The iCode

I've really enjoyed this novel. It contains well developed characters who also clearly grow by the end.
The story also has a compelling plot and it was well written. More people ought to read and back it. This is a good read!

Karen,
I loved the first few chapters of the story. The character comes across strongly as she faces challenges with the situation she is placed into. It blends with the current time we are facing and has demonstrated the reality, although a story, which can happen. Over all, it is very engaging to read about the many possibilities of where technology can go in a fearful but wonderful way. Well done.

Millicent
Wings of an Eagle

Karen,
The read here is very easy and the story engaging. You know when to stop a sentence, have chosen what has become popular topics/concerns, and done a good job with bringing them to life. Very good work.
Steven Stucky
Fly at the Horizon

Very good dialogue, description, and characters. Oneworld is a book that comes to life from the page. It drew my attention and I find it very marvelous. I'm not much of a religious person, but I was not drawn away by this at all. I found this smart, clever and intellectually engaging and splendid. Your writing is powerful is something that needs to be experienced. Good job.

JC Whitfield-A Proclamation of Death

Thanks for the wonderful comment. As to my title, I've changed it to The iCode. Karen

I feel that www.OneWorld is a very interesting type of novel that is, for lack of a better word, quite novel. In a sense it blends the cyberpunk genre with a modern day story. It’s as if we took the Blade Runner world and wound back time a bit to see how the universe got into that state. Call it the dawn of the new cyber age I suppose. I’ve read a lot of cyberpunk type of books, but never have I found a novel that shows us the beginning of that type of world.

Beyond the excellent plot, author Karen Fullerton does a great job of bringing us into the story. Elizabeth is a very believable main character, savvy but not really with any special skills. She’s the girl next door and someone we want to root for when an ordinary person is brought into extraordinary circumstances.

The dialog is spot on, and acted as a bit of a treat every time it came up. All the characters are true to life, and seem to speak perfectly based on their personalities (when we have a chance to get to know them), social status and motivations. The pacing for the story is quite good, as it should be since this is kind of a historical cyber-thriller, and will keep readers interested.

The two suggestions I have are more marketing based than anything else. I would change the name of the book. The site at www.oneworld.com is currently owned by some type of airline booking company. What I would do is find a URL that is not being used, something like OneCyberWorldUnitedTogether or something like that, and change the name of the company in the book too, along with the title. Buy that URL and at the very least park it. But how great would it be if you put up a site that advertised the book there? Agents I think would find that really slick, and when the book was published, you would get a popular URL to boot where you could promote yourself, sell advertising or whatever you wanted. Secondly, I would push the years back just a bit. It will probably take longer than two years to get this book published, and you want the action to be in the future, if the near future, though this could easily be changed later as needed.

This is a very good read and I’m excited to see how things turn out.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

Karen. The effort you have put into building your characters. the effort you have invested into getting the start of this book right. The pre writing stage you have worked so hard on is all now paying massive dividends. This feels so comfortably right. Superb flow, brill descriptions, I loved it and can see this doing so well. Thank you for allowing me to read it and good look Karen.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you??
Many thanks. Sean

Karen you have a good story here. It's smooth, flows nicely and is fast-paced. You should go far! I'm going to read more as time permits It's a good job!
God bless!!!
Elizabeth Kathleen
"If Children are Cheaper by the Dozen, Can I Get a Discount on Six?"

The ICode,
the very futuristic and interesting story. But I doubt, 2018 is too close to the story line( It's just my feeling) I like the concept of One world Company as long as it is not owned by private entrepreneurs( may be controlled by fully secured super computer!!!). In fact I am a supporter of the idea of being everybody and everything is chipped. that brings greater harmony and order on this planet. You have shown mastery of dialogue and justified pace. Highly starred and on W/L. on the way to my shelf by next reshuffle.

venkatarama
Ozoneraser

Very good! You put the reader inside of Elizabeth's mind and thoughts, it has humor despite her anxiety.
Look forward to reading more.
Christine

Hi Karen,
I have started reading your book and am on page 5. You have a great beginning everyone can identify with and being from the Midwest myself I even get the tornado. Interesting way to start with a temp job and a discovery that will change the world. Great development for the plot and looking forward to reading more. High stars!

