Book Jacket

 

rank  Editors Pick
word count 107429
date submitted 14.08.2011
date updated 30.04.2013
genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Children...
classification: universal
complete

The Library of Living

Jessica Jade Burton

When teenager Ben Bailey dies, he finds himself in an old library, in which the books detail his choices for reincarnation.

 

The Library of Living is about fourteen-year-old Ben Bailey, who is tragically killed by a taxi.
He wakes up in an old library that is full of books which detail the people and animals he can return to Earth as.
However, all he cares about is whether or not he will be able to see Anna Lawson again, his childhood companion and sweetheart.
The story takes the reader through the lives of Ben and Anna, how they met and became best friends.
Whilst Ben is getting to grips with the contents of the library and three spirits he meets there, Anna has to come to terms with her life now and a future without Ben.



 
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tags

afterlife, bereavement, death, family, friendship, life, love, relationships

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Chapters

7

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The Other Spirits

 

PART SEVEN – THE OTHER SPIRITS

 

] HANDSHAKES ]

Back in the library, the logs on the fire were slowly dying. Ben was just about to top them up, when a cold breeze blew in through the chimney. It blew through the cobwebs, shuffling the pages of an open book that was resting upon the table. The book was one that Ben had been studying; and was entitled ‘The Hedgehog.’

The hairs on his arms stood on end as the room spun out of the tranquillity he had grown used to. Something had changed; he was no longer alone.

The floorboards beneath Ben creaked; as a tall bony character entered the room. His face was gaunt, and his lips looked as though he had been sucking on lemons. He wore a tweed suit with buttoned pockets and carried a pocket watch with a crack in its face. He looked at Ben through a pair of pale eyes as he placed himself on the floor next to the fire, his bones clicking as he bent.

Behind him followed a girl of around ten, she had large staring eyes and a head full of curls and was blowing bubbles through a wand. She wore a lace frock, and there was an old-fashioned air about her posture and solemn expression, which made Ben feel slightly uneasy. He watched as she positioned herself beside the fire next to the man, tucking her legs neatly to one side as she sat.

The final character to enter the room was an Old English sheepdog; with a floppy fringe that hung over his face. He was grasping a book between his teeth entitled ‘The Border Collie.’

His fur rippled and moulted as he shook, which caused Ben to sneeze; but this dog was easily the friendliest of the three and made himself comfortable at Ben’s feet.

Ben thought back to just after he had died: The point when he was standing at the bus stop in Bethnal Green. He remembered how he had felt very different and been aware of every tiny thing that was happening around him.

These had been things that he wouldn’t have noticed had he been alive.  He didn’t remember paying much attention to the way people fidgeted when they were bored, how ants sometimes carried things, how foals that whinnied in fields are often answering another horse’s call; it was only since dying that he had felt hypersensitive to every movement.

 

It was a hard feeling to explain; almost like experiencing a sixth sense. Right now, as these spirits entered the reading room, Ben saw colours and felt feelings that indicated how each of them had felt about the life they just left. It was as if he had a power to read into them before they had even spoken.

THE COLOUR BEN SAW WHEN THE MAN HAD ENTERED THE ROOM: PALE GREEN

HOW HE FELT: VERY COLD, SHIVERY AND EVEN SLIGHTLY FEARFUL. BEN HAD BEEN SURPRISED TO SEE THE SPIRITS, BUT THE MAN’S PALE EYES LOOKED AS IF HE HAD SEEN SO MANY THINGS HAPPEN IN HIS LIFE THAT HE SELDOM NEEDED TO SHOW EXPRESSION ANYMORE. THERE WAS NO SMILE ON HIS FACE, ONLY A STREET MAP OF LINES.

This man had the habit of licking his fingers as he turned the pages of his book. This was a habit that Ben had always found quite irritating. The book the man was looking at was entitled ‘The Rainbow Trout’ and he muttered incoherently to himself as he stumbled through the words.

He was quite a distracting character, who Ben found intriguing, and struggled not to stare too much as to annoy him. He seemed intelligent; and whatever it was he was reading, he was clearly very passionate about the topic.

THE COLOUR BEN SAW WHEN THE GIRL ENTERED THE ROOM: WHITE

HOW HE FELT: A BIT NERVOUS. HE COULD SEE THAT SHE HAD BEEN BROUGHT UP BY SOMEONE UPPER CLASS. PROBABLY SPOILT BUT SHE SEEMED TROUBLED. SOMETHING UNUSUAL AND CLEARLY TERRIFYING HAD HAPPENED TO HER.

 

The girl was no longer blowing bubbles. She held a book in her hands but she didn’t read it, and Ben couldn’t see the title. She strummed her bitten fingernails against its cover and looked dreamily at the fire flames.

THE COLOUR BEN SAW WHEN THE DOG ENTERED THE ROOM: YELLOW

HOW HE FELT: HAPPY AND RELAXED. THE DOG WAS VERY FRIENDLY AND ACCEPTING OF PEOPLE. HE HAD LIVED WITH A KIND FAMILY AND HAD A LONG AND HAPPY LIFE, WITH NOTHING LEFT THAT HE NEEDED TO GO BACK AND CHANGE.

The dog appeared to be satisfied with his choice to be a border collie and had come into the reading room to take a nap. After having his belly tickled, he rolled back onto his front and fell asleep contentedly with his legs tucked under Ben’s armchair.

Ben found it hard to concentrate on what he was doing. The man kept on muttering, the girl continued to strum her fingers against her book cover and the dog was snoring loudly.

Ben noticed that the girl was trembling as if she was cold or frightened, and he decided to talk to her. Ben introduced himself to both she and the man, and shook their hands politely.

The Man’s hands were bony, with large bulging veins like tree roots and he wore a gold signet ring.  He introduced himself as Fergal Montague, in a tone that was flat and uncomfortable.  Ben imagined that he must have lived a life in a busy line of work, leaving little time to socialise.

 

The girl’s hand was cold and trembling; she introduced herself as Ophelia Searle, adding that the sleeping dog’s name was Barney.  She looked at Ben as though she wanted him to ask more questions.

‘I’m scared,’ she whispered finally.

Ben looked into her eyes; they were flickering and fearful like a mouse being confronted by a cat which made Ben feel sorry her. He had felt that he was far too young to be dead already but Ophelia was at least three years younger than him.

He smiled at her reassuringly and asked if she wanted to go for a walk. He was feeling a bit achy from sitting in the same position for so long and needed to stretch his legs, and Ophelia was clearly distracted. She didn’t look as if she’d be able to focus on selecting a life for herself anytime soon. So together they wandered around the corridor maze.

Ben explained how he had died to Ophelia and spoke a little about Anna, hoping that this might bring her to open up to him. Something about her was both haunting and intriguing and he was sure that she had an interesting story to tell. He also hoped that maybe he could help her and be her friend. The library was a very strange place to be, and you could never have too many friends during a time where decisions were so important.

Ophelia said very little, but Ben noticed that she was looking thoroughly at everything around her and guessed that she had developed a heightened awareness of little things that were happening too.

 

Together they observed the sloped corridor ceilings. These were supported by wooden beams that were decorated with nesting pigeons and antique lanterns that swung on chains. A family of mice scurried along the floorboards in front of them and disappeared down a drainpipe, as the last ones tail vanished into the darkness, Ophelia spoke.

“I miss mother,” she sighed, “I wasn’t supposed to die yet.”

Her voice was high pitch and vibrato and Ben couldn’t make out whether this was through class or nerves.

It was then that Ophelia took a deep breath and shared with Ben her story.

] OPHELIA ]

    Ophelia was born into a wealthy British family, who had been living in Germany for several years. Her dad worked for a toy company and Ophelia had every toy a child could dream of.

