Book Jacket

 

rank 5847
word count 28786
date submitted 12.07.2011
date updated 22.03.2012
genres: Fiction, Young Adult
classification: universal
complete

New Alliances

Noelle J. Alabaster

Angela Ross: a lieutenant in the SCPD and Miss Justice's . . . partner?

 

Crimefighting, her friends, her social life, and now eleventh grade are taking up all of Joy's time. Then a surprise encounter smacks her in the face: Joy meets Lieutenant Angela Ross and is stunned by her offer. And slightly angered.
Miss Justice doesn't need a partner--or does she? Is this the first step towards a friendly relationship with the law? Or is the whole thing a trap, to finally capture the shadow that can't be caught?

Book 2 of Justice for All.

 
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tags

crimefighter, criminal, detecive, fighting, fights, gang, gangsters, helping, justice, lieutenant, orphan, pardon, partner, police, races, running, si...

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Chapters

11

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Nighttime Fireworks

Joy was alone. Alone in an extremely flammable farmhouse rigged to explode, on a deserted farm twenty miles in the middle of nowhere. Not a pleasant situation, to say the least.

Her heart was thumping as her fingers tore at the knots of her bonds. All throughout her conversation with the three members of the Sisters gang, Joy had been working on the knots that stubbornly stood between her and freedom. She looked over at the tiny red numbers that ticked away her life’s last minutes.

If I could just reach the knife in my belt! The ropes are so dry the sharp blade would make quick work of them!

She frowned, her straining fingers unable to reach her belt, lying on a nearby table—right next to the bomb.

She bit her lip and frowned fiercely. Okay, J, use that brilliant mind of yours! You’ve only got ninety seconds to get out of here!

Her thoughts racing, Joy scanned the room for something, anything to help her escape. Her eyes fell on an old bedside table made of decaying maple.

That lamp on the table! If I could figure out how to break it, I could use the glass to cut the ropes! My gloves should protect my fingers from the sharp edges. It might just work . . .

She jerked her body roughly and managed to scoot the chair a few inches over. She bit her lip in concern as the red numbers on the bomb read one minute to go. This is taking too long! she thought frantically, fear wrapping its icy-cold fingers around her heart.

But a will to live overcame her fear, and Joy managed to push the chair over to the table holding the precious glass lamp.

She picked it up gingerly, the ropes cutting into her wrists as she strained to reach up and out. Then she took a deep breath and smashed the lamp down on the edge of the table.

Glass flew everywhere. Joy winced as a large piece sailed past and nearly cut her cheek. But she was unharmed, and her sensitive fingers could almost grab a large, thick shard of glass just out of reach. She glanced at the red numbers. Forty-five seconds. As she finally was able to cautiously pick up the glass pieces, it crossed her mind that The Sisters’ members were not quite as sweet as their name led you to believe.

The sharp, jagged glass made quick work of the dusty, old ropes; and just as Joy had predicted, her thick leather gloves protected her fingers admirably.

She gave a cry of delight as the ropes snapped and her hands were freed. But the excitement she felt was quickly drenched as the flashing numbers read thirty seconds. Thirty seconds of life left, unless she hurried. It hardly seemed fair.

Miss Justice slashed at the ropes binding her ankles and cut through them roughly, her fingers trembling slightly as adrenaline and fear collided deep inside her.

Finally her ankles were free . . . but there was no time to lose. She glanced at the detonator’s timer, ticking away Joy’s precious few seconds. Ten more beeps, and she was toast. She wondered if she could disable the bomb, but quickly dismissed the thought. No time to disable it! A few more seconds and I’m gonna look like a jigsaw puzzle. Gotta get out of here!

Time seemed go by in slow motion. Joy grabbed her belt and slammed her shoulder into the rotting door, ignoring the pain of bone crashing into wood. It swung open after two tries and she ran down the stairs, tripping and almost falling down the last five in her hurry. Then she shoved open the front door, ran across the porch, and jumped down the porch steps.