Roslyn
"I Am" Through the Ages, for your seeking heart
Scribe-Lings, for your child like heart

I've really enjoyed this novel. It contains well developed characters who also clearly grow by the end.
The story also has a compelling plot and it was well written. More people ought to read and back it. This is a good read!

Thank you for letting me know that you had uploaded more chapters. Since I've already written a review, I won't say much more except that I really enjoyed Part II. It answered a lot of questions for me and, to me, read more smoothly than Part I. Good work!

Karen,
I read the first chapter and don't have time to read more because I'm still learning the ropes of Authonomy. But, I would like to read more. You build the suspense very well. I want to know whether she will get in trouble for the extra brochures and why she doesn't get a break. I want to know what is really going on in the mysterious company and how her dreams connect. So far, the story also flows very well.

Katiera Pfeister
Secrets in the Land of Cheese

Ok not bad. The premise is good---I think the writing is a little heavy--in some places you have too much exposition, esp. in the beginning. You should cut out some sentences, reduce the number of words, ant it will be more succinct. I have this problem too---writing too much---but what I do, and I find that this helps, is to go through maybe four or five chapters a day, depending on how long the chapters are, and I vow to myself to cut out a certain amount of words from those chapters--like for ex by the end of my editing for the day, my goal might be to reduce the number of words by 2 or 3k. and I work really hard to do that, and let me tell you, my one book that was about 120-something thousand words was cut down to about 55k. Yea, I know, ridiculous, but it made the writing crisper, which is what all books needs.

woah, bad sp last post haha sry *illuminated*

I think the first sentence should be "In my dream, an illumanted..."

This is an imaginative, creative, well-written story. I did read all 14 of your uploaded chapters and this is an interesting,though fictional, account of the coming of the anti-Christ and the one world order.

I do have a couple of questions/suggestions, but it's not about your writing style. As far as I can tell, your writing is flawless. Your plot moves at a nice pace and your dialogue is natural and authentic for this inventive account of the approach of end times.

Although this is fictional, I'm wondering if you don't want to keep it as close to reality as possible? Elizabeth's prophetic dreams and the visual appearance of the angels, while I believe that God talks to us through dreams some times as well as the actual warfare between angels and devils, the explicitness of Elizabeth's dream and the physical appearance of angels, George GoForth, etc., makes the story more a fantasy than a realistic projection of what might happen. If, however, your intention for the story is to read as a fantasy, then the explicit dreams/visions and physically appearing angels are very appropriate.

I wondered too about Bud. He's a nicely drawn character but, wow, his feelings for Elizabeth are really shallow if he dismisses her as easily as he does! In fact, with his plans to go off with Alex and his total rejection of Elizabeth, so easily made, caused me to wonder if he's a homosexual? Is this your intent for future chapters? If so, then his earlier physical attraction to Elizabeth doesn't fit into that plot line.

Your villains are appropriately evil and depraved: Mrs. Strand, Michael Chase, and Mr. Gordon; and your good guys are very likeable: Mr. Roberts, John Matthews, Pastor Brian Williams (although I didn't like Bud, even though he worked for the FBI, after he dumped Elizabeth so brusquely). The court room scenes are nicely written and enable you to share your testimony really well. I do like Elizabeth struggling with her "sin" although, even as a Christian, I don't really see what she did as a sin but, if she felt it were, then her struggle was appropriately written.

Because of it's writing style, I'd also like to suggest that you target your book to younger audiences. I think stories such as this need to be available for young people and future generations to counteract much that is accepted in our today's culture. I think the Lord will really use your story with adolescents, ages 12-15 especially and I'd like to see them emphasized as the readers for whom your book is written so that it will more assuredly get into their hands.