Ophelia had an amazing bedroom that included a four poster bed decorated with Christmas tree lanterns, and a wooden dolls house the size of a garden shed, with a ladder to reach the top level. She even had her own pair of pointy Siamese cats that followed her everywhere she went.

Unfortunately, this lifestyle didn’t last forever. After one Christmas of terrible sales figures, the toy company went bust and Ophelia’s dad lost his job. This meant that the family couldn't afford to keep their multi-story townhouse in Berlin, so they decided to go back to London, and stay with an equally rich great aunt. Ophelia had sulked for the entire plane journey: and at Heathrow airport, she decided to run away.

Her family had stopped to get a coffee whilst waiting for their taxi to arrive, when Ophelia got up from her seat, and announced that she was going to the bathroom. She wandered off, leaving her milkshake behind her and looked around for a good place to hide. She soon spotted the green exit sign and immediately made a dash for it.

She didn’t mean to get lost; she just expected her parents to panic and come looking for her. She wanted them to know how much the move had upset her and take her back to Germany to be with her friends.

On her back was a pink rucksack that she had taken on the plane as hand luggage. This contained a purse with eight pound coins inside it and Ophelia used some of this money to catch a bus into central London.

Once she was there, she caught another bus which took her around the famous sights. She took photographs of the houses of parliament, the river Thames and Tower Bridge, but after the tour had finished, Ophelia started to feel tired and alone. She also felt hungry.

Looking at her watch, she could see that she had been missing for approximately three hours. It seemed a lot longer; and she was starting to get scared. Why hadn’t anyone found her yet? She didn’t even know what part of London her great aunt lived in, nor did she have any contact details for anyone in England. She was unsure of the code for reaching Germany, so she couldn’t even phone a friend for advice.

She looked around for people to ask, but she didn’t see anyone approachable. Everyone seemed busy and preoccupied, dashing around with their brief cases in a brainwashed world. Ophelia decided that the best person to help her would have to be the most famous person in the whole of England: the Queen. Her mum had often told her stories about girls going to the palace for tea with the queen and Ophelia believed these to be true.

She had seen Buckingham Palace on the bus tour and decided that it should be easy enough to find.

There was a dirty street map lying on the pavement; Ophelia was usually fussy about picking things up off the ground, but she snatched the map up, hastily and carefully followed the route to the palace.

Somehow she got it wrong; it began to get dark and it wasn’t long before Ophelia found herself completely lost on a dodgy street, full of clubs and bars. She was cold and shaky and desperate to find her family.

A policeman was plodding the street, and if Ophelia had asked him to help her out, then everything would have been okay; but she didn’t and it wasn’t and you can’t turn back time.

Unfortunately, Ophelia was terrified of policemen. This was because if she misbehaved at home, her dad would often threaten to call the police and one time he had even gone as far as phoning the talking clock and pretending to Ophelia that it was a policeman on the other side of the phone. So watching one walking up and down the street, when she knew she had done something she shouldn’t, made her think that if he spotted her, he would lock her up.  So she hid from him. She walked down some concrete steps next to one of the bars, zigzagged past some old dustbins and pushed and a door open. She was in someone’s flat.

It wasn’t the most welcoming of homes. The wallpaper was a dark mottled green, and air in the room smelt stale.

There was a table set for a meal. Cutlery and plates were laid out, and there were two candelabras lit with tall flames that flickered.  In the middle of the table was an untouched iced cake decorated with black sugar-crafted flowers and the words Happy Birthday Eunice.  Six chairs were arranged around the table; each one had a helium balloon tied to its back.

Ophelia found the house a bit spooky but being inside where it was warm and away from all the policemen made her feel relieved. She wanted to find somewhere to sleep until daylight and then she planned to search properly for her parents.

She walked through to the corridor, which was tiled in cold colours and housed a stuffed crow in a glass box. She hoped that the house might be empty, or failing that maybe someone kind might live there and allow her to stay for the night.

Ophelia heard a banging noise and peered through the doorway it seemed to be coming from. She looked into the sitting room where a creaky rocking chair moved back and forth. There in the chair sat the most frightening looking woman that Ophelia had ever seen.

This woman wore a long black dress with a high collar and lace around the cuffs and hem. A pearl necklace swung down to her tummy button and a black hat rested upon her silver hair. Her face was fully concealed with black netting that hung from the hat and she was banging a black raven headed umbrella against the wall, whilst muttering to a caged blackbird. Ophelia moved swiftly away.

There were two bedrooms. One was decorated black, with crow paintings surrounding the bed. She guessed it must belong to the scary woman; so she slept in the other one, which was cream, with a brass bed. It wasn’t very comfortable at all; the mattress had such a huge dip that it touched the floor, but somehow Ophelia managed to sleep heavily throughout the night.

Whilst she was asleep, one of the helium balloons blew into a candle flame and exploded setting the table cloth on fire. The fire spread to the carpet, and the fumes spread all over the flat.

Ophelia never woke up.

Now she was stuck in the library, frightened, and talking to Ben. Ben and Ophelia both had one thing in common, neither of them wanted to be anything other than what they were before they died. People missed them and would struggle to live with their losses, and neither Ben nor Ophelia could do anything to stop the hurt. They could only become something else that could visit their loved ones, and hope that they could be recognised.

 

 

] THE ONE TIME BEN AND OPHELIA MET ON EARTH ]

Ben was happy that Ophelia had spoken to him. He now realised why she was posh, serious and frightened and was glad that he wasn’t the only one in the same situation. Ophelia had stopped trembling and she even smiled faintly.  As she and Ben strolled back to join the other spirits in the reading room, she turned to Ben and asked if he remembered her.

Ben looked into her unusual green eyes and shook his head. Ophelia showed no disappointment, and her expression remained neutral as she told Ben about the one and only time the two of them had met on Earth.

It was a warm sunny day and they had been at the same open air swimming pool. Ophelia’s family had come to England for the summer, and rather than spending hot, sticky days in the London crowds, Ophelia’s aunty had taken them to explore the Devon coast.

Ben and Anna were nine and Ophelia was just five. Her father had blown up a pair of orange armbands to help keep her afloat. These bands squeezed around her arms tightly and made her move awkwardly as she wandered towards the pool, breathing in the combined scents of new rubber and chlorine.

She turned around, hoping to grasp the warm hand of her dad, but he was no longer with her. All she could see was the back of his shirt and the familiar bob of his head as he disappeared into the poolside bar. Her mother was stood at his side, tapping him with her hand as she laughed.

Ophelia was scared. The water looked deep and she didn’t know which end was the shallow one. Her insides burnt and her face felt hot as she cried and called for her parents. Neither one of them came.

Ben and Anna were in the water, playing on a frog shaped float. Ben paused when he noticed the little girl on her own, standing at the edge of the deep end. Anna followed his gaze.

“She’s too young to be on her own,” Ben said. “I wonder where her parents are.”

“We should see if she’s okay,” Anna agreed.

The two of them clambered out of the water, and together they went over to Ophelia. Her green eyes were wary and deer-like as she looked at the two of them. She explained that her parents had left her alone and she wasn’t yet able to swim. She pointed out two distant characters behind the glass front of the bar.

“They will collect me when their finished in there,” she said, wiping her eyes. 

Ben and Anna were too young to go into the bar and speak with her parents, and even if they could, they wouldn’t have known what to say. So they showed Ophelia where the shallow end was and looked after her in the water.

Ben and Anna had been having swimming lessons at school and were both fairly competent.  Ben asked Ophelia if she would like to learn doggy-paddle and she nodded.

Anna told her to hold onto one of the silver bars that framed the pool and practice kicking her legs.  Splash droplets sprayed everywhere, but Ophelia was smiling, happy with the attention she was receiving. Ben and Anna swam either side of her as she bobbed in the water, copying their movements.

