Relentless Hartt

I read the first chapter and was completely drawn in, in spite of the cat sitting on my lap and tapping my arm for attention. (I did pet her.) What a great flow there is to your narrative, and Lexi is a likable character who I found realistic and sympathetic. GREAT plot. GREAT writing. Highly rated and watchlisted. I hope your sales are doing well on Kindle. They deserve to be. All the best, and I will be back for more. JKinkade

This has winner written all over it. I couldn't stop reading. You don't waste time getting the reader involved...pregnant women will do that in crime thrillers...nice one! I agree with Andi: No mistakes and the work is ready for publication. Cheers,

Good luck!
Dwayne Kavanagh
A Killer's Kind

I'm really enjoying this book so far, added to my watchlist :)

I loved this chap. It was short and dear and had some great emotion in it. The start was sensational with the first paragraph being about a woman and her fetus inside her womb. I LOVED the idea, which was really real, that the woman connected with her future baby more than the father. It's just something that happens. The mother is the one who is bringing it into this world so she has sooooo much more responsibilities that the man does. Perfect. And the end with the priest was a nice clean finish to the chapter. I don't really have anything bad to say. 6 stars, mostly just for the ideas that I mentioned and the easy to read writing. Can't back you now because I just changed my entire shelf and I want to give them more than a couple of days.

I love the length of the prologue and first chapter(You list it as Wednesday, Authonomy lists it at Ch 2). I am horrible at creating chapters that are way too long and you have been able to give just enough to keep the reader wanting more. I love Lexi's character. I think she is well developed and that the reader has much in store with her. It's late here...but I will be back for more when I am more awake and not so tired from work! Your writing holds a lot of promise for things to come. Good luck with it and thanks for commenting on Maddy Hatfield and the Magic Locket!

Best,

Ashley

I can't believe you let them get away! Lol. This is really awesome!

Very well written - enthralling plot. The dialogue is very script, and gives one the impression the author has a background in law. Backed with pleasure.

Meg Wearing
A Shamrock on the Prairie

At first, I was thinking Denzil Washington and Julia Roberts, then maybe Jamie Foxx and Rachel McAdams, but in the end I plumped for Forrest Whittaker and Nicole Kidman as Cal Lemmon and Lexi Hartt.

Monica ... what a book! What a story. Just what I like, gritty down-to-earth characters, a plot which keeps me guessing right up to the end with more twists and turns than you'll find in a Florida theme park.

I love it when a writer is writing about something they know. You are an Attorney, you're main character is an Attorney. Straight away that tells me I can be confident that all the legal facts and procedure will be 100% accurate so I don't have to worry or check out anything.

I don't know if you've submitted this to agents; if not, why not? I notice others have touched on the fact that it appears to be ready for publication. I certainly believe it's ready for an agent to basically tell you, 'Yes, we think it's marketable, we'll represent you.' I'm sure their editors would spot the few cliches, couple of typos, and few times you put speech marks around her thoughts, but hey, that's what a proofreader is for.

I loved that bit where Lexi says to Katrina, 'John Lennon? Princess Diana?' the very subjects of my two books.
I loved the tension in the courtroom scenes, too. It was good when she called to see her mum and had the conversation with her dad. He knew he'd been a prat and that his daughter was more than worthy, the hand on the shoulder briefly covered by his own spoke of a deeply buried love and respect for each other.

In conclusion, I have just spent the past eight hours reading from chapter 9 and it takes a real gripping, and interesting book to do that for me. I'd have spent another eight hours if there were more.

I'm glad to see you've made a start on my book and Sam Walsh has drawn you in. It's okay, he seems to have that effect on women. Hope you enjoy the rest.

I'm glad I've had this on my shelf and I've no hesitation in giving it six stars.

Gary Sweeney Some Time In New York.

I really enjoyed this. I'm not a huge fan of a prologue but yours is so tender and really sets the tone for the novel. I found myself drawn in completely. Lexi is a very clever creation. Great MC, strong and ambitious but very likeable. I find myself cheering on her bravado. Your flow is a cut above the rest, one sentence just glides into the next and carriers the reader along effortlessly. I can't find fault here, maybe the odd cliché but for me that's more a smack of familiarity than a stutter in the flow.

Janny

Monica. I have read the first six chapters and I'm well into this one. I love Lexi and there's lots of tension building with the religious sect angle - I can just tell they are going to be trouble. I'm glad the entire novel is uploaded as I will definitely read the rest.

The only things I found which you can easily address is a number of cliches.
Organized chaos
Not pull any punches
Tail tucked between his legs
Heart of gold
In over her head
Rough around the edges
Beat him to the punch
Some people may disagree with some of these but as soon as I read these, my 'cliche alarm' rang.

I was going to mention about the word 'check' but remembered that you are from America and this is how you write it. As you probably know, us Brits use the french 'cheque'.

This will remain on my shelf until I've completed it.

Gary Sweeney Some Time In New York

Hi Monica. I like the look of this. Happy to back it and I'll have a read and leave my feedback as soon as I can.

I have you on my watchlist!