As a middle-school age and younger adolescent novel, this, I think, will become a very popular book once it's published and will be used by the Lord to really meet a need! Your insights and faith are so apparent in your work and the truth simply shines even through your fictional writing. Good work. You have my prayers and best wishes for the publication and success of your book!

Sincerely,
Patricia Laster
Breaking Free

Karen,
I loved the first few chapters of the story. The character comes across strongly as she faces challenges with the situation she is placed into. It blends with the current time we are facing and has demonstrated the reality, although a story, which can happen. Over all, it is very engaging to read about the many possibilities of where technology can go in a fearful but wonderful way. Well done.

Millicent
Wings of an Eagle

Karen,
The read here is very easy and the story engaging. You know when to stop a sentence, have chosen what has become popular topics/concerns, and done a good job with bringing them to life. Very good work.
Steven Stucky
Fly at the Horizon

I found this to be very entertaining and though provoking. Thanks for the great read.

This is a very well written novel. I also enjoyed the main characters and how they developed. I encourage everyone to read this book.

The writing is good and the story holds your attention. I like the length of the chapter it was good. I think that the storytelling was a little too like story telling instead of like a book. It needed a better flow. The last sentence wasn't a hook to make you want to go to the next chapter but really you don't need one because the book is interesting enough that you want to go on anyway.

I think that you did a good job, this is a good start.

Abby

I just finished reading your chapters, and I think this book was written well. I like Elizabeth, who seems relatable, as she battles inside with wanting to stand up for what she believes in at first, and then begins to take some stands later on in the chapters. I like how Bud and Elizabeth's romance developed slowly over time, and yet when they break up I'm left wondering what will happen to them, whether or not Bud will become involved in the New World Order, or come back to her. I actually think the quick, short dialogue in places work well with this sort of story, as it deals with computer chips, the high tech world and futuristic thinking. It fits very well leaving a less emotional mood and technical feel. I liked how Elizabeth's dad used the courtroom Bible to defend himself. I think you did well with this book! Best wishes!

Kara
A Gate Called Beautiful

I read through ch. 3. This is a great end times story. You've built up suspense quite skillfully, with Elizabeth nervous about going to this temp job, the stern woman at work watching over her like a hawk, Elizabeth finding the computer files and taking them, and then the storm. I think your story moves along smoothly, and I followed along very easily. I liked your story! Best wishes, Kara A Gate Called Beautiful

I like your ideas. But, your writing is not smooth. In fact its choppy. I think you need to improve it.
Best Wishes
Daniel

Hi, Karen: Enjoyed your story. It's very fitting for this day and age, It seems to me that, perhaps a few closer encounters with the baddies might make it a bit more exciting, but a great plot about good and evil, very well told and follows along with Biblical Prophecy as I understand it. I am looking forward to the rest of the story.

Wishing you the best: Henry E Allen----Before the Beginning

You have a good grasp of the first person and it was very easy to relate to the main character. Your description is very good, especially as the setting is quite intimating. My one feeling was that perhaps you jumped into essential clues too soon as in places it can read rushed but those scenes never hindered the actual story. The concept is thrilling and original, can't wait to read more!

Hi Karen,

I have read through chapter four of iCode now and have been enjoying getting to know your characters and watching a relationship grow between Bud and Elizabeth. It adds a lot of fun to an otherwise disturbing situation. As I was reading, I kept thinking, “since a one-world government and banking system is prophesied, can and should man do anything to stop it? Wouldn’t it be better time spent if Christian tekkies design programs to dupe the system in order to protect the remnant?” I’m curious how you will handle this dilemma.

Strangely enough, I was a computer programmer for a very large grocery store chain before I had kids and the thought did occur to me then that I had the power to write code that would make exceptions in specific situations. Right or wrong, there was a tempting thought that if worse came to worse, I would change the code to protect the mistreated Christian. Just like the Dutch resistance in WWII, God will provide help in the tribulation.

Karen, you have done a wonderful job, giving the reader a glimpse into the future and perhaps preparing those for what lies ahead. Six stars.

