost on me. However this doesn't really detract from the overall experience.

I think there are some minor issues with punctuation around dialogue tagging, but nothing a light edit wouldn't fix.

Overall this is a good piece of work that draws the reader in nicely, welcomes them (while perhaps pulling faces behind their back) and trots along at a pace which is pleasant and interesting. I shall be reading more.

D M Sharples.

Kenneth Edward Lim wrote 692 days ago

A.J.,
"The Demon's Door Bolt" with its impressive cast of characters headed by Prester John on one side and Daemon on the other, was to me like a fictional approximation of events leading to the Battle of Armageddon, the Final Showdown. An undercurrent of tongue-in-cheek humour especially in the dynamic between the hero Galen and his centuries-old immortal ex-wife Ekhida, still a virgin, flavoured your meticulous narrative well. Thank you so much for the compelling read.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

Steppe Warrior wrote 692 days ago

This is a very interesting story. I like the historical richness that is woven into each piece of the story creating a dense web of facts and images. I have only read through Chapter 1, but I look forward to continuing on when time permits me.
Best wishes,
PJ Daley - Birth of the Warrior



Thanks for the comment, Paul

Yes, the story incorporates historical background into a sci-fi tale. We have righteous personages from the past (the resurrected) fighting evil ones from the past (those from Hell) within a story set in a slightly more recent past. This approach-- affixing sci-fantasy into our own human past, our historical background-- is a new concept. At least I think it is.

The DDB is actually my fifth novel, the previous ones (all epic in scale) being "practice." In essence, it has taken me almost 15 years to finalize the single book that is correct. When it happens, you know it. A voice says, "This is IT!" I posted this tale on June 28th and it's now ready to crack below the 300 mark. It's not on that many bookshelves, but the comments are encouraging, some readers asking for the entire ms (which I send via email as a PDF).

The difference in age between you and I is more than 50 years, but we stir the same cauldron. I'm glad to see you've posted your first novel. Brave. You have grit; and the story-line is a rather good one for young adult. Charlie is much like my Galen, both smaller men yet having wit and speed. Keep writing and rewriting. It's the only way to excell. I wrote nonfiction for 40 years and developed decent writing habits, became the top in my field. I gave it all up to write one good novel.

If I might: your Harris says, "Well, yea I have many dreams Charlie...." The word "yea" is rather Biblical, like Jesus speaking, "Yea, I say unto you, Paul. Do not use yea when you can use yuh."

"Flow" to me is important, almost subliminal yet it connects and allows the reader to read faster. When a person is the subject of a paragraph and then speaks, connect the two together. I believe it's tighter that way. Whatever you do, don't give up, just write and then write again in a slightly different way until it becomes "right."

At the moment, my bookshelf is full. These authors need to be there because they have something important to say at the Editor's Desk. I'll read more of your's, hopefully backing BOTW in the future. Likewise, if you do continue reading mine, then appraise it and give it as many stars as you see fit.

We will stay in touch,
A.J. Campbell

PJ Daley wrote 692 days ago

This is a very interesting story. I like the historical richness that is woven into each piece of the story creating a dense web of facts and images. I have only read through Chapter 1, but I look forward to continuing on when time permits me.
Best wishes,
PJ Daley - Birth of the Warrior

Steppe Warrior wrote 694 days ago

I like what I have read so far. There is a real flavour of the passage of time in it and many colourful images and I aim to read moore soon. I find your narrative style easy to follow and the story just flows as a result. I think you will go really far with this. I think everyone has preconceptions and fears about the world ending and not necessarily rooted in the Bible..."

Hello Melanie,

Thanks for reading part of the DDB. Frankly, I have no idea where this fluid style came from. I have been writing for 40 years, and then suddenly!-- something that might mimic the profluency of Homer if we could read him in original Greek. I agree that the End of Times doesn't specifically relate to the Bible. In the tale, my characters (especially later with Galen the Physician) actually question the very existance of God and even the human soul. He puts it this way (speaking through an omnipotent voice)-- "We are what we believe we are."