After about an hour, Ben suggested that she tried without the armbands. Ophelia was relieved to get the circulation back into her arms, and shook her hands before sliding into the water.

Anna stood beside her and Ben in front as she swam her first width.

Ben smiled as he remembered the story, and Ophelia grinned too.

“I always remembered that day.” She concluded, “Not only did you give me the attention I was craving, you also taught me a skill that would one day save my life.”

“It saved you?” Ben replied, eyes widening as he spoke.

Yes. She replied. “Two years ago I was climbing a tree, and I slipped and fell into a river. No one else had ever shown me how to swim, and no one was around to rescue me, but I remembered what you taught me and I swam to safety. It was deep and scary, but thanks to you and Anna, I lived for a couple more years.”  

When the two spirits entered the reading room, Barney opened his eyes, and Fergal had stopped reading and was scratching around his hairline.

     “Everyone in this reading room is connected in some way.” Ophelia whispered.

 

] FERGAL ]

Although he seemed distant, Fergal spoke in a broad country accent that reminded Ben of home.

“It’s very difficult to concentrate in here.” He said aloud, “Where have you two nippers been anyway?”

“Walking and talking about how we died,” Ben replied. “Do you have a story you’d like to share?”

“I was a fisherman,” began Fergal, nodding towards his choice of books. Ben flicked through the titles with interest:

FERGAL’S CHOICE OF BOOKS:

THE RAINBOW TROUT

THE CAT FISH

THE MONKEY FACED EEL

THE MACKEREL

THE SWORDFISH

THE GREAT WHITE SHARK

 

“Why would you want to become a fish if you spent your time on Earth killing them?” Ben asked, intrigued.

Fergal went on to explain that he didn’t kill the fish: he merely caught them, kept them in water, studied them and then returned them to their natural habitat.

His job was to write books on the different species of fish that fascinated him. Now he was dead, he wanted to become a fish next. That way, he could find out for himself first-hand what it’s like to live amongst the waves. He could also get to know the creatures he had spent a lifetime trying to understand.

Fergal had been through a lot in his life. He had fought in the war and survived both an earthquake and a train crash. So in some ways he was a very lucky person and in other ways an extremely unlucky one. He had retired from the marines early due to a bullet injury in his left leg, and had taken up writing about marine biology as both a hobby and a career.

He was seventy-one and in good health when he had been killed by a deadly jellyfish.

He had been in Australia at the time, studying sharks for his latest book.  Diving in the Great Barrier Reef had always been something that he had wanted to do, and he was excited when the opportunity had arisen for him to photograph the Great Whites for an encyclopaedia.

He dove off a yacht and swam deep into the ocean, exploring the types of coral and swarms of fish as he searched around excitedly for the sharks. It was very unusual for Fergal to become excited; but somehow the thought of sharks caused a happy ripple across his body, like an electric current. He had no fear of them at all. To him, they were the most interesting and powerful creatures alive.

It took a couple of hours of being under the sea before he finally spotted one; and when he did, his pale eyes shone and crinkled lips curled upwards at the sides. His flippers kicked as he moved along, and he imagined that he too was a shark as he swam towards it.

The shark remained a blue shadow in the distance for quite a while, probably swimming at Fergal’s speed, which would explain why it didn’t appear to be getting much closer. It must have stopped because Fergal finally managed to catch up with it, and once close, he positioned himself just metres away, behind a mass of seaweed. He was just getting his camera ready to zoom in close, when a Box Jellyfish swam underneath him.

Unfortunately, Fergal was so fascinated by the shark that he failed to notice the jellyfish. He must have moved suddenly or done something to frighten it because it stung him right in the chest.

Fergal had a terrible reaction to this. With no one close enough to help him, he blacked out and tragically drowned.

He had woken up to find himself, safe and warm in the cabin of a boat with no visible injuries. He thought that he might have been saved and that some sort of miracle had occurred. Then when he came up on deck, he realised where he was going.

The boat was heading towards the library. He recognised it straight away.

Fergal wasn’t disappointed to end up in the library. He saw it as a new chapter, and he had no interest whatsoever in becoming a human again. If anything he would be relieved once his form changed into something different.

Fergal had been a loner in life, with only his tropical fish tank and research books for company. He had very few friends, and had never been married or had any children. To him, choosing to be a human was the most stressful choice a spirit could make.

It was a popular choice because humans have so much power over the planet, but constantly having to follow a clock and be in places at certain times was always a bother and having to be confined in buildings such as schools and workplaces for large portions of the day also irritated Fergal a great deal. Humans spend far more time rushing about the place in bad moods than any other species.

He shared these thoughts with Ben, Ophelia and Barney who agreed with him, without sharing the same bitterness. The difference was that they all had people who they wanted to return to. They had all been loved.

Ophelia told me that in this reading room, we’re all connected in some way.” Ben told Fergal. “Did you ever meet me on Earth?”

Fergal shook his head.

“No, I never met you. I knew your dad.” He explained.

 

] HOW FERGAL MET BEN’S DAD ]

When Fergal was in his late forties, he spent his weekends studying the sea life at the old aquarium on Plymouth Hoe.

This aquarium was where Ben’s dad worked when he was seventeen, cleaning out the fish tanks. This was his first and only job. The aquarium was managed by Steve’s dad: the granddad who Ben had never met. Ben had a very good relationship with his mum’s parents but had always wondered why he never saw his dad’s.

As a teenager, Steve was different. He had ambition, and wanted to become a wildlife photographer. Naturally, he looked up to Fergal and often asked him questions about his photography equipment. Fergal believed that he would go far in life. He always remembered his manners and was good at making conversation with the visitors.

Steve’s dad was a round shouldered man, who always wore a tailor made suit, with creases ironed into his trouser legs.  His hairline had receded into a V-shape and he wore thick lensed glasses and an open mouthed smile, which exposed his gold fillings.  He was a respected man, used to being obeyed. All his life Steve had feared him and had been careful to do as he was told.

Fergal was awkward and lived in his own world, where he believed animals to be superior. He was almost ashamed to be human, often speaking of the damage we were causing to the rainforests and oceans. Steve was happy to have discovered a role model, who cared for more than money making. Sometimes after work, they would walk together by the sea and look out for seals. Steve would sometimes confide in Fergal, and Fergal got the feeling that Steve lacked confidence and was looking out for someone who could reassure him.

One day something horrible happened. Steve had just finished a shift and was buttoning his coat to leave, when he felt a dark shadow cast over him. He breathed in the familiar scent of cigar smoke, and as he turned, he found himself face to face with his father. His face was an angry tone of purple and his pupils were black with rage. He flickered cigar ash on Steve’s shoe.

“You’ve let me down son.” He snarled.

Steve stood frozen to the floor, hands still stuck to his button hole.

“Do you have any idea how much money you’ve cost my business and I?” His father continued, spit firing from his gap-tooth as he spoke.

     Steve was unsure of what he had done; he had never seen anyone so angry. He didn’t dare ask. He stood in silence listening to the words: words that would scar him forever.

    “You make me sick son, I don’t ever want you to set foot near me or my business again! You’re good for nothing!”

    The door slammed, and that was the last Steve saw of his father.

Steve left the building confused, with his eyes prickled and head hung in shame. He found a bench, and watched the seagulls bobbing on the surface of the sea in front of him. Fergal sat silently beside him. It was the one time that Fergal considered putting his arm around a human, but he felt awkward. He was angry about what Steve had done too, but unlike Steve’s father, Fergal knew it had been a terrible mistake.

    “I don’t know what I did.” Steve whispered.

    “That’s probably a good thing.” Fergal replied.