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

Decoding the iCode chapter 26. You start on Pizza then move on to bookshop where you read a book in foreign language but for some strange reason, although foreign it was legible to you, then you saw your professor becaue you want to decode the iCode. Then your session was interrupted with the repairing of the computer. The mentioned excite me but I got more excited when you mentioned the iCorp, iCon and iCode. You must have guess it by now, I am fixated on the "i"

It looks like you have a good plot going on right here.

There are a couple things thought I thought I would suggest. One it that the very first paragraph is hard to read. It seems to be choppy or too much use of some of the words. Secondly, you have a tendency like I do, you use AND way too much. I did that to in my first draft. It is a common words we like to use. I am sure you can use less or other words instead.
Just small things

Otherwise your pitch and title are very well creative to grab the reader.
Good work.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Please take a look at my Christian pirate adventure Driving Winds.

Hi Karen,
I've had your book on my W/L and finally started reading. The storyline gripped me immediately, probably because of your pitch. It is of course, prophetically relevant for Christians, but also would appeal to the world community as fascinating science fiction, if nothing more.
Your voice is calm, measured and precise, which, given the alien environment of the One World Company, causes a tension to rise in the reader, in anticipation of the unknown. Very well done.
Your writing is clear, simple, easy to read and understand and well edited. I have given you six stars.

Kerrie Price
THE GOD PLEASERS 40 day Study Guide

Hi Karen,

I’ve seen your book around the Christian genre and thought I would check it out. You are a very gifted writer and have used your talent to produce a thriller of the prophetic kind. The subject you are broaching, no doubt has been in the minds of Christians and people of other faiths ever since the first computers were made for personal use. I think its great that you are addressing the thrust of Revelation chapter thirteen in a “what if” way. If anything, it creates an intriguing story and I love the premise of it.

As I read, I noticed something that you might want to consider. Perhaps not all your readers will be familiar with the risk that a microprocessor under the skin might pose. I think it might be helpful if you would explain in Elizabeth’s thoughts why she is skeptical - what the risk is as it pertains to bible prophecy (discrimination, exclusion, or worse…)

You did such a wonderful job setting the scene inside and outside the One World business. I was able to envision the work place as well as the patrons.

I really like Elizabeth. She’s bright - not a pushover. And according to your pitch, she’s going to have to be one tough cookie. I was surprised that she’s 49 and still living with her parents. Is that right or did I misjudge that?

Karen, I know I only read the tip of the ice berg. But what I read I really liked. May God bless you in all your writing endeavors. Highly starred!

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

The iCode!!!! I keep coming back for more. The name alone made me smile. I would buy this book on the title alone

Your story is interesting. It was fast paced and kept my attention. I liked your character. She was true to life. You are a good writer with a great idea. Good luck. Rated High. Lacy

Backed.
Hope you'll read mine, I can use some feedback

ONE WORLD
This is a book which is written in an easy to easy style. It’s also easy for a reader to sympathize with Elizabeth because we’ve all spent a first day on a job and know how frustrating things like a security clearance can be. I’m adding this to my shelf, Wannabeawriter. http://www.authonomy.com/books/38214/who-killed-the-president-/

I hope you do well with this though I didn't find it easy to get into. The writing seemed not to flow in an ingaging way for me. Sorry.

Karen, I like the dialogue. You know a F1 from a F4 or 5 being from Oklahoma. I'd start the novel with a F4 or F5 tornado. Nothing like a lot of action for the first several pages of a novel to get the reader in the mood. Show the wind, blacken clouds, flying objects, and your heroine struggling to stay alive. Then, go back to earlier in the day at the One World Company. I'd use God's power of nature verses the man made nefarious power of a world power. I've read the first three chapter. I like the back story love development of Bud and Elizabeth. Good story! I'll put you on my watch list for now until space opens up on my shelf.