I'm proud of the DDB. It sends an important message in such a subtle and humorous way. Yet it's a message we particularly need in this day and age. It let's us know that all of us have a potential for greatness, even the humble and poor. Although the landscape is foreign (the steppes), much like another planet, the characters are us, we humans who can rise above handicaps, mental of physical.

Not many people are reading this tale. It sits on only 14 shelves. But I thank you for what you've read and hope you might read more. If you can give it a high star rating, that would help.

Again, thanks so much
A.J.

Steppe Warrior wrote 694 days ago

THE DEMON'S DOOR BOLT (Part Two)
A. J. Campbell

Nine hours later and I have finished reading all you have given me. I was right after reading the first chapter. This is a brilliant piece of work. I am really speechless with awe over what you have accomplished. Threading in the entities of the past, done with delicious humor and subtlety makes of this a libretto so finely tuned it overcomes the reader. I just felt as if I could not stop reading. I laughed out loud so many times throughout. I congratulate you on this accomplishment of world building.

I would love to read more. I'll send you my e mail address if you would allow me to take you up on your offer.

Sincerely,

Mary Enck
A King in Time



Hello Mary,

First, I was beginning to wonder if anyone had actually read the DDB chapters I posted. And second, thank you so much for your kindness. I wanted to produce a tale (not really a "story") that combined the best of old legends, the best of what we humans could be, and then transfer these qualities into an artifical brain that believes it's alive.

By now, you're aware of how much of the Arthurian legend surfaces in this story, especially Uther who first comes across as a yarn-spinning old man. Most male characters are elderly, and the physical prowess is given to the women-- Ekhida, Vishpala, Valeriana, and Amanirena. I don't know if you've met Mungo the Obvious and his "royal family" yet; but this is a raising of the humble and poor to a heroic status. I'm very proud of this novel because it carries a fine message in such a humorous way.

I had no friends here on Authonomy (other than perhaps Jack Cerro), but I'm pleased to find another Arthurian buff. I've spent more than a decade trying to connect Arthur with a possible historical background. Much of the Legend appears to come from the steppes (the Grail, the sword in the stones, and especially Merlin). That's why I wrote Forging the Blade. But the DDB has real potential, a novel we humans particularly need at this point in time.

I would love to have you finish reading the novel. Send your email address to me at steppe.warrior@gmail.com and I will return a finished PDF. This is the "almost final" version. I'm accepting input and pulling typos until around the fist of Aug. When I finish the cover, the whole thing goes to Createspace. Thank you for backing it, especially since it's only on 14 bookshelves. Why it has risen steadily in the ranks, I have no idea.

Most sincerely,
A.J.

PS: Oh! By the way, I appear to be "online" all the time. I just don't check in and out... because I've forgotten my what-cha-ma-call-it. I'm penning from my work computer, and the my laptop with the PDF is at home.

Sharahzade wrote 694 days ago

THE DEMON'S DOOR BOLT (Part Two)
A. J. Campbell

Nine hours later and I have finished reading all you have given me. I was right after reading the first chapter. This is a brilliant piece of work. I am really speechless with awe over what you have accomplished. Threading in the entities of the past, done with delicious humor and subtlety makes of this a libretto so finely tuned it overcomes the reader. I just felt as if I could not stop reading. I laughed out loud so many times throughout. I congratulate you on this accomplishment of world building.

I would love to read more. I'll send you my e mail address if you would allow me to take you up on your offer.

Sincerely,

Mary Enck
A King in Time

Sharahzade wrote 695 days ago

THE DEMON'S DOOR BOLT
A. J. Campbell

Ah the gods must be guiding your gift for telling such a wonderous story. I long for the innocence of a land such as you describe. A place where one can drink in the essence of nature and bask in the luxury of the scenes you show us. Reading it gave me a sense of peace, contentment, the natural order of life and the simple pleasure of living with honor.

The opening lulled me into a reverie that foreshadows something to come that will displace all that exists at this moment in time. Why I feel that, I cannot say. It is all too perfect and the sort of story that makes me yearn for a time such as this. I believe you inspire courage from the beginning so that what may come will be met with valor.

Call it Fantasy, Science Fiction or just excellent story telling, I love the beginning of this novel and wish it were all here so I could set out on a quest along with you to the end. I intend to read all you have posted but I have seen enough to give you all the stars in my possession and back this beautiful introduction to your story.

With admiration, sincerely,

Mary Enck
A King in Time

Margaret Trevelyan wrote 695 days ago

I like what I have read so far. There is a real flavour of the passage of time in it and many colourful images and I aim to read moore soon. I find your narrative style easy to follow and the story just flows as a result. I think you will go really far with this. I think everyone has preconceptions and fears about the world ending and not necessarily rooted in the Bible. I like the character of Ekhida. She interests me, probably because, like most of us, I sometimes wonder what immortality would be like. Her conversation with the boy was natural and insightful. I will add to my w/l and try and find shelf space in the future. Good luck with it!

Steppe Warrior wrote 704 days ago

This book very Science Ficition. In the message you sent me you said that the book is very dark but give a good meaning or something like that. I agree sometimes things that are dark teaches us meaning about life. Keep up the good work.



Hi Danielle,

Forging the Blade is the "darker" of the two novels, and probably the most straight-forward historically and the more literary. The events actually happened in what is now Rumania. I thank you for putting it on your shelf, the only person who has.

The Demon's Door Bolt is much lighter, sometimes comical, even though it deals with a catastrophic subject. It also flows at a very fast pace. It might be "pulp" fiction, but the message is a good one. This one is ready for publishing; and I am now formatting it into a template for Createspace. I can thank Owen Quinn (here on Authonomy) and my son Jason for urging me on. Work on your own ms, don't give up, and give it all your love.

Most Sincerely,
A.J.

DThomas wrote 706 days ago

This book very Science Ficition. In the message you sent me you said that the book is very dark but give a good meaning or something like that. I agree sometimes things that are dark teaches us meaning about life. Keep up the good work.

Steppe Warrior wrote 708 days ago

It sort of gives me a new refreshed look on Science Fiction. Quite enjoyable. Continue the good work :)



Thanks, AunaJune

The good work needs to be done, simply because the DDB has an important message needed by all of us on this planet. Usually sci-fi dwells on other planets or in the future. I chose an early point in time and on Earth. We find three major dimensions: the Upper World, Hell, and Heaven... plus a fourth, the Purgatory of a self-serving Church. It's all about us, God, machines, and the soul, under the veil of action-adventure. I'm working on it daily. Just an old man's way of speaking the truth.

best,
A.J.

AunaJune wrote 709 days ago

It sort of gives me a new refreshed look on Science Fiction. Quite enjoyable. Continue the good work :)

Steppe Warrior wrote 709 days ago

Very Greek goddish. Like that Percy Jackson, but more sophisticated. Nice job. Dina of Last Degree and Halo of the Damned



BillyS,

Thanks for taking a look at the DDB. It was in the weekly top five until today and then it plummeted. I think someone dropped it from their shelf. A hard racket, this one. My best on yours.

A.J.

billysunday wrote 709 days ago

Very Greek goddish. Like that Percy Jackson, but more sophisticated. Nice job. Dina of Last Degree and Halo of the Damned

billysunday wrote 709 days ago

Very Greek goddish. Like that Percy Jackson, but more sophisticated. Nice job. Dina of Last Degree and Halo of the Damned

Steppe Warrior wrote 711 days ago

I rarely like prologues, but yours is effective. I wonder if all of it is necessary, though? Perhaps a slight trim would strengthen it? I feel your story really kicks off in chapter 1. I think the sooner we get to it, the better.

I usually keep track of suggestions, but I got caught up in the story, I had very few. I suggest limiting your use of exclamation points. There are quite a few in your prologue. You do a good job of avoiding unnecessary adverbs for the most part. Is "quickly" necessary? There were a few others here and there, so always check to make sure they strengthen your narrative. I'm not sure I agree with the science fiction label. It's much more fantasy in my opinion.



Joshua,

Thanks for the suggestions; some already applied. I know the prologue is weaker than chap.1 but I want to keep it. The interaction between Ekhida and the young hunter serves to introduce her and hints of a love interest. She will always think about him until they meet again. The prologue actually saves a lot of verbiage (no setup, no courtship). My goal is to keep this ms under 100,000 words.

It's historical in the presence of current world leaders of the period (year 500), but it gets science-fictiony when we tour Heaven, Purgatory, and Hell, and especially when the one-eyed men appear. I don't want to drop too many spoilers.

Best,
A.J

Joshua Jacobs wrote 711 days ago


Wow. What an imagination you have. It's obvious you've put a ton of thought into your world and the story you've developed. I'm intrigued!

There's a distinct voice in this. I love how it opens. It sets the perfect mood for a legendary story of epic proportion. It's well-executed, too. The sentences are tightly written and flow smoothly together.

My favorite aspect of this novel, though, is the premise. Not only is this the type of novel I love, but it's extremely marketable. I could see this one on bookshelves.

I rarely like prologues, but yours is effective. I wonder if all of it is necessary, though? Perhaps a slight trim would strengthen it? I feel your story really kicks off in chapter 1. I think the sooner we get to it, the better.

I usually keep track of suggestions, but I got caught up in the story, I had very few. I suggest limiting your use of exclamation points. There are quite a few in your prologue. You do a good job of avoiding unnecessary adverbs for the most part. Is "quickly" necessary? There were a few others here and there, so always check to make sure they strengthen your narrative. I'm not sure I agree with the science fiction label. It's much more fantasy in my opinion.

Minor typos: You need a period instead of a comma at the end of "He arose and stood straight." Same with, "She strode closer." This continues almost every time you use dialogue. Only use a comma when you're using a verb related to speech (i.e. said, asked, etc). At the same time, "He shrugged in simple trust" needs to begin with a capital for the same reason. Other than those minor mistakes, this is very well edited.

This is an excellent start, and I look forward to reading more. Highly rated! Great job!

CMTStibbe wrote 715 days ago

The Demon’s Door Bolt is a stunning book. It is so easy to visualize the setting and its unique characters. Master story-tellers and wordsmiths are hard to find especially in this age. I have missed such beautiful writing and authentic dialogue. High stars. This is definitely my type of read. On W/l until space comes available. Claire ~ Chasing Pharaohs.

Steppe Warrior wrote 715 days ago

Hm, AJ, I didn't have a lot of time, but this looks fantastic. I'll read more later - highly rated for now. :)



Monicque,

Thanks for the quick look. The DDB puts women in their place-- right at the kick-ass TOP. I hope you get a chance to start a read, perhaps finding a few laughs. Even Aunt Beatrice (stolen from Dante) wheels her weight around.

best,
A.J.

monicque wrote 716 days ago

Hm, AJ, I didn't have a lot of time, but this looks fantastic. I'll read more later - highly rated for now. :)

mrsdfwt wrote 718 days ago

After reading two chapters of "The Demon's Door Bolt", i came to the conclusion that this is definitely a different read for me, but i love it.
A boy becomes a man and kills a stag to feed many mouths.
A cursed immortal exclaims: 'Men!They're such frigging jerks.'
A horsebreaker wanders in the steppe, although he could live in a palace.
We witness bustling streets, mud-brick tenements, and hucksters pushing their wares.

This is a very challenging read and i must admit i can't wait to read further, although i would recommend copy editing it, especially the prologue.
The command of the English language is exquisite, and being a fan of Mythology in general, i find this read fascinating.
Six stars and placed in line for the shelf.
Maria
Dark of the Moon

viento wrote 720 days ago

Welcome to Authonomy A.J and you've had a great start! Love the pitch - just my sort of book : )

You're book is on my watchlist until I have a little time to give it the attention it deserves.

lizjrnm wrote 720 days ago

WOW! You have one gifted imagination! Cover is eye-catching an dthe pitch sells the book store browser. Id buy it so Im backing it for talented writing and a great storyline. Starred as well.

Liz
The Cheech Room

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