I read the first chapter and was completely drawn in, in spite of the cat sitting on my lap and tapping my arm for attention. (I did pet her.) What a great flow there is to your narrative, and Lexi is a likable character who I found realistic and sympathetic. GREAT plot. GREAT writing. Highly rated and watchlisted. I hope your sales are doing well on Kindle. They deserve to be. All the best, and I will be back for more. JKinkade

Dear Monica,
I was very impressed with the three chapters i read. Love the tenderness of motherhood in the prologue, and enjoyed reading about the new lawyer in town. Lexi is an interesting character and the whole plot sort of reminded me of the Ally Mcbeal series. Very upbeat and fun.
I'm going to sprinkle this with ***** stars, on the strength of your writing.
Best,
Maria
Dark of the Moon

Great prologue and first chapter. Very readable.
Hoping to read more soon and considering backing it.
Paul

So far, I’ve read the prologue and chapters one through four; unfortunately, I can’t offer any advice as I didn’t spot anything. The story is engaging and - as others have noted - polished. The voice is relaxed and consistent, which ensures an easy read. But that doesn’t mean that your characters, especially Lexi, lack depth – they are well rounded. I will read on; I only paused to comment and shelve.

This has winner written all over it. I couldn't stop reading. You don't waste time getting the reader involved...pregnant women will do that in crime thrillers...nice one! I agree with Andi: No mistakes and the work is ready for publication. Cheers,

Good luck!
Dwayne Kavanagh
A Killer's Kind

Monica,
"Relentless Hart" dogging the footsteps of a young female lawyer out to prove herself in a profession dominated by men, not the least of whom is her successful father, is an intriguing read. Lexi's challenges, one after the other like the trials of Hercules, threaten to trip her up but she prevails winning sympathy votes all around, including mine. You have a clearcut writing style that bears well in the narrative and shows effectively in dialogue. Thank you for the time well spent.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

Backed Relentless Hartt. I am not an author or writer. But know a good story when I read one. I like a book with a prologue. The plot kept me guessing. Your book was recommended by CC Brown author of Dark Side. Read, liked, star rated, and backed. Hope you will find a place on your shelf for their book.
Rog50

The way we are dropped directly into her head from the get-go is very effective as we see into her thoughts. It's especially important for the scenario you've developed. I am so intrigued by this because she's accused of killing her husband, yet nothing from her perspective indicates she'd do such a thing. What a hook! Well played.

The bit at the end of the chapter about "Katrina" was intriguing as well. There's a lot of mystery in the sentence "That's why he kept her closer than most--she was special to him." Who is this person?? Now I have to read more just to find out.

Once the first chapter begins and we're in Lexi's perspective, this gets even stronger. You've developed a realistic situation again by dropping us directly into her mind. Very quickly we come to realize she doesn't have much business. And her plight is one readers will easily connect with. She's quite the underdog out to prove herself; you just captured yourself a huge reader base. Even as a male reader, I connected easily with her.

There's also a nice subtle humor to this (i.e. "'Alexis J. Hartt, Attorney at Law,' but, Lexi reflected sourly, it might as well have read, 'Police Line--Do Not Cross,' or 'Danger--Condemned Building.'" Also: "Congratulations, your husband has died."). I wouldn't mind more of this voice. It's great.

I love the way you've taken an ordinary murder mystery and worked in the Joy Coalition. Holy crap, I'm intrigued.

Your writing is outstanding. You have a natural flow to your sentences that is easy-to-read yet compelling.

On a side note, I love that this takes place in Chandler. I live in Chandler. I didn't think people even knew about this place! :)

Suggestions: In the prologue, be sure to vary your paragraph starters. You start four paragraphs in a row with "she." You never give a name to "she" at the beginning of the prologue, so it's a bit confusing. Is this your main character Sheldon, or is this Katrina from the scene break? I'm sure this is cleared up later, but you might specify to avoid the confusion.

Typos: The comma in the sentence "He nodded, and asked to have..." isn't necessary.

I usually try to catch more typos and include more suggestions, but I got too caught up in the story. This is one of the most ready-to-publish stories I've come across on authonomy, and I'm excited to read more! Highly recommended and highly rated!

Hi Monica,
Very clever! And what a good read – well worthy of publication. I read it all in one sitting as I just needed to find out what happened.
You’re very good at drawing the reader in without them really becoming aware of it. It’s much more subtle than a giant cliff hanger at the end of every chapter but it works nonetheless. A few chapters in, that’s it, there was no way I was not finishing it. And then there are the twists and turns and, my, aren’t they are brilliant? Some of them I guessed correctly but the twists kept coming, kept making me second guess and I loved that they did. Of course, I didn’t see the very end coming at all. Excellent.
I have only one suggestion to make. Pretty much the entirety of Lexi’s scenes are written so that the reader sees and knows only what Lexi sees and knows. The reader is experiencing what she is experiencing and it works really well. Then in Chapter 12, out of the blue, you start to use a different perspective and we’re suddenly seeing bits that Lexi is not seeing. I find it’s just not in keeping with the rest of the book and think a few phrases detract from far more than they add to your work. I really would suggest you consider removing parts of the following.
“Lexi was so deep in thought she did not notice that she was being followed by an old white Chevy Corsica with a missing hubcap. Nor did she notice the vehicle parking under a tree at the far end of the jail facility parking lot after she pulled in.”
“She had no reason to notice that the Chevy Corsica was no longer in sight.”
“She told Lily she’d call her later, then raced back to her office, oblivious to the white Corsica following closely behind her.”
Other than that, I thought this pretty much a perfect thriller crime novel.
Really, this is great stuff and I hope you go onto even greater things.
Best

Hi Monica,

I have just one question: Why a girl named Sheldon?

And other than that -nothing! No punctuation errors, no grammatical mistakes, but more than that, no suggestions on content! This is superb! Reads like the best of Sue Grafton of Sara Paretsky -my mystery heroines. You've got it all - plot, character, suspense. I'm giving you a whopping six stars, and I will back you next, in the next couple of days.

And now, for your reading pleasure, I give you, ta da- Animal Cracker! Would appreciate a return reading and backing if you see fit.

Best,
Andi

A very promising story, and well written. Backed.