David Schild

Hi Karen,

I’ve read your first chapter and while I see the potential of a good story here, I couldn’t fully appreciate it as I’d like to. I was distracted mostly by the uneven flow of the writing. I’m not going to list everything, but I’ll give you the first paragraph as an example;

‘Lately, (no comma needed) life had become quite a challenge.’ Why? This needs to be expanded, and in it’s own paragraph if necessary. Also, there are no obvious links between any of the sentences in this paragraph, or explanations as to why there are said/written. Why did the car wreck make her anxious? And perhaps write ‘However, I was thankful to be newly employed etc, etc.’ so there is a link between the last two sentences.

Something I find helpful is reading it aloud, or having someone else read it to you. It can be useful for picking out hidden errors.

These are just a couple of suggestions that I think might help make it flow a little more smoothly. I hope this helps. I’ve added your book to my watchlist and I will be back to read more soon.

- Charlotte Elise.

Just had a glance at the premise and liked it. Will read further and comment!

You have a refreshing style that's eloquent and captivating. You transport the reader with ease, keeping the pages turning with an intriguing story and great dialogue. Backed with pleasure.
Laurence Howard, The Cross of Goa

Very impressive beginning that pulls the reader in instantly. Mrs Strand is a tough woman to work for. Her character comes out brilliantly. Elizabeth is well described too. Your writing is excellent. I am hoping to return to read more soon. For now I fully rated your work. Good luck.

Please give your thoughts on Water Goblin
Daniela

Hi Karen,

I just read your book excerpt and found many of my comments have been posted by other reviewers.

Pros: The working title is interesting and eye-catching; consider completing the website address and make it your book or author website (e.g. .com, .net, .org). The premise and characters are believable.

Cons: There are some grammatical mistakes and awkward sentences (e.g. "in which..."; prolific use of adverbs). I found the flow a bit choppy. Consider increasing the length and content of the short sentences to improve the flow.

Your book shows promise! I wish you the best of luck.

Deb
The Cave of Time: http://www.authonomy.com/books/33822/the-cave-of-time/

Karen,
I checked out you book, ONE WORLD. I liked it, so I backed it. Please check out my novel, DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS FOR your possible backing. Thank you in advance.

Dwain-Thomas

Very good dialogue, description, and characters. Oneworld is a book that comes to life from the page. It drew my attention and I find it very marvelous. I'm not much of a religious person, but I was not drawn away by this at all. I found this smart, clever and intellectually engaging and splendid. Your writing is powerful is something that needs to be experienced. Good job.

JC Whitfield-A Proclamation of Death

Dear Karen,

Too much detail and rather slow in places, no shadows or creaking doors, nothing to get your teeth into. The content could do with building up a little and sags in parts. All in all a decent story. Good luck.

Check out 'Island Of Dreams'

Regards Eddie

As a born-again Christian i find your storyline very interesting and 'prophetic'...i feel something very similar will indeed happen. I see someone has already mentioned 'The Left Behind' series. I have only read the first 2 chapters and found it to be somewhat slow and matter of fact and in no way dynamic like the 'Left Behind 'series. Maybe it might grip me a bit more as i get into the furtther chapters so for the time being i will put on my watch-list.

Karen, the title of your book is very attractive. It will draw more readers' attention. I think you should keep this if this is what you like.
BP

It sounds real, You write and interesting story that people never can imagine. It seems to me you have a psychic vision as you are the second person who says this. I am going to read the rest of your story now. BACKED
BP

Hi Karen. I liked the promise of the story and what will come later. Although you said you had edited I noticed a couple of things but editing your own work isn't easy. However you have now amended errors and if I find any more I shall let you know.

All in all though it looks like it is going to be a good story and I swish you the very best with it

Wow! I had a good read with the first chapter of your book. It's a great storyline you have there!! I'll keep it on my bookshelf. You have my full backing, ride on!

Thanks for the wonderful comment. As to my title, I've changed it to The iCode. Karen

I feel that www.OneWorld is a very interesting type of novel that is, for lack of a better word, quite novel. In a sense it blends the cyberpunk genre with a modern day story. It’s as if we took the Blade Runner world and wound back time a bit to see how the universe got into that state. Call it the dawn of the new cyber age I suppose. I’ve read a lot of cyberpunk type of books, but never have I found a novel that shows us the beginning of that type of world.