She was about eighteen or twenty yards away when the bomb went off.

The resulting explosion was quite a sight to behold. The barn went up in flames. The dry grass nearby caught on fire. The haystack was consumed by licking flames and reduced to cinders in moments. Windows shattered and glass flew everywhere. Wood splinters flew through the air like deadly miniature spears. The force of the explosion threw Joy a dozen yards into the side of an old, rotting tool shed standing lopsidedly in the sinister shadows.

She hit the ground limply and lay still as the inferno behind her reached its flaming fingers high into the dark night sky.

 

Chapters

11

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ghart98 wrote 489 days ago

YARG Review,
Noelle, You've done it again! The book is getting more and more Suspensefull. I've got a feeling that Miss Joy has met her match in this one. Keep the pace up!

Su Dan wrote 493 days ago

your use of narrative and dialogue work well; you marry them together with skillfull ease.
backed.
read SEASONS...

Jacoba wrote 546 days ago

Hi Noelle,
A YARG review.
I read some of your first book in this series and this seems to follow on really well. You give just enough information that a new reader could easily pick this one up and get into the story.
I like the way you write descriptions just enough detail to give the reader a picture of your characters without bogging them down in detail.
All the characters are well draw and interesting. The first two chapters have enough hooks to keep the reader engaged. I particularly like the idea of her secret identity and being around the police officers who are trying to catch her. Angela seems interesting. I assume her past might catch up to her in this one. I like the introduction of another female heroine. Thickens the plot considerably.
All in all a good job. One observation, is the shifting POV in each scene. It doesn't bother me but you might find editors will pick up on it. They tend to like one head per scene, and you jump around a bit in several heads.
Anyhow, all good and I can see this being well liked, the same as your first.
I have included some nitpick edits and some suggestions to tighten some sentences, with chapter one. Just my opinion, so feel free to ignore.
I wish you well with this and thanks for the read,
Cheers Jacoba

Chapter one
...thinking you had been thrown into the latest.. ( take out that)

...given a description of the lieutenant ( instead of on)

As he approacehd the woman, she turned to look at him ( I'd take out and neared her)

Although the terminals, gates, lobbies and parking lots of the airport were crowded with the rumble of voices and the roar of jets, it was as if he and the woman were alone. ( to tighten)

He still couldn't believe this beautiful ( take out that)

The last month the thermometer hit record temps of one hundred degrees or higher almost every day. ( to tighten)
..the small, rotating white fan made ( change from was making to make more active)

CarolinaAl wrote 643 days ago

I read your first three chapters.

General comments: An engaging start. An interesting main character. Vivid descriptions. Not a lot of tension. Good pacing.

Specific comment of the first chapter:
1) Start a new paragraph with: Completely unfazed, the Lieutenant briskly picked up her bag, and looked at him. "Shall we go?" The convention is to start a new paragraph each time you switch focus to a different character. Readers expect this.

Specific comments on the second chapter:
1) " ... when I was told you would be attending to night, ... " 'To night' should be 'tonight.'
2) "Maybe it's a good thing you're one her side." 'One' should be 'on.'

Specific comment on the third chapter:
1) "That's better," Joy sniffed. Period after 'better.' You can't 'sniff' dialogue.

I hope this critique helps you further polish your all important opening chapters. These are just my opinions. Use what works for you and discard the rest.

Would you please take a look at "Savannah Fire" and, if it's worthy, keep it in mind when you next reshuffle your bookshelf?

Have a marvelous day.

Al

Juliusb wrote 680 days ago

Hello Neolle,

“But she smiled widely at his scrutiny, and her handshake was firm and to the point. As if he had just woken from a dream, John started and realized he had been staring.

He opened his mouth to apologize, but she stopped him. “Don’t worry, Commissioner. I get that reaction a lot” – heavenly!

So far I have read chapter 1 - so interesting.

JULIUS [Destined to Triumph]

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