    “Tell me.” Steve pleaded; looking into Fergal’s soft, knowing eyes.

    “You used the wrong solution to clean the tanks.” He explained.

“Were the fish okay?” Steve asked hopefully.

“No, they died.”

“All of them?”

“All of them.”

Steve got up and walked away, angry with himself, and from that day on he believed his dad: he was good for nothing.

Fergal didn’t see Steve again until seven years later.

It was the county show and Fergal had agreed to photograph the prize winning life stock for the local newspaper. In his free time he decided to look inside some of the other tents. Steve was sitting at a homemade jam stall alongside a slim woman with bobbed mousey hair and perfect teeth.

He introduced her as Sandra, adding that she was his girlfriend. She was well dressed, unlike Steve who was wearing an old grey t-shirt with tattered jeans. Sandra explained to Fergal that the jam was made by her parents and she was watching the stall so that they could look around.

Her tone was firm and Fergal could tell that she was the dominant one of the two. Steve looked bored. He picked the skin that surrounded his fingernails and scuffed his trainers along the grass. Sandra muttered at him to stop fidgeting and suggested that he and Fergal go for a coffee together.

They sat on hay bales, gripping onto their polystyrene cups, and catching up with each other. Fergal was surprised at how Steve had changed. He had no ambition and he had achieved very little since leaving the aquarium. His days were spent lounging in front of the television and gorging on takeaway food. Sandra tried to encourage him, but it had little effect.

Steve and Sandra had met in a bar and she had fallen for his rugged looks. Initially being a mother figure hadn’t bothered her but she was beginning to get tired of Steve never lifting a finger to help out, and wished that he would appreciate her. She was three months pregnant, and worried about how he would handle the responsibilities that fatherhood would bring.

Expressing her concerns only made things worse, and Steve confessed to Fergal his fears of being unable to bond with a baby. Fergal tried to encourage him but it was useless. The way Steve’s father had treated him had changed everything.

Once Ben was born, Steve tried his best to make an effort, but his self-esteem was so low that he struggled, eventually giving up. He could see how much Ben craved his attention but he didn’t see how he could change. He always saw himself as someone who was ‘Good for nothing.”

 

] BARNEY ]

Barney had lived a healthy long life and had died peacefully of old age during his sleep. His owners were an elderly couple who lived in a pretty little cottage that overlooked the Yorkshire dales. There were plenty of fields at the back of the cottage where Barney could run around amongst the buttercups and chase the rabbits.

His owners were Ernest and Gwen Clemons who were both retired school teachers.

Ernest enjoyed pottering around in the garden when the weather was warm and Barney would often follow him about, helping him to dig holes and bury bulbs, which was always good fun. Summers in Yorkshire were dreamy; but the sun stayed hidden for the majority of winter, which meant that the days would often drag.

When it was cold, the majority of Ernest’s time was spent in his armchair. He would sit there for hours playing the harmonica and catching up on the news headlines. Barney would sometimes get a bit bored sitting around and would try to jump up on Ernest’s lap.

Gwen was a lot more motivated and always seemed to be busy cooking, walking and baking. When she wasn’t busy with those things, she would be knitting and even made Barney a red woollen coat for the winter. She was always the one who took Barney for walks along the windswept hills and wasn’t fazed by fog or snow. Gwen and Barney loved these walks equally and looked forward to days when the views were clear and cloud free.

Towards the end of Barney’s life; Gwen had to go into hospital to have a knee operation, which meant that they didn’t go walking at all. To make matters worse, Ernest liked to spoil Barney with food, and whilst Gwen was in hospital, Barney had been fed on endless scraps from the fridge and sure enough had ended up gaining weight.

After Gwen’s operation; the walks became shorter and the naps got longer, but the loyalty and love were always strong.

Everyone could see that Barney was a well-loved dog. He had returned to the library in a state that all spirits wish to return: Happy with the life they lived, with nothing very much they’d change and ready to move onto something new.

As Ben ruffled Barney’s fur, he brushed the curtain of fringe from his face, exposing a familiar pair of brown eyes.

Ben and Barney weren’t strangers; and as Ben studied his face, memories of their time together on earth came flooding back to him.

] WHEN BEN MET BARNEY ON EARTH ]

One of Ben’s earliest memories was watching his cousin Lucy being trampled on by a Labrador. Lucy had just learnt to crawl, and Ben watched horrified as the muddy paws traipsed over the baby, leaving prints smeared across her white sleep suit. He remembered hearing her screams and watching his auntie’s concerned expression as she scooped her child up off the floor. He recalled cowering into a corner and the dog chasing him, jumping up and knocking him to the ground. Ben ran and hid under the bed.  That was the day he developed a fear of dogs.

  Whenever he saw a dog, he would hide behind his mum, and she would tell him not to be a scaredy-cat.  His dad was a little more understanding; he suffered with his nerves and could relate to the feelings of fear.

When Ben was three, his parents were going through a difficult time. There were daily arguments that he didn’t know how to stop. Sometimes when his mum and dad were shouting at each other, Ben would tell them that he loved them both, hoping that it would make them happy again, but it didn’t work. Instead, he would be told to go to his bedroom and play with his toys.

Sometimes he would sit on the top stair, clinging onto his toy monkey, until the shouting stopped. When it was all over he would often find his mother crying, and his father smoking outside. 

His grandparents didn’t like the situation and took Ben away for a week so that he could have fun, whilst his parents tried to sort out their differences.

They went to Yorkshire, to stay with two of their good friends, Gwen and Ernest in a beautiful stone cottage by the Dales. Gwen and Ernest were in their sixties and liked drinking tea and working on their garden. They had a beautiful garden surrounded by rolling hills.

On the first day of their visit, Gwen set up a slide for Ben, using a sheet of tarp that was going spare in their garage.

She and Ernest spread it out across the grassy bank, using bricks to hold it down at the edges.  They then squirted it with fairy liquid and set up a hose so that Ben could slide down it like a water slide.

He slid down on his belly, so quickly that when he reached the end, he continued to slide across the lawn. Once he had stopped, Ben stood up. A bemused expression had spread over his face and he was plastered in a mixture of soap and grass. As he brushed himself clean, a fluffy puppy ran towards him.

Ben screamed and grabbed onto his granddad’s arm, closing his eyes tightly as he felt the rough tongue licking at his cheek.

“Hey, he’s just a puppy.” Ben’s granddad said, soothingly.  Barney lay on the floor and rolled onto his back to have his tummy rubbed.

  Ben took a step towards him. Even through his frightened eyes, Ben could see that Barney was as young and playful as him.

“Hold out your hand.” His granddad said, taking hold of Ben’s tensed up fist.

Barney sniffed at it, and Ben’s fingers slowly relaxed. He stroked Barney’s floppy fringe from his eyes and smiled.

“He just wants to be your friend.” Gwen told him.

She handed him two bone shaped biscuits. Ben threw these in the air and giggled as Barney caught them in his mouth. From that day forth, he was no longer afraid of dogs.

Ben spent the week tearing down the slide with Barney chasing after him, throwing sticks for him to catch in the woods, and curled up with him in front of the television before bedtime. At the end of the week, Ben even helped Ernest give Barney a bath.

There was a framed photograph at Ben’s grandparents, depicting him and Barney sitting together on a dry stone wall.

Over the years Ben had looked at the picture and remembered Barney, often wondering what had become of him.

Now they were together once again.

 

 

Chapters

7

7

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Kim Padgett-Clarke wrote 518 days ago

Hi Jessica

Sorry it's take so long to get round to reading The Library of Living. I was an avid reader in childhood and my teens and I would have loved to read a book like this. The theme of the story is great with the elements of love and the after-life running through it and the confirmation that even death can't break the strong bond between people we love. Pain has that theme too so I know where you are coming from! You portray the feelings between Ben and Anna beautifully and really capture their heartbreak at losing each other superbly. I am sure we will see your novel in the ED in the very near future. Six well deserved stars.

P.S. reading your bio your own upbringing would make a fascinating novel in itself!

Kim (Pain)

Robert McCracken wrote 537 days ago

Really enjoyed reading Library of the Living, Jessica. Although it is written for children and is written about children it reads like an adult's book. It's thought provoking, it's heart-warming and emotional. Re-incarnation is a fascinating concept that fires the imagination. The library idea is brilliant with endless possibilities for Ben. I can see how Mitch Albom's book has inspired you and yet Library of the Living is a valid story of its own, just as powerful and every bit as touching.
One small point, and you might have considered this already: As far as I'm aware publishers like to know what age group a children's novel is intended. This will have an effect, perhaps, on the themes within your story. Just a thought f you're intending to submit to publishers. I know. for sure that my daughter would have gladly read this as a twelve-year old. She'd probably read it now and she's twenty-three.
best wishes,
Robert

junetee wrote 522 days ago

Hi Jessica, this is an amazing book you have written. I thought I'd check it out.
The pitch is intriguing, and the title brilliant, along with the collection of ideas that make up 'the library of Living'.
The first chapter grabbed my attention immediately. I know this is a book meant for Yound adults, but I found myself carried away in the story.
Great characters, described with warmth and accuracy.
Top marks for your imagination, you share it with the reader with your beautiful descriptive writing throughout the first three chapters I read. Maybe minor editing required, but it was still it was a pleasure to read.
I give it 6 stars and I hope it will reach the editors desk very soon.
(I will back it in the next few days when I rearrange my book shelf.)
Junetee(Four Corners.

Johnny Appleseed wrote 522 days ago

How do the mechanics of the afterlife work?

Jessica Jade Barton's book "The Library of Living" gives her vision of what that final frontier looks like.

The book begins with an exchange of letters between Anna and Ben, two teens who are--or I should say "were"--deeply in love. Ben has died tragically and finds himself in the Library, missing his Anna, wanting to reassure her that he is fine. The Library is a place where souls come to find their next lives on the world. Ben has 30 days to find that next life, and he wants desperately to find something that will bring him close to Anna. One caveat though: He will not have any prior knowledge of his past life.

The story moves to a series of flashbacks showing the growing friendship and emergent love between the two children. I don't want to give too much away (to those, like me, who like to read comments and reviews before reading the narrative), but these flashbacks serve the story well, providing important characterization for both protagonists. Though the pace, at times, slows a bit, I did not get impatient. I wanted to get to know Ben and Anna.

The most interesting character, I believe, is Mrs. Vine, the librarian. Part grandmother, part teacher, she is a Mentor to Ben's Telemachus. I immediately saw Helen Mirren in this role. Mrs. Vine is a complex woman. I really liked her.

It has been suggested that this story is a teenage "Ghost." Perhaps...but to me it seems more like "What Dreams May Come"--an afterlife of familiarity and the option to go back and start over.Though Burton's story ends somewhat sadly, I cannot help but to think it ends rightly.

With a good revision to rewrite "telling" scenes into "showing" scenes, and to clean and clear up some of the language, "The Library of Living" will definitely grace the shelves of bookstores in the future.

I highly recommend this book.

stearn37 wrote 9 days ago

Hi Jessica
well done on getting to the Editors desk.
You are onto a winner here, i showed the book to my partner yesterday and she loved it.
I am sure your review will be superb.
Cheers,
John Stearn
Author of Derilium.

liampatrik wrote 17 days ago

Hi Jessica - have just made it through the first chapter, but wanted to say what a phenomenal idea this is, and how well you've executed it - well done! There are aspects to the Library that remind me of the book warehouse in Shadow of the Wind.... while different scenarios, they both present books as more than human creations, but pieces/gateways/smidgens of human (or other) lives.

Your have a good balance between writing poetically and cutting to the chase - this chapter is pacey, without skimping on some nice descriptions and character sketching. Ben and Anna seem very alive (err, even when when they're not.....!).

There were a couple of points where I thought you could provide little insights as to his thoughts on rapidly changing circumstances - for example, what triggers Ben into thinking/realising that he's dead? The awareness strikes him suddenly, but I'd love to know how that realisation dawns - it would be an incredibly weird thing to suddenly think. Was he primarily nervous, happy, etc. etc? Also, when he first entered the building, he becomes aware that he'd been there "before he was born" - that, too, is an unusual conviction to have (though we all feel deja vu!) - how do you think he'd feel to come upon such a bizarre certainty?

Hope those little thoughts make some sense - really compelled what what you've done, and will definitely keep reading! (and backing)

Cheers,
Liam - "A Eurasian Diary: From Hong Kong to London by Train, Bus & Lada"

stearn37 wrote 18 days ago

Hi Jessica
Congratulations on getting this great book to the editors desk.
Can't wait for Harper Collins to publish it, which they will. I will be first in the queue to by it for my daughter.
Cheers,
John Stearn
Author of Derilium.

David Blackdene wrote 20 days ago

Well, normally I hate fantasy...However, I love this. In the same way that I love 'Always' the Hollie Hunter/Richard Freyfuss film, or 'It's a wonderful life'....I love the simplicity of it all. For me, this story, be it fiction, is totally feasible....Why not? 5 stars and backed happily. I've only read 3 chapters so far, but sometimes that's all it takes. Dave

Edward Gardner wrote 21 days ago

Had this book on my WL for a couple weeks, as the premise sounded intriguing, so I'm glad I'm finally getting the chance to read a couple chapters of it.

Loved Chapter 1. The letters between Anna and Ben got me feeling sad - indeed the whole first chapter is told in a way that made me hover somewhere close to being sad. It is the presence of Mrs Vine that dramatically lightens the reality of Ben's death. I loved her question "How was that life for you?" It made me smile to think of this nice old lady who's seen it all, yet who is still soft-hearted enough to shed tears when she hears another sad story. In Chapter 2 I liked the way she takes the time to sit and talk to Ben, and we have the chance to hear about how he grew up in a divided family and how meeting Anna changed his life. Perhaps the fact that my mother was a children's librarian makes this scene extra good for me - I can see her sitting with one of her students, listening to them in this sort of observant and encouraging way.

Good luck with your story,
Edward

Alan Porter wrote 24 days ago

Hi Jessica

I have only read the first four chapters so far, but what I see I like a lot. You have a fantastic idea, and you carry it well. I like the very matter-of-fact way Ben dies, and realises he's dead. Your idea to open the book with letters to set the tone is brilliant, and I like the (unusual) device of breaking chapters with subheads denoting the scene. Not sure a publisher will like it, but they should!

The library concept is also a strong one, and I will read on to see how he emerges...

The only thing I'm not wholly convinced about is the shift in perspective at Chapter 4. In Ch2 you have the backstory narrated by Ben, but later it comes through your authorial voice. Both work, but maybe not in the same book... so close together. I'll need to read further to make final judgment. (At least I still want to read further!)

There are a few grammatical issues, which I'm sure have been pointed out before (things like punctuation after direct speech fragments, and the need to begin each paragraph of direct speech with quote marks), so I won't rehash them all here. Suffice to say, you are very near ED so it might be worth sorting these things out before you get your big chance!

And I hope you do get that chance. You have a unique voice, a unique perspective on a novel idea, and you deserve to be read. I don't read much of this kind of book, but having wasted time on the dreadful 'Lovely Bones', I wish you had been published first. Your handling of the issue of the limbo of afterlife is vastly more convincing and entertaining.

Alan

junetee wrote 25 days ago

This is a very unusual and imaginative book. I read it a long time ago and I had to read it again. I love the idea of the library being the place that we choose the life we have next. You have written this beautifully and have captured the emotions and created almost a heavenly scene amongst the library, with the books and the woman. Good luck.
junetee
Four Corners + Pillars of Sand

Sheena Macleod wrote 25 days ago

Library of Living

Jessica, Oh, what a lovely idea - thirty days to choose your next life- I like it.
This book should be very will received. Well written and thought through.
Read up to 4. Mrs Vine is lovely - I was intrigued to see Ben had been in the library before- the sense that life goes on. A very comforting idea.

High starred already and no wonder.
Good luck with the ED.

High stars from me.

Sheena
The Popish Plot

Teb Danner wrote 26 days ago

Jessica.

I will read it chapter by chapter and comment that way.

"You didn't want a replacement dad..." I don't think you need this sentence. It lost momentum for me when i came across...You blocked me out as a reader. You said it perfectly, then you said it openly. (If that makes sense.)

You are setting up a hero/mentor relationship. (archetypes) between Ben/ Anna

I like the different shades of vulnerablity between the two: Ben and Anna. I like that they have few regrets.

The moment everything changed....

It is strong in its simplicity. Innocent and fresh.

The previous dialog of letters sets up this scene perfectly. The exuberant eyes. It manages the tone of voice. The covered eyes and tickle. It is really nice.

Black Taxi.

Like how the bike is tied to Ben and his fathers unresolved issues, and that feels connected to this crisis.

I like the use of public spaces. I can summons up images with your simplistic contrasts. I can see sunsets in puddles next to the the old museum. Mine is a library but at the drop of a hat. I have turned it into a museum. I think the secret is in your consistent tempo and unhindered style.

The narration is so clear. It is feminine and dependable. For my mind it works well. In a society where there is so much noise and distraction this works and doesn't demand too much or overwork my attention span. It allows me to look around to what else is in the room with Mrs Vine.

Nice.

Teb

elspbeth wrote 29 days ago

I have read a few chapters - very creative & beautifully written. Best of luck!

TBOBM wrote 29 days ago

Hi, this is my second attempt at leaving you with my opinion of the book, the first is lost somwhere in the ether.
This type of book is not something I would go out of my way to read, if I hadn't read it I would be the poorer for it.

Superb colouring brings out an imaginative plot, I am a faithless person, and yet you somehow managed to lift my spirit with your words.The target audience for this work will be inspired, but any human soul that reads it will be touched. Brilliant!
Artistic, in touch with nature,and full of promise, the story takes you through an adolescent love story, family relationships and death, the book is sensitive and compelling. Good Luck with it and future endevours.

PS. Authonomy rating system is not something I personally use, so don't bother reading my work on here.

Regards Nicholas David Evans

YvonneMarjot wrote 30 days ago

This is beautifully written. I found myself immediately sympathising with Anna and Ben. Of course, I already know that libraries are special places in this life, so it didn't surprise me to find one taking central place in the next.

There are a number of places where you would benefit from judicious punctuation editing. For instance:
'you didn't want a replacement Dad: you wanted your own Dad.' (Added colon).
'don't be afraid to talk to people. Your speech is perfectly coherent.' (Split 1 sentence into 2).
I would suggest that you stand and read your work to yourself, out loud. Your voice will fall into natural pauses, and these are the places where you should add or amend punctuation. it doesn't matter so much whether you use commas, semi-colons or full stops, so long as you're confident you've identified the natural pattern of short or long pauses.

Of course, you may use eccentric punctuation or speech patterns to indicate the personality or age of your characters, and that's perfectly fine. But general narration needs to flow in the reader's mind, and this happens best when punctuation is fairly standardised.

This book thoroughly deserves its current high status, and I hope you are able to find a publisher. I'll be watching out for it in future. Best wishes, Yvonne.

TBOBM wrote 30 days ago

A truly remarkable and inspiring read, the plot is coloured to perfection with obvious artistic talent. Not a genre I would have picked to read, but if I hadn't, I would have been the poorer for it.
The intended audience for this work will be enthralled, I am a person without faith whose spirit was lifted by the plot, to be able to be so emotive with the written word is a talent to be proud of. I would definitely reccomend this work. PS let me know when your next book is about to come out.

jrapilliard wrote 31 days ago

I have just backed your book
If you've got time, please have a look at mine, Penrose - Princess of Penrith.
Best wishes,
John.

Thanuj Dilshan wrote 39 days ago

Hi Jessica,
The Library of Living is a great read. I love the beautiful relationship between Ben and Anna; it reminds me of my childhood friendships. Best of luck!
Thanuj Dilshan.

Kestrelraptorial wrote 44 days ago

The story of how Ben and Anna met really is sweet. I love how they play together, and their curiosity. Where Ben remembers what being a new spirit was like is really cool. What’s interesting is that I think people do sometimes have dreams of what other lives may have been like, and sometimes they feel oddly familiar. The spirits’ wonder at what the Earth and their new universe is like

Michelle Richardson wrote 45 days ago

Jessica, I have been meaning to read this book for weeks and I'm so pleased that I did.
I could connect easily with the story as I am a big fan of children's fiction and also have a teenage son.
The bond between Ben and Anna was outstanding and acheived with so few words.
I am sure this will be a precious addition to many real bookshelves in the very near future, but for now I am backing it on my virtual
Michelle - 43 Primrose Avenue

Pamela Crabtree wrote 46 days ago

Hi Jessica, I'm putting you back on my bookshelf to give you a final boost! I loved this book and hope it's published.
My kind regards, good luck!
Pamela Crabtree.
'The Severed Cord'.

MagentaHead wrote 47 days ago

You have a great story here and I love how you've handled the subject matter. Very well written, I hope it finds a wider audience since this is something that both adults and children would love.

Chris

The Fantastic World of Sean Cleary

Roo Parkin wrote 48 days ago

Hi there,

What a delicious read, Jessica. I love the way you set the scene with the letters between Ben and Anna, Ben's realisation that he is dead (including the bus and the library) is skillfully drawn and I adore Mrs Vine and the whole reincarnation thang. Brilliant.

‘..why family tickets and hot cross buns always come in fours’ is a delightful observation.

I do have a few nits, but I am only elaborating on them because you may well be on the ED at the end of April, and you will want your ms to be in the best shape possible.

‘The man seemed conceited’ – doesn’t sound quite right. Maybe something like: 'There was something conceited about the man. Perhaps it was the way he ran his fingers though his hair and checked his reflection, twice'.

‘...man who looked like a brown toad’ – tell the reader how he looks like a brown toad. It just sits there as a statement with no back up.

‘He always late’ typo (can't recall exactly where, soz - ch2 or 3?)

‘..clutching dads clammy hand’ typo – apostrophe required for dad’s

‘much like the invisible wall she had built to protect herself’ – superfluous, more powerful without it - maybe just emphasise the wall a bit more, perhaps that it was ‘really high’ or something.

Playmobil and my Little Pony - I always think references like this (of which I am COMPLETELY guilty of making) are a bit too culture bound. if My Little Pony hadn't ever been a big thing in the reader's country, they wouldn't know what you were talking about. Perhaps you have only referenced things that you know were a global sensation - I just think it's safer to keep these kind of things a bit more bland.

Anyway, none of this detracts from the story, and I have awarded you very high stars. You are on my w/l - I am intending to read about 10 books and to then decide who to pop on my current 2 shelf spaces.

Lots of luck with this, Jessica.

Roo

MatthewBrenn wrote 49 days ago

Jessica,

I like your writing style, compact and almost terse. I haven't read enough to say if I like the book itself, but I have bookmarked it and will get back to it.

Good luck, you should make the Editor's list this month.

Matt

MC Storm wrote 55 days ago

I read the first two chapters and was engrossed with the story. Poor Ben poor Anna. All he longed for was his dad's affection, so very sad.
The dialogue works prefectly and your characters are real. I really like Mrs. Vine whom you describe so well. She wants for Ben to find Anna again.
Well done and high stars!
MC
Exposed

sherit wrote 55 days ago

Hi Jessica,
I guess I've been buried beneath a rock because I just discovered your book. And since you're at number 8 it's clear you don't really need my help or comments, but I do have a space on my WL, so if that would give you a bit of a cushion while you're on the ED next month (let's be positive here!), I'm happy to do that. I was looking around the top rated books to see what might be interesting to read and scrolled through until your book caught my eye. I agree with an earlier comment that although this is written for YA audience, grownups can thoroughly enjoy it too. Being the mom of two teenagers, I was so saddened by Ben's death...silly aren't I? But I cared about him immediately. I've read the first three chapters and hope to come back to read more. From what I can tell you thoroughly deserve the high ranking and I wish you all the best. I'll star you and put you on the WL for now. Best of luck, dear.
All the best,
Sheri Emery / Crazy Quilt

DJ-Gargoyle Chronicles wrote 59 days ago

Library of Living – Review
Nice start with a letter to the dead… and a return, but we know the plot, so do I just stop now? Only kidding… makes me want to know where you are going, so well done. And the ending makes you want to turn the page so excellent opening.
A few minor quibbles, take in or ignore what you like, it’s your stuff and I can only suggest.

Chapter One:
(Her descriptions of Ben – eyes etc were lovely, but would someone actually write that. I know you used the letter to show us Ben, but it was a little too authorish… it felt like you writing and not the character.)
“… that Pete bought you(,) but I could…” – () indicates missing punctuation or word
Check instances of the word BUT – in most cases there should be a comma before and in most cases you don’t have one. Found this all the way through.
Love the inclusion of song lyric, I do that a lot, you might want to footnote that though
Not sure he would be in the shape of a star, I imagined him being quite crumpled and flung about. But ignore me.
Red inky pool – lovely piece of writing.
Sun setting was also nicely done
Library description also nice.

Chapter Two:
Love the fact that this is not linear
“He (WAS) always late…”
Mum as superhero line was nice and subtle!
Like the childlike memories when he first meets Anna
“I didn’t like what he heard..” – I think the HE should be an I
Sweet ending to this chapter and nice story of the children, but I think you must have more up your sleeve…

Chapter Three:
“… book spines were stacked so highly…” – ‘so HIGH’ is sufficient here.
“… petals to home it in…” – I think, ‘petals to house it in…’
Nice back story here, especially of all the planets etc. I wonder how many religious people you might have upset with your theory, but I think it’s nice… almost an Aboriginal or (I Think) Hindu afterlife, but fantasy… very nice and very easy to read. The style is passive, but it adds to the sombre nature, so I think you have found the right approach.

Chapter Four:
Its novel how you swap between chapters of reflection and chapters of afterlife.
Not sure I like the POV here. In chapter 2 the boy was telling his own story and now we are hearing from the writer’s POV… hmmm. It is a good story here, but less personal than it had been. Still undecided if I like the change… still reading…
His mum’s a bit of a clean freak – no wonder his folks split up!
The description of his dad’s flat was vivid.
“If there was an alien stood on…” – should this be standing, or is this a colloquial thing?
Wendy house – love that term, only heard it just recently. Know what it is, but still not sure why it is called that.
Oh, pop tarts – we don’t get those anymore…! 
“… at the hospital she worked at…” – at the hospital where she worked… I think this is a cleaner way of saying this.
Still not sure about the change of perspective, but the story was well drawn to this point… I need some reflection time and then I will be back. Feel free t ignore any of this or all, if it helps I’m glad… love the premise though and still wondering where you will take me which is the thing, isn’t it!

:DJ

My2Cents wrote 60 days ago

What a great idea for a story! I've always prescribed to the idea that we may come back as something else but it's a clever twist to allow the person to chose. The story was written so well and it seems so polished. Well done!
Ken Spears

Vithereader wrote 62 days ago

I'm backing this because I believe you have tackled an amazing subject for a children's book, and have achieved something great. Well done!

Chris 1 wrote 62 days ago

You create an interesting setting for your characters and so a different angle to tackle the themes of love, yearning, grief, growing up. It's an enchanting way of showing how young people relate to each other. BACKED

Firebrat wrote 64 days ago

Hi Jessica

I've started to read your novel so it's early days with it .The concept is unique so far as I can tell in children's literature and maybe fiction in general. The celestial library of possible lives is a strange enough idea to stick in the readers' memories. Very few works of fiction spend time in a realised afterlife. Offhand there is "The Lovely Bones" but that's about it. You've taken a bit of a risk separating the two sweethearts from the beginning but the reader will be following the story to find out if, and in what form, their relationship will ever be resumed.

So, your story has a gripping start and I will be interested to see where the narrative goes after the set up of the first chapters.

There area couple of points you may want to look at; Ben sees portraits from the Tudor era; it might be handy for the reader to know how he identified them. The second is when Ben tells us "Diane laughed uncomfortably." The observation sounds more like an adult's than a teenager's. Minor points, I know. I look forward to exploring more of the Library.


Regards

Firebrat

C W Bigelow wrote 65 days ago

Backed til you get the prize. Good Luck! CW

Allisonsarah16 wrote 65 days ago

Jessica This story is beautiful. I was in tears reading about Bens mum and his funeral, it made me think of my 14 year old son dying. It makes much more sense to me, I am much more a believer of life after death and I would like to think you are pretty close with this. I Loved it best of luck and high stars. Allie (Loved and Lost)

CJBowness wrote 66 days ago

This is absolutely lovely - beautifully and gracefully written. Ben's emotions are described with such delicate sensitivity that it brought tears to my eyes even in Chapter 1. I have backed this at once and given it six stars. I shall defintely come back to it.
CJ Bowness
The Accidental Adventurers

R. Dango wrote 66 days ago

Coming back to read what I had started reading 8 months ago. I love library and I am secretly (though not anymore now) fanatic about after/before lives so I would never pass this book if I saw it in a book store, or a library.
I wish there was a library like this one in real life near my town. Maybe there is, but people are hiding it from me….
I won't make any comment about writing or anything. I don't feel qualified for it, and I think it is a very easy read.
I hope it'd be published quickly.

R

DCHedlin wrote 69 days ago

Jessica. I have read the first few chapters of your story. It's an intriguing concept that permits the reader to access options in an afterlife dream world. I have a few questions. The most important part of the story is the relationship between Ben and Anna. It seems to me that that is where you put most of your energy. You have Ben's point of view, and sometimes Anna's point of view. While there are interesting things about both Ben and Anna that bring them together, there is something undeveloped in your exploration of each. You provide details for each, but there is a generic feeling about their characters. For instance, Anna is introverted, and builds walls that Ben seems instantly to understand represents the wall she has put around herself. The reader expects some intriguing things to develop that might explain Anna's character, and all that comes is an act of rudeness regarding her lisp, which I doubt would explain - I hope it alone doesn't explain - a girl who might have layers in her character that the reader will discover through the story, just as we are being taken physically from one part of the library to another, discovering its layers. The same goes for Ben. He has a broken family, but I'd like to think that his character, his attraction to Anna, and their deep feelings at a young age, have a more curious, complex origin than a simple marriage breakup. His death so early is important and has a real impact. One wants that impact deepened. That can be achieved only if he grows in the reader's mind, becomes a more profound, unique, interesting character, as any character must be if he is central to a gripping story. It's not as clear as it might be what drives Ben except for generalized feelings of disappointment, shame, curiosity. You've created a triangle of sorts: Ben within himself (and his environment), Anna within herself, and Ben and Anna together. I like what you are doing, but the story won't be as successful as it certainly can be if it hangs mostly on feelings - Ben's, Anna's, and the ones the reader is supposed to have.

A second question is regarding proofing. You will want your story to succeed on the ED, so it should be a bit cleaner. There are issues with punctuation - commas missing, or present where they shouldn't be, mixed success with semi-colons - as well as occasional redundancies within sentences. (I wish Authonomy had an in-line editing feature). There are places where your use of quotation marks should be looked at. Times when you open with a quotation mark, but don't close. Or you switch between quoted conversation and internal thinking, though they sound much the same, and it's not entirely clear to the reader that it isn't just a mistake with quotation marks.

A third question is regarding the physical setting. The street, classroom, library with its maze and stonework, the farm. These are all very good ideas. I think you should take more time - not necessarily more words - honing your artistic vision of them, how they look, sound, feel.

I apologize if my comments seem unnecessarily critical. I believe you have a very interesting story. You have a vision. You have an affecting writing style. You have received very nice comments from many others along that line. I want to be constructive. If you have any questions, please contact me. If there is anything in particular you'd like me to look for in your writing, just ask.

David Hedlin
Moon's Wallow

Peter B wrote 71 days ago

What a nice and imaginative yarn about learning and growing. Well placed and vivid portrayal takes the reader right there, as though we were in the room along with them. Nice work, Peter B.
"The Bible I Thought I Knew"

Le Truc wrote 87 days ago

I have started reading this – I have added it on my WL to continue to work my way through all the books I have been recommended.
Keep up the great work!

Nicky Morgan wrote 97 days ago

Hi,
Just checked out your book and I think it's great. Got to say though, I'm not used to crying so early on a Monday morning! This is a beautifully written book with well written characters. The relationship between Ben and Anna is touching, as is Ben's longing for his father's love. So far I've read the first three chapters but I think this is so good that I want to finish it all.
High stars from me!
Nik.

CATHERINE SHAW wrote 114 days ago

This is lovely, sad, poignant, uplifting and written with such feeling. Ben and Anna are strong characters and you really get to know them. The plot is very original, 6 stars!!

Helen Laycock wrote 115 days ago

Hi Jessica,
I have finally got round to reading your book. What an intriguing take on reincarnation!

I enjoyed the opening use of letters to introduce the story. This indicates the strong relationship between Anna and Ben which is then underlined throughout the book as reminiscences are made. What I was most interested in was the library, so, I must confess, I raced through intervening paragraphs to get back to it!

There is a lot of narrative. I don't know whether you'd agree, but I think this could well benefit from being broken up more by dialogue between the characters.

I think this is a book that would be enjoyed by older children and adults alike.

Good luck with it!
Helen
Glass Dreams

Nancy1974 wrote 132 days ago

I enjoyed this book very much and have backed it.
Good luck!!
From
Nancy

subra_2k123 wrote 135 days ago

I read part of this book 11 months ago. I started reading from where I left it,now. The surprising thing is I still remember what I read. That's what a good writer do on your memory!!!
one silly comment though: ] A LIBRARY] reminds me a traditional wife and husband.LOL
I got this feeling that, with this kind of writing abilities, Jessica has a bright future as an author.

venkatarama
Ozoneraser

Seringapatam wrote 137 days ago

Jessica. Harry Cunningham below sums it up for me. It was a fantastic start to this book that grabbed me and wouldnt let go, however I have to agree with his comments about ' the moment that changed everything' Do you know what though???? I think if you jack this book up on the ramps and give it a dam good service, you would be sitting on a winner here. The best piece of advice I was given was 'Write the book as a reader and not as a writer'. I kept going back over what I had written with this in mind. I wish you all the luck in the world with this.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you? Happy New Year. Sean

Harry.I.Cunningham wrote 142 days ago

I like the idea of the story opening with two letters. This often grates with me even in published books but you seemed to pull it off well. However, I think having 'The moment that changed everything' as a sub-heading is far too hyperbolic and doesn't work. I think the letters work well as an opening on their own and so I would suggest moving everything else into a new chapter. I also felt that the section 'The library' is far too descriptive: there is paragraph upon paragraph without any speech. I found this a little annoying given that we had just been heavily involved in a sequence with Anna, Naomi and Ben.

I liked the section where we got to see Ben and Anna interact in chapter one that is. I thought you were good at speech.

subra_2k123 wrote 145 days ago

enjoyable read

venkatarama
Ozoneraser

evermoore wrote 152 days ago

CHRIG
Oh, Jessica...
I loved this book. I am sure it will be published and a best seller to boot. I love that Ben was in her life even when she was so certain she'd lost him. I love even more, the ending. Simply perfect. Six stars and leaving your book with a smile in my heart...
Linda
Daniel Simmons Journey
and
Children Walking with Jesus

Jaclyn Aurore wrote 155 days ago

Hi there,

I'm not sure how I came across this book, but it's really enjoyable and I'm glad I read on!

I like the innocent love between Anna and Ben, and I look forward to seeing how Ben figures out how to be with Anna again... I like the letter writing, and I hope to see more of this too... but the library of books in the 'after-life' is a fun and unique outlook. Great Story, highly starred!

Jaclyn x
It Never Happened (would love a return read if you're interested!)

findingbooks wrote 162 days ago

Hi,

I am the Executive Editor of ROMAN Books www.roman-books.co.uk . We are interested to consider your novel for publication. If you are interested, please contact us by e-mail at response@roman-books.co.uk.

Thanks!

Kindest regards,
SUMAN CHAKRABORTY.

ibholdvictory wrote 182 days ago

Hi Jessica, I hope everything is well with you. I hope you come back soon. I just want you to know that I have recently started reading your book. It is so compelling and I am just in Chapter One. I love the storyline, excellent and promising. I can visualize the story from the begining and it is a great story. I can't wait to read some more. Good job. Love it.


Catherine
If Only You Could Tell.

Laura Bailey wrote 184 days ago

Hi Jessica,

I have backed your book numerous times in the past and still love it. I really believe this will get picked up and as you're so close to the shelf I hope my support will get you there sooner.

Best wishes and good luck,
Laura

spadge wrote 220 days ago

CHIRG Review
Hi Jessica,
I loved this story, although I've only read the first few chapters I'm going to stick it on my watch list to catch up with later.
I believe in all the stuff you write about and always have (I'm a Buddhist). You write extremely well and have also edited the tale really well.
The story hooks the reader straight away and I love the way you open with the letters to your two main characters.
Wouldn't everyone in this life want to believe in the library and the lovely old woman?
Fantastic, keep it up! Good luck.
Regards
Steve 'Merlin's Cave'

Tufan wrote 229 days ago

Hi Jessica,

I've just come across your book. The title really stood out in the list, which was a good start!

It sounds as though you're definitely onto something... and your description is well written, however there were a few bits I didn't enjoy.

I found the letters at the beginning failed to grab my attention. Anna's letter felt a little like a brain dump and her description of Ben's "turquoise eyes and darkening blond hair" felt awkward and unnecessary. My attention was however grabbed by the start of the story. I'd suggest you remove the letters and just start with the beginning :)

I also struggled with your dialog. You don't need "shrugged" or "smiled" or adverbs like "casually" after each exchange. Just stick to "said", putting it as early as possible in the sentence and only adding it when you feel the reader might lose track of who is talking. Have a read of some other books to see what I mean. (e.g. Harry Potter or The Hunger Games).

In reference to my last comment, it might also be worth reading Cormac McCarthy's The Road, which doesn't use a single "he said" or "she said" and still manages to convey exactly who is talking!

I hope these comments help!