Beyond the excellent plot, author Karen Fullerton does a great job of bringing us into the story. Elizabeth is a very believable main character, savvy but not really with any special skills. She’s the girl next door and someone we want to root for when an ordinary person is brought into extraordinary circumstances.

The dialog is spot on, and acted as a bit of a treat every time it came up. All the characters are true to life, and seem to speak perfectly based on their personalities (when we have a chance to get to know them), social status and motivations. The pacing for the story is quite good, as it should be since this is kind of a historical cyber-thriller, and will keep readers interested.

The two suggestions I have are more marketing based than anything else. I would change the name of the book. The site at www.oneworld.com is currently owned by some type of airline booking company. What I would do is find a URL that is not being used, something like OneCyberWorldUnitedTogether or something like that, and change the name of the company in the book too, along with the title. Buy that URL and at the very least park it. But how great would it be if you put up a site that advertised the book there? Agents I think would find that really slick, and when the book was published, you would get a popular URL to boot where you could promote yourself, sell advertising or whatever you wanted. Secondly, I would push the years back just a bit. It will probably take longer than two years to get this book published, and you want the action to be in the future, if the near future, though this could easily be changed later as needed.

This is a very good read and I’m excited to see how things turn out.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

The first chapter is intriguing and I want to know more but I feel publishers would be put off by the number of errors. There are extra commas all over the place and sometimes other mistakes such as in the last sentence in the first paragraph of chapter one. It should be two sentences but since you also repeat yourself I feel it would be better condensed into one. I'll be keeping this on my watchlist as I'd like to know what happens but I won't read any more until the grammar is better: it's too hard to get past the mistakes and it's doing my head in since my concentration isn't great.

I'm very sorry - but I didn't get past the first paragraph. There were too many typos - a missing word, missing full-stops and so on. I also found the pitch boring...sorry. I honestly felt, from reading the pitch, that this was a kids book - but you haven't put that as the genre.

I have just attempted to read further but paragraph 2 finished it for me. You can't say you've "reached" the age of foty-whatever but "looked" much younger....and there was an odd comma mixed it with it too.

I hate to be so negative but the manuscript needs a careful proofing before I would even consider trying again.

I feel that www.OneWorld is a very interesting type of novel that is, for lack of a better word, quite novel. In a sense it blends the cyberpunk genre with a modern day story. It’s as if we took the Blade Runner world and wound back time a bit to see how the universe got into that state. Call it the dawn of the new cyber age I suppose. I’ve read a lot of cyberpunk type of books, but never have I found a novel that shows us the beginning of that type of world.

Beyond the excellent plot, author Karen Fullerton does a great job of bringing us into the story. Elizabeth is a very believable main character, savvy but not really with any special skills. She’s the girl next door and someone we want to root for when an ordinary person is brought into extraordinary circumstances.

The dialog is spot on, and acted as a bit of a treat every time it came up. All the characters are true to life, and seem to speak perfectly based on their personalities (when we have a chance to get to know them), social status and motivations. The pacing for the story is quite good, as it should be since this is kind of a historical cyber-thriller, and will keep readers interested.

The two suggestions I have are more marketing based than anything else. I would change the name of the book. The site at www.oneworld.com is currently owned by some type of airline booking company. What I would do is find a URL that is not being used, something like OneCyberWorldUnitedTogether or something like that, and change the name of the company in the book too, along with the title. Buy that URL and at the very least park it. But how great would it be if you put up a site that advertised the book there? Agents I think would find that really slick, and when the book was published, you would get a popular URL to boot where you could promote yourself, sell advertising or whatever you wanted. Secondly, I would push the years back just a bit. It will probably take longer than two years to get this book published, and you want the action to be in the future, if the near future, though this could easily be changed later as needed.

This is a very good read and I’m excited to see how things turn out.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven